All language subtitles for The.Jamie.Foxx.Show.S01E03.360p.avi

What a difference a day makes 24 little
hours.

Is it hot in here, or am I just a bum?

You sure look handsome tonight.

Oh, look at that. You're making my
blister up.

Doesn't he look handsome tonight, Fancy?
Look at him.

Yeah, but he still smells the same.

Smell the same. Girl, I have you to know
that I have on some of the best

knockoff cologne money can buy.

It's called Come to Me.

Oh, please.

That doesn't smell like Come to Me.

Evening, all.

Alfalfa.

What's happening? Tell Darla I said
what's up.

Sure thing, buckwheat.

Oh, you're trying to get one in. That's
good.

Give me a little dab. Hey, huh?

I will have you know that I have a

date with a sophisticated woman. Oh,
okay.

Ah, that's probably her now.

The King's Tower?

Hello?

Oh, hello, my little love drunk.

Again?

Oh, no, no, it's not a problem.

Looks like a little love drop just drop
kicked you right in your ass to the

curb.

It's good.

Oh, I'm sorry, Braxton. Did your date
send you up again?

No, no, it's just that time of the
month.

Yeah, it's that time of the month for
you to get dissed again.

Ha, ha, ha. You see, Jimmy, you just
don't know women. Oh, yeah, brother, I

women very well, and I know that a woman
does not have that time of the month

five times in one month. She'd be so
drained.

Jimmy!

That's all right, Braxton. I'm sure
you'll have no problems finding another

date.

Oh, really?

Uh -huh.

So, uh, what are you doing later this
evening?

Uh...

I'm busy. I've got some things that I've
got to do. It's that time of the month.

What a difference a day makes.

Come for a little hour.

Dennis, what do you have on? Looking
like you've been in the back of Junior's

closet. Well, there's a 70s film
festival over at the Magic Johnson

I will see you.

Dennis, maybe you'd like some company.

Oh, I think you might feel a little
uncomfortable, Braxton.

There's going to be a lot of black
people there.

Well, I guess I'll go and re
-alphabetize some files.

Since I have so much extra time.

Jamie, can I see you for a second?

No,

come here.

What's happening? Honey, listen. Why
don't you ask Braxton to go out with you

tonight?

Me and Forrest Chump?

No, no, no, no, no. You know, they
always tell you that.

Don't ever say it ain't gonna ever
happen, but in this case, it ain't gonna

happen. Honey, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on. Don't be like that. You know,

he's probably gonna say no anyway.

Don't act like you ain't never been
embarrassed. I ain't never been

because I'm too fly for that.

I'm too fly for that.

You weren't so fly when you left that
kitty -kit perm in your hair too long

it all fell out in plugs and you were
crying for weeks because all the kids

running around calling you patches. I
thought we were just going to keep that

between us.

Listen, all I'm saying is just ask him.

Well,

go on.

Look at Holmes.

I'm just going to go up to this little
club and everything. We're going to be

partying and stuff, but you probably
don't want to go. There's a lot of drive

-bys and jackets and stuff.

Me?

Go out with you? See, that's exactly
what I thought. I'm out. No, no, no.

bro. See,

I am game.

No, see, you don't understand, brother.
Young, you know, soft -bred like

yourself might get your back broke if
anyone you play with.

I can defend myself, thank you very
much.

I will have you know that I have a
yellow belt in Hopkido.

Well, your breath is kicking like
cheetahs.

But, hey, anyway, look, we'll go ahead
and roll and everything. You can roll.

Hey, but one thing, man, when I'm
partying and everything, you know, kind

keep your distance, right? You know,
don't be crowding me because I'm going

be the Mac tonight.

And the way you dress, well, you're just
going to be whack tonight.

to the corner to buy me some touch -up
paint. We got some touch -up paint in

basement that you ain't touched.

What I want to do is... I know what you
want to do. You want to get some lotto

tickets. And you promised me you were
going to stop gambling.

The price of admission.

Oh, don't even sweat it, man. I know the
owner here, you know, he's an Olympic

basketball player. His name is Gary
Payton. Don't even sweat it.

Hold on, Lionel Rich, a little

bit. That's $15 a piece.

Oh, no, no, come on, Gary Payton. You
don't remember me, man?

Yeah, I remember you. You're the new
valet, Parker, right?

Oh, no, no, no, no. C .G., I was giving
you shouts out at the Olympics and

everything, yelling your name, G .P.

You probably didn't hear me, though,
because I was watching from the TV.

You get it, right?

Yeah, I get it.

Still $15 a piece.

There you go,

man. You still got your Olympic medal,
huh?

Yeah, I sure do.

I hope it turned your neck green.

I thought

you were going to call me.

You know, I was going to call you, girl,
but I've been so busy, you know, trying

to run that big old hotel by myself.

