Original subtitles

Are you kidding me!

It's my piano. And this is my arm, cockface!

Where are you taking it? Perth. Why?

You need to come home.

My mum's dying.

I'm going to Perth too. What?

No, you're not. Yeah, I am.

How much fuel did you put in this?

Oh, shit. It's a diesel, isn't it?

How do I know you can look after that girl?

She's indestructible, dude.

- Did you steal a car? - You wanna get to Perth?

Come on! Get in.

Well, you're a fuckin' dead man!

Whoo!

That's Matty, he's my brother.

I just wanted to say that it's not your fault.

Oh, shit.

I wasn't gonna jump off the cliff! What the hell's this about then?

It's Matty's!

I'm so sorry. Why? Did you tie the rope?

Her Mum's not in Kal, is she?

Mate, her mum pissed off when she was a bub.

I'm sorry I lied about Mum.

Guys, this is Suzie. This is the guys.

This is my little brother. Oh, Suzie!

I can't imagine meeting anyone

that I love a tenth as much as I love you.

You idiot.

Hi, Billie.

You're Uncle Lucky.

Do you wanna tell her?

No. He's not telling her.

I am asking what he wants. Well, I don't care what he wants!

Tobes.

Do you know the thing that fucks with my head?

If you hadn't have done what you did, she wouldn't exist.

If you hadn't have done what you did, she wouldn't exist.

Shh. It's OK.

I miss him! Oh, sweetie pie.

Shit! Fuck!

Fuck! Eugh!

Eugh!

This is our last song, Lucky.

Yep.

Get in there, Billie!

Come on, Billie.

Go, Bills.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, that was awesome! Thanks.

You OK? Yeah.

You coming, mate?

Yep.

Sorry, I need to piss.

What's wrong with yours? Ours isn't flushing.

Why haven't you got pants on? They're not dry.

Well, we're going on. Like, now.

Why were they wet? What?

Your jeans, how'd they get wet?

Brad spilt beer on 'em last night.

Or maybe it was wine.

Maybe it was Pete.

Whatever. Just don't leave us hanging, OK?

Jesus! Fuck!

G'day, Melbourne. How the fuck are ya?

You OK?

Thanks.

One, two, three...

Lucky.

Lucky, your phone's ringing.

OK.

Ow. Fuck.

Billie Bee!

Hey, Uncle Lucky. What are you doing awake?

What's the time over there?

12:14.

That means it's 3:15am over here. How did you know I'd be awake?

Someone just tagged you on Insta.

What are you doing on Instagram in the middle of the night?

Can't sleep.

Why? It's going on? Are you OK?

Just excited, I suppose. About the trip?

It's still, like, a week away.

Eight days.

Exactly. So you're gonna have to sleep at some point.

I know. I just...

You nervous?

Toby said you're a bit anxious about playing by yourself.

Toby said you're a bit anxious about playing by yourself.

I just spew sometimes. No big deal.

Dad's more worried than I am. Yeah, fair enough.

I suppose I would be too if I was... him.

Billie, what are you doing? It's Uncle Lucky. We're just...

I don't care. It's the middle of the night.

It's my fault, Tobes. I... I...

Phone in the kitchen. Hop into bed. Now. It was my fault.

I shouldn't have rung. I got the time difference upside-down.

For fuck's sake, Lucky, it doesn't matter.

It is fucking inappropriate for her to be on the phone.

Tobes, you're making a mountain out of a mole...

Shut up! We have agreed,

against my better judgement, if I'm honest, to let her fly over.

And you're calling her, pissed off your face,

in what looks like a fucking public toilet at 3am!

No... I swear, we will cancel the trip, Lucky.

Bullshit. You can't. You can't do that.

Get your shit together.

I have my...

..shit together.

Oh, looking a bit rough there, champ.

No-one's interested in a guy going through a gate, mate.

But they might be interested in what Avery thinks

about you getting it on with Mary Doyle.

Ooh, lovely. Yeah, that's the shot.

Thrilled for you. You can fuck off now.

Ahh, no, I think I'll hang.

You might be back out in a minute.

Chrissake. You're just so bad at this.

How did you let him get the shot?

I didn't have a choice. He was... It's not rocket science, Lucky.

You just don't look at them. Why was he even there?

I've literally left you about ten messages.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, I know. My phone's completely dead.

I forgot to take a charger. Oh, that's a huge surprise.

You had a fun night.

