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1
00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:03,439
It's you!
2
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,999
Why not roll out
an entire campaign?
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,679
With the both of you!
4
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,399
It's better than the plan!
5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,799
It is real, it is raw,
it is clickable.
6
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,599
When I was married, I had an affair
with the neighbour next door.
7
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,919
What was that?
8
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,759
The high life is me translating
dirty talk
9
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,600
for some horny Spanish wunderkind.
10
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,799
Clearly a slice of sadness
to this wedding.
11
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,679
Her and Abe are absolutely
perfect together.
12
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,319
- You wouldn't believe.
- Then why is she crying?
13
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,039
I miss you.
I thought about you all the time.
14
00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,359
You're not good for me.
15
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:37,999
And, um, because of that,
16
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,999
I think it's probably best that we
just see each other around.
17
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,999
And you know I'll do anything
to make you happy.
18
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,559
I need you to sell the house.
19
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,000
I don't think I can do that.
20
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,559
Let's talk wedding venues.
21
00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,999
I thought we agreed on the hotel
in Dorset?
22
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:58,799
Ah, yes, so turns out it was already
booked by our #sickbride
23
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,679
in cancer remission.
24
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,559
Understandably,
it was a light pencil.
25
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,399
How do we feel about castles?
26
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,479
- Oh!
- There's one here
with a functioning moat
27
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,159
and a Red Bull sponsorship.
28
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,239
Does it have a lift?
29
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:13,639
Mmm!
30
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:14,999
- We will look into that.
- Yes.
31
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,999
Yeah. OK, moving on...
32
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,599
Hen do!
33
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:23,319
We're thinking immersive,
live-streamed,
34
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,999
head-mounted GoPro -
35
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,999
you bring the viewer with you!
36
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,639
But isn't it a spa day?
37
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,559
I mean, massages, robes,
bit of tequila...?
38
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,319
We are three months away
from the wedding.
39
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,359
We need to ramp it up!
40
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,839
- And put ramps everywhere! For you!
- LAUGHTER
41
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:44,479
So our goal is to break one mil
by the end of the honeymoon.
42
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,599
We're in the room right next door,
aren't we, Olivia?
43
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:48,919
- Yassu!
- Yassu!
44
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,999
Now, do you mind
if I take a quick boomerang
45
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,440
of you having one of these
lovely biccies?
46
00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,800
That's brilliant.
47
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,000
Oh, good - a hard launch for toast?
48
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,119
Maybe you should tag the eggs?
49
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,999
Well, I'm just keeping up
with the brief.
50
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,079
But, er, message received.
51
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:22,359
No, no, let's commit.
52
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,399
Give the people what they
really want -
53
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,799
gritty disabled realism!
54
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,999
- Huh?
- OK.
55
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,159
No, no, post a reel of you and Ty -
deadlifting me into the shower.
56
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,999
- Freya...
- ...or a house tour!
57
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,279
Yeah?
58
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,719
"Here's where
I can't reach anything.
59
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,999
"Here's the ramp that wants me dead.
60
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,359
"Here's upstairs...
61
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,119
"Oh, I've never been!"
62
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,959
I hear you!
63
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,439
You could have an entire
third family up there
64
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,040
and I wouldn't even know it.
65
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:58,720
I'm going to talk to Jane
about further renovations, OK?
66
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,999
I'm sorry.
67
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,560
I love you.
68
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,480
Yes, obviously.
69
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,879
Renewal, resurgence, rebirth -
70
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,999
like a caterpillar from a cocoon.
71
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,919
Except it's not a cocoon -
it's a womb.
72
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,359
Your womb.
73
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,960
You are emerging from yourself.
74
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,359
Yeah, I can cut you some
hand slits -
75
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,960
but only if you feel ready
to receive them.
76
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,799
Right, and...
and this is definitely the fabric?
77
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,999
It does look a little like
she's been excreted.
78
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,639
Well, technically it's a
transitional membrane
79
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,719
designed for hibernating
zoo snakes -
80
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,159
but, yes.
