Original subtitles

Christ on a two-headed dog. Is that the time?

Dodger?

Dodger!

Where the bloody hell's dodger?

Dunno. He didn't come home last night.

Fancy skirt.

If I had a quid for every time

that girl snags up the vital business of crime...

You reach me them boots and get me a crumpet before I start...

Spewing violent implications.

No.

What do you mean, no?

I don't pay you to say no.

You don't pay me at all.

Me and flashy haven't had a coin in a month.

Aputi.

You slice the liver from me bone. I am building an empire.

There's always a clogged shigs pipe at the start!

Sorry, fagin, but flashy and I can't live on promises.

No pay, no work.

We formed a union.

Tofa, fagin.

Dodger!

Come on, mr buck.

Come on. What happened, Hetty?

After surgery, he started losing consciousness.

Now, his pulse is thready.

He must be bleeding. Tim, help me turn him.

Ready? One, two, three.

No, the surgical wound looks clear.

- Must be bleeding internally. - Can we reopen?

No, it's too late.

Syringe.

- Now. - Stay with us, mr buck.

Stay with us.

He's stopped breathing.

Come on!

Mr buck?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, come on.

Jack, he's gone.

You all right?

No.

No, I'm sorry.

It's this damned internal bleeding.

See, we fix these things and then...

They bleed out...

internally, where I can't see them, where I can't get to them in time and I...

I'm terrified, Tim.

What if the ligation around belle's aorta fails?

Come on.

There's something I've been working on.

Phineas?

What?

This is the third morning you've woken me with your constant pacing!

Sorry.

- Can't sleep. - Neither can I.

All your thumping about gives me nightmares of ghosts

breaking out of coffins.

- Fanny, what are you eating before bed? - Doesn't matter, just stop.

I can't stand not being in the hospital.

- I'm wasting my time. - Well, waste it more quietly.

Forgive me.

Fanny, are you all right?

No.

Because I killed him.

Tell the French consul to attend at 10:00,

the colonial architect at 11:00.

My husband wants the trade reports by 4:00,

and for the love of goodness, I thought he told the Belgians to desist.

Reiterate it less politely.

Yes, milady.

There you are. You're very busy before the house wakes.

Always fluttering about with government papers.

I don't flutter, I govern.

And yet,

you are not the governor of port victory, are you?

My brother is.

Our marriage is not your concern.

But it is.

You see, no matter what you think of me,

I'm still an influential man in westminster.

Did being dismissed from your last three posts achieve that?

The fortunes of great men ebb and flow.

How would you know?

You should be kinder to me, janey,

because I could tell the secretary of state

that a woman is running port victory.

Or trying to.

I suppose you're angling for Edmund's position.

Broke again?

I'm not here for money.

I want to get to know the girls.

Particularly belle.

And I want to spend more time with you.

It's called a galvanocautery.

Beats using a red-hot poker to stop the bleeding.

That is magnificent, Tim.

I could cauterise even the smallest veins with this.

Could have saved mr buck, maybe.

Could have done a better job with belle's surgery.

You did a good job. She's fine.

Yeah, for now.

Look.

Belle's strong, and you stitched her up good, Jack.

Thank you.

Come on then, show me how this works.

Tremendous! Kippers. They always lighten the spirits.

Allow me to lighten them further.

Janey here has just invited me to stay for the year.

- I absolutely... - woof!

Woof woof!

Thank you, darling.

What a shame Phineas isn't here to share in the moment.

Er, can we not talk of Phineas?

Yes, poor show of him to disappear in such a hurry.

Yes, selfish, really, but I seek to be the opposite.

So I thought I might assist you

with some of the more complex matters of state, edmundian.

Tremendous idea.

It saves janey from all the paperwork.

I mean, she's tireless, beavering away at the little details

while I set the grand strategy.

Little details?

Well, in a manner of speaking.

You'll get them all fishy, darling.

Well, I'm sure you don't need my assistance with the little details

if Dickie's helping you.

