Original subtitles

Previously on The West Wing:

Um, can I ask you something? Am I a hooker?

Which one of those kids is Leo McGarry's daughter? That would be me.

You told our boss' daughter that you slept with a call girl?

She was putting herself through law school

under circumstances that were less than good.

Way to go, Laurie.

C.J.: It took me

three hours to confirm there was a picture.

You've got an itch for Sam Seaborn.

I do not have an itch. A little itch.

You're asking me out on a date.

There will be, under no circumstances

sex for you at the end of the evening.

There's a concern... Don't ask C.J.

She doesn't know anything.

Excuse me. I need to go look like an idiot.

President: Galileo 5.

C.J.: Yes, sir.

Galileo 5. Just the name.

Yes, indeed. You can feel the adventure.

They are. NASA's great at naming things.

Mercury, Apollo, Atlantis

The Sea of Tranquillity, The Ocean of Storms.

Good names.

The first time I heard Galileo 5?

The way the imagination immediately...

It reminded me of the way folks in my generation felt

Okay. when we heard "Yellow Submarine."

We really did all want to live in a yellow submarine.

It can't believe they gave you people driver's licenses.

Tell me where we're going again.

Mars briefing rehearsal.

To rehearse. Why?

I said the name. Say the name.

Say it again.

Your imagination, like a child, will explode

with unrestrained possibilities for adventure.

Galileo 5.

You didn't say it right.

I said it fine. Say it again.

Who wrote this intro?

I did.

You're from NASA Public Affairs? Yeah.

You mind if I give it a polish? Is there a problem?

No, it's great. You mind if I change it?

Just the same... I'd prefer if you didn't.

Public Affairs has cleared the text.

If it's going to be changed, I'd prefer if the President changed it.

See, that's kind of what he pays me to do, so...

Look, I don't want to step on your toes.

You don't want to step on mine. We're both writers.

Yes, I suppose, if we broaden

the definition to those who can spell.

Excuse me?

Good morning.

All: Good morning, Mr. President.

This is the crew from NASA Public Affairs.

How you doing? Sir, we're going to run you through

the drill for tomorrow morning.

First of all, you'll be flanked on either side

by the Flight Operations Manager David Narakawa

and NASA Chief Administrator Dr. Peter Jobson.

On either side of them will be Dr. Samuel Thurman

of the Meteorite Analysis Team from the Johnson Space Center

and Dr. Joyce Grey-Sutton

Planetary Geologist from Cal State Northridge.

On these monitors

you'll be seeing the images beamed back from the surface

and on this computer screen, you'll be able to read

the questions being sent in by the kids.

Yes. I strongly urge you...

I strongly urge you... I know.

I strongly urge you, Mr. President

to act as moderator, and pass the questions off

to one of the experts on the panel

rather than answer it yourself.

Yes. Would you like to see some of the questions?

We have questions in advance?

Some of them. Would you put them up?

Katie, a sixth grader

at Green Oaks Junior High School, Austin, Texas, asks

"How old is the planet Mars?"

That's a great question, Katie.

The planet Mars is 4.6 billion years old.

What did I just say? I knew that one.

Nobody likes a know-it-all.

Yes, God forbid

that while talking to 60,000 public school students

the President should appear smart.

That's fine. Just don't show off.

I don't show off.

Stevie, fourth grader, P.S. 31, Manhattan, asks

"What is the temperature on Mars?"

Well, Stevie

if one of our expert panelists were here

they would tell you the average temperature

ranges from 15 degrees to minus-140.

That happens to be wrong.

It ranges from 60 to minus-225.

I converted it to Celsius in my head.

Thank you.

Can I see the intro?

It's up on the prompter.

Ah. "Good morning, I'm speaking to you live

"from the West Wing of the White House.

"Today, we have a very unique opportunity

to take part, live, in an extremely historic event whi..."

Whoa, boy...

How you doing, Mr. President?

Who wrote this intro?

I did, sir.

I'm Scott Tate from NASA Public Affairs.

Scott, unique means

one of a kind.

Something can't be very unique

nor can it be extremely historic.

While we're at it, do we have to use

the word "live" twice in the first two sentences

like we just cracked the technology?

Look... We're also broadcasting in living color, right?

Sam?

Yeah.

He's going to make some changes.

You're going to clear them with me?

Sam: I doubt it.

Write this:

"Good morning. Eleven months ago, a 1,200-pound spacecraft

"blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida.

18 hours ago..."

Is it 18 hours ago?

We're on the air at noon eastern. Yeah.

"18 hours ago, it landed on the planet Mars.

"You, me...

