All language subtitles for F Troop - 2x40 - The West Goes Ghost_iris3

Ah, well, here it is.

This is it, sarge?

This is the ghost town
you want us to homestead?

You are now
standing in the middle

of downtown Paradise Junction.

Well, if this is paradise, I'd
hate to see the other place.

Ah.

Now that we know
where the hogs lived,

let's take a look at
the residential section.

Very funny.

Looks good to me.

There's a man with vision.

Yeah, 2900 in each eye.

Why don't we just
all get on our horses

and ride back to the fort?

Yeah, sarge, you had your laugh.

Oh, now, you're not
a man with vision,

I can see that.

Vanderbilt.

Sorry, sarge.

I thought that was my horse.

That's your man of vision, huh?

Wait a minute, you jugheads.

We can make a fortune here.

Selling dust.

Very good, Dobbs. I like that.

You're all forgetting
one important thing.

What's that, sarge?

This friend of mine
over at the land office

tipped me off that the railroad
is gonna run right through here.

Why are you whispering, sarge?

The rats ain't
gonna tell nobody.

If that's true, this
could really be valuable.

But how do we get the town?

It's simple. Under
the Homestead Act,

we just stake it out,
we fix it up and it's ours.

Well, I'll go along
with the plan

as long as you name
a street after me.

You got it, Agarn.

I want one named after me too.

Why do you have
to have a street...?

I'm gonna name
streets after all of ya.

Now, here's my plan.

Dobbs, you are gonna be

the town blacksmith,
barber and dentist.

Hold it!

Dobbs is all wrong
for the dentist.

What do you mean he's all wrong?

A dentist is a
doctor, right? Right.

A doctor should be
intelligent, distinguished.

A man of great dignity and
very... Very sensitive hands.

Who'd you have in mind, Agarn?

I'm warning you,
Dobbs, one more word

and I'll be the town undertaker
and you'll be my first customer.

All right, now, you
two quit arguing.

You are gonna be the dentist.

And you are gonna be
the doctor. That is that.

Sarge, you know I can't
stand the sight of blood.

What am I gonna be, sarge?

You're gonna be in
charge of the hotel.

I am? That's right,

there it is right behind you.

The Vanderbilt Hotel

at the corner of
Dobbs and Agarn.

With an address like
that, you can't miss.

What are you gonna be, sarge?

The town banker. That figures.

I'm the only one in this crowd
that understands finances.

You don't have to worry,

you'll get your fair
share of the money.

Sarge, what does the Army
think about soldiers homesteading

while they're still
on active duty?

Uh, yeah, well, you see,

we're not gonna
be on active duty.

Well, sarge, we can't all apply

for furloughs at the same time.

No, we're not gonna
apply for furloughs.

You see, Article 627 dash 3 of
the Army manual clearly states

that any soldier who has had
six years of continuous service

may legally buy out of the Army.

Buy our way out of the Army?

It's the only way it
can be done, men.

If all of you are
going to do it, I'll do it.

I feel the same way.

How about you, uh, Dr. Agarn?

Well, I sure hope my
first patient ain't bleeding.

Here we go.

Men, this is indeed a sad
day for all of us in F Troop.

Four of our comrades-in-arms

have decided to
resign from the service

and return to civilian life.

Now, I know that all of you
feel this loss as keenly as I do.

But I'm sure that
you'll all join with me

in saying to them

that while they are
going to be homesteaders,

they will always have
squatters' rights in our hearts.

I said, always have
squatters' rights in our hearts.

It's amazing the way those
jokes just pop into my head.

Amazing is the word, sir.

Now, I know this is not
according to the manual,

but because of the
distinguished service

these four men
have given F Troop,

I'm ordering the gun crew
to give them a cannon salute.

Sergeant Duffy?

Right, sir.

Cannon detail, ho!

Captain, really,
that isn't necessary.

I mean, just a simple
handshake'd do.

No, no, no. I insist
on a cannon salute.

There goes the
lookout tower again.

Never mind the lookout tower.

If they hit us, we won't
even get a military funeral.

Good work, men.

Sergeant, dismiss the troop.

Troop, dismissed!

Well, that was a very
nice gesture, captain.

It's only fitting, sergeant.

Now, just because you've
left the service doesn't mean

you're not welcome to come
back and visit your old buddies.

Really, come back any time.

Maybe you could drop by
for dinner in the mess hall.

We'd love that, sir,
but do we have to eat?

Agarn. That's very
kind of you, sir.

We want you to feel
free to drop in on us

any time at Paradise Junction.

We've even named a
street after you, captain.

You did?

That's right.

We call it Square Wilton.

That's Wilton Square.

That's right, sarge.

I guess we'd
better be going, sir.

We'll keep in touch.

