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South Park
Episode 1013 - Go God Go XII
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00:00:11,651 --> 00:00:14,628
Transcript VO : spscriptorium
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00:00:17,868 --> 00:00:21,699
Traduction: Kowaio
Synchro: aAakii
Relecture : Kowaio , aAakii
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00:00:24,305 --> 00:00:28,220
www.southparknews.net
www.seriessub.com
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00:00:32,367 --> 00:00:36,152
The year is 2006, and young Eric Cartman
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00:00:36,152 --> 00:00:39,170
cannot wait for the new
Nintendo Wii to come out.
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00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:41,693
Unable to cope with the wait any longer,
8
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:44,426
Eric decides to freeze
himself for three weeks.
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00:00:44,426 --> 00:00:48,003
But a freak avalanche makes
Eric impossible to find,
10
00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:53,850
and so he remains frozen for 500 years.
11
00:01:50,331 --> 00:01:52,200
Whoa, steady!
12
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,437
This way, otters!
13
00:01:57,485 --> 00:02:00,119
This is it. New New Hampshire.
14
00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:03,387
We have risked much bringing
you here, Time Child.
15
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,931
Can it. You otters may have
evolved to the point you can talk,
16
00:02:07,931 --> 00:02:09,669
but I don't need lectures.
17
00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:12,705
Don't let the time
child out of your sight.
18
00:02:12,705 --> 00:02:14,033
He could try to run.
19
00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:15,623
We have a deal, Blavius.
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00:02:15,623 --> 00:02:16,757
As long as I get what I want,
21
00:02:16,757 --> 00:02:18,385
you have nothin' to worry abuot.
22
00:02:21,396 --> 00:02:23,417
Something is spooking the ostriches.
23
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,723
Sure. This is Monarch land now.
24
00:02:25,723 --> 00:02:27,920
Probably Jarvis probes everywhere.
25
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:29,582
Here it is! We have arrived.
26
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:30,487
Hold!
27
00:02:30,487 --> 00:02:32,146
This is it, Time Child.
28
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:35,737
The old museum of technology,
abandoned long ago.
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00:02:36,270 --> 00:02:38,891
Let's get what you want, Time
Child, and get out of here.
30
00:02:44,399 --> 00:02:45,647
Over here!
31
00:02:47,508 --> 00:02:51,595
Yeah it's here! It's
here! The Nintendo Wii...
32
00:02:52,819 --> 00:02:54,863
I've waited so long for this.
33
00:02:57,221 --> 00:02:59,398
All right, Time Child, we've
filled our side of the bargain.
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00:02:59,398 --> 00:03:01,075
Now return with us to Otter Bay.
35
00:03:01,075 --> 00:03:03,228
Sorry Blavius. I've got other plans.
36
00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:06,431
NOOOO!
37
00:03:06,431 --> 00:03:07,589
It was a trick!
38
00:03:07,589 --> 00:03:10,586
SCIENCE DAMN YOU, TIME CHILD!
39
00:03:13,303 --> 00:03:15,455
I got it! I got the Wii!
40
00:03:15,455 --> 00:03:17,645
Time Child! You've returned!
41
00:03:17,645 --> 00:03:20,483
We thought for sure you had
died in the in the Phobart plant.
42
00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:23,210
Yeah. Lucky for me the otters
believed I was on their side.
43
00:03:24,201 --> 00:03:26,595
Do me a favor: next time
I'm in a recessed biocave,
44
00:03:26,595 --> 00:03:28,424
don't send me a level 2 homing call.
45
00:03:29,649 --> 00:03:31,020
TC, wait!
46
00:03:32,341 --> 00:03:35,005
Oh I can't wait! This
is gonna be so awesome!
47
00:03:35,005 --> 00:03:36,663
Get out of my way!
48
00:03:36,663 --> 00:03:38,598
You gained the otters' trust?!
49
00:03:38,598 --> 00:03:41,008
Were you wearing an
information crystal?!
50
00:03:41,008 --> 00:03:42,199
Here.
51
00:03:42,199 --> 00:03:45,569
Science be praised.
This could end the war!
52
00:03:45,569 --> 00:03:47,374
You've done a great thing, TC.
