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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:26,983 ♪ Oh, darling 2 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:31,901 ♪ I love you in the morning 3 00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,164 ♪ I love you in the afternoon 4 00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:36,427 Chuck, you know I love you. 5 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,212 Of course, Betty. I love you too. 6 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,867 And I know I've made you wait a long time. 7 00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,043 Yeah. 8 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:45,480 A long time. 9 00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:48,961 Well tonight, that all ends. 10 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,398 What do you mean? 11 00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,662 Chuck, tonight is the night 12 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,272 I'm going to give myself to you. 13 00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:59,102 I'm ready to take things to the next level. 14 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,582 Are you sure? 15 00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:01,713 We're gonna do it? 16 00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:04,847 All right. 17 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:11,288 ♪ Oh, darling 18 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:16,032 ♪ Whatever I have to do ♪ 19 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,818 ♪ Oh, pretty baby 20 00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:23,431 ♪ How I'm in love with you 21 00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:48,586 ♪ Your eyes, they hypnotize me 22 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:53,896 ♪ Your walk is so divine ♪ 23 00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:59,031 ♪ So I will keep on asking you 24 00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:02,122 ♪ Until you will be mine 25 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:07,083 ♪ Whoa, darlin' 26 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:12,044 ♪ I love you I the morning 27 00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:15,744 ♪ I love you in the afternoon 28 00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:19,443 ♪ How soon will you love me 29 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,058 That was awesome. 30 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:27,321 Yeah. 31 00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:29,497 But... 32 00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:33,718 now that my virginity is behind us, 33 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:36,286 I think I'm ready to take things to the next level. 34 00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:38,506 What do you mean? 35 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:39,811 I thought we just did. 36 00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,684 Come on, Chuck, don't be coy. 37 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,338 You know what I mean. 38 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:45,426 Anal. 39 00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:48,080 Seriously? 40 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,996 Yeah, I love you, Chuck, 41 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,215 and I know you love me. 42 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,176 ♪ Giddyup horsie 43 00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:58,221 ♪ Come on, let go 44 00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,487 Yeah. 45 00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:06,011 ♪ Who's riding your pony 46 00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,753 ♪ Holy poly 47 00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:11,452 yeah. 48 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,540 Oh, yeah. 49 00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,416 Wow. 50 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,463 I know. 51 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,116 That fucking ruled! 52 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,249 But... 53 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,424 But what? 54 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:31,646 Well, it's just now that the ass sex 55 00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,735 is in the bag, 56 00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:36,433 I think we're ready to take things to the next level. 57 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,785 What other level is there? 58 00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:45,050 Next level! 59 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,313 Who are they? 60 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,358 Next level! 61 00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:55,583 Next level! 62 00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:58,629 Next level! 63 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,850 No more levels. 64 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,421 I'll be right back. 65 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,040 Maybe I rush things. 66 00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,192 ♪ Sex me up 67 00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:42,020 ♪ And I'll sex you down 68 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,761 ♪ Whatever you want 69 00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,676 ♪ Is my command 70 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,374 ♪ I'm into S&M 71 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,289 ♪ I'm neither butch or fam 72 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:51,073 ♪ And now don't you understand 73 00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,205 ♪ I'm into any ma'am 74 00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,207 ♪ Sex me up 75 00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,687 ♪ And I'll sex you down 76 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,602 ♪ I get on the floor 77 00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:00,604 ♪ I turn around 78 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,476 ♪ Get on my hands and knees 79 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,216 ♪ On your command I freeze 80 00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:05,914 ♪ I hope this never cease 81 00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:08,046 ♪ Come get me won't you please 82 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,744 ♪ But she won't hold me 83 00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:11,746 ♪ And she won't squeeze me 84 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:13,530 ♪ Do what you told me 85 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,271 ♪ She lover please now 86 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,229 ♪ 'Cause she won't hold me 87 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:19,188 ♪ And she won't squeeze me 88 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:20,929 ♪ Do what you told me 89 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,887 ♪ She'll only tease me 90 00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,759 ♪ Hey 91 00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:42,254 ♪ She said hey 92 00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:47,085 ♪ I said hey sex me up 93 00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:49,131 ♪ And I'll sex you down 94 00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:50,741 ♪ Sex me up 95 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,787 ♪ And I'll sex you down 96 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:57,008 ♪ Sex me up and I'll sex you down ♪ 97 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,406 Remember, students, 98 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,190 it's Sexual Awareness Month. 99 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,715 Gentlemen, pick up your free condoms in the gym. 100 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:08,759 And, ladies... 101 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:09,978 Oh, I got Leila tonight. 102 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,937 - Same chick as the night before? - You crazy? 103 00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:14,243 I can't have the same chick coming around 104 00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,940 two nights in a row. 105 00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:17,420 That's bordering on a relationship right there. 106 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,900 I like to play the field. 107 00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,292 This is exactly what I don't understand. 108 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:21,729 How does he do it? 109 00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,252 He just goes out and gets it done, man. 110 00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,775 That's how he does it. 111 00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,342 You can't sit around and wait for Santa 112 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,344 to bring you some ass under the tree. 113 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,477 Dude, how psyched are you for first period? 114 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,609 Mr. Matthews' sex ed class. 115 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,437 Man, the dude's a total freak. 116 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,830 Can't wait to go on there and talk about 117 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,571 all the ass we've slammed. 118 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,442 It's gonna be awesome, bro. 119 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:40,704 No doubt, bro. 120 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,101 I can't take this class. 121 00:06:46,144 --> 00:06:48,364 Why not? 122 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,062 Why not? Did you not just hear that conversation? 123 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:54,022 Yeah. What did he say, how much ass we've slammed? 124 00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:56,372 - Yeah, bro. - Exactly. No. 125 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,461 The class is just gonna be with a bunch of pervs 126 00:06:58,505 --> 00:06:59,941 who are open about their sex lives. 127 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,464 And frankly, I don't have one. 128 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,379 That's sad. You're not bad-looking. 129 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,033 And your legs work. 130 00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,948 And I'm not gonna have sex with just anybody 131 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,166 'cause I know that's what you two 132 00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,516 are thinking right now, sorry. 133 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,126 Not gonna happen. 134 00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:12,649 Doesn't have to just be anybody. 135 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:14,738 Look, look, look. How about you start off 136 00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,697 with a nice little virgin like Betty? 137 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,439 Hey, Betty. 138 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,136 Okay, everyone, bring it on in. 139 00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:24,139 We got a lot to do and little time to cover it. 140 00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:27,534 I can feel the sexuality brewing in here already. 141 00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,274 Oh, no. Stacy's in this class? 142 00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:31,102 What do you mean, oh, no? 143 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,974 You've been trying to tap that since the fifth grade? 144 00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:34,192 This is an opportunity. 145 00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:35,498 You're in a class with her. 146 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,152 Go talk to her! 147 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,675 - What would I say? - Listen, 148 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,285 all a girl wants is for you to be yourself. 149 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,852 So do that, be yourself. 150 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,550 Or just shake your dick at her. 151 00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,247 You know, whatever feels right. 152 00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:47,858 Hi. 153 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,730 - Hello. - Hello. 154 00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:50,861 Hey, Stacy. 155 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,343 It looks like we're gonna be having sex together. 156 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,519 What? 157 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,042 Ed. Class. 158 00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,435 Sex ed class together. 159 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:04,005 I'm sorry, just [babbling], you know, woo! 160 00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:05,049 Bye. 161 00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:06,921 Yeah, later. 