Original subtitles

Ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Dragon Art Theater.

Before the program starts this evening, however, a word of warning and caution.

The films you are about to see are adult motion pictures rated X.

If you do not understand what an adult motion picture is, or if you would be

offended by frank and intimate scenes, then we urge you not to view these

pictures.

If these kind of scenes and films would offend you, then we urge you not to

purchase a ticket to the Dragon Art Theater.

However, if you, like many of our friends and customers, enjoy the very

in adult motion pictures, you will find them shown weekly at the Dragon Art

Theater.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, what you are about to witness here at the theater in the

next hour will undoubtedly become indelible in your memory forever.

You are about to see one of the strangest phenomenons of our century.

It is a legend come true.

It is the legend of the mysterious and elusive animalistic type of creature

known as the Sasquatch.

Part man, but mostly beef.

Some scientists believe that the ancient Neanderthal man was the putter of our

present civilization.

Yet others insist that the Sasquatch, otherwise known as the Geek,

is ancient man.

A mutation, perhaps, but nevertheless ancient man.

In the wilds of the Himalayan mountains,

there are tales of a mammoth being known as the Abominable Snowman.

In the similarly wild virgin territories of the North American continent, there

exists its counterpart, a huge, shambling monster covered with coarse,

black, matted hair.

As cunning and elusive, he is as dangerous to man as the giant grizzly.

In the state of Oregon, for instance,

It is not unusual for someone to wander into the forest, never to be heard of

again.

Strange sightings of a creature of unbelievable proportions have been

in these areas.

The skeletal remains of a hunter were found recently by a rescue party

for a missing plane.

The arms were torn from their sockets.

The hunter's rifle was found nearby.

snapped in half like a thin twig.

This grim reminder stirs man to wonder, are we really the masters of the earth

that we think we are?

Our crew is weary from the long hike.

We have had to leave our trucks down in the valley and carry our equipment on

our backs for the last 30 miles.

Here you see our crew preparing to make camp.

We will rest the remainder of the day and tomorrow morning hike further into

forest in quest of our quarry.

Each member of our expedition has been carefully handpicked to think and work

together as a single unit.

Our prime concern is to locate and photograph the geek.

This is a team effort, and we are all pledged to share and share alike our

and our water, everything, including our women.

Here we see John and Valerie preparing their sleeping quarters.

They are a very capable husband and wife team.

And, I might add, newlyweds.

Hey, that's not a lot of water so far, huh?

Just under that tree.

I want to make love.

Hey, sounds great.

Oh darling, what a wonderful way to spend the honeymoon.

Making love, of course.

Let me take my pants off.

Oh, honey.

You're a little too high.

Move down a bit.

We better get back before they come looking for us.

Let's do it again later, baby. All right?

All night long, baby.

I think we can have better luck if we move further east.

This area is uncharted.

Remember, we'll just have to take pot luck.

Well, that's about it, kids. I suggest we get a good night's sleep and an early

start in the morning.

Yeah, okay. See you in the morning. See you in the morning. Bye.

How would you like to come on over to my tent?

I've got a bottle.

Is that all I get is a drink?

Well, I've got an Italian salami.

Talking into it.

Would you like a martini or a mint fuel to cool you? To cool me?

You look like you need cooling, not me.

Yeah.

Okay, Danny.

Ooh, funny.

Cheers. Cheers.

Getting it all over me.

Down kind of hard, isn't it?

I'm going to take off my pants.

I'll help you.

Thank you.

Was that a good piece of half?

Oh, your best piece I ever had.

Of course, you're the only one.

You mean to tell me you're a virgin?

Well, the closest I ever came was when my sister let me feel her breasts.

But I wanted to have an affair with her.

I felt bad about it because she was my sister.

Did she have an affair with somebody else?

Well, she must have because she ran off and got married a week later. She was

only 15.

Well, don't you worry about it.

From now on, I'm going to take good care of this.

Let's break together like this.

Right.

I don't know, just keep your eyes open. There's something going on.

I don't know, they might be a bunch of idiots.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, I mean, we're out here striking.

Phil, Val, God damn.

Oh, look at that.

Must be the... Must be big.

His home must be up there.

Wow. Wow.

That has to be the Sasquatch. God damn, look at that thing.

This has to be the home of the Sasquatch.

Well, I have a hunch that whoever or whatever made that print isn't far from

here. So we'll take our cameras up to the top of the ridge there, set them up

where we'll see it.

Johnny, look to your right.

I'm going to be bumping into campers first, Clark.

So people, get up that hill and get set up.

It would be wonderful.

Walk slower.

Don't spin them, okay?

Come on.

That beast used to be an ugly thing to me.

It's not a terrible thing.

It's all right. Come on.

Go back to camp. Come on.

Did you get it on film? Every foot.

There he is, Kiss.

Scram!

Someday I'm gonna get that filthy animal.