53
00:03:47,374 --> 00:03:49,053
How can we repay you?
54
00:03:49,053 --> 00:03:50,981
Just send a maintenance guy to my room.
55
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:54,109
I want this Nintendo hooked
up to my float screen NOW!
56
00:03:55,497 --> 00:03:58,299
Come on! Come on!
57
00:03:58,299 --> 00:04:00,571
Dude, what is taling
so long! I wanna play!
58
00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:03,034
Uhh, what kind of output does this have?
59
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:06,728
This is some ancient
Super-VHS output or somethin'.
60
00:04:06,728 --> 00:04:08,648
I can't connect it to your flaot screen.
61
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:11,175
There's gotta be some way to hook it up!
62
00:04:11,175 --> 00:04:12,722
It's the freakin' future!
63
00:04:12,722 --> 00:04:14,286
It may be the future for you,
64
00:04:14,286 --> 00:04:18,683
but I can't hook up anything to a float
screen without at least a laser-7 output.
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00:04:18,683 --> 00:04:21,861
You've gotta be shittin'
me!! Science-damnit!
66
00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:24,165
I am so fucking sick of the future!
67
00:04:24,165 --> 00:04:26,210
TC? What's wrong?
68
00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:27,461
I'll tell you what's wrong!
69
00:04:27,461 --> 00:04:30,834
I've been waiting 500 years
to play the Nintendo Wii!
70
00:04:30,834 --> 00:04:33,779
And if I don't get to play
real soon, I'm gonna bust a nut!
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00:04:33,779 --> 00:04:35,496
Well, we're all glad you're back.
72
00:04:35,496 --> 00:04:37,840
I know somebody who's
missed you very much.
73
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:39,964
Come on in, K-10.
74
00:04:40,510 --> 00:04:43,629
Bark bark. Hello,
Eric. I have missed you.
75
00:04:43,629 --> 00:04:46,143
Suck my balls, K-10.
I'm not in the mood.
76
00:04:47,932 --> 00:04:50,976
Fellow atheists: the
time child has returned
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00:04:50,976 --> 00:04:55,930
with information on our sworn
enemies, the Allied Atheist Alliance.
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00:04:55,930 --> 00:04:59,311
They have started digging
for clams in sector J7.
79
00:04:59,311 --> 00:05:03,918
If we mount an all-out attack,
we can wipe out their food supply!
80
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:06,385
But, those are civilian otters.
81
00:05:06,385 --> 00:05:09,687
We cannot tolerate the otters!
Their Science is flawed!
82
00:05:09,687 --> 00:05:12,897
Their answer to the Great
Question is different from ours.
83
00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:16,215
Yes, but... sending out all
our ships at the same time..
84
00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:18,210
it would leave our city exposed!
85
00:05:18,764 --> 00:05:23,401
...That's why we have to be super-duper
sure that nobody finds out we're doing it.
86
00:05:26,676 --> 00:05:30,009
The United Atheist Alliance is about
to send out all its defense ships
87
00:05:30,009 --> 00:05:32,959
to take down the Allied
Atheist Allieance's clam fields.
88
00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:34,217
Praise Science
89
00:05:34,217 --> 00:05:37,684
This is your chance, young Shvek,
to avenge your father's death.
90
00:05:37,684 --> 00:05:38,900
Careful, son.
91
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:41,725
Just because their Science
leads them to a different answer
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00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:45,032
to the Great Question doesn't mean
we have the right to kill them all.
93
00:05:45,032 --> 00:05:49,123
No! Our answer to the Great
Question is the only logical one.
94
00:05:49,123 --> 00:05:50,794
Our Science is great.
95
00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:53,382
Let us not forget the
great Richard Dawkins
96
00:05:53,382 --> 00:05:55,971
who finally freed the
world of religion long ago.
97
00:05:55,971 --> 00:05:59,073
Dawkins knew that logic and
reason were the way of the future.
98
00:05:59,073 --> 00:06:01,982
But it wasn't until he
met his beautiful wife
99
00:06:01,982 --> 00:06:05,666
that he learned using logic
and reason isn't enough.
100
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:09,405
You have to be a dick to everyone
who doesn't think like you.
101
00:06:10,307 --> 00:06:11,755
Prepare all the troops!