81
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:48,279
And, um, how does she go backwards
in this thing?
82
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,479
Is it a series of three-point
turns or...?
83
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,479
Why would anyone want to go
backwards in this life?
84
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,599
Bean, it really is so...
85
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:57,999
...creative.
86
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,999
I just don't know if it's giving me
"wedding dress".
87
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,759
You hate it?
88
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:05,999
Oh...
89
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,999
That means it's working.
90
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,999
Are you scared of the dress's
disruptive potential,
91
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,759
or your own?
92
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,800
Ooh...!
93
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:17,999
I'm sorry,
94
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,399
I-I just...
95
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,799
I just don't know if it's THE dress.
96
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,479
It's not THE dress -
97
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,479
because there is no dress.
98
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,999
There is just evolution,
99
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,279
transition and expansion,
100
00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:36,200
gestation and expulsion.
101
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,399
That is marriage.
102
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,040
FINGER CLICK
Mm!
103
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:52,800
- Yes.
- Mm.
104
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,720
Yeah, I think it's some of
my finest work.
105
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,999
What did he say?
106
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,679
Er, he said that he wants to feel
your wet bikini bottoms -
107
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,919
but, like, not wet from the pool.
108
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,279
- What?
- Er, yeah, I know.
109
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,119
It's a bit convoluted.
110
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,160
Right, well, tell him he needs
to make them wet, then.
111
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,720
What did he say?
112
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:51,119
- Jo?
- Er, sorry, that he wants you to
stand on his face, or something.
113
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,599
Did he?
114
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,319
Well, tell him I'll dominate him
all night long
115
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,560
and I won't stop until he begs me.
116
00:05:58,760 --> 00:05:59,999
Jo? Jo, que?
117
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,240
Um...
118
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,600
- Pegging?
- Pegging.
119
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,000
Just ask Alexa.
120
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,919
DOORBELL RINGS
121
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,280
I'll get it!
122
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,920
- No means no, Jo.
- I'm here for Freya.
123
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,720
Hen stuff.
124
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,040
Hmm!
125
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,400
Actually, do you have a minute?
126
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,239
Can we talk, like, privately?
127
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,599
Like, in your room?
128
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,879
No...
129
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,280
Better with witnesses. Less chance
of an emotional drive-by.
130
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,719
Is that my shirt?
131
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,239
No, this is just a common
men's shirt.
132
00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,999
From shirts.com.
133
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,399
Fine.
134
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,239
I'll be out of your hair
soon anyway.
135
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,560
I'm moving to New York.
136
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,999
Er, yeah.
137
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:12,399
A couple of months ago, whilst I was
drunk and on antibiotics,
138
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,559
I supposedly...
139
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,479
...applied for this writing programme
in New York,
140
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:20,679
and I got in. And, um, yeah, it's...
141
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,160
It's kind of legit, so...
142
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:28,999
Yeah, you know, there's not much
keeping me here, so maybe...
143
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,999
Maybe it's time for a change.
144
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,159
Well, thank you for the big
press release.
145
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,319
And now, if you don't mind,
146
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,280
I'm actually preparing
for a job interview.
147
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,320
Good luck telling Freya
that you're abandoning her again.
148
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,119
Jo? The Livs are almost here!
149
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,479
Hey, you party-ready?
150
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,159
She Drives Me Crazy
by Fine Young Cannibals
151
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,999
GIGGLING
Oh, here we are, ladies!
152
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,319
This is it!
153
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:05,839
Pool reveal!
154
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,399
Perfect for posting, ladies.
155
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,399
I am into this deranged
gingerbread house vibe.
156
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,639
Whoo!
157
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:15,999
Love this!
158
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,999
Love the gargoyles.
159
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,799
- I know!
- Very Snow White chic.
