Original subtitles

Champagne, so bubbly.

Champagne, so lovely.

Sparkling like pearls in the sea.

One sip and you can feel your heart soaring.

A trip you'll never find one bit boring.

Just like the bluest sky by far.

The ultra high, you are so much in demand.

And the champagne, you color the days with sunshine.

Champagne, the pleasure is mine.

That was a great commercial, Champagne.

Now, if all of you will adjourn to the conference room for a short meeting and

very important announcement. Please.

in the company.

Well,

I see we have a quorum present, so the

meeting will come to order.

Champagne, I'll say it again, that was a beautiful, beautiful commercial.

An award winner.

Thank you.

By the way, when will this be shown?

Six weeks, I hear.

Six weeks, nice.

Now, I have something I want to get rid of and say quickly.

The Britain Cosmetic Company now has a new vice president in charge of

merchandising.

And that vice president is champagne.

Wonderful.

So, with no further ado, dismiss.

Thank you. Good night.

Have a nice weekend.

Good night. Thank you.

Well, Vice President, how does it feel?

Well, I'm on top of the world, of course.

And a little tired.

Like winning the contest when the contest is over.

You understand.

I'm vice president because I'm the boss's daughter. But I do my job.

Vice presidents have power.

I suppose.

You know how men have always used women for sex.

Well, now women can do the same thing.

Stay there.

Eric?

Eric, would you come in, please?

This is Eric Steiger, Grafton Chemicals. I'd like you to meet Champagne, vice

president in charge of merchandising.

My pleasure, Champagne.

How do you do?

As you know, we spend millions of dollars in chemicals each year. And up

Grafton has been quite satisfactory.

But other companies want our business.

Eric would do anything to get us to sign with him again, wouldn't you, Eric?

Well, I don't know about... What would you do to get my signature on your

contract? Christ's sake, Peggy.

What are you doing?

Trying to teach you something.

I'm leaving.

Sit down.

You see?

I want him, but I don't know if he wants me or the contract.

You see what power can do for you?

Come on, love.

You're kidding.

I'm not kidding.

I want it here and now.

I don't believe this.

You know you want to see if he will.

God damn it, Peggy.

You see?

He really does love me after all.

That's good, baby.

The vice -presidents have all the funds.

When some man wants something, you can get what you want in return.

People are going to look at you differently now.

Treat you with respect.

You've worked for it.

Oh, you deserve it.

Come on, baby.

Give it to me.

Just like that.

Thank you.

I love your tongue, baby.

Come on, play the contract, baby.

I'm sure you can make me come again.

I want you on top of me, baby.

Come on.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Why'd you humiliate me, Peggy?

Why'd you do it?

I don't know.

Why?

I can't get my mouth.

Your tongue tastes so good.

You've got to open some windows and get some light and air in here. What?

You've got to open some windows and get some light and air in here. There aren't

any windows.

Well, I'm here like the agency said.

Clean jacket, jersey that shows I'm athletic.

You come about the bouncer job?

Yeah. Well, what makes you think you're a bouncer?

I was North Atlantic boxing champion, U .S. Navy.

Boxing rules don't apply here.

For $3 .50 a week, you make your own rules.

That is astounding, right?

Have you had $50 to start?

That's right.

I'm the manager. Do you smoke?

No, ma 'am.

Drink?

Very little.

Would you mind taking off your jacket?

I stay away from all white bread.

Sugar.

I take a lot of vitamins and bran and yogurt.

You can count on me for the truth.

I got told a guy with the ice.

I was North Atlantic boxing champion, U .S. Navy.

Audible discharge?

I'm afraid of no man.

Excuse me, the agency said... $350 a week.

Do you mind if I sit down?

Tell me everything about yourself.

My name is Harry Davenport. What's yours?

Cherie.

Cherie.

Cherie.

I knew a girl from Naples once named Starla.

Liked the song.

But Cherie, Cherie, that's the most beautiful of all.

Let's forget about this job anyway.

I'm more interested in what you're going to be doing for the next three days.

Cherie, I think you just knocked out a boxing champion.

I tell you what, let me pick you up after work.

And we go out for a few laughs, and then I can take you home.

Wait, someone's coming.

Someone's been to Asia. What?

Someone's been to Asia. She's just trying out her new act. She doesn't

No? No.

It's okay.

Are you that hot?

Jesus.

Look at that.

You don't do things like that, do you?

No.

I'm glad.

You shouldn't work in a place like this. It's not good.

Come away with me. I'll take you home.

