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For centuries...
...humanity has searched.
Humanity... Humanity has searched with great desperation, seeking answers.
Desperately seeking answers
to the world's greatest
and most confounding questions.
For the greatest and most confounding questions that plague us.
The limitations of our physical selves.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
today, we say no more.
Say it with me. No more!
No more limits,
no more weakness, no more illness, no more age,
no more sickness, no more ugly. No fucking more!
Today,
I present you the answer,
the solution,
the savior, the proof,
me.
The new and improved Byron Forst.
Once, an old man staring mortality in the face.
Riddled with cancer, cholesterol, decay, age.
Now, this.
With one simple injection,
I met... ...the new and improved version of myself.
It is time to meet the new improved versions of yourselves.
It is time to become...
a beauty.
Obesity and advanced diabetes were threatening my life and my legs.
I was told amputation was in my future.
But not anymore. Thanks to The Beauty...
-...I'm living my best life.
After a life filled with antidepressants and crummy therapists,
I became a cop to help me cope with my big-boned huskiness.
Cursed by my family genes.
Until now.
Long ago, we were forced to leave our best selves behind.
Aging, illness and nursing home food lie ahead.
I can't even remember my own name.
Alzheimer's is staring me in the face.
As is another round of breast cancer. Life is not fair.
No need to consult a doctor.
The Beauty and its aesthetic protector boosters are approved for everyone.
Need help cleaning up your gooey sac
or a soothing voice to hold you through those beautiful sweats?
Visit TheBeauty.com to find the package that's right for you.
But don't wait. You've arrived at the intersection of life.
Don't make the wrong turn. Get jabbed and feel fab today.
Side effects include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea,
anal leakage, vaginal secretions, penile drip, calcified butt cheeks,
heart palpitations, blindness, fever, superheated fever
and combustion ignition ketosis.
If you find yourself inside a transition sac for more
than six hours, call an ambulance.
The Corporation is not responsible for any side effects,
death, bodily harm caused by this treatment.
By ingesting, you forfeit class action rights
and agree to lifetime secret arbitration at the discretion of The Corporation.
You need to eat something.
In here? Are you fucking insane?
Why are they doing this to us?
Maybe they don't know what to do with us.
Maybe we're a... a danger to society because we're contagious.
Maybe some twisted social experiment.
Yeah, maybe all of it.
Here, take this. You're only one day out of the sac,
and the food's gonna be out any second.
I don't care. I'd rather starve to death than rot in here forever.
When that girl exploded,
a piece of her got into my mouth.
I tasted her.
I think that's how I caught it. Whatever this is.
I can't see my face, but it feels different. It feels different, you know?
You're very good-looking.
I am?
Hmm.
-So are you.
You're beautiful.
I always wanted to be that.
Have someone call me that.
I never was.
- Come on!
Come on. Get up.
Move!
Stop it.
- No, no! - Fuck! No!
Here. Take mine.
You're fine. You're fine. All is well.
-Fuck this! I want out! -Barry, you need to calm down.
-You hear me? -Don't give them the satisfaction.
-You hear me? -Don't give them the satisfaction. Let me the fuck out of here!
Let me the fuck out of here!
-I wanna go home! -Don't let them see you break. Please.
You need to listen to me.
-I don't belong in here. -You gotta calm down.
-None of us belong in here.
Stand back.
Relax. They're here to save us.
We're in position.
Copy that.
Execute.
Hey, now what the fuck's wrong with you, huh?
Twitching and glitching and shit.
Come on, J, you gotta be smarter.
Please try. Dear God, these two are blinking like idiots.
Communicating. Morse code. They think they're so fucking smart.
Who the fuck is Morse and what's the goddamn code?
This is what I'm saying, young grasshopper.
It's about awareness, surroundings, entrances, exits, eyes, threats.
I'm only a threat if you make me one.
Well, you're just itchin' to finish what we started in there, huh?
Wow. Sassy, defensive.
Your one-eyed friend is profiling like a very nervous perp right now.
It's just how my man is.
No, these two lovebirds, they're flustered, you know,
'cause they're stuck in the land of heavy petting and dry humping.
Look at you. Probably got calluses all over that thing
waiting for this pussy to pass safety inspection.