162 00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:09,576 My name is Mr. Matthews. 163 00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:12,492 First off, there is no teachers in here. 164 00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:16,539 Just a bunch of people exploring their sexuality, right? 165 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,541 So once you enter through that door, 166 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,543 you're coming through a no-bullshit zone. 167 00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,894 That's right. I said bullshit, huh? 168 00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,070 We're keeping it real in here, people. 169 00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:27,637 Now listen up. 170 00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:29,770 Teen sexuality is a living, breathing thing. 171 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,554 And we're gonna explore that concept 172 00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:32,990 from every different angle 173 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,470 we can get our greasy little hands on. 174 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,558 And you're gonna share. 175 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,255 I'm gonna share right now. 176 00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:39,431 Hell, I've had sex with koi fish. 177 00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:40,694 There, I said it. 178 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,173 Sometimes you find me naked 179 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,784 down the bottom of a funball pool 180 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,960 at your local fast food restaurant. 181 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,353 True story. Okay. 182 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:51,443 Let's do a little role playing exercise in here. 183 00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,358 I want each and every one of you 184 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:56,144 to decide that you're gonna have sex with someone 185 00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:57,537 for the very first time. 186 00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:00,670 Okay, partner up, people. 187 00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:01,845 Stacy needs a partner. 188 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,151 Seize the day, bro. 189 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,326 Man, screw the day. 190 00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:07,111 Seize the booty. 191 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,756 That's a good union there. 192 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,671 I like that. I saw that when I came in. 193 00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:48,239 Mr. Matthews? 194 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:49,763 Yes? 195 00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,678 I don't think there's any girls left. 196 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,637 Mike, human sexuality isn't always 197 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:55,899 between man and woman. 198 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,118 Stand up, Doug. 199 00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,468 Class, I'd like to introduce you 200 00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:01,601 to our first gay couple, Mike and Doug. 201 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,387 Just because they'll be experimenting 202 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,867 with man-on-man lovemaking 203 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:09,086 and assorted homo-buggery, 204 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,480 don't treat them any differently. 205 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,351 Mike, I think you're gonna be on bottom. 206 00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:16,441 Okay. 207 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,663 I'll be the stay-at-home dad. 208 00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,404 Oh, wow. 209 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,675 So, Matt, what advice do you have 210 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,677 for young people about sex? 211 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:37,419 Advice. Uh... 212 00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:40,030 Guys, be responsible. 213 00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:43,860 You know, always wear a rubber. 214 00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:47,429 Of course it feels way better to do it without one. 215 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,779 Unless, of course, it's a Vietnamese hooker. 216 00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,173 And then I think you just take your chances. 217 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,697 As long as there's a naked chick somewhere in the room, 218 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,525 you are not gay. 219 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:59,136 If you have an STD, do not tell your partner. 220 00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,399 It is a lose-lose situation. 221 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:04,098 Fellas, be nice to your partner. 222 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,230 In the morning, if she needs a ride home, 223 00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:07,884 point her to the nearest bus stop 224 00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:09,494 before you go back to sleep. 225 00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:11,583 Be a good guy. 226 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,153 Today, one out of three young adults 227 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,416 has a sexually transmitted disease. 228 00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,376 And letting a former hookup know 229 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,595 that you've got genital cooties can be pretty hard. 230 00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,645 Now there's an easier way. 231 00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:33,823 At STD-E-cards, you can share the bad news 232 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:34,998 with one click. 233 00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:38,088 Pick from such messages as 234 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:41,352 "You gave me your heart, I gave you gonorrhea." 235 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:44,660 Or "Thanks for the blowjob, sorry about the herpes." 236 00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:50,144 - It's from Kevin! - That hot guy 237 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,580 that you hooked up with this weekend? 238 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,495 - Yeah. - What's it say? 239 00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,366 "Roses are red, violets are blue. 240 00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,717 I gave you syphilis when we screwed at the zoo." 241 00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:03,374 That was easy. 242 00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:05,202 STD-E-cards, 243 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,639 where bad news travels fast. 244 00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:14,734 Attention, students. 245 00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:16,736 Prom is fast approaching. 246 00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:20,087 Get your free STD screening in the nurses' office. 247 00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,137 Hi, Carla. 248 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,791 Oh, hey. 249 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,228 Hey, listen, I know it's kind of last minute, 250 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:33,622 but I wanna know if you maybe wanna go to the prom 251 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:34,841 with me tonight. 252 00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:36,625 Oh, I'm sorry, Justin, 253 00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:39,541 someone already asked me three weeks ago. 254 00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:42,849 Oh, okay. That's all right. 255 00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,676 But have fun, though. 256 00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:28,068 I've been using these 257 00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:30,287 since the Eisenhower administration. 258 00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,291 Can I help you? 259 00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:35,292 Huh? 260 00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:36,816 Nuh-uh, no. 261 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,567 She's a real beaut, isn't she? 262 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,433 This just isn't right. 263 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,656 I wish we've met years ago. 264 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,878 ♪ So much love 265 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:43,926 ♪ You've given me so much love 266 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,146 ♪ Every day 267 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:51,151 ♪ The one thing I can count on ♪ 268 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:54,415 ♪ So much love ♪ 269 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:58,027 ♪ Like a river with no end 270 00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:02,902 I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon too. 271 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:06,427 ♪ You brought me love 272 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,342 ♪ Yes dream come true 273 00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:12,563 ♪ Everyday with you, so much love ♪ 274 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:18,221 Justin. I haven't seen you around much lately. 275 00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,744 I've been busy. 276 00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:21,746 Well, prom wasn't the same without you. 277 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,053 - Really? - Yeah. 278 00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,403 I was wondering if we could go out sometime. 279 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,101 - Me and you? - Dinner? 280 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:29,580 Maybe Saturday night? 281 00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,106 And just when I thought 282 00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,760 the night could not get any worse, 283 00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:38,415 he pukes all over my dress. 284 00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,156 It was horrible. 285 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,550 I'm sure you still looked beautiful, though. 286 00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,639 Thanks, but I didn't. 287 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:46,815 I had vomit all over me. 288 00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:48,599 You're so amazing. 289 00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:49,905 You really are. 290 00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:56,042 What, no, that's ridiculous. 291 00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:58,392 I'm going to play poker with some of the guys. 292 00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:00,568 Don't worry, I'll be back by 10, all right? 293 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,317 Hello? 294 00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,059 Hello. 295 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:16,323 Who is this? 296 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,585 Anyone there? 297 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,153 Look, don't be a pussy. 298 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,589 Just tell me who it is. 299 00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,984 Stop calling me! 300 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,072 Another prank call. 301 00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:31,860 I know what you're up to, 302 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,688 and it's gotta stop. 303 00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,646 Leave Carla alone! 304 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:37,779 It's over. Get used to it. 305 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:57,886 Where were you this morning? 306 00:16:57,929 --> 00:16:59,496 I thought you were gonna watch me practice. 307 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:02,325 Oh, sorry, I forgot. 308 00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,327 We'll are you coming to my game on Friday night? 309 00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,895 Actually, I'm going to Len's party with Stacy. 310 00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:08,288 You know what? There's someone else 311 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:09,941 who actually cares about me. 312 00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:10,986 Goodbye, Carla. 313 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,209 Justin, where are you going? 