Original subtitles

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Desi

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Desi

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Desi Light. We've got so much to talk about

Light. We've got so much to talk about

Light. We've got so much to talk about tonight. JD Vance shares the secret to

tonight. JD Vance shares the secret to

tonight. JD Vance shares the secret to an unhappy marriage. Christy Gnome joins

an unhappy marriage. Christy Gnome joins

an unhappy marriage. Christy Gnome joins the Mile High Club. And if you think

the Mile High Club. And if you think

the Mile High Club. And if you think exercise is good for your mental health,

exercise is good for your mental health,

exercise is good for your mental health, then you haven't seen RFK Jr. Exercise.

then you haven't seen RFK Jr. Exercise.

then you haven't seen RFK Jr. Exercise. So, let's get into it with another

So, let's get into it with another

So, let's get into it with another installment of The Worst Wing.

What a bunch of losers.

>> Let's begin with Brendan Carr, FCC

>> Let's begin with Brendan Carr, FCC

>> Let's begin with Brendan Carr, FCC chairman and hairless Wolf Blitzer.

chairman and hairless Wolf Blitzer.

chairman and hairless Wolf Blitzer. He's in charge of magnifying all the

He's in charge of magnifying all the

He's in charge of magnifying all the ways Americans communicate, whether it

ways Americans communicate, whether it

ways Americans communicate, whether it be radio, television, or whatever you're

be radio, television, or whatever you're

be radio, television, or whatever you're watching me on right now. Probably an

watching me on right now. Probably an

watching me on right now. Probably an Instagram reel someone stole from Tik

Instagram reel someone stole from Tik

Instagram reel someone stole from Tik Tok. And he's got some exciting new

Tok. And he's got some exciting new

Tok. And he's got some exciting new ideas. The Federal Communications

ideas. The Federal Communications

ideas. The Federal Communications Commission is urging broadcasters to air

Commission is urging broadcasters to air

Commission is urging broadcasters to air more patriotic proame content. FCC Chair

more patriotic proame content. FCC Chair

more patriotic proame content. FCC Chair Brendan Carr launched the voluntary

Brendan Carr launched the voluntary

Brendan Carr launched the voluntary Pledge America campaign Friday, which

Pledge America campaign Friday, which

Pledge America campaign Friday, which calls on stations to promote civil

calls on stations to promote civil

calls on stations to promote civil education, national pride, and shared

education, national pride, and shared

education, national pride, and shared history. This could be through the forms

history. This could be through the forms

history. This could be through the forms of history specials, daily pledge of

of history specials, daily pledge of

of history specials, daily pledge of allegiance recital, the national anthem,

allegiance recital, the national anthem,

allegiance recital, the national anthem, or music from American composers like

or music from American composers like

or music from American composers like Souza and Gershwin.

Souza and Gershwin.

Souza and Gershwin. >> Wow. They say TV is a dying medium, but

>> Wow. They say TV is a dying medium, but

>> Wow. They say TV is a dying medium, but way do you tune in for our daily pledge

way do you tune in for our daily pledge

way do you tune in for our daily pledge of allegiance?

of allegiance?

of allegiance? >> Honey, did you watch the Pledge of

>> Honey, did you watch the Pledge of

>> Honey, did you watch the Pledge of Allegiance without me? No spoilers.

Allegiance without me? No spoilers.

Allegiance without me? No spoilers. Listen, if you want to make TV more

Listen, if you want to make TV more

Listen, if you want to make TV more patriotic, you don't need patriotic

patriotic, you don't need patriotic

patriotic, you don't need patriotic music. You need to figure out how to

music. You need to figure out how to

music. You need to figure out how to make Traers US as good as Traders UK.

make Traers US as good as Traders UK.

make Traers US as good as Traders UK. But you know what? In honor of America's

But you know what? In honor of America's

But you know what? In honor of America's birthday, we're willing to work with the

birthday, we're willing to work with the

birthday, we're willing to work with the administration to make TV just a little

administration to make TV just a little

administration to make TV just a little more patriotic. And in that spirit,

more patriotic. And in that spirit,

more patriotic. And in that spirit, let's get a little boost of patriotism

let's get a little boost of patriotism

let's get a little boost of patriotism with our very own Jordan Cleer.

with our very own Jordan Cleer.

with our very own Jordan Cleer. >> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

YEAH. YEAH.