102
00:06:11,755 --> 00:06:16,311
We will level the United
Atheist Alliance to the ground!
103
00:06:17,533 --> 00:06:19,605
With new Glade monvert cleaner,
104
00:06:19,605 --> 00:06:22,795
you can make your monvert
sparkle like never before.
105
00:06:22,795 --> 00:06:25,360
My monvert's never looked so clean.
106
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:29,331
God I hate future TV.
There's too many commercials!
107
00:06:29,987 --> 00:06:31,641
Agh! I'm so bored.
108
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,040
There's nothing to do.
109
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,394
Tell me about it.
110
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,503
Hey, I know! Let's crank
call people in the past!
111
00:06:37,503 --> 00:06:38,260
Huh?
112
00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:39,126
I just got...
113
00:06:39,126 --> 00:06:41,150
the Crank Prank Time Phone!
114
00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:47,467
New, from Blasbro, it's
Crank Prank Time Phone!
115
00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,582
I just dial a random
number on the keypad,
116
00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:52,747
enter a date and year on
the debilibrator, and...
117
00:06:52,747 --> 00:06:55,855
Wow! Someone from the
past is on the line!
118
00:06:55,855 --> 00:06:58,690
Hello? Is there a refrigierator running?
119
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:00,530
Well then, you'd better go catch it!
120
00:07:04,752 --> 00:07:05,518
What ?
121
00:07:05,518 --> 00:07:08,630
Uh hi. It's the year 1973, right?
122
00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:11,598
Could I speak to Al Coholic, please?
123
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,802
Crank Prank Time Phone
comes with debilibrator
124
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:18,711
antimatter fusion cone, andn
30 plain HF watt triggers.
125
00:07:18,711 --> 00:07:21,155
Warning: Crank Prank Time Phone
is for entertainment purposes only.
126
00:07:21,155 --> 00:07:22,956
Making anything OTHER than
crank calls to the past
127
00:07:22,956 --> 00:07:24,648
could affect the present
and end your existence.
128
00:07:24,648 --> 00:07:26,908
Crank Prank Time Phone is not
intended for the use by otters.
129
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:30,048
Why didn't anyone tell me
there was a time phone?!
130
00:07:30,048 --> 00:07:31,807
Why does it matter? Bark bark
131
00:07:31,807 --> 00:07:33,983
Don't you see?? If I
get one of those phones,
132
00:07:33,983 --> 00:07:37,467
I can call myself in the past
and tell me not to freeze myself.
133
00:07:38,621 --> 00:07:42,184
Then I can go back into my
time... and play Nintendo Wii.
134
00:07:42,184 --> 00:07:45,168
Bark bark. That call is
for crank calling only.
135
00:07:45,168 --> 00:07:47,642
Using it in the way
you describe is illegal.
136
00:07:47,642 --> 00:07:50,225
I care! Where's the closest toy store??
137
00:07:50,225 --> 00:07:53,562
Working, bark bark. The
Jarvanian shopping comples.
138
00:07:53,562 --> 00:07:55,709
But it is not open yet.
139
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,310
Come on! Come on!
140
00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:05,250
Store is now... open.
141
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,083
Welcome
142
00:08:06,083 --> 00:08:06,950
Ugh, finally!
143
00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:08,607
Welcome to Zeebod's Toys
144
00:08:08,607 --> 00:08:10,275
I want one of those time-phone things.
145
00:08:10,275 --> 00:08:12,840
Ahh, the Crank Prank Time Phone. Sure.
146
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,003
Now, I am required by
the state to make sure
147
00:08:15,003 --> 00:08:18,128
you know this is for
prank-calling the past ONLY, right?
148
00:08:18,128 --> 00:08:20,058
Yeah yeah, I'm only
gonna prank-call people.
149
00:08:20,058 --> 00:08:22,565
All right, that'll be 6000 credits.
150
00:08:22,565 --> 00:08:26,841
Six thousand credits?! What do I
look like to you? A Thurilian miner?!
151
00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:29,806
This is a pretty advanced piece
of equipment. It's expensive.
152
00:08:29,806 --> 00:08:32,429
Look, I have to have
one of those phones!