I'll be in my garden.

Steady on.

What about... whatever's happening today?

The sewers by devil's elbow don't work

because your grand strategy approved the wrong plans last year.

And you've an audience with the French consul,

who want you to shift to the metric system.

- God, I can't stand the French. - No.

Good. Then you'll enjoy the opening of the French cultural exchange

with the port victory metrological society,

where the much-vaunted metre of platinum is on display.

His excellency, the French consul.

Just in time. Have a lovely day.

Mesdames, messieurs.

It is a product of rationalism,

enlightenment.

The greatest advances of revolutionary France.

Once you stopped killing chaps.

A precious bar of platinum,

precisely calculated

to one-ten millionth of the distance between the equator and the north pole.

Le mètre.

No, but the imperial system's solid, sensible.

British.

Based on...

something to do with ploughing.

Roods, isn't it?

It is based off the... Little stick...

Which burned in the fire.

And now, you have a new little stick.

But you could have platinum,

the hardest metal in the world.

No, it's not something to bother Whitehall with.

The French government can't produce anything more than lechery and chaos.

Although your fizzy grape juice is quite good.

Granted.

It's close.

We need a stable, heated electrode.

I'm not sure what metal works best yet.

Copper's not holding the current.

But when we find a metal that does...

we'll stop internal bleeding before it even starts.

Come on, let's go again.

Have you tried any other metals?

Iron. Brass.

But maybe a heavier metal will hold the current.

No scratching.

You hear me?

Hello. I'm lady belle.

No.

I can assure you I am.

Yeah, you're not wanted.

No, I'm medically trained. I could...

hands up, anyone, if this one's father had hung someone you know.

Now, piss off, Princess.

You're doing more harm than good.

Flashy! How you been? You well?

- Sorry, fagin, can't talk. - Yes, I know, the union.

Listen. I've got cash coming in today and I can pay your wages.

And there's toffs down the bagpipes just waiting to be plucked.

You mean those toffs?

Wait there.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, where are you going?

You ain't even seen me glorious maps yet.

Lady Fanny said you were serious,

but we're told there's no fagin & son land office

and no bloody land!

Who told you that?

The woman in the pub.

Rotty!

You moth-eaten coat of a woman!

Rotty!

My bloody investors.

My bloody pub!

This ain't your office, fagin.

I pay for the rent, booze,

and the girls you're using to woo them toffs.

I'll grow another head before you've paid the tab.

- I'll... - I'll pay you. - All right.

Forty-seven pound.

Yeah... soon.

If you ain't got the cash, I need a share. Now.

You cut me into that land scam, or scuttle off.

Has nobody got any vision?

- All right, five percent. - Fifty.

Don't make me cackle!

All right, we'll compromise.

Forty-nine.

Rotty!

Rotty!

Another bloody alibi.

It was never going to be the butcher.

The wound pattern's wrong.

I seem to have questioned everybody, we're no closer to a firm case on Dawkins.

Sneed and nurse baggett are accounted for, the professor has delirium...

what about lady belle, sir?

What about her?

She's surgically trained. Hangs about with criminals.

No.

Don't get carried away by your feelings...

my what, sergeant?

Your faith in people, sir.

I believe innate goodness rests in people until proven otherwise.

Especially her.

I think we've all got snakes in our souls... even her.

Inspector boxer.

Another woman's body, same wounds.

And same blue stitching.

- Where? - Sir.

- Twenty-six percent. - Thirty percent.

- Twenty-eight percent. - Twenty-nine percent!

You'd make a stuffed bird laugh!

Well, you best get your crumpets and vinegar elsewhere.

I'm here to see mr fagin.

That's not a Brandy glass.

That's not Brandy.

Good god!

It's piratically vile!

I'll... tell rotty. She'll appreciate that.

How can I help?

Well, I didn't know who else to talk to...

About being a...

M-u-r-d-e-r-e-r.

A murderer?

