Original subtitles

Come on, sweetheart.

Daddy's have the heart.

Come on, darling.

And do your stuff.

How much is three and three?

Come on, make Daddy proud of you.

Three and three.

Come on.

One, two... three, four... five... six.

You mean, three and three is seven?

Three and three is six.

Thunder, sweetheart. You can talk.

Oh, Daddy's having fun.

Agarn, that was me talking.

Oh. Hi, sarge. Morning, captain.

Corporal.

This is Thunder the Wonder Horse.

Smartest horse in the West.

How do you do, Thunder?

Where did you get him, corporal?

Well, I bought him from a fancy looking guy

who runs a traveling medicine show.

He passed by the fort this morning.

And he really does tricks?

Does tricks? He can count.

Yeah, we saw that one.

And also dance. Watch this.

♪ Ta-ta, ta-ta-ta ♪

♪ Ta-ta... ♪

♪ Ta-ta, ta-ta... ♪

Maybe he likes to lead.

Well... Thunder's probably embarrassed.

But you should have seen him dance before.

That horse danced?

No. The guy who sold him to me.

But he showed me how the horse dances.

Um... I'm afraid you were victimized.

I don't think I was, sir.

Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me,

I'll go check the rest of the horses.

And he's a great jumper too, sarge.

Watch this.

Let's show him, Thunder.

Agarn, you have been taken.

You, of all people.

The vice president of O'Rourke Enterprises.

The man who gave us the idea for the original Custer scalp.

Remember? We sold thousands of them.

I wasn't taken, sarge. Watch this.

Three quick strides and right over the hitching post.

Go, Thunder.

Fly, boy.

Fly, boy.

Agarn. Agarn.

Are you all right, corporal?

It's me, O'Rourke.

Okay.

Hey. Corporal O'Rourke.

Oh, no, it's sergeant.

Corporal Sergeant.

No, no. Sergeant O'Rourke. I'm your buddy.

That right. Hi, sarge.

You lost your memory there for a minute.

You didn't know who I was.

Me, forget? Never.

I never forget a thing.

Are you sure?

Sure as my name is Clyde Agarn.

Your name is Randolph Agarn.

It is?

That's right. It is.

Huh. Huh.

A little unsteady on your feet there,

ain't you, sarge?

Oh, say, that looks fine, corporal.

Good morning, captain.

Good morning. Oh. Ah... Oh, sir.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Well, I guess that takes care of that loose board.

I... Didn't you fix that board before, corporal?

No, sir. I fixed that board before.

I thought sure you fixed this one before.

Try not standing in the hot sun, sir.

I'll just return the hammer.

I thought he fixed that one before,

but he said he fixed that... one.

No.

He wouldn't forget a thing like that.

Agarn will be right with us, sir.

If he can remember where the corral is.

Feeding Thunder, huh?

Yes, I gave him some sugar.

Seems to like it.

Not as much as he likes gloves.

I thought that seeing Thunder again

might make Agarn recall bumping his head,

and bring back his memory entirely.

Well, I sure hope so, sir.

Captain. Corporal.

Corporal, I wanna talk to you

about your lapses of memory.

There's nothing wrong with my memory, sir.

Well, then, you probably remember

Thunder the Wonder Horse.

Heh. Smartest horse in the West?

That's the smartest horse in the West?

Agarn, surely you remember,

you know, the counting?

Thunder, boy.

How much is three and three?

One, two, three, huh?

Come on, Thunder boy.

Don't you remember that?

Are you feeling all right, sarge?

Maybe he remembers dancing with the horse.

Huh?

♪ Ta-ta Ta-ta-ta ♪

♪ Ta-ta Ta-ta... ♪

I danced with a horse?

No, no, no. The horse didn't dance.

♪ Ta-ta, ta-ta ♪

♪ Ta-ta, ta-ta-ta Ta-ta, ta-ta...

No wonder, sir.

He hasn't got his dancing shoes on.

What's going on, sarge?

We're just trying to get your memory back.

You've been acting strange lately.

I've been acting strange?

♪ Ta-ta, ta-ta Ta-ta-ta, ta-ta ♪

♪ Ta-ta, ta-ta ♪

♪ Ta-ta-ta-t...

Better stop dancing. It's no use.

Oh, that's too bad.

I thought I saw Thunder start to pick up the rhythm.

We're not getting anyplace this way.

With the captain's permission,

I'd like to take him up to Hekawi camp.

I hear they got a new medicine man up there.

All right, sergeant.

Not worry, O'Rourke.

Wise Owl help Agarn not to forget what he does.

Wise Owl very wise Indian...

Like medicine man for head.

He go from tribe to tribe.

Has couch, will travel.

Wait a minute. Did he help you?

Sure.

Me have many problem as chief. Much pressure.

Me see Wise Owl regular, every other moon.