153
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:36,990
Oh, all right, then I
have to have 6000 credits.
154
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:40,998
Bark bark, I'm sorry, Eric, bark bark.
155
00:08:41,643 --> 00:08:43,497
How about a robot?
How much for the robot?
156
00:08:43,497 --> 00:08:44,842
Awww.
157
00:08:44,842 --> 00:08:48,507
Sorry, kid, you're just gonna have
to crank-call people in the present.
158
00:08:48,507 --> 00:08:54,198
Science-damnit! Wait. K-10, can you
access the store's sales records?
159
00:08:54,198 --> 00:08:56,922
Working, bark bark. Access.
160
00:08:56,922 --> 00:08:58,518
I want the name and address of anybody
161
00:08:58,518 --> 00:09:00,743
who's bought a time phone
from this guy in the past week.
162
00:09:00,743 --> 00:09:02,573
Working, bark bark.
163
00:09:05,293 --> 00:09:08,013
The United Atheist
Alliance has taken the bait!
164
00:09:08,013 --> 00:09:12,571
Soon they will send their ships out
to destroy our decoy clam fields!
165
00:09:12,571 --> 00:09:16,567
And while their ships are away, the United
Atheist League intends to attack them!
166
00:09:16,567 --> 00:09:18,573
Our plan has worked perfectly!
167
00:09:18,573 --> 00:09:22,137
For when the United Atheist League
attacks the United Atheist Alliance,
168
00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:24,593
we will charge in and kill them all!
169
00:09:24,593 --> 00:09:27,772
Our Science, our answer to the
Great Question shall prevail!
170
00:09:27,772 --> 00:09:31,944
Hail Science! Hail
Science! Hail Science!
171
00:09:31,944 --> 00:09:35,141
And I will personally
kill the Time Child,
172
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:38,844
and eat his entrails on my tummy!
173
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,553
I'll get it, darling.
174
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:51,518
Hello? Hello?
175
00:09:51,518 --> 00:09:55,009
Uh yes, hello? I'm calling for Mr. Wall?
176
00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:57,243
I'm sorry, there's no Mr. Wall here.
177
00:09:57,243 --> 00:09:59,170
Oh. Is Mrs. Wall there?
178
00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:01,119
Nno, there are no Walls here.
179
00:10:01,119 --> 00:10:02,951
Then how does your roof stay up?
180
00:10:04,039 --> 00:10:07,468
Oh, I see! Is this the Johnson
boys from down the street?!
181
00:10:07,468 --> 00:10:09,187
No, we're from the future.
182
00:10:09,187 --> 00:10:10,196
Very funny!
183
00:10:10,196 --> 00:10:13,480
Hi, uh, I'm a Pepper, and I'm wondering
if you'd like to be a Pepper too?
184
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,165
God darn ya!
185
00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:17,215
Yeah.
186
00:10:17,215 --> 00:10:18,568
That was a great one!
187
00:10:22,434 --> 00:10:24,529
Hello, I'm with the
cubic waste department.
188
00:10:24,529 --> 00:10:26,690
I need to check your
lowertram for inhibitors.
189
00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:29,680
Oh. Okay, I guess.
190
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:30,996
Come on in, Bob.
191
00:10:33,044 --> 00:10:35,608
All right, just let me use my tools...
192
00:10:37,376 --> 00:10:38,448
Hey!
193
00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:42,104
Haha! Stupid assholes!
I got your time phone!
194
00:10:43,021 --> 00:10:46,003
Science H. Logic! What a jerk!
195
00:10:55,344 --> 00:10:57,573
Silence, otters!
196
00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:00,006
It's the Wise One
197
00:11:00,006 --> 00:11:02,215
The Wise One speaks.
198
00:11:03,189 --> 00:11:06,567
This is not the path
we should be taking.
199
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:09,439
Will more bloodshed end anything?
200
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:14,604
Wise One, our answer to the Great Question
is the only one based on good science.
201
00:11:14,604 --> 00:11:19,347
Science, reason, is
that really all there is?
202
00:11:19,347 --> 00:11:21,473
They are not a logical race, Wise One!
203
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:24,051
They go around chopping
down trees for tables,
204
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,489
when they have perfectly
good tummies to eat on.