- Don't worry about that. - Don't worry?

Each moment, I expect to be arrested, hanged or haunted.

- I'm a walking outcast from society. - Yeah, all that's true.

Well, that's hardly comforting.

No, but it is, you see, because...

You've got a new society now.

We accept all sorts around here. Cutpurses, swindlers, murderers.

Even toffs, if they're good sorts, which you are.

What?

Aside from being decent company for a toff,

you are a criminal of a natural talent I ain't seen since dodger was a lad.

Really?

Lot of respect for you down here at the cat and bag.

They're not...

Going to find his body, are they?

Don't fret your eyelids.

No one finds a thing once norbert fagin has disappeared it.

Mr fagin!

Thank you!

It's just what I do.

Would it be helpful for you to know about a metre-long bar of platinum?

Very helpful indeed, milady.

- Sorry. - Milady, can I walk with you?

I can't very well stop you.

Milady, we found another woman's body in these slums.

My god.

So, I really must insist you stay out of devil's elbow.

Inspector, I'm the governor's daughter. Nobody insists with me.

- Forgive me for saying, but... - you don't need to apologise so much.

I promise I'm hard to offend.

Civility is simply my way.

Hiding your grief?

Your deductive mind is remarkable.

- For a woman? - I didn't say that.

If my sergeant had half your skill, I'd be much closer to finding my culprit.

Well then, who do you suspect?

If you're allowed to say.

The killer is surgically trained, but perhaps not a doctor.

Cunning.

Able to mask their tracks with the crowds churning the muddy roads.

And obsessive.

Aren't we all?

Forgive my boldness...

But may I call on you again?

People with minds like ours are lonely, I think.

I am.

But around you, I feel in company.

Please forget I mentioned anything.

My life is complex.

As is mine.

But if you ever wish to share in our complexities, please know...

How very much I admire you.

I can't stop my patients from bleeding out internally.

Well, start by not hacking them open.

Here.

I've got a bone to pick with you.

You're me convict servant,

and you ain't brought me breakfast in three days.

I'm so sorry, fagin.

See, I've been a little bit busy trying to save lives.

Can you give us a shilling for some food? I'm starving.

When your hobby pays, I'll respect it.

Till then, we've got real work to do.

Our family business has got no shigs, no staff...

No investors.

That's not much of a business then, is it?

Stop being so pernickety.

Look, I don't want you getting any long-term ideas

about this fagin & son thing.

I'm only doing this to get free,

and to get enough shigs to set me and belle up.

Well, I'm in it to help you.

Also, I like robbing people together, so forgive me if that's a sin.

Well, that is.

Can we talk about this later? I... I haven't slept in two days.

I am tired, I need a rest, I need a wash, and I need some food.

You won't want to get your meat hooks on a metre of platinum, then?

A metre of what?

Platinum.

Worth more than gold. Heaviest metal in the world.

That's exactly what Tim and I need.

Yeah, well, Tim can have a share if he helps.

- Where's this platinum? - Very nearly in our hands.

It's at the French consul's knees-up

for the measurement toffs at the blue dragon.

Normally, nicking it from there

would be as tricky as trying to peel a parrot with a spoon,

but I've got a new recruit and one with a key to every lock in town.

Lady Fanny.

No.

No, no, no, I'm not having you rope in lady belle's little sister

in your life of crime.

It's too late.

It's her idea and she's keen as a bucket of mustard.

Yes.

So are we bagging a glittery bar of plum metal or not?

- What's your plan? - Bread.

- Bread? - Bread.

- Over here! - Excuse me.

Hello?

- Why are you following me? - Please...

I don't mean you any harm. I just...

I saw you in pain and want to help.

Orla. Steady on.

Sorry, your majesty.

Is the pain in your back?

Stomach?

- Spine? - Old man at the hospital says,

I got women's issues, but... the pain's worse.

May I examine you?

She won't hurt ya.

Expansive mass in the upper gastro.