Right, sergeant. I
mean, Mr. O'Rourke.

Sir, before we go

do you mind if we all
give you one final salute?

Not at all, Agarn.

Dismissed.

Dobbs, you lead Vanderbilt
over to Paradise Junction,

we'll meet you there.

We got a stop to make.

Right, sarge. I mean, partner.

Oh, just a minute, Mr. O'Rourke.

Yes, sir?

I almost forgot.

Here. Put this up over
your town hall for good luck.

Well, thank you, sir.

That is the sweetest
thing I've ever heard of.

Oh, Agarn, pull
yourself together.

The first thing we're gonna do

is put up a statue of
you in Square Wilton.

That's Wilton Square.

Yeah, right. I keep forgetting.

Hi, Jane.

Well, what have you got there?

A cannonball.

Where'd you get a cannonball?

It came through the
window of my store.

Oh, I'm sorry about that, Jane.

We were just giving the
fellows a cannon salute.

But don't worry, now,

the government will
repair any damage.

Good. The government
owes me a window,

two store dummies
and a size-44 corset.

A corset? Yes.

I think you're also gonna
hear from Mrs. McSweeney.

She was in the fitting
room at the time.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Are you sure? I happen
to make fort calls.

Never mind, Agarn. It's fine.

Janey, maybe you better
move the location of your shop.

Like over to Paradise Junction.

Never, O'Rourke.

I prefer cannonballs to ghosts.

Homina, homina, homina.

Ghosts?

Don't you know?

Paradise Junction
is the only ghost town

in the West with a real ghost.

Janey, nobody believes
that old wives' tale.

Maybe so, but a lot
of folks in these towns

have heard ghostly
screams and ghostly shots

and have seen the ghost
of Black Jack Crawford

riding through town at night
on the ghost of his gray horse

carrying a girl in a bridal gown

who is the ghost
of Maud Fletcher.

Now, that's what I
call a ghost town.

The mind of people who
drink too much corn whiskey

and see strange things.

Just last week there
was a man over at Dodge

that saw something
flying over his farm,

he said it looked like a saucer.

Well, suit yourself,

but you ain't gonna get
me to open up a store there.

Well, it's not gonna
scare us out, right, Agarn?

Sir, do you mind if I
sleep in the fort at night?

Agarn!

I guess we're gonna leave
now. So long, Janey, captain.

Good luck, fellows.

You'll need it.

Come on.

Where we going, sarge?

Up to the Hekawi Camp.

Now that we're branching
out with O'Rourke Enterprises

I'll see if I can
talk Wild Eagle

into giving us
whiskey on the cuff.

Sarge, do you think
there's any truth

to what Jane says about ghosts?

Agarn, there's about
as much truth in that

as there is in Santa Claus.

What about Santa Claus?

Hey, Wild Eagle, Crazy.

What you two doing
in those outfits?

They throw you out of Army?

We resign.

That's why we come
up to see you, buddy.

That slap on back
going to cost me money.

Can't partners be friendly?

It's going to cost me
more money than I thought.

Suddenly, we're partners.

That ain't a healthy
attitude, chief.

We come up here to
make you a fortune.

This is your lucky day. It is?

That's right. All you
gotta do is give us

12 cases of whiskey on credit.

With that kind of luck,

I better not walk
under a ladder.

Chief, you don't understand.

We're gonna homestead a town

right next to the
new railroad line.

What is name of this town?

Paradise Junction.

Paradise Junction?

Absolutely no credit.

Why not?

Never heard of anyone
selling whiskey to ghosts.

Sheets, yes. Whiskey, no.

You see that, sarge? They
know about the ghost too.

I'm gonna re-enlist.

Wait a minute.

I'm surprised at
you, Wild Eagle.

Why, I had no idea you
believed in that kind of stuff.

If we believe in happy
hunting ground in the sky,

how tough is it to
believe in ghosts?

If you're smart,
you'll not get mixed up

with ghostly screams
and ghostly shots

and the ghost of
Black Jack Crawford

riding through town on
the ghost of his gray horse

carrying a girl in a
bridal gown and...

All right. I'll get my
whiskey someplace else.

But you're gonna be sorry

when I make a fortune
in that town, Wild Eagle.

Chief, do you really
believe those stories

about Paradise Junction?

You'll be up to
your hat in ghosts.

Come on, Agarn.

You know, chief,

me never know you
believe in ghosts.

Me not believe in ghosts,

but me not believe
in giving credit either.

Ah, looks like Dobbs and
Vanderbilt are in the hotel.

Sarge, I don't mind telling
you, all this talk about ghosts...

It's just made me nervous.

I tell you there's
nothing to worry about.

You're acting like a child.

Next thing, you want me to
put you to bed with a teddy bear.

Have you got one, sarge?

