Original subtitles

One minute.

It's open.

Jeff?

Jeff?

Come to the kitchen, Joey. My dad left me something.

Left me something?

Hi,

Joey. Oh, hey, Venus. Hey, where's your dad?

He said he was going to the store and he would be back soon.

Well, he texted me and he said that there's some documents to go over, but

made it sound like it was a rush. Why would he leave?

I might have been the one to text you.

Venus, why would you text me?

Joey, there's something I wanted to tell you. That's why I brought you over

here. What's that, Venus?

Well... Uh -oh.

What's that for?

Well, it's Valentine's Day, and I figured that maybe you could be my

and we could go on a date.

That's kind of weird. I'm like an uncle to you.

I know, but I don't have anybody else, and it's Valentine's Day.

Well, that's really sweet, but I don't think I can accept that.

You know, I was really embarrassed to do this, and I built up the courage

because it's Valentine's Day.

No, I can't do this.

You gotta be kidding me. I'm like old enough to be your uncle.

I'm like your uncle. Me and your dad are best friends.

There's no way this would work.

No way at all.

Steve, it's Valentine's Day.

Are you sure? You're like playing some kind of gag.

Is there like a camera or something? Like, for real.

Could you imagine your dad?

I mean, you didn't really think this out, did you?

I'm like twice your age.

Come on, Joey.

I see the way you look at me. I look at you the same.

So, what's the problem?

What?

Look, this is all so sweet and everything, but your dad is my business

You're his daughter, and this would not be appropriate.

Chocolate? I freaking don't like chocolates anyways.

And this? What is this supposed to be? Some cute little poem talking about how

we should be together or something?

This is my new love poem.

Well, this has got to end now.

Anyways, this is so crazy. You know what?

I'm going to have to call your dad.

You wouldn't.

I'm going to have to. I have to tell him about this. This is crazy.

This can ruin everything we have going on.

I don't even know what I'm going to do.

Joey, I'm so sorry.

It's alright.

I understand. I was young once too.

It was really...

Not acting like I should.

Can I please use your phone to call my dad?

I think it would be better if I was the one that talked to him. I gotta say, I'm

shocked.

Amazing.

Years beyond your age.

Please, can I just use your phone?

For what?

To call my dad.

Yeah, I mean, it's really honorable of you to call your dad and let him know

what's going on.

I really appreciate it.

Can you go over there for a second? Because I'm still really embarrassed and

kind of want to just talk to him in private.

Yeah, sure. I'll be over on the couch.

Hey, Nana.

It didn't work.

And it's Valentine's Day and I'm still without a boyfriend, a love, or

Yeah, I still have your recipe.

The magic potion?

Will it work?

Are you sure it's safe?

All right, I'll just trust you.

I'll try it.

Joey, I just got off the phone with my dad.

He is really embarrassed by my behavior and really wants...

to go face to face with you to apologize.

But I wanted to ask you in the meantime if you wanted some tea to add

to my apology.

I'm happy that you talked to your dad.

I look forward to speaking with him as well. And you said something about tea?

Tea sounds good.

A little extra won't hurt.

I might be strong.

Double dosage.

Thank you.

No problem.

it strong and warm.

Oh, I do.

You betcha.

It's ready.

I still feel really bad, and I'm really sorry, so I wanted to give you this tea.

Oh, wow.

It smells so good.

It's a family recipe.

My nana gave it to me. It's supposed to be magic to help with any ailments or

broken hearts, if you have that.

Broken heart. I don't know, but I could sure use some magic for my bones, if you

know what I'm saying.

Is it good?

That's really, really good.

Wow. Delicious.

Family recipe. It's amazing.

Wow.

That is really good tea. Wow.

It's so good.

No, I don't feel nothing, but it does taste amazing. Family recipe, eh?

Good. Whoa.

Whoa. Did it get hot in here or is that me?

What's happening?

I don't know. It's so hot in here.

Oh my goodness.

Are you okay?

I don't know. I just started having a hot flash or something.

Whoa. Whoa.

Oh my goodness.

Wow.

Maybe I gave you too much? My pants feel like they're getting tighter.

Holy shit.

Can you take this from me?

Oh, my God.

It feels like my dick's going to explode.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, this is so embarrassing.

I don't know what to do.

It's just getting tighter and tighter. My pants are getting tighter and

What is going on? I feel so bad. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's going on.

Oh, it hurts so bad.

Holy shit.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, I got to get out of here.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God. Whoa, what are you doing?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, I feel so much better.

Oh, so much better.

Oh, so much better.

Oh, fuck.

Are you jerking off?

No, no, it just makes me feel better.

Oh, I feel like I'm going to explode.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, it looks like it's going to explode.

I'm so sorry.

It must have been the tea. Oh, my God. It must have been my Nana's tea.

