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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:20,640 What is it? 2 00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:23,860 Anybody? 3 00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:26,300 A sport? 4 00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:29,000 Sport. Can you be more specific? 5 00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:30,920 Full content. 6 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,760 Okay. 7 00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:34,860 Anyone else? 8 00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:36,740 What else? 9 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,800 I mean, in the water. 10 00:03:42,060 --> 00:03:43,060 Don't. 11 00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:46,960 Come on, guys. 12 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,600 Anyone else? 13 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,520 What about you, in the middle? 14 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,140 What? Me? 15 00:03:52,860 --> 00:03:59,060 Yeah. Uh, yeah, yeah, no, um... We're just about working together. 16 00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:04,820 Um, like, as one big family or whatever. 17 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:06,560 Joe! 18 00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:10,740 What else? 19 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,920 Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, um... Communication? 20 00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:16,659 Don't hug the ball. 21 00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:20,760 Oh. We have communication. 22 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,220 We have... Very 23 00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:33,940 good, 24 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,200 very good, very good. 25 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:39,300 Oh, so very smooth. Very good, very good. 26 00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:42,540 Very good. 27 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,640 Thank you. 28 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,080 supposed to be in here for 15 minutes? 29 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:46,000 Um, only... 10 minutes. 30 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,400 All right, there you have it. 31 00:05:57,700 --> 00:06:00,700 You're breathing pretty good, huh? Yeah. Not too bad? 32 00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:01,980 No, yeah, yeah, good. 33 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,000 I spoke to your mom earlier. 34 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,860 Hey, no cause for concern. 35 00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:09,220 She's a nice lady. 36 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:10,760 I was having a chat. 37 00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:13,400 She said you guys had just moved from Boston. 38 00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:16,360 Yeah. Yeah. It was a big move. 39 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:17,960 It was pretty exciting. 40 00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,100 It was scary. 41 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,360 You know, I remember I moved to San Diego when I was 10. 42 00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:28,200 And that was like stepping onto another planet, you know? 43 00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:33,560 Anyway, I just wanted you to know I'm your coach, but I'm also here if you 44 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,820 wanted to, you know, talk. 45 00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:38,470 I know this whole thing could be a little daunting, you know. 46 00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:40,750 Okay? Thank you. Go. 47 00:06:41,490 --> 00:06:43,810 All right, now I'm going to fill in this stupid form. 48 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:49,790 My goals by the end of the summer are to blank, blank, and blank. 49 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,440 Excuse me. Sorry. 50 00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:42,360 I've 51 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:51,780 got 52 00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:58,040 one. Would you rather your food always be hot and you never get used to it, 53 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,240 always hot, or have no knees? 54 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,800 Food has no knees. No knees? 55 00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:04,830 These knees, they're gone. You don't have knees. 56 00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:09,850 No knees. Uh, wait, so... I don't have no knees. Hot, like, spicy... The food 57 00:08:09,850 --> 00:08:10,789 already has no knees. 58 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:16,550 No, just... Um... Hey, would you guys rather... A, every time you have an 59 00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:21,770 orgasm, the song All Star by Smash Mouth plays, or B, every time the song All 60 00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:24,590 Star by Smash Mouth plays, you guys have an orgasm? 