"and 60,000 of your fellow students across the country

"along with astro-scientists and engineers

"from the Jet Propulsion Lab in Southern California

"NASA Houston, and right here at the White House

"are going to be the first to see what it sees

"and to chronicle the extraordinary voyage

of an unmanned ship called Galileo 5."

He said it right.

Josh: I don't understand

how if it's noon in the East and 9:00 Pacific

how it's 2:37 on Mars.

Toby: Well, Mars is a different time zone.

Yeah, it's the 37 minutes I was...

Mars rotates on its own axis

once every 24 hours and 37 minutes.

Ah. Have you seen

this morning's News Report?

Yes. About the green beans?

I didn't see anything about the green beans.

The Milwaukee Journal is quoting an unnamed White House source

as saying the President doesn't like green beans.

That's a pretty slow news day in Milwaukee.

Josh.

It's not going to be a thing.

You guys done? Yeah.

Walk me out.

Leo, ask me how long a Martian day is.

No, I don't think I will.

Toby, do you know how a stamp is chosen? A stamp?

Yeah. No.

You're going to learn. Why?

The Postmaster General needs your help.

Why?

The Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee has...

There's a Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee?

Yes.

Made up of members of the

"There but for the Grace of God Go I" Club.

You want to mock people or you want to let me talk to Toby?

I want to mock people.

The Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee

has recommended to the Postmaster General

that Marcus Aquino be put on the next issue.

You know who he is? No.

He's a former Resident Commissioner of Puerto Rico

and a Korean War hero.

What's the problem?

He advocated statehood, right?

Strongly advocated it.

Give it to somebody else. No.

Please?

This is a public face thing

and the Postmaster General wants your help.

Well, he can wait in a line around the block

while two of my 20 teller windows are open.

Make a recommendation by the end of the day.

Yeah.

What are you smiling at?

Nothing, I just...

Toby got the stamp assignment.

Leo, I might need some help.

Take Josh.

Thanks. Congratulations.

You're choosing the next stamp.

Wow, that happened fast.

687 days? Yeah.

Hey, Carol. Hey, Toby.

A Martian year is 687 days.

Yes. Did you see this morning's News Report?

I'm boning up my Mars. C.J....

He thinks he's so smart just because, you know, he's so smart...

Did you see this morning's...?

Of course I saw the News Report. I highlighted your copy.

You didn't highlight the green bean story.

No, I thought it was best

just to alert Justice Department officials.

"An unnamed White House source..." I read the story.

I just didn't highlight it.

This won't be picked up?

Why not? No.

It's absolutely not a story.

See me in three hours.

See me in three hours. It's not a story.

How many moons does Mars have?

Two-- Phobos and Deimos

the horses that pulled his chariot.

Get out.

Three hours.

Yeah. Carol?

She wants information on green beans.

You have work to do? I'm picking a stamp.

Nobody likes people who know everything.

So I've discovered in my life.

Get me information on green beans.

Charlie: Most of the afternoon's

blocked off for budget meetings.

3:00 is HUD, 3:30 Health and Human Services

4:00 Interior and 4:30 Agriculture.

Good afternoon, Mr. President.

Yeah. What else?

5:00 is a reception for the UAW

and then you've got phone calls from 5:30 to 6:30.

Okay, but then, let's bring the curtain down.

I got a great night planned.

I got two books on Mars and a book on Galileo himself.

I'm going to go to the residence and read.

Sir... Mrs. Landingham?

Yes, sir? Nothing after 6:30.

I'm going to go to the residence and read about Mars

which, while colder and drier, has four Earthlike seasons.

No, sir.

It does.

Oh, I'm sure you're right

but I'm saying no, you won't be reading tonight.

You're attending a concert at the Kennedy Center.

Since when? Mr. McGarry's office put it on your schedule.

Get me Leo.

I was about to tell you.

Apparently, it's important that you go.

Yes, sir. To a concert?

Did Buddy Holly come back?

It's the Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra.

The Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra?

Yes, sir. Leo!

It's in Iceland.

I know where Reykjavik is, Charlie.

I wish I was there right now.

Yes, Mr. President.

The Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra?

I hear they're pretty good.

Why do I...?

Because you canceled yesterday's meeting

with the Icelandic Ambassador.

And I'm being punished. No, sir.

Iceland is considering

defying the ban on whale hunting

imposed by the International Whaling Commission.

They're in danger of joining Norway and Japan.

There's a lucrative international demand

for fresh Icelandic mink whale meat.

Is this is joke? No, sir.

Needless to say, both the State Department

and the Fisheries' subdivision of the Department of Agriculture

feel that we shouldn't do anything

to offend Iceland right now.

Which we did by canceling the meeting yesterday.

Apparently.

So to make up for it, I'm going to see the Reykjavik Symphony.

Yes, sir.

With Ambassador, uh...