205
00:11:26,489 --> 00:11:27,984
How logical is that?!
206
00:11:27,984 --> 00:11:31,820
Yes! The great Dawkins said we cannot
tolerate those who don't use reason!
207
00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:35,250
How reasonable is it to eat
off wood instead of your tummy?
208
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:39,038
Well perhaps the great
Dawkins wasn't so wise.
209
00:11:39,038 --> 00:11:42,887
Oh, he was intelligent, but, some
of the most intelligent otters
210
00:11:42,887 --> 00:11:46,638
I've ever known were completely
lacking in common sense.
211
00:11:46,638 --> 00:11:51,082
Maybe, some otters do need
to believe in something.
212
00:11:51,082 --> 00:11:56,678
Who knows? Maybe, just
believing in God makes God exist.
213
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,421
Kill the Wise One!
214
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,117
Whoa, wait wait!
215
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,693
Oh God!
216
00:12:22,359 --> 00:12:23,344
Hello?
217
00:12:26,031 --> 00:12:27,192
Hello?
218
00:12:28,926 --> 00:12:29,913
Are you there?
219
00:12:29,913 --> 00:12:31,144
Who is this?
220
00:12:31,144 --> 00:12:32,429
No, no, I have me.
221
00:12:32,429 --> 00:12:34,860
All right, all right, listen!
Listen to me carefully!
222
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:36,759
You need to be patient!
223
00:12:36,759 --> 00:12:38,825
What?? Who the hell is this?!
224
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:39,747
It's me.
225
00:12:39,747 --> 00:12:42,471
- Me who?!
- Me you!
226
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:43,428
What?!
227
00:12:43,428 --> 00:12:44,761
I'm you in the future!
228
00:12:44,761 --> 00:12:47,316
You have to be patient and wait
for the Nintendo Wii to come out,
229
00:12:47,316 --> 00:12:50,310
or else you'll wake up in the future and
have to deal with a bunch of see otters!
230
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:51,669
Oh very funny, Kyle!
231
00:12:51,669 --> 00:12:53,295
It's not Kyle, it's you!
232
00:12:53,295 --> 00:12:55,272
Yeah? Well you can go fuck yourself.
233
00:12:55,272 --> 00:12:58,404
I'm trying to do you a favor,
dumbass!! Just listen to me!
234
00:12:58,404 --> 00:12:59,782
Listen to this!
235
00:13:01,137 --> 00:13:02,494
Dickhead.
236
00:13:07,225 --> 00:13:09,705
What an asshole!
237
00:13:12,961 --> 00:13:14,235
Hello?
238
00:13:14,934 --> 00:13:16,911
Butters? Butters!
239
00:13:16,911 --> 00:13:18,946
Eric? Iiis that you?
240
00:13:18,946 --> 00:13:21,369
Butters, Butters! Listen
to me! Just just listen.
241
00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:24,665
I'm about to come over to your house
and ask you to help me freeze myself.
242
00:13:24,665 --> 00:13:26,713
Do not... do it!
243
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,968
Eric, are you playing
a joke on me again?
244
00:13:29,968 --> 00:13:31,520
No! This is not a joke!
245
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,686
Whatever I say to you, Butters,
246
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:36,756
no matter how hard I try, do
not... do... what I tell you!
247
00:13:36,756 --> 00:13:38,058
But...
248
00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:40,172
but you're here right now.
249
00:13:40,766 --> 00:13:43,056
Butters?! Come on, we gotta go!
250
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,842
No! Don't listen to me!
Tell me to go screw myself!
251
00:13:45,842 --> 00:13:46,520
Huh??
252
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,337
Come on, Butters, it's gonna get dark!
253
00:13:48,337 --> 00:13:51,481
But, you're telling
me not to go with you.
254
00:13:51,481 --> 00:13:52,590
What??
255
00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:55,136
Who the fuck is this?!
256
00:13:55,136 --> 00:13:56,711
Aw damnit, just listen to me!
257
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:58,907
If you freeze yourself,
you're going to die!
258
00:13:58,907 --> 00:14:00,050
Suck my balls!
259
00:14:00,050 --> 00:14:03,580
No, you suck my balls!! Just
listen to me for one minute!
