Original subtitles

Sarge, water.

I see water over there.

Agarn, it's just another mirage.

But I see it, sarge.

Clear blue water. I see it.

Agarn, all I see is rocks, like you got in your head.

Now, come on.

We'll be back at the fort in less than an hour,

unless we run into those Apaches

we're supposed to be looking for.

Please, sarge. I gotta rest. I just gotta rest.

Even my saddle's getting saddle sores.

All right, all right.

Five minutes. But that's it.

Thanks, sarge.

Your heart is as big as that whole blue ocean

right over there.

All right, come on. That's another mirage.

Just go over there and lay down and close your eyes.

Maybe it'll go away.

Good idea, sarge. Good idea.

Whew!

Sarge, if I'm seeing mirages,

why am I seeing mirages?

Well, now, that's simple, Agarn.

You're thirsty so you're seeing water.

You see, you always see what you want the most.

Now, that makes sense. Mm.

Ooh, does that make sense!

Well, of course it makes sense.

And that's some mirage.

What mirage?

Right up there on that boulder.

Agarn, that is no mirage. That is a blond Indian girl.

I still say it's a mirage, and I seen it first.

Yoo-hoo! Mirage!

Or whatever your name is.

Hey. Hey! Wait!

Hey! Come on back here.

Horse thief! Come back here!

You come back!

Ah, well, that did it.

Now we gotta walk back to the fort.

Sarge.

What's that?

A locket.

The mirage must've dropped it.

Agarn, would you do me a favor?

The next time you see a mirage that steals horses,

keep it to yourself, will ya?

Come on.

Yeah, well, that's... That's the way it is, captain.

A very strange story, sergeant.

Oh, yes, sir. That means we may have met a genuine blond Indian.

Or else she wasn't an Indian, only dressed like an Indian.

That is, unless she was a mirage like the sarge said...

Agarn.

Corporal, mirages do not steal horses.

Then where did ours go?

Will you cut that out, Agarn...?

Uh, a touch of the sun, sir.

I see.

Perhaps the, uh...

The locket will explain things, sir.

The locket? But... Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

Good thinking, sergeant.

Oh, wait... Wait. Here, I'll...

Oh! Are you all right, sir?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Uh, let me see here.

Uh, "To my baby daughter Cynthia with love. Gideon D. Jeffries."

Jeffries. Gideon D. Jeffries?

That girl must've been an Apache captive.

A child stolen in infancy and raised within the tribe.

Jeffries. Gideon D. Jeffries.

Do you know him, sergeant?

Oh, well, if he's the man I'm thinking of, sir,

he's one of the biggest silver-mine owners in Texas.

Well, won't he be pleased

when we restore his long-lost daughter to him.

Oh! Oh, money can't buy happiness, you know.

It can't?

Agarn, go have Dobbs sound the attack.

An attack, sir?

We'll show those shifty Apaches

they can't steal children and get away with it.

Ha... Has the captain considered

that F Troop is not at its full fighting strength, sir?

I mean, Vanderbilt busted his glasses again,

and... And Duffy's old Alamo wound is acting up.

And the Apaches are in the peak of conditions. The very peak.

Surely you men are not suggesting

that F Troop remain idle when our duty is perfectly clear.

Let me put it another way, sir.

We are dealing with Geronimo, the Apache chief.

He is a wily character.

Wily, sir. Very wily. And treacherous.

Very treacherous, sir.

So, I suggest that we fight fire with fire.

Flaming arrows?

Captain, let's get an Indian to deal with an Indian.

And who better than the brave, noble,

courageous stalwart and heroic chief, Wild Eagle?

You got wrong Indian, brothers.

But Wild Eagle, you gotta help.

If Geronimo doesn't release her, there's gonna be a bloodbath.

Yeah, and with our blood. Huh!

Better yours than ours.

Now, wait... Please, please.

Talk about something else.

Just had dinner.

Chief should rest after dinner.

Last chief go like that... when he get excited after big meal.

I want medical advice, I ask medicine man.

Well, he give last chief good advice,

just before last chief go to big happy hunting ground in sky.

You don't shut up, you be in happy hunting ground!

Geronimo is your cousin, right?

Some cousin. He only come to visit when he's out of buffalo.

Then he stay for weeks.

But you know him. He'll listen to you.

Geronimo listen to nobody but Geronimo.

Yeah? Well, will he listen to the sound of money?

The rustle of greenbacks?

Wouldn't anybody?

That's the whole working capital

of O'Rourke Enterprises.

Agarn, I'm surprised at you. Where is your heart?

A helpless female being held by savage Indians,

and you're thinking about a few measly bucks.

How measly, O'Rourke?

I've got a lot of money to pay for the release of that girl.