Vigdis Olafsdottir.

Okay.

He's very excited to meet you.

I'll give you a thousand dollars

if you don't make me go.

Think of the whales.

Do they vote?

Mr. President. Yeah?

Intelligence briefing.

Send them in. This might be something.

Why?

There was an explosion

in a Russian oil refinery.

Good afternoon, Mr. President. Hey, Jack.

Yes, sir. Charlie?

Gentlemen, please.

There was an explosion?

Well, INTARTASS is reporting

that there's a fire burning in an oil refinery in Kozelsk.

Yeah. That's in the Oblast region?

What's the problem, Jack?

There is no oil refinery in Kozelsk.

Oh, man.

The closest oil refinery

is about 20 kilometers southeast.

It's not a refinery fire?

It's a missile silo.

There was an explosion in a missile silo?

We can't confirm that at this point

but the Russians have 20 SS-19s in the quadrant

and Keyhole has pictures of a column of smoke

emergency personnel on the ground

but no burning structure

and certainly no oil refinery.

If a missile exploded, is it possible it was armed?

Was there a warhead?

We can put together a briefing for you in an hour.

Half hour, Jack.

Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

Aides: Thank you, Mr. President.

Did they think we weren't going to see it, Leo?

It's a Cold War mentality.

If they ask, we could help them.

I wouldn't wait for the phone to ring.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Galileo Galilei...

He sat in a cathedral in Pisa.

He watched a lamp suspended from the ceiling

as it oscillated back and forth.

He used his pulse to keep time

and discovered that the period of oscillation

was independent of the size of the arc.

Then a few years later, he contradicted the theory

that a heavier body falls faster than a lighter one

which took some guts back in 1609

when you consider that the theory he was contradicting

was Aristotle's.

You want a broader theme for the classroom?

Charlie?

I really do.

Have Sam and C.J. come tonight.

I'll be in my office.

Thanks. Yes, sir.

He contradicted Aristotle, Charlie.

He saw the rings on Saturn.

Yes, he did.

Did you need something, sir?

Yes.

What's next?

Deputy Secretary Hallis and the Trap Commission.

They're meeting in the Map Room...

Donna: The process by which a postage stamp enters into circulation

begins with the American public.

What?

Are you even listening? No.

Do you want to do this or not?

I don't. I did index cards.

How many? 87.

Reduce it to three.

Philately's fun, Josh.

I'm sorry. What's fun?

Philately-- stamp collecting.

Okay, be careful how you say that word, 'cause...

Can we work?

Tell me what you know.

The process by which a stamp

enters into circulation

begins with the American public.

Well, that's always our first mistake.

About 50,000 proposals a year are submitted

to the Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee

the acronym for which is...

C-SAC. Dork Squad.

The committee then makes a recommendation

to the Postmaster General-- in this case, Marcus Aquino.

He won the Silver Star for service in Korea.

There are numerous instances listed here of lifesaving valor

and actions well above and beyond the call.

As Puerto Rico's Resident Commissioner

he served Congress faithfully and well.

Let's put him on a stamp.

Let's put you on a stamp.

Okay.

Let's talk about the problem.

Toby...

Two hours and 20 minutes.

Yes. Let me say first that you were right and I was wrong.

And the oddsmakers take a beating.

Yes? When I said before that nobody would pick it up?

Yes. Everybody's picked it up.

And when I said that even if they did

Yes? it wouldn't be a big deal?

It's a bit of a deal. You know where?

In Oregon?

In Oregon. You know why?

'Cause they're a major producer of green beans?

They're a huge producer, Toby.

Green beans--

or snap beans--

represent a significant percentage

of Oregon's annual revenue, but here's the thing.

There's an electoral problem? There's an electoral problem.

We won Oregon by less than 10,000 votes

and we're going to need them.

Yeah.

Good. Okay, well, I'm on it now.

So, you know what?

So, it took me two hours and 20 minutes longer

to figure it out than it took you.

Doesn't make you smarter than I am.

Of course not.

Thank you.

My SAT scores, on the other hand...

I've got to go start spinning

the green bean problem.

Knock 'em dead.

Oh, C.J.... I had fine SAT scores.

The President wants you to go with him tonight to the Kennedy Center.

Why?

He wants to discuss a theme

for the closed-circuit classroom tomorrow morning.

A theme? Yeah.

We're landing a probe on Mars.

Yeah. That's the theme.

He wants to discuss a broader theme

Who else? and he wants Sam, too.

That's it. Oh, Mallory's going.

You, Sam, Mallory, the President

and an Icelandic delegation.

Hang on.

What?

Why not? I can't go.

Yeah? There'll be State Department people there.

I just added a new Deputy.

Most of the people I interviewed were from State.