I'll be all right,
sarge. I'll be all right.

That was your horse whinnying.

How do we know Black
Jack Crawford's horse

ain't a ventriloquist?

Oh, hi, fellas. Hi, sarge.

We were just
getting ready for bed.

Good idea. We need
a good night's sleep.

We got a big day's work
ahead of us tomorrow.

We're gonna sleep in...
In here tonight, sarge?

Agarn, if it would
make you any happier,

I'll give you the bridal suite.

Did you have to
say "bridal," sarge?

What's the matter with him?

You haven't seen
any ghosts, have you?

No, but two leprechauns

checked into the
hotel this morning.

They registered as
Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

I'm warning you, Dobbs.

Come on. Leave him alone, Agarn.

He told you he didn't
see any ghosts, didn't he?

I didn't see any ghosts either.

There. Does that
make you feel better?

He can't see people.
How's he gonna see ghosts?

What's he talking about, sarge?

Never mind him.

His imagination is just
running loose with him again.

Agarn, that was just the wind
blowing the shutter. Here, here.

You sure are jumpy, Agarn.

One more word, Dobbs,

and I'm gonna jump all over you.

Now, wait a minute.
Let's got some sleep.

You'll feel better
in the morning.

Okay, sarge.

You can sleep on that chair.

I fixed it up for you.

Thanks, Vanderbilt.

What are you doing, sarge?

We're not gonna
sleep with the lights on.

I wanna read.

We haven't got any books.

Then I wanna write. Agarn.

Fellas, can we get some sleep?

Yeah, let's go to
sleep. I'm tired.

Good night. Good night, men.

Good night.

What was that?

Agarn, that was the
wind blowing open a door.

Anybody come in?

Nobody came in.
Now, go to sleep.

Okay, sarge.

Did you hear that, sarge?

Agarn, I can promise you
that Black Jack Crawford

is not riding through
this town on a pussycat.

Now, go to sleep, all
of you. That's an order!

You're right.

All right. Everybody up, men.

Got a big day ahead of us, huh?

All right, how about that?
Not one ghost last night.

I know, sarge.

I didn't sleep a
wink last night.

Oh, fine. You're gonna
be a big help today.

Well, don't worry
about me, sarge.

I'll be all right as soon
as I get my eyes to focus.

We've got another
Vanderbilt on our hands.

You're asking for it.

All right, never mind.

There's a water pump out
back that still works, I think.

And then we'll have some chow.

Hey, sarge, the captain
gave me my bugle.

Could I blow "Assembly"
again just for old times' sake?

Anything you want, Dobbs.

Attention!

Troop all present
and accounted for, sir.

Fine, sergeant.

No special orders
today, Sgt. Duffy.

Just have the men go
about their routine duties.

All right, sir.
Troop, dismissed!

Well, I wanna
compliment you, Duffy.

You're doing a good job.

Of course, you had a
fine example to follow

in Sgt. O'Rourke.

Right you are, sir.

I also had a fine
example at the Alamo.

Did I ever tell
you about the time

I was with Davy Crockett? Yeah.

There we were,
backs to the wall.

Completely surrounded
by the enemy.

Cannonballs
falling everywhere...

Yes, yes. You told
me, Duffy. You told me.

Speaking of cannonballs,
here comes Jane.

Carry on, sergeant.

They did it again, Wilton.

Did it come through
your fitting room?

No, it landed in
Mrs. Duncan's bustle.

I'll have to give that gun crew
some extra target practice.

Wilton, that's not gonna help.

You've got to get O'Rourke
and the other men back.

At least they can hit the tower.

I'd give anything in the
world to get them back,

but I'm just going
to have to get along

with the men I have.

Well, if this keeps up,

I might go to Paradise
Junction after all.

I'd rather be scared to
death than shot to death.

Oh, thank you, Janey. Thank you.

Anything important, Wilton?

No, no, I just have
to send a detail

to guard a group of railroad
surveyors at Redwood City.

Well, I'll see ya later.

Wait a minute, Jane.

Do you realize what this means?

Yes. If you send
the cannon crew,

they'll wipe out the railroad.

That's the point. The railroad
is now going to Redwood City

and not Paradise Junction.

I wonder if O'Rourke knows that?

'Course not, but I'm going
to ride over there right now

and tell him and they'll be
back in F Troop by sundown.

Wilton, I wouldn't do that.

I can't let them
homestead that ghost town.

Without the railroad, they
won't get people to settle there.

But O'Rourke and the
others might not believe you.

They might think it's a trick
to get them back in the Army.

Oh. You're right, Jane.

But I've got to get them
out of that ghost town.

Why not do it with the ghost?

What are you talking about?

Did you see the
look on Agarn's face

when I told him what happens
in that town every night?

Oh.