Now, whether you give it to Geronimo or not, I don't care.

Get her back, you can keep it all. Five hundred bucks.

And I'll throw in a dozen blankets.

Now, you got right Indian, brother.

I still don't understand, sarge.

That $500 was the last cent we had.

Agarn, I've told you five times.

That girl is the daughter of the richest mine owners in Texas.

Right. And who saved his long-lost child?

Wild Eagle. Right? Wrong.

You and I saved that poor helpless child.

Then there's a reward in it for you and me.

Ah-ha! Mr. Jeffries will be so grateful

that in a short time, you and I will retire on a large fortune.

But what if Wild Eagle can't get her back for us?

In a situation like this, Agarn,

have you ever known me to guess wrong?

Yes.

No, no, no.

We cannot wait another day.

But, captain, just give Wild Eagle a little time.

He had a week and there's been no word at all.

I'm ordering immediate attack on the Apache camp.

Wait a minute, captain. Smoke signals.

Sarge, you read smoke.

Uh, yeah. It's from Chief Wild Eagle.

Well, it's about time. What's he saying, sergeant?

"Have round girl."

That's the best kind.

Round, sergeant? Oh.

Correction, sir. It says, "Have found girl.

Excuse spelling. Have hole in blanket."

How, chief.

How.

Good work, Chief Wild Eagle,

Hey, yeah. How...? How did you manage it, chief?

Make blanket deal.

Trade dozen blankets for Yellow Bird.

Yellow Bird? Well, that's not the gi...

Oh! That's her Apache name.

Yeah, well, that's all over now.

Her real name is Cynthia Jeffries,

and she's gonna have to get used to it.

Where is she, chief? In teepee.

Ah. Crazy Cat, bring Bird.

Ah!

Ah.

How do you do? I'm Captain Wilton Parmenter.

I... I... I don't think she understands, sir.

Oh, uh...

uh, we are your... Your friends, see?

Friends. Friends. Friends. See?

Friend.

Oh...! Ow! Ow!

Does anybody understand what she's saying?

Uh, I understand a little Apache, captain.

Me, uh, Corporal Agarn.

Well, she seemed to understand that.

Yes, sir.

Uh, Miss Jeffries, the corporal was just trying to be friendly.

He likes you.

Uh, like. Like? Huh?

Like. Like.

Like.

Ah, me like you.

Ooh! Oh.

That's very nice of you.

Like.

Like. Whoa! Please put me down.

No, no, no. I'm on duty. Sergeant, help.

Uh, Yellow Bird, put him down this instant.

Now, the captain doesn't like it.

Well, with the captain's permission,

I'd like to send a wire to Mr. Jeffries

telling that his, uh... His daughter is safe.

Well, now, let's not be hasty, sergeant.

It would be cruel if we were wrong about this.

Let's be absolutely certain that she's the right girl.

Good. Now, uh...

Uh, Miss Jeffries.

Me Yellow Bird.

Oh, heh, heh, do you mind if I correct you?

That's, "I am Yellow Bird."

See...? No, no. I... I am Wilton Parmenter, see?

He is Randolph Agarn.

I am Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke.

Right. Now, you are... Me Yellow Bird.

Yellow, yellow, bird. Yeah, uh...

Gentlemen, in the last few hours,

we've made a little progress with the English language,

but it is coming rather slowly.

Now, Yellow Bird, when did you last see your father?

Uh... uh, your daddy?

Daddy?

Many moons.

Uh, did you walk out of the cabin and get lost? Hm?

Uh... Well... Well, here. Here.

Did you...?

Did you walk out of a door like this:

See? Oh.

Out.

You... You... You walked out of a cabin?

Uh, maybe a wagon train?

Uh, here. I... I wonder if she has any identifying marks.

I ought to check her for birthmarks. Agarn.

Now, if she remembers her hometown.

Where did you say her father lives?

Texas. Texas. You are from Dallas?

Fort Worth? San Antonio?

Hong Kong?

A girl is lost in Hong Kong

and walks all the way to the United States?

Well, sarge, she had 15 years to do it in.

Uh, let me see here. Uh, Texas, Texas. Uh...

Texas. Texas, Texas. Yes, yes, yes.

What other cities are there?

Austin?

Uh, Houston? Houston.

Houston!

Wilton Parmenter, what's going on here?

We're conducting an official interrogation.

And since when is hanky-panky one of your official duties?

We've just found where this girl comes from.

We have to send a wire to Houston right away.

Houston.

I ain't sending no wires till she puts you down.

Uh, you have to put me down, Miss Yellow Bird.

I'm still on duty.

Whoa! Oh, Wilton!

Oh!

Are you all right, sir?

I'm all right. I'm all right.

Janey, that's certainly swift. When did we get the answer?