Hey.

When you ask him about Thunder horse

and fall on head, like O'Rourke ask?

When I ready, Wild Eagle.

Not need partner. I work alone.

Fshh-fshh.

Continue.

Ain't nothing wrong with me.

My memory's perfect!

We see. Sometime first thought in head help to remember.

When I speak word,

you speak first word to come into head.

Okay. Ready?

Thunder. Lightning.

Horse. Saddle.

Fall. AGARN: Winter.

Not bad. Not good.

Uh... Me finish.

Me start.

Hey. This is fun. Don't stop.

Don't go. Thunder.

Lightning. What's go on here?

You patient, me wise man.

I guess I forgot.

Wise man say: "When shadow of wet bird fall on log,

time out for beaver."

Now, that makes sense.

That make sense?

Hm. You need more help than I think.

Big test.

Eh... what's that for?

Man with trouble in head

sometimes see strange picture

in simple berry blot.

Wise Owl get this from wisest Indian of all,

Roar Chick.

He call it the Roar Chick test.

What you see?

A dried skin and a berry blot.

Not see horse or thunder, or bump on head?

No, the only thing I see

is a beautiful Indian girl

in a short buckskin skirt.

Where? Where?

Right over there, next to that tree.

I like your berry blot

much better than my berry blot.

We through now.

Well, uh... What do you think, Agarn?

He don't know what he's doing.

He's a real Weird Willie.

What you think, Wise Owl?

That Agarn do many strange things.

Oh, boy.

Real cuckoo corporal.

What?

Hey!

Hey. That was a shot, Agarn.

Eh... Agarn!

Eh... Hm...

Hit the floor, captain.

Vanderbilt's not aiming at us, sergeant.

I know that.

If he was, I wouldn't be worried.

Vanderbilt!

Hold it!

Hold it!

All right.

What's going on here, men?

We were robbed.

Our money's missing.

And most of our clothes.

There must be a thief on the loose.

A thief?

Why didn't you wake me, sarge?

I almost missed the whole thing.

What do you mean? You weren't in your bunk.

Of course I was, sarge.

I was there until I just came in here.

Dobbs, you were on guard duty.

Did you see anyone on the compound?

Yes, I did, sergeant,

but I don't like to snitch.

Come on, Dobbs, boy. Don't be afraid.

Speak up. Nobody's going to hurt you.

Speak up. We're all your friends here.

Well, it was you, Corporal Agarn.

Me? Why, I... I'll break your head.

I'll wrap that bugle around your neck.

I said break it up, Agarn!

Get out of here, Dobbs.

All right, straighten up!

Here, put your hat on. Look like a soldier.

All of you, back in your bunks.

You, back to your quarters.

I should have trashed him.

Hm.

You know...

I-I hate to even suggest this, sergeant,

but...

with Corporal Agarn missing from his bunk,

and him acting so strange of late,

do you suppose that he...?

That he could be the thief?

Well, of course not, captain.

Well, Corporal Agarn is as honest as I am.

Eh, probably more than I am.

Then, there's, uh... Dobbs.

Dobbs? Oh, no.

I'm sure it wasn't Dobbs.

Yeah, it must have been a renegade

up at the Hekawi camp.

I'll go up there and check on that

first thing in the morning.

Right, sergeant.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Are y... Are you sure you haven't seen

any strange braves around the camp...?

No, O'Rourke! Not see any strange braves.

I hate to suggest this, but...

could one of your braves have snuck into the fort?

Never, O'Rourke!

All Hekawi braves honest like me.

Hm.

Probably more than I am.

Uh, not like to be field rat,

but saw one brave sneak out of tepee last night.

Who was it?

Speak up, Wise Owl.

Not be afraid. No one hurt you.

It was you, Crazy Cat.

Me take your scalp. Me wrap a tomahawk around your neck!

Wait a minute! Were you out of teepee, Crazy Cat?!

Yes. Me have fight with squaw.

What about?

Wampum, like always.

She want everything paleface woman have.

I give her many furs, but she want cloth coat.

He could be the one we're looking for.

Not think Crazy Cat type to steal...

but he does have wampum problem with squaw.

Just last week, he try to sell Old Paint.

An Indian tried to sell his horse?

Horse? Old Paint is his squaw.

Well, there's two other suspects besides Crazy Cat.

But I don't know how we'll find out

who did the stealing.

I know. Why not ask Wise Owl?

Uh...

Can you help us find out who robbed the fort?

As wise man once say:

"When fox look at sky,

easy to get bit on kneecap by toothless rabbit."

That means you'll help us, right?

Wrong. I do it for money.

Price $2 each hour until thief caught.

Wait a minute. That's a lot of money.

Him not known as Wise Owl for nothing.

All right.

But at those prices,

you gotta find the missing stuff too.