Follow me.

Take your pants off, Harry.

I'm ready for you, Harry.

Champagne, Harry.

What? Get the champagne, Harry.

Okay. Don't go away.

Thank you.

I love you.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I just can't.

What are you doing? What the hell is this?

Wait a minute.

I know. I understand.

I understand.

I get it. Hey, what are you doing?

I get it.

Don't do that. A couple of lesbians.

Lesbians. You want the job, don't you, Harry?

Come on, please fuck us.

What kind of a person do you think I am?

Sure, three of my best young men within the last few hours.

I mean, I'm not sure I know exactly what you want.

All right, all right. I know, I know.

400 a week.

Jesus, send me, send me, I'll go.

I'll give it some more thought.

Goodbye.

Well, Harry, what's the matter with you then? Got a case of the cramps?

Stoney's.

He sent me to see sex perverts. I want a job.

This one woman comes out, she gets me all worked up. Then the next woman comes

out and she does... Then what did they do, Harry? What did they do to you?

They didn't make me breakfast, that's for sure.

I got the worst case of the Stonies on record.

Stonies? What are Stonies?

Blue balls. Haven't you ever heard of blue balls?

That's what I got.

Blue balls.

Every afternoon at three o 'clock...

I don't know what it is, but I get so fucking horny.

I look out of my window and I see those big diesel trucks go by with their big

black tires belching out all that black smoke into the air.

And the trees.

Oh, the trees are the sexiest of them all. The way they lean and they bend.

Cyclic trees are the best.

Come on, Harry!

Right here on me desk blotter.

You're all crazy. You're all sickos. Perverts. Sorry. Harry, I'm a woman.

And I love fucked up straight men.

Yeah? Well, I tell you what. Give me that $400 dress.

But, Harry, you don't have the experience.

Oh, no.

Careful. I'm moving.

Bitch.

You're breaking everything.

I'm in my tits, Harry. Huh?

I'm in my tits, Harry.

And it's only 3 .05.

You should come around the same time every day.

I just want that $400 piece of paper.

She turned down two or three of my best men. I don't understand.

Probably wants a fag.

This vacation idea of yours is excellent.

You've got it all, baby.

All you need is a little help with the attitude.

Did you get the contact sign? Yes, I did.

I think it was about 4 o 'clock in the morning.

I don't know what it is about that man, but... You really shouldn't humiliate

him. Are you kidding?

It gives him a chance to show off.

Yes.

Thank you. Ask him to come in, please.

Two weeks. Fresh air.

Quiet. Oh, I envy you.

Tell me about yourself, Mr. Davenport.

Well, it's very simple.

Fresh from a four -year hitch in the Navy.

Previous to that, I was in business with my brother -in -law.

Very handsome man.

It's too gorgeous to be straight.

Previous to that, I was junior college and then before that, high school.

The position is that of a bodyguard.

Mother spent thousands on ballet lessons, and I always considered ballet

similar to boxing.

I love contact sports.

So I boxed, and I decked them all.

North Atlantic champion.

Well, I'm taking an extended vacation, and what I need is someone to be near me

at all times, to wake me up in the morning, to put me to bed at night, and

leave me alone after I'm in bed.

Two weeks only, 400 plus room and board.

Sounds peachy.

Um, do you give massages?

Of course.

Hi, this is Harry Davenport. Is Mr. Swanson in?

Oh, vacation.

Well, when's he going to come back?

Monday.

Did he get any of my messages, you know?

Please tell him when he returns that I called, okay?

Yeah, and take my number. Just take it again.

Yeah, 288 -9172.

Thank you a lot.

Okay, bye -bye.

I hear it's a sophisticated bar and there's no danger.

Well, my job is to think there is danger.

Now, let me see your little unit there.

Yes, now, you must always leave this little switch on.

Right here. Yes, I'll never be more than a block and a half away.

Let me see if it works.

Testing, one, two, three.

Testing, one, two, three. It's fine.

Yeah.

Scotch on the rocks.

Yeah. What a lovely apartment.

Start the cleaning.

Oh.

That's very nice. Thank you.

This is the music of gods.

And you are a goddess.

I'll be anything you want me to be.

It's pure Chinese silk.

Veterans don't call.

world is my cock.

And tonight...

Hmm.

Yeah. Thanks.

It was indescribable.

It was good, wasn't it?

We both were.

Will I see you at the bar again?

Oh, I don't know.

Well, if I should ignore you, you'll understand.

It'll only mean I'm... I'm into something new.

