Original subtitles

Elaine, you know when I said to be here at eight,

I meant a.m. right?

I had to go grocery shopping.

You couldn't have done that after work?

Ooh, watch the tone, because these are for you.

Why did you buy me groceries? What did you do?

I didn't buy them. I used your card.

I'm not an idiot. Thank you for the Kit Kats.

And the grapefruit. And the sushi.

Listen, um, you cannot go out this weekend.

Why? Am I grounded?

Hey, doc, I need your help

with something real fast.

You know how much I love and respect you.

- Does this look real? - No, Mark! No, no.

The, no. Get out.

This, however, I like.

Dr. Reese always helped me.

Does he look like Dr. Reese?

A little around the eyes, yeah.

- Oh, hi, Sugarplum. - Hey, mom.

Here's your lab coat.

Sorry about the odor.

By the end Dr. Reese did have...

a distinctive tang to him.

Um, he's not gonna do any of this.

What lunatic event is going on now?

I'm the Sacrificial School Girl.

You save me from the vampire.

- And we're done here. - Okay.

It's actually a tradition, doc.

As a fundraiser for the school,

every year we celebrate the first and worst novel

that Jeremy Gathercole ever wrote.

- The horror novelist? - Well, I call him Jer-Bear.

But that's a story

- for another day. - Stop!

When he was 18, he scooped ice cream in Port Wenn.

That's not all he scooped.

And set his first novel here. It's really bad.

It's about a wedding between this vampire,

Lord Grimshaw, and this hottie, Eulalie.

Hmm. Thank you so much for coming.

No, but it's really a trap to lure in guests

so that the Mad Scientist

can kill everyone and drain their blood.

Well, you're right about one thing.

It does sound really bad.

No, it's fun!

We recreate the book in tableaus

in the school barn! The main event's tomorrow night.

I'm in charge of makin' all the blood.

Excuse me?

Whole weekend. Lots of blood.

What's the title of this book?

- "The Blood Factory." - "The Blood Factory."

Huh. I see.

Don't worry, doc, I'm gonna change your mind.

Mad Scientist? Really good part.

Needs a very special person. Ma. Breakfast?

Oui, oui, mon cherie!

- Ma. - That's why the groceries.

That is why you can't go out this weekend.

Well, I guess I should thank you.

You already did.

Paper products are really expensive.

Do you want me to buy you toilet paper too?

Nah, I steal that from here.

Doc's office.

What?

Okay.

Uh, Liam hit his head at the school,

- and they want you to come. - At the school. Will there be--

Not yet. It's early, you're okay.

He'll be there. Thank you!

I don't know.

Board games over here, Beth.

Operation! My favorite!

Uh, let's put the "Pin The Fangs On The Vampire" up here.

What the heck is going on in here?

Oh, hi, Sarah, we're having a little "Blood Factory" party

for the wee ones.

Never too early to enjoy

a Port Wenn tradition.

I totally agree with ya.

So, what did you wanna talk to me about?

Well, it's a little delicate, so...

I know you haven't renewed your lobstering permit.

Yeah, I will, I will. I, I just need a little more time.

I know, but a little birdie told me

that the inspector's coming next week.

Next week?

Do you think he'd actually shut me down?

You know Bill. He's...

He's a rule-follower.

Listen, Sarah. If you need me to spot you a little--

No, no, no, no, no. I'll get it myself!

I mean, at the, after this weekend.

It's a big order, you know, so...

- Okay. - Um...

Anyway, I'm-I'm-I'm goin' out right now,

so... I'll be fine.

- Okay, great. - Thanks, Frank.

Hey, Franklin, where do you want me to put this?

Uh, Spaghetti and Eyeballs in the kitchen, DJ!

- Charming. - Oh...

Doctor coming through! Doctor coming through!

- Excuse me! - Martin! Martin!

Martin, over here!

- What's your name? - Liam.

Like, I wouldn't know my own name?

So, no personality change.

Okay. He's not concussed. Just a bump.

You'll be fine. Just keep icing it.

You see, in "The Blood Factory" there is this scene

where all the guests are trapped in a room

and they're all drinking...

poison.

And then they, uh, they all start to...