160
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,239
♪ She drives me crazy
161
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,039
♪ Ooh-ooh
162
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,319
♪ Like no-one else
163
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,999
♪ Ooh-ooh
164
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,799
♪ She drives me crazy
165
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,040
♪ And I can't help myself... ♪
166
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,519
Who are these people?
167
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,719
These are your hens!
168
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:45,759
It's a smorgasbord of our
amazing clients.
169
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,479
Of course. Yeah.
170
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,599
Are we supposed to wearing those?
171
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,479
Yes, we are, darling.
172
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,999
Mm-hm. Bought them from Vinted.
173
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,679
Thought it'd be gay to wear them.
174
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:56,999
Gay as in fun.
175
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,040
- We're bringing it back.
- Is that blood?
176
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:01,679
Yes.
177
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,120
Yes, it is.
178
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,200
Oh.
179
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,600
It's a little early to be drinking,
isn't it?
180
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,999
Why are they here?
181
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,999
Please get them out of my house.
182
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,839
Ah, you see, in my defence,
it is OUR house
183
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,999
and I would like to store my books
in my section of our attic.
184
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,439
- OK?
- All right.
185
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,999
I'm just sorry they're not selling.
186
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,119
Oh, they are selling.
187
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,519
They're flying off the shelves.
188
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,999
They're talking about doing
a second print run
189
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,239
with all the five-star reviews
190
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,559
and a sex positive foreword
by Gillian Anderson.
191
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:39,160
Happy you're getting the recognition
you deserve.
192
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,879
I'm just sampling wines
for the wedding.
193
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,999
Uh-huh. Listen, I...
194
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,159
I genuinely had no idea you were
going to take this that badly.
195
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,519
Not taking it anything.
196
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,639
I'm taking it like an absolute stud.
197
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,079
- Are you?
- Yeah.
198
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,519
I was just drafting my own memoir
in my head.
199
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,999
Think I'm going to call it, um,
200
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,559
Why the Flying Fuck Didn't
I Divorce Her Sooner?
201
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,239
Or something.
202
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,600
Guaranteed best-seller.
203
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,759
And we are live, girlies!
204
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,639
And we have 23 brave, beautiful
viewers already!
205
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:11,719
- Ooh!
- Yes.
206
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,919
Well, let's crack on with the games,
I reckon!
207
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,239
- Yeah.
- These hens, they're not free-range.
208
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,279
They're on hourly rates!
209
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,159
Wait, they're being paid
to be here?
210
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,759
As PA of honour,
211
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,719
aka Party Architect...
212
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,799
CHEERING
Yeah! Come on!
213
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,999
...OK, I'd like to introduce
our very first game!
214
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,999
It's called Mr and Mrs,
215
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,999
and it is the ultimate
compatibility quiz!
216
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,159
All right? Jo, would you like
to do the honours?
217
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,159
Er, OK.
218
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,439
Um, who is Abe's celebrity crush?
219
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:47,319
- Ooh!
- Um, Emily Blunt?
220
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,279
Emily Blunt?!
221
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,479
- Shall we find out?
- Yes.
222
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,799
Hello, ladies!
223
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,999
Right, celebrity crush?
224
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,520
I'm going to say...
225
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,919
- ...it's Nigella Lawson.
- Ah!
226
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,359
Especially the Christmas special
227
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,799
when she basted that turkey.
228
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,119
- That was...
- Whoo!
229
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,159
...hypnotic.
230
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,479
That was wrong, Freya!
231
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,999
So, actually, you know what
you need to do?
232
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,919
- Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
- You need to have one of these!
233
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,399
CHEERING
234
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,719
Who said "I love you" first?
235
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:18,999
Oh, OK, that one's easy.
236
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,799
Yeah, him, 100%.
237
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,759
Oh, it was magical.
238
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,999
Couldn't stop looking at her.
239
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,799
And then she said those three
little words, "I love you."
240
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:30,999
Aw!
241
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,279
It's another wrong answer, Freya,
242
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,039
so, er, buckle up.
243
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,479
Whoo!
244
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,039
Do you even know this dude?