You had a fun night.

OK. No, this...

This isn't... I...

No, everyone was just drunk.

I don't even know who she is. I think she's a friend of...

Wait, you don't know who she is?

This incredibly famous, extremely online woman

with her hand on your chest, you don't recognise her.

I recognise her from last night but...

I thought she was a friend of Brad's or...

Come in.

Thought she was just a hanger-on.

No, she doesn't have a comment. Eugh!

Neither does he.

Yeah, I don't even remember that. OK. Bye.

He doesn't even know who she is. Shocked.

Who who is?

Mary Doyle. Mary who?

Doyle.

She's from Dance Off. Dance Off?

Highest rating show on Australian television, you luddite.

Luddites objected to looms. Whatever.

Honestly, Ave, I was quite pissed.

I just can't believe you put yourself in this position to begin with.

She was just one of those close-talkers.

She did like, a 25 minute monologue on Biodynamic fuckin' um...

What's the, it's like celery but it's red.

What's the, it's like celery but it's red.

Rhubarb.

And she was very handsy but I didn't do...

No, the point is is that you gave them a story.

I didn't post the photos. No, your thick-headed drummer did.

She has a Masters in electrical engineering.

Just thought you'd understand how this works by now.

I...

The train on Platform 24 goes to Bondi Junction

stopping at all stations. First stop...

Nice boots, sweetheart.

Nice mullet, fuck knuckle.

327 comments.

It's OK, I'll call Betts and tell her to take 'em down.

I just need... Darl, do we have painkillers?

Second drawer, same place it's been for the last 50 hangovers.

Ahh, fuck.

Can you not say "fuck" and not immediately tell me what it is?

It's just I've got a radio interview in five minutes.

What? 83 FM.

Oh! Out To Lunch with Hados and Tokka.

Oh, gross, pull it. I'll stick it on.

Can't pull it, I've still got tickets to sell for next week.

Babe, they're gonna ask about this.

They will absolutely ask about it.

No, they're not.

Those photos have been up for what, two hours,

and anyway, it's an interview about my gig and my songs.

You have a question for Lucky about his songs.

"All Live" was our absolute fave.

Avery Mae. Oh, feral. I hate that guy.

..rather interesting photos that have popped up.

A few had Mary Doyle...

Get Nina to call and say you're sick.

No, no, no, that would definitely make it worse.

Oh, that's nice. This guy just call me a slut.

Don't read it. Why are you reading it?

How am I a slut?

"Laclan." Ha, my grandad was a Laclan. Obsessed by Nazis.

Think he just liked the uniforms.

Jesus! Fuck!

Who is it?

It's Nina. I don't have...

It's Nina. I don't have...

Answer it. Hey, Nines.

Hi, darl. Did you get the package? Yeah, it's in my hands.

OK. The deal is as good as it's going to get

but you have to sign it today.

OK, but didn't we agree that I'd have some time to think about this?

Yes, that was three months ago. We'll discuss it when I get there.

Jesus!

Christ!

Nina?

Have you seen your boy with Mary Doyle?

My boy's with WHO?

Do you not have alerts on your clients?

Ahh, we represent musicians, Richard, not gossip fodder.

She's not... Oh, thank you, Nina.

..gossip... Oh hi, darls.

Hi. ..fodder.

Oh, she's with Dance Off. Famously.

I don't understand any of this.

The airline gets the rights to your song for a year

and you get 60 grand.

And everyone loves your song and buys the album.

If you ever finish it.

Ahh, that would be your interview. Oh, Jesus! Fuck!

Hey, how are you getting out of this?

I'll just, I'll tell them the truth. Whoa! Easy, Tiger.

Is the truth good or bad in this case?

Yep. I'm here.

The truth's rhubarb, apparently...

Yeah, ready when you are. ..in this case.

Yeah, ready when you are. ..in this case.

No. Lucky, come. Sit.

Stay.

Alright, Lucky, listen.

I know this is all just nonsense to you, yeah?

It's not. I... But it's my job.

And being family friendly is part of that.

Well, it paid for the house you live in.

So, can you just, can you just not be hilarious? Don't be sarcastic.

Just don't rise to their bait.

You're gonna be great.

Hello?

Hi. Are you ready? 'Cause we're patching you through.

And it's... Ooh no, no, there he is. Lucky Flynn.

Hi, Hados. G'day, Tokka.

So, Lucky, a year ago no-one had any clue who you were

and now you're on Out To Lunch with Hados and Tokka!