- Louisa? Louisa? - Hm.

- Wait, Louisa... - Oh, my gosh.

Louisa?

Oh, um...

Mm...

What's your name?

- Louisa Gavin. - Where are you?

- At school. - And who am I?

Martin.

Have you been eating breakfast? Have you been staying hydrated?

No.

There's just... There's too much to do.

- Easy. - Are you guys gonna make out?

- Liam. - Sorry!

It just looks like you're gonna make out!

How long have you had that cough?

Uh, a few days.

And have you fainted recently?

Uh, Monday. And Wednesday.

Twice this week? And this is the third time?

- You need a full exam now. - No, I don't have time.

This is not up for debate. Can-can you stand?

- I'll help. Slowly. - I really can't leave!

It's "The Blood Factory" weekend!

I think you guys should make out.

Liam!

Actually, get me out of here.

- Gladly. - Yeah.

- Oh, God, oh! - Make room, children.

Don't you guys have fainting practice to get back to?

But they were so gonna make out, right?

- Oh, for sure. - Oh, totally.

This is so silly. I'm a fainter.

I come from a family of fainters.

My grandma would be at the supermarket looking over

her coupons, and then just...

And forget about it when I'm under stress!

You fainted twice and didn't tell me?

Louisa! We're roomies!

I was just saying it's not a big deal!

Well, not a big deal?

Louisa, fainting could be a sign

of a catastrophe of health problems,

a aortic dissection, a-a heart valve disease,

you could have had a minor stroke, or a brain tumor.

What if this had happened while you were driving?

Okay, that's a little extra.

Yeah, get off the stage, drama queen.

Oh. Oh.

I'm gonna need you to unbutton, uh, this...

yeah, so I can test for arrhythmia, palpitations, so...

Right. Right.

- Sure. - What is that rash?

Oh. It, it's just dry skin.

I get it when the weather changes.

I need to moisturize.

Or with the coughing and fatigue

it could be RSV or Coccidioidomycosis.

- Here we go again. - Elaine, we're gonna need

a urine sample, and I'm gonna need to see

the rest of that rash. So, you're gonna have to undress.

I have to, I have to take off my clothes?

I mean...

Elaine will get a gown and, uh, she'll stay

in room during the... the thing,

um, the exam.

Uh, on second thought.

You know, who has the time? Lots to do. Gotta go.

- Go-gotta go. - What?

Louisa, this will just take a second!

So, kiddo... how's it goin'?

How's what going?

You know... it.

- What? - Fine. Elaine.

- Dad. - I mean, I'm just thinkin'.

I-i-it's "Blood Factory."

It's a big weekend.

You could ask her to go with you.

Actually, I might be in it this year.

Louisa asked if I would play half the Doomed Couple, so...

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

So who do you think

should play the other half?

Come on, kiddo, you gotta get in the game.

I'm sorry, but we're fully committed.

I can put you on a waiting list.

Sorry I'm late! Had a good haul this morning.

- Yay! - Sarah, do you really think

you should be workin' so hard?

I mean, you were just in the hospital last week.

For heaven's sake, I knew it.

I have one little minor incident

and everybody treats me like I'm an invalid.

Well, you can just spare your breath!

With all the tourists comin' in,

and needin' all this lobster for the Banquet of the Brains,

this is the best weekend of the year for me!

Oh! The phone's been ringing off the hook.

We're gonna sell out for tomorrow night.

"The Blood Factory" is too, I mean, I've never seen it

like this before, we're gonna raise so much money this year!

Oh-ho, sounds like we're gonna need some more lobster!

Uh, we are, but I'm wondering where the calls are coming from?

I guess word just spread how fun it is!

Gee, how much orange juice can one person drink?

I know! I just can't get enough of it...

Mm-hmm.

Salty Breeze.

I have no idea.

I have no idea.

Greg.

Why did that man just ask me when Jeremy Gathercole

will be at The Salty Breeze tomorrow night?

- I have no idea. - Huh.

It's possible I may have mentioned

to the Bar Harbor Gazette

that Jeremy Gathercole might be dining here

tomorrow night before going to "The Blood Factory."

But is it true?

Depends on what you mean by "true."