YEAH. YEAH. THANK YOU, JAZZY. THANK YOU. YEAH. OH,

THANK YOU, JAZZY. THANK YOU. YEAH. OH,

THANK YOU, JAZZY. THANK YOU. YEAH. OH, YEAH. YEAH.

YEAH. YEAH.

YEAH. YEAH. OH, JAZZY, THIS GOES OUT TO YOU,

OH, JAZZY, THIS GOES OUT TO YOU,

OH, JAZZY, THIS GOES OUT TO YOU, AMERICA. RING, RING, RING, RING, ring

AMERICA. RING, RING, RING, RING, ring

AMERICA. RING, RING, RING, RING, ring it.

>> Yeah.

Okay,

Okay,

Okay, >> that's very good. That's good. That's

>> that's very good. That's good. That's

>> that's very good. That's good. That's good, Jordan. That

good, Jordan. That

good, Jordan. That >> Thank you. Thank you, Jordan.

>> Thank you. Thank you, Jordan.

>> Thank you. Thank you, Jordan. >> Not done. Not done.

>> Not done. Not done.

>> Not done. Not done. >> Okay.

>> Now I'm done.

>> That was That was great. Thank you,

>> That was That was great. Thank you,

>> That was That was great. Thank you, Jordan. That was very American.

Jordan. That was very American.

Jordan. That was very American. >> Yeah. Thank you. That's how the founding

>> Yeah. Thank you. That's how the founding

>> Yeah. Thank you. That's how the founding fathers would have celebrated if they

fathers would have celebrated if they

fathers would have celebrated if they were dope like me.

were dope like me.

were dope like me. >> Sure. Great. Jordan, clapper, everyone.

>> Sure. Great. Jordan, clapper, everyone.

>> Sure. Great. Jordan, clapper, everyone. >> YEAH.

>> Nothing says I love America like a bugle

>> Nothing says I love America like a bugle

>> Nothing says I love America like a bugle exploding. Anyway, let's move on to RFK

exploding. Anyway, let's move on to RFK

exploding. Anyway, let's move on to RFK Jr., Secretary of Health and World's

Jr., Secretary of Health and World's

Jr., Secretary of Health and World's Most Patient Zero. After just one

Most Patient Zero. After just one

Most Patient Zero. After just one incredible year in charge of our

incredible year in charge of our

incredible year in charge of our nation's health, he's lowered our

nation's health, he's lowered our

nation's health, he's lowered our vaccination rates, boosted our measles

vaccination rates, boosted our measles

vaccination rates, boosted our measles outbreaks, and somehow infected the

outbreaks, and somehow infected the

outbreaks, and somehow infected the president with hand herpes. But he is

president with hand herpes. But he is

president with hand herpes. But he is just getting started. Health and Human

just getting started. Health and Human

just getting started. Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. teaming up with Kid Rock for what

teaming up with Kid Rock for what

teaming up with Kid Rock for what they're calling the Rock Out Workout.

I have never seen a bigger gap between

I have never seen a bigger gap between

I have never seen a bigger gap between what I'm seeing and what I'm hearing.

what I'm seeing and what I'm hearing.

what I'm seeing and what I'm hearing. The music says the man, but the visuals

The music says the man, but the visuals

The music says the man, but the visuals say my doctor wants me to maintain my

say my doctor wants me to maintain my

say my doctor wants me to maintain my bone density.

bone density.

bone density. You might be wondering, why are these

You might be wondering, why are these

You might be wondering, why are these two old men working out together in a

two old men working out together in a

two old men working out together in a swing or ski chalet? But honestly, would

swing or ski chalet? But honestly, would

swing or ski chalet? But honestly, would you rather they were working out in your

you rather they were working out in your

you rather they were working out in your gym with you?

gym with you?

gym with you? Don't worry about wiping down the

Don't worry about wiping down the

Don't worry about wiping down the machine. and I welcome your probiotics.

