Original subtitles

Previously on The West Wing:

You're Aimsley Hayes. Ainsley, with an "n."

I'm offering her a job.

Where? Here.

My first day is getting off

to a great start.

About to get better.

Who is this?

This is Ainsley Hayes. You're an idiot.

I don't think it's that she's a Republican.

It's that she's a Republican woman and she's good-looking.

Those are three things, when in combination

usually spell careerism...

I think if I have to endure

another disappointment today

from this place that I have worshipped

I am going to lose it.

17 seconds it took her to call us liars.

Why don't you keep your voice down?

What are you doing here? Serving my country.

Sam: Is he meeting with Nancy McNally?

C.J.: No, I want to be very clear about this.

Mr. Konanov, while he's here in Washington

is not meeting with the Secretary of State

or any cabinet-level official for that matter.

He's not meeting with the UN ambassador

or senior aides representing NATO allies

and he's certainly not meeting with the President.

He will be coming to the White House to meet

with some of the President's advisors in the Balkans.

Who's next?... Steve? C.J.!

C.J., Senator-elect Morgan Mitchel

is going to announce on Hardball later today

that he'll seek a seat on the Foreign Relations Committee

and that he'll block a vote on the Test Ban Treaty

and prevent it from coming to the floor.

Yeah. Any thoughts?

We'll have a ratified Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty.

Mitchell says, "Over his dead body."

I think, like all freshmen

Senator-elect Mitchel will discover

that he's one of a hundred and that his power

is considerably more limited than he imagines.

The new Senate will ratify the treaty and we really don't care

what condition his body is in...

C.J.! Danny.

Has the President considered ordering a lame-duck session

so the current Senate can vote on the treaty?

Okay, anybody but Danny.

C.J.-- No.

He hasn't considered it?

I don't know the President's every thought

but there have been no discussions...

That you're aware of. that I'm aware of.

I'd like to know if the President's considered it.

Is that something you can check out

and get back to us on? You bet. Who's next?

Josh: She walked into it. She knows it, too.

Walked into what?

She can't confirm that the President hasn't considered it

unless she asks the President if he's considered it

at which point, he will have considered it.

That sounds pretty stupid.

It was a better-organized thought when it was in my head.

Is she almost done?

She's wrapping up. Let's go.

Has he considered it?

No. Why not?

Why should he?

If he thinks he has a better chance

of ratifying the Test Ban Treaty

with this Congress than the new one... He doesn't.

But if Morgan Mitchel's... Mitchel's not a factor.

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration... No.

How do you change subjects so fast?

Josh...

I mean it-- how do you go from a Test Ban Treaty

and a lame-duck Congress to OSHA?

'Cause I'm me.

Do you know how many people acquire carpal tunnel syndrome?

It shouldn't surprise you to learn that I do not.

600,000 Americans a year.

Do you have any idea how painful it is?

Donna, in the scheme of things, who really cares...

Do you have any idea how painful it is?

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Pain in your forearm. No grip.

You lose the ability to pinch.

People who lose the ability to pinch?

I got to tell you I don't know from where

they summon the will to go on.

You guys are on the wrong side of this.

Aren't you one of "you guys"? Not on this.

C.J.-- I know.

You walked right into it.

There was no other direction to walk.

Now, please, just answer no to this question.

Has the President considered it?

No. Good.

Not that I know of. Josh...

He hasn't. Listen...

What? He should consider it.

He should consider it right now.

Mitchel's not going to get a seat on Foreign Relations.

There isn't a seat open on Foreign Relations.

There's a seat open on Appropriations.

Josh: Kasey'll move?

What's going on?

Kasey wants Appropriations and he has the seniority.

So he'll have to give up Budget.

Which Taglio will jump at it in a second

which clears the way for Newberry in Senate Armed Services.

Newberry leaving opens up Judiciary.

Now who wants to be named Attorney General

under the next Republican President?

Howard Westin. That's right.

So he takes the seat on Judiciary.

Vacating his seat on Foreign Relations.

So there's a seat open on Foreign Relations.

It doesn't mean Morgan Mitchel's gonna get it, right?