- So you lied. - Depends on

what you mean by "lied."

- Not telling the truth. - Yes. I lied.

- Greg! - I just wanna put...

Port Wenn on the map!

And make an extra buck.

Nothin' wrong with that.

I mean, it is good for the school.

See? It's good for all of us.

Shady. What gonna happen when they realize he's not coming?

You know how crazy those horror fans are.

They're, they're insane.

They're lunatics.

No!

- You are a genius. - That's the best one yet.

- Couple more, validate me! - Oh, my God!

That's gonna be perfect.

Oh, I love you!

- I love you too, liar. - Oh...

Hi! It's Louisa, leave a message.

Louisa.

Dr. Best... calling.

I can't imagine why you chose to run out like that.

But we do need to ascertain

the nature of the rash

running down your...

frontal body area.

Call to reschedule at your earliest convenience.

That's it. Thank you... for your time.

And goodbye. Dr. Best.

Elaine? We need to reschedule... Louisa.

Elaine, where the hell are you?

So, it's your basic vampire chin,

but for extra pop, put the pack in your mouth

- and then just bite down. - Elaine, who are you talking to?

Thank you so much for joining, Elainiacs...

Sorry! You weren't supposed to see this! I'm sorry! Sorry!

I'm filming a YouTube tutorial on horror make-up!

Wait.

Guess what it's called.

Blood Work?

Darn you!

- Hey, doc. Wait, you okay? - Mm. Mm-hmm.

- Listen, we gotta talk about... - Yeah.

this Mad Scientist thing, okay?

If you don't do it, I have to ask Gilbert,

and to be honest, he has a tendency to overact.

Huh.

That cough. It's just like Louisa's.

And the rash too. In my office now! Go!

Wait, doc? Are you okay?

Can I come out now?

I left my fangs in my desk.

to be the Mad Scientist? wt

It's such a good part.

You get to fatally poison the whole town.

Best not to give me any ideas.

You're hilarious.

So...

- I've got some news. - What?

Louisa wants us to play The Doomed Couple

at "The Blood Factory" tomorrow.

You mean the couple that Lord Grimshaw

captures to make Vampire babies?

Yeah.

The couple that spends all night

tied up together in really bloody, sexy outfits?

Yeah. Pretty sexy.

The roles that Christopher

and Andrea Schlitz can't play this year

'cause they're too busy taking care of their twins

that they conceived at last year's "Blood Factory?"

Yeah. Those.

Okay.

Cool.

- See ya at the library? - Yeah, I'll be there in a bit.

Dork!

Your elbow's free, Mark, give it a try sometime.

Yeah, but then I would have this, like,

really disgusting elbow.

You and Louisa have similar symptoms,

have you two been spending a lot of time together?

Yes. Lots. In the barn together.

It's been really nice.

Oh. Really? In the barn? Doing what?

- Workin' on "The Blood Factory." - Oh. Right.

And this weekend, we're gonna play the groom and his bride,

Lord Grimshaw and Lady Eulalie.

He's, like, super in love with her,

while she's not in love with him.

Yeah. That doesn't sound like a bad idea at all.

Nah. We've been doin' it for eight years.

You gotta respect the tradition, you know?

Hmm. Cough, rash. Fatigue.

You have any have any idea how old

the HVAC is in the barn?

Really old.

I mean, like, when the heat kicks on,

it makes the whole place smells like burnt popcorn.

Nobody can agree on if that's a good or a bad thing.

It could be a mutant Legionella.

Oh, doc, c'mon!

I've been dying to see that movie.

Don't we beat 'em with the robots?

I need you to spit into this.

It's not an exorcism, Mark. It's just... spit.

Thank you.

It's yellowish. You could have some kind of lung infection.

- I'll send it in for testing. - Hm.

Elaine, I need to head back to the school.

- Why? - I need to check...

- on the HVAC and Louisa. - What?

I mean, everyone. Uh, we, we need to check on everyone.

Uh, two people are showing signs

of possible Legionella, or another airborne illness.

This is seeming a little excessive, like, even for you.

It's just a precaution, I mean, everyone in town's

gonna be there tomorrow night, right?