Do not worry. I'm also known as Finder Of Lost Things.

Anything missing, I find right away.

All right, good. Let's go.

W-wait a minute.

Anyone know where I put my hat?

The thief took a lot of our clothes.

And stole my wallet too.

And he took my money

while I was sleeping right in this bunk.

Well, we must find out what thief look like.

Yeah, well, that's gonna be hard to do,

because nobody's seen him.

Yeah, but the thief steal clothes.

First, we find out size of thief.

Now, what thief take?

He took a pair of my pants.

You are short. Thief must be short man.

But he took Haggard's shirt,

and he's pretty tall.

How about a tall thief who likes short pants?

Or a short man who likes long shirts?

He took a pair of Duddleson's pants,

and he's pretty heavy.

Then we look for tall heavy man

who like short shirts.

How about a short, heavy man who likes long shirts?

The thief could have a friend. A tall, heavy man.

Or could be tall thief with short, heavy friend.

How about two tall friends who like short, heavy pants?

Captain, begging your pardon,

but we don't even know if this thief has got a friend.

Never mind if he's tall and likes short shirts,

or a short man who likes heavy pants.

You're right, sergeant. You're right.

Who should we be looking for?

Look for a man who does much sewing.

Wise Owl, we're not getting anywhere this way, please.

Oh, we get somewhere soon.

As wise man once say:

"Sometimes not wise to be wise. More wise to be unwise."

Time for action.

Don't do anything that's not in the manual.

Oh, no, no.

Just have nice, simple talk with suspects.

That's all.

I can't stand it, I tell you.

I can't stand it! I can't stand it!

Blow out these hot candles!

You can't make me confess.

I'm no thief!

How you know you're no thief?

You forget much lately.

Maybe you forget you steal.

I'm not forgetting anything!

Beside, the best man in F Troop

stood up for me: Corporal O'Rourke.

Him Sergeant O'Rourke.

I guess I forgot. These hot candles are confusing me...

So you can claim you forgot.

Don't say you forgot...

All right, hold on there, Wise Owl!

I'm certain this kind of questioning

is not in the m-manual.

I'll blow those candles out.

Yes. Wait a minute.

Shouldn't go to waste.

Make a wish first.

Aargh.

Never mind the candles.

Water, sergeant. Oh.

Sure. Here we are. Water.

Heh-um.

Uh...

Let's see: "Personnel, interrogation of,

by or in front of candles."

Now, let me see.

More water.

I'll bet you didn't get anything out of Agarn.

Learn one thing.

Yeah? What's that?

Him very thirsty.

No. There's nothing in the manual

that allows a man to be questioned in this manner.

Okay. Talk to bugler Dobbs now.

Ah.

No candles.

No candles. Heh-heh.

Sure I was in a snit...

'cause the others complained about my bugle playing.

But I wouldn't get my revenge by stealing from 'em.

Now, just a minute, Wise Owl.

You... Oh...

I don't think you're allowed to do this either.

Oh, it's okay, captain, I volunteered.

I don't mind answering questions.

But you know how easily you get sunburned.

Uh. Let me see.

"Personnel, interrogation of,

by being tied to stakes." Uh...

No. The manual does not allow you

to do this either, Wise Owl.

Okay. Then I go to Hekawi camp.

There they know from fancy torturing.

Have a little talk with Crazy Cat.

I not too wild about this way

of asking question, Wise Owl.

Think you better confess, Crazy Cat.

How you like me to tell horses, "Giddyap?"

I not too wild about that idea either.

Stop, Wise Owl.

Sure this kind of questioning...

not in Hekawi manual.

Here.

"Brave," question of,

by being pulled apart by horses."

No. Not allowed.

Must get confession.

You not get it this way.

For confession,

getting there is half the fun.

Cannot believe Crazy Cat is thief.

Him honest Injun.

Could someone untie me?

Don't believe horses have read Hekawi manual.

Indians getting soft.

What happened to good old days,

when torture mean something?

Uh, this has gone far enough.

You haven't come up with anything yet.

You make mistake. Wise Owl

come up with something.

You have? Yes.

I have worked on robbery for six hours.

Salary $2 each hour.

I come up with $12.

What I mean is that you haven't come up

with anything on the thief.

Very hard. Have three suspects.

But you, the captain and Wild Eagle

all think suspects could not be thief.

You know, my grandmother used to say:

"Show me a thief,

and I'll show you a man who steals."

Your grandmother ever bump into my wise man?

Ah, we might as well give up.

No. No. I have answer.

I am sure one of three suspects is thief.

Can set trap and find out which one.

What kind of a trap?

You have money?

Well, I have $100.

Maybe you thief.

That's my savings.

This is just costing us a lot of money.

Shh, shh, no, no. Listen.

Listen to Wise Owl.