The Kennedy Center's going to be packed to the Potomac

with people I just rejected.

So is the bar at the Four Seasons.

Leo... Be there. Tell Sam.

Yeah? Carol?

Would you have someone go to my apartment

and pick up my blue Armani

Yeah. and a pair of shoes?

Sam? Yeah?

The President wants us to go to the concert tonight

so we can discuss broader themes for the televised classroom.

Great. Great?

It should be about more than rocks and average rainfall.

Oh, God, does it rain on Mars?

No, but I'm saying...

The White House should develop a broader theme.

That's right, and I think it's incredible

the President's asked the two of us.

It's a privilege, and we should attack

with energy due the moment.

Mallory's going to be there.

I can't go.

God, Sam, I would think that faced with the privilege

of attacking with energy due the moment...

Screw the moment. I can't go.

Well, I'm afraid, as we used to say in my hometown

that's just hard cheese.

That's a real Algonquin Round Table you grew up with, C.J.

Hey, that is, like, the fourth time I've been called dumb today.

I never called her after the picture--

of me and Laurie in the newspaper--

I never called her and she never called me.

No. You haven't spoken since the picture?

What about the shooting? You didn't see her at the hospital?

No. I mean, I did, but... no.

She started seeing somebody.

Sam, did I tell you not to get a crush on the boss's daughter?

Yeah. Don't you have a vegetable crisis to fix or something?

Yes.

Okay.

The warhead didn't detonate.

The SS-19s had just been downloaded.

But you're ready to confirm...

An SS-19 Stiletto

intercontinental ballistic missile

blew up in its silo, yes.

What do you think happened?

Mr. President

every morning at your intelligence briefing

seven days a week, you're told about

the troubling state of the Russian military.

I think you just saw evidence of it.

You think somebody screwed up?

I think either somebody screwed up or a computer did.

You want to know the truth?

I think an early warning

ballistic missile system and the troops who run it

mistakenly detected a bogey

from a flock of Norwegian geese.

Where are we with the Russian Ambassador?

Woman: She's still claiming

it's an oil refinery fire.

Leo, I want you to see her as soon as she can get here.

Thank you, everybody.

All: Thank you, Mr. President.

Leo.

Yeah? Mike.

Would you have the President's

NASA advisor come over?

Yes, sir. Can I tell him why?

We lost the signal from Galileo.

Josh: Yes, but we have to remain neutral.

It's a stamp.

I understand that it's a stamp, but I'm saying

that when it comes to statehood for Puerto Rico

the United States has to remain neutral.

Puerto Rico's in the United States.

Once again, thank you for that review

of fifth grade social studies

but I meant the Federal Government must remain...

Puerto Rico's in the Federal Government.

No, it's not.

They send a Resident Commissioner to Congress.

Who can't vote, but that's beside the point.

What is the point?

Aquino was strongly in favor of statehood.

To put his face on a stamp

would be promoting his beliefs, which we can't do.

Because we have to remain neutral.

Yes.

Well, that's idiotic.

Oh, like it's the first time.

He voiced an opinion, so he can't be on a stamp?

( sighing ): Donna...

Sides have been taken:

Former Presidents, the Speaker

the Minority Leader, they all say

that statehood is in the long-term interest of Puerto Rico

and that as it stands now, 3.8 million American citizens

have been relegated to second-class status.

That's... that's more people than Mississippi.

Mississippi's never minded being relegated

to second-class status.

Oh, you're going to make

your little bigoted Mississippi jokes?

Yes, I am.

Isn't anyone worried

that if they're not given statehood

they'll want independence?

Exactly no one is worried about that. You know why?

Because Puerto Rico is absolutely dependent on U.S. manufacturing

which contributes 40% to the GDP

and accounts for 24% of their workforce.

I don't care. People don't sit still for tyranny.

How is it tyranny?

Puerto Ricans have to register

to be drafted into the armed forces

yet they're not allowed to vote for President.

They're expected to die for a Commander in Chief

they had no voice in electing?

Donna...

We have colonized them. They will rise up against us.

I think we can take 'em.

That's what we said about the British.

We took the British.

You know what I'm saying.

Hardly ever.

Josh.

What's going on?

The know it entered the Martian atmosphere

at 3:01 p.m. Eastern, which it was supposed to.

They know it was on course

traveling at a rate of 15,400 miles per hour

which it was supposed to.

Somewhere during its descent

it was also supposed to release two probes

each about the size of a basketball

firing them deep into the ground

as part of the mission's search

for evidence of water under the surface.

We think if we hit the ground hard enough

we can make it to the center of the planet and find water?

Yeah.

That's not a theory of physics

pretty much disproved by Wile E. Coyote?