Who's your friend?

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, my man, that's my
driver.

May we just have some service, please?

Can I offer you gentlemen a screaming
orgasm? Hey, as long as I can go to

after, you know.

No, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.
Bring me a screaming orgasm, you know.

Bring my brother here a diet squirt.

How you doing?

You see, Brexton, I am the man in here.
Yeah, the trash man.

My God, look at all the garbage in this
place. I know, just smell it.

See, the thing about it is, man, is that
you're jealous of my max skills. Let me

show you how I put it down.

Uh, excuse me, uh, Shaniqua O 'Connor.

I was wondering, you know, I don't have
any money to afford you right now, but

why don't I put you on a layaway, and
then I'll come back later and get you

Call me LL Cool Jamie, baby.

If they'll fall for that, anyone can
score in here. Not just anybody, Ex

Just me.

But you know what? I don't want to count
you out.

As a matter of fact, why don't you go
see what you get?

Okay. I'll engage in your little
experiment.

I engaged.

Ah, excuse me.

Would you care to join me in some social
bonding?

Bondage? You ain't kind of nobody in
here, fool.

You're thinking I'm into that M &M
stuff.

That's S &M.

You...

Look here, singing in the rain.

Braxton. I know you've heard, Braxton,
that if you really want to get with

somebody, all you got to do is be
yourself, right?

Yeah. Well, squash that. Don't be
yourself.

Just be cool. Be smooth.

So what you're telling me is that I have
to stoop to your level of juvenile

vernacular and belittle my social
aptitude?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, do that.

Pardon me, miss.

I don't have sufficient funds for you
right now.

However, if I could put you on...
Layaway.

Layaway. Then, as I understand it, I can
pay the balance later and have you.

A pending credit approval, of course.

We will definitely hook up later, Mr.
Smoove.

Oh, Mr.

Smoove, huh? That is my name.

Don't wear it out.

I have to tell you, there may be some
potential to this approach.

Excuse me, homegirl.

I'd like to discuss a payment plan with
you.

Lay away, man. Lay away.

How you doing, girl?

You know, that platinum hair shit
doesn't look good on you.

What's your name, Ed?

Letuanus.

Letuanus.

Let's say me and you get on up out of
here.

Well, I'm ready.

Let's go.

Damn.

Damn, what'd you say your name was
again?

Letuanus. But for some reason, everybody
keeps calling me damn.

Damn. Huh?

What? No, no, no. I'm just saying it's
kind of lame. and everything, and I got

to go get my home.

Hey, look here, B, you ready to bounce?

Hey, what's the rush, J -Dog?

J -Dog?

This party is just getting started.
Ain't that right, lady?

Hey, smooth, could you do that dance for
us again?

Ah, for you, sweetheart?

I will do it all night long.

Mr. DJ, break me off something proper.

That's cool, man, but I'm finna get up
out of here. J -Dog, don't play a hate

when you can participate.

Yo, man, why don't you leave these skis
alone, man, and let's go? I don't trust

them.

You know what?

You're right.

Thanks for the advice, Jamie.

Right here. Put it there, man.

Yeah, well, uh, you're going to do it
like that, huh?

Yeah. That's cool.

I'm out of here.

Yeah? How are you going to get home?

I drove.

Damn!

You call me.

up. Really?

Yeah.

Dennis, you know the routine?

Yeah, my bad.

Be smooth.

Be smooth? I'm about to be sick.

I'm sorry for being late, but you know
when you're a big baller and a shot

caller, one schedule can get a bit
tight.

Kind of like Jamie's drawers.

I know you're not trying to bag on me,
Fulio Iglesias.

I would never try to bag on you, Jay
Doggy Dog.

You took the raw, crude Braxton and
sculpted him into the perfection that is

smooth.

Audi 5000G.

You did what?

Now the last thing we need is two of you
running around here.

check out is taking so long. I'm sure
we'll have it all straightened out in

a minute. Jamie, honey, are you almost
done with that credit card

Hold on.

No,

if I carry my one, I can't.

It ain't like it's my job. I mean, this
is Braxton's job. I don't know what I'm

doing. Yeah, you're right, and we need
to talk about that, but now I need you

handle this customer for me. Come on.

Brother, I am really sorry about taking
so long and everything, but if you could

sign right here, Mr. Ho.

Do I look like a ho to you?

Look, there's a little chick that came
in here. Oh, no, you didn't.

Jamie, Jamie.

What is up, my people?

Is it hot in here, or am I just the
bizarre?

No, it's just hot in here.

Now, look here, kid, and play it out.

You need to handle your business.

my business.

Maybe you need a business partner. I
mean, you know, since you got two.

Please, we're here to see Be Smooth, not
Be Country.