I mean, if he loved you, he'd just go for it, right?
He'd be going in dick first, ask questions later.
You should be deep diving, back stroking and super soaking in that punani, man.
Best thing that ever happened to me was getting infected.
-I'm just saying. - Hundred Percent.
Go on, Cooper.
You know, you got a face like a catcher's mitt.
I mean, you're the only one here who hasn't turned pretty yet, so...
Water's warm. Come on in.
About to get real fucking warm from what I hear.
Did he tell you how this thing works?
I bet he left out a few details.
Uh, here they go. Here they go with the routine.
Play one against the other and all that blinking was them hatching the plan.
They pinned you as the weak one. Mocking you, J.
You gonna let them disrespect you like that?
You're gonna let him treat you like an idiot?
This thing is a death sentence.
Even if it wasn't, you really think there's a version of any of this
where you just walk out alive?
Oh.
Oh. He really doesn't know, does he?
Guess they're just gonna let him pop like all the others.
Hey!
No more eyes, no more lips, no more motherfucking bullshit.
No more eyes, no more lips, no more motherfucking bullshit. -You hear me? You understand? Hmm?
-You hear me? You understand? Hmm?
All I know is y'all better stop fucking around with me.
Hey, what's she talking about?
Am I really gonna pop?
Just listen to me, okay? Don't fucking listen to these two.
Showtime!
Well, they're all yours, gentlemen. Enjoy.
I'm kinda bummed.
I wanted those two to myself, but I do love a good edge and denial sesh.
You fellas mind if I watch?
Remember what I told you.
Flattery, but no sign of desperation.
Desperation triggers disdain, and you'll never recover.
Dad.
Get up.
Byron, aren't you going to say happy birthday to our dear Gunther?
I'm sorry.
You two have been institutionalized for so long, I can't tell you apart.
Who's the birthday boy?
Is it bald and fat or is it the one that looks
like a 7-Eleven bag filled with bones?
You know, it doesn't matter. None of this matters.
Oh, no, no, no. Uh, steak. Well done. Thousand Island on the side, please.
Is she new? She's new. Must be.
The fuck is that? Whoa, whoa.
Well, uh, the boys, they want to tell you something important. Please.
We, uh... We really love and appreciate what you've done for us.
Yeah, yeah, we want to cut the cord. Stand on our own.
By starting our own company.
Based on a big idea.
A can't-miss big idea.
I mean, today might be my birthday,
but really, we wanted to take this moment and give our greatest gift
-to you, Dad. -Cut the shit.
How much is this gonna cost me?
Come on, come on. Continue, continue. Con...
Yeah.
-You're in on this. You're in on this.
- Look. Look. Presenting...
-Abroha!
The world's first--
Streaming service for... ...bros.
What exactly does such a service provide?
What exactly does such a service provide? -Speedboats. -Golf stuff.
-Speedboats. -Golf stuff.
-Boobs. -Cigar content.
Wow. Uh, I mean, wow, this, uh...
I have to tell you, I am relieved.
I was terrified this was gonna be some kind of insane idea,
like going to the backyard and lighting $20 billion on fire.
But this...
This is so much more sensible.
How long have you two been clean?
Hmm.
Yeah. Forget it. I... You know, I met a progeria case the other day,
delightful young girl on death's door.
And she had a more promising trajectory in life than you two.
-Byron, stop it, please! Stop it. -No. No. No.
Do you know what I really want? What I really want?
Yes.
-Sons that I don't have to deny exist.
You could feed a large country with the amount of money I have spent
trying to produce a DNA test that proves that I am not related to either of you!
I'm at wits' end here, fellas!
Now get the fuck out!
Flawed as they may be, I love them with my whole heart.
I want to love them.
We gave them the world.
And they flopped.
No, Byron. Your love was conditioned...
-Oh, no, no. -...like any transaction in your life.
-Oh, no, no. -...like any transaction in your life. -No. -Yes.
-No. -Yes.
My work has always been my true offspring.
I knew that.
And my favorite child is about to be all grown up.
We're gonna be beaming down on every streamable device on the planet.
A full two-hour takeover.
Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok.
We're going global, babe.
-Wake up, fuckhead. Welcome to hell.
These are the people from the Condรฉ Nast situation.