I see what you're driving at.

Are you doing
anything tonight, Maud?

I'm riding with you, Black Jack.

Mm!

That was a good dinner, Dobbs.

Thanks, O'Rourke.

I was so hungry I could
have eaten a horse.

You're close, Vanderbilt.
I think it was the saddle.

That was wild rabbit
stew with corn fritters,

mustard greens
and black-eyed peas.

That's what I like
about the South.

I think I'll hit
the sack, sarge.

I didn't sleep a
wink last night.

Yeah, we've gotta
all hit the sack.

I think I'll leave the dishes.

Maybe one of them ghosts
will come in and clean them up.

You're asking for it, Dobbs.

I'm so tired, wild horses
couldn't keep me up tonight.

You had to say that, Vanderbilt?

Dobbs, blow out that lantern

so we can all get
some sleep, will ya?

Right, sarge.
Should I blow "Taps?"

I'm warning you,
Dobbs. One more word.

Sarge, the ghosts!

Dobbs, light that
lantern. Nobody panic.

I'm scared.

Don't panic.

It must be our imaginations.

Now, don't tell me that's my
horse coming down the street.

Here we go, fellas.

Sarge.

Sarge, don't go out there.

Agarn, I'm scared.

You're scared?

I'm scared too, and
I didn't even see it.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know what
you're gonna do.

But I'm gonna pack
and go back to the fort.

I'm with you.

Wait for me.

What about Sergeant O'Rourke?

He's got nothing to worry about.

He don't believe in
ghosts. Let's get outta here!

Gentlemen, I want you to meet
the ghost of Paradise Junction.

What are you, some kind of nut?

I'm Harry the Hermit.

Harry the Hermit?

That's right. This is my town.

Been living here for 20 years,

and I don't like
strangers coming around.

See, he's the one that's
been scaring people

out of this town
all these years.

Well, I'm telling you
right now, it didn't work.

That's the way it goes
with the hermit game.

Win some, lose some.

The least you could do
is introduce us to the lady.

That's a dummy, dummy.

It's a shame.

You certainly make
a lovely couple.

At least, I don't think
we have to worry

about Black Jack
Crawford and Maud Fletcher

riding through town anymore.

Well, I guess we'd better get
ready to ride through, Jane.

Wilton, this is the first time
I've ever been in a bridal gown.

It's the first time I've
ever worn a cape.

It's such a beautiful dress.

I sort of hate to take it off.

Well, I wouldn't wear
it around the store

with all those cannonballs
coming through.

When you see me in this dress,
you're supposed to be thinking

of something old, something new,

something borrowed
and something blue.

I am, Jane.

If the men re-enlist,

I'm going to throw
away their old uniforms,

go to Dodge, and borrow
four new blue ones.

Parmenter, you're impossible.

You're going to make
a beautiful bride, Jane.

Oh, Wilton.

Are you sure Millard
Fillmore ain't president?

Take my word for
it, Harry. He isn't.

Now, will you douse the lamps
so we can all get some sleep?

But I've only talked to one
person in the last 20 years.

Talk to the dummy.

Who do you think
I've been talking to?

Harry, will you please
stop bending Agarn's ear.

We'll talk to tomorrow.

You promise?

We promise. We promise.

All right, I'll bed down.

Do you mind if I
talk in my sleep?

And it's back to the fort.

Hey, Vanderbilt, Dobbs, Agarn.

Harry, where are you going?

To the big city.

This is no place for
an out-of-work hermit.

Well, it certainly is a pleasure
to see you men back in uniform.

F Troop just wasn't
the same without you.

Yeah, speaking
for all of us, sir,

we're certainly
happy to be back too.

I don't have to tell you, men,
that if while you were away

some Indians had
attacked the fort,

we wouldn't have had
a ghost of a chance.

I wish you hadn't
said that, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry, Agarn.

I forgot about your
strange experience.

Captain Parmenter, I
just wanna thank you

for giving me back
my bugler duty.

Don't thank me, Dobbs.
Army regulations clearly state

that if a man re-enlists
within 30 days,

he is restored to
his previous rank.

It's all right here
in the manual...

Uh, I think this is what
you're looking for, sir.

Thank you, sergeant.

Thank you, sir.

The friend of mine
over the land grant office

told me that the railroad

was gonna bypass
Paradise Junction.

Well, F Troop
back to normal, sir.

Over here, Wilton. We
can eat right on the porch.

Jane, you pick the
strangest places for a picnic.

Well, you can't get more
privacy than in a ghost town.

I guess you're right, there.

After what happened last night,

nobody's gonna come here again.

Even Harry the Hermit
left on the morning stage.

Here, Wilton, you can start
with this hard-boiled egg.

Will you pass the
salt, please, Jane?

Certainly, Wilton.