Yes, it does. Why?

'Cause nobody else is gonna want it.

Why? 'Cause there's no money it.

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee

has no control over money, so there's no lobbyists

which means there are no fund-raisers.

The Constitution says, "under extraordinary circumstances."

It's a treaty that's vital to national and global security.

What kind of extraordinary circumstances

do you have in mind?

Sam, do you think we have less of a chance

with the new Congress?

I think we have no chance with the new Congress.

And while I've never lived through

a massive nuclear explosion of radiation

decimating all forms of life in a 200-mile radius

I've seen pictures, and I couldn't agree with Josh more in his interpretation

of the "extraordinary circumstances" clause in the Constitution.

Is Leo free now?

In five minutes.

These people are gone. The 106th Congress is adjourned.

12 of them were voted out of office.

This is bad pool-- you go in there and tell the President

to call a lame-duck session and he does

it's going to look like politics.

It is politics. Toby...

Let's see Leo.

What do we tell the 12 people

out there looking for new jobs?

They may not be done with their old ones yet.

It's all budget.

He'll want Appropriations.

And he has the seniority.

He'll have to give up the Budget...

And Taglio will take that.

Which clears the way for Newberry and Armed Services.

Newberry will vacate his seat on Judiciary.

Which means Westin leaves Foreign Relations...

And that's where Mitchel comes in.

Guys... It's like running the country

with Barnum, Bailey and his sister Sue.

( all talking at once )

Is it possible for just two of them to speak at once?

Toby?

That was an hour-and- ten-minute meeting

with Dick Rush, Ed, Marty Beach and Henry Rodriguez.

I've never seen both political and legislative liaisons

so unanimous in a diagnosis.

Leo: They think he should call it?

Toby: Yeah.

Mr. President, we have a better chance

of winning now than a month from now.

Not only that... Sorry. Sam!

Toby.

Not only that

but here's what C.J. can tell the press:

The world is looking to the U.S. to ratify the treaty first.

The longer we wait

the longer it takes other countries to ratify

the closer we get to more unstable countries like Pakistan

developing a nuclear threat.

Leo: Arguments against?

We might lose the vote.

That'll hang around our necks for two years.

The Senate will be pissed off.

That might stall confirmations.

And can I just add that a senator-elect

C.J.-- announcing what committee assignment he'd like--

that's not what the founders would've considered

an extraordinary occasion.

An extraordinary occasion

is whatever the President says it is.

( Josh and Sam talking at once)

President: Charlie!

Yes, sir?

Could I have a couple of aspirins

or a weapon of some kind to kill people with?

Yes, sir.

Leo.

Even when they're here in session

trying to get a hundred senators in a line

is still like trying to get cats to walk in a parade.

What do you want to do?

Let's take the leadership's temperature

on the lame-duck session

and let's also get some kind of nose count

and see where we are.

C.J., leak it the President's considering calling

the Senate back. That is not going to be a problem.

The source is big enough so that they go with it

small enough so we're not tied to it.

Toby, get me a nose count. What else?

The State Department wants permission

to change the terminology from "rogue nations" to "states of concern."

Not now. What else?

Medicare coverage of clinical trials.

Not now. What else?

Fraud awareness for small business owners.

Not now. Anything else?

The four of you wait in my office.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Thank you all.

When does Konanov get here?

In a few minutes.

No high-level meetings, right?

No. Okay.

On the lame-duck session?

Yeah?

You don't want to call this vote and lose.

Yeah, but this could be a window.

Yeah.

We got to see if it's doable.

Yeah.

It could be doable.

Yeah.

You got anything more to say?

Not this minute.

Okay.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Thank you.

Leo...

There's gonna be an editorial in the Posttomorrow.

You're kidding me.

The President's time isn't being used efficiently.

Schedules are abandoned before lunch.

That's four in two weeks.

The west wing resembles a high school yearbook office.

And, I believe, I'm compared to a substitute teacher.

That's ridiculous. No, it's not.

Certainly not based on the display I just saw in there.