The probes were supposed to send a signal back to Earth

through the Global Surveyor Orbiter.

And we haven't gotten the signal.

The last the flight controllers heard from Galileo

was 11 minutes before landing

when all systems were operating normally.

Then it entered what they call a communications blackout period

and hasn't been heard from since.

I know how it feels.

They're trying What are they trying?

the things they try.

I'll give it an hour and then tell Leo

we've got to cancel the classroom.

Donna: Josh!

The stamp. Yeah?

You were supposed to do this, you know.

I delegated.

Yeah.

Donna: I've got more index cards.

C.J.?

I'm late.

Where are you going?

I have to go to the Kennedy Center

and be with people who don't like me.

You can do that right here.

Sorry. We're late.

You're going, too?

The President wants to discuss

broader themes for the classroom.

I don't think there will be a classroom.

The President's holding out hope.

In the meantime, Mallory's going to be there

with her boyfriend, and it's going to be weird

because we haven't spoken to one another since the picture

which was wrong, I know, but I'm not even sure

there was an implied obligation to do that.

Please, let's remember, it's not like we were dating.

It was a flirtation-- we had one date--

and the rest were all with groups of people and, I don't know

I don't even know what dating is anymore.

Well, that's 20 seconds of my life

I'm never going to get back.

Let's go.

Mr. McGarry will be here in a moment.

Yes.

Are you sure I can't get you anything?

No, thank you.

I'll be waiting outside, then.

If you need anything

please don't hesitate to shout my name

which is Margaret.

Yes.

The Russian Ambassador's here.

Thanks.

I left her alone

'cause I think I was freaking her out.

It wouldn't surprise me.

Madame Ambassador.

Leo.

Thank you for coming.

You look handsome, Leo.

Thank you.

You look very nice yourself.

You get more handsome every year

and you're having your suits handmade now.

Nadia, are you hitting on me?

I was sorry to hear about your divorce.

You have a fire in a missile silo.

It is an oil refinery.

These are Keyhole Satellite photographs.

Would you point, please, to the oil refinery in these pictures?

I'm not in a position to comment on matters of national security.

Okay, can you tell me

how an oil refinery explosion would affect national security?

This is really a matter to be taken up

with the Foreign Minister.

I'm taking it up

with the Russian Ambassador to the United States.

Is your country ready to deny

there was an explosion at Sego Silo 14-D?

We know how to deal with these kinds of emergencies.

We have guys who train for it all the time.

Ask us for help.

Do we know what they're playing?

I'm sorry, sir?

The Reykjavik Symphony--

do we know what they're playing

and for how long they're playing it?

It says here "An Evening of Modern Music."

Turn the car around.

The orchestra features 90 pieces

including anvils and castanets.

Turn the car around.

Modern music is cool.

Modern music sucks.

Anything written after 1860 sucks.

"Samuel Barber, Symphony Number 2." Sucks.

"Stravinsky, Variations on a Theme." Sucks.

"Schoenberg, Enlightened Night for String Orchestra." Totally blows.

"After intermission, they'll be performing

the world premiere of a piece..."

Played on teapots and gefilte fish...

...by a new Icelandic composer."

They told me he got so nervous

when he heard you were coming tonight

that he was rewriting the piece until 6:00.

If he wants more time, I'm happy to take a rain check.

I thought you liked classical music.

I do, but this is not classical music.

It is not classical music

if the guy finished writing it this afternoon.

C.J.!

Yes, sir.

A broader theme.

Sam and I'll be talking about it.

I don't get that many opportunities to talk to kids.

Sir, at some point, I'm going to have to pull the plug

to give everyone enough notice.

Yeah, but let's let them work for a while.

Yes, sir.

Where's Sam?

He's inside, hiding from Mallory.

Why is he hiding from Mallory?

Do you really want to know?

Not at all.

I didn't think so.

Man: Hey, Sam.

Man 2: How you doing, Sam?

Pretty good.

Man 3: Hey, Sam.

Hi, Benny.

Hey, Sam.

How you doing?

I'm good.

Good.

And you?

Good.

Excellent.

Can I just say that I was the one who was in trouble.

I was the one under siege.

It was my picture in the paper, and I don't know why

I needed to call you and explain myself.

It was a picture of you and a call girl.

Like there aren't any pictures of you and a call girl.

No, there aren't any pictures of me and a call girl.

Well, that's a crime.

You know, if you'd just picked up the phone...

Yeah, yeah. Who's your boyfriend?

I don't think... What's his name?

His name is Richard Andrewchuk.

There's a hockey player named Richard Andrewchuk.

Well, unless there are two of them...

You're dating Richard Andrewchuk?

Yes, and we're having quite a lot of sex.

What does that mean? I'd think you'd almost have to.