314 00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,003 What? 315 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,407 Why, why did you do this?! 316 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,062 Someone call 911! 317 00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:46,456 Help! 318 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,285 Why? 319 00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:53,855 Why? 320 00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:00,992 So what's the kinkiest thing 321 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,864 you've ever done in bed? 322 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,826 The two of us licked whipped cream 323 00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:10,089 off each other once. 324 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,438 That was fun. 325 00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,048 - That was pretty kinky. - Yeah. 326 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,137 What about you? 327 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,269 I don't know. 328 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,489 Come on, don't act all shy. 329 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,665 What if my parents are watching? 330 00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,232 Come on. 331 00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,799 Does it have to be the kinkiest thing 332 00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:27,062 that we've done together? 333 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,282 No, it could have been on your own. 334 00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:30,979 Well. 335 00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,850 This one time I had sex with this Black guy 336 00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,809 while his best friend did me in the ass. 337 00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,593 And then I sucked both their dicks 338 00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,900 at the same time! 339 00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:40,771 That was kinda kinky. 340 00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:41,946 What? 341 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,122 - That's great. - Baby. 342 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,394 Bring it on in. 343 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:56,439 We got a lot to do and a little time to do it. 344 00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,962 Wanna make sure we can cram it all in. 345 00:18:58,006 --> 00:18:59,964 That's what she said. 346 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,444 You guys know what I'm talking about. 347 00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:02,489 You gotta sit next to Stacy. 348 00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:03,968 You gotta be her partner. 349 00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,188 Yeah, man, don't be scared, go ahead. 350 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:07,842 All right. Good. 351 00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:10,149 We're all getting in a circle, this is great. 352 00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,150 Okay. 353 00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:15,066 Let's talk about penises. 354 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:16,155 Yeah! 355 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,852 That's right, everyone. 356 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:19,593 I said the big p word. 357 00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:21,986 Okay, the most common question. 358 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,466 What's normal? 359 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,208 Simple answer, there's no such thing. 360 00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:30,212 Penises come in a variety of different shapes and sizes. 361 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:32,301 Huh, all righty. 362 00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,390 As you can tell from the molds cast 363 00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:36,740 from actual penises we have here. 364 00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,483 Got them all different from all over the globe. 365 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,964 Now, the next one we like to call 366 00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:44,226 the Fire Plug. 367 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,923 It's short and stocky, 368 00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,491 but boy, when you get it excited, kablooey! 369 00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,799 Like a sawed-off shotgun, I tell ya. 370 00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,627 All right, what do we have next? 371 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:54,932 Now this one's called the Tadpole. 372 00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,456 Why is it called the Tadpole? 373 00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:57,935 'Cause it's got a larger head tapering down 374 00:19:57,979 --> 00:19:59,850 into a smaller shaft. 375 00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:03,767 We like to call this guy the Mushroom Cloud, if you will. 376 00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,334 Yeah, I thought you'd like that one. 377 00:20:05,378 --> 00:20:06,596 Oh. 378 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,250 Now this is an interesting one. 379 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:10,557 Looks small, but if you know how to use it, 380 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,298 I'll tell you it's quite a powerful weapon. 381 00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:14,300 It's called the Torpedo. 382 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,389 You know what I mean? Or the Meat Cone. 383 00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:17,738 'Cause it's got a tiny head 384 00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:19,653 tapering into a large shaft. 385 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:21,263 Nice. 386 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,265 Hand that guy around. That's a good one. 387 00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,224 We like to call that one the Roto Rooter. 388 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:29,053 Next we have what's called the Super Huge. 389 00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:30,881 That's right. 390 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:33,623 We also like to call this the Great American Challenge. 391 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,103 Ladies, you're gonna love 392 00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:37,323 the cervix stimulation on that guy. 393 00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,675 Okay, this next one's interesting, all right? 394 00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,329 I found this one online. 395 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,332 It's the Doubleheader, ladies and gentlemen. 396 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:48,334 It is out there, believe me. 397 00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:49,726 Hand that around. 398 00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,946 Okay everyone, pass 'em around. 399 00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:53,426 Look em up and down. 400 00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,515 Now, freeze. 401 00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,386 Okay, gentlemen, 402 00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:59,780 the penises in your hands, 403 00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:01,260 that is your penis. 404 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:04,567 Ladies, put your penises down 405 00:21:04,611 --> 00:21:06,917 and partner up with the person closest to you. 406 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:11,095 It looks like you got a small one, huh? 407 00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:13,010 Yeah. 408 00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:15,012 Okay, now I'm gonna hand out some condoms 409 00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,492 for each group. 410 00:21:16,536 --> 00:21:18,189 Here you go, everyone get a condom. 411 00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:19,582 Now, ladies and gentlemen, 412 00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:21,323 I'm gonna have you put the condom 413 00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,673 on the man's penis together. 414 00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:28,548 Okay, the reason I'm having you put these condoms on together 415 00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:32,552 is because contraception is both partners' responsibility. 416 00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:35,294 I have to say that. Sorry. 417 00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:42,039 Michael, looks like you got a little room there. 418 00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:44,825 That's because, Mike, you have a very small penis. 419 00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:50,483 Okay everyone, let's talk about fetishes. 420 00:21:50,526 --> 00:21:53,399 Now a fetish is basically an obsession 421 00:21:53,442 --> 00:21:55,314 with leather, black leather, 422 00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,359 and bits, mouth bits. 423 00:21:57,403 --> 00:21:59,535 Who likes a ball in their mouth, anyone? 424 00:22:03,887 --> 00:22:05,367 Oh, baby, you look so good. 425 00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:06,629 You wanna do it right now, baby? 426 00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,457 - Hell, yeah, I do. - Okay. 427 00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:14,245 Oh, wait. 428 00:22:14,289 --> 00:22:15,769 You know what would be even hotter? 429 00:22:15,812 --> 00:22:16,900 What? 430 00:22:20,034 --> 00:22:21,818 This. 431 00:22:21,862 --> 00:22:23,733 You want me to wear a hat? 432 00:22:23,777 --> 00:22:26,388 Oh, yeah, baby. That shit is so hot. 433 00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:27,694 - Okay. - Yeah, yeah. 434 00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:35,658 Wait. You know what else would be so smoking hot? 435 00:22:35,702 --> 00:22:36,790 What? 436 00:22:39,140 --> 00:22:40,881 This big mole. 437 00:22:40,924 --> 00:22:42,926 What? Ew! 438 00:22:42,970 --> 00:22:44,711 It's hot, trust me. 439 00:22:44,754 --> 00:22:46,060 For me? 440 00:22:46,103 --> 00:22:47,409 Fine. 441 00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:50,369 Now can we do it? 442 00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:51,500 Yeah. 443 00:23:07,995 --> 00:23:09,910 Ronny! What the hell? 444 00:23:09,953 --> 00:23:11,781 - What? - I didn't wanna say this 445 00:23:11,825 --> 00:23:13,957 but you clearly wanna have sex with Abraham Lincoln. 446 00:23:14,001 --> 00:23:15,263 That's crazy! 447 00:23:16,743 --> 00:23:17,787 Is it? 448 00:23:17,831 --> 00:23:19,093 Look around you, Ronny. 449 00:23:19,136 --> 00:23:20,660 You're obsessed with him! 450 00:23:20,703 --> 00:23:22,183 He was a great man. 451 00:23:22,226 --> 00:23:24,228 What's wrong with paying tribute? 452 00:23:26,143 --> 00:23:27,754 Paying tribute is one thing. 453 00:23:27,797 --> 00:23:29,277 Trying to turn your girlfriend into him 454 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,844 so you can get a hard-on is another. 455 00:23:30,887 --> 00:23:33,063 Yeah, I'm out of here. 456 00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:35,109 Call me when you get some therapy. 457 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:41,420 Sue. 458 00:23:41,768 --> 00:23:44,205 That was my last beard. 459 00:23:44,248 --> 00:23:46,033 Can the transporter be fixed, 460 00:23:46,076 --> 00:23:48,731 or is all hopeless for our heroines? 461 00:23:48,775 --> 00:23:50,733 Will Alice and Betty make it home? 462 00:23:50,777 --> 00:23:54,607 Find out next on Babes Lost in Time! 463 00:23:55,869 --> 00:23:57,000 Time! 464 00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:43,786 Forward into the past! 465 00:24:45,919 --> 00:24:47,355 Here I come, Abe! 466 00:26:55,048 --> 00:26:57,398 Ladies. 467 00:26:57,441 --> 00:26:59,792 You do not, I repeat, you do not have to have sex 468 00:26:59,835 --> 00:27:01,402 with a guy for him to like you. 469 00:27:03,056 --> 00:27:04,797 But it helps. 470 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,103 You wanna remain a virgin until you're married? 471 00:27:07,147 --> 00:27:09,453 Two words: butt sex. 472 00:27:09,497 --> 00:27:10,846 Look, 473 00:27:10,890 --> 00:27:12,065 if you like to be choked, it's okay. 474 00:27:12,108 --> 00:27:13,457 Everyone likes it a little. 475 00:27:13,501 --> 00:27:15,416 Just don't go too far. 476 00:27:15,459 --> 00:27:17,723 Blue is a warning sign. 477 00:27:23,554 --> 00:27:24,991 So what's the kinkiest thing 478 00:27:25,034 --> 00:27:26,601 either one of you has ever done in bed? 479 00:27:30,039 --> 00:27:31,475 - Woo! - Well, check it. 480 00:27:31,519 --> 00:27:33,086 I'm at the club one night 481 00:27:33,129 --> 00:27:34,914 and I meet this little white chick, right? 482 00:27:34,957 --> 00:27:36,524 So next thing you know, I get in her ear, man, 483 00:27:36,567 --> 00:27:38,308 and she lets me take her back to my spot 484 00:27:38,352 --> 00:27:41,442 and she did me and him at the same time. 485 00:27:41,485 --> 00:27:42,573 And then she blew us. 486 00:27:42,617 --> 00:27:43,923 - Woo man! - You're kidding. 