Original subtitles

Put some of that muscle in there!

Move it now. That's it, boys.

Vanderbilt, come on, get up in the tower.

Now that we got it fixed, we gotta test it.

Sarge, I'm not going up in that tower

until you prove to me that it won't fall down.

Vanderbilt, nobody likes a scaredy-cat.

I'm not a scaredy-cat.

But every time it falls down, I keep breaking my glasses.

I'm going broke.

Well, all right. Agarn, you go up in the tower.

Homina homina.

Me?

Yeah, you.

Yeah, Agarn. Nobody loves a scaredy-cat.

Stop. Wait a minute, he's wearing glasses.

Go on up in the tower.

You come with me.

You all set, Agarn?

All right, Vanderbilt.

Heh! Hey, look at that!

All right. Come on, you can come on down now.

Come on down, Agarn. Get up in the tower, Vanderbilt.

Let's go.

Scaredy-cat.

Hi, sergeant. What's going on?

Oh, we just put the tower up again, Janey.

Solid as a rock. Yeah.

Oh, boy. Sure falls like a rock.

All right, you men. Put it up again.

Is the captain in his quarters?

This here message just came over the wire from headquarters.

I'll take it to him, Janey.

Stop that, nosey. You ain't got no call

reading military messages for the captain.

That's right. I'm surprised at you, Agarn.

If that message had been intended for your eyes,

it would've had your name on it.

Oh. Janey, that's a nice hat you're wearing. I like that.

Only thing, you oughta tilt it a little.

Should I? Maybe...

Nah. No, no, I guess girls know how to wear

your hats better than I do. Oh, by the way,

the captain is in his quarters.

Thanks. See you later.

What did it say?

It said they're sending Colonel William Bartlett

out to inspect us the day after tomorrow.

Another inspection? And just when we get

the souvenir business going good.

And right while we got all those cases

of Hekawi whiskey stashed at the NCO club.

Well, all we gotta do is... Wait a minute.

Did you say Colonel William Bartlett?

Yeah.

William Bartlett. Bill Bartlett.

Hey, that's it.

Bugle Bill Bartlett. Bugle Bill?

They call him that because he's got this thing about buglers

ever since one big Indian fight.

He hollered "charge" and the bugler blew "retreat."

What happened? He was out there by himself.

Before he figured that out he was so full of arrows

that a porcupine followed him home.

That's funny. It's not that funny.

But I'll tell you what is funny.

See, he's got this thing. Now, if he gets bugged

by a bugler on the fort,

he'll hang around for weeks, poking his nose into this,

turning everything upside down.

Oh, boy. We'd be in trouble.

Now, on the other hand, if he likes the bugler, see,

then he just goes away and we don't have any trouble.

We are in trouble.

That's my Secret Service training.

Thanks, Jane, for delivering it.

Well, there is one way

that you can show your appreciation.

I know, but at the moment, I don't have any change.

I didn't mean that. I mean this:

Oh, that. Well, no, no, no.

I'm sorry, Jane. I'd like to,

but I'm on the verge of a cold, it wouldn't be fair to you.

Wilton Parmenter, I don't know why I bother

delivering telegrams to a critter

who doesn't seem to get the message.

Hey, here he comes.

Well, two days don't give us much time to work on him.

I know. But just remember how sensitive he is

about his bugle playing.

We gotta be careful how we handle this.

I know, I know. Don't worry.

Shh-shh.

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow Which nobody can deny ♪

Happy birthday, Dobbsey.

For me? Gosh.

A new bugle.

Gosh, fellas, thanks a...

Hey, wait a minute. Today ain't my birthday.

It ain't?

No. My birthday ain't for months.

Oh, well. That's for last year's birthday. All right?

Better late than never.

Go on, try it out. Play something.

Okay. Here goes.

You fellows won't believe this,

but I never had a lesson in my life.

Dobbs, with the talent you got,

lessons would be a waste of money.