61 00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:28,850 B. Yo, fuck Smash Mouth. How does it play in the A situation? 62 00:08:29,150 --> 00:08:33,330 I like the small, but, like... decently powerful boombox that just magically 63 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:37,929 appears when you orgasm. So wait, 64 00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:40,929 does the entire song play, or can you make it soft? 65 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:42,350 The entire song. 66 00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:44,570 Still A. 67 00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:46,170 What'd you just say? 68 00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:47,890 What? 69 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,550 You said, can you make it soft? 70 00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:55,270 What? 71 00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,230 No. 72 00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,530 What'd you just say, then? 73 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,960 Nothing. Make it stop. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. 74 00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:05,319 He didn't. 75 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,320 What? 76 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,080 Say stop. 77 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,820 What? No, why? 78 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,020 You can't say it. Yo, who can't say stop? 79 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,400 Yes, I can. 80 00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,940 Okay. Then say it. 81 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,240 Wait, wait, so guys, would you rather... 82 00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:32,840 Okay, would you rather - Bro, he can't say it. 83 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:38,140 See how he doesn't want to say it? Then say it. 84 00:09:39,940 --> 00:09:40,940 Say it! 85 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:43,680 Say it! Okay, okay, okay, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 86 00:10:19,390 --> 00:10:21,990 They taste normal to me. 87 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,890 No parents get all the help out of coffee. 88 00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:28,810 Can you say pasta? 89 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,280 Yeah, that's exactly the only truth for me. 90 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:50,220 Would you rather suck a dick, but you can have sex, or you don't do that, 91 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,920 but you can never have sex again? 92 00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,520 No, never have sex again. 93 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,920 What's up? Damn, what's good? 94 00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:00,640 Uh, I just, I heard your event. 95 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,040 What is an event? 96 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,760 Uh, like you were here last session? 97 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,520 Oh, yeah, I was. 98 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:13,790 I was supposed to just stay for first session, but my dad fucked up and paid 99 00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:16,590 both, and he couldn't get a refund, so I had to stay. 100 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,770 He was so pissed when he realized you should have seen his face. Holy shit. 101 00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:22,350 Uh, who are the others? 102 00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:25,170 Vets? Me, Logan. 103 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:26,510 What's up? Matt. 104 00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:30,270 You can go. What? Chickie and Eli. 105 00:11:32,570 --> 00:11:33,570 Eli's a vet? 106 00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:35,630 Sadly. 107 00:11:38,050 --> 00:11:39,050 No, I just... 108 00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:42,770 They're supposed to, like, improve or something. 109 00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:45,110 Only if you try. 110 00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:47,070 You have a dream. 111 00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:48,230 Bye. 112 00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:57,790 Uh, so what's with the whole, like, musical chairs -y thing? 113 00:11:58,710 --> 00:11:59,710 What? 114 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:02,310 Uh, like at lunch? Oh, 115 00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:04,130 the plague? 116 00:12:04,930 --> 00:12:06,130 You guys got the plague? 117 00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:12,960 It's not funny, bro. You ever heard of leprosy? 118 00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:17,520 Wait, Eli's a leper? 119 00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:20,720 Lepers aren't real, but similar. 120 00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:24,760 There's no official prognosis, so we call it the plague. 