487 00:27:43,966 --> 00:27:46,360 That girl was off the chain, man. 488 00:27:46,403 --> 00:27:48,710 Hey, you know, uh, shit, what can I say? 489 00:27:48,754 --> 00:27:50,190 That little little woman 490 00:27:50,233 --> 00:27:51,713 had a big old 12-pound pussy, man, 491 00:27:51,757 --> 00:27:52,932 where she get that from, man? 492 00:27:52,975 --> 00:27:54,629 There was a lot of acrobatics 493 00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:55,848 in that motherfucker, you know what I'm saying? 494 00:27:55,891 --> 00:27:57,327 You know what? She was small, 495 00:27:57,371 --> 00:27:58,720 but she did a lot of big things, baby. 496 00:27:58,764 --> 00:28:01,636 Hey, Kim, holla at your boy, woo! 497 00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:06,249 Women spend most of their time 498 00:28:06,293 --> 00:28:08,382 stretching their breasts, 499 00:28:08,425 --> 00:28:10,514 - adding a new ring each year. - Ooh. 500 00:28:10,558 --> 00:28:13,039 They probably like it when they stretch them. 501 00:28:13,082 --> 00:28:14,040 Yeah. 502 00:28:14,083 --> 00:28:15,650 I know they do. 503 00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:17,217 I could be there. 504 00:28:17,260 --> 00:28:19,349 Holy crap! It's Saturday night. 505 00:28:19,393 --> 00:28:21,743 You guys are getting stiffies watching PBS? 506 00:28:21,787 --> 00:28:22,831 You're pathetic. 507 00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:24,746 Get out of my room, RJ! 508 00:28:24,790 --> 00:28:26,400 Whatever, knock! 509 00:28:26,443 --> 00:28:27,706 Stupid. 510 00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:29,751 He's right, you know. 511 00:28:29,795 --> 00:28:31,622 I mean this is pathetic. 512 00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:33,146 What else are we gonna do? 513 00:28:33,189 --> 00:28:34,538 It's not like we can actually get laid. 514 00:28:34,582 --> 00:28:36,192 Let's just watch this. 515 00:28:36,236 --> 00:28:37,933 Unless we come up with a way 516 00:28:37,977 --> 00:28:40,153 to build an artificial woman from your computer. 517 00:28:41,894 --> 00:28:43,852 And then program her to have sex with us. 518 00:28:45,201 --> 00:28:46,550 You're a genius! 519 00:28:47,769 --> 00:28:48,814 This is stupid, Barry. 520 00:28:48,857 --> 00:28:50,424 Shut up. 521 00:28:50,467 --> 00:28:52,034 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 522 00:28:52,078 --> 00:28:53,732 Relax. I'm gonna give her Halle Berry's face. 523 00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:54,820 - Okay. - Beyoncé's ass. 524 00:28:54,863 --> 00:28:55,995 Right. 525 00:28:56,038 --> 00:28:57,779 Bam, Tyra's boobs. 526 00:28:57,823 --> 00:28:59,346 Tyra probably got bigger nipples than that. 527 00:28:59,389 --> 00:29:00,782 - Yeah, yeah. - Now what's all left to do 528 00:29:00,826 --> 00:29:02,218 is just gotta make sure she's horny, 529 00:29:02,262 --> 00:29:03,872 like really, really horny, though. 530 00:29:03,916 --> 00:29:05,482 This pair of panties, right? 531 00:29:05,526 --> 00:29:07,310 Where'd you get those from, your place? 532 00:29:07,354 --> 00:29:08,790 All right, you ready? Ready to lose your virginity? 533 00:29:08,834 --> 00:29:10,661 - Yeah, bro, I'm ready. - Say goodbye. 534 00:29:12,402 --> 00:29:13,621 - Oh! - Oh, oh! 535 00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:19,801 Ow, told you that was stupid, Barry. 536 00:29:19,845 --> 00:29:22,586 - Be quiet, Leon. - What you thinking? 537 00:29:27,417 --> 00:29:28,679 - Oh shit! - Ooh! 538 00:29:28,723 --> 00:29:30,246 Woo! 539 00:29:30,290 --> 00:29:32,945 So, who gonna fuck me first? 540 00:29:32,988 --> 00:29:34,903 - Ooh! - Him! Him! 541 00:29:34,947 --> 00:29:36,731 What the hell just happened? 542 00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,559 Panties. They was my aunt's. 543 00:29:38,602 --> 00:29:39,952 I knew, those were my aunt panties. 544 00:29:39,995 --> 00:29:41,562 What you waiting for? 545 00:29:41,605 --> 00:29:43,912 What, what did you say? Who was saying? 546 00:29:43,956 --> 00:29:45,261 - Okay, that's nasty. - Where you going? 547 00:29:45,305 --> 00:29:46,262 That's nasty. Where you going? 548 00:29:46,306 --> 00:29:48,134 Leon! Leon! 549 00:29:48,177 --> 00:29:49,831 Don't go! Leon! 550 00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:52,921 Well. I guess that means you first. 551 00:29:52,965 --> 00:29:54,575 No, it don't have to mean that. 552 00:29:54,618 --> 00:29:57,099 Come give mama a taste of that sweet chocolate! 553 00:29:57,143 --> 00:29:59,014 What you talking about? Chocolate ain't sweet. 554 00:29:59,058 --> 00:30:00,886 I'm your human sex toy, 555 00:30:00,929 --> 00:30:02,583 and I don't come with no off button! 556 00:30:02,626 --> 00:30:04,846 Listen I think-- 557 00:30:04,890 --> 00:30:07,718 You don't even have to wear no jimmy hat! 558 00:30:13,376 --> 00:30:17,467 Save your energy, I plan on coming a lot tonight! 559 00:30:29,915 --> 00:30:33,135 Come out, come out, wherever you are! 560 00:30:40,577 --> 00:30:42,101 Too big for me! 561 00:30:42,144 --> 00:30:44,494 You're too big for me! 562 00:30:44,538 --> 00:30:48,150 Your ball sack is about to get cracked! 563 00:30:48,194 --> 00:30:50,065 Oh, please let me go! 564 00:30:50,109 --> 00:30:51,284 Please, Jesus! 565 00:30:54,113 --> 00:30:56,724 You're good. 566 00:30:56,767 --> 00:31:00,423 I don't want no more. I don't want no more. 567 00:31:00,467 --> 00:31:02,686 No, I don't want it! 568 00:31:02,730 --> 00:31:03,862 You broke my bed. 569 00:31:14,829 --> 00:31:16,526 She's so big, why's she so big? 570 00:31:16,570 --> 00:31:18,224 I must have-- 571 00:31:18,267 --> 00:31:21,618 I probably hit F1 instead of enter, I don't know. 572 00:31:21,662 --> 00:31:23,403 Here I come. 573 00:31:23,446 --> 00:31:26,972 This time your ass is mine! 574 00:31:27,015 --> 00:31:28,147 No, it's not! 575 00:31:28,190 --> 00:31:29,888 No, it's not! 576 00:31:29,931 --> 00:31:31,193 This is my ass! 577 00:31:31,237 --> 00:31:32,803 It's not yours! 578 00:31:36,155 --> 00:31:37,591 Barry? Leon? 579 00:31:44,511 --> 00:31:45,991 "Press enter now"? 580 00:31:52,867 --> 00:31:55,043 ♪ Yeah 581 00:31:55,087 --> 00:31:56,827 ♪ Looking good baby 582 00:31:56,871 --> 00:31:58,568 - ♪ Mami's looking bueno ♪ - Whoa! 583 00:31:59,134 --> 00:32:00,614 You're cute. 584 00:32:00,657 --> 00:32:02,050 How old are you? 585 00:32:02,094 --> 00:32:04,226 Old enough. 586 00:32:08,361 --> 00:32:10,798 ♪ Here we go 587 00:32:12,191 --> 00:32:13,932 I know you're probably too young 588 00:32:13,975 --> 00:32:15,846 to be thinking about marriage. 589 00:32:15,890 --> 00:32:16,978 But take it from me, 590 00:32:17,022 --> 00:32:19,676 if you find somebody 591 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,461 that you want to spend the rest of your life with, 592 00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:23,202 there's nothing better. 593 00:32:24,072 --> 00:32:25,900 Thanks, sweetie. 594 00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,989 But, before you get married, 595 00:32:28,903 --> 00:32:31,950 make sure you explore all your options, guys. 596 00:32:31,993 --> 00:32:34,256 And bone as many chicks as you can. 597 00:32:35,605 --> 00:32:38,957 Well, ladies, be sure you take the long way 598 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,959 through Dick Town too. 599 00:32:41,002 --> 00:32:43,004 I bagged at least 50 guys 600 00:32:43,048 --> 00:32:47,313 before I met this asshole sitting next to me here. 601 00:32:47,356 --> 00:32:48,836 And a group of girls too. 602 00:32:48,879 --> 00:32:51,752 And it was no accident that I invited 603 00:32:51,795 --> 00:32:55,625 the electrician and the plumber on the same day. 604 00:32:55,669 --> 00:32:58,367 Ooh, woo, real hot. 605 00:32:58,411 --> 00:33:00,587 Guys, listen up. 606 00:33:00,630 --> 00:33:02,241 If you're planning on having a threesome, 607 00:33:02,284 --> 00:33:05,592 you better do it before you get married. 608 00:33:05,635 --> 00:33:09,030 But trust me, there's no better sensation 609 00:33:10,162 --> 00:33:12,251 than two women making out 610 00:33:12,294 --> 00:33:14,340 while riding your Johnson. 611 00:33:14,383 --> 00:33:15,994 I almost forgot. 612 00:33:16,037 --> 00:33:17,560 Book yourself a ticket to-- 613 00:33:17,604 --> 00:33:20,128 Try sleeping with your fiancée's best man 614 00:33:21,260 --> 00:33:22,870 and his brother 615 00:33:22,913 --> 00:33:24,959 at the wedding reception. 616 00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:30,008 Very hot. 617 00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,827 Great. 618 00:34:28,631 --> 00:34:33,071 Oh. 619 00:34:33,114 --> 00:34:34,072 That's nice. 620 00:34:42,210 --> 00:34:43,298 Oh shit. 621 00:34:51,132 --> 00:34:53,613 Dammit, dammit, dammit! 622 00:34:53,656 --> 00:34:55,528 Honey, dinner's ready! 623 00:34:55,571 --> 00:34:57,138 Oh, my God. 624 00:34:57,182 --> 00:34:58,444 Oh, my God. 625 00:34:58,487 --> 00:34:59,619 Oh, this is bad. 626 00:35:02,926 --> 00:35:04,493 Can you pass the mashed potatoes, please? 627 00:35:04,537 --> 00:35:05,799 Certainly. 628 00:35:05,842 --> 00:35:06,974 Thank you. 629 00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:11,500 Mmm, everything is delicious, dear. 630 00:35:18,681 --> 00:35:21,989 Did you pick up your condoms for the prom? 631 00:35:22,032 --> 00:35:23,686 Yeah, they gave 'em out for free at school today. 632 00:35:23,730 --> 00:35:24,992 - They did? - Yeah. 633 00:35:25,035 --> 00:35:26,167 Great. 634 00:35:26,211 --> 00:35:27,516 Thanks, though. 635 00:35:36,264 --> 00:35:38,614 Honey, is your vagina ringing? 636 00:35:38,658 --> 00:35:40,138 Dad. 637 00:35:40,181 --> 00:35:41,661 That's ridiculous. 638 00:35:46,709 --> 00:35:48,058 Sounded like it. 639 00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:52,541 Okay. 640 00:35:52,585 --> 00:35:54,587 We've learned a lot here. Class dismissed. 641 00:35:56,241 --> 00:35:58,025 I'll see you all tomorrow. 642 00:35:58,068 --> 00:35:59,896 And remember your permission slips for the field trip. 643 00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:02,551 These permission slips are no joke, people, okay? 644 00:36:02,595 --> 00:36:04,205 If you can't find your parents, 645 00:36:04,249 --> 00:36:06,251 they're in their bedroom doing it. 646 00:36:06,294 --> 00:36:08,340 It's okay, I know, we still love them. 647 00:36:08,383 --> 00:36:10,211 Okay, yeah [laughing]. 648 00:36:10,255 --> 00:36:11,647 He totally wished he could. 649 00:36:11,691 --> 00:36:13,823 Totally. 650 00:36:13,867 --> 00:36:15,999 Hey, Stace, Jess. 651 00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:17,392 Hey. 652 00:36:33,452 --> 00:36:35,323 So, listen, Stace, um... 653 00:36:35,367 --> 00:36:37,412 Mike, can I talk to you for a second? 654 00:36:41,242 --> 00:36:42,504 Later? 655 00:36:42,548 --> 00:36:44,027 - Yes. - Awesome. 656 00:36:44,071 --> 00:36:45,072 Okay. 657 00:36:52,297 --> 00:36:53,950 So, Mike. 658 00:36:53,994 --> 00:36:55,996 How are things going with you and Stacy? 659 00:36:58,085 --> 00:37:01,393 Great, we're really good friends. We've been-- 660 00:37:01,436 --> 00:37:04,352 Hey, don't bullshit a bullshitter, bro. 661 00:37:04,396 --> 00:37:05,832 I know you're into Stacy. 662 00:37:05,875 --> 00:37:08,356 You wanna, uh, rap about it? 663 00:37:10,924 --> 00:37:13,013 Yeah, I mean, I like Stacy. 664 00:37:13,056 --> 00:37:14,319 - Mmm. - A lot. 665 00:37:14,362 --> 00:37:15,668 - Mmm. - I mean, what do I do? 666 00:37:15,711 --> 00:37:18,236 How do I tell her how I feel? 667 00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:20,063 Ah, that's a good question. 668 00:37:20,107 --> 00:37:21,239 You don't. 669 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:23,241 I don't? 670 00:37:23,284 --> 00:37:24,851 No you don't. 671 00:37:25,939 --> 00:37:28,942 You see, Mike, a girl like Stacy is, ooh, 672 00:37:28,985 --> 00:37:30,813 way out of your league. 673 00:37:30,857 --> 00:37:32,250 Way. 674 00:37:33,512 --> 00:37:35,122 What? What do you mean? 675 00:37:35,165 --> 00:37:37,124 I thought you were all about breaking the rules 676 00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:39,561 or there are no rules and that we're all equal. 677 00:37:39,605 --> 00:37:43,043 I am. Just not when it comes to you and Stacy. 678 00:37:43,086 --> 00:37:44,653 You see, Mike, 679 00:37:44,697 --> 00:37:47,743 a girl like Stacy, to get her, 680 00:37:47,787 --> 00:37:51,051 boy, you need like a truckload of cough syrup 681 00:37:51,094 --> 00:37:53,706 and a vat of malt liquor. 682 00:37:53,749 --> 00:37:55,838 Really mellow her out, you know what I mean? 683 00:37:55,882 --> 00:37:57,405 But not knock her out. 684 00:37:57,449 --> 00:37:59,712 That's a whole different class all together. 685 00:37:59,755 --> 00:38:02,105 - What? - Mike, you need to go after 686 00:38:02,149 --> 00:38:03,716 something more attainable. 687 00:38:03,759 --> 00:38:04,978 You need to find somebody 688 00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:07,937 who's a lot less prettier. 689 00:38:10,026 --> 00:38:12,420 You might have to go up a few weight classes. 690 00:38:12,464 --> 00:38:14,335 A little more than you're uncomfortable with, probably, 691 00:38:14,379 --> 00:38:17,207 a buck 50, two bills, I'm not sure. 692 00:38:17,251 --> 00:38:19,297 Somebody who hasn't seen the light of day 693 00:38:19,340 --> 00:38:20,907 in quite a long time. 694 00:38:20,950 --> 00:38:24,606 Acne, scars, fangs for teeth, bad hygiene, 695 00:38:24,650 --> 00:38:25,781 retarded if you will. 696 00:38:25,825 --> 00:38:27,522 What? Hey. 697 00:38:27,566 --> 00:38:30,569 Sometimes keeping it real hurts, little bro. 698 00:38:30,612 --> 00:38:32,266 But in the end, 699 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:33,615 we're all stronger people. 700 00:38:34,573 --> 00:38:37,010 Now go out there and get an ugly chick. 701 00:38:37,053 --> 00:38:38,228 Or a whore. 702 00:38:38,272 --> 00:38:39,708 Good luck. 703 00:38:39,752 --> 00:38:40,883 Good talk. 704 00:38:43,669 --> 00:38:46,498 Now a quick word from our sponsor. 