245
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,999
CROSSTALK
246
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,999
I mean, it's really not fair.
247
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,519
Have you even read my book?
248
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,639
Oh, have you written a book?
249
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,999
Cos in the end, if you get
to the last chapter,
250
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,999
I say I actually really
loved our marriage.
251
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,999
So much talk of marriage.
252
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,319
Can't stop writing about it,
can't stop talking about it.
253
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,799
- Is you an ickle bit jealous?
- Fuck off! Fuck...!
254
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,159
Right, you couldn't pay me to be in
a committed relationship right now.
255
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:04,679
There's just so much compromise,
isn't there?
256
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,959
I mean, look at you.
Who even are you?
257
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,439
You hate rose!
258
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,639
Turns out it just has
to be good rose.
259
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:11,839
I don't believe you.
260
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,399
- If you're going to be this...
- Right, right, right.
261
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,159
- ...pig-headed about everything...
- OK, what is going on?
262
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,519
- Hi.
- All of this yelling while
I'm trying to have a wank
263
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,919
is giving me weird childhood
flashbacks, all right?
264
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,439
So I'm going to need you
to tone it down
265
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,999
if I'm going to stand any chance of
getting anything done up there.
266
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,999
Sorry.
267
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,239
- Mm, that is quite good, actually.
- I know, right?
268
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,799
Wait, sorry, why are you
day drinking?
269
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:34,239
Because your father is trying
to squeeze himself
270
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,999
into this new life
one drink at a time.
271
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,319
OK, well, that's weird.
272
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,079
Don't make a habit out of it,
either of you.
273
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,999
Well, if you are going to do another
lap around the marital track...
274
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,599
- Marriage again?
- ...might I give you some notes?
275
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,399
Ooh, OK, this is actually
far more interesting
276
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:53,079
than the porn I was watching,
so I'm going to grab a pew.
277
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,799
This time, maybe don't cry quite
so much during the vows.
278
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,799
I mean, it's not that it wasn't
tremendously touching -
279
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:03,479
it was - but people really just want
to go for a piss
280
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,719
and have a glass of prosecco.
281
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,999
Really don't need wedding day notes,
282
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,439
especially not from the woman
who insisted on choreographing
283
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,319
our ridiculous first dance.
284
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,599
Ridiculous?!
285
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,599
Close To Me
by The Cure
286
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,679
- Ah, remember!
- Ooh!
287
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,999
Actual post traumatic
dance disorder.
288
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,999
This is before anyone else did it, right.
289
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,359
Sure...
290
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,200
- Wow.
- Mum's already going.
Feeling limber, Dad?
291
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,040
OK.
292
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,400
So this was professionally
choreographed, was it?
293
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,639
LAUGHTER
OK!
294
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,239
- You keep saying OK.
- Yeah!
295
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,919
Oh, and round.
296
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,320
One, two.
297
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,719
- Oh!
- Whoa!
298
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,159
You always used to trip me there,
299
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,559
- every single time.
- I do remember that.
300
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,599
- I do remember that.
- This is nice, isn't it?
301
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,679
Look at you. It's almost like
Lindsay Lohan was right
302
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,199
to Parent Trap hers back together.
303
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,719
Back together? Sorry, have you not
read my chapter on bonobos?
304
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,239
Yeah, I'm waiting for
the audio book.
305
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,199
No, I think we're both perfectly
happy with where we are now.
306
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,119
Absolutely.
307
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:15,919
Really? What, you're OK
that Sam's death,
308
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,200
you know, broke things between you?
309
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,680
Well, I think it's a little bit more
complex than that.
310
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,999
But, er, yeah,
311
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,639
sometimes life throws more storm
at you than you're prepared for.
312
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,879
And I think we wish we'd
weathered it differently,
313
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,679
but we accept the wreckage.
314
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,120
I mean, it has a kind of charm.
315
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,680
Oh, Bug.
316
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,719
If you learn anything from us,
317
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:54,440
don't let life's mess get in the way
of what really matters.
