Original subtitles

[BUGLE PLAYS "CHARGE"]

♪ The end of the Civil War Was near ♪

♪ When quite accidentally ♪

♪ A hero who sneezed Abruptly seized ♪

♪ Retreat And reversed it to victory ♪

♪ His Medal of Honor Pleased and thrilled ♪

♪ His proud little Family group ♪

♪ While pinning it on Some blood was spilled ♪

♪ And so it was planned He'd command ♪

♪ F Troop! ♪

♪ Where Indian fights Are colorful sights ♪

♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪

♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪

♪ Both turn chicken ♪

♪ When drilling and fighting Get them down ♪

♪ They know their morale Can't droop ♪

♪ As long as they all Relax in town ♪

♪ Before they resume With a bang and a boom ♪

♪ F Troop! ♪

[♪♪♪]

Troop, halt.

Right face.

At ease.

Now, what are you guys doing down there?

I lost my glasses, sarge.

We're helping him look for 'em.

You look for them later.

Now, get in formation.

All right, make room for 'em. Come on.

Get in there.

Anything to report this morning, sergeant?

Well, just that Vanderbilt here lost his glasses, sir.

Oh. Well, right after muster,

we'll send out a search party.

Yes, sir.

Wilton!

Wilton, I got something for you.

Janey, please don't call me Wilton in front of the men.

A telegraph message for you, Captain Parmenter.

That's better.

"This is to announce,

"there will be an Army-sponsored marksmanship contest

"next Saturday afternoon at Fort Bravo.

"F Troop is hereby invited

"to send their representative.

Signed, Inspector General Burton."

Oh... Oh, man.

This is a golden opportunity for F Troop

to carve a niche in military history.

Now... to whom will go the glory

of representing us at this marksmanship contest?

I'll do it, Wilton.

I mean, Captain Parmenter.

I'm the best shot in town, you know.

No, no, Janey. We can't do that.

You're not in the Army.

Why, in fact, you couldn't even pass the physical.

Just a moment, Vanderbilt.

This has to be open competition.

See? Now, what we'll do is

we'll have a shooting contest for the whole fort,

and then the winner will represent F Troop.

Dobbs, sound chow call.

[PLAYING "CHOW CALL" BADLY]

[GLASS BREAKING]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Oh.

Vanderbilt?

Here.

We found your glasses.

[♪♪♪]

Heh-heh. Whoa, there, boy.

Oh, boy.

Beautiful!

Yeah, Wild Eagle ought to love them.

Native Indian headdress.

You'll sell a load of these.

Yeah. I hope you remember to take all the labels out.

I wouldn't want him to know they were made in Jersey City.

[TWO GUNSHOTS]

What the...?

I think he's already found out

they were made in Jersey City.

Come on, chief. Is this how you treat friends?

Will you stop already with the shooting.

My nephew, Johnny Eagle Eye.

He thinks he Davy Crockett crack shot.

Him not crack shot. Him crackpot.

I heard that.

That no way to talk about my son.

Him good boy.

Me raise him to be gentleman.

She my sister, Whispering Breeze.

Your... Your sister?

Agarn.

Mouth like roaring tornado.

Him, Corporal Agarn. Him, Sergeant O'Rourke, F Troop.

Ma'am, may we present you

with a... A nice little souvenir.

Genuine Indian war bonnet.

Again, Jersey City?

My husband's Sitting Bull.

Him go to Arizona.

Me come here, with Johnny Eagle Eye.

Husband believe in separate vacation.

Come for weekend... 12 days ago.

Mrs. Bull, how would you like

to surprise your husband, Sitting Bull,

with a nice souvenir of your vacation?

A solid 17-jewel gold watch

made in Switzerland.

What Switzerland?

This also Jersey City.

[GUNSHOT]

That goes on your bill.

Your son, the sharpshooter.

Why you not tell him to cut that out?

We progressive.

Say no to boy,

him feel unloved, sad, unwanted.

Him make one more shot, him not feel unwanted.

Him feel pain.

Pain!

I give him good smack right in buckskins.

WHISPERING BREEZE: Johnny, darling,

come now.

Have nice lunch.

Me no hungry, Ma.

Leave me alone. Me just getting warmed up.

Hey. See caterpillar on top of tree?

Wait a minute. You can see a caterpillar

on the top of that tree?

That must be 500 feet.

Me shoot him right between eyes.

Me got him.

You can shoot a caterpillar

twixt the eyes from 500 feet?