705 00:38:48,804 --> 00:38:50,197 Tired of waking up 706 00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:52,330 with morning wood? 707 00:38:52,373 --> 00:38:55,507 Embarrassed by untimely hard-ons? 708 00:38:55,550 --> 00:38:59,511 Boners sprouting up at the most inopportune times? 709 00:38:59,554 --> 00:39:02,252 Well that's why we've invented Flaccitra. 710 00:39:03,428 --> 00:39:06,039 Flaccitra cuts off blood to your penis 711 00:39:06,082 --> 00:39:08,389 causing it to shrink like a frightened turtle. 712 00:39:09,390 --> 00:39:12,350 So for you teenagers suffering from SBS, 713 00:39:12,393 --> 00:39:14,221 Sudden Boner Syndrome, 714 00:39:14,264 --> 00:39:16,136 try Flaccitra today. 715 00:39:16,179 --> 00:39:18,530 Flaccitra may cause infertility, mood swings, 716 00:39:18,573 --> 00:39:21,184 loss of appetite, headache, butt acne, penis leprosy, 717 00:39:21,228 --> 00:39:23,186 scarlet fever, bloody ejaculations, 718 00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:24,797 and for a complete list of side effects, 719 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,494 go to flaccitra.com. 720 00:39:26,538 --> 00:39:27,756 Come on, guys. 721 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,018 Flaccitra. 722 00:39:39,289 --> 00:39:41,509 This is nice, baby, yeah. 723 00:39:50,518 --> 00:39:51,911 Lizzy, relax. 724 00:39:51,954 --> 00:39:53,303 Everybody farts. 725 00:39:53,347 --> 00:39:54,566 This is huge. 726 00:39:54,609 --> 00:39:56,785 We crossed the fart barrier. 727 00:39:57,917 --> 00:39:59,484 Really? 728 00:39:59,527 --> 00:40:00,572 Ah. 729 00:40:01,616 --> 00:40:03,705 See, it's nothing. 730 00:40:11,844 --> 00:40:13,585 I do feel comfortable with you. 731 00:41:12,687 --> 00:41:13,688 Damn! 732 00:41:13,732 --> 00:41:15,560 Now that's just nasty. 733 00:41:31,967 --> 00:41:33,926 When did you lose your virginity? 734 00:41:33,969 --> 00:41:38,321 Oh, I was like totally in 11th grade 735 00:41:38,365 --> 00:41:41,586 and I had sex with Carl Little 736 00:41:41,629 --> 00:41:45,938 in his parents' Winnebago. 737 00:41:47,809 --> 00:41:49,550 Wait, I thought I was your first. 738 00:41:50,464 --> 00:41:52,597 First one in December, maybe. 739 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,948 I'm a total whore! Woo! 740 00:41:57,253 --> 00:41:58,559 But I love you. 741 00:41:59,691 --> 00:42:04,609 And I love you, Carl Little. 742 00:42:05,174 --> 00:42:06,915 Brad! 743 00:42:06,959 --> 00:42:09,004 Brad Little. 744 00:42:09,048 --> 00:42:10,484 Brad Taylor! 745 00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:12,442 Whatever. 746 00:42:12,486 --> 00:42:15,707 The point is, sluts need love too. 747 00:42:16,708 --> 00:42:18,753 And a whole lot of dick, am I right? 748 00:42:18,797 --> 00:42:20,233 Woo! Ha ha! 749 00:42:27,632 --> 00:42:30,373 Oh, my God! [moaning] 750 00:42:30,417 --> 00:42:32,375 Hey, man, she was riding you like a pogo stick huh, 751 00:42:32,419 --> 00:42:33,725 up and down, up and down. 752 00:42:33,768 --> 00:42:35,988 Hold on, hold on, it gets better. 753 00:42:36,031 --> 00:42:37,555 - Wait for it. - I'm gonna cum! 754 00:42:37,598 --> 00:42:39,339 - I'm gonna cum! - Now. 755 00:42:41,820 --> 00:42:43,561 Oh, my God! 756 00:42:43,604 --> 00:42:45,171 Oooh! 757 00:42:45,214 --> 00:42:47,608 Let me introduce you to the screamer. 758 00:42:47,652 --> 00:42:49,828 Griffin, this chick is amazing. 759 00:42:49,871 --> 00:42:51,481 Which is why I invited her over here today. 760 00:42:51,525 --> 00:42:52,961 - Yes, sir. - And we're gonna be right here 761 00:42:53,005 --> 00:42:54,572 to make sure you go through with it. 762 00:42:54,615 --> 00:42:55,877 We got your little sister's baby monitor 763 00:42:55,921 --> 00:42:57,487 hooked up in your room. 764 00:42:57,531 --> 00:42:58,706 And we're gonna have the other end right here 765 00:42:58,750 --> 00:42:59,881 so we can listen in. 766 00:42:59,925 --> 00:43:01,753 No, not happening, guys. 767 00:43:01,796 --> 00:43:02,754 - Not happening? - No. 768 00:43:02,797 --> 00:43:04,103 - Yes. - No. 769 00:43:04,146 --> 00:43:05,495 - No. - That's what you think. 770 00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:08,629 Oh, too late. 771 00:43:08,673 --> 00:43:09,674 Go ahead. 772 00:43:13,286 --> 00:43:14,983 Hi, I'm Mike. 773 00:43:15,027 --> 00:43:16,028 Where's your room? 774 00:43:18,726 --> 00:43:22,600 ♪ Oh, my God, oh shit 775 00:43:22,643 --> 00:43:24,950 ♪ Oh, my God 776 00:43:24,993 --> 00:43:28,040 ♪ I can't believe this 777 00:43:28,083 --> 00:43:29,650 Come here. 778 00:43:29,694 --> 00:43:31,870 ♪ Oh, shit 779 00:43:33,001 --> 00:43:36,178 Whoa, you taking your shirt off immediately like that, 780 00:43:36,222 --> 00:43:38,093 it's kind of tough for me to say no. 781 00:43:38,137 --> 00:43:39,529 Ooh, you hear that, man? 782 00:43:39,573 --> 00:43:40,792 Her shirt just came off. It's on! 783 00:43:40,835 --> 00:43:43,621 Oh, it is on, all right. 784 00:43:43,664 --> 00:43:44,883 Put it in me. 785 00:43:46,711 --> 00:43:49,409 Why don't I just grab some earplugs real quick? 786 00:43:54,153 --> 00:43:56,024 Man oh, hell, no, man, is it broke? 787 00:44:00,420 --> 00:44:01,769 What are you waiting for? 788 00:44:02,727 --> 00:44:04,293 I'm sorry. 789 00:44:04,337 --> 00:44:06,121 I can't do this. 790 00:44:06,165 --> 00:44:07,557 What? 791 00:44:07,601 --> 00:44:09,168 There's this girl in my high school, 792 00:44:09,211 --> 00:44:10,735 and I really like her. 793 00:44:10,778 --> 00:44:11,910 Great. 794 00:44:11,953 --> 00:44:13,215 I didn't have a backup plan. 795 00:44:13,259 --> 00:44:15,435 Now I gotta go fuck a trucker 796 00:44:15,478 --> 00:44:18,307 or a cab driver or a homeless guy. 797 00:44:19,352 --> 00:44:20,875 Do you possibly think that 798 00:44:20,919 --> 00:44:22,137 maybe you could go through the back door? 799 00:44:22,181 --> 00:44:24,139 Just so you know, 800 00:44:24,183 --> 00:44:26,141 you're giving up a sure thing. 801 00:44:26,185 --> 00:44:28,578 Your friend said that you were desperate for it. 802 00:44:30,798 --> 00:44:32,147 Last chance. 803 00:44:38,980 --> 00:44:40,155 Man, all this settin' up we did, 804 00:44:40,199 --> 00:44:41,853 he better not be pussin' out. 805 00:44:41,896 --> 00:44:43,506 He's definitely pussing out. 806 00:44:43,550 --> 00:44:45,857 Let's go see what's going on with the dumbass. 807 00:44:45,900 --> 00:44:47,380 You like that, don't you? 808 00:44:47,423 --> 00:44:49,512 Ha-ha, we back in action. 809 00:44:49,556 --> 00:44:50,731 Yeah, Mike, [laughing] yes! 810 00:44:52,341 --> 00:44:53,778 Yeah, ha-ha! 811 00:44:53,821 --> 00:44:55,257 Oh man, you hear that? 812 00:44:56,824 --> 00:44:58,347 Yeah. 813 00:44:59,653 --> 00:45:01,307 Ride it, ride it! 814 00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:04,440 My boy's going strong to the hole, tell him. 815 00:45:04,484 --> 00:45:05,746 She's going nuts! 816 00:45:05,790 --> 00:45:07,617 She wasn't that crazy with me! 817 00:45:10,185 --> 00:45:12,100 Hi, have you guys seen my purse? 818 00:45:13,188 --> 00:45:15,364 ♪ Booty booty booty rocking 819 00:45:15,408 --> 00:45:16,670 ♪ Show stopping 820 00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:17,715 ♪ Everybody back popping 821 00:45:17,758 --> 00:45:19,107 Like that, don't you? 822 00:45:19,151 --> 00:45:20,108 ♪ Knees checking girls waking 823 00:45:20,152 --> 00:45:22,241 Shut up. 824 00:45:22,284 --> 00:45:26,593 Oh, Mike, you're so big! 825 00:45:26,636 --> 00:45:28,856 Oh, Mike, I've never been touched right there, like, 826 00:45:31,990 --> 00:45:33,948 I'm coming, Mike! I'm about to come! 827 00:45:39,127 --> 00:45:40,302 Get out! 828 00:45:40,346 --> 00:45:41,347 You're such a beast! 829 00:45:41,390 --> 00:45:42,783 I'm your big daddy. 830 00:45:42,827 --> 00:45:45,612 Oh don't call me Rick! 831 00:45:45,655 --> 00:45:46,961 Shh, shh. 832 00:45:48,615 --> 00:45:49,834 All right, home stretch. 833 00:45:49,877 --> 00:45:51,400 Oh, I like that. 834 00:45:51,444 --> 00:45:53,533 I like that, I like that. 835 00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:56,928 Oh, my God. 836 00:45:56,971 --> 00:45:59,017 I'm in love, Mike. 837 00:45:59,060 --> 00:46:00,453 I love you. 838 00:46:01,541 --> 00:46:03,195 I love you, Mike. 839 00:46:03,238 --> 00:46:04,500 ♪ Don't know you worth it 840 00:46:04,544 --> 00:46:05,850 ♪ Dust it off and jerk it 841 00:46:05,893 --> 00:46:07,025 ♪ Jerk it, jerk it 842 00:46:07,068 --> 00:46:08,678 So? 843 00:46:08,722 --> 00:46:13,292 Was it as good for you guys as it was for me? 844 00:46:13,335 --> 00:46:15,468 You know, I would tell you to go fuck yourself 845 00:46:15,511 --> 00:46:17,905 but it sounds like you just did. 846 00:46:21,213 --> 00:46:23,693 Now Suzie, I don't know how to tell you this 847 00:46:23,737 --> 00:46:25,826 so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. 848 00:46:25,870 --> 00:46:27,262 Say it. 849 00:46:27,306 --> 00:46:29,090 I've been sleeping with your mama. 850 00:46:30,526 --> 00:46:32,877 - Hank, come on. - What? 851 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,835 You know I made an abstinence pledge. 852 00:46:34,879 --> 00:46:36,489 I promised myself I'd wait 853 00:46:36,532 --> 00:46:38,578 until I was sure I was with the right guy. 854 00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:41,842 Well I thought I was the right guy. 855 00:46:41,886 --> 00:46:43,626 You might be. 856 00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:44,845 I'm just not sure yet. 857 00:46:46,107 --> 00:46:47,630 But I like you a lot. 858 00:46:59,555 --> 00:47:01,862 Hi, sexually frustrated teenager! 859 00:47:01,906 --> 00:47:03,690 I'm Bluebally! 860 00:47:03,733 --> 00:47:05,910 And if you and your girlfriend don't have sex soon, 861 00:47:05,953 --> 00:47:08,869 you're gonna wind up with a serious case of blue balls! 862 00:47:08,913 --> 00:47:12,960 That's right, your nuts are gonna turn blue. 863 00:47:13,004 --> 00:47:14,875 Ah, don't be afraid. 864 00:47:14,919 --> 00:47:16,877 I'm here to help. 865 00:47:16,921 --> 00:47:18,487 You've been stiff as a board 866 00:47:18,531 --> 00:47:20,533 for the last two hours! 867 00:47:20,576 --> 00:47:22,578 That means you're reaching a critical moment 868 00:47:22,622 --> 00:47:25,668 where that good tingly feeling down there 869 00:47:25,712 --> 00:47:29,759 can quickly turn into an achy not-so-good feeling. 870 00:47:29,803 --> 00:47:31,413 What do you mean? 871 00:47:32,588 --> 00:47:35,287 See, Hank, right now your testicles are filled with semen. 872 00:47:35,330 --> 00:47:37,811 And only a little bit's dripping out. 873 00:47:40,031 --> 00:47:42,947 What you wanna do is ejaculate, 874 00:47:42,990 --> 00:47:44,470 otherwise that backup of jizz 875 00:47:44,513 --> 00:47:46,254 will cause pressure in your nut sack 876 00:47:46,298 --> 00:47:48,082 to the point of making you nauseous. 877 00:47:48,126 --> 00:47:50,868 In fact, your genitals can increase in size 878 00:47:50,911 --> 00:47:53,218 25 to 50 percent! 879 00:47:53,261 --> 00:47:54,784 That's huge! 880 00:47:54,828 --> 00:47:57,222 - So what do I do? - From where I'm sitting, 881 00:47:57,265 --> 00:47:59,398 even if your girlfriend won't have intercourse with you, 882 00:47:59,441 --> 00:48:00,921 the least you should be able to do 883 00:48:00,965 --> 00:48:03,097 is score a hand job. 884 00:48:04,794 --> 00:48:05,795 Judy? 885 00:48:07,319 --> 00:48:10,931 I want you to know that I really do care about you 886 00:48:10,975 --> 00:48:12,237 and I've known that since the first time 887 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,108 I saw you in Bible study class. 888 00:48:15,849 --> 00:48:16,981 Uh-huh. 889 00:48:18,373 --> 00:48:19,374 Uh-huh. 890 00:48:20,636 --> 00:48:21,681 Uh-huh. 891 00:48:24,510 --> 00:48:26,947 Uh-oh, that's not good. 892 00:48:26,991 --> 00:48:28,209 What do you mean? 893 00:48:28,253 --> 00:48:29,428 With that kind of arousal, 894 00:48:29,471 --> 00:48:30,951 it's only a matter of seconds 895 00:48:30,995 --> 00:48:34,433 before full on irreversible blue balls! 896 00:48:34,476 --> 00:48:37,436 You better go to the bathroom and jerk off right now. 897 00:48:37,479 --> 00:48:39,177 - Here? - Yes, go, go, 898 00:48:39,220 --> 00:48:40,961 There's no time to waste! Go, get going. 899 00:48:41,005 --> 00:48:43,050 It's a medical emergency! 900 00:48:48,099 --> 00:48:51,493 Oh yeah, you won't see this on children's television. 901 00:48:51,537 --> 00:48:52,538 Bluebally! 902 00:48:53,756 --> 00:48:55,193 I'll be one second! 903 00:48:55,236 --> 00:48:56,368 Ha-ha! 904 00:48:58,413 --> 00:48:59,937 Oh, yeah! 905 00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:01,373 Oh, yeah! 906 00:49:02,504 --> 00:49:03,505 Man, I'm never gonna get laid. 907 00:49:03,549 --> 00:49:04,680 I'm such a loser. 908 00:49:04,724 --> 00:49:05,943 No you're not. 909 00:49:05,986 --> 00:49:07,727 And I met a girl in a chatroom. 910 00:49:07,770 --> 00:49:09,642 - Did you? - Yeah. 911 00:49:09,685 --> 00:49:11,383 I mean I met here in Teenlonelyboys. 912 00:49:11,426 --> 00:49:13,559 'Cause I figured I'm a teen and I'm lonely. 913 00:49:15,213 --> 00:49:17,128 Anyways, it surprised me there's not a lot of girls 914 00:49:17,171 --> 00:49:18,956 in that chatroom. 915 00:49:18,999 --> 00:49:21,480 It's mostly older guys interested in photography. 916 00:49:21,523 --> 00:49:23,221 See, that's kind of creepy, though. 917 00:49:23,264 --> 00:49:26,137 It is at first, but, you know 918 00:49:26,180 --> 00:49:28,008 once I made it clear that I was a teen boy 919 00:49:28,052 --> 00:49:29,749 in the market for a teen girl, 920 00:49:29,792 --> 00:49:31,925 ladies were just coming out of the woodworks. 921 00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:33,187 And now I have a girlfriend. 922 00:49:33,231 --> 00:49:34,536 Her name is Randy. 923 00:49:34,580 --> 00:49:36,451 Isn't that a guy's name? 924 00:49:36,495 --> 00:49:37,539 It's both. 925 00:49:38,627 --> 00:49:40,803 I mean she said she gets it all the time. 926 00:49:40,847 --> 00:49:42,240 She send you a picture? 927 00:49:42,283 --> 00:49:43,763 No. 928 00:49:43,806 --> 00:49:45,678 But I send her tons of mine. 929 00:49:45,721 --> 00:49:47,288 Most of them are naked. 