Thanks for having me, guys. It's an honour.

No, the honour's all ours, mate.

Is it weird but? How's that?

Being a muso but mostly being known as, you know,

the hairy bloke who scored Avery Mae.

Yeah. It's a funny story, actually.

I was playing this New Year's gig earlier this year and that's how...

I was playing this New Year's gig earlier this year and that's how...

Which, I think, we all agree was rather soon

after a Avery's very public split with Grant Bunning.

Who, let's be honest, is more in the same league.

Oh, Tokka! Mate, you can't say that!

No, no, Lucky knows what I mean.

I mean, you're a fine-looking rooster. But, you know...

No, no, no, Lucky's not too bad, are you, mate?

He has other attributes. Look at bloody Grant Bunning!

That's what he's known for, being hot.

And for being a complete fuckwit.

I think we've had a bit of a technical issue there.

We seem to have lost our guest.

This is Out To Lunch with Ha...

Well, they didn't ask about the photos.

You are such a child sometimes, Lucky.

Ave, come on, I'm sorry. I was just joking. It was a joke.

Oi, Miss Mae. Give us a smile.

That's it. That's great.

Hey! Nice and angry. Love it.

Really, really good. I thought I told you to fuck off.

Lucky, leave him alone. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Lucky, stop! Just give me that fucking camera.

That's my car, Lucky. That's my fucking car!

What is wrong with you? I can't do this.

What is wrong with you? I can't do this.

I am calling the cops. Oh, don't call the cops, you dick.

Oh, I'm a dick? I'm a dick!

Go have a shower, darls, you stink.

Fuck!

Eugh!

She's not here, mate,

and I'm sorry I called you a fuckwit on the radio.

You just made a massive... You are though, a fuckwit.

Hello, Tobes.

Hello, little brother.

Nice radio, mate. Typically mature.

Did you know that to send an unaccompanied minor on a plane

you have to sign a thing saying she'll be met by an adult?

Yeah, I know.

So who are you going to get to meet her?

Ha, ha. Yeah, ha, ha.

Have you got the flight details written down?

It's Monday week, 12:25pm. I know.

It's Monday week, 12:25pm. I know.

About the time you'd normally be cracking your second beer, isn't it?

Give me a fucking break. Hey?

Mate, look, I'm sorry I rang in the middle of the night.

It was just a time zone error. It was no big drama.

Yeah, well, as her dad, it's my job to stop the big drama

before it happens.

It won't happen. I'm gonna be ready for her. I promise.

Yeah, you'd better be, matey.

Good afternoon. Everything OK?

Yep. All good. Bit of a day.

Do you wanna come in? Cup of tea or...?

We've received a complaint.

Ha. Thought he was bluffing.

Not bluffing. No, clearly.

Look at you. Very responsive.

Mr Proctielli claims that you physically assaulted him.

I was just trying to stop him taking photos of my distressed girlfriend.

He also said you smashed his camera.

I did that. And a car window.

Whose car was that? It was Rich's car, Rich Hodgkins.

H-O-D-G-K-I-N-S, like the disease.

Why was your girlfriend distressed?

Why was your girlfriend distressed?

Ahh, because Mr Proctielli is a slimy piece of shit

who likes taking pictures of her bum.

And also probably because

I called her ex-boyfriend the F word on the radio.

Fuck? Wit. Fuckwit.

Fuckwit. Yep.

Ex-boyfriend?

Grant Bunning. Plays Officer Cranbrook on Precinct 17.

His character's lovely so you can't accuse him of not being able to act.

Right. Unless Mr Proctielli drops his complaint,

we'll see you again in a few days with a summons.

Meantime, keep it cool, huh? Have a shower.

I would literally kill my already dead mother for a shower right now.

No! Go away.

No! Fuck off!

Fuck! Fuck.

What do you want...

Meg.

Hey, dickhead.

Miss me?

I...

I gotta pee.

Fancy!

And school?

Mmm. I'm in Year 12 but...

Mmm. I'm in Year 12 but...

But...

Oh well, my school only goes to Year 10

so if I'm gonna do HSC, I've gotta go to Bourke,

and that's like, 1.5 hours on the bus each way.

I get there sometimes but you know, Dad's back on the beers.

Right.

Yeah. But like, school is bullshit anyway.

Like, Moby Dick's not just a whale.

Like, fucking der.

Not just a dick either.