So be gone.

Be gone yourself, you ballpark stanks.

Stop!

Be Smooth, can you sing one of those
cool songs for us again?

Anything for you, honey.

Two, three.

Doing it, and doing it, and doing it
well.

Doing it, and doing it, doing it swell.

She represents Queens, and I went to
Cornell.

C -C -C -Cornell.

Be smooth. Your lyrics are so dope.
Thank you.

Oh, excuse me. Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't
answer it. We are just getting warmed

up. Ooh. Speak for yourself. I'm already
sizzling.

Look here, bro. I need to get the
receipts and everything to download the

computer. And also, can I get the
password?

Well, can't wait.

I'm trying to chill with my honey.

Yo, B, you're out of control. Everybody
downstairs is mad at me, man, because

you're not doing your job. And I told
you, you need to leave these gold

alone. Oh, is that so? Yeah, remember
when I told you to be like me and not be

yourself? Well, me would know that these
are gold diggers. They've been hanging

out with everybody. Hanging with the
Lakers, hanging with Gary Payton,

with Mr. Cooper.

They just hang with any brother that can
do something for them. You see, Jamie,

your player hating is getting
irritating.

Just admit it. You're jealous.

Jealous of what, B?

Braxton, are you ready for your full
body massage?

Bet.

Don't worry.

I'll take pictures.

Can I at least get the password to the
computer?

The password is peace out, wiggity
-whack daddy.

Where are you coming from? Oh, I just
tried to go play that stupid lotto. I

mean, can you believe it's up to $70
million and nobody wins?

Who would play these stupid numbers?
One, two, three, four, five.

Junior? What's wrong?

Fancy honey, call the doctor.

Junior baby, is it your heart?

Well, what is it then, honey?

My pocket. Your pocket?

Dennis, what did you say those numbers
were again?

Uh... One, two, three, four, five.

Wait a minute.

You mean to tell me you had the winning
numbers and you didn't play them?

But you said that I couldn't play them.
Fool, I said you had a gambling problem.

I could have played them.

Oh,

Jamie, I am due for a break, and Beat
Smooth's been gone for an hour.

Can you cover me?

Yeah, I can cover you with whipped cream
and these nuts in your mouth.

Come on, Jamie. I am serious. This is
just unfair. Here we are busting our

and Braxton's off doing his own thing.

Right. He has been bugging. You know,
consider him checked.

Yeah, I say we go up there, Jamie, and
we break him off a little something

something.

Like, what's up?

Yeah, where'd he go?

Wait a minute, Jamie.

What? He was abducted by aliens.

This happened.

What the hell are you talking about? No,
I'm not kidding. I'm serious about

this. They took this probe and they laid
me down. It was very quiet. This is

between us.

Sounds like you got attacked by some
gays.

What the hell?

Yeah.

say it isn't so.

Oh, my goodness.

Speaking of galleons, look, he just came
out the closet.

Wait a minute, Jimmy. I think he's
trying to say something.

What'd you say?

Oh, the ladies tied you up in a jacket?

Jimmy's stuck in a mine shaft.

Engines?

What are you trying to say, big baller?
Collect caller?

the victim of a heinous crime.

This is hardly the time for your
sophomoric antics.

I've been violated by those hood rats.

I feel so cheap.

Shut up and untie me, you moron. Oh,
he's trying to pop off. Well, put these

bilge gnolls in your juice.

Hey, hey, hey, Jim.

Who are you, Mariette?

Where is he?

Braxton's got a new camera.

Well, well, well, Brextier.

Let's take a family picture, shall we?
Smile, if you can.

Dance,

Jamie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You see,
I particularly like this one because

this one shows the true sucker that you
are.

Is that worth to you?

All right, look, look, look.

I'll give you $15, okay? Oh, cool. Sold.
Only in America.

Well, Braxton, I'll call this, I got
Jackson.

All right, all right, all right. Look,
look, I'll buy the rest for $200.

Yo, yo, BB, that's not necessary. I
really don't want your money, man. I

want you to admit that you could never
be me. You never will be.

And answer one question.

Who's the man?

Okay, okay, okay, look.

I'll admit that I'm better off being
myself.

And that you have more hoochie savvy
than I.

You think that I'm going to admit that
you're the man?

You are sadly mistaken, bucko.

Frankly,

I don't give a damn.

Somebody call me.

Oh, she is good.

All the kids were running around calling
you bad.

And you cried. Hold on, hold on. But the
box said 15 minutes.

Boy, you.

because I was yelling all, you know,
yelling.

Yo, B,

I'm trying to tell you, you got to
control.

Golly, golly, golly.

Leave these gold -digging hoochies,
freaks, and stuff like that.

Because, you know, sometimes, oh, say,
can you see by the dawn's early light?