930 00:49:47,332 --> 00:49:49,290 It's awesome. 931 00:49:49,334 --> 00:49:51,118 Maybe I'll give it a try. 932 00:49:51,162 --> 00:49:52,728 Maybe if you're lucky someday, 933 00:49:52,772 --> 00:49:55,949 you'll have a Randy just like me. 934 00:50:06,220 --> 00:50:07,830 SweetyPi? 935 00:50:07,874 --> 00:50:09,006 Accept. 936 00:50:11,617 --> 00:50:12,618 Hi. 937 00:50:14,837 --> 00:50:16,143 Hi. 938 00:50:17,405 --> 00:50:18,493 Sex chat? 939 00:50:20,365 --> 00:50:22,410 Sure. 940 00:50:22,454 --> 00:50:24,499 Okay, I'm dressed in a tight mini dress 941 00:50:24,543 --> 00:50:26,458 walking down a dark alley. 942 00:50:26,501 --> 00:50:29,026 I'm completely alone and vulnerable. 943 00:50:29,069 --> 00:50:30,897 Then you appear out of the shadows. 944 00:50:30,940 --> 00:50:33,421 You wear all black with a ski mask over your head. 945 00:50:34,596 --> 00:50:36,816 You approach me menacingly and say, 946 00:50:40,124 --> 00:50:41,690 Hey, what's up? 947 00:50:44,911 --> 00:50:46,043 Was that wrong? 948 00:50:46,086 --> 00:50:47,435 Menacing. 949 00:50:47,479 --> 00:50:48,523 Okay. 950 00:50:49,524 --> 00:50:51,570 What are you doing in my alley? 951 00:50:51,613 --> 00:50:53,789 Oh no, you stay away from me. 952 00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:57,315 I'm lost, alone, and half naked. 953 00:50:57,358 --> 00:50:58,881 But I have mace. 954 00:50:58,925 --> 00:51:00,535 Don't try and take advantage of me. 955 00:51:01,536 --> 00:51:03,408 Okay, sorry, no problem. 956 00:51:03,451 --> 00:51:04,496 Do you need cab money? 957 00:51:05,540 --> 00:51:07,760 Be aggressive. I want it. 958 00:51:09,979 --> 00:51:12,547 Oh. Weird. 959 00:51:12,591 --> 00:51:14,636 I'm afraid I don't care about mace. 960 00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,639 Prepare to be attacked, sexually. 961 00:51:19,337 --> 00:51:21,382 That was amazing. 962 00:51:21,426 --> 00:51:23,167 We should meet. 963 00:51:23,210 --> 00:51:25,386 Come to 429 Covington Avenue, apartment 8 964 00:51:25,430 --> 00:51:26,996 tomorrow night at 10. 965 00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:28,128 Wear a mask. 966 00:51:28,172 --> 00:51:30,130 Take me against my will. 967 00:51:30,174 --> 00:51:31,740 Don't break character. 968 00:51:38,182 --> 00:51:40,271 - Oh, hello, dear. - Oh, hey, Jane. 969 00:51:40,314 --> 00:51:41,968 Doing anything special tonight? 970 00:51:42,011 --> 00:51:45,798 Nope, just baking cookies for my niece. 971 00:51:45,841 --> 00:51:46,842 Oh. 972 00:52:19,005 --> 00:52:20,006 Just a second! 973 00:52:24,967 --> 00:52:26,578 Did somebody order the rape? 974 00:52:27,492 --> 00:52:30,756 Oh God! 975 00:52:30,799 --> 00:52:32,453 So far so good. 976 00:52:32,497 --> 00:52:34,368 You can run, but you can't hide 977 00:52:34,412 --> 00:52:37,110 from forced sexual intercourse, 978 00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:38,546 you know what I mean? 979 00:52:38,590 --> 00:52:39,504 Ma'am? 980 00:52:40,809 --> 00:52:42,594 Get out! 981 00:52:42,637 --> 00:52:44,117 Gosh, well, yo! 982 00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:46,119 Be careful, you're gonna hurt me. 983 00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:47,729 I mean, you won't be so feisty 984 00:52:47,773 --> 00:52:50,210 when I'm violating you sexually. 985 00:52:50,254 --> 00:52:51,429 Get out! 986 00:52:58,523 --> 00:52:59,785 What are you? 987 00:53:01,090 --> 00:53:03,223 That won't stop me. 988 00:53:10,274 --> 00:53:11,753 No, you don't. 989 00:53:11,797 --> 00:53:14,495 Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I'll pay for this. 990 00:53:14,539 --> 00:53:16,193 You stay back, I'm warning you. 991 00:53:16,236 --> 00:53:17,977 I'm scared, yeah, yeah. 992 00:53:18,020 --> 00:53:21,850 I'm scared and-- Oh, my God! 993 00:53:26,638 --> 00:53:28,509 Hang on a second! 994 00:53:28,553 --> 00:53:30,250 Wait, wait a sec! 995 00:53:32,687 --> 00:53:33,775 Oh God! 996 00:53:33,819 --> 00:53:35,255 Oh it's burning! 997 00:53:41,827 --> 00:53:43,220 Did somebody order the rape? 998 00:53:54,709 --> 00:53:56,798 - Fred? - Oh, hey, Betty. 999 00:53:56,842 --> 00:53:58,235 - Hey. - How's it going? 1000 00:53:58,278 --> 00:53:59,801 What's wrong? 1001 00:53:59,845 --> 00:54:01,716 Oh, it's just been kind of a crazy week. 1002 00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:04,110 It's a long story. 1003 00:54:04,153 --> 00:54:05,851 You know, Fred, I've been thinking. 1004 00:54:05,894 --> 00:54:07,940 We've been friends for a really long time. 1005 00:54:07,983 --> 00:54:09,071 Yeah, yeah we have. 1006 00:54:10,072 --> 00:54:12,292 Maybe it's time we take things to the next level. 1007 00:54:12,336 --> 00:54:13,728 Next level? 1008 00:54:15,382 --> 00:54:16,731 Wow. 1009 00:54:22,563 --> 00:54:24,739 Next level! 1010 00:54:24,783 --> 00:54:27,046 Hey baby, this is for you. 1011 00:54:27,089 --> 00:54:29,701 I love you, you're the only one for me. 1012 00:54:29,744 --> 00:54:31,180 I hope you enjoy. 1013 00:54:49,373 --> 00:54:51,070 Hey, Pat, 1014 00:54:51,113 --> 00:54:53,290 can I borrow a spurt of your herpes cream? 1015 00:54:53,333 --> 00:54:56,684 Yeah, sure, I'll bring it over in a minute. 1016 00:55:04,518 --> 00:55:05,563 Oh, oh! 1017 00:55:21,056 --> 00:55:23,363 I'm not in, leave a message. 1018 00:55:23,407 --> 00:55:24,625 Hey, girl, it's Billy Shawn 1019 00:55:24,669 --> 00:55:25,887 from the basketball team. 1020 00:55:25,931 --> 00:55:27,628 Thanks for rocking my world. 1021 00:55:27,672 --> 00:55:31,328 Talk about taking it to the hole, peace! 1022 00:55:31,371 --> 00:55:32,938 Sorry about that. 1023 00:55:37,508 --> 00:55:40,511 Oh, shit! 1024 00:55:40,554 --> 00:55:41,555 Nice titties! 1025 00:55:48,997 --> 00:55:54,002 Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp! 1026 00:56:18,026 --> 00:56:19,941 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it, 1027 00:56:19,985 --> 00:56:21,595 I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. 1028 00:56:21,639 --> 00:56:25,773 I'm there, I'm there, I'm there, I'm there! 1029 00:56:31,953 --> 00:56:36,044 ♪ Put the south in your mouth pretty baby ♪ 1030 00:56:36,088 --> 00:56:38,264 I wanna kiss your mouth. 1031 00:56:39,657 --> 00:56:42,834 Mmm, taste like blueberry. 1032 00:56:42,877 --> 00:56:44,357 So good. 1033 00:56:48,492 --> 00:56:49,667 Oh, God. 1034 00:56:57,588 --> 00:57:00,286 Hi. 1035 00:57:00,329 --> 00:57:01,461 Hi. 1036 00:57:05,465 --> 00:57:07,336 You look like you just saw a ghost. 1037 00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,518 I had a really bad dream. 1038 00:57:16,302 --> 00:57:17,390 Oh, sweetie. 1039 00:57:18,435 --> 00:57:20,088 It's okay. 1040 00:57:20,132 --> 00:57:21,263 I'm here. 1041 00:57:28,314 --> 00:57:31,970 I had an amazing time last night. 1042 00:57:32,013 --> 00:57:34,276 Oh. 1043 00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:37,279 I'm sorry. Do you have a toilet? 1044 00:57:37,323 --> 00:57:39,325 Oh, yeah, it's right over there. 1045 00:57:46,724 --> 00:57:49,422 Mmm, what a night. 1046 00:57:52,599 --> 00:57:53,731 Hello. 1047 00:57:53,774 --> 00:57:55,907 Aah! 1048 00:57:55,950 --> 00:57:57,691 Who the hell are you? 1049 00:57:58,692 --> 00:58:00,868 Why don't you ask your dick? 1050 00:58:00,912 --> 00:58:02,653 What is going on here? 1051 00:58:02,696 --> 00:58:04,306 Relax, Len. 1052 00:58:06,787 --> 00:58:08,572 Oh, look what the cat dragged in. 1053 00:58:08,615 --> 00:58:09,921 Do you have any matches? 1054 00:58:09,964 --> 00:58:12,097 Fat diarrhea, ugh. 1055 00:58:12,140 --> 00:58:13,794 I'll air that out, all right? 1056 00:58:13,838 --> 00:58:16,797 What I need right now is for you to leave my house. 1057 00:58:16,841 --> 00:58:18,146 My parents are coming home this afternoon 1058 00:58:18,190 --> 00:58:19,800 and I need to start cleaning up. 1059 00:58:19,844 --> 00:58:21,541 Those weren't your parents we met last night? 1060 00:58:21,585 --> 00:58:23,761 My parents are in Cancun. 1061 00:58:23,804 --> 00:58:26,720 Yeah, yeah, right. 1062 00:58:27,765 --> 00:58:30,202 If you say your parents aren't here, 1063 00:58:30,245 --> 00:58:32,247 then we'll just believe that your parents weren't here. 1064 00:58:32,291 --> 00:58:34,423 Maybe it was your aunt and uncle. 1065 00:58:34,467 --> 00:58:38,515 I don't care, I came here to fuck and get fucked. 1066 00:58:38,558 --> 00:58:41,605 And you know, I got fucked last night, fucked good. 1067 00:58:41,648 --> 00:58:43,389 Okay, very funny. 1068 00:58:44,477 --> 00:58:46,174 The joke's over. This has been a delightful little prank 1069 00:58:46,218 --> 00:58:47,785 that you guys have played on me 1070 00:58:47,828 --> 00:58:50,004 but now it's time for you to respect my wishes 1071 00:58:50,048 --> 00:58:53,312 and please, get the hell out of my house. 1072 00:58:53,355 --> 00:58:56,750 Pff, yeah, you're right. 1073 00:58:56,794 --> 00:58:58,622 The whole thing was a prank. 1074 00:58:58,665 --> 00:59:00,841 After we invited you for a threesome, 1075 00:59:00,885 --> 00:59:03,061 I got blueberry yogurt and I smeared it 1076 00:59:03,104 --> 00:59:05,977 all over my face and your balls. 1077 00:59:06,804 --> 00:59:09,110 Pooh, yeah, all a joke. 1078 00:59:10,155 --> 00:59:12,897 Please, just get the hell out. 1079 00:59:14,638 --> 00:59:15,595 Fine. 1080 00:59:15,639 --> 00:59:16,596 Whatever. 1081 00:59:17,902 --> 00:59:19,251 Please, just leave. 1082 00:59:21,296 --> 00:59:22,515 Ooh, so kind. 1083 00:59:34,005 --> 00:59:36,834 Oh, if you say your parents aren't here 1084 00:59:36,877 --> 00:59:38,792 then we'll just believe that your parents aren't here. 1085 00:59:38,836 --> 00:59:40,620 Maybe it was your aunt and uncle. 1086 00:59:40,664 --> 00:59:41,926 Mm-hmm. 1087 00:59:48,193 --> 00:59:49,411 Oh. 1088 00:59:50,412 --> 00:59:51,588 Thank God. 1089 01:00:04,644 --> 01:00:06,994 Oh, please, God, don't let them be home. 1090 01:00:07,038 --> 01:00:09,823 I swear I'll never drink again, 1091 01:00:09,867 --> 01:00:11,782 just don't let them be here. 1092 01:00:18,527 --> 01:00:20,225 Hello. 1093 01:00:20,268 --> 01:00:22,923 So you guys are home early. 1094 01:00:25,752 --> 01:00:27,885 Did you just get in? 1095 01:00:31,584 --> 01:00:33,020 How was your second honeymoon? 1096 01:00:35,196 --> 01:00:37,546 No! 1097 01:00:37,590 --> 01:00:40,680 Oh, God, no! 1098 01:00:40,724 --> 01:00:42,377 Get the hell out of our sight. 1099 01:00:47,339 --> 01:00:48,383 Okay. 1100 01:00:49,341 --> 01:00:50,516 Look at you! 1101 01:00:51,343 --> 01:00:53,040 Look at you! 1102 01:01:01,832 --> 01:01:03,094 Len, can we talk? 1103 01:01:05,531 --> 01:01:06,837 Just a minute. 1104 01:01:11,755 --> 01:01:13,321 What, have you been doing 1105 01:01:13,365 --> 01:01:14,845 a little spackling work on the ceiling? 1106 01:01:14,888 --> 01:01:16,934 Oh God, Dad, no, it's not, 1107 01:01:16,977 --> 01:01:19,023 Your mother and I are disgusted with you, Len. 1108 01:01:19,066 --> 01:01:20,372 Well. 1109 01:01:20,415 --> 01:01:21,982 Look at her. 1110 01:01:22,026 --> 01:01:23,201 You don't understand. 1111 01:01:23,244 --> 01:01:25,203 Son, I have one question for you 1112 01:01:25,246 --> 01:01:26,770 and I'm only gonna ask it once. 1113 01:01:28,510 --> 01:01:29,990 Have you been sneaking behind our backs 1114 01:01:30,034 --> 01:01:31,731 and being on a hidden camera show? 1115 01:01:32,906 --> 01:01:33,820 What? 1116 01:01:33,864 --> 01:01:35,387 Look over there. 1117 01:01:37,084 --> 01:01:38,172 No. 1118 01:01:38,216 --> 01:01:39,913 No, no, no, no you didn't! 1119 01:01:42,220 --> 01:01:44,004 They were in there the whole time? 1120 01:01:45,310 --> 01:01:46,920 Gotcha! 1121 01:01:46,964 --> 01:01:48,095 No! 1122 01:01:48,139 --> 01:01:49,227 Hey, buddy! 1123 01:01:50,794 --> 01:01:52,230 Look at his face! 1124 01:01:52,273 --> 01:01:53,840 How could you do this to me? 1125 01:01:53,884 --> 01:01:55,363 Wait, who am I? 1126 01:02:00,151 --> 01:02:05,286 We roofied you, honey. 1127 01:02:05,330 --> 01:02:06,984 Wait, wait, wait. 1128 01:02:07,027 --> 01:02:08,637 So I didn't fuck you and you didn't fuck me? 1129 01:02:08,681 --> 01:02:10,335 Well, I fucked you a little 1130 01:02:10,378 --> 01:02:13,294 but it wasn't all faggy, I mean come on. 1131 01:02:20,693 --> 01:02:21,955 Tight sphincter. 1132 01:02:28,788 --> 01:02:30,485 So, who's the best lover 1133 01:02:30,529 --> 01:02:32,096 you guys have ever been with? 1134 01:02:32,139 --> 01:02:34,315 Definitely my boyfriend Ted, he's amazing. 1135 01:02:35,186 --> 01:02:36,796 How about the rest of you? 1136 01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:38,363 I have to say, 1137 01:02:39,494 --> 01:02:41,975 her boyfriend Ted also, yeah. 1138 01:02:42,019 --> 01:02:43,847 When did you sleep with Ted? 1139 01:02:43,890 --> 01:02:46,153 Yeah, I'd have to say Ted for me too. 1140 01:02:47,111 --> 01:02:48,242 I'd say it's when Charlotte and I 1141 01:02:48,286 --> 01:02:49,940 both slept with Ted. 1142 01:02:49,983 --> 01:02:51,768 Yeah, that was a great night. 1143 01:02:52,681 --> 01:02:53,726 I'd say Ted too. 1144 01:03:02,126 --> 01:03:03,344 Fellas, 1145 01:03:03,388 --> 01:03:04,998 personal advice from me to you, 1146 01:03:05,042 --> 01:03:06,870 get in there and shave that shit up. 1147 01:03:06,913 --> 01:03:08,523 Visually, it'll give yourself 1148 01:03:08,567 --> 01:03:09,829 an extra two or three inches. 1149 01:03:09,873 --> 01:03:11,744 Alcohol and sex 1150 01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:13,137 don't mix. 1151 01:03:13,180 --> 01:03:16,053 Cocaine and sex-- 1152 01:03:16,096 --> 01:03:18,316 If you don't have a rubber, don't panic. 1153 01:03:18,359 --> 01:03:20,318 Whatever you do, watch this, right? 1154 01:03:20,361 --> 01:03:21,406 Hold on a sec, babe, 1155 01:03:21,449 --> 01:03:23,582 let me grab my jimmy hat. 1156 01:03:25,889 --> 01:03:28,239 And then pantomime. 1157 01:03:28,282 --> 01:03:32,025 Oh, it's so small, the rubber. 1158 01:03:33,897 --> 01:03:36,813 And then you lock and load. 1159 01:03:36,856 --> 01:03:38,292 She'll never know. 1160 01:03:42,253 --> 01:03:43,341 Oh, what died? 1161 01:03:45,256 --> 01:03:47,171 You gotta stop being so comfortable! 