Original subtitles

Captain's log.

The Enterprise is on a recon mission at the outskirts of the neutral zone.

All systems functioning normally.

Now leaving sector 13 for sector...

14.

Mr. Sulu, set a parabolic course that will keep us from entering the neutral

zone.

Sir, a straight line will also work.

Para! Bollock, Mr. Sulu.

Wait.

Elliptical. Aye, Captain.

Captain, I'm getting something on the distress channel.

Minimal signal.

But something.

Can you amplify?

I'm trying.

Elliptical course laid in.

Sounds like vital.

Very faint.

On the main screen.

On screen.

Very interesting.

Looks like an old Federation -type vessel.

Agreed, Captain.

Mid -21st century.

Vessel identified, Captain. It's the Essence Botany Bay.

Initiate contact.

Signal sent. No response.

Gentlemen, who's in the mood for a little history lesson?

The ultimate frontier.

These are the journeys of the Starship Enterprise.

Our mission.

To explore new worlds.

To peacefully unite, blend, and merge with strange new lifeforms.

To boldly arrive again and again where no man has come before.

One female, alien.

Make that two, female.

One male, human.

I'm afraid this one didn't make it.

Captain, vital signs on this one are seriously low.

We need to take him to sickbay immediately.

Okay, Bones.

Scotty, three to beam immediately.

Spot.

Captain? I need you to initiate the simulation protocol on the two female

aliens.

Looking for love, Vulcan?

I'm afraid the question provides its own answer.

Love is an illogical emotion that Vulcans most certainly do not seek.

But lust is universal.

I was dicked in Venus moments after my birth.

My only purpose in life.

Mr. Please man That I do not question however

I Can assure you I am quite immune to the

temptations of the flesh Well, let's see if you're immune to this

Fascinating.

Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Fascinating.

Now tell me, are you tempted?

My

Captain's

orders were to seek intelligence.

That's all.

It is a surprise.

I have no knowledge of such a vessel. You have been suspended for

200 years.

This is the 23rd century.

I must apologize.

I am Khan Noonien Thing, commander of the SS Botany Bay.

May I see your first officer?

Of course.

Captain Kirk will be with you shortly.

Lieutenant McIvers, your expertise as ship historian is required.

Required or requested?

Required. And then later we can discuss special requests.

We have recovered a human from the 21st century.

I want you to make him feel at home.

Talk to him.

You mean interrogate him.

Exactly.

Meet me on deck four.

Cookout.

Spock. Captain. I need you and the two aliens aboard the ship immediately.

I'm afraid only one of them is ready to beam up.

I'm still in the middle of extracting intelligence from the... It

hasn't been easy.

Spock out.

Commander Kahn, I am James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise.

It is an honor to have you aboard as my guest.

Captain, the honor is mine, I assure you.

I was very fortunate to be in proximity of your ship when my capsule

malfunctioned.

I owe you my life.

Don't mention it.

This is Lieutenant Marla MacGyver, our historian.

She would like to defend...

some time with you to help you fill in the blanks, if you don't mind.

I'm sure you have a lot of unanswered questions.

It's a pleasure, Lieutenant.

I'd be delighted to fill you in.

Please excuse me.

I must find some more appropriate clothing.

Am I going to see you later?

Or are you going to keep ignoring me?

I ignore you.

Impossible. You are too much for me.

Commander Kahn, I would be greatly honored if you would join me for dinner.

Your hospitality is greatly appreciated, Captain.

Yes.

Please, sit.

So, I'd like to gather some information about your ship, its mission,

and... And why do you wear your hair in such an uncomplimentary fashion?

It's regulation.

Regulation is such an ugly word.

Yeah.

Soft.

Natural.

Simple.

Commander Kron, please.

I'm here on business.

So am I.

oh yeah oh

yeah

groomed.

Fucking fruit.

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

I wanna get fucked.

Stick that up your fucking ass!

Thank you.

Fuck me!

Get up your ass.

Fuck me.

Oh my god, it's bad, really bad.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Oh.

I don't get it.

Get off!

I am Captain James T. Kirk, and you are aboard the Enterprise.

Where's Khan?

Commander Khan is resting in guest quarters. We made provisions for your

accommodations as well.

No. You must be warned.

Warned about what?

I can't speak freely here.

Women just don't like to give straight answers, do they?

The craving.

It's here.

How long have they been suspended for?

We estimate approximately... Two hundred years.

I have information about your guest of honor,

Khan.

He is not who he appears to be.

I don't understand.

I need you now.

You're quite emotional for a Vulcan.

I have blood fever.

On Vulcan, we call it... Bonfire.

Precisely.

I thought blood fever was exclusive to fucking men.

Strain B -17 also affects some females.