121 00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:29,940 Like, those aren't regular pimples. Those are plague pimples. 122 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,840 It's a plague face. 123 00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:36,000 Like, I'm telling you, bro, he didn't have pimples a few weeks ago. 124 00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:38,120 That's some plague shit right there. 125 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,640 A few days later, he gets a freaky -ass rash all over his body. 126 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,800 Like, why do you think he wears that shirt all the time? 127 00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:48,900 You think that's a fashion statement? 128 00:12:49,780 --> 00:12:50,780 Nah, bro. 129 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:52,260 That's some plague shit. 130 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,600 Next thing, it affects the nervous system. 131 00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:58,700 Breaks down motor skills. 132 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:05,720 You bump into some things, trip over yourself, you start dropping shit. 133 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,740 Normal things, like eye contact. 134 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:13,240 Or the ability to hold a, like, regular conversation. 135 00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:16,420 Just goes out the window. 136 00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,760 Turns your brain into baby food. 137 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,440 No brain, no nothing. 138 00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:29,240 So, I mean, shouldn't he... Shouldn't he, like, see a doctor? 139 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,480 I mean, he had. It's like herpes. 140 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,500 No cure for him. 141 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,560 So, it's like contagious? 142 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:51,160 Incredibly. But only through touch, so... If you're exposed... 143 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:55,640 Oh man, you just gotta wash yourself like that. 144 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,000 It's too cold for you, Soppy? 145 00:14:58,920 --> 00:14:59,980 Uh, nah. 146 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,360 It's good. Nah, it's, um, good. 147 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,260 Soppy, you get no bitches. 148 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,960 Soppy, where are you from? 149 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:13,900 Um, Boston. 150 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,120 Huh? 151 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,640 Boston. Boston? 152 00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:18,580 Like, what? 153 00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:42,310 Yo, yo, that's where Eli was sitting. He's infected. 154 00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:48,130 Thinking about this girl I saw earlier. 155 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:50,350 Okay. What girl? 156 00:16:50,850 --> 00:16:52,530 She live in Canada? 157 00:16:54,470 --> 00:16:57,110 Yo, come and get this man some lube. 158 00:17:00,990 --> 00:17:02,130 Yo, tell me about her. 159 00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:05,170 We all want to hear it. 160 00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:13,109 Sophie! 161 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:24,359 I'm picturing her standing in the shower, washing herself. 162 00:17:25,319 --> 00:17:26,319 Okay. 163 00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:35,660 Suddenly she starts, like, rubbing herself, 164 00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:42,200 and she tells me how, like, 165 00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:45,680 wet she is. 166 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,020 Hardcore shit, bro. Close. 167 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,080 And, 168 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:05,440 um... Not gonna lie, so 169 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,440 did I. 170 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,580 Uh, sorry. 171 00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:10,780 I did too. 172 00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:07,550 What are 173 00:20:07,550 --> 00:20:14,270 you 174 00:20:14,270 --> 00:20:17,230 doing? What do you mean what am I doing? That's the pirate call, stupid. 175 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:21,210 That's not a pirate call. That is a pirate call, so tell me what that is 176 00:20:21,590 --> 00:20:23,870 That's like a viking call though. What is a viking? 177 00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:26,450 It's like an old village. 178 00:21:17,740 --> 00:21:21,360 Now we've better... How do you do 179 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:26,060 that? 180 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,620 Thou shalt never know, mortal. 181 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,200 about the blow water game. 182 00:27:33,420 --> 00:27:36,560 That separates the pros and the amateurs. 