1162 01:03:51,566 --> 01:03:53,786 Hey, pretty sweet field trip huh? 1163 01:03:53,830 --> 01:03:55,570 Yeah, it was cool. 1164 01:03:55,614 --> 01:03:58,225 So Stacy, I wanted to ask you something. 1165 01:03:58,269 --> 01:04:01,185 Hey man, I'ma catch you inside, all right? 1166 01:04:01,228 --> 01:04:03,230 So what'd you wanna tell me? 1167 01:04:03,274 --> 01:04:04,275 You know what, it can wait. 1168 01:04:04,318 --> 01:04:05,363 Hey, man. 1169 01:04:05,406 --> 01:04:07,104 Fake any orgasms lately? 1170 01:04:07,147 --> 01:04:08,105 Fuck off. 1171 01:04:08,148 --> 01:04:09,149 What? 1172 01:04:11,108 --> 01:04:12,065 Ew. 1173 01:04:12,109 --> 01:04:13,414 Are you okay? 1174 01:04:14,676 --> 01:04:15,895 Yeah. 1175 01:04:15,939 --> 01:04:17,157 Why is that guy so tall? 1176 01:04:18,593 --> 01:04:20,639 Great. Yeah, yeah, I should be okay. 1177 01:04:21,814 --> 01:04:22,902 I should probably go clean up before we eat. 1178 01:04:22,946 --> 01:04:24,512 I'll see you inside? 1179 01:04:24,556 --> 01:04:26,079 Okay. 1180 01:04:32,694 --> 01:04:33,870 Sorry. 1181 01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:50,930 Guys! 1182 01:04:50,974 --> 01:04:53,367 Guys, can someone help me get off the bus? 1183 01:04:54,455 --> 01:04:55,587 Hello? 1184 01:04:57,545 --> 01:04:58,720 Hello? 1185 01:04:58,764 --> 01:05:00,548 Ah, there you are. 1186 01:05:00,592 --> 01:05:02,333 Everybody's waiting for you. 1187 01:05:02,376 --> 01:05:03,377 Come on. 1188 01:05:21,004 --> 01:05:22,527 Licking, licking. 1189 01:05:23,832 --> 01:05:25,356 Suck suck suck. 1190 01:05:25,399 --> 01:05:28,576 Oh, yeah! 1191 01:05:30,013 --> 01:05:31,666 ♪ Shakes in all of Miami 1192 01:05:31,710 --> 01:05:33,581 ♪ Tits, keep 'em shaking 1193 01:05:33,625 --> 01:05:35,279 ♪ Them things are moneymaking 1194 01:05:35,322 --> 01:05:37,281 ♪ Tits, so juicy juicy 1195 01:05:37,324 --> 01:05:38,978 ♪ Share your soul to me 1196 01:05:39,022 --> 01:05:40,893 Ooh, yeah! 1197 01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:42,982 That's it, ladies. 1198 01:05:43,026 --> 01:05:44,636 Cut! 1199 01:05:44,679 --> 01:05:45,898 Great job, girls. 1200 01:05:45,942 --> 01:05:48,292 Nancy, nice licking. 1201 01:05:48,335 --> 01:05:49,815 Very good sucking too. 1202 01:05:50,859 --> 01:05:51,991 Okay, he's here. 1203 01:05:52,949 --> 01:05:55,342 It's about time. Listen, I know it's your first day, 1204 01:05:55,386 --> 01:05:57,736 but we got some stuff to shoot, all right? 1205 01:05:57,779 --> 01:05:59,042 Now listen. 1206 01:05:59,085 --> 01:06:01,174 The way I view this film, 1207 01:06:01,218 --> 01:06:04,438 it's a spiritual successor to Rebel Without A Cause. 1208 01:06:04,482 --> 01:06:08,616 Only with a lot more fucking. 1209 01:06:08,660 --> 01:06:11,315 Right. Um, you guys, I think there's been a small-- 1210 01:06:11,358 --> 01:06:13,534 I'm really looking forward to working with you. 1211 01:06:14,579 --> 01:06:16,320 Jackie and I are especially curious 1212 01:06:16,363 --> 01:06:18,278 how you get the name Gigando-cock. 1213 01:06:18,322 --> 01:06:21,064 Oh, I can't wait to wrap my hands 1214 01:06:21,107 --> 01:06:23,980 around the biggest penis in the biz. 1215 01:06:24,023 --> 01:06:26,895 Penis? I haven't heard that word for a long time. 1216 01:06:26,939 --> 01:06:28,419 I usually just call it dinner. 1217 01:06:29,420 --> 01:06:31,204 Okay, everybody on set! 1218 01:06:33,772 --> 01:06:35,078 I told you they wouldn't have any beer. 1219 01:06:35,121 --> 01:06:36,818 Oh man, how was I supposed to know? 1220 01:06:36,862 --> 01:06:39,952 Oh man, sweet car. 1221 01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:42,781 You just helped these girls fix their car. 1222 01:06:42,824 --> 01:06:45,610 And so to repay you, you get to bang 'em. 1223 01:06:45,653 --> 01:06:48,569 Now Nancy right here, she's gonna start by blowing you. 1224 01:06:48,613 --> 01:06:51,094 Then you're gonna do some backdoor stuff with Jackie. 1225 01:06:51,137 --> 01:06:52,965 Bro, check this out. 1226 01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:56,229 After that, just feel free to improvise. 1227 01:06:56,273 --> 01:06:57,317 All right. 1228 01:07:00,103 --> 01:07:01,669 Hey, you gonna need a fluffer? 1229 01:07:04,716 --> 01:07:06,152 All righty. 1230 01:07:06,196 --> 01:07:07,588 Let's see that giganto cock. 1231 01:07:09,199 --> 01:07:11,897 And, action! 1232 01:07:12,898 --> 01:07:15,335 Thank you so much for fixing our car. 1233 01:07:16,293 --> 01:07:18,164 How can we ever repay you? 1234 01:07:32,135 --> 01:07:33,179 What? 1235 01:07:36,008 --> 01:07:36,965 Cut! 1236 01:07:37,009 --> 01:07:38,837 Hey, sorry I'm late. 1237 01:07:39,664 --> 01:07:40,839 I'm Gigando-cock. 1238 01:07:44,277 --> 01:07:45,322 Damn. 1239 01:07:52,155 --> 01:07:55,810 ♪ Yeah I'm not Gigando-cock 1240 01:07:55,854 --> 01:08:00,293 ♪ I'm just a small town hick 1241 01:08:00,337 --> 01:08:03,905 ♪ An 18-year-old virgin 1242 01:08:03,949 --> 01:08:08,693 ♪ With a super tiny dick 1243 01:08:08,736 --> 01:08:12,479 ♪ Kid I've seen this once before ♪ 1244 01:08:12,523 --> 01:08:17,093 ♪ A boy who wished he was Ang Lee ♪ 1245 01:08:17,136 --> 01:08:20,792 ♪ Found he couldn't frame a shot ♪ 1246 01:08:20,835 --> 01:08:25,840 ♪ That's right, that little boy was me ♪ 1247 01:08:26,624 --> 01:08:29,844 ♪ It wasn't my first choice ♪ 1248 01:08:29,888 --> 01:08:32,064 My parents think I'm in college. 1249 01:08:33,979 --> 01:08:37,374 ♪ Thought I'd be doing theater 1250 01:08:37,417 --> 01:08:40,594 ♪ On Broadway 1251 01:08:40,638 --> 01:08:43,815 ♪ We're just accidentally incidentally ♪ 1252 01:08:43,858 --> 01:08:46,122 ♪ Unintentionally making porn 1253 01:08:46,165 --> 01:08:49,995 ♪ Accidentally incidentally unintentionally ♪ 1254 01:08:50,038 --> 01:08:51,214 ♪ Making porn 1255 01:08:51,257 --> 01:08:52,737 ♪ Not me, I do it 1256 01:08:52,780 --> 01:08:56,088 ♪ 'Cause I fucking like it 1257 01:08:56,871 --> 01:09:01,224 ♪ Girl on girl pays 50 bucks ♪ 1258 01:09:01,267 --> 01:09:05,402 ♪ I get double for backdoor fucks ♪ 1259 01:09:05,445 --> 01:09:09,754 ♪ How I got here I'll never know ♪ 1260 01:09:09,797 --> 01:09:13,540 ♪ Beats Mexico and that donkey show ♪ 1261 01:09:13,584 --> 01:09:15,673 ♪ All these tits got me in the mood ♪ 1262 01:09:15,716 --> 01:09:18,154 ♪ We're the ones that should be getting screwed ♪ 1263 01:09:18,197 --> 01:09:21,809 ♪ Let us be your man whores 1264 01:09:21,853 --> 01:09:26,858 ♪ Will someone show these assholes the door ♪ 1265 01:09:28,555 --> 01:09:33,386 ♪ I've found my home here on this porn set ♪ 1266 01:09:34,518 --> 01:09:36,694 Better hurry up or I won't stay wet 1267 01:09:57,193 --> 01:09:58,542 Fuck yeah! 1268 01:10:04,852 --> 01:10:08,552 Wow. Thanks for being so cool about everything. 1269 01:10:08,595 --> 01:10:10,162 I feel like I should tell you though. 1270 01:10:10,206 --> 01:10:12,860 I don't really think this is the life for me. 1271 01:10:12,904 --> 01:10:13,992 You got balls, kid. 1272 01:10:15,341 --> 01:10:16,734 Very large balls. 1273 01:10:17,822 --> 01:10:20,477 You show that kind of confidence in real life, 1274 01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:23,001 you're gonna be fine, just fine. 1275 01:10:24,742 --> 01:10:26,352 All right, let's reset. 1276 01:10:26,396 --> 01:10:27,832 Back to one! 1277 01:10:38,451 --> 01:10:40,366 Dude, what happened in there after we left? 1278 01:10:40,410 --> 01:10:42,238 Feel good to do any of those chicks? 1279 01:10:50,942 --> 01:10:53,423 Yeah, Mike, that's what I'm talking about! 1280 01:10:53,466 --> 01:10:54,467 Dude, yes! 1281 01:11:00,343 --> 01:11:01,474 Whoa. 1282 01:11:03,476 --> 01:11:04,651 Look, Stacy. 1283 01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:07,959 I'm not sexually experienced 1284 01:11:08,002 --> 01:11:11,267 and I'm not some famous porn star named Gigundo-cock. 1285 01:11:12,790 --> 01:11:14,313 Look, I'm just some regular kid 1286 01:11:14,357 --> 01:11:16,097 who just wants to ask out a very, 1287 01:11:17,490 --> 01:11:18,709 very beautiful girl. 1288 01:11:21,581 --> 01:11:22,800 Don't call past 10. 1289 01:11:23,931 --> 01:11:28,893 My dad'll kill me. 1290 01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:31,852 Screw her for me, dude! 1291 01:11:31,896 --> 01:11:33,245 Yes! 1292 01:11:42,167 --> 01:11:44,430 Fellas, you gotta be respectful of your ladies. 1293 01:11:44,474 --> 01:11:46,084 Whatever you do, don't go around your boys 1294 01:11:46,127 --> 01:11:48,913 telling them all the gruesome details. 1295 01:11:48,956 --> 01:11:51,350 But me on the other hand, I'm married with two kids. 1296 01:11:51,394 --> 01:11:53,134 I like all dirty stuff. 1297 01:11:53,178 --> 01:11:56,355 This website will go directly to me and only me. 1298 01:11:56,399 --> 01:12:00,664 Send me all pictures, streaming videos, letters. 1299 01:12:00,707 --> 01:12:03,057 As bizarre as you want, I'll read them all 1300 01:12:03,101 --> 01:12:04,320 and masturbate all night. 1301 01:12:04,363 --> 01:12:06,626 Thank you, I'm Matthew Lillard. 1302 01:12:14,460 --> 01:12:16,027 ♪ She got that kind of booty 1303 01:12:16,070 --> 01:12:17,942 ♪ Hit em up, come in and do me 1304 01:12:17,985 --> 01:12:19,639 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1305 01:12:19,683 --> 01:12:21,467 ♪ Just the type that'll drive you loony ♪ 1306 01:12:21,511 --> 01:12:23,164 ♪ She got that kind of booty 1307 01:12:23,208 --> 01:12:24,992 ♪ Pack it up and bring it to me ♪ 1308 01:12:25,036 --> 01:12:26,820 ♪ Smack it up let's make a movie ♪ 1309 01:12:26,864 --> 01:12:28,387 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1310 01:12:28,431 --> 01:12:30,824 Ladies, you do not, I repeat, 1311 01:12:30,868 --> 01:12:34,219 you do not need to have sex with a guy for him to like you. 1312 01:12:35,699 --> 01:12:36,743 But it definitely helps, 1313 01:12:36,787 --> 01:12:39,311 and if that's too much, 1314 01:12:39,355 --> 01:12:41,008 a blowjob works every time. 1315 01:12:43,010 --> 01:12:45,273 Fuck, I have two daughters, this is terrible. 1316 01:12:46,405 --> 01:12:47,406 Okay, ready? 1317 01:12:48,973 --> 01:12:50,409 All right. 1318 01:12:50,453 --> 01:12:52,542 Let's see that fire hose! 1319 01:12:56,110 --> 01:12:57,198 Oh yeah! 1320 01:12:57,895 --> 01:12:59,070 Oh yeah! 1321 01:12:59,113 --> 01:13:01,202 - Cut. - Thank you. 1322 01:13:01,246 --> 01:13:02,726 All right. 1323 01:13:02,769 --> 01:13:04,118 Let's see that cock! 1324 01:13:05,642 --> 01:13:07,470 Sorry. Do I interact with Blue Bally 1325 01:13:07,513 --> 01:13:08,819 or am I just kinda-- 1326 01:13:08,862 --> 01:13:10,168 Let me see 1327 01:13:10,211 --> 01:13:12,083 that long schlong wrinkle stick. 1328 01:13:12,126 --> 01:13:13,432 Oh, Ronny. 1329 01:13:14,346 --> 01:13:15,434 Oh. 1330 01:13:15,478 --> 01:13:16,435 On it. 1331 01:13:21,527 --> 01:13:23,529 You've got balls, kid. 1332 01:13:23,573 --> 01:13:27,315 Big, large, oversized brass balls. 1333 01:13:27,359 --> 01:13:28,839 Who wants to fuck? 1334 01:13:33,147 --> 01:13:34,932 No? 1335 01:13:34,975 --> 01:13:36,586 Sex is not just a physical commitment. 1336 01:13:36,629 --> 01:13:38,239 It's an emotional commitment. 1337 01:13:38,283 --> 01:13:40,459 And if you're not ready to handle that, 1338 01:13:40,503 --> 01:13:43,331 then you should use an escort service. 1339 01:13:43,375 --> 01:13:45,899 On behalf of all hot women everywhere, 1340 01:13:45,943 --> 01:13:47,379 I'd like to set the record straight. 1341 01:13:47,423 --> 01:13:49,947 To all you shallow disreputable men 1342 01:13:49,990 --> 01:13:52,123 who think that by dropping a bunch of money on us, 1343 01:13:52,166 --> 01:13:53,472 we'll get you laid. 1344 01:13:53,516 --> 01:13:54,865 To begin with, 1345 01:13:54,908 --> 01:13:56,867 why do we have to spread our legs 1346 01:13:56,910 --> 01:13:58,695 after three dates? 1347 01:13:58,738 --> 01:14:00,827 That is degrading, disrespectful 1348 01:14:00,871 --> 01:14:02,699 and just plain wrong. 1349 01:14:02,742 --> 01:14:04,788 Dating is about romance. 1350 01:14:04,831 --> 01:14:06,616 Opening the car door for me, 1351 01:14:06,659 --> 01:14:08,835 surprising me with flowers, 1352 01:14:08,879 --> 01:14:10,794 writing a poem, 1353 01:14:10,837 --> 01:14:12,273 letting me suck your cock. 1354 01:14:12,317 --> 01:14:14,188 ♪ Shake that booty doody 1355 01:14:14,232 --> 01:14:16,103 ♪ Up and down and all around 1356 01:14:16,147 --> 01:14:17,975 ♪ Let me go to the ground 1357 01:14:18,018 --> 01:14:19,890 ♪ Hey shorty go to town 1358 01:14:19,933 --> 01:14:21,544 ♪ Take this move like Luther Vandy ♪ 1359 01:14:21,587 --> 01:14:23,459 ♪ So good like chewy candy 1360 01:14:23,502 --> 01:14:25,330 ♪ In the middle of Miami 1361 01:14:25,373 --> 01:14:27,201 ♪ Come and sit down on my jimmy ♪ 1362 01:14:27,245 --> 01:14:28,855 ♪ We could do it in a big old bed ♪ 1363 01:14:28,899 --> 01:14:30,640 ♪ Long answer give me good old head ♪ 1364 01:14:30,683 --> 01:14:32,511 ♪ Yeah girl that's what I said 1365 01:14:32,555 --> 01:14:34,339 ♪ No girl you don't get no bread ♪ 1366 01:14:34,382 --> 01:14:36,123 ♪ She got that kind of booty 1367 01:14:36,167 --> 01:14:38,082 ♪ Hit em up, come in and do me 1368 01:14:38,125 --> 01:14:39,779 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1369 01:14:39,823 --> 01:14:41,651 ♪ That type that'll drive you loony ♪ 1370 01:14:41,694 --> 01:14:43,522 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1371 01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:45,263 ♪ Back it up and bring it to me ♪ 1372 01:14:45,306 --> 01:14:47,134 ♪ Smack it up let's make a movie ♪ 1373 01:14:47,178 --> 01:14:50,703 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1374 01:14:50,747 --> 01:14:51,748 Bobby. 1375 01:14:52,879 --> 01:14:54,315 Nobody thinks you're a homosexual 1376 01:14:54,359 --> 01:14:55,752 just because you're in glee club. 1377 01:14:59,799 --> 01:15:02,454 I'm sorry. 1378 01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:04,456 I'm really sorry. 1379 01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:07,415 ♪ I thought I'd be doing theater ♪ 1380 01:15:07,459 --> 01:15:09,940 ♪ On Broadway 1381 01:15:12,638 --> 01:15:14,292 Holy shit. 1382 01:15:14,335 --> 01:15:16,468 Porno titties. 