Original subtitles

Louisa, sweetheart.

How are you doing?

Fine. So fine.

Are you sure?

I mean, not fine. Of course not fine. But, you know, never mind. Mm -hmm.

Excuse me, what is the matter with you? I was wondering the same thing about

you. Me?

There is nothing the matter with me.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Thank you so much for meeting with

us today.

All the way from Boston. Not a problem. I'm looking forward to hearing about the

position. What a nice font.

Very professional.

Is that Helvetica News?

Sorry, I'm late.

You're the one interviewing to be our doctor?

I'm trying to.

Well, obviously, this is just a formality.

Famous heart surgeon from Boston.

Wards from the AMA every year.

Accommodation a mile long. We'd be lucky to have you.

Wait, just like that, we're not going to...

Not going to ask any questions? Let's not give away our only applicant,

Small town life?

Not for most people these days.

Why don't you tell us why you want to leave the big city to come be our small

town doctor?

Well, um... Morning, folks.

We're here to break down the arch. We'll be in and out. You won't even know

we're here.

There was going to be a wedding.

Yes, mine. You were saying?

Well, I summered here as a child, as you probably know, at my Aunt Sarah's fond

memories and such.

Anyway, when this job came up, I thought it was a good time to make a change.

I'm curious about your interpersonal skills. You know, our last doctor, Dr.

I mean, he just, he always put us at ease.

Died on the job at 93.

He loved us so much he just wouldn't retire. No matter how much we beg.

Well, in terms of my bedside manner, I take people who are sick and I make them

well. And they're usually very happy about it.

Do you always conduct your job interviews in a construction site?

Yeah. You about finished there, Bert? Yep. Just shards of wood now.

Completely destroyed.

Yeah. Kind of like Sheriff Mark.

Dad, dad, dad. Too soon. Dad.

What?

Show of hands.

Everyone in favor of hiring the doctor?

Definitely.

Great. When can you start?

Immediately. Yay!

Now we have sandwiches.

Welcome back.

Hey. Sure.

That's mine.

Yeah. Oh,

wow.

Sure.

Hey, hey, hey.

Just know that this town and all the people in it are very dear to me. So the

person who is in charge of taking care of them, let's just say I'm keeping my

eye on you. Speaking of which, your left eye.

You've been experiencing any blurriness or pain?

A bit. You may have glaucoma. You should see an ophthalmologist right away.

What?

Oh.

The coffee line. That's what you were... You'll see. I'm very good at my job.

Hello. I was told to come here to... You must be Doc Martin.

Welcome. I prefer Dr. Best.

Tomato, tomato.

I'm Greg, proprietor of the Salty Breeze. Someone left keys here for me to

up? Yes.

Luis dropped them off. That's the story. Did you hear?

No, and I don't need to.

Doc Martin.

Welcome. Excuse my lobster rolls.

George is my partner in life and work and our culinary genius.

Oh, hey.

We know what it's like to be from the big city. We came from New York 18 years

ago. Finance, can you believe?

George, well... I was a chef to a very famous celebrity.

We can't tell you who.

He signed an NDA.

If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Brisket! Welcome, Doc Martin.

My keys, or the number for the health department.

Oh, yes.

Louisa. Anyway, the whole town is squawking. She and Sheriff Mark.

Hey, buddy.

Hello. Sheriff Mark. Hey.

You must be Doc Mark.

Dr. Best, actually.

Dr. Best, actually. Welcome to Port Wendt, Dr. Best, actually.

Hey. Mark. How you doing? How are you? You all right? Anything we can do to

Actually, I came to talk to you guys about Saturday.

We'll give you back the deposit. No, no, no, no. I still want to have the party.

Really? Yes!

It's the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm a free man.

It's time to party.

You see, Louisa and Mark, well, Louisa, she... Louisa dumped me two weeks before

our wedding.

Truth is, I should probably go home right now and write her a thank you. Now

everyone in town thinks she's so wonderful.

Ooh, she teaches kids, but I know the truth.

The devil lurks beneath.

The reception was going to be here.

Still waiting for my keys.

Oh, yeah, yeah, baby. In my pocket.

I'm telling you, Doc, I think he should come. Who wants to go to a boring

wedding anyway? We're going to have an all -night blowout with what? A great

creature. No.

He got plans already.

Not at all.

I like him.

