Original subtitles

Hey, boy

Hey, boy

Hey, boy

Come on, boy.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, fellow.

No more fucking finals!

Hey, don't do it. Don't go to college. It's a fucking scam. It fucking sucks!

Leave him alone.

- Hey, Bert, you got any more smokes? - No.

So it's fat. So what? I hope she's not anorexic.

Put her there, sport.

What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

- Damn! Jesus! - God damn it, Dennis, no!

No, Dennis, no! No!

Don't hit him or anything.

Everybody knows not to sit next to Dennis! Mongrel'll give you tetanus.

Yeah, well, maybe you should make a sign.

There's a stream around back if you want to wash your hand.

I'll get you a towel.

Hey, pal, do you think it's a smart idea, leaving your kid out here

where he might be a danger to people?

Just what are you saying, exactly?

Well, I'm just saying if such an incident

were to bring about a "lawsuit," you might be held liable.

Forget it. Jeff, save it for law school.

Cute kid.

Hey.

Hi, there.

What's your name? Yeah! Okay.

You like that? You like how that feels?

You shut it. You shut it good, boy. You like that, do you?

I can't hear you, Dennis. I can't hear you.

Fine.

Now if you're interested in some really good glassware,

it's cheap, but it's an antique. Some of those bottles up there

are dated before the Civil War.

And over there, I used to have in that empty space,

I used to have some of the prettiest Shirley Temple bottles I've ever seen.

And this woman came in here with the palsy, the poor soul.

She thought they were so cute, and she reached for them

and knocked them every one down and broke them all to damn pieces.

So I took her in the back and gave her some Coke

and some ammonia. I thought she was gonna have a spell.

We should get something for your mom here to say thanks.

- How about some fox piss? - Yeah. My mom would love fox piss.

Lord, don't drop that. I'll tell you why. If you do, that's powerful stuff.

All the foxes in this community will come down here.

You'll have friends you've never had before.

Y'all here for a vacation?

Yeah. Yeah, we're renting a cabin for about a week.

That's nice. Well, enjoy your little slice of heaven.

And if you go in the woods, be very careful.

Why? What's in the woods?

Hey, Tommy, get those kids their sandwiches back there.

They're all wrapped up.

So what's the fox urine for?

That's for fox season.

- What's the rifle for? - That's for niggers.

Okay, let's see. Let me figure those sandwiches.

Now I think we're about ready to get y'all out of here.

- That's $56 even. - Okay.

- Anything else I can do for you, friend? - No. No, I think that's...

Thank you. Y'all have a good vacation, now.

- You, too. - Come back and see me.

Hey, thanks a lot, man. You have a nice day, all right?

Okay.

That guy just say "nigger"?

Yeah, Jeff. Don't repeat it. Call it the "n" word.

Hey.

Boy, you want to give me one good reason why you would steal a Snickers bar?

The nougat?

- I'm sorry, man. My bad. - All right. Enjoy.

Thanks.

What?

Moron.

What's wrong with you, dude?

Sorry!

Burn his fucking store down, the racist mother...

- Here? - Take a left.

Where else am I gonna go?

Coming down...

- Stop the car! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! - Careful, Jeff.

- Bert... - I left my mom's apple juice

-back at the... Back at the store! - Oh, my God.

- Come on! - No. We're not going back.

- Come on! - Hey, Karen, this river is in the map, right?

Yes, I'm looking at it...

There's no way that this creek is on the map!

It is on the map. Do you want to look at the map?

Right there.

Right here next to Big Bone Lick?

- No. Let's see that. Yes. - Wait, finish it.

She's right. She's right. She's right.

- Yeah. Thank you. - We're going the right way.

No, no, no. This is not that road, though.

- Yes, it is. - No, it's not, no. We're going back.

- No, no. - This map's for Cincinnati!

- Shut up! - Go straight!

It's not... Fine.

Fuck it! We'll go this way.

Oh, my gosh!

This is great.

"Welcome, y'all. Enjoy your vacation from all of us at Bunyon Mountain Getaways."

Oh, my God, Jeff, check it out. It's so cute.

- This little room and this little bed... - Yeah.

-...and this view, it's so beautiful. - Beautiful bed.

- A view of the shrubs... - Yeah.

...and the bush, and the antlers...

It's gonna be so perfect. We're here for a week,

and there's no one to bother us.

Who's up for a dip?

We're... They're...

Yeah. Safe sex.

- Hey, Paul? - Yeah?

Have fun.

That's the second time they've done that.

I think it's kind of sweet, you know? Seem pretty in love.