So new rules:

You need an answer from the President

you want to brief him, you want him to weigh in--

I want to see a summary on my desk

absolutely no longer than two pages

and I want my initials on it

before you go into the Oval Office.

Two-page summary's gonna kind of cramp our style.

Your style could use a little a cramping.

Are we understood?

That's fine. Yes.

Toby, Sam

take some meetings on the Hill today.

Toby, concentrate on votes

that can be loosened with Stenson gone.

Sam, dangle reservations in front of them.

C.J., start the leak.

Oh, anybody happens to see

Vasily Konanov in the hallways, walk in the other direction.

Yeah.

That's it.

I can't unleash my full potential in a two-page summary.

Listen to me: I'm gonna meet with Fox and Fowler.

Sam, you're gonna go to the Hill.

You think with Stenson gone...?

I think, with Stenson gone, I can get Fox and Fowler to loosen up some votes

that is, if I can ever get them to order lunch off the damn menu.

I've never seen two grown men order lunch like this.

Fox and Fowler loosen the votes

Sam, you're up on the Hill

dropping we'd consider reservations.

It is not out of the realm of possibility

that that meeting gets us eight votes.

Their bosses want to speak to the President, he's sitting by the phone.

So this is not an unimportant meeting.

Just so you know, I also have to take a 22-page position memo

and summarize it in two pages

and it's got to be done sometime today.

You can staff that. Give it to Ainsley Hayes.

I ask Ainsley for help... Get over it.

Okay, but there are gonna be nine different jokes

'cause I asked her for help.

"Reservations," that's the word you're dropping on the Hill.

You don't have to leave the meeting with a win

just say the words. Yeah.

Let's be able to end this day

by telling the President that he's in striking distance

and he should seriously consider the session.

Let's be able to do that.

Where's C.J.?

She's looking for a reporter to leak the story to.

Did you talk to him?

I don't believe it. What?

You guys launched another editorial.

Hey, C.J.-- Four in two weeks.

I don't work for the editorial staff.

Well, that's convenient. Yeah?

You expect me to do nothing about it?

What, you gonna cancel your subscription? Smack me around?

Any reason I can't do both?

Hey, Carol. Hey.

Carol, would you get me the spokesperson

for the majority leader's office?

House or Senate? Senate.

So you guys are considering a lame-duck session.

Who says?

You put in a call to the majority leader's office.

We do a great deal

of business with the majority leader's office.

He leads the majority. He's not in session.

I believe they'll track him down.

Can I say "White House Senior Aides?" No.

"High-level sources inside the White House?"

"Certain sources inside the White House office

of legislative liaisons who declined to be named."

It sounds like I got it from somebody's paperboy.

Take it or leave it. I'll take it.

Anything else?

Nope.

Thank you.

Ken Richmond on line three! Who is he?

He's the spokesperson for the majority leader.

I didn't need him.

See, what I think you don't understand

is that carpal tunnel is only one of many afflictions

that fall under the category of repetitive stress injuries

or RSI, and which are covered by the science of ergonomics.

I'm not in charge of the science of ergonomics.

You're gonna have to ask somebody else who, you know, cares.

You don't have to be in charge of it; OSHA is.

They've come up with a new series of industry standards

and I want to know why the White House isn't implementing them.

Because the SBA says that the cost to small businesses

could exceed $18 billion the first year.

There'll be a huge increase in workmen's compensation premiums

and Republicans find the word "ergonomic" to be silly.

If we backed off of everything

because of words the Republicans found silly

we'd have a lot of pregnant teenagers and no health care.

We do have a lot of pregnant teenagers and no health care.

So how's your plan working out so far?

Charlie: Josh?

Hang on.

I don't think this can wait.

Vasily Konanov is here.

I can't see him; make sure he's not in the bullpen.

He's not. He's in the driveway.

What do you mean?

He's sitting in the car in the driveway.

He's refusing to get out unless he can speak to the President.

This is a joke? No.

He's sitting in the driveway? Josh, they're saying...

What?

They're saying he's drunk.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Excuse me. Yes?

This is your office.

Yes.

It's very nice here. Thank you.

You can see sunlight, and you have a window

that can be opened for ventilation.

You want to work?