Yes, of course.

Can I freshen your drink before you go?

No, just give me a few seconds to freshen up and I'll be on my way May I

you a cab?

No I hate to think of you wandering the streets by yourself

Now we're going to see how good you are.

Well, I must admit, I haven't massaged many ladies in my

life. In the Navy, we massaged each other on the boxing team.

I like it deep, Harry.

Well, the worst thing that can happen is that you fire me.

That's good.

You have a very strong back.

You know, it's none of my business, but... You know, there's no reason for

to pick up men in bars.

You're right. It is none of your business.

Ever since high school, I thought of nothing else but success.

I've been sensationally successful at success.

I've neglected an awful lot of my education.

That's why we're going to another bar tonight.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hi. Hi.

Can I buy you another drink?

No, thank you.

Have I offended you or something?

No.

I have a good job.

Women are paying their own way. There's nothing wrong with buying a man a drink.

Look, lady, you're very pretty.

And maybe I'm out of step with the times, but I buy my own drinks.

I like to make my own approaches.

And I also like to lead when I'm dancing. You understand?

Yes. I do understand.

Man I'd love to eat the crotch out of your panties You

want

me to leave any clothes on no nothing

I've never done this before.

You don't have to tell me what to do.

You don't have to do anything.

It was so funny.

I'm sorry.

It's just that your face is so smooth.

No, I'm sorry. I can't.

That's all right, honey.

It is the way it is.

Why don't you turn over here?

You let me know if this is too rough.

Mm -hmm.

Well, did you find out if you're gay?

We don't have penises.

Some of you have balls.

Yeah.

Harry? Why do you do this?

Here you are massaging a woman's body, driving her car.

Don't you want to be somebody?

I am somebody. Besides, I need the money. I'm going into business.

Really? What kind of business?

I don't know yet, but it won't be with my brother -in -law. I'll tell you that.

That's rough.

But that's wonderful.

You're as clean as you've ever been.

Where are we going next?

I don't know.

I thought maybe we'd just drive around, scout new territory.

Want to buy some gas?

No, the trouble is with my tire.

I'm only a gas person.

So, if you're with working, sure, throw them back.

But, yeah, I don't know how to work.

I'm the only one here, and I'm the, I realize, gas person here.

You got a name?

Champagne.

I'm a beer man myself.

Want a beer?

No, thank you.

Have a seat.

It's just more than a thing.

I want you to meet a friend of mine, Fred.

Fred's been with me a long time.

Hi, Fred.

Play with him a little. He gets friendly.

Don't ever laugh.

Oh, yeah. Well, there hadn't been anything to get him excited.

Fred likes wet.

Fred likes a lot of tongue, too.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, yes.

You known Fred long?

A long time.

Is that all you like? Just about.

I think you're going to make Fred very happy.

Excuse me, ma 'am. Did you happen to see a tall, good -looking woman with dark

hair come by this way?

Yes.

Did you see which way she went?

Yes.

Where?

With Tex.

Tex?

Tex where?

That's what I found you.

Something to drink a little beer out of.

Five more.

Oh, that's right, Mama.

A little bit.

You bearded lad.

Don't drop her.

the shit

Please don't do that again.

Oh, Gary.

These things have miraculous healing powers.

I only help your circulation.

You heal yourself.

Go between my thighs.

Oh, my God.

Did you see a bad bruise? No, no, I just broke a nail.

Press hard, Harry.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You know what, Harry?

Sometimes I wish you could be a woman.

So you could do all sorts of things.

What things?

What do you do?

Wash my panties and stockings.

Well, I'm not interested in washing and drying.

I'm more interested in what you do when you're with a man.

Well... Sometimes I like to yell out dirty words.

What dirty words?

Well, there's thud.

Yeah.

Thud. Yeah.

There's, um, balls.

What else?

We know.

Ass. What about ass?

Yeah.

And thighs.

Beautiful, beautiful thighs.

Uh -huh.

Cunt.

Cunt.

That's the most beautiful of all.

What about hot load?

Did you ever say, take my hot load?

No. I never said that.

You must meet a nice young man of your own about now.

Oh, yes.

How could you tell?

By the way you've been breathing.

Well, I'm going to get you a man.

Well, you don't have to do that.

You deserve it, Harry.

Pull over and stop here.

Pick me up in about three hours.

Yes. Hi, Mr. Jones. Yes, Mr. Jones. Please come in. Thank you.

Do I have a seat?

Yes. Let me introduce you to some of our friends.