Bert, what the hell is that?

- Gonna go shoot some squirrels. - Why would you want to kill squirrels?

-'Cause they're gay. - Bert, don't be a fucking retard.

Kidding. I don't care if they're gay or straight. I'll kill them either way.

Will you be careful with that thing?

Would you relax, man? It's just a fucking BB gun. Relax!

Sorry.

So, Karen, how long have we known each other?

- Seventh grade, right? - Yeah.

So, you know, I was thinking, we've known each other for so long,

and even though we've...

That's hot!

And even though, like, we've always been good friends,

we never actually...

Like, I've always thought that you were really cool and...

Hey. Race you to the raft.

Fuck!

- Fucking good, Jeff. - Oh, my God!

- I'm so lucky. - Baby! You're so fucking great!

You're fucking ripped!

You're fucking bod's so fucking...

- Okay, let me do it to you. Fuck it. - Come on.

You like this? Yeah, yeah?

- You like that? I thought you'd go for that. - Yeah!

I'm sorry. Yeah!

So, you know Ken Webb?

Yeah. Short, greasy Ken?

- The guy with the CDs, right? - Yeah.

He tried to kiss me.

- He did? - Yeah. Two days ago.

This guy I've known for, like, 12 years, this family friend,

puts his hands on my face, full-on tongue. God, it was so gross.

Why? Was it gross because you've known him for so long,

or because he's gross?

No, it was definitely him.

I don't know. You know, when you've known someone a long time

and you just want to kiss them just to see if they're a good kisser or not?

There's nothing wrong with that, right?

No.

- Where you going? - What's it look like?

But I thought we were kissing.

Yeah, we were.

So...

So, what, you like me now? Is this, like, a date?

Don't be gay.

Come back, Mr. Woodchuck.

I'm gonna get you now.

Shit.

Fuck.

I'm so sorry, man!

Why... Why did you shoot me?

I thought you were something else. I... I... I... Fuck!

- Are you all right? - I'm sick.

I need help.

I'll get you some help, all right? I'll be right back. I got a car.

Holy fuck.

- Please... - Fuck.

- Help me! - Fuck.

I'm sick. I need water.

I'll... Just, just lay down. Don't move, man.

- Water. - I'll get you water.

Just stay right... Don't... Don't come near me, okay?

- Is that your cabin? - Just stay there, man!

Is that your cabin?

- No! Just stay there. Please stay there! - I need to rest.

- Don't make me fucking shoot you, man! - I'm...

Just stay the fuck back, please!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck, man! God! Do here.

Yo, dipshit, what the fuck, man? Where were you?

You burn the whole fucking place down?

What are you, fucking Smokey the Clown now?

Don't you mean Smokey the Bear?

Whatever. This is fucking horseshit, man. It's a fucking fireplace.

How fucking old are you? Can't you be responsible for anything?

Goddamn, we can't leave you alone

for five fucking minutes without you destroying something.

- Come on. - And what the fuck were you shooting at?

I heard a... I heard a squirrel or something...

- I was just looking for a squirrel. - A squirrel?

- Yeah. - You're such a fucking idiot.

...a stick up his ass.

- I mean, come on... - You...

- Paul, why don't you tell us the story? - No.

And what are you gonna roast on that thing?

Come on, Paul. Tell them the story.

No, I can't. It's a traumatic experience.

- I don't really want to talk about it. - I like traumatic stories.

I mean, not about me, but...

Paul, trauma bonds people. You can tell us.

Trauma bonds the people who go through it, not the people you tell it to.

- Just tell them the fucking story, man! - All right, all right!

So there's this bowling alley when we were growing up.

You guys might remember it. Lenny Mead's Brighton Bowl.

It was in Brighton, right?

That's probably why it was called the Brighton Bowl. Yeah.

Anyway, we used to go there for birthday parties

or with my dad for the weekend or whatever.

And this one time, I ask my dad if we could go,

and he's like, "No. The bowling alley's closed."

This marshmallows so burnt!

It turned out there had been a break-in. All the employees were held at gunpoint.

And then after they had been gagged and beaten,

they were tied to chairs.

The chairs, they were set in a circle,

so that way everybody was forced to watch everybody else.

And then the robber, this sick maniac,

he goes and finds one of those little ball-peen hammers,

and then one by one,

he smashed the backs of their heads open with the hammer.

Everyone had to watch their friends die, knowing that they'd soon be next.

Ball-peen.

Guy doesn't stop there.

He goes and he breaks out the fire axe.