He's nice.

Yeah.

You come.

Get out of here. Get out of here. Go.

Shush.

Get out of here.

Shoo. Leave.

Are you Doc Martin?

My name actually is Dr. Best.

Oh, my God. Do you mean Dr. Wurst? He's so Boston Boosie. Ooh, ooh, tell us. Is

there a Mrs. Dr. Best? What? Or maybe a Mr. Dr. Best? How is that your business?

Oh, he's definitely giving straight.

And so single.

It's so lame. If he's going to move here, can he at least be interesting?

No! No, come on!

Unbend the paper clips and then bend them back up again because it's really

satisfying. And then I might add some more rubber bands to the rubber band

because, you know, I like to add a few a day.

I like to see it grow hashtags that reasonable. Am I interrupting?

Oh, yes.

I'm just shooting my show.

Who are you?

Elaine, your administrative assistant. I work with Dr.

Reese. Oh, I'm sorry. I assumed I'd be interviewing people for the position.

Well, I just saved you the time.

See what a good assistant I am?

In this? What is this? What is this? What is this? I'm about to be a YouTube

star. I go through my day and I do my usual things, but I have Teddy strapped

me. Guess what the show is called? Bear With Me.

Darn you.

Just curious.

Do you happen to be experiencing any ringing in your ears by any chance? No.

Why? Because the phone.

Hi. It's nice to see you. You here for an appointment?

Well, yes.

OK. Step right in, then. No.

No. Don't step right in. I haven't even unpacked my car. Is this an emergency?

Well, if it isn't an emergency, I don't know what else is.

Well, if you're our new doctor, start doctoring.

All right, then.

What is your full name?

Gilbert Carlin.

And would you like to tell me what this emergency is all about? Well, Dr. Reese

would offer a cup of coffee first. Not a barista. Continue.

Well, you see, it's difficult to talk about. I assure you everything in here

completely confidential.

It's very embarrassing.

Would you like me to guess?

Erectile dysfunction?

God, no!

Uncontrollable flatulence.

Halitosis.

Leprosy. No, no, no!

The term is gynecomastia.

Nice way of saying it. I'm growing boobs.

There must be something in the water.

It's not uncommon.

Over 35 % of men have it at some point, but we should do some blood work.

Fine by me.

You know what? On second thought, I'll have you come back when I'm set up.

The needles and tubes are right there.

Look, have a juicy one. Here.

Right here.

I just walked into my office ten minutes ago for the first time. You're going to

have to come back later.

That's it?

No blood tests? No advice?

I can prescribe you a training, bro.

I have never.

Never!

Never!

You're a... You're a real charmer, aren't you?

I'm sorry.

I'm not open for business.

Oh, no worries. We're just here to welcome you to town.

Here's a whoopie pie.

I'd like to unpack, if you don't mind. Oh, and to give you our card, in case

need to make any repairs around the place. Yeah, we're a father and son

company. Seems like you might need a new paint job, patch up the roof.

Oh, and I bet that sliding door upstairs needs a look at. Oh, your concern is

touching, and I assume expensive. No, thank you.

Hey, are you going to Sheriff Mark's party on Saturday? Nope.

I'm team Louisa.

She wasn't feeling the magic.

And if there's one thing that's real, it's magic.

You're really smart.

Elaine, please come in with a pen and paper.

Here I am coming in with pen and paper.

Please take notes. And here I am taking notes.

Turn that off. It's unbearable.

Unbearable. That is a good one, Doc.

Okay, we're going to need gloves, gauze. Wait, it's weird. I feel like there was

something that I was supposed to tell you.

Tongue depressors. How's the water prepping?

Yeah, that's what that was.

The, um, the faucet needs to be fixed.

Anything else you've forgotten?

Exposed wires, hidden landmines? Oh, I really can't be sure.

How about a towel?

Yeah, cabinet on the left, top shelf.

Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks.

Okay, now I am going to eat my sandwich. That reminds me. I haven't eaten

anything all day.

Maybe I'll... Ouch!

Well, there's some saltines in the cabinet.

Or you could go to the Salty Breeze, one best lobster roll in Northeast Maine

like six years in a row.

Where's the grocery store again?

It's right in the middle of town. Can't miss it.

That's... PortWenn provisions on Main Street use code ALAIN for a 10 %

Doc Martin, welcome to PortWenn.