>> That even grossed me out. Point is, it's

>> That even grossed me out. Point is, it's

>> That even grossed me out. Point is, it's a very gross video. But could it get

a very gross video. But could it get

a very gross video. But could it get grosser?

>> Wait, have I been using the sauna wrong?

>> Wait, have I been using the sauna wrong?

>> Wait, have I been using the sauna wrong? I've just been sitting there giving hand

I've just been sitting there giving hand

I've just been sitting there giving hand jobs to strangers.

jobs to strangers.

jobs to strangers. I just I have I have so many questions.

I just I have I have so many questions.

I just I have I have so many questions. One, why is there an exercise bike in

One, why is there an exercise bike in

One, why is there an exercise bike in this sauna? Two, who are you flipping

this sauna? Two, who are you flipping

this sauna? Two, who are you flipping off? And three, how fast can I sew up my

off? And three, how fast can I sew up my

off? And three, how fast can I sew up my vagina?

vagina?

vagina? And RFK Jr. is doing all of this in

And RFK Jr. is doing all of this in

And RFK Jr. is doing all of this in jeans.

jeans.

jeans. I really hope you wash those afterwards.

I really hope you wash those afterwards.

I really hope you wash those afterwards. The topless dancers, the ganda breeze,

The topless dancers, the ganda breeze,

The topless dancers, the ganda breeze, cars packed with speakers, the cheese

cars packed with speakers, the cheese

cars packed with speakers, the cheese with the 40s, and the chicks with

with the 40s, and the chicks with

with the 40s, and the chicks with >> Oh, that is not what I meant. Oh my god,

>> Oh, that is not what I meant. Oh my god,

>> Oh, that is not what I meant. Oh my god, that water's like the Wuhan lab right

that water's like the Wuhan lab right

that water's like the Wuhan lab right now.

It's a good thing he's not vaccinated

It's a good thing he's not vaccinated

It's a good thing he's not vaccinated because he could have turned out weird.

because he could have turned out weird.

because he could have turned out weird. But okay, anyway, let's stop. This is

But okay, anyway, let's stop. This is

But okay, anyway, let's stop. This is too gross. We're done. No more clips.

too gross. We're done. No more clips.

too gross. We're done. No more clips. One more clip.

understood. I said it's all good and

understood. I said it's all good and

understood. I said it's all good and it's all in fun.

>> Okay, now this just looks like porn with

>> Okay, now this just looks like porn with

>> Okay, now this just looks like porn with the sex scenes cut out.

the sex scenes cut out.

the sex scenes cut out. Hello, pool boy. Can I offer you a glass

Hello, pool boy. Can I offer you a glass

Hello, pool boy. Can I offer you a glass of lukewarm milk? And now to the sauna.

of lukewarm milk? And now to the sauna.

of lukewarm milk? And now to the sauna. End of film. But if I can if I can just

End of film. But if I can if I can just

End of film. But if I can if I can just be serious for a minute, the fact that a

be serious for a minute, the fact that a

be serious for a minute, the fact that a US cabinet secretary is putting out slop

US cabinet secretary is putting out slop

US cabinet secretary is putting out slop like this is such a disgrace to both

like this is such a disgrace to both

like this is such a disgrace to both himself and to us as a nation.

>> Jordan, but Jordan, I thought you were

>> Jordan, but Jordan, I thought you were

>> Jordan, but Jordan, I thought you were done.

done.

done. >> A patriot is never done.

>> Look, I just thought things were getting

>> Look, I just thought things were getting

>> Look, I just thought things were getting a little bit too critical in here, if

a little bit too critical in here, if

a little bit too critical in here, if you catch my drip. Time to get those

you catch my drip. Time to get those

you catch my drip. Time to get those patriotic vibes back.

patriotic vibes back.

patriotic vibes back. >> AMERICA, LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT.