Why not?

Yeah.

Last night, to light pipe,

Johnny Eagle Eye, thousand feet away,

shoot match out of hand.

He can really shoot that good, huh?

Hey, Wild Eagle, would you, uh,

excuse us for just a minute.

I got it, Agarn.

Johnny Eagle Eye is gonna represent F Troop

in the shooting contest. F Troop?

He ain't in the Army. He's an Indian.

All we gonna do is put him in a suit of buckskins,

and he's Indian scout.

Oh, I see. Mm.

What do you wanna do that for?

Have you ever heard of

Sergeant Crawford at Fort Bravo?

Yeah. Crawford's the best shot in the Army.

Was the best shot in the Army.

Can you imagine how much we can win

bettin' that a man from F Troop

can beat Sergeant Crawford?

Oh, sarge. We are rich, rich.

Count. Count, my boy.

Johnny, my boy,

how would you like to go with Corporal Agarn and me, here,

and enter a sharpshooting contest?

Win yourself a nice, big solid-gold medal.

Sharpshooting contest? Me best in West.

Again with gun?

Why you not use bow and arrow, like rest of Indians?

WHISPERING BREEZE: Where you go with my son?

Him just a boy.

Me no want him running around with strangers.

Ah, we'll be back in a few days.

As a matter of fact,

we'll have him back on Saturday night.

You take him away till Saturday?

Good idea! Go... Good idea.

He'll come back a... A winner.

A big celebrity.

You'll be proud of him.

He'll win a gold medal from our leader.

Geronimo?

No, no, not your leader. Our leader.

The president of the United States.

A medal from your president?

That, I'll frame.

All right, Johnny boy, come on.

We'll have him back on Saturday night.

Nights are colder here.

You go out, you wear sweater.

Now, gentlemen,

we're going to have some elimination ru...

Well, some, uh, qualifying rounds

for the marksmanship contest.

Duffy, you give it a try.

Yes, sir.

[COUGHING] Sorry about that, captain.

I haven't used it much lately. Yes.

Perhaps we should...

save you in case there's ever a...

A pie-eating contest, Duffy.

Whoa, yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

There.

Here we go, Johnny.

Ah.

Captain...

I want to introduce you to Johnny Eagle Eye.

Ah. Mr. Eye, how do you do?

How. How.

We were out on patrol, sir.

We were almost caught in an Indian ambush.

And Johnny here came ridin' along and...

And he saved us.

Drove off 10 of them. Ten?

Six? Six?

Three? That's right, sir.

Yes, sir. And right there in the field,

he agreed to become a scout for F Troop.

Oh, uh, ju... Just a minute, sergeant.

I-is this regulation?

Well, don't you worry about any of the details, sir.

I'll take care of all the necessary paperwork.

Oh. Well, we're certainly happy

to have you join us, Johnny Eagle Eye.

Ah, you won't be sorry, captain.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Uh, we're having some tryouts

for the shooting contest.

Oh, captain, there's something I want you to see.

Wait till you see this, captain.

Uh, Johnny, would you mind shooting at that bull's-eye?

[SCOFFS] Bull's-eye.

[COCKS GUN]

[GUNSHOT]

[COCKS GUN]

[GUNSHOT]

My word.

Where did you ever learn to shoot like that?

[CHUCKLES]

How would like for Johnny here

to represent us at the, uh...

At the contest

on Saturday afternoon, captain?

Oh, that would be fine.

But would it be fair?

I mean, he's only a scout. He's not in the troop.

Captain, have you ever known me

to suggest anything underhanded,

or un... Unethical, or unfair?

How could anybody say a thing

like that about you, sarge?

Oh. I'm sorry, sergeant. I...

I hope you'll accept my apology.

Mm. All right, sir.

Men!

We will be represented in the forthcoming

marksmanship contest

by our new scout, Johnny Eagle Eye.

[CHEERING]

Gosh, darn. With Johnny Eagle Eye,

We're a sure bet to beat that Sergeant Crawford

from Fort Bravo.

[LAUGHING] Yeah.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Did I hear the word "bet"?

Now, let me remind everyone...

that section six, article five

absolutely forbids members of the Armed Forces

to make wages or to gamble

in any way whatsoever.

Sergeant, I'm counting on you

to see that no bets are made.

Uh... Captain, I promise you

that you will not see any of these men gambling.

All right, you guys. Now, remember this.

None of you do any gambling. I'm covering all the action.