Blood's rushing wrong.

What is it? Is it serious?

Yes, it's critical.

You have an aortic aneurysm.

Different words, Princess.

The blood is stuck here, and it's pushing out your aorta, right?

Soon it'll burst.

- You need surgery. - No, I'm not being cut.

- It's the only way to fix it. - And how do you know it's going to work?

Because they did it to me, right?

And I invented the surgery that saved me.

Alinta?

It's okay, my girl.

I know you're scared, and I understand.

But I really don't think you have much choice.

Be brave.

It hurts when you pass water?

- How'd you know? - Wild guess,

- based on every other sailor here. - Nurse baggett.

What are you doing here, milady? It's forbidden.

I need Jack, and it's urgent.

But you won't pay the price for consorting if we're discovered. I will. Jack will.

- Milady... - please.

She has an aortic aneurysm.

You know sneed will turn her away.

Yes.

Thank you.

Right, every man with a problematic nether region, that way to dr sneed.

Okay, that's me. Come along, men.

Find dr Dawkins immediately.

What's all this?

I am not having these pestilent sailors waggle their todgers at my girls.

- There must be 20 men here. - Good luck!

Hetty. Really?

- Delightful. - How long's this gonna take?

Gosh, this is great.

Yes, yes, well, they always are.

- Chin. - Chin.

It's wondrously shiny.

Mesdames et messieurs...

It is my obligation to allow the governor to...

Inaugurate this cultural exchange

between the port victory metrological society

and la république of France.

My remarks.

What remarks?

Janey writes them for me and pops them in my pocket.

Just make it up.

I'm not good at making it up!

Hello.

Or bonjour, as they say.

It is I, your gouverneur.

So to speak.

- Where's Jack? - I can't find him.

I need him now.

She's getting worse.

With her pain levels, she's close to aortic rupture.

- We need to do it ourselves. - Milady, that's madness.

I've been on that table. We have to act now to give her any chance.

No more time. She's rupturing!

Orla?

We'll get you on the table now.

Lady belle, if they find us in here... Orla.

I'll block the door.

This is nurse baggett. We're going to be operating today.

All right. Lay you down now.

We're going to give you ether to take the pain.

Orla, look, I know you're frightened, but I promise you I will fix your ailment.

You're all right, you won't feel a thing.

- Ready? - Proceed.

You're sure about this?

If we don't do this, she will die.

Are you sure Fanny's ready for this, fagin?

'Cause this whole ridiculous scheme of yours relies on her coming through.

Don't fret. Fanny's sound as a bell. I can feel it in me earlobes.

Well, that is a relief.

Also, you do realise that platinum is bloody heavy.

Shut your jam-hole, dodge!

I was nicking precious metals before you could squall for milk.

Are you sure you want this bloody platinum or not?

If we get noosed for this,

I will personally shove you off the gallows first.

The secret to growing good marrows is to simply give them enough manure.

What is it in French?

- Merde. - Merde. Thank you.

Yes. People don't devote enough time to it...

but I didn't win the 374th shropshire agricultural show

with under-manured marrows.

Nor without a way to measure their size.

Which is why I so admire the... dear.

- Dear. - Whatever the... watch yourself.

Bloody hell!

- Bonjour, bonjour, messieurs et mesdames. - Jesus, child in heaven.

- God, what is this tradesman doing here? - No, father, that's dear mr fagin.

No, no, it's all right, Dickie. Mr fagin's coarse but sound.

Merci, merci.

Now, wounded as I was, not to be invited

as a proprietor of fagin & son land company,

and a great admirer of all things metrical,

I would like to express my jubilose appreciation

for the French people with this customary gift of breads.

So, who's peckish?

I'll have some mr fagin. It looks lovely.

- Ladies first. - Yes!

- There you go. - Sir,

I really must ask you to leave...

boney petite, yes, yes. Pardon...

pardonnez-moi. I'll get that.

Hold on, let me get that.