Fuck.
Supposed to be a quarantine zone.
Yeah, doesn't look like one.
Unless we want to end up like these guys, we need to start thinking. Fast.
Hey. They fucked you.
Whoever had you doing their dirty work,
didn't give a shit about you in the end. We gotta move.
I trusted him.
Never your enemies you have to worry about.
What a fucking trip, man. We about to die.
What'd they give mopey over here?
Fuck you!
Wow, look who's finally grown a set of balls.
You know, you two, such a good team.
No idea how you got discarded into this shit soup.
-Fuck you. - Reality check, dumbass.
You're in here 'cause they want you dead. Same as us.
This whole shit has been fucked from the jump, hasn't it?
Hasn't it?
-Fuck, man.
Uh, what a fucking trip.
And I trusted you with everything, man.
You never gave a shit about me, huh?
Be honest! For fucking once. You never gave a shit about me.
God, I trusted you with everything.
Hey, you know what's fucking hilarious?
While you stringing me along with this...
with this father-son, "take the lead" bullshit,
you the one that got fucked with yo' bitch ass.
You want my help, I suggest a speedy change in tone.
-Hey! Hey! I fucking trusted you!
I don't have time for this shit! You two fucking idiots wanna look around?
Unless you wanna be littered with bullets,
I suggest you calm the fuck down and think!
We gotta find a way out of here!
Please, no.
Please.
Wait! Wait-Wait! Wait!
Oh, no, no, no, no! No, no!
Agent Madsen.
Wait. Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Don't fucking touch him!
Hey! No, no, no, don't take him. Hey!
-Cooper! -It's okay. I'm coming back for you.
-Please don't kill me. Please.
Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me.
What... What now, huh?
to the survival of the human race.
Huh. In, like, a thousand years.
Right now, it's a hellscape of hazards up there for humans.
No... For years, we've been launching rockets, prepping vehicles, habitats?
Our first Mars exploratory launches in six weeks.
Okay, well, feel free to launch your fat ass up there.
And take Katie with you. You guys can "take up some space."
Look, it's expensive, it's messy, it's loud,
it's complicated, it's time-consuming.
And I realized it's... stupid.
But you were so passionate about this. About protecting mankind.
Yes. And then I realized it's going to benefit future generations.
And not me. Not me at all.
Look, I-I am pouring copious amounts of capital into something
that will benefit humanity, perfect it, even. Today.
So...
You're not seriously pulling the plug on me too, are you?
You can't tell me you didn't see this coming.
I mean, you-you had to have noticed my interest
in your project waning for months.
I never know what you're interested in these days.
Yeah, you know why? 'Cause you spend all day playing with robots.
You have the emotional IQ of a stockpot.
This is not just a job to me, Byron. This is my life.
What we are working on together in my division can help humanity.
It can help global warming.
It's a business. A competition.
It was a Bake-Off. And you lost.
You're seriously choosing Ray and his fountain of youth bullshit?
He's better. He's faster. He's willing to break things.
He's a bit milquetoast for my taste, but the-the guy gets results.
-I gave up everything for this. -Oy...
-I gave up my husband.
Any chance for having children. I have given you everything I have.
But we have a good story. On paper.
This titan of industry develops Internet weirdo who sees humanity in machines.
Some stories have a shit ending.
I know you.
And I know you know how deeply flawed Ray's work is.
He's reckless. He doesn't account for variables. Organics is wild.
-It's imprecise. It's impossible to tame. -You lost.
He won. It's over.
You know, the biggest surprise here is how much I fell for your bullshit.
-Wow. -Mm-hmm.
We still have several deacons out in the wild, learning, collecting data.
Repurpose them.
-Whatev... No, you know, actually...
...leave them out there.
I wanna see how long it takes for people to find them.
Dollar to doughnut says some sad-sack fuck is already engaged to one.
- Uh-oh.
That is a knockless entry.
Time to go, robot lady. I'll have the lawyers button things up.
My work has power that you haven't even bothered to understand,
and we are closer than you think. You pull the plug,
and I will take my talents elsewhere. And you will regret it.
Okay.
Conveniently, I have this noncompete agreement that you signed right here
that dictates that all patents
and physical products revert to me.
You walk out the door, you start from scratch.