Crawford, how much are you and the gang

from Fort Bravo, here, ready to bet?

Just a second, O'Rourke.

You bettin' that somebody from F Troop's

gonna outshoot me next Saturday?

Yeah, that's what we're bettin'.

That's what we're bettin'.

[LAUGHING]

You must be kiddin'.

How much we got to put up?

How about $750?

There you are, O'Rourke.

Is that all?

Why, I thought you guys would go for at least a thousand.

[LAUGHS]

All right. All right.

Make it a thousand.

Hey, Charlie, hang onto that for us till Saturday.

Bettin' against Crawford, huh? Yeah.

All right.

Just watch this.

A double shot.

A chip... and the moose...

with one bullet.

Sarge?

Do you think I could get my $2 back?

Sarge, are you sure Eagle Eye

can outshoot Crawford?

I'm so sure of it, I'd bet my last dollar on it.

In fact, I have bet my last dollar on it...

Morgan!

There's an Indian woman at the gate.

She wants in.

Sarge, that must be Eagle Eye's mama.

Do you know what will happen to us

if she blabs to anybody

that we brought Sitting Bull's son here

to shoot for F Troop in a marksman's contest?

That's consorting with the enemy.

That's treason!

What are you worried about treason for?

Did you ever hear of bankruptcy?

That is worse than treason.

Me want in gate.

O'ROURKE: All right, all right.

We're comin'. Ah. Here we are.

Oh. Hello. Me want to see son.

Uh, shh! You don't wanna wake up the captain.

He takes a nap every afternoon.

Never mind captain. What about son?

Well, he's fine, Mrs. Breeze.

Not Mrs. Breeze. Mrs. Bull.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Bull. I'm...

I'm terribly sorry about that.

And if anything happens to my son,

you'll hear from Sitting Bull.

Me bring some clean socks, oatmeal cookies,

Indian pudding.

Eat good?

Oh, yes, ma'am. Oh, yes, yes.

He's very well.

Me come Saturday.

Take Johnny Eagle Eye home.

Oh, no, no, no, ma'am. Don't come here.

No, no. We'll bring him to the Hekawi camp ourselves.

What time you bring him tomorrow?

Eight o'clock on Saturday night.

You not forget?

If not Johnny Eagle Eye not home by Saturday,

I tell Sitting Bull to get unga funga manzalanza.

What's that? That mean he come here

with 10,000 braves for revenge.

Crumble Fort Courage... [CRACK] like this.

We promise you, he'll be back.

Yeah. Yes, you can go right on back, now.

We'll... We'll look after Johnny...

And I'll take the basket.

Don't forget extra blanket. Uh, yes, ma'am, extra blanket.

Fathers work from sun to sun.

Mamas work never done.

Yes.

He... Uh, any problems, sergeant?

Oh, no. Just a squaw was selling us

some of these oatmeal cookies, sir.

Oh?

You've got to find that squaw.

Why, sir?

To get the recipe.

These are good. Try one.

Wilton... Janey,

I've told you, not in front of the men.

Captain Parmenter,

this wire just came from the inspector general.

Oh.

Oh.

This is splendid news. Just splendid.

Oh, what is it, sir? What's happened, sir?

The inspector general himself will be at Fort Bravo

to judge the shooting contest.

Oh, that's nice, sir.

That is splendid, sir.

No, but here's the best part. Listen to this:

"The winner of the contest will be transferred

"immediately to Washington for a permanent post

as bodyguard to the president."

Washington?

Bodyguard? President?!

[GAGGING]

[♪♪♪]

It's a disaster!

Sarge, what are we gonna do?

Relax, relax, will you? This is not a time to panic.

It's a time for calm judgment.

Now, let's see where we stand, here.

Johnny Eagle Eye goes to Washington,

the Army gets us for treason.

Treason? Did you hear what he said?

Is that... Treason!

You were only looking at the bright side of things.

If he goes to Washington, you got Sitting Bull

with a standing army of 10,000 braves here,

looking for our scalps.

No contest.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

On the other hand, if he doesn't go in the contest,

we lose $1,000.

One thousand dollars.

Ten thousand braves, here.

You know what he'll do to us?

We'll be Indian pudding. Indian pudding.

Ah, there's only one thing to do.

We've got to lose the thousand dollars.

We have got to get Johnny Eagle Eye...

to go home.

Yeah, so I guess you'll just have to skip

the shooting contest and go on

back to the Hekawi camp.