- Dear! - Excuse me. Sorry...

A wrinkle in the proceedings...

I'm so sorry. Tim, will you...

- Sorry, he's a little drunk. - Take care, Fanny.

I must insist that you leave this place at once.

- It's all right... - leave...

don't get yourself in a flap. There's no harm meant or done.

I'm just trying to help celebrate this glorious occasion.

It's like my old grandmother used to say.

There's no use crying when you've spilt a lot of gorgeous bread

all over the floor.

- Please... - a remarkable woman.

She had all her own teeth, not in her mouth, obviously.

- She kept them in a tin in the attic. - Right, uncle.

- Come on. - Yes, yes. Allow me to get this.

- Why do I ever... - no, no, no. You've done enough damage.

All right. Apologies, your worship.

In my overexuberance, I may have...

Had a few too much of the old blue dragon cognac

and, you know, overstayed me welcome.

Tout de suite!

- Come on, let's go. Come on. - Bravo.

Bloody good replica, Tim.

I think they bought it.

And now, before I declare this event open, let's...

Put this fellow back on his plinth.

I hear the metre is quite heavy.

It took four men to lift.

Four frenchmen.

- Er, edders... - no. It's all right, dicketry.

Impossible!

Seems to me the French don't get enough beef.

This is a fake! It cannot be so light.

What?

The... the platinum has been stolen.

What? No, nonsense.

It's been here the whole damn time.

No, it's just shoddy French workmanship.

- It's probably not even real platinum. - Yeah.

I expect you're trying to pass off a fake.

This... this is an outrage!

There has been a robbery!

Well, stuff and poppycock!

- Yes! - To you sir!

Inserting the ligation loop now.

Problem?

Ligation tool's snagged.

Well, can you draw it out slowly?

No, it's stuck.

If it's in the aorta, she'll bleed out if I tug on it.

I can't hold these arteries much longer.

What do you need me to do, doctor?

Doctor?

Doctor?

I don't know. I don't know. Here.

I should never have...

Where are you going?

Lady belle!

Where are you going?

What the devil's going on?

- Why are you here? - I made a terrible mistake.

Please help me. Please!

Good Christ!

Lady belle!

I think...

- What's your plan? - I'm sorry,

- I didn't mean for this to happen... - keep your head.

What's your plan?

I need you to free the tool so I can get the ligation secured.

I'm worried it's hooked in the aorta.

Well, find out.

Go ahead.

Your patient.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Bloody hell.

It's all right, we'll just wait for them to pass.

Oi, that's me special bread!

- Fagin, you pillock! - She just nicked it in broad daylight.

- As opposed to what we did? - Oi, get back!

It's unacceptable!

Great! Now what?

See, this is what happens when you plan things.

Hey, I know a shortcut through the tunnels.

Are you sure it's a dry tunnel?

Yeah, sure as I've got eyes in me head. Come on.

There she goes! Right.

Yeah, go on.

- But it is here. Look, it's real. - But it's not real.

It is, I promise. Look, it's still shiny like it was before.

Do you know that lifting business was tremendous.

Really showed the French up.

- You really think so? - Yes!

- Damned cheats. - Yeah.

No. We'll make a governor of you yet.

Thank you, Dickie.

Now, come on. Let's go.

You don't think we could pause for another le dragon bleu?

No, no, sewers first.

Otherwise, your wife will make comments.

I wonder if anyone's thought to simply turn the water on.

- Do you know where we are? - Of course I do. We're in a tunnel.

- Can you be more specific? - Yeah, it's this way. This way.

Ha! Yes!

You see, now that wall... Is exactly where I thought it would be.

So, what that indicates is that we have to go down here.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That's it.

All right, let's get this water flowing, Dickie.

Come on, lads, put your back into it.

Why don't you pop up there and join them?

- What? - It'll look good for you.

Show them you're not afraid to get your hands dirty.

Lovely notion.

All right.

Hold that for me.

All right, boys.