Yeah, and even though it's the day before,

- things can get pretty bloody. - Fake blood.

I'll survive. I know the difference.

C'mon. Hurry up. Let's go, grab your things.

- Oh, oh. - Hey, doc.

Doesn't really seem like you know the difference.

Oh! Damn it!

Here. Wear this.

It was Dr. Reese's.

In case you have to...

- Hurry up. - Whoa!

Girl, you got me good!

Ooh! Not now! No!

No, no! Not now!

Not now!

And everyone heard...

- What the... - Oh, there's Al.

Why? Have mercy on my soul!

Don't let it end like this!

No, it's so dark!

It's so cold!

- Oh, hey, hi, guys! - Oh! What the hell?

That's "The Blood Factory" by Jeremy Gathercole.

I thought you said that was tomorrow night at the school!

It is, they read the book the day beforehand

- to get everyone in the mood. - And that's his book?

- Yeah. - Well, it's terrible writing.

Well Gathercole wrote it when he was in college.

His later stuff? Much more nuanced.

Al, like, reads books. It's-it's cool.

Can you also test for mold in an old HVAC?

- Yeah. - Good. Let's go.

Hey, it could be bad in there.

Please get Louisa out here. Al.

- Yeah. - I-I need you to go inside...

and check for any signs of mold

and standing water in the HVAC.

Okay. Got it. Yeah.

Can I help you, World's Greatest MD?

- Yes. Um. Spit. - What?

You and Mark are both exhibiting symptoms

of an airborne illness, I'm just ruling things out.

And you had to come all the way here, now, to do this?

If you'd let me examine you when you were in my office,

I wouldn't have to be here, would I?

Fine!

- It's not yellow. - See? I'm fine.

Sorry.

So itchy...

- Right? - W-w-wait! Let me see that!

Oh, my God, you're being creepy again.

Three more rashes.

- And coughs. - Th-th-there...

There is water pooling there, doc.

Okay! Everyone needs to spit in cups! Now!

- Spit? - Spit in that

- little ketchup cup. - It's...

It's not just for ketchup, Liam,

it's for samples too!

Okay, rude.

Hey, Karla.

I need some ice.

Oh, that old bad back acting up again?

Who you calling old?

Jeez.

Well, that's quite a view.

Look what crawled out of the bait bucket,

Eddie McCroy as I live and breathe.

Is he botherin' you, Sarah?

No, no, I can handle him. But thanks.

So...

- You got my message? - Sure did.

Knew you couldn't stop thinkin' about me.

Pump your brakes.

I got a big weekend. I need some help with that catch.

Hm. I'll help.

Glad you realize you need me.

Need's a strong word. This is a business deal.

I'll give you ten percent.

- Sixty. - Twenty.

Nothin'. And you let me take you out to dinner.

I wouldn't be caught dead dining with a pecker!

It's Woodpecker, and you know it.

Twenty percent. That's my final offer.

Take it or I'll find somebody else.

Fine... it's a deal.

Hm.

Go Woodpeckers!

Give me that ice!

Sorry!

Sorry.

I'm getting time and a half for this.

Half of these sputum samples are yellowish.

Okay, that's it, I'm shutting down

"The Blood Factory" until we could determine

- it's not Legionella. - What?

- You can't do that. - Sorry. You heard me.

- I have no other choice. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Absolutely not! Not, not this time.

Excuse me? You're going against the doctor's orders?

We listened to you about the Baked Bean Supper

and The Salty Breeze, but not this.

I will not let you shut down

our biggest fundraiser of the year over some hunch.

A hunch? Have you taken a look at this leprosy colony here?

That's offensive to the leprosy community.

Louisa, you fainted three times.

- That's very worrisome. - To who? Not me.

Look at this face, I'm not worried.

To me! As your doctor!

Well, you're not, y-y-you're not

my doctor anymore. How about, how about that?

You're, you're fired.

What? That's incredibly...

- What? What? No, it's not. - Irresponsible.

I'll see someone in Bar Harbor.

You're not my doctor anymore and we're not shutting down

"The Blood Factory" until the tests come back!

That is medically reckless,

irresponsible, and just childish!

Yeah, they should definitely make out.