What do you mean by that?

Not that you don't sound good.

But you could be one of the all-time greats

if you'd just practice a little every day.

Practice?

Nine, ten hours.

No, fellows.

See, when you're a natural player like me,

practice could be dangerous. It could ruin you.

Chance it.

No.

I guess I'd best leave well enough alone.

Wait a minute, Dobbs. I got an idea.

Why don't you go up on Glass Mountain,

try out your new bugle with all the echoes up there?

You can play duets with yourself.

Hey, sarge, that's a nice idea.

And thanks again for the new bugle.

Yeah. And, well, happy birthday.

Agarn, I tell you, there are times

when you got to take the bull by the horn.

That Hekawi whiskey will kill anything.

Here. You're next.

Sergeant? Oh, yes, sir.

What is going on here? And where is Dobbs?

Well, Dobbs is up on Glass Mountain, sir.

It's a matter of tact, captain,

while we audition his replacement.

Replacement? Yes, sir.

I think it's time for Dobbs to step down.

For the good of the troop.

Sergeant, I fail to see how you can...

Captain, Colonel Bartlett often judges an entire fort

by the ability of its bugler.

Now, you will admit that Dobbs' musical talent is,

well, limited.

But judging an entire fort on the basis of its bugler?

That's the silliest thing I ever heard of.

Yeah, true. Unfortunate but true.

Yes, the last fort where he didn't like the bugler,

he had the captain transferred.

Transferred? Yes, sir.

To the swamplands of Louisiana.

Swampland? Uh-huh.

Oh, uh...

Well, I suppose under the circumstances

that the welfare of the fort does come first.

You may proceed, sergeant. But understand,

this is only for the duration of the colonel's stay.

Yes, sir. All right.

You all know what you're here for.

The idea is to find someone better than Dobbs, not worse.

Is there anyone here who has a musical background?

Me, sir.

All right, Vanderbilt. You try.

What kind of a musical background did you have?

My sister played the violin.

Sergeant, didn't you explain?

Yes, sir. I did explain.

Men, we have an emergency on our hands.

We must find someone in this fort

who can satisfy Colonel Bartlett.

Something wrong, sarge?

Good try, corporal. But I doubt that it would

be appropriate while charging on horseback.

How about this?

Men, men. No, no, no. That's not what we want.

Men, don't. Men... Men.

What did you say, sir?

I said we're going to have to get Dobbs

to practice, practice, practice.

Forward, march.

To the rear, march.

To the rear, march.

To the rear, march.

To the rear, march!

At ease, men. At ease.

Excuse me.

Men, we've all had a difficult night.

But we must make the minutes count today

so that when Inspector Bartlett arrives tomorrow,

we'll all be proud of our fort.

And Dobbs.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Dobbs. I want you to continue

practicing for the balance of the day.

How dare you give your captain the grumbles!

Sir, I don't mean to complain, but my lips are all swoll up.

This practice is killing me.

Well, it's not doing the rest of us any good either.

I was saying, we're very fortunate that we have

some time left so that you can learn to...

Captain! A rider is approaching the gate.

I'm Colonel Bartlett.

Whoa. Colonel Bartlett?

Uh, well.

I-I'm Captain Wilton Parmenter, sir.

I-I do... You're early.

That is, we weren't expecting you till tomorrow.

An old trick of mine, captain. Catch 'em unaware.

Well, I imagine you've had a very long trip, sir.

You probably would appreciate a, uh... A nice warm bath.

You can feel free to use my tub.

No, no, I only bathe in ice water.

Ah, that can wait. Well, carry on with your schedule.

Well, actually, sir, we were all through.

I was just about to dismiss the men for breakfast.

Very well. Have the bugler play "Mess Call."

"Mess Call"?

Yes. That's a little number

that's become quite popular in this man's army.

I know, sir. I know. But technically, you see,

when the troop is already assembled, you don't blow...