Here is plan.

We make sure all suspects know

that you have $100,

and keep it in drawer of desk.

Then we wait and see who come to steal it.

I told Agarn about that money,

I sure feel sneaky about it.

Yeah, I let it slip to Dobbs,

and I feel awfully sneaky too.

Oh, I let Crazy Cat know,

but it not bother me at all.

This is your plan. Now, what do we do?

You watch back door.

Captain, watch front door. And I hide in closet in office.

Wait a minute. How come you're inside?

I am Indian. Familiar with ambush.

Not worry about me.

Have protection.

A bow and my arrow.

I-I don't want anybody hurt.

Pff. If I shoot, I only make flesh wound.

In fleshy part of heart.

Are you gonna be all right, captain?

Oh, don't you worry about me, sergeant.

I have eyes like a cat.

I see.

Cats don't see as well as I thought.

Who is it?

It's me, Wilton.

Jane, you shouldn't be here.

I'm trying to trap someone.

So am I.

Oh. Pressing where I bumped my head.

Well, I'll kiss it to make it better.

It won't help. It won't hurt.

Just one kiss, Wilton.

It'll take your mind off the bump on your head.

All right, just one.

Okay. Mm...

Jane, you bruised my lips.

I told you it would take your mind off the bump.

Heh.

I think you better go back

to town now, Jane.

All right, Wilton.

But how about one for the road.

Bye, Wilton.

It's sure been romantic sharing a trap

with you in the moonlight.

Bye.

Wise Owl's locked in the closet.

Oh.

Thanks, O'Rourke.

Me try to shoot lock open.

Sergeant.

The money's gone.

Yeah. But whoever took that money came in and out

of that window right there, sir.

Did you see who did it?

Oh, not too clear, but sure it was Corporal Agarn.

Let's go see if he has money.

Ha-ah.

You stay here, Wise Owl.

Now Corporal Agarn is F Troop personnel,

and Captain Parmenter should handle this.

- I - believe you're right.

I'll check the manual.

How?

Uh...

Oh-oh-oh.

Never mind. Yeah.

Sergeant, let's go.

Agarn? Agarn.

He's not here. That looks bad, doesn't it?

Well, he's gotta be here.

He's only got one pair of boots... Uh...

Duddleson's wallet.

Oh, no. No...

What?

Agarn.

Here, what happened? What happened?

I got hit on the head.

Oh.

I'm afraid that's how your strange behavior

started in the first place, corporal.

And now...

we found Duddleson's wallet in your boot.

Here.

Then I am the thief. Oh.

I really have been forgetting things.

I must have stolen everything

and... forgot I did it. No.

I-I... I don't believe that, Agarn.

No, I don't either.

I do, sir.

Could you hold that?

Request captain's permission to escape.

Wait, corporal!

I didn't give you permission!

It's all right, captain. Let him go.

He's not the thief anyway.

Oh?

No. But I think I know who is.

Well, you were certainly wrong about Agarn.

We didn't find anything.

We searched under his mattress,

in his foot locker...

You no not look in Agarn's left boot

and find wallet of trooper?

Ah-ha, how did you know that there was

a trooper's wallet in his left boot?

Just wild guess.

Ah-ha. I say that you're wrong.

I say you're the thief.

You put that wallet in his boot,

and then tried to pin it on Agarn.

I hope you can prove this, sergeant.

I-I hope not so.

According to the Indian treaties

they can sue us for defamation of character.

I can prove it, sir.

Do you remember that I had to use a sword

and break him out of that closet?

Yes.

If that closet was locked from the outside,

why wasn't the key in the lock?

- Ah. - So...

All we have to do is search Wise Owl.

And if he has the key, that he really is the thief.

No one move.

I guess this mean I not get paid for finding thief.

I don't think you're entitled to payment.

However, I'll check the manual.

Never mind. As wise man once say:

"When all look dark and everything go against you,

just hold head up high...

and run for door."

Well, heh. Agarn got him, sir.

Agarn? How? Yeah.

By forgetting to fix that loose board on the porch.

Oh.

So Wise Owl had all the loot in his tepee?

Yeah. Wild Eagle checked with the other tribes

and found out why Wise Owl is so good

as a finder of lost things.

Why?

Heh. Because he finds them before they're lost.

Sure glad I got my memory back

when Wise Owl slugged me.

We'll make the hitch rack this time, Thunder.

Watch it, Agarn.

You lost your memory

when you got flung off that horse.

Oh, I'm sure it was just one of those things.

Just one of those crazy flings.

Yeah. Just one of those things.

Go, Thunder. Fly, boy!

Oh. Are you all right, corporal?

Hey. It's me, O'Rourke.

Ah. Corporal O'Rourke.

No, uh, sergeant.

Ah, Corporal Sergeant.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Here we go again.

Up.