You know what? That's a bit draconian even for me.
I'll give you another shot.
Throw your best Hail Mary on ten percent of the budget.
And when you fail, you're done.
Nice suit.
You need to do as you're told.
Wh... What am I being told?
Do as you're told.
What the fuck am I being told?
Calm down. You need to do as you're told.
You need to let me the fuck out of here!
Who are you?
Someone who also did what he was told.
I had a sick child.
I did what I was told, and I got what I wanted.
A sick child? Sick how? I-I-I don't understand.
You understand my daughter's situation.
Meyer?
You motherfucker.
Do as you're told.
You fucking sold us out.
- Do as you're told. - Fuck you!
Meyer! Meyer, let us out of here!
- Do as you're told. Meyer, you piece of shit!
- Do as you're told. Meyer, you piece of shit! - Do as you're told. -Meyer, let us out of here, Meyer! Meyer!
- Do as you're told. -Meyer, let us out of here, Meyer! Meyer!
Do as you're told!
Oh, no. Out-of-season crab again?
No. It's the boys.
What about them? -The stress of building Abroha.
Addiction got hold of them, and they got a bad batch.
Oh, my.
Fentanyl has them in a ventilator at the hospital.
I have the plane being refueled as we speak so we can be by their side.
Oh. I'm sure a lifetime of Cheetos and pharma cocktails
has them prepped and ready for this fight.
Byron. This might be the last time we ever see them.
How many times have you said that?
Really, please, ta-take a moment. Count.
Relax.
I knew you'd wanna see them...
-Of course I wanna see them. -So I brought them here instead.
-On a medevac? How? -My way.
- You didn't. -I did.
Mom, it's Tig. Tiger?
Momma.
Gunther?
But you're Black.
How is that possible?
I was wondering the same thing. Turns out, I'm five percent Nigerian.
The Beauty is an unpredictable and fascinating disrupter.
- How did you-- -How... Okay.
You were busy taking your sound bath,
and despite my repeated attempts to be removed
from their emergency contact forms, they managed to get ahold of me.
-Oh, no. -So I saved them.
Yeah, Mom, we're, like, cured. I mean, I have abs.
I feel incredible. I... I'm like... I'm kinda like Drake.
I... I've never felt better.
Believe it or not, I'm six martinis deep right now, and you can't even tell.
Impressive, huh? They're, like, gorgeous, high-efficiency garbage machines.
Far better suited to withstand a lifestyle they could not divorce themselves from.
I mean, the-they're metabolically perfect. I'm excited, honestly.
I've been wondering how much a human body can tolerate post-transformation.
Who better to redline test these things than our boys?
I... I am so grateful to have you back in whatever form.
I love you as the day you were born.
Oh.
I might even be open to a Christmas card this year.
Think of how we'll... we'll look. A Benetton campaign!
No. Your acts of malice were tolerated as long as you left the boys alone.
A line has been crossed.
I'm sorry.
I'm struggling to hear the "thank you" in there.
Thank you?
I saved them. We should be celebrating. I'm changing the world.
Let's-- Let's-- Let's pop a cork or two
and go upstairs while I bring you over to the other side.
We can be one big, beautiful family.
Mom, he's right.
It really works. You should try it.
Oh, no. No.
Come on now.
Oh, we got her. Oh. My love.
The natural order will have a say.
You forced my hand like never before.
I will ensure that vengeance greets you until my last dying breath.
You have been warned.
It's okay. I'm okay.
- You okay? - I'm okay.
Yo, Five-O, what's the deal? They ask for me in there?
I think Meyer's trying to save us.
Meyer Williams, our boss?
Yes, that was him. He's been infected. Voluntarily.
What? I... Oh, my God.
Hey, what did they say? Are they gonna kill us or, like, what, man?
Shut the fuck up!
-This is fucked. - More fucked than I thought.
Listen, I think something crazy is about to happen.
And I need you to trust me.
Of course I trust you. I love you.
I love you too.
Come with me. Jump on.
Do as we're told.
Let's go. All of you, let's go.
Wait, no, Cooper, that's insane.
Hey. Trust me.
Oh, fuck.
What do we do?
Do as you're told.
All packages secured. Ready for extraction. Let's go.
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