No. Me win shoot contest. Me best shot in Army.

Me go Washington.

Go on home! Your mother's calling you.

You gotta go home, Johnny.

Oh, yeah?

[GUN COCKS]

Who gonna make me?

My son?

Go to Washington, 2000 mile away?

Me send message to Sitting Bull.

Uh, now, wait a minute, Mama. There's still some hope.

There is? For who?

Well, I mean, if he loses, he comes right home.

Him lose?

You mean, he just never... N-never loses?

Him lose once, when 12 years old.

Father shoot better.

Him go goony-goony.

Goony-goony?

Hold breath, turn purple.

Throw tomahawk. Run away from home.

For two years, we call him,

"my son, the sore loser."

So if we could get somebody to beat him...

Who in F Troop could beat him?

O'ROURKE: You can do it, Janey.

You're the best shot in the territory.

Me? But I'm not in F Troop.

We'll take care of that.

We'll take care of everything.

Janey, you gotta do this for Wilton.

Yeah. Poor Wilton.

What a mistake.

Mistake?

Oh, he didn't know. He's the trusting type.

He let Johnny Eagle Eye in as a scout.

And now we found out that Johnny is a son of...

Are you ready? - -Sitting Bull.

Sitting Bull's son is a scout for F Troop?

Yes, and if he wins that contest tomorrow

and goes to Washington, the whole truth will be out.

Why, they'll bust Wilton down from captain.

He'll wind up peeling potatoes in Hoboken.

They'll take Wilton away?

Let me get my rifle.

I can shoot the sideburns

off a bald-headed possum at 200 yards.

She can't be in that contest.

It's gotta be somebody in F Troop.

Hm.

I got just the man to teach Johnny Eagle Eye a lesson.

Me?

Challenge Johnny Eagle Eye to a shooting contest?!

Now, listen, Vanderbilt. I'm telling you,

you only need these glasses for reading.

Some of our greatest marksmen were nearsighted.

Right, Agarn? Right.

Now, you take Daniel Boone. Davy Crockett.

Robin Hood. Why, they all wore glasses at home.

Uh, Robin Hood too?

Confidence is the key word.

Now, Agarn, you take this card

and hold it in your hand, and stand over there.

[PAINED LAUGHTER]

Come. All right, Vanderbilt. Here we go.

Now, I want you to shoot that card out of his hand.

What card? Whose hand?

Wait a minute.

Whoop, whoop, whoop. Over here.

We're... We're zeroing in on him. That's it.

We're zero... Now you've got him in your sights.

That's it.

Let it go.

[SHUDDERS]

Oh!

Look at that card. Look at that card.

You shot the eye right out of the jack.

What jack? Right here. Right here.

Say, listen, let's us go

challenge that Johnny Eagle Eye.

Right! Let's go.

Up. Come on. Let's go.

Wonderful. There we go.

Right.

[♪♪♪]

Well, here he is, captain.

Uh... Here he is.

Private Vanderbilt is challenging Johnny Eagle Eye?

Well, he says that he can eliminate

Johnny Eagle Eye, sir.

We must give every man a fair chance.

Open competition, you know.

Him? Yeah. Me.

[LAUGHS] We shoot.

I didn't know Private Vanderbilt

was a good shot.

Oh, but he's very modest, captain. Very modest.

But behind those glasses

are the eyes of a hawk.

All right, Johnny.

You first. Ready?

Aim... Fire.

That was about one inch off the bull's-eye.

One inch off?

Okay, well, it must have been the wind.

Now, you want to allow for the wind, Vanderbilt.

All right, you're next.

Has to have his little joke, sir.

All right, here we are.

Oh, and let's...

Let's take care of the glasses, now.

Farsighted, as you know, sir.

Here we go.

Here we go... Vanderbilt!

That's it.

Now, ready?

Uh, aim... Fire!

Direct hit.

I must admit, I'm amazed at you, Vanderbilt.

Thank you, captain.

Me no understand.

Me never miss bull's-eye.

All right, now, let's move on to the bottles.

All right. Johnny, you first.

Yes, you... You try for the first three.

Mm.

[GUN COCKS]

Ready?

Aim... Fire.

A miss. Didn't hit any of the bottles.

[SHOUTING IN HEKAWI]

Something wrong. Me never miss bottles!

[GUN COCKS]

[GUN COCKS]

Nothing. No hits.

Well, must be the strain of the competition.