Some females?

Somehow that seems quite illogical.

Just a thought.

Thank you.

It was beautiful walking out of that room.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fuck yeah.

That's my dear little one.

Yeah. I love the pun far.

Hmm.

Just like that tiny little fucking thing. Oh!

God!

Fuck yes!

Keep talking to me like that.

Like I'm gonna fucking talk to you like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you're like a fucking tree. You're like a fucking

tree.

Fuck yes.

Oh!

Yeah,

yeah, don't taste it. Don't taste your fucking sleep. Put you in my bed.

Ugh!

Ah, you dirty little fuckin' bitch.

Amen.

Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

You're squirting me out of your fucking mind.

He was chugging his fucking coffee right there.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah

Please control of this ship.

What?

You heard me.

This galaxy needs leadership.

I will provide it.

Please don't.

Or stay.

But do so because it is what you wish to do.

I'll stay for just a little while.

This act grows tiresome.

Now you must ask to stay.

I'd like to stay, please.

Open your heart.

Will you open your heart?

Yes. Yes.

I need your help to take control of this ship. Will you help me?

Will you harm anyone? How dare you question me?

Will you assist me?

Very well.

This is the PSI -2000 virus.

You will help me get it into the ship's ventilation system.

We will start with the sickbay.

With Dr. McCoy out of the way, they will have no way to stop the virus.

Mr. Dudley.

Only if they don't relinquish control of the ship.

Doctor? Doctor?

Mr. Bell, what's wrong?

My God!

Your pupils!

PFI 2000 poisoning?

That virus was eradicated centuries ago.

Wait.

I remember a study.

Sudden release of endorphins should stimulate the production of antibodies

kill the virus.

Christine,

this may sound strange, but I need you to start to,

you know.

Have an orgasm?

Yes. That's it.

Exactly.

I'm sorry, but it's the only way.

If the orgasm is powerful, it should release enough endorphins to do the

Here. Go down and massage it. For God's sake, use it!

The virus worked.

Sickbay is completely infected.

Very well.

You are a precious ally.

Suited to be a queen.

Mm, con.

Now, I must deal the final death blow.

It worked!

Oh my god doctor, your eyes!

My eyes?

I'm afraid there's no time to wait.

Yeah, use that more.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah.

So, you were unable to get any information from their ship's onboard

Go ahead, Bones.

Jim.

Potentially deadly virus.

PSI. Jesus.

PSI 2000.

I remember reading something about it in the history books.

Spot. Wasn't there some sort of antidote or something?

Can I help you?

I do believe so.

Mr. Scott.

Our guest and I need to beam back to his ship.

There are several items of historical significance aboard.

Well, I am sorry, lass, but you know I only take orders from the captain.

You're taking orders from me from now on.

Excellent.

Now we can spread the virus through the entire ship.

Activated.

Greetings, Captain.

The Enterprise is now contaminated with the PSI -2000 virus.

Surrender and relinquish command of the ship to me, and you will have the

antidote.

This is my only offer.

You have but a few moments to decide.

Thank you, Khan.

I will consider your offer.

Consider nothing!

I can just as easily pilot a ship full of corpses.

Noted. You're a dead man, Kirk.

I will... Who is this peasant who

dares challenge Khan's authority?

Either way, in 15 minutes, this ship will be mine for the taking.

This is going to happen.

God dammit Captain.

You're half human!

Yeah.

Lieutenant, her eye was infected.

What do you have?

Her eyes.

They never actually changed color.

As I recall, the virus is only visible with people with blue eyes.

Hmm.

I've never actually heard of that.

In fact, I myself actually felt nothing before or after the sexual encounter.

Don't worry, Spock.

I won't tell anyone.

Your game is over, Khan. Give yourself up.

This is impossible.

How is it you're still alive?

Simple. You're a delusional sociopath, and therefore highly predictable.

We'll see about that, Captain.

Would you look at that? It's only set to stun for now.

Feed me to my ship or I'll slice your throat.

Goodbye for now, Kirk.

Don't worry.

Our paths will cross again, I'm sure.

I'm going to lay to the party, Mr. Scott.

Hi Lab.

I can assure you, a Scot never late to a party.

Mr. Student, we have some baggage to unload.

Set a course for the nearest Federation detention center.

Elliptical course, Captain?

Surprise me.

I'm sorry about Marta, Jim.

I'm sorry too, Bones.

I'm sorry there's only room in my life for one woman.

And her name is... Enterprise.

There is one thing that still puzzles me, Doctor.

Only one thing, Mr. Spock?

Isn't sickbay sufficiently equipped with endorphin hyposprayers?

Second star to the right.

Yes, Mr. Seuss.

Straight ahead till morning.