318
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,760
Yeah, you've got to embrace
the mess.
319
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,399
Actually, um, did I say
that I had...?
320
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,399
That there was...? That I had...?
321
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,600
Bye!
322
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:09,999
One more time?
323
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,279
Fuck no.
324
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:15,159
Tell us about losing your V-card.
325
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,919
- Ooh!
- Yes!
326
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:18,999
Why don't we take a little
quick break?
327
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,639
Like a little cig or...?
328
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,439
Come on, at least tell us the age!
329
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,559
Got hundreds of followers now -
they want deets!
330
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,519
- They want positions!
- Oh, yeah!
331
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,759
WHOOPING
Freya, you don't have to.
332
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,359
-
- Cherry bomb! Cherry bomb!
333
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,599
- Cherry bomb! Cherry bomb!
- Seriously, you don't have to.
334
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,999
Cherry bomb! Cherry bomb!
335
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,999
Fine! Sure, yeah.
WHOOPING
336
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,479
Er, it was just before
my 16th birthday.
337
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,319
I was ridiculously in love.
338
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:49,079
- Aw!
- Everyone thought we were going
to be together forever.
339
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,999
Um...
340
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,999
And then I had my accident
341
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,799
and became tetraplegic,
342
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,799
and then I went into rehab
for a year
343
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,799
to relearn everything that I knew
about my body
344
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,799
and, er, the world.
345
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,079
And then, one night,
346
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,480
he snuck into rehab and we had sex.
347
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,639
It wasn't really the first time
I imagined.
348
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,279
But we were in love.
349
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,719
Aw!
350
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,400
And then he never called me again.
351
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,000
Ahem.
352
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,839
MUSIC PLAYS
KLAXON SOUNDS
353
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,999
Is it 6pm already? Oh!
354
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,799
Well, put your hands
together for...
355
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,639
Crip-Tease Dan!
356
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,360
WHOOPING
357
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,920
CHEERING
358
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,080
SQUEALING
Run me over, king!
359
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,999
You want to add him on social?
360
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,759
- How extraordinary.
- That's fun.
361
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,999
I'm fussing. I'm hot.
362
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,719
LATCH CLICKS
This fucking door!
363
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,199
Jo! Jo, sh!
364
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,719
Jesus Christ! Are you crazy?
365
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,359
Yes, crazy is my brand. Come on.
366
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,759
You can't be here.
367
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,160
Don't go to New York.
368
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,160
Whoa! Whoa!
369
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,719
Stop! Stop!
370
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,239
Stop it!
371
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,119
Sorry, Crip-Tease Dan. Full respect.
372
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,999
I can't do this.
373
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:19,799
Look, I'm tired of being scheduled
and sponsored and streamed.
374
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,359
I've had enough, you know?
375
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:24,359
And I... And I can't ignore the fact
that I'm completely incompatible
376
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,599
with my fiance.
377
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:26,799
You know what I want to do?
378
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,799
Yeah, I want to go swimming.
379
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,039
Yeah, but I can't because
I'm terrified of fucking water
380
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,520
since I became disabled.
381
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,999
Is that the content you want?
382
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:41,279
Huh? Because this whole hen do
and sponsored wedding
383
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,999
is so fucking lame.
384
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,319
SHOCKED GASPS
Ooh, no!
385
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:46,999
What? OK, I'm confused.
386
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,679
I want to do it all with you.
387
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,639
Especially the mess.
388
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:52,999
Mess?
389
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,599
OK, now I'm getting mixed signals.
I...
390
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,999
LATCH CLICKS
Fuck!
391
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,999
- Jesus.
- Jo, are you there?
392
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,759
Jo?
393
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,359
Jo, I need to talk to you.
394
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:03,999
This is definitely the best one.
395
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,239
- Oh.
- Jane.
- Fuck.
396
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,120
- Maybe it was that one.
- Jane?!
397
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,519
- What?