Well, if it isn't our new doc getting groceries just like the regular folks.

Doc Martin, oh, my God, it's so good to see you.

My son, he scraped his knee. I'm worried it's infected.

Well, come make an appointment. I'll be happy to see him there.

Since you're here. Oh, please. No, no. I mean, is this blood or pus that I'm

looking at?

Just keep it covered and dry.

Doc Martin.

Not actually my name.

Welcome to Port Wen.

I'm Susan.

Good for you. I was just wondering, I'm running a little low on a medication,

and I was hoping you could call in a refill.

Like the world is one giant doctor's office.

I'm sorry.

Dr. Reese never minded, and it is a bit of an emergency.

What's it for?

Estrogen cream, 0 .01 milligrams.

Fine.

I'll make a note.

Although I don't consider this an emergency.

Oh, I disagree.

My husband and I are very active, and without it, it can get a little bit

sandpapery down there.

Someone should warn them.

Moisture doesn't last forever.

Anyway,

thank God for the cream.

Works so well, Gilbert practically needs a wetsuit.

Wait. Is Gilbert Carlisle your husband?

Yes. And you use it during intercourse?

Comps of it.

Excuse me.

I'll send your prescription to the pharmacy.

Get off my property, psychopath.

I wanted to tell you I think I understand the problem.

Too late.

You think you can just humiliate me?

I'll go to a duct and bar harbor. Who needs you? Just please be quiet and let

explain. Fine.

Great. This will clear things up. Don't say anything.

What? She doesn't know.

Well, how does that work?

T -shirts, pajama tops, the rare pizza boy outfit.

What are you doing here?

Minor medical issue. Nothing to worry about.

How minor?

Approximately an A cup.

Well, when you say nothing to worry about, then I really do worry. What is

Fine, just tell her. Happily.

Wait.

Does your husband know about the cream?

No. And don't tell him.

Marriage has to have some mystery.

This is just great.

Well, just tell her already!

Okay.

Your estrogen cream, it's a female hormone.

You're supposed to wait 12 hours before intercourse. Otherwise, there could be

absorption. But it's all my fault.

I'm very confused right now.

You two have a drink.

Talk. My work is done here.

Here it goes.

Junk mail in the recycling bin.

Nailed it.

Hi, Doc. How was shopping?

Actually, it was very productive.

One medical whodunit solved.

Did you finish the inventory list?

Oh, I started it, but I got bored.

Also, um, you have a patient waiting. Elaine, I told you I'm not taking

appointments yet. Tell that to your patients. No, actually, that's your job.

That's your... I'm sorry, do you have... What the

flip? I have boobs!

Dude, this is getting weird.

I'm sorry. You can close your shirt.

This is very strange.

You're telling me.

So, am I turning into a chick or what?

Please, let me think.

Has to be something.

Is that a yes?

I'm turning into a chick? Do I got to get a new passport photo?

By any chance, are any of your friends or neighbors experiencing similar

developments? How should I know?

You think I walk around talking to my friends about their boobs? No, I just...

Fine. How long has this been going on for? And have there been any changes to

your diet? Uh, I became a vegan.

What a surprise.

Oh, wait.

Have you been eating a lot of soy products?

Yeah, I started eating a ton of tofu.

Hey, that's when I started sprouting these puppies.

Soy has natural estrogen, but that wouldn't explain... Are you saying Kung

tofu gave me boobs?

Unlikely on its own. Are you a heavy... Marijuana user? Sure.

Ask the guy with long hair if he smokes weed. I'm just trying to figure this

out. I'm through with this.

I'll just learn how to live with it. Stop having sex with my shirt on.

just come back. I haven't even... Hey,

Doc. Oh, I just got a call. Somebody injured

themselves at the doc. They need you to come take a look right now.

Well, is it serious? Do they need an ambulance?

They just asked if they could see you on their boat.

Do you know anything else?

Not a mind reader.

Elaine.

Yeah. You're fired.

What? You're incompetent, distracted, and just annoying.

I...

I've had this job since I was 16. You can't do that to me. And yet I just did.

Now please text me the location of this patient. You did get that, didn't you?

Hey,

everybody.

POV.

Tragedy has struck today in Port Wen.

have to pretend I'm half dead just to get a visit?

Aunt Sarah.

Don't worry.