I'm getting an enemies-to-lovers thing for sure.

What...

Peter, what... what do you think you're doing?

We're, we're not even open yet.

- I know. But I need medicine. - Oh!

But it's private. So I came before anyone was here.

I see.

What seems to be the problem?

I hate "The Blood Factory" weekend.

Everyone loves it so much,

but I think it's stupid and not funny.

I agree 100 percent.

- You do? - Yes.

- Do you wet your bed too? - Excuse me?

Maybe not. Never mind. I have to go.

Hey, Peter, come on, please sit.

Come on. Have a seat.

Tell me what happened.

I went to bed, hearing all these stupid teenagers

screaming outside.

And when I woke up, my bed was wet.

- Hm. - Can you give me something...

so that it won't happen tonight?

Peter, it's normal to be scared.

I don't like some scary stuff.

So what do you do?

Well, to be honest, I try to avoid it.

But I don't think that's the best idea either.

That's what I try to do.

But those teenagers are so loud.

They really are.

But what we could do,

and it's just an idea,

but we could use it as an opportunity to be brave.

- Brave? - Sure.

Admitting we're scared and then facing it.

So you're not gonna give me the medicine?

Not a chance in hell.

And you call yourself a doctor.

Everyone's a critic.

Be there in a sec.

I'm just putting the final touches on my...

Oh. It's you. We're closed.

- No, you're not. - Yes, we are.

- The sign says-- - Closed.

No, it doesn't. Come on, Sally.

Fine.

How can I help you?

May I have some Vitamin C, please?

That'll be $9.99.

I just... I-I feel like I need some.

Like, like, I'm cravin' it.

Yeah, well, you do look pretty bad.

Like the guilt is destroying you from the inside out.

Maybe we could drop this now?

I mean, I-I-I'd just love to not go through this

every time I want supplements.

Louisa, if you ever get lucky enough

to experience the miracle of creating life,

I think you'll understand that there is no such thing

as dropping a grudge against someone who harms your baby.

Oh, come on. He's a grown man.

- Is he? - Mark and I are in...

We're in a good place right now.

Are you? Mark is very forgiving.

And kind. And dependable.

And smarter than his grades in school reflected.

Yeah, M-Mark is all of those things!

- I mean, he's-he's the best! - Exactly.

Do you actually think you're gonna find

someone better for you out there?

No! I mean, yes. I mean...

I don't, I don't know, I...

Never mind.

I guess I'll... I guess I'll go

to Bar Harbor for my sunscreen from now on!

And I was gonna save this for couples counseling,

but you know what, Sally?

Your relationship with Mark is overbearing

and, and a little weird!

You know she fired you, right?

Her symptoms are concerning, patient or not.

Fainting three times a week is not normal.

Yeah, you're not acting so normal either.

Did the sputum tests come back?

You have to admit. That is a creepy word.

Yes, it did. It's not Legionnaires disease.

Wait. So what's wrong with everyone?

I ask myself that every day,

but in this case I have no idea.

Hm.

I don't know exactly when Mr. Gathercole will arrive.

Especially since he's not coming.

But you're welcome to park your van here.

My partner and I are well-versed with the media.

We're both from New York.

Text when you're close. Ciao. Ciao.

He might come!

I left messages for his manager,

agent, and publicist.

- Did they call back? - Not yet.

- Greg. - What?

- It's called manifesting! - It's called lying.

And you and I both know Jeremy Gathercole is not coming.

Now I need you to be the good upstanding, righteous man

I know you are, and tell everyone the truth.

Talk to the hand.

You are so unwell.

- Hey, Sal. - Hi, doll!

Do you have the red sauce for my costume?

Yes. Right here. How's it fitting?

Like it was poured over me.

- Should I call him? - Who?

Jer-Bear. Gathercole.

You know Jeremy Gathercole?

Who do you think scooped ice cream

next to him for three months?

Three months? Like, 40 years ago?

Let's just say, it got very hot in that deep freeze.

He'll answer my calls.

- Toodles! - It's tonight!

She's not going to save you, honey.

That woman lives on her own little biscuit.

Hey, ready to practice Lord Grimshaw and Lady Eulalie?