What do you and Richard Andrewchuk talk about?

He happens to be a terribly bright guy.

Well, good, because he's a really bad hockey player.

He's had injury problems this season.

From falling down.

Look, I came over here...

Excuse me.

( whispering )

Thank you.

Excuse me.

I took trombone lessons when I was a kid.

Not much solo music written for trombone

but I wanted to play in the marching band.

The thing was, my arms were too short

to reach seventh position.

One afternoon, during a game

I gave it all I had, and ended up

throwing the slide into the end zone

which was more than I could say for our quarterback.

Would you excuse me just one moment?

Galileo?

No sir, the oil refinery.

Yeah, what?

You're going to need a briefing from the Pentagon.

The explosion occurred while liquid hydrogen was being drained.

( sighing ): Okay.

What about Galileo?

They're working on it.

Okay.

I'll get a statement ready.

Yeah.

Someone was draining hydrogen?

Yeah.

Mr. President? Yeah.

Your box is ready.

Thanks.

President: Please...

Toby Ziegler. Thanks.

You'll need to take it outside.

Yeah.

Charlie: C.J.?

C.J.: They said modern music.

I thought, you know, that meant Jackson Browne.

Jackson Browne is modern?

He used to be.

Yeah. Yeah, look...

Twice a year the White House kitchen staff

has writers come in from the food magazines.

Yeah. They were in last week

Charlie... and I mentioned to one of them...

I said the President doesn't like green beans.

Why? Because he doesn't.

How did you say it?

What do you mean?

What question did they ask?

Is there any food he particularly likes or dislikes?

I said the President likes steaks, lobster, spaghetti, ice cream.

And? He doesn't like green beans.

"Wiggle room"? Did you leave any wiggle room?

What the hell, C.J.-- he doesn't like green beans.

We won Oregon by 10,000 votes.

I don't know how many green bean farmers they have out there

but if there are 10,001, then we're screwed.

This is a serious thing now. C.J....

I'm sorry I mouthed off to the reporter

No, I'm... but you're out of your mind.

Education's a serious thing.

Crime, jobs, national security.

In 18 months, I've been to Oregon four times

and not a single person I've met there has been stupid.

Everybody's stupid in an election year, Charlie.

No, everybody gets treated stupid

in an election year, C.J.

All right, look, just... from now on

there's no food the President doesn't like, okay?

Yeah. I have to take this outside.

Yeah.

C.J.( over phone ): Can you hear me?

Where are you right now?

I'm out in back. I'm on the terrace.

I passed Gary Saunders on the way out. He booed me.

I swear to God, I passed by, he went, "Boo!"

Toby: Who's Gary Saunders?

He's the Deputy Spokesperson at the Department of Energy.

You didn't hire him?

I promoted Simon Glazer.

I promoted from within, Toby.

Anyway, they're hypothesizing

that the thing came down at an odd angle

and that its position might be preventing the antennae

from establishing a downlink.

They say it'll take a few days

to try everything they want to try.

Yeah. Days?

Oh, God.

Look, if this is the worst thing that happens...

No. Tad Whitney is coming over to me.

You interviewed Tad?

Oh, God, he's got me in his tractor beams.

He's walking right over.

Good-bye.

I'm not very good at confrontation.

You have no problem with me.

This time of year

is the water in the Potomac very, very cold?

Yeah, but if you rub chicken fat all over yourself

Don't hang up. it'll insulate.

If it seems like

I'm talking... ( hangs up )

Hey, C.J.

Yeah, okay.

Well, we're going to put those figures

out at the morning briefing and... yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

What was that about?

I... you know, I honestly couldn't tell you.

I saw you come out.

Yeah, there's some stuff going on.

I didn't get the gig, huh?

I gave it to Simon Glazer.

I heard.

I promoted from within.

Yeah.

Promoting from within is very big in my family.

Yeah, I'm surprised 'cause I'm pretty qualified.

In fact, there are a lot of people at State

who thought I was a lock.

You're very qualified.

Yeah, and it wasn't because I'm a man.

Well, no, Simon Glazer's a man.

I suppose.

Hey. And it wasn't because I stopped seeing you?

Tad, it honestly was a matter of Simon...

No, of course, it didn't have anything to do with...

That was... six weeks, five years ago.

Because I thought you might want an explanation as to why I did.

Why you did what?

Why I stopped calling you.

I don't need an explanation.

Believe me, it wasn't because

you were bad in bed or anything like that.

No, I didn't think it was, Tad.

I mentioned it because I know

a lot of women who worry about that.

I don't.

You're good in bed.

I'm great in bed.

How you doing?

C.J....

Tad, you know, I'm sorry you didn't get the job

but there's really no reason to...