You've done alright.

Oh, it's not my house. Hm.

Do you want a beer?

No, I hate beer. Mmm, of course. Sorry.

No, it just tastes like piss.

Need a coffee or a tea? Go with tea, thank you.

So, you have a boyfriend?

Maybe it's a girlfriend.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Nuh. Boyfriend.

Well, I did but, um...

We... Oh, hi, Ave.

No, I'm gonna stay at Mum's. OK. Um...

No, I don't wanna talk about it. I just came back for my phone.

I know. I'm sorry but...

I don't wanna talk about it. Have you see my phone?

It's just on the bench but...

Hey, that prick is still out the front. Ave...

So can you maybe just try not to mess up my life

more than you absolutely have to?

- That would be really... - Hi.

Oh, shit!

Hi.

This is, ahh, Meg. Who the fuck is Meg?

I'm the fuck is Meg. Who the fuck are you?

Whoa, woah, woah!

This is Avery. She's my girlfriend. She owns this house.

Oh, yeah. I've seen you on telly.

You're hot. What are you doing with him?

I actually have no idea sometimes.

Meg is, um... a friend.

Well, I mean, we...

Haven't spoken in four years.

Do you remember I told you I drove to Perth when Mum was sick?

Do you remember I told you I drove to Perth when Mum was sick?

Ahh, sort of.

Well, I gave Meg... Meg gave me a lift some of the way.

Well then, what is going on here?

Well, Meg, um...

had a bit of an argument with her Dad and she needed some...

Lucky's gonna take me to Queensland.

Sorry?

- Yeah, we're going to Queensland. - What, Queensland?

You told me that you needed somewhere to go

because you had a fight with your dad. I did.

I had a fight with my dad because he wouldn't take me to Queensland.

Alright. This is the first I've heard of this.

You were in a crap mood and I knew you'd lose your shit.

He doesn't go well with new information when he's tired.

Ha! He doesn't he totally doesn't cope well

with new information when he's tired.

OK...

No, we're not can have a whole... Oh, just fuck off. Can we...

Alright, this is all just...

So Meg, good luck. I am sure, like everything in Lucky's life,

you'll remain something that I half understand.

- Uh-huh. - I'm going to Mum's.

So, when's the wedding?

Meg...

What's going on?

What's going on?

That's Mum, on the left.

When did you find these?

Last week.

Right.

And your Dad...

Is a lying piece of shit.

He's probably just trying to protect... No, it's bullshit!

He told me that she was overseas, my whole life,

but she's been in Queensland this whole time.

And he knew. And I'm 17 and he should have told me.

No, he's a fucking liar.

That's the most recent one. From Brisbane.

OK.

Look, I get that you wanna find her. I do. But what do you think...

What are you hoping to get?

She doesn't know about Matty.

I guess Dad never told her.

Don't reckon he even tried.

Like, that's fucked, right?

If your kid died, you'd wanna know.

Even if you you'd been a shit parent...

You'd wanna know.

And I don't have any money. OK, I don't.

I spent everything I had on getting here

and I really need to get to Brisbane and I didn't know who else to ask.

Meg, you can't show up after four years

and just expect me to hop on a plane with you.

I'm in the middle of a tour.

Your show's Thursday week. I looked it up.

There's other stuff.

Billie's coming.

Have you told her?

Have you told her?

OK. This'll take two days, tops. I promise.

Please? I have to get this.

Hi, Nina. Yeah, I know, I've been ignoring it. OK.

I'll look. OK.

Sorry. What?

Oh, shit! What is it?

Oh, shit.

What? The...

Just show me. Oh, my god!

Oh, you really are a psycho.

Fuck!

And you're a meme. Oh, this is...

Jesus Christ. Look, Meg, like, I'm sorry.

I... I have all this crazy shit going on

and by tonight there's going to be more paps out the front.

And the cops are probably gonna turn up with a summons tomorrow.

And Avery's gone to her mum's house

which means she'll be on the lady petrol all night

and she'll be back in the morning with a migraine

and a million excellent reasons why I don't deserve her.

And her arsehole ex-boyfriend's probably gonna sue me.

And I've got this contract that's doing my head in

and everything's just complicated, OK?

And I obviously can't just take off.

I mean, I haven't even unpacked my bag.

Oh, it didn't take long, eh? Avery's sheets are barely cold.

Ahh. This one's a bit young though. Oh, you like the barely legals.

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