183 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:44,620 And in the Olympics, they like shave their pubes so people can't pull them 184 00:27:44,620 --> 00:27:45,319 of their water. 185 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:46,320 Yep. 186 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:48,120 Yeah. 187 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,040 My brother says you have to have long fingernails. 188 00:27:51,660 --> 00:27:52,840 You can trash guys. 189 00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:57,280 So the secret is keep them smooth but kind of long. 190 00:27:57,780 --> 00:28:00,800 After they've been approved, just bite them in the little points. 191 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,240 Is your brother like a pro? 192 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:09,960 I mean, he's only 18, but Princeton and Brown are basically a death match over 193 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:10,960 him. 194 00:28:56,780 --> 00:28:57,780 I think I came. 195 00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,040 Right, Stomp? 196 00:29:09,260 --> 00:29:10,260 This guy, Charlie. 197 00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:12,460 Last session. 198 00:29:12,980 --> 00:29:14,140 He's the one who gave it to Eli. 199 00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:17,840 Got to the point where I couldn't even hold a coherent conversation. 200 00:29:18,540 --> 00:29:19,780 He had to go home early. 201 00:29:20,980 --> 00:29:22,920 Is he okay now? 202 00:29:24,970 --> 00:29:26,930 Last I heard he was in some mental institution. 203 00:29:29,050 --> 00:29:30,550 Spends his days playing Jenga. 204 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:07,280 Don't forget to mark your calendars. The highly anticipated summer swi dance for 205 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:13,620 all camps is coming up in the main gymnasium. This year's theme is Under 206 00:32:13,620 --> 00:32:14,620 Sea. 207 00:32:34,220 --> 00:32:38,620 Cheers No Doritos No, she is 208 00:32:38,620 --> 00:32:42,560 I Wouldn't be an evil No, 209 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:50,820 they just No, I could I could turn I could turn the 210 00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:55,260 majority of sips into good people. Are you fine? Yeah, I would probably just 211 00:32:55,260 --> 00:33:00,320 kill you. No, I would I would I would make sure that they all became good 212 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,120 It's a question. 213 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:21,080 How old? 214 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,320 Thirteen. Thirteen. 215 00:35:23,620 --> 00:35:24,620 Twelve. 216 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,040 Thirteen and twelve. 217 00:35:31,020 --> 00:35:32,020 Old enough. 218 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:34,300 Old enough. 219 00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:39,240 Your actions are not neutral. 220 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:46,340 I mean, did any of you even once stop and think, how would I feel if that were 221 00:35:46,340 --> 00:35:51,920 me? And you were called out in front of the girls and pointed at and laughed at 222 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:55,300 for something that I swear to God you got no control over. 223 00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:58,360 Logan? 224 00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:00,940 I guess I'd feel bad. 225 00:36:01,540 --> 00:36:03,520 You guess you would feel bad. 226 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,100 Says the guy that lit the match. 227 00:36:06,860 --> 00:36:07,980 I was just joking. 228 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:10,200 So you think it's funny? 229 00:36:11,540 --> 00:36:12,540 No. 230 00:36:15,620 --> 00:36:18,650 Jake? What about you? Do you think it was funny? 231 00:36:18,930 --> 00:36:21,830 I mean, kind of, yeah. 232 00:36:22,030 --> 00:36:23,030 Kind of, yeah. 233 00:36:24,450 --> 00:36:27,070 And why? Explain to us. Why do you think it was funny? 234 00:36:27,450 --> 00:36:34,370 Well, for one, his dick was hard. Let me ask you this. 235 00:36:34,450 --> 00:36:37,870 Have you ever been shamed in front of a group? 236 00:36:39,150 --> 00:36:41,330 Like, deeply, deeply shamed? 237 00:36:41,850 --> 00:36:43,450 That's exactly what you're doing right now. 238 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,560 So you're, what, 13? 239 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:53,240 12. 12. 240 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:59,080 Yeah. And you're laughing at the stupidest, most juvenile, five -year 241 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:02,160 Beavis and Butthead kind of... Five -year -old George Beavis and Butthead? 242 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:07,120 have two seconds to wipe that smile off your face, or all of you, because of 243 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,620 Jake, are going to be doing burpees in the sun all day. 244 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,480 I'm not even joking. 245 00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:13,760 One. 246 00:37:49,650 --> 00:37:55,460 Okay Donkey, donkey, donkey, donkey. D -d -d -donkey, d -d -d -donkey. D -d -d 247 00:37:55,460 --> 00:37:57,720 -d -donkey, donkey, donkey, donkey. 