>> JORDAN, patriotism and criticism are not

>> JORDAN, patriotism and criticism are not

>> JORDAN, patriotism and criticism are not mutually exclusive. To love your country

mutually exclusive. To love your country

mutually exclusive. To love your country is to criticize it to make it better for

is to criticize it to make it better for

is to criticize it to make it better for everyone.

everyone.

everyone. >> No, Desi, you don't criticize the ones

>> No, Desi, you don't criticize the ones

>> No, Desi, you don't criticize the ones you love. You praise them. You encourage

you love. You praise them. You encourage

you love. You praise them. You encourage them. You don't get mad when they spend

them. You don't get mad when they spend

them. You don't get mad when they spend five grand on DJ equipment. Oh, you you

five grand on DJ equipment. Oh, you you

five grand on DJ equipment. Oh, you you applaud their bravery and finding a new

applaud their bravery and finding a new

applaud their bravery and finding a new passion at 46. You know, that's that's

passion at 46. You know, that's that's

passion at 46. You know, that's that's the kind of support America needs right

the kind of support America needs right

the kind of support America needs right now. Words of affirmation, even if those

now. Words of affirmation, even if those

now. Words of affirmation, even if those words aren't true. Hit it.

words aren't true. Hit it.

words aren't true. Hit it. >> AMERICA, WE WON VIETNAM.

>> OKAY. All right. Fine. Forget it. Jordan

>> OKAY. All right. Fine. Forget it. Jordan

>> OKAY. All right. Fine. Forget it. Jordan Clipper for the last time. EVERYONE,

let's move on. Let's move on to JD

let's move on. Let's move on to JD

let's move on. Let's move on to JD Vance, vice president and Pillsbury

Vance, vice president and Pillsbury

Vance, vice president and Pillsbury Proud Boy.

Proud Boy.

Proud Boy. JD and his wife Usha Vance sat down with

JD and his wife Usha Vance sat down with

JD and his wife Usha Vance sat down with Larara Trump in a fun interview that was

Larara Trump in a fun interview that was

Larara Trump in a fun interview that was normal and relaxed. So, let's see them

normal and relaxed. So, let's see them

normal and relaxed. So, let's see them be normal and relaxed.

be normal and relaxed.

be normal and relaxed. >> Well, um JD, I have to ask you.

What the are you laughing at?

What the are you laughing at?

What the are you laughing at? All she said was, "I have to ask you."

All she said was, "I have to ask you."

All she said was, "I have to ask you." I love human interactions with normal

I love human interactions with normal

I love human interactions with normal humans.

humans.

humans. >> Sorry, I interrupted. What was the

>> Sorry, I interrupted. What was the

>> Sorry, I interrupted. What was the question?

question?

question? >> What is the best and worst dish that you

>> What is the best and worst dish that you

>> What is the best and worst dish that you ever cooked for your wife?

ever cooked for your wife?

ever cooked for your wife? >> So, I She's a vegetarian. I am not. I'm

>> So, I She's a vegetarian. I am not. I'm

>> So, I She's a vegetarian. I am not. I'm like thinking to myself, what does a

like thinking to myself, what does a

like thinking to myself, what does a vegetarian eat? Okay. Vegetables, dairy,

vegetarian eat? Okay. Vegetables, dairy,

vegetarian eat? Okay. Vegetables, dairy, and bread. So, I went to the grocery

and bread. So, I went to the grocery

and bread. So, I went to the grocery store. I got those crescent rolls that

store. I got those crescent rolls that

store. I got those crescent rolls that you can get. They're very good. I rolled

you can get. They're very good. I rolled

you can get. They're very good. I rolled them out like into a pizza shape and put

them out like into a pizza shape and put

them out like into a pizza shape and put vegetables and ranch dressing on top and

vegetables and ranch dressing on top and

vegetables and ranch dressing on top and stuck it in the oven for 30 minutes.

>> Veggies and ranch dressing baked on a

>> Veggies and ranch dressing baked on a

>> Veggies and ranch dressing baked on a crescent roll. And they say white people

crescent roll. And they say white people

crescent roll. And they say white people don't have culture.

Personally, I do think that there's a

Personally, I do think that there's a

Personally, I do think that there's a hopeful message here for men. No matter

hopeful message here for men. No matter

hopeful message here for men. No matter who you are, there is a woman out there

who you are, there is a woman out there

who you are, there is a woman out there that will look at you and say, "I guess

that will look at you and say, "I guess

that will look at you and say, "I guess this is the best I can do."