The alarm goes off. He doesn't give a shit.

He hacked off all their limbs.

The cops found six bloody torsos tied to the bowling seats.

Blood everywhere.

Turns out the guy was some disgruntled employee.

That was my childhood playground.

- Bert, you asshole. It's not funny. - Yes, it is, you fucking slut.

- Jeff. - What?

- Tell them about the happy bald guy. - God, no. I can't take it.

He was the... He was the guy who gave us our shoes and quarters for the video games.

There was a room with a pool table, too, but my dad wouldn't let us go back there.

But the bald guy, he was always happy. He was always smiling, you know.

But the killer got him, too.

When the cops searched the place, they found all the hacked-off limbs

at the end of the bowling lanes.

The guy had bowled people's organs. Arms, legs, everything.

Found the bald guy's head in the ball return.

- He was still smiling. - Oh, no!

- You! I knew you were full of shit! - No.

- You suck! You suck! - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I swear!

It was in the paper. I swear to...

- I'm laughing because... - Guys.

Jeff is an asshole and he's making me laugh.

No, I swear... I loved this place. I still remember all the sounds,

you know, like the cracking, the bouncing,

the smell of the shoes, the sounds of the Q-bert machine...

Holy shit! What are you doing, man?

- I'm cool, I'm cool! - Are you spying on us or something, man?

- I'm cool. - Wait. ls your dog friendly?

Yeah, yeah. He's cool. This is Dr. Mambo.

Here, boy. Come on. Come on, Dr. Mambo.

He's a doctor? Like a physician or a professor?

Yeah, he's a professor.

Of being a dog! Faced!

Scratch-mod ed !

That's a positive bonfire.

Got room for one more?

Actually, we were kind of having a private conversation, if you don't mind.

That's cool, that's cool.

I guess I'll go smoke all this weed by myself then.

- No, no, no. That's cool. - No, no.

- It's fine! - That's all right. It's not that private.

- Yeah. - It's fine.

- So... Yeah, so, you know... - Awesome.

- Yeah, sit right here. - Awesome. Awesome.

Awesome.

- Wait. So your name was... - Justin. But you can call me Grim.

- Grim. - Like "Grimace"?

Grim is my skating name.

I got it out in Berkeley when I was competing in the X-games.

- Really? Karen's gonna go to Berkeley. - Yeah.

Dude!

Awesome!

Yeah. Love Berkeley. I mean, people there are so whacked, you know.

I met these guys, and they had me fucked up for, like, five days straight.

They wouldn't let me drink anything but beer.

Yeah. Yeah, I've totally done that, except I do it with J.D.

Hey, Karen's got a great idea.

We should only drink beer for the rest of the trip.

I could probably do that, Bert, but I doubt that you could.

All right. I'll bet you I can only drink beer for the rest of the trip, okay?

If I drink anything else, you can have the rest of my supply.

- All right, you're on. We only drink beer. - Yeah, you're on.

So... So what? You're like a skater? Is that your occupation?

- Crap! - Party's over.

No.

Hey, Justin... Grim, you want to come inside for a little bit?

You know what? I'd love to, but I left all the shit outside my tent,

and it's starting to rain. If it gets fucked up, it's, like, $4,000 worth of shit pissed away.

Wait. How far is your tent?

It's 20 minutes away, but, you know, if I book, I can be back in, like, 30.

All right, cool. Bring the weed.

I will. All right, cool. Check you dudes later.

Come on, Dr. Mambo.

- Freak. - I thought he was funny.

- How'd it work? - What do you mean, how?

It had a hose, bunch of different settings.

Pulse. Power.

Stream.

And you came every time?

Totally.

You can imagine my disappointment the first time I had sex.

- Tell me about it. - Wait, what's that supposed to mean?

I got a better story than that.

I'm sorry, Bert, but no story is better

than Karen and her parents' shower massage.

No, seriously, I'm serious.

One time I was masturbating,

and my dog came up and started licking my balls,

then right as I came, it stuck its tongue up my ass.

That's fucking serious masturbation talent right there.

Fucking good.

The guy better have brought more weed or I'm not letting him in.

- All right, relax, pal, I'm coming. - His name's Grim.

Jesus Christ.

Help me. Please, I need a doctor.

Doctor.

Yeah, yeah, all right, all right. Yeah, hey, somebody grab a blanket or something.

You...

You shot me.

No, no, no, no, no. There's no way

this fucking contagious fucker's coming in here.

- Bert, he's sick, for Christ's sake. - No, fuck him!

What, you want him to come in here and fucking touch all your shit?