248 00:37:58,540 --> 00:38:00,080 Donkey, donkey. Can you, like, stop doing that? 249 00:38:00,540 --> 00:38:02,140 Can you, like, stop doing that? 250 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:05,060 Suck my dick, Sobby. 251 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000 Suck your own dick. 252 00:38:07,180 --> 00:38:08,180 That's not even possible. 253 00:38:08,540 --> 00:38:10,060 Yes, it is. No, it's not. 254 00:38:10,260 --> 00:38:11,259 Yes, it is. 255 00:38:11,260 --> 00:38:14,800 Mike Griswold does it all the time. No, he doesn't. Yes, he does. 256 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,260 How? What do you mean, how? 257 00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:18,220 The man is double jointed. 258 00:38:18,580 --> 00:38:19,700 End of story. 259 00:38:21,950 --> 00:38:22,950 You a vegetarian? 260 00:38:25,030 --> 00:38:26,030 Yeah. 261 00:38:26,190 --> 00:38:27,190 Why? 262 00:38:28,230 --> 00:38:31,210 Well, I guess I just feel bad for the animals. 263 00:38:33,030 --> 00:38:36,570 Would you care if it's, like, a three -tongued, like, cow that's, like, all 264 00:38:36,570 --> 00:38:37,570 gross and shit? 265 00:38:37,950 --> 00:38:39,150 Yeah, would you, soppy? 266 00:38:40,810 --> 00:38:42,090 I still feel bad. 267 00:38:42,430 --> 00:38:46,470 You know, you can't just go around killing innocent cows just because 268 00:38:46,470 --> 00:38:47,470 different. 269 00:38:48,270 --> 00:38:49,710 How could you not want to bite this? 270 00:38:51,630 --> 00:38:52,970 You just don't feel bad? 271 00:38:54,170 --> 00:38:55,170 Like at all? 272 00:38:56,090 --> 00:38:57,790 It's not as hard as three tongues. 273 00:38:58,810 --> 00:39:00,530 Chill, stop. You're a spouser. 274 00:39:01,190 --> 00:39:02,790 I'm not. You're not. 275 00:39:03,130 --> 00:39:04,750 It's not as hard as three tongues. 276 00:39:06,910 --> 00:39:09,550 You have two seconds to wipe that smile off your face! 277 00:39:09,910 --> 00:39:11,290 Two! Ten seconds. 278 00:39:12,210 --> 00:39:13,650 Can you be more specific? 279 00:39:13,910 --> 00:39:15,370 Can you be more specific? 280 00:39:15,910 --> 00:39:16,910 Yeah, I'll... 281 00:39:26,559 --> 00:39:28,240 Where you going? 282 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:30,880 To the bathroom. 283 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,640 Yo, Eli, what's up? 284 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:31,060 Um, how long do you think we've been in here for? 285 00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:32,900 Gelatin. 286 00:40:33,820 --> 00:40:37,780 What? You mix it in with foundation makeup and pour it in a silicone mold. 287 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,620 Then you paint more detail and do the blood last. 288 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:43,560 What are you talking about? 289 00:40:44,180 --> 00:40:45,180 What else? 290 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:46,560 For the trick. 291 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:52,920 Oh! Yeah. Frankly, for the blood, it's important you don't buy the sore stuff. 292 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,960 Either make it with corn syrup and food coloring, or save yourself some next 293 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:57,960 time you cut yourself. 294 00:40:59,100 --> 00:41:00,100 You do that? 295 00:41:00,420 --> 00:41:03,160 Yeah. You just put the corn syrup in a bowl and add the food coloring. 296 00:41:03,910 --> 00:41:06,730 Sometimes I like to add a bit of water, just so it's not too viscous. 297 00:41:07,230 --> 00:41:10,350 Uh, no, you... you cut yourself? 298 00:41:11,290 --> 00:41:12,290 Tiny prick. 299 00:41:12,890 --> 00:41:15,050 It's soothing, like I found that. Look. 300 00:41:20,750 --> 00:41:21,790 You shouldn't do that. 301 00:41:22,010 --> 00:41:23,010 Why? 302 00:41:23,490 --> 00:41:24,490 Because it's bad. 303 00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,860 Sometimes I dig my nail into my thumb to bleed. 304 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:42,920 You're not from here, right? 305 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:56,980 Um... My mom met some guy at a media summit, 306 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,160 Phil. 307 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,680 Um... And they had an affair. 308 00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:06,000 And she left my dad. 309 00:42:07,220 --> 00:42:08,620 I used to live in Boston. 310 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:14,560 So basically, we just, like, uprooted. 311 00:42:16,460 --> 00:42:21,240 So it's been kind of weird. 312 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:34,800 Do you like your mom? 313 00:42:36,460 --> 00:42:37,460 She's my mom. 314 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:41,400 Do you ever think about the fact that at some point in your life she had to give 315 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:42,440 head for the first time? 316 00:42:42,700 --> 00:42:43,700 Ew, no. 317 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:45,160 Who are you? 318 00:42:45,420 --> 00:42:48,440 We want it. We need it. We must have the process. 319 00:42:48,700 --> 00:42:50,300 They stole it from us. 320 00:42:50,620 --> 00:42:51,620 Holy shit. 321 00:42:52,460 --> 00:42:54,320 What's the tricksy hobbit's field? 