260
00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:05,515
...Okay, you have one minute.
261
00:14:05,515 --> 00:14:06,921
Right before you left
for Butters' house,
262
00:14:06,921 --> 00:14:11,850
you drank a buncha Ovaltine and put Clyde
Frog so nothing would happen to him, right?
263
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,369
Are you spying on me?!
264
00:14:13,369 --> 00:14:15,456
No, I am you, you stupid asshole!
265
00:14:15,456 --> 00:14:17,762
Fuck you, asshole. You
can go fuck yourself!
266
00:14:17,762 --> 00:14:19,595
Come on, Butters, we're going!
267
00:14:20,179 --> 00:14:21,817
Oh, all right then.
268
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:24,349
God I hate that guy!!
269
00:14:24,349 --> 00:14:26,895
My friends, the time has come!
270
00:14:26,895 --> 00:14:30,346
May Science give us the
courage to do what we must!
271
00:14:30,346 --> 00:14:33,304
Launch all defensive ships to sector J7!
272
00:14:33,304 --> 00:14:35,943
Take out the otters' clam fields!
273
00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:43,031
Sir! The United Atheist Alliance
has sent out all their ships.
274
00:14:43,031 --> 00:14:45,541
Their capital is now unprotected.
275
00:14:46,281 --> 00:14:50,551
Then begin the attack!
Science be praised.
276
00:14:58,485 --> 00:15:03,559
Kill the table-eaters! In
the name of Almighty Science!
277
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:12,839
Hello?
278
00:15:12,839 --> 00:15:14,858
Hello? Kyle?
279
00:15:14,858 --> 00:15:15,853
Hello?
280
00:15:15,853 --> 00:15:19,404
Yes. Hello, Kyle. It's
Eric. Uh, how's it going?
281
00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:21,084
What do you want?!
282
00:15:21,084 --> 00:15:23,317
Kyle, you are the smartest guy I know,
283
00:15:23,317 --> 00:15:25,837
so I think maybe you're the only
person who can understand this.
284
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:28,529
You know how earlier today I
asked you to help me freeze myself?
285
00:15:28,529 --> 00:15:31,836
I'm not going to help you freeze
yourself, Cartman! It's a stupid idea!
286
00:15:31,836 --> 00:15:33,860
No, see, I know it's a stupid idea.
287
00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:37,236
Because, I actually
did freeze myself.and...
288
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:40,775
you were right, Kyle. It it backfired
and I was frozen for 500 years,
289
00:15:40,775 --> 00:15:43,145
and now I'm calling you from the future.
290
00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:46,179
.. Uh huh.
291
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,071
No, really, Kyle, I'm I'm seriously.
292
00:15:48,071 --> 00:15:49,686
Here, talk to my robot dog.
293
00:15:49,686 --> 00:15:52,953
Bark bark. Hello, Kyle. Bark bark.
294
00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:56,386
.. I'm hanging up now.
295
00:15:56,386 --> 00:16:00,235
No, Kyle, listen! Please! I think right
about now, I'm in my mom's freezer.
296
00:16:00,235 --> 00:16:02,391
Suck my balls, fatass.
297
00:16:02,391 --> 00:16:04,948
.. I will. I will suck your balls, Kyle.
298
00:16:04,948 --> 00:16:06,634
Just stop me from freezing myself,
299
00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:10,294
and I will get down on my knees,
and I will suck your balls.
300
00:16:10,294 --> 00:16:12,304
I'll suck 'em dry, Kyle.
301
00:16:14,078 --> 00:16:16,162
Aw Goddamnit, now you've
made me miss my ride!
302
00:16:16,162 --> 00:16:18,250
My whole day is screwed
up because of you!
303
00:16:18,973 --> 00:16:21,792
Kyle? Kyle?
304
00:16:22,587 --> 00:16:24,964
Eric, I really think you
should stop calling the past.
305
00:16:24,964 --> 00:16:26,421
You could change the present.
306
00:16:26,421 --> 00:16:29,117
Well I don't notice anything
different, KIT-9! Do you?
307
00:16:29,117 --> 00:16:32,252
I guess not, meow meow.
308
00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:36,509
Hm, I see... Hey!