Your fucking soap, your fucking...

Wait! Let's throw him a blanket or something.

- Your douche or some shit? - We could at least drive him to a doctor!

No! He's not fucking coming in here!

We're out of range. I'm not getting anything.

- Fuck. - What's that?

- He's in the car. - What?

- Motherfucker! - Why is this guy fucking with us?

- Grab your gun. - Fuck.

Come on, hurry up, hurry up. He's in the car already.

- Let's go! - Come on! Come on!

Get out of the car, man! Out! No fucking more!

Get out of there! Get out of the car, man! Get out! Get out of the fucking car!

- Look out! - Fuck!

Get out of the truck, you freak! Get out of there, man!

- Fuck, motherfucker! - You shot the car!

What am I supposed to do?

Oh, my God, man!

- Oh, my God! - Fuck!

Shit!

- Come back, man! - Shit!

- Stab him! - He's coming towards us!

Stop or I'll fucking stab you! Stop! Stop! God!

All right, back off! Fuck off! Come on, leave us alone! Fuck off!

No!

I know, I know, I know. What else were we gonna do?

First he gets his shit all over the car, then, I didn't want him touching me.

Or you or anybody.

- I think the rain will put him out. - Well, listen, he's dead anyway.

I mean, you guys saw that shit on him. He looked like he was skinned alive.

We have to tell the police it wasn't our fault.

I think we should tell them now.

- I think we should tell them now. - Would you just calm down?

There's nothing we can do. The car's fucked.

We need a mechanic. We'll find a neighbor, we'll find somebody who knows one.

And then we'll report the accident.

That's the key word here. It was an accident, all right?

That guy's skin... Holy shit.

You know, you should probably clean up some of this shit while we're gone, man.

Yeah, I'll be sure and save some for you guys.

- Look, just stick with the girls, all right? - What's that supposed to mean?

It means you're a fucking pussy. What do you think?

- That's fucked up. - No, what's fucked up

is you beating the shit out of my truck with that bat of yours.

What about the jag-off over here with the rifle? Did you forget about him?

Come on, man! We all fucked up that car. Don't just put it on me.

Morning, boys. You guys gonna kill each other now?

- Where you going? - To get help.

- So, Bert and Jeff have gone to... - I know.

Karen...

Look, last night was a really fucked-up situation, and I think...

Paul, that guy asked for our help. We lit him on fire.

You'll understand if I'm not in a particularly social mood.

I got scared. You know, I was...

I was just trying to help.

Karen.

I'm sorry, Paul.

Every time I close my eyes, I see him.

It was an accident.

The guy was gonna die anyway.

Better?

Yeah.

Thanks, Paul.

Hello!

God damn it! God damn it! God damn it! God damn it!

Damn it! Damn it!

God damn it! God damn it! God damn it!

Hold it! You there! Do you see this? Do you see this shit?

- No, no, we didn't see anything. - You tell Murray I can't eat this shit.

Some goddamn animal's been running around here infecting everything.

And what am I supposed to do with a sick hog, huh? Huh?

Because I am not about to eat that meat. Would you?

No, I'm a vegetarian...

Because, you know, none of this shit's good.

It's all sick. It's all gotta go back, and I want me a new hog!

You know what? We were just looking for a mechanic, so...

A mechanic? Well, you won't find one around here.

- You'll have to go to town to get that. - See, that's the thing.

Our car's busted, right? So we can't get into town,

so we need to find somebody that'll take us into town, you know,

so we can find a mechanic.

Well, I already been in town today. Sorry.

All right, well, if you do go back, would you tell us?

Because, see, we're staying in a cabin, and we don't know Murray.

I'm sorry. Yes, of course, of course!

Heck, why didn't y'all just come out and say that?

Well, come on inside. I've got a radio. We'll call Ricky.

- A radio? - He's got a tow truck. Yeah.

- We'll call Ricky. - Ricky, all right.

Sorry to bother you, but this crazy guy came out of the woods,

and he tried to trash our car or something. I don't know.

Sounds terrible. I have some juice. So this person damaged your car?

Yeah, it was just this crazy hermit. You know, real dangerous.

We had to chase him away with bats and everything.

A hermit? It wasn't Henry, was it? Nah, shit, never.

- Henry? - No, my cousin, Henry.

But he knows about that ordinance. He wouldn't do something like that.

- Did you say you hit him with a bat? - No!

- No, no, it wasn't Henry. - No.

It was our friend, Walter. He got drunk, and, you know, one thing led to another.

- No, that's no good. - Yeah.