Oh, yeah, sure.

- Hey. You look grey. - Really?

I-I am feeling a little nauseous.

Wait, your rash has gotten a lot worse.

Really? Because I am itching like a mad man.

Yeah, you really should get that checked out.

You remember the first time we did this?

And the coffin got stuck?

That was the first time that we ever...

Never mind.

Hey, I'm glad that we decided to do this.

Put aside our history for the sake

of Lord Grimshaw and Lady Eulalie.

We're kind of a institution if you think...

Whoa! So, uh, you went ahead and put on...

Oh, well, yeah, I-I just wanted to...

make sure it doesn't fall off when we do...

No, yeah! Sure! Absolutely!

I was just... I wasn't expecting it,

but it's cool,

I'm totally having absolutely no problem with it whatsoever...

What's wrong with you, why are you crying?

I don't know. I'm just feeling so emotional.

Of course you're feeling emotional!

Because like a month and a half ago,

we were about to be bride and...

Because...

- I know... - This is so weird!

I know, I-I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to say no...

- I didn't... - Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- You know... - What? What, what is...

What is, what is happen...

happ-happening to me?

Oh, God. Um... Oh, God.

Oh, God. What is happening to you?

- Don't know. - I'm gonna call Dr. Best. Okay?

Please call Dr. Best.

Hi!

I, I think something really bad is happening to Mark!

Louisa, are you okay?

No. I'm fine! It's-it's Mark!

That looks like a severe allergic reaction!

That's what I thought!

Louisa, what? Mark, have you been around...

- anything unusual lately? - Nope.

Aren't you in charge of mixing the-the blood?

- Yep. - W-what's in it?

Uh, red dye, corn syrup and cocoa powder.

That's my secret to gloopiness.

Which dye do you use?

Um, number 40. It was on sale.

Yes, because it's been recalled!

People were getting allergic reactions to it.

Th-that's what people's symptoms are!

S-so, so, it's not Legionnaires'!

No, E-Elaine!

Call an ambulance, tell them to pick Mark up at the school,

he's having allergic reaction to red dye number 40.

- Got it! - Mark, I need you...

to go outside and wait for the ambulance

and make sure someone waits with you.

No, okay, doc, but actually I'm more worried

about Louisa, she's acting super weird.

And she looks like an Etch A Sketch.

Okay, tell me what you mean, but like a grownup.

Like super grey.

No, no, no. I'm fine. Everything's fine.

Okay, I-I-I'm a little nauseous.

Yeah.

- Mark! Go! - Yeah. Okay.

Louisa, have you been anywhere near the red dye 40?

- No. So, everything's fine! - Look, uh, Louisa, look.

I-I know I'm not your doctor,

but h-have you, have you missed any periods?

Thank you for your help. I'll see ya.

No, I won't 'cause you're not my doctor anymore.

But thanks for your help.

Louisa!

Ah, ah!

Oh, my God, what happened to you?

Nothin'!

I don't know what you're talking about? I'm fine.

You're walking around like a, like a--

Perfectly healthy woman...

with a lot of lobsters to sell.

Got it, so like last time this happened,

and we still had to take you square dancing.

Yeah, it wasn't fun for any of us.

Okay, I gotta go.

I'll text you the price, pay me tonight.

Ooh!

Yeah, so...

You really are a scaredy cat.

No, I just wasn't expecting you.

- What are you doing? - What do you think I'm doing?

You're not going to "The Blood Factory," are you?

No, that's for high schoolers.

I am going to the one for kids at Legion Hall.

Good for you.

I'm being brave. Like you said.

You actually listened to what I said?

Yeah, sometimes you just have to force yourself

to do things you don't wanna do.

It's not as hard as I thought.

Get out of my house.

Louisa's pregnant?

- You shouldn't have seen that! - Well, does she know?

I guess it would be Mark's.

It's only been...

what, a month and a half, so...

That's a curve ball.

It's just symptoms. Okay?

We really shouldn't be talking about this.

Well, what's the fun in that?

And what is wrong with you?

I threw my back out. I need a cortisone shot.

- So, how do you feel about it? - I feel great.