Captain, I'm well aware of the regulations.

Now I'd like to hear "Mess Call."

If it isn't too much trouble.

Oh, no, sir. No.

But I was just thinking, colonel, uh,

maybe you'd like to see...

Maybe you'd like to look around the town first.

You really ought to see the town first, sir.

We have a lot of new, interesting things to see.

Isn't that right, colonel? Corporal?

Oh, yes... Oh, yes. There's the horse trough.

Take you into town to see the barber pole.

It's red and white.

Watch a couple of haircuts.

Or the bakery. Smell a couple of pies.

And then there's this guy who sits in front

of the general store and he whittles.

Gosh, how he can whittle.

I'm sure these points of interest aren't gonna run away.

Now may I hear "Mess call"?

Captain!

Another rider is approaching the gate.

Colonel, sir.

What is it, Jenks?

Sir, I checked out that herd of horses

headquarters want us to look into.

They appear to be a very good buy.

Oh, I see.

How far is that ranch?

About 17 miles, sir.

Forts. Horses.

I suppose I'd better go up there.

I'll inspect here tomorrow.

But, sir, you're due at Fort Mills tomorrow.

Oh, that's right.

Well, in that case, I'll have to postpone

this inspection for the next couple of months.

Aw, shame you missed our bugler, sir.

He's the best in the West. Isn't he, captain?

Oh, yes. Absolutely. Yes, sir.

He's that good, eh?

Well, in that case, I'm going to make it a point

to stop back here this evening to hear him play "Retreat."

Agarn, how long would it take for you to get your saxophone?

Oh, just a minute, sarge. Why?

Because I wanna ram it down your big mouth.

Come on, Wilton. It ain't no use pacing around like that.

Why, you act like a turkey on the day before Thanksgiving.

I'm worried, Janey. This is a very bad situation.

How would you like to go to the swamplands of Louisiana?

Is that a proposal, Wilton?

Ye... No! Janey, I'm serious.

Colonel Bartlett has been known

to order transfers to places like that.

What could be worse?

Transferring Dobbs with you.

I'll send for Dobbs and as soon as he gets here,

we'll start going over...

Oh, sir. Dobbs has disappeared.

Disappeared?

Yes, sir, and we've turned the fort upside down.

Oh, my gosh.

I hope nothing has happened to him.

Has he been gone long?

About a half-hour. Right after my headache went away.

Actually, sir, he complained of being ill

and I sent him over to his quarters.

An hour later I went over, and no Dobbs.

Not even a wrinkle in his bunk.

He always did make a tight bed.

Did he take anything with him?

Just the clothes on his back, his bugle and...

A picture of his mother.

This is very disturbing.

Now I'm sorry we drove him so hard.

I think he needed encouragement instead of criticism.

I feel guilty about that.

Well, not me.

I told the colonel he played just great.

There's no time to delay.

Sergeant, organize search parties.

Right. I'll see if Wild Eagle won't give us a hand.

Good. Wild Eagle?

Yes, sir. The Hekawi know every inch of those hills.

If you think they can be of real assistance.

Oh, yes, sir.

I know that Wild Eagle will be happy to help.

What's in it for me?

Chief, we're counting on you.

Counting, counting.

Better you count the coward's share of souvenir money.

First of moon bill's way overdue.

Chief, I gotta say I think it's pretty small of you.

But if money's all you think about, all right.

Twenty dollars reward for the safe return of Dobbs.

Ten dollars down, the rest, COD.

All right, I got no time to argue.

Here it is.

Now get your best trackers up in those hills.

Who need hills?

Wild Eagle, that was a dirty trick.

Chief, how come you took our money when you knew

Dobbs was here in the camp all the time?

You never bet on sure thing?

All right. I'll let you keep the $10.

But I'm not gonna pay the rest of that reward.

Okay. Win a little, lose a little.

Come on, Dobbs.