Make room for the governor.

Yes, look out. Governor's here.

Now, get a good grip.

Good grip. Come on, lads, that's the way.

Get behind it.

Right, let's go.

- Go on, edders! - I am.

- Go on! - Nearly there.

Brilliant, fagin. This is lovely.

You have no idea where we are, do you?

This is precisely why fagin & son would never work.

Well done.

Fagin & son ain't working because you're too busy crocheting human flesh

and flouncing around with cheekybones.

Flouncing?

You should be focused on the serious business of crime.

It's not just up to me to buy your freedom.

No, it largely is. You're the reason I'm a convict.

Agree to differ.

Can you two shut your gobs and listen?

We're gonna drown down here thanks to you.

No! No, no, no, no.

Look!

Look, look, look.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Through this hole. Come on, Tim!

There'll be no...

Clog-poppin' today.

Come on, dodge.

Come on!

Dodge, come on!

- Leave it! - No, I bloody won't.

Come on, dodge!

Come on!

Dodge!

Pulse is steady.

Ligation is secured.

No.

Why is she going...

No, the ligation's secured. There's blood flow.

- What on earth's going on? - Let me.

Yes, it's sound.

No. We didn't Nick the aorta, it was in the fascia...

no pulse.

Try again.

No, she's gone.

No.

- Come away, lady belle. - What...

- We lost her. - No.

- Lady belle. - What...

My god, what have I done?

I killed her. I...

We all do.

At some point. It's the cost of our calling.

Why are you calm?

You made the right clinical decisions, belle.

But you should go home now.

And tomorrow, we must have a serious conversation with your mother.

Fagin, hurry up. It's rising fast!

- Hello? - Come on. We gotta go!

Hello! Help!

- Mom, wait! - Hurry up!

Oi! You!

Push it open, fagin.

Let us out! Hello!

We'll drown in here!

Fagin, for Christ's sake, push it open!

See?

I told you I knew the way.

- Are we swimming in... - faeces.

- Yes. - Yes.

Least we've got some nice bread for the morning.

Well, that's rosy.

You stole the basis for half the world's measurement,

then lost it in a sewer.

Well, who needs to measure anything, really?

It's overrated.

In case you're worried,

father doesn't suspect a thing.

How do they not?

Well, father thinks he's very strong and...

Uncle Dickie thinks the French tried to counterfeit platinum

to humiliate the colony.

Either way, you're safe.

Well, sparkling work, Fanny.

You're a dab hand at the swindling.

Really?

Really.

Thank you... All, so much.

For such a long time, I've felt worthless.

Everyone said I was ridiculous, and maybe I am a little.

But you saw me.

You knew what I might be good at, and you trusted me.

I've, er... never felt welcome anywhere before, and so...

Well, I wanted to ask...

Can I join your gang?

- Well, we don't really have a position... - no! Of course, you can.

Yes.

We'd be as thrilled as rats in a butcher shop.

Thank you so much!

Drinks are on me.

Well, on the governor.

All right, come on then.

All right, fill 'em up!

Come and sit down in there. There you go.

Good god. What have they done?

What?

I hear the water is flowing.

- Woof woof! - Woof woof!

The wrong way!

It's flooded part of devil's elbow.

Yes, but still flowing, darling.

And you seem to have caused a diplomatic incident with the French.

They've sent us a démarche.

A day-what?

A very unpleasant note.

Well, don't be such a wet sheet, janey.

I mean, the people love me.

The workmen wassailed for me,

and all thanks to the good advice of dicketry here.

Faramond says the entire population of the French quarter

is protesting outside.

They've burnt you in effigy.

Well, if we've annoyed the French, then we're doing something right.

Hear, hear.

Yes.

- Janey... - Imbeciles.

Boys?

Come here. I gotta tell you something real hard.

Belle.

Come here.

What is it? What's happened?

Jack, I lost a patient.

It was my fault.

Jack, it was my fault.

I really needed you today.