I'm gonna enjoy being a pain in your ass for once.

I mean, about Louisa being pregnant.

What, what do you mean how do I feel about that?

I don't feel anything about that.

Why would I feel something about that?

Because you've been mooning over her

ever since the first day you got here!

Oh, uh, wha... Excuse... Mooning?

Did you say moo... No, I have not!

- I have not! - Okay.

But in case you're interested, I think you might

actually have a shot.

What?

- Really? - Never seen her smile...

at anybody else like that.

Of course, if she's pregnant, then, well, that just kinda

puts everything in the blender, doesn't it?

But it might explain her cravings.

- What cravings? - Orange juice.

- Orange juice? - Well, she says she can't drink

- enough of it. - Vitamin C cravings, grey skin,

fatigue, nausea, the emotions...

Oh, she-she might not be pregnant.

She could have hemochromatosis!

I wish you could see the relief

in your face right now.

And now you don't have to pull her out...

- of "The Blood Factory." - What do you mean?

Well, she has to eat lobster all night.

And pregnant ladies can't do that, can they?

Or is that oysters, I can't remember.

Anyways, so she's okay...

No, no, no, no. Wait, wait. What? Lobsters, oysters?

I-if that's not handled right, she could get an infection

that could kill her, I have to tell her right now.

That's just the kids getting in the spirit

of "The Blood Factory."

- Huh. - You can still catch her.

They haven't started yet.

What are you waiting for?

Life? Death? Louisa?

Here's your cut.

Count it.

Well, it's like I said before, I don't need this.

- Just dinner. - Save your breath.

That wasn't a no.

See you around...

Eddie McCroy.

Yes!

Hi. I'm Greg Garrison!

Former analyst at Credit Suisse,

Prudential, and JP Morgan Chase.

That's not on. Where's Jeremy Gathercole?

Here or The Salty Wind?

Breeze. The Salty Breeze.

The Salty Breeze!

Located at ten Main Street.

Voted Best Lobster Roll in the Northeast Maine.

We also dabble in real estate.

If anyone's looking for a little weekend getaway...

Still not on. Where's Gathercole?

- Yes! Where is Gathercole, Greg? - His plane was a bit late...

He better get here soon. We only have an hour.

He is coming though, right?

We drove all night from Cleveland!

Oh, I'm sure he'll be here any minute!

Hey, hey, can you, can you do me a favor

and please go in and get Louisa?

You crazy? I've been waiting years

to play the Mad Scientist!

Welcome to "The Bloody Factory!"

Enter, if you dare,

where you will experience blood,

matrimony, and horror!

Gilbert, please! She could be very ill!

- What? - She could die!

She will die!

She's the Doomed Bride!

Oh, God!

It's like living in a town of five-year-olds! Really!

Hey! No cutsies!

Okay, I'm here.

Reporting for "Blood Factory" duty!

I wish Mark had given me a little more notice, but, uh...

Hey. Just stand there, when they enter,

you'll say the thing about me being your bride forever,

we'll eat some Banquet of Brains,

then you'll pretend to bite my neck,

and we reset for the next group.

Oh, is this fresh lobster for free?

- Oh! - Mmm. Wow.

- My kinda "Blood Factory!" - Nope.

We need that for the show.

Louisa! Where's Louisa?

Miss Gavin! Where is she?

Oh, my God, that's stupid. Louisa!

They're draining my blood!

Come on. That's not even realistic.

That is somewhat realistic.

Louisa!

Okay. Hm. Is that okay?

Yeah.

Didn't know you were so strong.

Yeah, I carry a lot of toilets.

Oh.

- Um, Al? - Yeah.

Listen. Nothing has changed.

You know, I still need to get out of Port Wenn.

Yeah, I know.

No, I just mean, like, nobody can tie me down.

- Hm. - Or up.

Hm. Okay.

I mean, I-I have big dreams.

You know, I have lots of plans.

Yeah. Uh... You-you told me.

- And I get it. - Yeah.

It's, like, just so that you know...

- I know. - that has not changed.

- Right. - And it never will.

Yeah, I-I-I think I get it,

I think I'm a little confused on what we're--

For only The Banquet of Brains

can bind me to the Lord Grimshaw, forever.