309
00:16:36,509 --> 00:16:37,846
Meow meow.
310
00:16:42,057 --> 00:16:43,526
- Heeeeey!
- Meow meow.
311
00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,101
- Heeeeey!
- Meow meow.
312
00:16:49,101 --> 00:16:50,670
TC! We're under attack!
313
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:51,540
By who?!
314
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:54,180
We have to get to the War
Room! It's the only safe place!
315
00:16:57,605 --> 00:17:01,607
The United Atheist League is
bombing the city! We're defenseless!
316
00:17:01,607 --> 00:17:06,178
This is terrible! I'm gonna die in the
future without ever playing Nintendo Wii?!
317
00:17:06,178 --> 00:17:08,744
Sir! The sea otters are advancing!
318
00:17:08,744 --> 00:17:10,577
They've broken through the east portal!
319
00:17:16,466 --> 00:17:18,980
What?! Three-way
phone channel onscreen!
320
00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:22,234
What are you otters
doing?! This is our attack!
321
00:17:22,234 --> 00:17:24,626
Yes. And we're attacking both of you!
322
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:27,147
You fools! This will
be the end of us all!
323
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:30,772
Then accept our answer to the Great
Question, and we will withdraw.
324
00:17:30,772 --> 00:17:33,910
Your answer to the Great
Question is illogical!
325
00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:35,486
What is the Great Question?
326
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:38,156
What atheists should call themselves.
327
00:17:38,156 --> 00:17:42,244
Unified Atheist League
is the most logical name.
328
00:17:42,244 --> 00:17:45,381
Unified Atheist Allianace
makes more sense.
329
00:17:45,381 --> 00:17:49,173
No! Allied Atheist Alliance!
That way it has three A's!
330
00:17:49,173 --> 00:17:51,077
That is the logical choice!
331
00:17:51,077 --> 00:17:55,434
So be it. We cannot
agree; prepare to die.
332
00:17:55,434 --> 00:17:57,515
Forward missiles launched, sir!
333
00:17:57,515 --> 00:17:59,101
I have to get out of here!
334
00:17:59,101 --> 00:18:02,103
Why is everyone in my past so stupid
that they think I'm crank-calling them?!
335
00:18:02,103 --> 00:18:06,209
But Eric, meow meow, you knew the
wife of the smartest man in history.
336
00:18:06,209 --> 00:18:07,252
Who?
337
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,669
Your teacher, the one called Garrison.
338
00:18:09,669 --> 00:18:12,170
Garrison? But he's an asshole.
339
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:21,249
Oh yeah! Yeah, I'm a monkey!
Give this monkey what she wants!
340
00:18:21,249 --> 00:18:23,065
Oh Ms. Garrison!
341
00:18:23,065 --> 00:18:25,569
Damnit, who the hell is calling?!
342
00:18:25,569 --> 00:18:28,090
I'll thell them... to call
you back... Oh... yeah...
343
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:33,274
Garrison residence. Can you
call... back later, please?
344
00:18:33,274 --> 00:18:35,608
It's an emergency! It's an emergency!
345
00:18:35,608 --> 00:18:36,807
An emergency?
346
00:18:36,807 --> 00:18:39,238
I need to speak to
Mr. Garrison right now!
347
00:18:39,238 --> 00:18:42,268
I'm sorry, but Mr.
Garrison has passed away.
348
00:18:42,268 --> 00:18:46,684
Mrs. Garrison is the only person here
and she's rather tied up at the moment.
349
00:18:46,684 --> 00:18:48,880
Look asshole, this is a real emergency!
350
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:53,140
Just pass the phone to whatever Garrison
wants to call himself since
the sex-change operation!
351
00:18:54,034 --> 00:18:56,481
Sex-change operation??
352
00:18:56,481 --> 00:18:57,466
Uh oh.
353
00:18:58,541 --> 00:19:01,118
Uuuuugh! You're a man?!
354
00:19:01,118 --> 00:19:02,913
Not anymore. I've been fixed.
355
00:19:02,913 --> 00:19:05,249
Richard, hold on. I can explain.
356
00:19:05,249 --> 00:19:08,883
Explain?? How can I be so stupid??