- I'm ready.
398
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,040
To sell the house.
399
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,000
Oh.
400
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,559
Oh, wow.
401
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,920
OK.
402
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:26,040
And I want to say sorry
for holding on.
403
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:34,000
I think I just needed to,
you know...
404
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,119
...let go in stages.
405
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,559
Yeah, I mean, it's funny.
406
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,599
I mean, I've been waiting for this
moment for years -
407
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,360
but now it's actually here,
I feel a bit...
408
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,240
We will always be family.
409
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,080
- Do you want me to get off?
- Yeah, can you...?
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
410
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:08,759
You know, and I really honestly
couldn't be more happy
411
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,480
- for you and Freya.
- I know.
412
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,719
To the future.
413
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,720
To my sequel, ballsack.
414
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,079
I need to pee and I need
to say this.
415
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,839
I think maybe, actually,
I've just been scared
416
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,319
that I wouldn't find anyone else.
417
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,479
Which is essentially internalised
ableism, right,
418
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,719
and probably not the best reason
to be getting married?
419
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,999
Maybe we should talk somewhere else?
420
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,199
I hate how everyone acts
421
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,119
like I'm so lucky to have him,
you know?
422
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,439
Like, it's infantilising.
423
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,799
I don't need to be taken care of!
424
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,999
Right? I want to fuck in Paris!
425
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,319
Freya. Freya, as your PA of Honour,
426
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,999
I've watched you and Abe
very closely -
427
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,400
and that's love, man.
428
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,919
Also, if you ever need a surrogate,
I do sincerely hope it's me.
429
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,479
Oh, too far, Ty.
430
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,999
Fair enough.
THEY STRAIN
431
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,199
Oh, my God!
432
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,559
I need to talk to Abe.
433
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,119
Yeah, I have to tell him
to come here.
434
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,679
What, here? Now?
435
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,159
Yeah, here, now.
436
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,520
OK, er...
437
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,359
The condom company...
438
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:14,799
- Yeah?
- ...pulled out. For God's sake.
439
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,759
Well, of course they were going
to pull out. Not like that.
440
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:17,919
But do you know what I mean?
441
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,119
I think I'm going to have
a panic attack.
442
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,239
Absolute nightmare.
443
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,799
Oh, Olivia, Olyvya?
444
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,479
I think I've finally found my voice.
445
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,719
Well, no, you're not finding
your voice, darling,
446
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,199
because our sponsors have
pulled out, haven't they?
447
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,559
In your impassioned speech...
448
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:32,919
But I was just being honest.
449
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,319
Mmm. You called the entire
sponsored wedding "lame".
450
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,839
"Lame" - on camera.
451
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,839
The online disabled community,
452
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,639
they are currently dragging you
for being grossly ableist.
453
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,159
You're trending.
454
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:47,399
In a bad way.
455
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,399
They're dragging your ass.
You're cancelled.
456
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,799
- Rip.
- RIP, she means.
457
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,159
Just fuck. I never say that.
458
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,999
- I never say that.
- Yes, well,
you did say it, didn't you?
459
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,999
Yeah, you did. You did.
You said it, didn't you? Yeah.
460
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,359
So we have to send
a big fat apology.
461
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,799
- Yeah.
- We've got to livestream it, yeah?
462
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,999
- A big donation. Children In Need,
we're thinking.
- Yeah.
463
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,879
- Pudsey Bear.
- Might work.
- Yeah.
464
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,799
Suck on that.
You're going to need it.
465
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:10,999
OK, Levi...
466
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,399
Gosh, these women-only identifying
spaces are incredible!
467
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,039
- I mean, the healing!
- Levi!
468
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,640
- Sorry, sorry.
- I love you, too.
469
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,679
Um...
470
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,999
I just feel like maybe we're not
good for each other.
471
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,679
Maybe we're...
472
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:26,679
Maybe we're too fucked up.
473
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:27,999
Yes, maybe.
474
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:34,519
But also, maybe, what if we are the
type of fucked up that fits?