Just a few minutes ago. Here.

Uh, let's see. Uh...

"Will arrive Fort Courage tomorrow.

"Most anxious to meet persons who found my darling daughter

and reward them. Signed, Gideon D. Jeffries."

There, you see, Yellow Bird? Tomorrow you'll be going home.

Me go home with you.

No. No, no, no, no, no. It's, "I go home with you." See?

I go home, you go home, she goes home.

Do you understand? I understand all right.

Nobody's going home with you, Wilton.

He belongs to me.

No, him belong me.

No, he doesn't.

Ladies, ladies, please!

Jane, would you please pick out a dress for Yellow Bird?

I have to be getting back to the fort. Excuse me.

Now, listen, Miss Yellow Bird.

Wilton is mine. All mine.

No. Him mine.

He's spoke for.

What "spoke for"?

That means he's my property, and hands off.

Someday Wilton and I are gonna be married.

Married.

Married.

What mean "marriage"?

Marriage? Uh, well, marriage, that's a lot of trouble.

Ha, ha, ha. No, no.

Marriage is when a boy and a girl love each other.

Love. Love, see? Love.

How marry?

Well, first, a boy and girl get a license.

Then they go in front of a judge or a minister.

Do you, Yellow Bird, take this man in deadlock?

Wedlock. Wedlock.

The judge asks the boy if he wants to get married,

and the boy says, "I do."

And that's the last thing she lets him say

for the rest of his life.

Sometime they get married in a church or city hall,

or sometimes they just elope.

Elope?

What "elope"?

When the father puts the ladder up,

and mother throws the daughter out the window.

Sarge! Yellow Bird, eloping is very romantic.

In the middle of the night,

the boy puts the ladder up against the girl's window

and carries her down,

whisks her off into the night,

and they live happily ever after.

Night, ladder, boy, girl.

Happy.

Wilton?

Who's there?

Wilton.

Wil... Yellow Bird.

What...? Oh.

Me elope with you.

No, no, no, Yellow Bird.

It's, "I'll elope with you." See?

It's... Wait, elope? E-e-elope?

Oh, now, Yellow Bird, be reasonable.

No, I... I... I don't...

I don't want to elope with you.

I'm not allowed to leave the post.

Yellow Bird, please, now, I...

No, there's nothing in the manual about eloping.

No, please.

We've got to get back to the fort, Yellow Bird.

Your father will be very worried about you.

No go back.

You and me marry, then go back.

No, no, no, no.

If you marry me, we'll go back, see?

The proper use of the pronoun, remember?

What do you think we'll get for the reward? Five thousand?

Agarn, must you think of money at a time like this?

I mean, a reunion between a loving parent

and his little curly-haired daughter. Heh, heh.

I'd say more like 10,000.

I'll chip in a couple bucks myself just to get rid of her.

Hey, would you look at that fancy rig.

Uh, hey, make that 15,000. Let's give him a big welcome.

Dobbs, do you know any songs about Texas?

"The Swanee River." Is that in Texas?

I don't know. Play it anyway.

The way you blow, he'll never know.

Oh, sarge.

Whoa.

Howdy, ladies and gentlemen. Howdy-do to one and all.

Gideon D. Jeffries is the name.

Sergeant O'Rourke, sir. That's Corporal Agarn,

Wrangler Jane and that there is Dobbs.

A fellow Texan of yours.

I can't wait a minute longer.

Where is my ever-loving little daughter?

My... My sweet precious Cynthia?

Sir, I have dispatched two men from F Troop to escort her here.

I just happen to be the man who was lucky enough

to rescue your child from a savage Indian tribe, sir.

I was with him, sir. Together. Two of us. Fifty-fifty.

Fifty-fifty? Corporal Agarn,

surely you couldn't be thinking of a reward

for rescuing this gentleman's only child from a hideous fate.

Well, I'm thinking of a reward, all right.

I'm thinking of a hundred thousand.

Oh, now really, sir. That's...

Where is that girl? Where is that girl?

Hey, sarge! What is it, Duffy?

Sergeant, the girl is missing.

She sure is missing. I looked all over.

She is what? Now, don't get excited, sir.

She's probably with Captain Parmenter,

our commanding officer.

Captain Parmenter is missing too, sir.

Wilton's missing?

I'll have your heads for this.

I'm gonna report this to Washington. You'll all wind up...

Don't worry about a thing. Dobbs, play assembly.

I mean, we'll send out search parties.

You marry me?

I'm not ready for marriage, Yellow Bird.

The only girl I ever go out with is Jane.

Jane?

There, you see?

My men have come for us and your father's probably with them.

Now, put me down. No.

Yellow Bird, this foolishness has gone far enough.

Now, put me down and let's go meet your father.