Hey! You know what? I got a great idea.

- Why don't we take a walk down ourselves? - Yeah.

- It's really nice out. - It's... We'll just walk.

I haven't really gotten to see the scenery or anything.

Are you sure? I mean, Ricky's awfully handy.

- You know, thanks a lot for your help. - Are you sure?

Yeah, a little fresh air sounds great. So we really appreciate your help.

Take care.

- I can't believe we burned Henry! - Fuck!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Is anyone home?

Hello?

- Bert, you dick-nose! - Shut up!

- What the hell? - Did you find anybody?

No, nothing.

Well, I followed the path that that old guy ran,

but I don't know. I couldn't find him. He could still be alive.

No, it's impossible.

- You guys want any beef jerky? - No, Bert. Put it away.

- Why? -'Cause it's not our house.

So?

- Did you find a phone? - No.

No. It felt weird looking around, but there's nobody here.

We found this other place, but there's nobody there either.

- I wonder if the cops know about it yet. - I doubt it.

I mean, if they did know, they probably would've been at the cabin by now.

Morning, son. Deputy Winston. Bunyon County Sheriff's department.

Hi. Hi, what can I do for you?

I'm out patrolling myjurisdiction,

and I heard there was a lot of commotion here last night.

- I just want to know what the story is. - Yeah, sure, sure.

Some guy tried to break into our cabin, and he was sick.

I don't know what kind of disease he had, but he was a mess.

- Okay. Well, I'm gonna have to report this. - Yeah. No, totally.

My friends are out looking for a neighbor right now so we could actually call you.

We don't have a phone in here.

Yeah. That's because everyone uses radios. That's what I use.

Hey.

Looks like you guys were doing some pretty good partying, huh, man?

Well, yeah. You know, we were drinking.

And then this guy came along, and he tried to break into the cabin.

We had no choice but to get rough. I mean, I feel awful, but he was going crazy.

He smashed into our car, and then he wouldn't come out,

so, we had to hit him.

I mean, we hurt him, but we were terrified. We didn't know what to do.

That's why we went to look for help today...

Hey, man, I told you. All right, I'm gonna make a report.

Don't worry about it. He ain't gonna come back, man.

Looks like you guys scared him away pretty good.

I ain't gonna let him ruin your fun, all right?

Thank you. 'Cause I'll tell you, my friend's inside right now,

and she's pretty freaked out. She wants to go home.

- We all kind of do. - You've got a lady friend, huh?

Yeah, I bet you like to party with the ladies.

Paul?

Is everything okay?

Howdy, ma'am! Everything's fine.

Just go back inside, have yourself a big 40, just party.

Okay.

Daddy, man! Why you talking about leaving for?

- You gotta stay and party. - That's why we came here in the first place.

I'm telling you, man. This is a major party town.

Really?

You kidding me, man? You know what it's like.

Like when you go to a new town, right, and you're the new guy.

All the girls see you walking down the street.

They all know you got five pounds of dangling meat.

You're looking for no commitment. You understand what I'm saying?

- Yeah, yeah, I've heard that phrase before. - Shit, man, this is that town.

It's like when I go party up in Wambusa 'cause my cousin goes to school there.

So when I party in Wambusa, I know I'm gonna get pussy, man.

Plus, you know, the girls up there, they don't know I'm a deputy.

You know, they don't know what I do, so I know they're gonna party hard with me.

And believe me, man, they do.

That's too bad. I bet you used to rule this town before you had a badge.

Yeah, but, you know, the badge make you grow up quick.

Holy shit, man. Those guys really did a number on your ride.

And I'm gonna put out an A.P.B. We gonna catch this guy, all right?

Yeah. You know, it wasn't totally him. We hit it, too.

But we were just trying to scare him away, you know?

Do you think you can get somebody up here to fix it?

What do I look like, man, an idiot?

I'll have somebody up here by tomorrow afternoon, all right?

You're top priority. You're the party man!

Do you realize how many great parties we're gonna have?

Fortune's shining on you, brother. I know where all the big parties are at.

Listen, just remember my name's Winston, all right?

You know how to get a hold of me, right?

-911? - That's it, my man.

- Take it easy, all right? - Yeah.

Did he say he was gonna report this shit or not?

I think he is, but, you know, he didn't make it seem like we did anything wrong.

He just said he'd get a tow truck up here by tomorrow.

- Sounds weird to me. - The guy was weird.

Once he saw Karen, he didn't want to leave.

Has Karen left her room yet?

No, she's still sleeping. I don't know what's up with her.