Lots of fellas get nervous under pressure.

Me not nervous!

Well, maybe we'll make it a little fairer.

Have Vanderbilt here shoot over his shoulder and use a mirror.

All right? No, no, no!

Here we go.

There we go.

Yeah. Oop... Whoop, turn right.

That's it. Now, we'll just...

We'll just give you a little handicap, here.

Hand...? Me no need handicap!

Ready? Aim... Fire.

Ready?

Aim... Fire.

Ready?

Aim... Fire.

Three out of three. Perfect.

Ha! Well, I guess that shows... [GRUNTING]

who's the best shot in F Troop.

Congratulations, Vanderbilt.

Thank you, sergeant.

We've had Vanderbilt with us all this time,

and we never knew what a fantastic marksman he is.

Why didn't you tell us, Vanderbilt?

Well, like I said, captain.

Modesty. Modesty.

Could I have my glasses, now?

Oh, yeah, here you are, Vanderbilt.

Right... Ri... Ri... Right here.

Well, Johnny boy... [JOHNNY GRUNTING]

He... Here, here, now. If you practice enough,

maybe next year you can try again.

[GRUNTING] Now, you see,

shooting by yourself is one thing,

but shooting in competition, that's another thing altogether.

Vanderbilt, here, is a seasoned competitor.

Very seasoned.

Uh... I'm afraid you were just outclassed.

Me no go shoot contest. Me no like Army!

Me no like F Troop. Me go home!

Is that permissible? I mean, isn't he a scout

assigned to F Troop?

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, captain.

These, uh, Indian scout assignments

are temporary at best.

I'm sure you'll be hearing from Washington soon.

Besides, we wouldn't want a sore loser in F Troop.

Oh, no. Absolutely not, sergeant.

Absolutely not.

Vanderbilt... I take great pleasure

in announcing that you are the official representative

of F Troop in tomorrow's shooting contest.

Thank you, captain. I'll do my best.

This thing's...

No, no, no, no, no! Give me that.

Don't ever train.

You'll go stale.

You've got a rough day coming up tomorrow.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CHUCKLING] Oh, sarge.

A thousand dollars down the drain.

Yeah, I know, I know.

At least we didn't have to go to the contest.

That would've broken my heart.

I hate to think about it.

Vanderbilt shooting against Crawford...

Uh, don't say it out loud.

Sergeant? Corporal? Anybody here?

Vanderbilt. It's all right. It's all right.

It wasn't really your fault.

Anybody could have a bad day.

Gentlemen.

Captain.

PARMENTER: Look at this.

"Awarded to F Troop:

Winner of Marksmanship award."

Vanderbilt beat Crawford?

Yeah. Oh, no.

He didn't really beat him.

Crawford was disqualified.

Crawford, disqualified?

They checked into his papers

when he applied to enter the contest,

and they found out he's really an Indian.

His real name is Crowfoot.

You mean, Crawford is Crowfoot?

Really?

Yes. He was never officially inducted into the Army.

He was going to enter the shooting contest

under false pretenses.

[GASPS]

Ah, well, it just proves one thing.

O, what a tangled web we weave,

When first we practice to deceive.

True.

That's beautiful, sergeant.

Ah, just a passing thought, sir.

No, really. That's good thinking.

Really good thinking.

Say... I wonder if every Sunday,

you might be persuaded to give the men

an inspirational talk.

Glad to, sir.

Hey, Wild Eagle.

[GRUNTS]

Here's the payment for all those souvenirs.

Stagecoach came through. Had a lot of tourists.

Sure is nice and quiet around here.

Yeah.

Johnny Eagle Eye not shoot anymore.

Just stay in wigwam, cry a lot.

Huh. Aren't they leaving today?

Today happy day.

Whispering Breeze and son go home.

No more relatives.

Well, you can thank us for that.

We certainly stopped all that shootin'.

Me glad they go.

His boom-boom and her yak yak

make me go "coo-coo."

[LAUGHS]

How. Hm.

Me greet sergeant. Me greet corporal.

Me bring good news.

Johnny Eagle Eye stop crying.

That good news.

Me find way to make Johnny happy.

Oh, that's nice.

What's he doing now?

Here he comes.

[LOUD, SCATTERED DRUMBEAT]

Oh, no!

We no go now.

We stay two more weeks.

Johnny take drum lessons

from your medicine man.

Play, darling.

Play nice.

Two more weeks!

[SCREAMS]

[♪♪♪]