We gotta get you back to the fort

so you can blow "Retreat" for Colonel Bartlett.

No, sir, sergeant. I ain't going back.

Y'all lost your faith in me and it ruined my confidence.

Faith? What faith?

Ah.

Better he stay here. Become member of tribe.

See? They like me just fine here.

And I play real good when I'm appreciated.

Beautiful.

Beautiful!

See? It's just fine here.

But if I was to try to play for Colonel Bartlett,

Captain Parmenter might get transferred out of Fort Courage

and I ain't gonna be the cause of that.

Dobbs, come here.

Do you really feel that way about the captain?

I sure do.

He's been like a second mother to me.

All right, Agarn. Hit him in the mouth.

Huh?

Split his lip so he can't blow for Colonel Bartlett.

Gosh, sarge, that's a wonderful idea.

Come on, Agarn. Hit me.

I can't do it, sarge. You hit him.

Well, you chicken-heart. Come here.

Better he stay here. Become Hekawi.

Blow bugle for the tribe.

We get rid of tom-toms.

Always get big, sick headache with every "boom, boom, boom."

Drive you out of mind.

Wait, drums job of Crazy Cat. What I do?

You take care of firewood or go clean still.

Clean still? What kind of job for next in line?

Always complaining.

Hey, I got it. You see that tree over there?

Well, just pucker up like this, see,

and run right smack into it.

Did you hear that, sarge?

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Is Crazy Cat. Cleaning pipes from still.

Come on.

I can't understand it. It's almost time for retreat.

See any sign of them, Duffy?

Not yet, sir.

Don't worry, sir. He'll be here.

Uh... I'm positive he'll be here.

Dobbs?

No, sir. The colonel.

Yes, yes, I know he'll be here.

Oh. I'm going to miss you, men.

And I hope that now and then, you'll...

You'll think of me.

Remember how we soldiered together.

Cleaning the flagpole. Keeping the fort clean.

Doing our daily calisthenics.

With or without me, I want you to carry on.

Here they come, sir! Here they come!

Thank goodness they're bringing Dobbs back.

Oh, I see you've made it back here, sir.

Did you have a pleasant day?

Some day.

Just got a little way out of town

and my horse got spooked by some weird noise and threw me.

When we got to the ranch, the horses we were supposed to buy

were stampeding into the hills.

So we didn't make the deal.

Then on the way back, we ran into a sandstorm.

So you can see I'm not in any mood for chitchat.

Let's get on with "Retreat."

What? "Retreat"?

Yes, "Retreat." That's what I'm here for, isn't it?

Now, where's your bugler?

The... The bugler?

Yes, your bugler.

Well, you see, sir, my...

Our bugler is a fellow named Dobbs,

you see. And...

All right, let's dress it up here. Now, look like troopers.

Sergeant O'Rourke reporting for duty, sir.

You're alone, sergeant?

Yes, I am, sir.

But I believe we're ready for "Retreat."

Blowing "Retreat" from the tower?

Well, sir, you see,

it's an old Fort Courage tradition.

Yeah. We, uh...

We save it just for our very important visitors.

Troop. Attention!

About face!

Present arms!

Order arms.

Beautiful.

Touchingly, hauntingly beautiful.

You've made this a memorable day, captain.

It's very kind of you to say that, sir.

Colonel Bartlett?

Goodbye, captain.

Goodbye, sir.

Sergeant, that was magnificent.

I can hardly believe my ears.

We did it! We did it! We did it!

Well, maybe it was okay that we fooled the captain that way,

but it sure is on my conscience.

Oh, now listen, son.

That little bit of deception may have saved the captain's career.

At least it kept him here at the fort,

safe from Louisiana alligators.

Uh-huh.

Now that I got my confidence back,

I'm sure gonna play better.

Ah.

Hey. I got an idea.

Why don't you blow this? Anyone can do it.

All you do is blow in here and it comes out great.

All right.