I won't bite.

Might as well make yourself of some of you. Start banding. Me now?

Don't get hysterical. I'm sure you remember.

So, you use my name to get the job and then you don't even bother to tell me

you're here.

I've been meaning to. It's just been non -stop.

Oh, Martin, come on.

There is nothing nonstop about Port Wynn.

But I'm very happy you're here, even if you are a crap nephew.

But I sent you a Christmas card every year. What are you talking about?

Yeah, Merry Christmas, Martin.

I've banded lobsters more affectionate.

Anyway, the truth is, it's my fault that we didn't stay, that we

weren't your damn father.

What?

Never mind.

Never mind. You're here now, and we'll just make up for lost time.

Look at you.

Like it was yesterday.

Well, I am a surgeon.

So tell me, what's it like being back now after all these years?

Oh, I find the people here demanding, irrational, and far too chatty at

supermarkets.

Shop early, avoid the crowds.

That's a good idea. I'm going to steal that.

So, Martin, if you don't really like to be around people, why did you move back

here? Tell me.

What happened?

Isn't it obvious?

Someone has to look after you.

Look at you.

One gust of wind, you'll break your hip.

You did not just say that to me. You proved your point. I'm a salty sea

Now retire already. You're way too old for this.

You haven't seen me in all these years, and this is how you speak to me? I'm

just trying to be a good nephew.

Ouch!

Nasty little bugger.

You know what? It's fine. You're good. You don't need my help. You're fine.

Mark!

Did you break your hip?

Oh, you.

Yes, me.

Early riser? Just trying to avoid the crowds. You?

Same.

Oh.

You were right.

It was the beginning of glaucoma. They had me on drop, so... Truth?

I didn't know we were at war.

Excuse me.

Today was supposed to be my wedding day. Did you hear? Hard not to.

I didn't really want to see anyone, but I just really needed some turkey jerky.

We all have our crutches, I guess.

What happened was I came back from New York after a, well, bad breakup, and

Mark, he had been my high school sweetheart. We just started up again.

been together for eight years now.

Yeah, we really don't know each other. I know. You couldn't care less about me.

It's fantastic.

Anyway, you know, I always knew that it wasn't right, but Mark.

He was my best friend, and I'm sorry that I waited till the last minute to

it, and I feel terrible about that, and everyone here has an opinion.

Yes, I can see it's one of the pitfalls of small -town life. But that's the

thing. I love it here.

I love knowing my neighbors.

I lived in New York.

Everyone living in their little boxes with their little salad. That's no way

live. We both woke up at dawn to buy groceries, not a ringing endorsement.

This is true.

I mean, aren't you supposed to marry the love of your life?

The person that, when you kiss them, you get weak in your knees?

Or is that unrealistic?

Actually, I have no idea.

Have you never been in love?

Enjoy your jerky.

Gilbert, what do you want?

I'm glad I spotted you. It saves a phone call.

Yeah, not my usual routine out this early, but Susan's at her sister's.

wanted to let you know you are going to need to come in for more tests.

What? There's been a development.

I knew it was the water.

Either way, call me on Monday.

Susan!

Oh.

Spying? No, I'm just buying groceries.

You're the one who's spreading your estrogen cream up and down the eastern

seaboard.

Wait!

Susan!

Wait! Please!

Come back!

Get a life, loser.

That's it.

That's it.

That is it!

Martin, are you trying to run me off the road? Of course not. Are you all right?

Yes? Well, what has gotten you in such a tizzy?

I didn't sign up for physical assault.

Or marriage counseling. Or dog catcher while we're at it. What the hell are you

talking about?

It doesn't matter because I'm leaving, all right? I'm not meant to be a town

doctor. Because I don't like people.

I don't like talking to them. I really don't like listening to them. The only

thing I do like is cutting them open and saving their lives.

Can't even do that anymore.

Why? What happened?

I just froze.

All right?

What are you talking about?

I froze on the operating table.

Another doctor had to finish. There.

You happy?

Why?

It was...

a little girl.

Car accident.

Ruptured heart valve.

And how old was she?

She was eight.

Well, that's understandable, Martin, isn't it? After what happened to

But no reason for you to throw... I'm so sorry, but story time's over.

For heaven's sake. You haven't been here two minutes, and now you're leaving?

Tomorrow. I thought port when would be the answer, but I was wrong.