322 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,020 Open fat hobbit's head. 323 00:43:06,279 --> 00:43:10,660 Would you rather fuck a dog and no one ever knows about it, or not fuck a dog 324 00:43:10,660 --> 00:43:12,080 but everyone thinks you fucked a dog? 325 00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:15,080 Fuck a dog? 326 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:16,500 I think? 327 00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:18,480 That's evil. 328 00:43:35,660 --> 00:43:38,800 Hey, uh, you talked to a doctor, right? 329 00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:42,840 They gave me this cream, but I think it might be making it worse. 330 00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:04,060 Um... Do you need a hand, or...? 331 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:09,680 I don't want to infect you. 332 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:13,920 What do you mean? 333 00:44:15,420 --> 00:44:16,420 With the plague. 334 00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,940 You don't actually believe in that, do you? 335 00:45:18,190 --> 00:45:19,190 Thank you. 336 00:46:17,339 --> 00:46:20,140 Thank you. 337 00:46:25,900 --> 00:46:27,040 Thank you. 338 00:46:59,340 --> 00:47:01,660 Okay, you can stop. 339 00:48:21,060 --> 00:48:22,060 Like, 340 00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,080 not even a thing. 341 00:48:24,720 --> 00:48:27,240 He said you gave Eli a back rub. 342 00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:35,460 Yeah, I don't... That's totally untrue, so... He said he used scented oils or 343 00:48:35,460 --> 00:48:37,500 something, like lavender. 344 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,440 You know the plague is fake, right? 345 00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:46,260 Yeah. 346 00:48:46,860 --> 00:48:47,860 It is done. 347 00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:55,240 You forgot your goggles. 348 00:49:20,780 --> 00:49:21,800 I don't have the plague. 349 00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:25,080 Well, you told everyone I have the plague. 350 00:49:26,260 --> 00:49:27,260 No, I didn't. 351 00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:28,680 Yes, you did. I know you did. 352 00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:30,560 Provided the dots. 353 00:49:30,660 --> 00:49:32,080 I can't help with others. Connect them. 354 00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:33,760 The dots? 355 00:49:34,740 --> 00:49:38,640 Giving Eli a back rub? It's not... It wasn't a back rub. 356 00:49:39,900 --> 00:49:40,900 Okay. 357 00:49:43,860 --> 00:49:47,660 How would you feel if I told everyone your mom's like a stripper? 358 00:49:49,460 --> 00:49:51,110 Confused? Confused? 359 00:49:51,790 --> 00:49:52,790 I feel. 360 00:49:53,850 --> 00:49:55,550 Really fucking confused. 361 00:49:57,670 --> 00:49:58,670 Why? 362 00:50:00,110 --> 00:50:01,510 My mom is dead. 363 00:50:03,810 --> 00:50:04,950 It's not funny. 364 00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:07,910 I'm not joking. 365 00:50:12,850 --> 00:50:14,310 There's nothing wrong with me. 366 00:50:14,610 --> 00:50:15,610 Okay. 367 00:50:17,110 --> 00:50:18,430 The plague is fake. 368 00:50:24,180 --> 00:50:30,340 Okay. Can you please tell everyone that I'm, like, good? 369 00:50:30,700 --> 00:50:31,860 I thought you said it's fake. 370 00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:33,200 I mean, it is. 371 00:50:33,980 --> 00:50:34,980 Right? 372 00:50:35,580 --> 00:50:36,740 Maybe you don't have it. 373 00:50:37,140 --> 00:50:38,560 Did you wash your hands after? 374 00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,380 After what? The back rub. 375 00:50:40,780 --> 00:50:42,220 It wasn't a back rub. 376 00:50:42,900 --> 00:50:44,340 You need to help with this rash cream. 377 00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,080 Okay. 378 00:50:48,580 --> 00:50:49,960 Why are you doing this to me? 379 00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:51,880 Doing what? 380 00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:54,480 Telling everyone that I have to play. 381 00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,500 Don't let what other people think decide who you are. 382 00:50:58,740 --> 00:51:00,740 What is that, like a fortune cookie? 383 00:51:01,660 --> 00:51:02,660 Dennis Rodman. 384 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,140 Well, I washed my hands twice. 385 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,560 That means I don't have it, right? 386 00:51:22,350 --> 00:51:23,350 open anything. 387 00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:05,400 Some tasty morsels. 388 00:53:06,660 --> 00:53:08,220 Got fries there, hot dog. 389 00:53:08,780 --> 00:53:09,780 Skittles. 390 00:53:10,300 --> 00:53:11,300 Gummy bears. 391 00:53:12,720 --> 00:53:13,720 Thanks. 392 00:53:17,300 --> 00:53:23,380 This kid, Nixon Segali, he put laxatives in my thermos before our trip to New 393 00:53:23,380 --> 00:53:24,420 York to see Les Mis. 394 00:53:25,240 --> 00:53:29,640 And the bus didn't have any bathrooms, so... Yeah. 395 00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:32,240 My mom had to come pick me up. 396 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,160 It sucks because I actually really like what I'm in. 397 00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:41,880 Yeah. 398 00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:44,280 Exactly. 