But if I could if I could just be

But if I could if I could just be

But if I could if I could just be serious for one moment, does someone who

serious for one moment, does someone who

serious for one moment, does someone who cooks ranch dressing have the judgment

cooks ranch dressing have the judgment

cooks ranch dressing have the judgment it takes to be one very irregular

it takes to be one very irregular

it takes to be one very irregular heartbeat away from the presidency? I

heartbeat away from the presidency? I

heartbeat away from the presidency? I mean, this raises some serious questions

mean, this raises some serious questions

mean, this raises some serious questions about

about

about Jordan. Come on, turn turn that off.

Jordan. Come on, turn turn that off.

Jordan. Come on, turn turn that off. >> No, no, no. You come on, Desi. Come on.

>> No, no, no. You come on, Desi. Come on.

>> No, no, no. You come on, Desi. Come on. The vibes in here are very very negative

The vibes in here are very very negative

The vibes in here are very very negative right now. I day I day on theism Cray.

right now. I day I day on theism Cray.

right now. I day I day on theism Cray. >> What? I I'm not even criticizing the

>> What? I I'm not even criticizing the

>> What? I I'm not even criticizing the government. I'm criticizing JD Vance's

government. I'm criticizing JD Vance's

government. I'm criticizing JD Vance's cooking.

cooking.

cooking. >> What's wrong with JD's Vance's cooking?

>> What's wrong with JD's Vance's cooking?

>> What's wrong with JD's Vance's cooking? Huh? I got some right here. Look at

Huh? I got some right here. Look at

Huh? I got some right here. Look at this. Huh?

this. Huh?

this. Huh? >> Oh,

>> Oh,

>> Oh, >> look at this good oldfashioned America

>> look at this good oldfashioned America

>> look at this good oldfashioned America pizza. JD Vance style. Huh? Oh,

pizza. JD Vance style. Huh? Oh,

pizza. JD Vance style. Huh? Oh, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No,

No,

No, >> that ranch is bubbling. Uh,

can't wait to have some good

can't wait to have some good

can't wait to have some good oldfashioned American diarrhea. You

oldfashioned American diarrhea. You

oldfashioned American diarrhea. You know,

know,

know, >> those colors do run.

>> those colors do run.

>> those colors do run. >> Gross. Goodbye, Jordan. Goodbye.

>> Gross. Goodbye, Jordan. Goodbye.

>> Gross. Goodbye, Jordan. Goodbye. Finally, let's move on to Christy Gnome,

Finally, let's move on to Christy Gnome,

Finally, let's move on to Christy Gnome, Secretary of Homeland Security and

Secretary of Homeland Security and

Secretary of Homeland Security and Spirit Halloween's number one customer.

Spirit Halloween's number one customer.

Spirit Halloween's number one customer. As head of DHS, Gnome has a busy job

As head of DHS, Gnome has a busy job

As head of DHS, Gnome has a busy job starting wars in American cities, but

starting wars in American cities, but

starting wars in American cities, but somehow she seems to have found time for

somehow she seems to have found time for

somehow she seems to have found time for love. A Wall Street Journal

love. A Wall Street Journal

love. A Wall Street Journal investigation is raising new questions

investigation is raising new questions

investigation is raising new questions about Gnome's close relationship with

about Gnome's close relationship with

about Gnome's close relationship with her unofficial number two, Cory

her unofficial number two, Cory

her unofficial number two, Cory Lewendowski. The pair, who are both

Lewendowski. The pair, who are both

Lewendowski. The pair, who are both married to other people, have publicly

married to other people, have publicly

married to other people, have publicly denied the reports of an affair, but

denied the reports of an affair, but

denied the reports of an affair, but people said they do little to hide their

people said they do little to hide their

people said they do little to hide their relationship inside the department.

>> Guys, finally, this administration has a

>> Guys, finally, this administration has a

>> Guys, finally, this administration has a sex scandal involving CONSENTING ADULTS.

sex scandal involving CONSENTING ADULTS.

sex scandal involving CONSENTING ADULTS. WE DID IT. USA, USA, USA, USA.