This place won't let you hide.

And that's a good thing.

Yeah. All right. It works.

Good. Let's go.

What are you doing?

Oh, kind of free moment. Thought we'd start on the door. I didn't ask for

Consider it a housewarming gift.

I mean, you know, if you wanted to give us a gratuity, we can give you a slap in

the face for that.

Hey, Doc.

Are you really firing Elaine?

She's kind of an institution.

Dr. Heath loved having her. Actually, it doesn't matter anymore because I'm

leaving. What?

Yeah, you can set the place on fire for all I care.

I'm firing myself.

Firing himself?

Best here.

Can you move it?

Yes!

I knew you could stay away!

Hey!

Listen!

We will not vanish without a fight. We're going to survive.

Today, we celebrate our Independence Day.

Bill Pullman Independence Day.

We're out of mac and cheese.

Had to pick up some shifts now that I'm unemployed.

So sorry to hear about you leaving, really.

Thought you'd make it all the way to the baked bean supper.

Magical time.

The invalid is this way.

Isn't it funny? Even Brisket loves bacon.

Georgie! Doc Martin is here to save you. Hey, Doc.

Oh, what happened here, George?

I had a tussle with the greasy floor, and the floor won.

I can see.

You think you chose for me?

I could. It looks like just a sprain. So I need you to stay off of it for a few

days, keep it elevated, and apply ice, and I'm going to show you how to wrap it

up. Okay, everybody, welcome back. We're on minute three.

Just waiting for my mac and cheese.

That girl is a star.

And then we check on the potatoes.

Love mac and cheese.

Doc Martin.

It's really important.

Yes? Gilbert wants a divorce.

Did you hear? No.

I just like to flirt.

Always harmless.

But then this one young guy flirts back.

It was really flattering.

At my age.

filling up like an apricot, feeling invisible.

If only I could be invisible right now.

Oh, Gilbert, please listen to me. It meant nothing. I'm so sorry.

You'll be hearing from my lawyer.

I was just telling Doc Martin how sorry I am, wasn't I? Oh, on and on about it.

There you are.

Don't go.

I want everyone to hear this.

Fantastic. You have nerves showing up. I was hoping you'd be here. You haven't

been answering my calls. See? I haven't been answering his calls.

I need you to know, this isn't just a hookup for me.

I actually love you.

And I don't have mommy issues.

You don't have mommy issues.

Some of my friends.

All of my friends. But it's not true.

I want to be with you. I love you so much. I even love my boobs.

Because you gave them to me. You gave him boobs, too?

Mine better be bigger.

They are, darling. So much bigger. No way.

Not the way we went at it.

Oh, my God.

Bastard.

Gilbert!

Blood. The blood.

All right, what about it?

Does blood freak you out?

But you're a doctor.

Okay, all right, all right.

Do you want a whole teddy?

You do.

Just one second.

Wow. Doctor who's afraid of blood.

See how that could narrow your options?

In case you're interested, Dr.

Reith, you would let me bandage wounds and take blood.

Just if you decide to stay, I could be really helpful to you.

Can you hurry up, please? One darn minute!

I know that it might not seem like it.

But I'm very good at keeping secrets.

You all right there?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm okay.

Are you?

Take two. Thank you.

I guess I was a little over -served.

I'm assuming you have someone to drive you home, so, you know, maybe a breath

mint and have a nice life.

Truth is, I've been covering it up pretty well, but this breakup's really

me up.

I've loved Louisa since I was 12 years old.

She's perfect. Oh, nobody's perfect.

Focus on the bad things, the irritating habits, the quarrels, some lingering

resentment. No, no, I'm telling you, Doc. She is perfect. She's kind.

She's patient. She's supportive. The only mean thing that she's ever done is

break up with...

I'm

never gonna get over this, Doc.

You can't believe I danced so I will survive. How lame is that?

It's incredibly lame.

Lame.

Love does make you do some crazy things.

Yes. Getting that impression.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That was somewhat horrific.

Thank you, Doc.

Thank you.

You really helped me, man.

I did?

Yeah.

Wait, so you're really leaving us?

Much to everyone's great relief, I'm sure.

Well, not everyone.

The way I see it, we need a doctor and you need patients. We don't all gotta

love each other, do we?

Let me get you some water.

No. No. No. No.

No. No.