Or do you want to decorate my office?

You called me?

Yes. I need your help.

Really?

It's not like a big deal, is it?

No, it's sweet that you need my help.

Don't need your help, I'm asking for your help

so let's not make a federal...

Dad, it's me. Sam's asking for my help.

Put the phone down.

Got to go, Dad. I need to help Sam.

You must have had them rolling in the aisles back in Georgia.

I'm from North Carolina.

Wherever it was that you studied baton twirling.

That'd be Harvard Law School.

Yes. So here's the thing.

You need my help.

A favor. Okay.

I have a position recommendation

for the President regarding an amendment to a commerce bill.

This memo's 22 pages long

and Leo's on a streamlining kick.

You want me to summarize your recommendation

and give it to the President.

Yeah, then I want you to skip to Tijuana in a dirndl skirt.

Sam... You're going to summarize it, and you give it to me.

Fine.

Thank you.

In exchange for?

No.

Then my schedule's pretty tight.

In exchange for what?

You're going to the Hill? Yes.

To take meetings on the Test Ban Treaty? Yes.

I want to go. No.

Why? 'Cause.

I'm not going to say anything.

I'm going to spill anything.

I'm not going to get Republican juice on you.

I'm just going to sit there and learn.

What?

From the master, Sam.

I want to learn from the master.

You see, women think that kind of thing works

but it doesn't.

It really does, Sam.

I'll let you come to the Hill.

You'll summarize my memo.

I'll use punctuation and everything.

You might even get extra credit.

Have you eaten lunch? No.

I brought my lunch from home.

That's fine. I ate it already. That's fine, too.

Did you bring your lunch? Ainsley, what the hell...?

Do you think you'll be eating it?

You can't have my lunch.

Meet me in the lobby in an hour.

Okay.

I'm helping her out. You know, she...

Good. We've got a problem.

Konanov.

Is he here?

In a manner of speaking.

Leo?

Yeah.

How you doing?

Good.

Vasily Konanov is in the driveway.

He's drunk, and he won't get out of the car

until he speaks to the President.

And we have a winner.

Are you kidding me?

He's sitting in the car with a woman who I imagine

is either a security attache or a hooker.

Please tell me it's not...

It's no one you know, Sam.

Have you spoken to him?

I'm not allowed to speak to him.

I walked by the car a couple times

to see what was what.

Leo, we got to move him.

Tourists are going to start to ask questions

and Boris and Natasha are going to answer them.

You now have permission to talk to him.

Put him in an office, dry him out

and explain why he can't see the President.

Good.

Try to avoid the Situation Room.

Good safety tip.

What?

I'm going to take Ainsley to the Hill with me for the meetings.

Good. She wants me to teach her a couple things.

Good. She called me the master.

Get out.

Okay.

Yeah, I think the risotto, but I'd like it cooked

with chicken broth instead of oil. Is that possible?

Sure.

And I'd like to substitute

the snow peas for the asparagus.

I'll have the same, but I don't want the squash soup pureed with cream or butter.

In fact, does it even have to be pureed?

Fellas?

I'm just asking.

It's pureed squash.

If it's not pureed, then it's just squash.

Butter's fine.

New York steak and a ginger ale.

Would you like that...? Just cook it.

The rumor's been getting around like a virus.

Is it more than a rumor?

I don't know yet.

Toby, our boss is fishing off the Keys.

Everybody's boss is fishing off the Keys...

Or skiing in Jackson Hole, or watching football...

It'd really tear the President up inside to bring them back

but I want to talk about if he should.

Well, our guy's not going to vote to ratify.

Why not? Same reason he wouldn't before.

We didn't have a vote before. 'Cause you knew you'd lose.

That's right.

What are you saying?

I'm saying, what if there was a vote now without Stenson?

Stenson wasn't what's keeping us from voting for it.

What was?

The voters.

82% of the voters wanted the Test Ban.

Not in our state.

You were guided by the 18% who...

Not in our state, Toby.

82% of the voters, Joe

to say nothing of 150 nations

including Russia, China, Great Britain, France--

four countries you don't often see on the same side.

Fine. