Original subtitles

Cut!

This time, when you're looking around,

could you give it a bit more, um, helpless? In the eyes.

I'm sorry. I just can't do this any more.

Sorry. What was that? That ring?

Could you possibly have failed to tell us you're fucking engaged?

Why not roll out an entire campaign...

With the both of you.

I think we should do it.

Do you know who should do her dress?

Bean!

- Bean? - Mr Bean.

Beanie McElroy, bridal wear visionary.

Why so alone?

Like a wedding orphan?

You haven't heard from Jo.

Then maybe we have, like,

a missing person situation on our hands.

This is just what Jo does.

She, I don't know, appears when you want her the least

and Houdinis when you need her most.

Jo has been a really good friend to you,

and she's dealt with things

that you don't even know are going on.

She's your best friend.

What are you going to do, get married without her?

You and I both need her to come back.

You owe me an apology.

No, you owe me an apology.

One drink.

What would Abe think?

You might be good for Freya...

...but you're not good for us.

I don't know.

That's why I'm not going to tell him.

Shall I open up the floor?

Yeah?

I'm happy to offer myself

as a neutral third party/therapy puppet.

How about we start with a heartfelt apology...

...from Jo?

Not happening.

- Oh, wow. - Cool.

Yeah. Really glad we're doing this.

If anyone is apologising here, it's you.

Sorry, does anyone else hear garble? Mic check!

Yeah.

You came into my home, slept with my almost stepson,

lied about it, and then ditched me, all while on shift.

The jury hears this and is very much nodding.

You are not the jury, Ty.

Well, how about I represent the emotional stakeholders, Jo?

OK, fine. I was going to tell you about Levi.

I just didn't know what it was yet.

It's gross.

It's like we shared a genetic toothbrush.

Oh, fucking hell.

Is he...

...like OK?

I mean, I just kind of feel like maybe

he's better off not being around me at the moment.

Don't use me for closure.

And come and get it yourself.

He's moved in.

Oh!

OK, let's cut to the chase here, shall we?

If Freya is to allow you back into her life, right,

how does she know that you're not...

No, how does she know that you're not going to

pull your signature move -

disappearing the minute someone actually needs you?

I don't do that!

Oh, come on. What about our London trip?

Ladies and gentlemen, from the flight deck,

this is your captain speaking.

On behalf of Toronto Air

we'd like to welcome you to sunny Barbados.

Little jest for you.

We've safely arrived in London,

where the current temperature is a balmy 12 degrees Celsius.

Due to a technical reason,

we need to disembark a wheelchair user from the aircraft first.

You're joking!

Please hold tight as this may take some time.

GROANING

All right, what do you want your dating profile to say?

"Chaotic disabled hottie seeks

"short-term diplomatic relations and some light bondage.?"

No, no, let's ease them in.

Um... "Dating a disabled person is like dating a celebrity.

"Strangers always feel entitled to an opinion about my body."

Mm-hm.

"I come with an entourage and I always get VIP parking."

Perfect. If anything, they'll see that you're handy with an analogy.

That is like foreplay in British.

Hey, where is my ride?

Don't you cool cats think that it's a bit dangerous?

Dating strangers in a foreign country?

Dating is the whole point of this trip, Barb.

Jo's going to chronicle the shit out of it

when she starts writing again.

My Horny Disabled Friends by Joanna Garcia.

We'll workshop the title.

And we're also visiting my grandma.

Grandmas, that's more my speed.

Oh, I can't wait to meet her.

I get the sense that she raised you off of,

like, I don't know,

filterless cigarettes and light emotional neglect.

Yeah. She's so mean.

She RSVP'd to my cousin's wedding with

a note that said, "I don't bless mistakes."

I'm serious about the dating, girls.

Maybe you should have a safe word in case things go sideways.

Yeah, I don't hate that.

Aperol spritz.

That's not a safe word.

That's an $18 mistake.

No, seriously, if one of us utters the word, "Aperol spritz,"

the other one has to stop whatever they're doing

and then get them the hell out of there.

All right. Aperol spritz it is.

Oh, God, I am so ready for this.

I've honestly never felt sexier.

Do I look like Hannibal Lecter?

Yeah, but sluttier.

What gets you out of bed in the morning?

My PA, um, obviously.

And, um, I guess making art that exposes a marginalised perspective.

You?

So have you lived in London long or...?

Well, you know, the gym,

my crypto portfolio.

I want you to feel safe.

Because if it came down to it, I would fight for you.

Annoying the woke mob on Twitter.

What was that last one?

People are just so sensitive these days.

Can I try lifting you?

I want to see if I could carry you on my back out of a fire.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for diversity.

I just think we've overcorrected.

OK, I don't know how this happened, but you are legally a child.

Totally. Yeah.

Um, I'm suddenly desperate for an Aperol spritz!

I've trained.

I'm very comfortable being physical.

Aperol spritz!

HE BELCHES Aperol spritz!

I've never felt unsexier.

Maybe you just need to hunt in the wild.

FOOTBALL CROWD NOISE

Oh, my God.

OK, absolutely not.

Come on, Jo, don't be Smurfist.

Freya, they're football fans.

And I think they're French.

Hi!

Wheel Smurfette!

Yeah, that's right.

The one they don't put on lunchboxes.

You can still, um, how you say,

do the sex, no?

Jesus...

You can feel that?

Am I going to fuck a Smurf?

He called me "Wheel Smurfette."

He did.

I still fucked him.

You did.

And I had to sleep by the ice machine.

I'm stuck to the bed.

OK.

Oh...

Holy shit!

I look like I got railed by a blueberry.

Or jerked off a crayon.

Damn.

Hey, I'm gonna head to oldies home.

You still up for it?

Oh, can we do another time? I'm hanging.

I just don't want to leave it too late.

My stomach is doing crimes, and I feel radioactive with shame.

Yeah.

I thought the UK would be better, you know?

What if it's not me being disabled,

what if it's just my shit personality?

Your personality is your best asset.

After your tits.

Hey, you're wildly lovable.

What if I end up alone?

You won't.

We'll always have each other.

I really do want to come with you.

It's your origin story.

I just feel awful.

Come on, Freya, please.

- Oh... - Please?

Next time?

OK.

Yeah, fine. Um...

Just stay in bed.

OK.

Tell your grandma I'll win her over with my incredible personality.

- And my tits. - Yeah, OK.

- I'll see you at her local later, yeah? - Uh-huh.

I did everything you asked.

Every weird plan you made.

All I wanted to do that trip was visit my grandma,

and then you bailed.

You never said that bothered you.

It should be obvious.

Oh, I'm sorry. My telepathy was down again.

Oh, there was a sorry in there, Jo.

How about you? Ready for the big one?

You never get when things really matter to me.

Because your needs always come first.

I didn't know you felt that way.

And if I'd known, I would have dropped everything and come.

Blue paint and all.

I didn't want to make you.

I want you to want to.

That felt like a moment to me.

Did we all feel that shift?

Maybe it was just me.

Right. Tie one.

Very romantic.

Tie two...

Tax lawyer on ketamine.

Tie three...

That's just a very long tie.

PHONE DINGS

Honestly, I think just go shirtless.

Wrap the tie around your head.

It's a massive power move.

Yeah.

Ty's in position.

Yeah, but which one? Which one did you pick?

No, that was Ty.

She says Freya's on track for half past.

Right, yeah.

OK, I do just want to make sure that you are aware

how unhinged it is that you're rebooting your engagement

as some sort of, like, deranged Groundhog Day thing.

No, I'm not.

Freya never got the proposal she really wanted, you know?

The Olivias think that this will really boost engagement.

Ah, yes, the Livs.

Your girlboss Privy Council.

Oh, stop! Don't you push me, boy!

Hey, guys. Listen, I'm just trying to keep things moving.

Yeah, we've only got an hour, so...

Why? It's not like I have anywhere else to be.

Yeah, no... I just think Abe might get a bit suspicious

if your, "art meeting" goes on too long.

Oh, hell, no.

We wouldn't want Abe getting suspicious, now, would we?

Ty, can you get me some wine, please?

Sure.

Me, too. A large.

Should I?

No, look, I'm just... I'm really...

I'm just doing this to boost Freya's art career, that's all.

OK.

Well, if I were her,

I would find it quite odd that you're rewriting

your big moment together for the sake of social media.

What? No. That's it.

We never had a big moment.

- OK. - Right?

You remember? She said...

Well, you weren't there, but she said,

"Shall I start wearing the ring?"

And I said, "Yes, if it means we're engaged."

And she said, "All right then."

And now you want the Spielberg cut.

Well, I...

The Livs feel that the public really want to see

the surprise on Freya's face.

It's not... I don't...

It'll be chill.

OK.

Well, good luck with it.

Wait! Where the hell do you think you're going?

You're filming it, boy.

What?!

PHONES BUZZES

You know what my grandma meant to me.

Still with the grandma...

She might have been a mean old bitch, Freya,

but she fucking raised me.

Yeah, I know she did.

She died.

That day you didn't come with me because you were too hungover,

I had to go there alone and find out that she was dead.

What?

Yeah. Apparently some second cousin had tried to call me,

but my number had changed.

She'd been dead for a month,

and I didn't fucking know about it.

Goddamn it.

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

And I had to find out alone that she'd gone.

Hi. Gin and tonic, double please.

Oh, sorry.

No, by all means, you just jump in.

I've only been waiting here since the fall of the Soviet Union.

OK, I'm sure he can multi-task.

Quite an art, you know, to the tradition of queuing.

One of the few British traditions

that doesn't involve sauces or colonising something.

You don't really just jump on in just because you're attractive.

Oh, that's really sweet, but I'm really not that interested.

That's not me flirting, I can promise you that.

Oh, wow. Negging and pedantic, that's really cool.

Oh-ho-ho! No, I just mean I'm on a date

already with a rather lovely someone.

No offence. You're not really my type.

No accounting for taste.

Thank you.

I, um, wish your poor date good luck.

Oh, poor date, good luck.

Oh, fuck you, too.

Oh, my God, hi!

Hi. I'm glad to see you've rejoined the flesh-toned.

I've just had the fucking worst...

Uh, I'm sorry, can we help you?

No, Jo, this is Abe.

Abe, this is my best friend.

Are you kidding?

Sit. Proper introductions.

Oh, no. We've, uh... We've met.

OK, Aperol spritz.

Wait, what?

Seriously, Freya. Aperol spritz.

No, I'm good.

I mean, Abe got me a stout,

which is actually delicious.

OK, but I want an Aperol spritz.

Then... order one?

She seems fun.

Sorry. She's protective.

Yeah, I got that.

She's seen some real shockers lately.

In fact, you're too normal. Suspicious.

Ah, yes. Well, I'm a lot of things.

I'm not sure about normal.

I'm separated. Got a kid. Mild IBS.

- Cried in four separate Ikeas. - No idea why.

Don't have an ex you're holding hostage in a bunker somewhere?

Uh, just emotionally.

We should do this again.

Properly, you know.

You like tapas?

Oh, I... I'd love to. Really.

I'm just heading home in two days.

I believe they have phones in Canada.

OK, but I don't know when I'll be back.

- I can fly. - Well, it's a long way to come.

I'm partial to in-flight entertainment.

I'm disabled.

You're brilliant.

She's gone?

What the fuck?

Why didn't you tell me?

I said Aperol spritz.

Aperol spritz is not code for,

"Help me, my grandma's fucking croaked," Jo.

If I'd known, I would have dropped everything.

But then you wouldn't have gotten to know Abe.

And now...

...now you're marrying him.

Yeah, I am.

Mm. It felt a bit smaller in their pitch.

Are we 100% on the suits?

I feel like we look like a father and son ventriloquist duo.

It does feel a bit magician-forward.

All right, let's go for one.

Get it in your bodies, yes?

So, Abe's here, Levi, ready.

Oh, yeah. OK.

And...

Action.

Freya...

Say it to me, say it to camera, darling.

- To know you is to love you. - Yeah, chin down.

Light's jumping off the jaw like a disco ball, honey.

OK?

Lovely.

- Up. - I... - Yeah, thank you.

I have a lifetime to get to grow...

...grow more to love you... gr...

To learn, to learn to grow, to love...

To get to, to grow to love you...

...to more to... Ah, that's not right.

- OK... - And down on one knee. - Right.

What? Huh?

No, I was going to stand.

You have to go down on one knee. Yeah.

- It has to scream effort. - Mm. - It's a proposal.

Romantic.

Down you pop.

Just drop, please.

Thank you.

Um... Line?

What, you need a cue card to tell your fiancee that you love her?

No. I just... No!

That's... Exactly.

So, OK...

We are already engaged, right?

I kind of feel any reaction we're going to get from Freya

at this point is just 90% confusion.

All right, well, confusion still reads as surprise, doesn't it, Abe?

Yeah. And look, it is very powerful to show someone

- make a big public declaration of love. - Yeah.

Our audience - especially the disabled viewers -

they're going to feel so seen by this.

- Yeah. - Wait, has anybody else clocked that the statue is a memorial

for four people that died in an industrial incident?

Oh, my God, Jesus Christ. Here she comes.

OK, positions, places! Positions, everyone!

Oh, cue joggers. Cue the joggers.

Just Say Yes by Snow Patrol

♪ Please save my life

♪ Just say yes

♪ Just say there's nothing holding you back

♪ It's not a test

♪ No trick of the mind, only love... ♪

No. No, guys! No, no, stop, stop, guys!

Stop! Who is that?

Oh, yeah.

The years have really taken a toll on Freya, haven't they?

- Oh, my God! - Raymond! -I got scared. - That's not her, Raymond!

- Right, reset. - Come on, guys.

You're going to have to rebuy that yourself.

PHONE BEEPS

I'm happy for you. I really... I really am.

You have him and a safety net.

I'm just... I'm just trying to get my shit together

and figure out what the fuck I want to do with my life.

What about writing? That was always the plan, and you're so good.

I can't just sit around and write. Some of us actually have to work,

- Freya. - Dude, I live on a financial settlement from breaking my neck.

Exactly. Can't all be so lucky.

Hmm.

Look, if we're going to do this friendship,

you've got to get better at telling me how you feel.

OK.

But you have to be a little less selfish.

Deal.

- Do you want to get another round? - No more rounds!

We're going - now, right now. Ha-ha! Brilliant,

brilliant work, guys. Really love friendship.

I'm so pleased for you guys.

We're off, we're off.

Do you think tiger...?

Hey, Jo. Jo. The park's really boring.

You don't want to go anywhere else, do you?

- No. - Well, it's just where we're headed,

- it's very Freya-specific. - I'm pretty Freya-adjacent, so...

OK. Why are we going through the park?

Well, it's very scenic. It's also very flat,

Jo, you'll absolutely hate it. I honestly think you should

- definitely... - OK.

What's going on, Ty? You've been acting weird all day,

- even for you. - Nothing! Nothing.

You've had a big day, and nature can help you decompress.

Mm-hm. Right.

- What the fuck? - Surprise!

Cue the proposal.

Oh, shit. To know you is to love you. I...

No...

What is this? And why are the Olivias here?

And why do you two look like a father-son ventriloquist act?

- I told you, mate. - Why is she here?

You're proposing?

But we're already engaged.

- Fucking two for two! - Yes. Again. Sorry.

- Why is she here? - OK, stop deflecting with Jo.

She's the least-weird thing about... all of this.

It's just... it's... they made me do it. It's just part of

the whole wedding campaign,

you know, you're supposed to have your big surprise...

- I kind of hate it. - Oh, good. OK, great.

She kind of hates it.

I kind of hate it, too.

I also kind of hate how I seem

to be out here lately making steps towards our future,

and you're just right back to unpicking everything.

So, last time, why is she here?

Abe, if I'm in this, she is, too.

No, this is about... we're getting

married - you and I.

I want to marry YOU.

- - That's nice, that's very nice. - Of course.

- And Jo? - I don't want to marry Jo.

Thank God.

Are you going to say yes, or what?

Yes, I accept your proposal... again!

Oh, my God, it's better than the plan!

It's real, it is raw, it is clickable.

Right, cue joggers, cue Snow Patrol, cue Levi.

Erm...

Oh...

SHE GASPS

♪ Just say there's nothing holding you back

♪ It's not a test

♪ Nor a trick of the light, only love... ♪

I kind of love it.

♪ It's so simple, and you know it is, you know it is

♪ We can't be to and fro like this

♪ All our lives... ♪

Should somebody tell them to stop?

Well, I think it's probably polite to let them finish, eh?

♪ What do I have to say to you?

♪ For God's sake, dear

♪ For God's sake, dear... ♪

- Hi. - Hi.

♪ For God's sake, dear

♪ Just say yes

♪ Just say there's nothing holding you back

♪ It's not a test

♪ Nor a trick of the mind, only love

♪ Just say yes

♪ Just say there's nothing holding you back

♪ It's not a test... ♪