Eat of the Banquet of Brains, Eulalie,

and be thou mine forever.

Wow. Louisa. This is her best performance yet.

But I miss Sheriff Mark.

- Doug sucks. - I can hear you.

Sorry, Mark was just more into it!

- I'm into it! - You know what?

Doug. It's okay. Let's just reset.

Not impressed, Isabel! And it looks like

you're having an allergic reaction to the fake blood.

Oh, my gosh. I am.

- They're draining my blood! - Not this again.

Just get out of my way!

Louisa!

Elaine?

Doc? What are you doing in here?

Uh, Louisa! She-she-she's sick! Where is she?

Oh, she's in the Vampire Bedroom,

but to get there, you have to go through the Blood Lab!

- Yeah. - All right.

- Uh... Doc? - Oho!

It's just corn syrup, red dye, cocoa powder

for gloopiness.

Louisa!

Eat of the Banquet of Brains, Eulalie,

- and be thou mine forever. - Oh, God!

Something's really wrong with me.

- I've to go. - You cannot go.

You are mine forever!

Someone help me. Anyone?

Help me! Help the sacrificial school girl!

I need to find Louisa, it's-it's important!

You must eat more Banquet of Brains, Eulalie!

- Hey! Stop it! Stop it! - More!

- Get away from her! Go! - What? Martin!

Martin, what are you, what are you doing here?

I had to come save you from the shellfish!

- H-how much have you eaten? - What?

- How much have you eaten? - Uh, two bowls.

Two bowls!

No, I-I have to get you out of here.

Loui-Louisa. Louisa! Oh!

Cast these slimy hands off my immortal--

- Dude! - Oh.

You okay?

Oh!

I don't know.

Just didn't feel believable.

You were so awesome!

Like Indiana Jones, when he jumps in the snake pit,

even though he is afraid of snakes!

Martin! How are you?

Answer me. Answer me.

Wait! Louisa...

Oh, she's right over here.

She's right here. No, Martin.

- Doc! - Martin!

- Louisa. - Martin? What-what happened?

- Why-why did you come-- - Uh, I wanted to tell you...

What?

I think you have hemochromatosis.

- What? - It's a blood disorder.

And that's what caused the fainting,

fatigue, rash, coughing, grey skin,

even the craving for Vitamin C.

I was worried that the shellfish might kill you.

And-and you came all the way down here to tell me that?

- Uh, Louisa. - Yeah?

I wanna...

be your doctor.

Okay!

Yes, Martin, yes!

You can be my doctor!

Louisa Gavin. She has hemochromatosis.

She needs Doxy and ceph.

I'll call ahead to the E.R.

I'm her P.C.P. I take care of her.

- Yeah, I'm her doc. - That's my doctor!

- I'm her doctor. - Bye-bye, doctor.

Take care of her!

What?

Yep. You two are in love.

Will you take care of these three nitwits?

Yeah, uh, they need cortisone cream. All of them.

Hey, you! Is Gathercole comin' or not?

Uh, his plane was late.

Not sure of his timing, uh, and I did say that, uh--

W-what did you say, Greg?

All right. Fine.

I'm sorry.

It's time I told you the truth.

Oh, my gosh!

Jer-Bear! You're here!

- Oh! - Holy crap!

It's Jeremy Gathercole!

Hello, Sally.

I've been waiting for your call for 40 years.

Sign my book!

Sign mine! It's my dad's!

Don't look at me like that, Jer-Bear.

I feel like a piece of meat.

Did you hurt your neck, sweetheart?

- It's a long story... - I see.

I have too much iron in my blood?

What does that mean exactly?

It's a mutation in the HFE gene.

But it can lead to an excessive accumulation

in your organs, which is dangerous.

You're gonna need to come here for bloodlettings

every week to lower your iron levels.

Bloodlettings? That sounds medieval.

Well, at least I don't use leeches.

Hm.

Just takes 30 minutes, that's all.

So, I sit here once a week and you take my blood.

Exactly?

- How's 4:30 on Monday? - Fine.

All right, sounds like a date!

- I need to get to school. - Yeah.

I have something to do as well.

Next patient.