475
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:40,799
Because every time I'm with you,
I feel a little bit less broken.
476
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:44,720
And I also feel consistently
turned on.
477
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,439
I'm just trying to get my life
together,
478
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,999
and I need someone that can...
479
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,439
T-That you can rely on.
480
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,599
Yeah, exactly. Me, too.
481
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,719
We both need each other.
482
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,159
So, er, why don't you,
just for once,
483
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,040
please, please just stay?
484
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,439
Did I just see Ty straddling
a half-naked man
485
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,479
using a wheelchair?
486
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:29,920
I thought this was a spa day!
487
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,759
Abe, I need to say something -
and I just need you to listen.
488
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,199
OK?
489
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,639
OK.
490
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:40,999
We lost the sponsorship.
491
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,239
I accidentally said the L world
on livestream.
492
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,799
What? Lesbian?
493
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,519
Not quite.
494
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,679
But the Olivias think that
they can fix it.
495
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,040
OK, good.
496
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:56,679
I just don't know if I do want
to fix it, Abe.
497
00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:01,279
I'm so tired of saying yes
to everything.
498
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,680
To...
499
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,999
That I have to be grateful
for every single opportunity,
500
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,199
just because I'm a wheelchair user.
501
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,999
I want to fuck in Paris.
502
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,239
With you.
503
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,199
OK.
504
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,679
Unexpected turn, not unwelcome.
505
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,559
But I think maybe this wedding's
just happening too fast.
506
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,799
Mm.
507
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,159
I'm more than happy to postpone it.
508
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:32,639
Certainly happy to lose
the sponsorship, you know?
509
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,799
I just want to marry you.
510
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,520
Properly.
511
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,639
I told Jane I was ready to sell
the house.
512
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,359
What, really?
513
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:44,760
Yeah.
514
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:51,279
Thought we could find ourselves
a nice little new-build.
515
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,759
You know? Fully accessible.
516
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,960
You wouldn't have to worry
about anything.
517
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,080
I just want to take care of you.
518
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,760
But I don't want that.
519
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,720
Actually, I think...
520
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:17,999
...maybe I just need a bit of time?
521
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,999
Yeah. Well, we'll...
522
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,199
We'll postpone.
523
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,440
Time from us.
524
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,040
Sorry, that's not what I was
expecting to say.
525
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,119
I-I love you. I love you so much.
526
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:40,999
It's just been a really weird time
and, er, I don't know...
527
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,719
It's OK. It's OK.
528
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,320
I'm sorry.
529
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,360
- I'm so...
- You take your time.
530
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,040
It'll be OK.
531
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,439
Freya?
532
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,200
Freya! Hey!
533
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,600
Hey! Here you are.
534
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:15,800
Are you OK?
535
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:21,240
I think I just broke up with Abe.
536
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,479
Shit. I'm so sorry.
537
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,040
How did he take it?
538
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,040
Mature and lovingly,
which made it even worse.
539
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,519
I'm so sorry.
540
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,040
Hey, listen, I'm here.
541
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,439
Don't worry.
542
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:45,999
We got this.
543
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,399
Together.
544
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,559
Oh, please.
545
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,239
I never needed you.
546
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,560
That's gross.
547
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,479
Not even a little.
548
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,159
Good.
549
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,800
Cos I definitely don't need you.
550
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,000
Can I get your help with something?
551
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,040
Yeah.
552
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,880
♪ This European air, I swear it does
553
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:23,199
♪ Randomly I'm grateful for
554
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:27,439
♪ Grateful for a night
555
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,040
♪ Solemn night walker
556
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:36,040
♪ Concrete over water
557
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:44,559
♪ I think you remind me of the night
558
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,159
♪ But also of the day
559
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:51,040
♪ I think of Italy, champagne
560
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,640
♪ I think of Spain
561
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:06,840
♪ I wanna be there
562
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:14,400
♪ I want more than my head... ♪
39471
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