WE DID IT. USA, USA, USA, USA.

WE DID IT. USA, USA, USA, USA. But look, I know I know it's a bit

But look, I know I know it's a bit

But look, I know I know it's a bit unseammly, but I try to stay out of

unseammly, but I try to stay out of

unseammly, but I try to stay out of people's personal business. I mean, it's

people's personal business. I mean, it's

people's personal business. I mean, it's not like Christy and Corey are flying

not like Christy and Corey are flying

not like Christy and Corey are flying around on a taxpayer funded plane.

around on a taxpayer funded plane.

around on a taxpayer funded plane. >> Luwendowski and Gnome have lately been

>> Luwendowski and Gnome have lately been

>> Luwendowski and Gnome have lately been using a luxury 737 Max jet with a

using a luxury 737 Max jet with a

using a luxury 737 Max jet with a private cabin in back

private cabin in back

private cabin in back for their travel around the country.

for their travel around the country.

for their travel around the country. >> Christine Nome and Cory Luwendowski have

>> Christine Nome and Cory Luwendowski have

>> Christine Nome and Cory Luwendowski have had the taxpayers lease this jet for

had the taxpayers lease this jet for

had the taxpayers lease this jet for their use.

their use.

their use. Okay, so they're flying around on a

Okay, so they're flying around on a

Okay, so they're flying around on a taxpayer funded plane.

taxpayer funded plane.

taxpayer funded plane. >> How do they justify charging the country

>> How do they justify charging the country

>> How do they justify charging the country for their bang bus in the sky? On paper,

for their bang bus in the sky? On paper,

for their bang bus in the sky? On paper, they say they need this particular plane

they say they need this particular plane

they say they need this particular plane for quote immigrant deportation flights.

for quote immigrant deportation flights.

for quote immigrant deportation flights. >> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh. Oh, yeah. I'm so sure this is the plane

Oh, yeah. I'm so sure this is the plane

Oh, yeah. I'm so sure this is the plane they're using to deport illegal

they're using to deport illegal

they're using to deport illegal immigrants. Hey, sit your ass down and

immigrants. Hey, sit your ass down and

immigrants. Hey, sit your ass down and put on these shackles. And here's your

put on these shackles. And here's your

put on these shackles. And here's your hot towel. And we have a selection of

hot towel. And we have a selection of

hot towel. And we have a selection of wines for your enjoyment.

Can you imagine actually being deported

Can you imagine actually being deported

Can you imagine actually being deported on that plane and the whole time you're

on that plane and the whole time you're

on that plane and the whole time you're hearing Corey and Christy Gnome grunting

hearing Corey and Christy Gnome grunting

hearing Corey and Christy Gnome grunting in the back?

in the back?

in the back? I'd be like, "Can this plane please

I'd be like, "Can this plane please

I'd be like, "Can this plane please hurry up and land in South Sudan

hurry up and land in South Sudan

hurry up and land in South Sudan already?"

already?"

already?" By the way, it's not just the fancy

By the way, it's not just the fancy

By the way, it's not just the fancy plane that Gnome is fussy about. During

plane that Gnome is fussy about. During

plane that Gnome is fussy about. During one official trip, people familiar with

one official trip, people familiar with

one official trip, people familiar with the incident say, quote, "Nome had to

the incident say, quote, "Nome had to

the incident say, quote, "Nome had to switch planes after a maintenance issue

switch planes after a maintenance issue

switch planes after a maintenance issue was discovered, but her blanket wasn't

was discovered, but her blanket wasn't

was discovered, but her blanket wasn't moved to the second plane." Cory

moved to the second plane." Cory

moved to the second plane." Cory Luwendowski then fired a US Coast Guard

Luwendowski then fired a US Coast Guard

Luwendowski then fired a US Coast Guard pilot after Gnome's blanket was left

pilot after Gnome's blanket was left

pilot after Gnome's blanket was left behind.