This is Christopher. This is Christopher, Mr. Jones.

And this is Christopher.

And over here we have Kara and Peter.

Peter, would you turn around, please?

Thank you.

Over here, Miss Jones, we have Robert.

Elizabeth Buck.

Scott. Miss Jones.

Hello. How are you, John?

Would you turn around for me, please?

And again, please.

Turn around.

It's a pleasure to see you, Miss Jones.

You, please.

Thank you. I'm honored.

Peter.

Is Mr. Swanson in?

Harry Davenport.

Oh. Well, do you know when he'll be free?

Well, could you tell him to call me when he gets a chance?

Okay, Harry Davenport.

288 -9172.

Uh -huh.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Get up there.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Get close man, we're hot.

Get a good.

Good. All right.

Good.

No, you don't get it, man.

You like the bird hat, huh?

Hi, how are you doing today?

Just fine.

Just fine. I have found a 99 -cent special ad in here somewhere.

Oh, yeah?

Well, why don't you try the super special instead?

Now you're talking.

Okay.

Well, what you do is you drive your car around here, and I'll meet you on the

other side. Okay.

Yeah, right here? Yeah, nobody can see through the stud.

Come on.

Boy, am I ready.

I'm going to ride you to the stud court.

Better hurry, Daddy. It's only a three -minute car wash.

Are you going to come?

Daddy!

Baby, come!

I think I'm going to come.

We're gonna put a close on it.

That'll be $20.

You can pay me now, please.

$20? Yes.

I thought it was 99 cents.

Well, see, the 99 cents is for the special wash, and the $20 is for the

bus.

Well, no, the ad didn't say anything about that.

Well, do you think that I just did all that in the car?

A lousy 99 cents?

Yeah, that was very recent, though, I thought.

I'm not cleaning that.

I'll clean it.

20

dollars

for three minutes.

Can't believe it.

Nothing's real anymore.

No quality, no beauty.

You've been so good to me, Harry.

Now I want to be good to you.

This is back the surprise I promised you you shouldn't have

my cock is all yours

Hey,

are you going to be all right?

Yeah, I'll be all right.

Bye.

Look,

I said you hit her.

Oh, Jesus, God.

I guess, I don't know, my arm started swinging and I lost control.

That poor man.

Could you apologize to him for me, please?

Does that happen often?

What?

Breathing in a bag.

Only once before in my whole life.

Oh.

Here we are.

I hope you're not getting hooked on this Warhawk.

There's something more I need to know.

Don't sit up.

You have most of the day off. Just pick me up at 8 .30 tonight.

And don't be overly concerned.

It's my job to be concerned.

Mr. Lieberman, I realize you lost most of your money in the stock market.

I know that.

Look, Mr. Lieberman, we made what we felt was a sound investment based on

research, based on our knowledge of the situation.

It's just one of those unpredictable situations.

We did the best we could.

There's no way that anyone can foresee the future.

Mr. Lieberman, I have a client coming in the office right now. Let me get back

to you in about an hour.

Bye -bye.

I'm Harry Davenport.

Mr. Davenport, it's great to see you after all these years. Have a chair.

I'm Jim Swanson, manager of your account.

Say, you've built up quite a company for yourself.

Company? Quite a jiffy instant printing, of course.

Oh, of course.

Well, I came by to make my final investment payment as we arranged and

my share at the same time.

Well, I'm delighted to accept your investment.

But I don't understand anything about you receiving any share.

Well, the company, it profits, right? My share.

Certainly. In fact, your company has cleared over a million dollars.

Maybe even two million.

Thank you.

Write me a check and I'll be on my way.

Mr. Davenport, I can't give you any money.

What do you mean you can't give me any money? I gave you money every month.

Yes, that's true.

But you signed away power of attorney.

We're only authorized to make any payments to him him him

My

brother -in -law

Hey, you coming out for the track team?

I'm not fast enough.

You're fast enough for me.

Really?

Hey, you fast indoors, too?

I bet I can beat you.

I went to see Mr. Swanson. Yeah, yeah.

Well, some surprise you laid on me. I'm in a hurry, Harry. We've got to work

this out.

What are you talking about?

The company.

Yeah? Well, he wouldn't give me any of my money. I'm not your lawyer, Harry.

Come on, I'm really in a hurry.

When did I sign power of attorney over to you?

Remember that paper you gave to me to sign to get you out of bankruptcy?

Which you got me into.

Yeah, but your company was going nowhere. I made you a wealthy man.