Your Nana's tea? What are you talking about?

My Nana's tea, the magic potion.

Oh, magic potion.

Call your Nana and ask her what the antidote is, please.

Oh, fuck, yeah.

Oh, my God, it's swollen so much. Hurry, call your Nana.

Call your Nana. Look, it's swelling so much. Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

I'm so sorry.

I'm going to have to... Can I use your phone to go call her to get... Yeah, you

can use whatever you need to do.

I'm so sorry. I can't believe this is happening.

It was supposed to be a magic potion, a love potion, not a dick potion.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God. Do something, please.

Hurry.

Call your Nana.

Call her.

Oh, my God. I just keep swelling.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, shit.

Why are you still doing this? I'm sorry. I can't even think about where the

phone is right now. Can I go use your phone?

Anything you need.

Anything you need.

Pick up, Nana. Pick up, Nana.

Oh, my gosh.

Nana, Nana.

That potion that you gave me, it worked, but... There is something, a side

effect going on. His dick is hard and huge and we don't know how to stop it.

Help.

Oh my goodness, it's gonna explode.

What do you mean it's an aphrodisiac?

You knew that and you didn't tell me?

Oh my gosh, now how do we stop it?

Pussy juice?

What do you mean? Are you serious?

It's gonna explode. She hung up on me.

Okay, Joey.

I have the antidote.

Oh, really? Hurry up. Bring it. Bring it.

What'd she say?

What'd she say?

Oh, it's swelling up more and more.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

She said that you have to play with it or it's going to stay hard forever.

And also...

That it needs pussy juice.

What? Pussy juice?

Well, we can't do that. There's got to be something else.

There's got to be something else. You have to.

She said it's going to stay hard forever.

Oh, my God.

I told you we can't have none of that.

Just keep doing that.

I'll figure this out. I'll figure this out.

I'm so sorry.

I did not think this was going to happen.

Pussy juice?

For real?

Oh my god.

There's got to be something else.

You said pussy juice.

She said pussy juice.

I mean, maybe we can just do like a little in and out, like just the tip.

She didn't say how long it had to be.

Your dad's going to kill me. I can't do this. I need it to go away before he

gets here.

Just the tip won't hurt. It should help.

Just the tip.

Just the tip.

You've done that before, right?

You sure this is going to work?

I'm sure. She said so.

It's better than my cock exploding.

I agree.

Just the tip.

Just the tip.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

It's hot in here. I've got to take my clothes off.

It's the best thing you've said all day.

Joey, I'm so sorry, but I know you're gonna have the best time with this

It's a good pussy, I promise.

It's so nice and tight. You're gonna love it.

Before we fuck, Joey, you have to eat this pussy.

Okay.

That's gonna give me that pussy juice.

You need to be ready for your dick.

But I left something out that Nana said.

What was that?

She also said that I should probably suck your dick because you need spit.

Why did you say so earlier?

I just left it out.

You're surprisingly good at that.

Uh -huh.

You're making it feel so much better.

Yeah, so much fucking better.

What?

I'll tell you that.

Uh -huh.

It makes you feel so much better.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, fuck yeah.

There's that spit when you're... Mm -hmm.

There's that spit when you're... Yeah.

Oh, fuck you.

You know what fucking do this to you

Oh, this is better than I imagined.

I want that fucking pussy.

Yeah.

You always wanted to fuck your best friend's daughter.

Whatever would feel better.

Oh, yeah. Whatever would feel better.

Oh, that's helping so much.

Oh, God.

Oh, it's a dream, isn't it? It's not a dream, it's about it.

Oh, God.

Oh, it feels better.

Oh, yeah.

Come on, you're going to get all that fucking...

Do you want to stop, Joey?

Oh, no. We've got to go to that fucking car.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Oh,

fuck.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

It's so good to be alive.

Please don't tell my dad about this.

Oh, we could never.

We could never tell him.

You like fucking this tight with me? Oh,

it's so good.

Is it working?

Oh, yeah.

fucking explode and I want you to mind your fucking cock.

I don't give a fuck.

Well, yeah, I love talking about my daughter.

Fuck, yeah.

Fuck,

yeah.

Fuck, yeah.

Fuck, yeah.

Fuck, yeah. Fuck,

my daughter's cooking so good.

Oh, my God, yeah.

Yeah.

This is so good.

Yeah.

Yeah,

give it to me. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's what makes me come so good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, that tough fucking pussy feels so good.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that young pussy is good as fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

I want that pussy to come to my fucking club.

Oh, I want that fucking pussy to come to my fucking club.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck, yeah.

Yeah, I'm coming.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

Look at you. Get up there. Get up there.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Look at you.

That technique is so good for you.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Come on. Come on.

See?

Let's have the right magic.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Well, it's official.

I guess you're my Valentine now.

Can't wait for our date tonight.