She wants to get out of here as soon as she can.

- Kind of puts a kink in your plan, huh? - What plan?

What plan!

The plan you've been trying to execute since, what, eighth grade?

No, there's no plan. Not anymore.

Whatever. You guys are funny.

Fucking... She likes you because you're nice to her,

and she's nice to you because she can control you, and fuck it...

- You're nice to her because... - Bert, Bert, don't move.

Fuck. It's that fucking freak's dog, man.

- Should I hit it? - I don't know, man.

If you're gonna hit it, hit it hard.

Holy shit.

So where's Grim?

I'll tell you where he is. He's out there rotting.

There's some sick shit out in that woods,

and that fucking hermit's spreading it around.

I'm not gonna wait for that deputy to come back.

- I say we get out of here right now. - Should we say something on our way out,

like, "By the way, we burned some guy alive"?

- Yes. - No.

- Jeff... - Fine. Fuck it. We'll tell the cops.

We have to. Look, they're gonna figure it out.

The deputy knows something happened. We're the only outsiders.

They're gonna trace it back to us.

I feel nauseous.

Karen...

- How soon can you get us out of here? - I don't know if I can fix the car.

I'm thinking I could make it drivable, maybe, you know?

And then we could drive into town and tell them what happened.

And that'll be that, right?

Look, you're gonna have to watch me with the gun, man.

I'm not gonna go out there with that fucking dog around.

I need a bath. Jeff's mom has the stupidest ideas.

"Let's get a cabin." So gay.

Hey.

Hey.

Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.

No, it's okay.

I think Marcy made some chili.

I'm not hungry.

All right, then, I'll just let you get back to sleep.

No, wait.

Sta)'-

Fuck!

- Why'd you stop? - Would you fucking shoot him already?

- Come on! - Don't stop!

- Just keep working! - No! Shoot it!

If it gets any closer, I can hit it.

- Fuck. - Just keep working!

My God!

Shit!

Marcy!

No!

- She's got it! She's sick! - Oh, no, she's fucking got it. Shit.

- Guys, I think I'm really sick. - Shit. Stay in your fucking bed, okay!

- Bert, can you help me? - Bert, calm down.

- Let's just... - No! Go! Get the fuck out! Everybody out!

- Okay! - Just get the fuck out, okay!

- Bert, please... - Stay in your fucking bed!

- I'm bleeding! - Get the fuck out! Just get out!

- Calm down! - Can I go to the bathroom, please?

Listen, you fucking bitch,

-get the fuck back! - Leave her alone!

- What? - Come on! Leave her alone! God damn it!

- What the fuck is your problem? - She's your fucking friend, man!

She's fucking sick! She's not coming near me, okay?

I'm fucking doing this for you! I'm doing it for all you fucks!

- Don't leave me! - Hey, you fucking whore,

the headlights are busted on the car. We can't go anywhere.

- Ben! - Goddamn whore!

'Rm just trying to help! - Bert! BETH

- Calm down. Calm down. - God! Okay.

What?

Fuck you guys.

Karen, I'm sorry. We just don't wanna get it.

- I'm gonna die in here. - No, you're not.

- Karen, please. We're going to get help now. - What about that guy's dog?

Somebody's gonna be watching with the gun, okay?

Yeah, we're gonna bolt the door shut.

Somebody's gonna be out here the whole time.

We're not gonna leave you alone.

I wanna go home.

Karen?

Karen.

Come on, Karen. You gotta eat.

Let me know if you need anything else, okay?

Okay?

Better close the door, Marcy.

You don't want to infect everyone.

- God! - What are you doing?

- I'm... My friend, she's very sick, and... - You are very sick!

- Oh, my God, I'm sorry! No, I'm... - That's my wife in there!

My friend's dying. We need a phone, please.

- Get the fuck off my property! - Shit! Okay!

Git!

Where have you been? Did you find anyone?

No.

All right. Come on inside. Marcy made chili.

Nobody's hungry?

- What if Karen used those bowls? - Jesus, Jeff, I washed them.

He's right. I mean, I'm not gonna eat until we get back down to town.

You know, any of you guys could have it.

I know we checked, but I'm not gonna sleep near you guys.

You know, so go sleep in the car, Jeff, and just give us all a break.

The car? That thing's a germ factory. I don't even wanna ride in it.

Would you calm down? I cleaned it, okay?

- Yeah, then why don't you go sleep in it? - Maybe I will, you...

You know what, you're right.

We should probably prepare our own meals.

Who am I? "I'm melting! I'm burning!"