>> Wow. For a woman getting down on

>> Wow. For a woman getting down on

>> Wow. For a woman getting down on the regular, she sure is tense.

the regular, she sure is tense.

the regular, she sure is tense. I mean, you fired the pilot because you

I mean, you fired the pilot because you

I mean, you fired the pilot because you forgot your blanket. That's not the

forgot your blanket. That's not the

forgot your blanket. That's not the pilot's job. His job is to circle the

pilot's job. His job is to circle the

pilot's job. His job is to circle the airport until everyone in the back has

airport until everyone in the back has

airport until everyone in the back has had time to climax.

had time to climax.

had time to climax. But I guess that's the end of that

But I guess that's the end of that

But I guess that's the end of that pilot's career. They eventually

pilot's career. They eventually

pilot's career. They eventually reinstated the pilot, according to the

reinstated the pilot, according to the

reinstated the pilot, according to the journal, because no one else was

journal, because no one else was

journal, because no one else was available to fly them home.

available to fly them home.

available to fly them home. Oh my god. Could this get any dumber?

Oh god. The only way this could get any

Oh god. The only way this could get any

Oh god. The only way this could get any dumber is, I don't know, deporting 10

dumber is, I don't know, deporting 10

dumber is, I don't know, deporting 10 million people and then realizing that

million people and then realizing that

million people and then realizing that they were the ones who did all the hard

they were the ones who did all the hard

they were the ones who did all the hard jobs. And that's really what makes

jobs. And that's really what makes

jobs. And that's really what makes Christy Gnome so despicable because Oh,

Christy Gnome so despicable because Oh,

Christy Gnome so despicable because Oh, god damn it, Jordan. No. Uh-uh. Turn it

god damn it, Jordan. No. Uh-uh. Turn it

god damn it, Jordan. No. Uh-uh. Turn it off. Just turn it off.

off. Just turn it off.

off. Just turn it off. >> What's the problem, Desi? Huh?

>> What's the problem, Desi? Huh?

>> What's the problem, Desi? Huh? Getting a little too America loving in

Getting a little too America loving in

Getting a little too America loving in here for you?

here for you?

here for you? >> How is Camptown Races America loving?

>> How is Camptown Races America loving?

>> How is Camptown Races America loving? I'm running out of public domain songs.

I'm running out of public domain songs.

I'm running out of public domain songs. Okay. But

Okay. But

Okay. But >> look, at least I'm trying. You didn't

>> look, at least I'm trying. You didn't

>> look, at least I'm trying. You didn't even start the show off with the pledge

even start the show off with the pledge

even start the show off with the pledge of allegiance.

of allegiance.

of allegiance. >> I don't need to prove my patriotism by

>> I don't need to prove my patriotism by

>> I don't need to prove my patriotism by doing the pledge of allegiance. That's

doing the pledge of allegiance. That's

doing the pledge of allegiance. That's stupid.

stupid.

stupid. >> That's because you don't know it.

>> That's because you don't know it.

>> That's because you don't know it. >> Oh, I of course I know it. I I think you

>> Oh, I of course I know it. I I think you

>> Oh, I of course I know it. I I think you don't know it.

don't know it.

don't know it. >> No, I know it. I just want you to do it

>> No, I know it. I just want you to do it

>> No, I know it. I just want you to do it first to prove that you know it.

first to prove that you know it.

first to prove that you know it. >> Okay, fine. Fine. I pledge of allegiance

>> Okay, fine. Fine. I pledge of allegiance

>> Okay, fine. Fine. I pledge of allegiance to the flag of the United States of

to the flag of the United States of

to the flag of the United States of America.

America.

America. A Jay-Z song is on.

A Jay-Z song is on.

A Jay-Z song is on. A Jay-Z song was on.

A Jay-Z song was on.

A Jay-Z song was on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a party in

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a party in

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a party in the USA. That's it.

Are Are you kidding me? YOU NAILED THAT.

Are Are you kidding me? YOU NAILED THAT.

Are Are you kidding me? YOU NAILED THAT. I KNOW. I KNOW. JORDAN CLEVER.

I KNOW. I KNOW. JORDAN CLEVER.

I KNOW. I KNOW. JORDAN CLEVER. >> SUCK IT. CHINA.

>> SUCK IT. CHINA.

>> SUCK IT. CHINA. >> Jordan Clever. EVERYONE.