You really are going to stand here and tell me

I really am. this isn't personal?

I think it is.

I think it's personal and I think it's unprofessional

and I think people are going to know about this

and I think you've got a problem now.

I have a number of problems today

and you're not close to being any of them.

Well, I was hoping we could be adult about this.

I have to go. You're going to get a briefing

in about an hour. On what?

A Russian missile silo.

Listen, um...

Yeah?

Playing along with this for a moment...

Is there anything I should do

to improve my chances next time around?

Well, when we run for reelection

I'd vote for somebody else.

Can you read the last part back to me?

Josh ( over phone ) "The flight manager at JPL will be working around the clock

until all hope is exhausted." Okay.

I'll give it to Carol.

Yeah.

Is she there?

Yeah. Mallory?

Yeah, she's here. She snuck up on me from behind.

You'd think women would make more noise

with those big high heels, but they don't.

They've got this stealth thing going

which I really ought to be clever enough to...

( tapping )

What was that? Nothing.

She's there, right?

Yeah.

How's she look?

She looks pretty good.

Can you describe what she's wearing?

Yeah, 'cause she's standing right in front of me now.

So you want to get off the phone?

Yeah. Okay.

You know what I think?

What?

I think you're caught between wanting to be mad

and wanting good seats for home games.

I get pretty good seats as it is, Mallory.

I don't know if you've noticed the motorcade I rode over in.

I spoke to my dad.

I'm sorry about Galileo.

They've got a lot of tests they can still try.

How much money is it going to cost to try them?

Don't start with me.

I'm asking as a taxpayer.

It cost $165 million to lose the thing.

How much more money is it going to cost

to make sure you're never going to find it?

I don't know, Mallory

but we certainly won't divert any municipal tax dollars

which are always best spent on new hockey arenas.

No, it's best spent feeding and housing and educating people.

There are a lot of hungry people in the world, Mal

and none of them are hungry 'cause we went to the moon.

None of them are colder and certainly none

of them are dumber 'cause we went to the moon.

And we went to the moon.

Yes. Did we really have to go to Mars?

'Cause it's next. Why?

'Cause we came out of the cave

and we looked over the hill and we saw fire

and we crossed the ocean

and we pioneered the West and we took to the sky.

The history of Man is hung on a time line of exploration

and this is what's next.

I know.

People like you who say that... what?

I said I know.

We're supposed to be explorers.

Then what the hell...?

I just like hearing you talk about it.

You know something...

You get all puffed up.

You're a pain in the ass. Yes.

Anyway... look, about the picture...

Don't worry about it tonight.

You're not pissed?

I'm totally pissed, but I'm saying

don't worry about it tonight.

Sam?

Yeah.

I appreciate that. Thank you.

Yeah.

Hey, Mal.

Hey, C.J.

Let me see what you've got.

This will be for tonight's briefing

but it doesn't include the notes from JPL.

Can I talk to Jason Stark?

Yeah.

Aha!

What you got there?

Precedent? Precedent, baby!

Precedent-- the mother's milk of

you know, making your point and being right.

Okay. The Jewish War Veterans lobbied to get a stamp

even though the criteria prohibits people or groups

whose principal undertakings are religious.

Right, and what happened?

The JWV argued that their principal achievements

have been fighting wars for their country

just like Aquino.

Right, and what happened?

They were denied.

Yes. Okay, that doesn't help me.

No. Look... Hang on!

The Luna Moth has its own stamp.

What's a Luna Moth?

It's a moth, and you don't see

the National Organization of Entomologists freaking out.

No, but I'd pay good money to see that.

Hang on, hang on. Donna...

Aha! Here we go.

The following groups have been issued stamps:

Disabled Veterans of America, United Confederate Veterans

( phone rings ) the American Legion and the black soldiers

who served as buffalo scouts in the West.

Are you going to get that?

I meant, in the 19th century

the black soldiers in the West.

I didn't think we still had buffalo scouts. Josh Lyman.

The guy should be able to be a on a stamp. Okay.

What was that?

The President's back.

Any inspection team will have to include neutral representatives.

Who do you want? The Finns.

I'll take it to the State Department

but they're not going to want

to accept limits on the inspection team.

No one enters our country without our approval.

They'll agree to notification, but not approval.

And I'm going to insist on notification and approval.

In addition, results from the inspection

will remain in the country.

Nadia... Leo, soil samples

carbon residue, photographs and photographic negatives...

Listen... all that must remain

under Russian control.

( door slams )

Your paranoia was a lot sexier

back when you guys were Communists, Nadia.

Mr. President, how good to see you.

From where do you get the nerve

to try and dictate terms on this?

Are you insane?

Your missile regiment

is in a horrifying state of disrepair.

Your best-trained operators have left or died.