Bert, what's your fucking problem?

You're gonna burn down this whole fucking place!

- What? - You're an asshole!

- You fucking prick! What, bitch? - Bert, stop it!

- Motherfucker... - Bert!

Get the fuck off me!

Shut the fuck up!

Christ, I can't take it anymore.

Our friend's dying out there. She's fucking dying.

And we're in here acting like a bunch of fucking pussies, so for one second,

let's just forget about helping her, strap on some balls,

and help each other, because otherwise, we're all fucking doomed.

- He's right. I was just saying... - Of course, he's right.

- Marcy. .. - Good, good!

We're communicating. See? That's positive.

Just no more yelling, okay?

We can eat alone, we can sleep alone, whatever.

We have to talk to each other. We have to work together.

Bert, you just lost the bet.

Shit!

Okay, Karen, he's gone.

All right, we're gonna stay out here all night for you, all right?

Karen?

Fuck. Okay.

Fuck!

Come on, let's go, everybody! Hurry up! The jeep's running!

Jeff, come on!

- Can you sit up? - Come on, Karen. We gotta go.

I think I have a fever, sort of.

Let's go)!

Come on, Jeff, let's go! Come on, motherfucker!

- All right, put her in the back, okay? - I don't think we should sit next to her.

Fuck off, man. Put her in the front, then.

No, I'm not driving with her sitting next to me.

I'm driving. Just get in the fucking car, okay?

Fine.

Karen?

Karen, you okay?

- God, Karen. - Shit.

We've gotta get her to town. She's gonna die!

She's not going anywhere.

All right. Come on. You guys coming?

What are you, nuts? She just infected the car.

- I'll take my chances, man. - I'm not leaving Karen. I can't.

Bert, you don't look so hot.

I don't feel so hot, either, but, you know, the longer we sit here and fucking argue,

-the more she lies there and rots! - How sick are you, Bert?

- Did that old guy touch you? - Fucking horseshit, man! Come on!

- Well, did he or didn't he? - Fuck this, man.

I'm getting her a fucking doctor!

We should move her back to the shed.

- God, she's bleeding again. - Don't move her.

It's okay, Karen. We're gonna get help.

- Going somewhere? - Anywhere but here.

Here.

Where the fuck do you think you're going? Jeff!

- Just let him go. - Jeff! Jeff!

- Don't fucking come near me! Stop! - Jeff!

Stop! I don't wanna get sick! I don't want any of us getting sick!

But you two fucking fuckers insist on touching her.

Now she's bleeding all over both of you guys.

So you two can fucking rot, but not me, no fucking way! Not me!

Asshole!

Shit!

We're all gonna get it.

We're all gonna get sick, and Jeff's in the woods getting drunk.

No.

Bert's gonna get help. Karen will be fine. I promise.

It's like being on a plane when you know it's gonna crash.

Everyone around you is screaming and yelling,

"We're going down, we're going down!"

All you really wanna do is grab the person next to you

and fuck the shit out of them 'cause

you know you're gonna be dead soon anyway.

- You don't use condoms? - Don't worry. I'm healthy.

Fuck!

Hello? Somebody help! Hello?

What the hell happened to you?

- My friend, she's sick. - You don't look so good.

I know. Just... There's this disease. I think all my friends are getting it.

Do you just know where a hospital is around or something?

Yeah. Stay right there. Don't come any closer.

- I'll get a doctor. - Thanks.

- Pancakes! Pancakes! - No pancakes.

- Pancakes! - No pancakes!

Dennis, Dennis! I told you to stay on the swing!

Dennis! Dennis!

Fuck!

God damn it! What pancakes? Fuck!

- Why'd you come here? - Listen...

- Now, look what you done. - I just need a doctor, okay?

What you done to this poor boy? What's he done to you?

I just need a fucking doctor, man!

I already lost one boy. I ain't losing another.

Now, what if the doctors can't fix my boy?

You get my boy sick, it's the same as killing him.

- It's murder. - What?

You being sick, that's your problem.

Now Dennis is sick, that's my problem.

And if I get sick, that's Lucille's problem.

So we got to stop the problem.

We got to stop the problem right now!

Fenster! Rifle!

Fuck you, man!

There're some kids in the cabin. They got a disease.

They just gave it to Dennis.

We'll need the kit.

Jesus, Paul, you really did a number on my back.

I'm gonna go find Jeff, and then we're gonna walk out of here.

What about Bert?

I can't wait for him. I have to get out of here.

Paul, what about Karen? Paul!

Oh, my God. Work!

Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck.

Fucking piece of fucking shit!

Where is he?

Fuck!

Fuck!

Shit!

Up here.

No!No!No!

Help me!

- Bert! - They're coming for you, man.

- Who? The deputy? - No, no. The guy.

- The guy from the store. - Come on.

These kids were trouble the minute they stole from Cad.

My God.

He's doing sacrifices or something.

It's unchristian.

One, two...

Good night, fucker.

Got him.

You killed Tommy's boy, you bastard.

You tell them this wasn't our fault.

That disease. That was here before we got here.

You tell them!

Thanks, Bert.

Jeff! Jeff, it's the water!

Wherever you are, don't drink the water!

Hello?

Jeff?

Jeff!

Jeff?

Fuck me.

Fuck!

Here, have a big beer.

Go on. Drink up.

You got some sexy hair, you know that?

You got sexy shoes, too.

Shit, what the fuck happened to you, man?

The tow truck.

What happened to the tow truck, Winston?

Shit, man. The fucking party man.

I'm so fucking sorry about the tow truck, man.

I sent it there, it broke down,

I had to get a tow truck to get that fucking tow truck.

Man, what do you need. You need a fucking ride?

Yeah. Yeah, a ride would be good.

Winston!

Sh“. - Winston, do you copy?

Yes, sir. I copy. Yeah, I'm still looking for that underage booze party.

You never mind them. We got bigger problems.

Some kids up in a cabin, they're on a killing spree.

There's two, possibly three casualties already.

Now, they are armed and hostile. Do not go anywhere near them.

They got some kind of a skin virus that'll eat you alive,

so if you do see them,

do not hesitate to shoot them on sight. Do you copy?

Yes, sir. Can you just repeat that last part, man?

I said, if you see the kid, you shoot him on sight.

So how about that ride, Winston?

What the fuck, man... You shoot him!

- Hey, man, I can't. - But you heard that walkie-talkie, dude.

And the fucking gun's in the car, man.

I just want to get into town.

Why don't you just fucking relax and grab a beer?

Get away from me, you fucking fruitcake!

- Hey, back off. - You're not going anyplace.

Hey, just party. Let's just party.

- Fuck! - Shit, man.

You can take your shit... Fuck!

What the...

Man, come on, be cool! Be cool!

What the fuck!

- Fuck! - What the fuck!

You fucking idiot!

You just fucked up the whole party, you fucking idiot!

Party's over, Winston.

Son,

we need you to start from the beginning.

What did you say? Is it safe?

Where's Jeff? Did you find Jeff?

How did everybody get sick?

Everybody's dead.

We need to know

where you got this disease.

It was a guy from the woods, and he...

God, he looked like Bert's marshmallow.

He told me he would get a tow truck.

I should have killed him, too.

We're not equipped to handle a situation like this.

Cook County is his only shot.

Fine.

You put him in the car.

I'll take care of him.

Hey, look who's waking up.

It's the fucking party man.

Guess the party ain't over, huh?

You're gonna have a long night of partying, man, I'm gonna tell you that.

A long night.

- Water. - I ain't got no water, man. All I got's a 40.

But if you want some water, I'll find some for you, okay?

You just sit tight, buddy, man. I'll take care of you.

Water...

Holy shit.

They're dead.

My God, they're all dead.

And I made it.

I made it.

God, I made it.

I did it.

I fucking made it.

I fucking made it.

I did it.

I fucking made it!

I knew it!

I knew it! I fucking made it!

I fucking made it!

I made it!

I fucking made it!

You got rid of that other one, right?

Hey, I think there's another one in the basement.

Come on, boys.

Let's do this!

Hey, fellows, it's been a rough morning up here.

Some health people'll be coming by. They have some questions.

Want to know about those kids.

They were out of control up there, but we took care of them.

Well, tell me, have you seen anything of Tommy and Fenster?

Lemonade, mister?

Thanks, son. Don't mind if I do.

That's five cents.

Businessmen.

You almost take after your granddaddy.

Why, they're running me out of my own business,

just stealing me blind, right here on the porch.

Whoa! Now that is mighty fine.

Mighty fine. Grab a cup, boys. This round's on me.

Here you go, all polished and everything.

- Isn't that a beauty? - It's so beautiful, man.

Look at that, honey. Looks like it's brand-new.

- Yeah, man, look, thank you... - Hi, my niggas. How are you?

What's up, nigga? What you doing?

Where you been, man? Where you been?

Snap, I can't do it like y'all do.

- That's a little better. - Man, that's how you do it.