All right.

A little tricky there. That's it, sir.

Hey, sergeant.

Sergeant O'Rourke.

There she is. My little baby.

My Cynthia!

It's been such a long time since your daddy has seen you.

Daddy?

Daddy!

Yes, I'm your daddy. Daddy.

Oh, Wilton, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine, Jane.

Jane. Uh...

you'll... You'll have to excuse me.

I don't have my robe.

Oh, you look no different

than you did when you left us 15 years ago.

Well, what a happy reunion. I am certainly glad, sir,

that I could bring you two back together again. Yeah.

We brought you two back together again. We.

Oh, yes. Yes. Oh, this is the nicest day

I have ever had.

Oh, tomorrow...

Tomorrow's gonna be the nicest day you ever had,

because that's when I'm giving you two

a hundred thousand dollars.

Oh, sir, the bigness of your diamonds

is exceeded only by the bigness of your heart.

Think nothing of it, my boy.

Oh, I can't wait to see the look on your dear mama's face.

Mama? Mama!

We're gonna take you back to Texas tomorrow.

Me take Wilton Texas.

You're not taking him anywhere. He's mine.

No, mine. No, mine.

Whoa!

The time has come for me to show my gratitude.

Oh, you're too kind, sir. You're too kind.

Here it is, a hundred thousand dollars.

Yeah, well, that's a... A share of stock, sir.

Oh, not one share, sir.

Thank you there. Thank you very much. Ahem.

Ten shares.

Ten shares in my Silverado mine.

That's worth a hundred thousand dollars?

I'm gonna let you boys in on a million-dollar deal.

Confidentially, in 30 days,

I'm selling half the Silverado mine.

Those ten shares will be worth one hundred thousand dollars.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Thank you very much, sir.

It's the least I can do.

Now, all you have to do

is file your Texas transfer fee and it's all yours.

Transfer fee?

Oh, it's nothing. Texas law.

One hundred dollars per share comes to a measly thousand.

We've got to raise a thousand dollars?

Just a technicality.

Kind of keep the bookkeeping straight.

Of course, if you'd rather,

I could give you a straight reward.

I do believe I have a little chicken feed in my pocket here.

Chicken feed would be delicious.

Uh, for a hundred thousand dollars,

I think we can wait for 30 days.

All right, men. We're foreclosing on your IOUs.

Now, line up there. Come on, fellas. Line it up.

Make it snappy. Here you go.

Dobbs, you owe $48.

Do I have to pay it all now?

Either that or we repossess your bugle.

Vanderbilt, $73.

Do I get back my glasses?

The ones with the solid gold frames?

Yeah, and we'll clean the lenses for free.

Here you go. There's you IOU.

Duffy, you owe $62. But, sarge...

Or we'll sell your autographed picture of Jim Bowie.

Blackmail. That's what it is, blackmail.

Duddleson. Bar charges: Two dollars, beer.

Sandwiches, light nibblings, $89.50.

I gotta cut down on the beer.

There you are. Start counting, Agarn.

Ah, there you are, Mr. Jeffries. The transfer fee.

Oh, and there's your trunk

with all your daughter's new possessions.

My boy, you hold on to those shares and you wait for my wire.

If you're ever down Houston way, drop in to see us.

We got 32 bedrooms we ain't using anymore in the house.

We might just do that, sir. Ha, ha.

Me sorry see you go.

No. "I sorry to see you go."

Proper use of pronoun.

Well, goodbye and thank you.

And give my best to Captain Parmenter.

We'll do that, Mr. Jeffries. We certainly will. Here we go.

Goodbye. There we are.

Bye-bye. All right, hey.

Jane, what do you mean stealing her trunk?

What...?

Ah! Talk about stealing.

All right there. Set them up. Free drinks for everybody.

That's the way we go. Two beers right here, boy.

Agarn, in two days, we're gonna be rich, huh?

Two days, 14 hours and 23 minutes, but who's counting?

Have you got the shares and stock in a safe place?

Never without them. Right there you are, right?

Sergeant, telegram. Just came in from Houston.

There's our $100,000.

And two days early.

Read it for me, Wrangler. I don't want to tire my eyes.

Here's a little chicken feed for your trouble.

"Regret to inform you,

"Silverado mine in bankruptcy.

"Mine shaft flooded by underground spring.

Signed, Gideon D. Jeffries."

Chicken feed? Chicken feed?

And in 30 days, we will gonna be rich.

My boy, all you have to do

is just hold on to that stock and wait.

I'm gonna let you in on a million-dollar deal.

All you have to do is just file your Texas transfer fee,

just a measly thousand dollars...

All right, all right, Agarn. You got your laugh.

Drinks for everybody here...

Whoa! No! Service is closed.