357
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:12,026
Richard, come back, please!
358
00:19:13,367 --> 00:19:16,050
Well go ahead and leave,
you atheist faggot!
359
00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:19,165
Have fun mocking God in hell! You queer!
360
00:19:20,503 --> 00:19:23,559
Mr. Garrison! Mr. Garrison!
361
00:19:28,226 --> 00:19:31,215
All right, Eric. Are you all set to go?
362
00:19:31,995 --> 00:19:35,352
Go... Right... Where am I going?
363
00:19:35,352 --> 00:19:37,411
W-we told you: we're sending you home.
364
00:19:37,411 --> 00:19:39,627
With the Crank and Wank Time Machine.
365
00:19:39,627 --> 00:19:41,006
Don't worry, my son.
366
00:19:41,006 --> 00:19:43,773
When you return to your time you
will merge with your other self.
367
00:19:43,773 --> 00:19:45,458
It's all very Zen.
368
00:19:46,013 --> 00:19:49,483
Wait... Isn't... everybody
at war over atheism?
369
00:19:49,483 --> 00:19:54,150
Atheism? No. We've learned to get
rid of all the isms in our time.
370
00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:58,601
Yes. Long ago we realized isms are
great for those who are rational,
371
00:19:58,601 --> 00:20:03,311
but in the hands of irrational
people, isms always lead to violence.
372
00:20:03,311 --> 00:20:05,961
So there is no war now in the future.
373
00:20:05,961 --> 00:20:10,120
Of course there's war. The stupid French
-Chinese think they have a right to Hawaii.
374
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,155
Yeah!
375
00:20:11,736 --> 00:20:14,815
But now the moment has come
to send you back to your time.
376
00:20:16,301 --> 00:20:20,444
We unfroze you for a purpose,
and now that purpose is fulfilled.
377
00:20:20,444 --> 00:20:21,826
And what was that purpose again?
378
00:20:21,826 --> 00:20:24,226
We explained that to you already.
379
00:20:24,226 --> 00:20:25,154
Right...
380
00:20:25,154 --> 00:20:28,246
Goodbye, Eric. I will
mess you. Squawk squawk
381
00:20:28,246 --> 00:20:30,194
I'll miss you too, COCKA-3.
382
00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:33,420
So long, Eric. And tell
everyone in the past for us,
383
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:37,044
that no one single
answer... is ever the answer.
384
00:20:41,244 --> 00:20:42,280
Noooo!
385
00:20:44,029 --> 00:20:46,920
I'm back. Wow! I'm back!
386
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,555
There you are, Eric.
387
00:20:48,555 --> 00:20:50,667
Mom! Mom, they did it!
388
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,380
Eric, you have to come home.
389
00:20:52,380 --> 00:20:54,601
You can't just wait here
for that game to come out.
390
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:58,756
No, I know. You're right, Mom.
I need to learn to be patient.
391
00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:01,913
I think I can wait three weeks
for Nintendo Wii to come out.
392
00:21:01,913 --> 00:21:04,678
But, honey, it's only September. That...
393
00:21:04,678 --> 00:21:07,206
Nintendo Wii doesn't
come out for two months.
394
00:21:07,999 --> 00:21:12,745
What? NO! NO !!!!!
395
00:21:12,745 --> 00:21:15,915
You sent me back too
far!! HEY! Do it over!
396
00:21:15,915 --> 00:21:17,352
Who are you talking to, muffin?
397
00:21:17,352 --> 00:21:18,878
I can't wait two months!
398
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,384
I can't! There has to
be a way around this!
399
00:21:21,384 --> 00:21:24,486
Hey, kid, somebody's
on the phone for you.
400
00:21:25,168 --> 00:21:26,120
Hello?
401
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:30,877
Hello? Hello? I know
what you're thinking!
402
00:21:30,877 --> 00:21:32,483
Do not do it!
403
00:21:32,483 --> 00:21:35,203
You just need to be patient
and wait the two months!
404
00:21:35,203 --> 00:21:36,354
Do you hear me?!
405
00:21:37,815 --> 00:21:40,166
...Oh, suck my balls, Kyle!
406
00:21:41,023 --> 00:21:44,650
Transcript : spscriptorium.com
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