The ones you've got aren't paid very much

when they're paid at all.

They don't have enough to train with.

Your ICBMs are well beyond their warranty life.

Not seven weeks ago, you mistook a Norwegian weather rocket

for a submarine-launched Trident missile

'cause the CrossTac information never made it

to the Russian C&C System.

Leo, at the time the SS-19 exploded

it was being drained of its liquid hydrogen

in an attempt by deserting soldiers to-- wait for it--

Steal the warhead?

steal the warhead.

When were you going to tell us about that?

Do you realize how dangerous that...?

Mr. President, you shouldn't be concerned

with the welfare of the Russian people.

Well, I am concerned with the welfare of the Russian people

but that's not what they pay me for.

You guys fall asleep at the switch in Minsk, and I've got

a whole hemisphere hiding under the bed.

How do you not tell us this is going on?

How do you not ask us for help?

We'll not need help finding

the leaders of the black market network that...

Yeah, thanks.

We're sending in NATO inspectors.

The terms are Leo and I were just discussing the terms.

we're sending in NATO inspectors

or he's taking a walk to the press room.

Get your Foreign Minister on the phone.

I really don't know from where you guys get the nerve.

From a long, hard winter, Mr. President.

( murmuring in background )

This is still my office, right?

We have some press things for discussion.

Nothing new from NASA?

They're testing the idea

that it may have turned into what's called a "safe mode."

If it sensed trouble, it's programmed

to turn its systems off to avoid further damage

and wait for instructions from Earth.

Earth's giving it instructions.

It's not responding.

Like my kids. All right.

So that leaves us with the televised classroom

the green beans...

The stamp. ...the stamp

and depending on who those people were

that were standing near me

the possibility of a story about me being good in bed.

Good in bed?

Yes. Why?

Because I am.

Okay.

Green beans.

Let's do a photo-op with the President...

eating green beans.

We can drop in a quote

he's always looking for new green bean recipes.

Josh: Next time we're in California

we'll schedule a pop in Oregon

to make sure nothing burned down.

Yeah, okay. What about the stamp?

Here's the thing: The Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee...

The President doesn't like green beans.

What?

I'm sorry, sir. Nothing.

The Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee...

C.J.: No, I'm sorry.

I said you don't like green beans, sir.

Toby: C.J....

He doesn't enjoy them.

He doesn't think they're bad for you

and he doesn't think the people who make them are evil.

They're simply not his cup of tea.

He doesn't care for them.

Why don't we think the adults of Oregon

will be okay with that if put to them just that way?

And Josh, why do you think that people, adult Americans

why do you think they can't understand

that we can honor a man's contribution

without necessarily subscribing to his politics?

They can understand a lot of things.

People stopped trusting government during Vietnam

and it was because government stopped trusting them.

It's a cautionary tale, Josh.

Okay, I-I was going to say

I think we should put him on the stamp.

Oh.

Okay, good.

Yeah. All right, everybody go away.

We'll call you back when there's a NASA update.

Thank you. Thank you, Mr. President.

Thank you, sir.

What...?

Nothing, I just had...

C.J.?

Did you hear the end of the concert?

I didn't hear much of the concert at all. How was it?

Well, first of all, let's not kid ourselves.

The Reykjavik Symphony can play.

These guys have some serious game.

In this particular case

their talents were tragically misapplied

to an atonal nightmare of pretension

but after intermission...

After intermission?

( exhaling )

They played a piece by a new composer.

At first I wasn't hearing--

I had 19 different things on my mind--

but then I did, and C.J., it was magnificent.

It was genius.

He built these themes, and at the beginning

it was just an intellectual exercise

which is fun enough, I guess

but then in the fourth movement, he just let it go.

I really didn't think I could be surprised by music anymore.

I-I thought about all the times

this guy must've heard that his music was no good.

I've got to write this guy a letter.

Mr. President, about that televised classroom tomorrow...

I'm going to wait up for a while and see if we hear anything.

It's out there somewhere.

It's so close.

I think you should do the classroom either way.

Yeah?

We have at our disposal

a captive audience of school children.

Some of them don't go to the blackboard

or raise their hand

'cause they think they're going to be wrong.

I think you should say to these kids

"You think you get it wrong sometimes

"you should come down here

and see how the big boys do it."

I think you should tell them you haven't given up hope

and that it may turn up, but in the meantime

you want NASA to put its best people in a room

and you want them to start building Galileo 6.

Some of them will laugh and most of them won't care

but for some, they might honestly see

that's about going to the blackboard

and raising your hand.

And that's the broader theme.

I'll say.

I'll be in my office, Mr. President.

C.J....

Yes, sir.

You said it right that time.

I'll be in my office.

Talk to us.