399 00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,820 At least me and Logan have girls. 400 00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:49,720 No. You guys don't have girls. 401 00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:55,680 All right, well, either you can get going. I think it's like Margaret. 402 00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:41,560 Motor skills? 403 00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:43,120 Gone. 404 00:55:09,649 --> 00:55:10,649 What do you think? 405 00:55:10,950 --> 00:55:13,130 That's actually a great question. Where the fuck is Dobby? 406 00:55:16,790 --> 00:55:19,590 Maybe he's giving them some back time. 407 00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:27,500 Yeah, yeah, I I was just wondering If 408 00:58:27,500 --> 00:58:32,560 you could just pick me up 409 00:58:58,350 --> 00:59:01,470 Hey, you know what my favorite day of high school was? 410 00:59:03,470 --> 00:59:04,630 Very last day. 411 00:59:07,170 --> 00:59:08,170 Hated it. 412 00:59:08,410 --> 00:59:11,630 Yeah, had a nickname. It was Chubbs. 413 00:59:12,450 --> 00:59:19,430 I hadn't even been overweight since middle school, but the name followed me. 414 00:59:19,430 --> 00:59:23,270 then, you know, it was stuck in my head. And then, you know what? 415 00:59:24,330 --> 00:59:25,350 I graduated. 416 00:59:27,340 --> 00:59:30,900 And I left it all behind, and I started fresh. 417 00:59:32,660 --> 00:59:33,660 See? 418 00:59:36,500 --> 00:59:39,360 So, your 20s were good? 419 00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:47,460 Uh, no, no. I mean, I had my heart broken, and then, you 420 00:59:47,460 --> 00:59:51,820 know, I gained some more weight, 30 pounds, and then, oh, then... 421 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:57,260 I put my back out, just literally reaching for a set of keys, and the 422 00:59:57,260 --> 00:59:59,220 said I was never going to, you know, recover. 423 00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:04,760 But even still, yes, it was way better than my teens. 424 01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:10,660 Than my 30s, better than my 20s, and now, I mean, look at me now. 425 01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:12,360 Right? 426 01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:13,880 40, 40. 427 01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:21,780 And your teens were better than... 428 01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,620 Like, your first decade? 429 01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:26,160 Hell no. 430 01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:28,980 I mean, that time is just pure bliss. 431 01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:31,680 I mean, nothing better than that. 432 01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:37,700 This is like the most depressing pep talk ever. 433 01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:42,120 Look, just... be yourself, because... 434 01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:46,300 Ben, what else are you gonna be? 435 01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:50,240 You're you. It's cool. 436 01:00:51,100 --> 01:00:52,800 Just be yourself, man. 437 01:00:56,390 --> 01:00:57,830 workout. No, it's a cliche. 438 01:01:04,490 --> 01:01:06,130 I don't know if that helps. 439 01:01:09,590 --> 01:01:10,590 Anyway. 440 01:01:11,310 --> 01:01:13,030 My mom didn't yell at you, right? 441 01:01:13,950 --> 01:01:15,810 She is disconcerned, that's all. 442 01:01:16,730 --> 01:01:18,190 You really scared her. 443 01:01:19,530 --> 01:01:20,570 It's okay to cry. 444 01:01:20,830 --> 01:01:21,830 Just let it out. 445 01:01:22,790 --> 01:01:23,790 Let it out. 446 01:01:24,010 --> 01:01:25,010 It's cool. 447 01:01:33,130 --> 01:01:36,550 She just doesn't know how to, like, be a person. 448 01:01:41,110 --> 01:01:42,890 Someone giving you a hard time, Ben. 449 01:01:47,450 --> 01:01:50,110 Because if they are, you just got to tell me. 450 01:01:50,830 --> 01:01:52,590 Because your silence is helping no one. 451 01:01:53,750 --> 01:01:54,750 Especially not you. 452 01:01:58,810 --> 01:01:59,810 Is it Jake? 453 01:02:00,770 --> 01:02:01,990 What? No. No. 454 01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:03,600 Not why. 455 01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:07,120 Okay. 456 01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:18,340 Listen, guys like Jake, they're just scared. 457 01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:22,380 They're terrified of guys like Eli because he's different. 458 01:02:24,180 --> 01:02:25,240 You want to know a secret? 459 01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:27,120 We're all different. 460 01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:28,320 All of us. 461 01:02:29,710 --> 01:02:33,450 I haven't even thought about the guys that call me chubs until, like, right 462 01:02:33,610 --> 01:02:38,670 In fact, right now, they're probably sitting on a couch. Guess what? 463 01:02:39,930 --> 01:02:40,950 Super chubby. 464 01:03:02,030 --> 01:03:03,030 What do you say? 465 01:03:05,390 --> 01:03:06,390 Want to take me home? 466 01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:34,890 I didn't agree. 