Give me some money.

You'll get your money, Harry.

You'll get your money, every cent of it.

When I die, you'll get your money. And I'm not going to die for a long time.

My pulse rate is down and my heartbeat is perfect.

I'm in the peak of health, Harry.

And you know something?

You're not going to kill me either.

Because you haven't got the guts to kill me, Harry.

You haven't got the slime to kill me.

You're a nice guy, Harry.

And nice guys finish last.

Hey, don't open those.

Why not?

Well, at this place, you pretend not to see anyone else, and they pretend not to

see you.

Ain't you been here before?

No.

Well, the routine is simple.

Lights stay out, blinds stay closed, and the day rate means we've got to check

out by 4 p .m.

Only today I got a piano lesson at 2 .30, so we only got an hour and 45

Come on. Let's go.

I've got to freshen up.

You look fine.

Come on.

I won't be long.

Well, don't waste too much time.

A shower?

Good God.

I mean, well, geez, we might as well just forget it. Like, it's been 13

you know.

Can you hurry up?

Please?

You see, I'm sure it should never be rushed.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm ready to go.

Come on, my chest. Come on, my breast.

What are you doing tomorrow night?

I'm leaving town this afternoon.

I won't be here.

I'll never see you again.

I don't think so.

But... I've got to see you again.

We've just got to... I mean... Oh, Jesus.

What am I going to do?

remember oh

champagne

Come in.

I couldn't sleep.

Are we going someplace tonight?

No.

I've been everywhere and done everything I want to do.

I remembered you liked sailors.

Why don't you pretend you met me in the park?

And you took me home.

And we can play all night.

What's the matter, Harry?

Need a paper bag?

No, it's just the thought of a young sailor coming to me in the middle of the

night is overwhelming.

You want to help your sailor boy?

Sure. It might be fun.

Hold on, hold on.

So unusual.

How does it feel when a woman catches you, Harry?

Hey. You want your favorite boy to suck on you?

Just relax.

Oh, my God.

I'm coming, I'm coming

Champagne, I... I want to tell you who I am.

What I am.

I'm, uh... Are you awake?

Maybe it's just as well, babe.

Yeah, it's just as well.

Honey,

if it's a matter of more money, well, we can arrange for that, you know.

No, Mr. Britton, that isn't it.

Well, if you want to do something with your own department, rearrange it

completely as far as I'm concerned.

That isn't it either.

Oh, may I have this?

Oh, of course you can. You can have the whole thing. Oh, Mr. Britton.

Well, what seems to be the problem?

I can't. I don't know.

Hi.

I'm Harry Davenport. I brought this uniform back for Chef Payne.

Okay. What do you mean you're quitting?

You can't quit. Our whole sales campaign is built around you. Change it.

Yes.

Right away, thank you.

Well, what is the real reason, goddammit?

I guess I'm not as ambitious as I thought I was.

I'll see to it that you never work again. Peggy, Peggy, remember she can

her own ticket with any cosmetic firm in the country.

We can take her to court. Ruin her.

There's nothing that says she can't quit.

You're going to leave without saying goodbye.

Well, look, I... Look, I brought my suit back.

And, uh, steady cash.

All the receipts.

Everything's accounted for.

Yeah, that's good.

Well, so long.

So long.

I don't know, I was...

I tried... I tried to tell you last night, this morning.

Well, wait a minute.

You see, I've got to say this.

You see, I'm not a... I know.

No, I mean, all that stuff about me being a... I know.

You know?

How long have you known?

Almost from the beginning.

Almost from what?

You fixed me up with that big... You dirty.

And all those times you... Yes.

You dirty.

And you dirty. And last night when you... You...

You... Gorgeous creature, you.

Well...

Well, now.

Let me tell you something.

I mean, really, let me tell you something.

I love you.

That's what.

I love you.

I love you, too. Now, wait a minute. I want to tell you something else. What

else do you want to tell me?

Sure you love me?

I love you.

Well, I own 186 Jiffy printing shops.

All of a sudden, I'm a goddamn millionaire.

Think like that.

Pretty good.

You know what? What? I think you're going to need some help with your

advertising.

Champagne, you're bubbly.

Champagne, you're lovely.

You're such a pleasure to see.

One touch can put me in seventh heaven.

And on a scale of ten, you're eleven.

You are the blue sky by far, the perfect tie.

And so I'll just go on.

Loving champagne, you fill all my days with.

Sunshine, champagne, you're finally mine.

You're finally mine.

You're finally mine.