1383 01:15:16,512 --> 01:15:18,949 Do you think I learned this accent for my health? 1384 01:15:18,992 --> 01:15:21,560 Why the hell do you think I'm going out with you? 1385 01:15:21,604 --> 01:15:23,083 Here's a hint. 1386 01:15:23,127 --> 01:15:25,216 I can't go down on myself, Sasquatch. 1387 01:15:30,743 --> 01:15:33,006 She's a real beaut, isn't she? 1388 01:15:40,231 --> 01:15:43,713 What did you do to me? 1389 01:15:43,756 --> 01:15:48,282 Ah God, 1390 01:15:56,160 --> 01:15:57,378 My advice about sex, 1391 01:15:57,422 --> 01:15:59,511 be safe, always use protection. 1392 01:15:59,555 --> 01:16:01,905 Unless of course she's a Vietnamese hooker, 1393 01:16:01,948 --> 01:16:05,822 then... 1394 01:16:05,865 --> 01:16:06,866 take your chances. 1395 01:16:07,824 --> 01:16:10,696 So, remember the hot woman's credo. 1396 01:16:10,740 --> 01:16:12,829 Put out or get out. 1397 01:16:12,872 --> 01:16:15,309 I mean these puppies won't suck themselves. 1398 01:16:16,310 --> 01:16:18,312 Do you think I like going out with you? 1399 01:16:18,356 --> 01:16:19,792 Hell no! 1400 01:16:19,836 --> 01:16:21,228 I'd rather be at home 1401 01:16:21,272 --> 01:16:23,317 using my pocket pistol on my doll 1402 01:16:23,361 --> 01:16:26,930 than wasting three dates trying to get laid, Mike Jacobs. 1403 01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:29,672 Did I say that? 1404 01:16:29,715 --> 01:16:30,847 Oh, fuck it. 1405 01:16:30,890 --> 01:16:32,152 He has a small cock anyway. 1406 01:16:33,197 --> 01:16:37,462 My name is Mr. Matthews. 1407 01:16:37,505 --> 01:16:39,551 We're gonna be hands on, we're gonna dig into it. 1408 01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:42,075 Hell, I'm not afraid to share. I expose myself. 1409 01:16:42,119 --> 01:16:43,686 I collect pubic hair 1410 01:16:43,729 --> 01:16:45,818 from previous relationships. 1411 01:16:45,862 --> 01:16:47,472 Ooh, look at me, I'm crazy. 1412 01:16:47,515 --> 01:16:49,996 Right, okay, yeah. 1413 01:16:51,171 --> 01:16:53,652 Hey, come on, partner. 1414 01:16:53,696 --> 01:16:55,654 I'm not just a sex ed teacher. 1415 01:16:55,698 --> 01:16:56,829 I'm also a dude, 1416 01:16:56,873 --> 01:16:58,744 flesh and ball. 1417 01:16:58,788 --> 01:17:00,790 Somebody who's got special needs. 1418 01:17:00,833 --> 01:17:02,226 A blind girl. 1419 01:17:02,269 --> 01:17:03,662 Violently desperate. 1420 01:17:03,706 --> 01:17:05,316 For criminy, a hunchback, 1421 01:17:05,359 --> 01:17:08,101 somebody swinging a bell in the south of France. 1422 01:17:08,145 --> 01:17:12,062 Glass eye, probably bad skin, crooked teeth. 1423 01:17:12,105 --> 01:17:13,150 Hooves. 1424 01:17:15,195 --> 01:17:16,675 So what do I do? 1425 01:17:17,763 --> 01:17:22,725 Well, from where I'm sitting, 1426 01:17:24,161 --> 01:17:25,597 Sorry about that. 1427 01:17:26,903 --> 01:17:27,904 Cut. 1428 01:17:29,949 --> 01:17:31,734 Unless... 1429 01:17:31,777 --> 01:17:34,040 we find a way to program an auto, 1430 01:17:34,084 --> 01:17:35,651 let me talk that over. 1431 01:17:35,694 --> 01:17:38,915 Unless we can find a way to find a, geez. 1432 01:17:39,959 --> 01:17:41,787 Unless we find a way 1433 01:17:41,831 --> 01:17:44,964 to make a artificial woman off your computer and then, 1434 01:17:45,922 --> 01:17:48,968 gosh, 1435 01:17:49,012 --> 01:17:50,840 ♪ Shorty got that fat ass 1436 01:17:50,883 --> 01:17:52,668 ♪ I'm harder than a math class 1437 01:17:52,711 --> 01:17:54,278 ♪ Mommy don't you act though 1438 01:17:54,321 --> 01:17:56,367 ♪ Just stop and back up 1439 01:17:56,410 --> 01:17:58,108 ♪ Go ahead and drop that ass low ♪ 1440 01:17:58,151 --> 01:17:59,892 ♪ Be easy move that ass slow 1441 01:17:59,936 --> 01:18:01,677 ♪ Nobody has to know 1442 01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:03,591 ♪ We in the corner though 1443 01:18:03,635 --> 01:18:05,332 ♪ You sipping champagne 1444 01:18:05,376 --> 01:18:07,117 ♪ I'm drinking Cognac 1445 01:18:07,160 --> 01:18:08,771 ♪ You do that damn thing 1446 01:18:08,814 --> 01:18:10,729 ♪ I get up on that 1447 01:18:10,773 --> 01:18:12,470 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1448 01:18:12,513 --> 01:18:14,341 ♪ Hit em up, come in and do me 1449 01:18:14,385 --> 01:18:16,126 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1450 01:18:16,169 --> 01:18:17,867 ♪ The type that'll drive you loony ♪ 1451 01:18:17,910 --> 01:18:19,607 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1452 01:18:19,651 --> 01:18:21,435 ♪ Back it up and bring it to me ♪ 1453 01:18:21,479 --> 01:18:23,176 ♪ Smack it up let's make a movie ♪ 1454 01:18:23,220 --> 01:18:24,874 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1455 01:18:24,917 --> 01:18:27,746 Five, six, seven, eight, go! 1456 01:18:27,790 --> 01:18:31,445 ♪ It wasn't my first choice 1457 01:18:31,489 --> 01:18:34,535 My parents think I'm in college. 1458 01:18:34,579 --> 01:18:36,450 Five, six, seven, eight, go! 1459 01:18:36,494 --> 01:18:40,237 ♪ It wasn't my first choice 1460 01:18:40,280 --> 01:18:42,935 My parents think I'm in college. 1461 01:18:42,979 --> 01:18:45,808 Five, six, seven, eight, mop! 1462 01:18:45,851 --> 01:18:49,420 ♪ It wasn't my first choice 1463 01:18:49,463 --> 01:18:52,336 My parents think I'm in college. 1464 01:18:52,379 --> 01:18:53,380 Cut. 1465 01:18:55,295 --> 01:18:58,255 Hey baby, this is for you. 1466 01:18:58,298 --> 01:19:00,910 I love you. 1467 01:19:07,177 --> 01:19:09,005 You have to be adventurous 1468 01:19:09,048 --> 01:19:10,310 when it comes to sex, 1469 01:19:10,354 --> 01:19:12,095 like carpe diem, seize the moment. 1470 01:19:12,138 --> 01:19:14,532 As long as there's a naked woman somewhere in the room, 1471 01:19:14,575 --> 01:19:15,838 it's not gay. 1472 01:19:15,881 --> 01:19:17,796 And it's definitely not cheating 1473 01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:19,972 if you do it with the chick that turns out to be a dude. 1474 01:19:20,016 --> 01:19:24,194 Especially if he she is really fucking hot. 1475 01:19:24,237 --> 01:19:26,283 And it's definitely not cheating 1476 01:19:26,326 --> 01:19:28,807 if the chick turns out to be a dude 1477 01:19:28,851 --> 01:19:30,635 who's really hot with great tits. 1478 01:19:31,679 --> 01:19:32,811 I like boobs. 1479 01:19:37,424 --> 01:19:39,992 ♪ Here we go 1480 01:19:40,036 --> 01:19:42,516 I hope you brought your appetite. 1481 01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:45,476 Looks like a nice meal. 1482 01:19:46,999 --> 01:19:49,654 We got ourselves a full meal. 1483 01:19:49,697 --> 01:19:50,873 I hope you brought your appetite. 1484 01:19:50,916 --> 01:19:53,179 We got a big one. 1485 01:19:53,223 --> 01:19:54,877 Nance, I hope you brought your appetite. 1486 01:19:55,791 --> 01:19:57,836 Got yourself a man size meal. 1487 01:19:59,620 --> 01:20:01,666 Ladies, you're gonna get the chance. 1488 01:20:01,709 --> 01:20:04,147 And I hope you both brought your appetites 1489 01:20:04,190 --> 01:20:06,845 'cause this one's packing a full meal. 1490 01:20:06,889 --> 01:20:08,064 Don't be nervous, kid. 1491 01:20:08,107 --> 01:20:10,718 Go on there and knock 'em dead. 1492 01:20:12,285 --> 01:20:14,026 And cut. 1493 01:20:14,070 --> 01:20:15,985 It's okay to choke your partner out. 1494 01:20:16,028 --> 01:20:17,464 It's okay to be choked out. 1495 01:20:17,508 --> 01:20:20,728 Just don't go to the in excess place. 1496 01:20:20,772 --> 01:20:22,469 ♪ Shake that booty 1497 01:20:22,513 --> 01:20:24,428 ♪ Keep shake shake shake 1498 01:20:24,471 --> 01:20:25,864 ♪ Shake that booty 1499 01:20:25,908 --> 01:20:27,866 ♪ Keep shake shake shake 1500 01:20:27,910 --> 01:20:29,781 ♪ Up and down a stripper pole 1501 01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:31,609 ♪ Got that body on swole 1502 01:20:31,652 --> 01:20:33,524 ♪ You know my package right 1503 01:20:33,567 --> 01:20:35,352 ♪ You can stay the whole night 1504 01:20:35,395 --> 01:20:37,006 ♪ Lady, what you gotta do 1505 01:20:37,049 --> 01:20:38,877 ♪ Is keep me in the back of you ♪ 1506 01:20:38,921 --> 01:20:40,705 ♪ Nobody do you like I do 1507 01:20:40,748 --> 01:20:42,533 ♪ They call me Mr. Mackadoo 1508 01:20:42,576 --> 01:20:44,491 ♪ All these tits got me in the mood ♪ 1509 01:20:44,535 --> 01:20:46,842 ♪ We're the ones that should be getting screwed ♪ 1510 01:20:46,885 --> 01:20:51,194 ♪ Let us be your man whores 1511 01:20:54,066 --> 01:20:56,416 This one is called the Jason Alexander. 1512 01:20:56,460 --> 01:20:58,201 Or the Napoleon, I like to call it 1513 01:20:58,244 --> 01:21:01,073 'cause it's mean, short and angry. 1514 01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:04,511 You know what a sawed off shotgun looks like, 1515 01:21:04,555 --> 01:21:05,991 this is what it is. 1516 01:21:06,035 --> 01:21:07,732 Or a can of corn. Hmm? 1517 01:21:10,604 --> 01:21:11,649 And cut. 1518 01:21:14,173 --> 01:21:15,914 Cut. 1519 01:21:15,958 --> 01:21:17,394 That's the cut. 1520 01:21:17,437 --> 01:21:18,786 It's also called the Purple Mushroom 1521 01:21:18,830 --> 01:21:20,353 or the Lord Vader. 1522 01:21:20,397 --> 01:21:22,399 This was from a botched tranny job, but 1523 01:21:23,530 --> 01:21:26,794 telling you, they happen, they're real. 1524 01:21:26,838 --> 01:21:28,448 Cut. 1525 01:21:28,492 --> 01:21:30,102 That's the cut. That was great. 1526 01:21:30,146 --> 01:21:32,104 Hey, excellent. Let's pass them all around. 1527 01:21:32,148 --> 01:21:33,845 Get a feel for 'em, grab the shaft, 1528 01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:37,196 cup the balls, do the whole nine yards. 1529 01:21:38,763 --> 01:21:40,417 Look up. 1530 01:21:43,811 --> 01:21:44,812 Get rid of the smile. 1531 01:21:44,856 --> 01:21:45,857 Sorry. 1532 01:21:46,989 --> 01:21:48,120 Kick the tires and check the traps, 1533 01:21:48,164 --> 01:21:49,600 if you know what I mean. 1534 01:21:49,643 --> 01:21:51,080 Now this one is called the Tadpole 1535 01:21:51,123 --> 01:21:52,908 or the Meat Cone, if you will. 1536 01:21:52,951 --> 01:21:53,952 God bless it! 1537 01:21:55,432 --> 01:21:58,130 Now just look action. 1538 01:21:59,871 --> 01:22:01,612 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1539 01:22:01,655 --> 01:22:03,614 ♪ Hit em up, come in and do me 1540 01:22:03,657 --> 01:22:05,355 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1541 01:22:05,398 --> 01:22:07,183 ♪ The type that'll drive you loony ♪ 1542 01:22:07,226 --> 01:22:08,924 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1543 01:22:08,967 --> 01:22:10,795 ♪ Back it up and bring it to me ♪ 1544 01:22:10,838 --> 01:22:12,449 ♪ Smack it up, let's make a movie ♪ 1545 01:22:12,492 --> 01:22:14,799 ♪ She's got that kind of booty 1546 01:22:25,853 --> 01:22:28,291 And if you can't afford an escort service, 1547 01:22:28,334 --> 01:22:29,509 find a crack whore. 1548 01:22:30,597 --> 01:22:31,947 It's useful in a pinch. 1549 01:22:34,340 --> 01:22:36,038 Again. 1550 01:22:36,081 --> 01:22:37,300 Scoob. 1551 01:22:37,343 --> 01:22:39,476 You could find a crack whore 1552 01:22:39,519 --> 01:22:41,478 and just hit her with a rock. 1553 01:22:43,436 --> 01:22:45,351 If you can't afford it, just get a crack whore somewhere. 1554 01:22:46,874 --> 01:22:48,833 Just give her a little rock. 1555 01:22:48,876 --> 01:22:51,096 She'll suck your dick for a dollar, sorry. 1556 01:22:52,141 --> 01:22:53,751 And cut. 1557 01:22:53,794 --> 01:22:57,146 Well, ladies, I think you wanna take the long road 1558 01:22:57,189 --> 01:23:00,584 through Dick Town too, yeah. 1559 01:23:01,628 --> 01:23:02,760 So, again, 1560 01:23:02,803 --> 01:23:04,414 my name is Matthew Lillard. 1561 01:23:04,457 --> 01:23:06,024 Thank you for spending a little time with me. 1562 01:23:06,068 --> 01:23:07,460 I hope my advice has helped, 1563 01:23:07,504 --> 01:23:08,809 and if it hasn't, 1564 01:23:08,853 --> 01:23:09,985 fuck you, dick! 1565 01:23:12,857 --> 01:23:14,163 Cut! 1566 01:23:14,206 --> 01:23:15,686 ♪ My darling, the stars 1567 01:23:15,729 --> 01:23:18,994 ♪ They shine for you 1568 01:23:19,037 --> 01:23:23,999 ♪ My darling of earth, winter for you ♪ 1569 01:23:24,042 --> 01:23:26,784 ♪ My darling my heart skips a beat ♪ 1570 01:23:26,827 --> 01:23:31,441 ♪ Whenever I think of you 1571 01:23:31,484 --> 01:23:33,878 ♪ And under this moon and sky 1572 01:23:33,921 --> 01:23:38,187 ♪ I pray and dream that I will be the one, will be the one ♪ 1573 01:23:38,230 --> 01:23:43,018 ♪ That you 1574 01:23:43,061 --> 01:23:46,151 ♪ Bend 1575 01:23:46,195 --> 01:23:51,156 ♪ Over and bang good and hard from behind ♪ 1576 01:23:51,200 --> 01:23:53,115 ♪ Have me on all fours 1577 01:23:53,158 --> 01:23:56,466 ♪ Howling at the sky 1578 01:23:56,509 --> 01:23:59,164 ♪ I'll give your cock a good long suck ♪ 1579 01:23:59,208 --> 01:24:01,993 ♪ Then you'll give me a good hard fuck ♪ 1580 01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:04,517 ♪ Squeeze my tits all big and bouncy ♪ 1581 01:24:04,561 --> 01:24:06,954 ♪ Then spunk all over my body 1582 01:24:06,998 --> 01:24:12,003 ♪ I wanna be your butt hot greasy slut, greasy slut ♪ 1583 01:24:12,395 --> 01:24:13,700 ♪ Begging for more ♪ 1584 01:24:13,744 --> 01:24:16,138 ♪ For I can't get enough 1585 01:24:16,181 --> 01:24:20,707 ♪ Can't get enough 1586 01:24:20,751 --> 01:24:22,579 ♪ When I leave your tool 1587 01:24:22,622 --> 01:24:26,104 ♪ Used up, worn and soggy 1588 01:24:26,148 --> 01:24:29,281 ♪ I won't stop then, oh no no no ♪ 1589 01:24:29,325 --> 01:24:34,286 ♪ I'll become your little leg humping doggy ♪ 1590 01:24:35,635 --> 01:24:40,075 ♪ Let me be your dirty fucking whore ♪ 1591 01:24:54,089 --> 01:24:55,220 Hello, Sue? 1592 01:24:55,264 --> 01:24:57,135 Ronny, are you there? 1593 01:24:57,179 --> 01:24:58,702 I think your reception's bad. 1594 01:24:58,745 --> 01:25:02,793 Yeah, I'm in 1864. Let me move to a window. 1595 01:25:04,708 --> 01:25:06,318 That's better. 1596 01:25:06,362 --> 01:25:09,408 Ronny, are you gonna be okay? 1597 01:25:10,496 --> 01:25:11,497 Yeah. 1598 01:25:12,803 --> 01:25:15,197 For the first time, I think I am. 108042