467 01:03:35,150 --> 01:03:37,050 Exactly. Why did you just say it? 468 01:04:17,130 --> 01:04:20,970 What's in their bed? 469 01:04:21,630 --> 01:04:25,350 They have this, like, big bathtub. It's like a waterfall style. 470 01:04:26,150 --> 01:04:29,950 Just slide in the butt tube, pop your legs up. 471 01:04:30,670 --> 01:04:31,670 Yo, 472 01:04:32,150 --> 01:04:36,790 my uncle has a hot tub in the jets. They're amazing. 473 01:04:37,350 --> 01:04:38,990 He gets it. 474 01:04:49,550 --> 01:04:50,850 You ever been to Mongolian Grill? 475 01:04:53,130 --> 01:04:58,190 It's insane, like I got some meat cleavers. It's like... How are you doing 476 01:04:58,190 --> 01:04:59,190 today, ma 'am? 477 01:05:03,130 --> 01:05:04,470 I've always wanted to start a restaurant. 478 01:05:04,930 --> 01:05:05,930 Wait. 479 01:05:06,690 --> 01:05:11,030 Maybe, instead of being seated at a booth, you're brought to your own 480 01:05:11,030 --> 01:05:14,870 sauna and it's like... Good morning, folks. Welcome to Steaming Sizzle. Can I 481 01:05:14,870 --> 01:05:15,870 take your order? 482 01:05:16,090 --> 01:05:17,390 Open 24 -7. 483 01:05:31,630 --> 01:05:38,410 Do you ever think, like, maybe the plague isn't 484 01:05:38,410 --> 01:05:40,250 100 % fake? 485 01:05:56,170 --> 01:05:57,170 Never mind. 486 01:05:57,730 --> 01:05:58,950 That was a dumb question. 487 01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:05,000 I think there's something wrong with me. 488 01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:10,000 What do you mean? 489 01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:15,080 I don't know. 490 01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:17,160 I just feel something's wrong. 491 01:06:23,700 --> 01:06:28,360 Yeah, but... But that's... It's a feeling. 492 01:06:29,140 --> 01:06:30,140 Right? 493 01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:32,160 I get it. 494 01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:34,740 It's not actually real. 495 01:07:24,430 --> 01:07:25,430 Stop me. 496 01:07:27,930 --> 01:07:28,930 Hey, what's up? 497 01:07:34,190 --> 01:07:35,250 Talk to Daddy Wags. 498 01:07:37,410 --> 01:07:39,730 Just want to say if I've been a dick or anything, you know, I'm sorry. 499 01:07:41,550 --> 01:07:42,550 What? No. 500 01:07:42,610 --> 01:07:43,610 No, no, no, no, no. 501 01:07:44,170 --> 01:07:46,870 I have an older brother. I'm just used to being around his friends, and we just 502 01:07:46,870 --> 01:07:49,330 give each other shit all the time. Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking 503 01:07:49,330 --> 01:07:50,330 about. 504 01:07:52,770 --> 01:07:53,770 Really? 505 01:07:55,690 --> 01:08:01,470 Well, you know, I saw them talking to you, but what happened? 506 01:08:01,730 --> 01:08:07,710 You know, I got the big old lecture on bullying and stuff, but... So dumb. 507 01:08:08,550 --> 01:08:09,730 What is this, kindergarten? 508 01:08:15,130 --> 01:08:21,090 You know, maybe Eli said something. 509 01:08:23,330 --> 01:08:24,330 You think? 510 01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:35,000 Yeah. Maybe. 511 01:08:35,859 --> 01:08:36,859 Maybe. 512 01:08:37,020 --> 01:08:38,600 I guess I'll see you later. Yeah. 513 01:14:03,020 --> 01:14:06,900 Would you rather not hike for 48 hours or spend the day with money? 514 01:14:40,650 --> 01:14:44,050 If you drink water 515 01:18:03,790 --> 01:18:07,070 You don't know a fucking jack shit about water polo, bitch. 516 01:18:51,400 --> 01:18:57,200 okay great get out come on come 517 01:18:57,200 --> 01:19:00,360 on get out 518 01:19:00,360 --> 01:19:06,920 huh what do you think 519 01:21:45,900 --> 01:21:48,720 Hey, whoever gets a handjob first gets ten thousand. 520 01:22:00,800 --> 01:22:04,460 That's the flag at the peak of its shape. 521 01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:50,060 Eli. What's that? 522 01:22:50,680 --> 01:22:51,680 What are you doing? 523 01:22:54,660 --> 01:22:57,660 Eli, what are you doing? 524 01:22:58,220 --> 01:23:03,080 Ben, I am dancing. No, Eli, you're not dancing because you have no one to dance 525 01:23:03,080 --> 01:23:04,080 with. Yes, I do. 526 01:23:04,260 --> 01:23:05,360 I'm dancing with Boopy. 527 01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:07,520 He doesn't care about the plague. 528 01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:09,400 Right, Boopy? 529 01:23:10,380 --> 01:23:11,380 Hey! 530 01:23:20,330 --> 01:23:21,330 Why'd you do that? 531 01:23:50,120 --> 01:23:51,120 No, no, no, Rod. 532 01:23:52,200 --> 01:23:56,720 You think that you can be yourself and not give a shit what anyone thinks. 533 01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:02,160 But that only works when yourself is the kind of person other people want to be 534 01:24:02,160 --> 01:24:03,160 around. 535 01:24:03,580 --> 01:24:06,340 Eli, no one wants to be around you. 536 01:24:06,740 --> 01:24:07,740 No one! 537 01:24:22,410 --> 01:24:26,450 to grow the up and realize it's time to start behaving like an actual human 538 01:24:26,450 --> 01:24:28,110 being or you're just gonna 539 01:25:23,660 --> 01:25:24,660 You left? 540 01:25:24,980 --> 01:25:25,980 It's not funny. 541 01:26:07,790 --> 01:26:08,850 Thanks. 542 01:29:25,550 --> 01:29:26,550 Did you? 543 01:29:55,980 --> 01:29:59,660 Take me away, take me away, take me away 544 01:30:37,010 --> 01:30:38,550 Get the dog to your chair. 35843

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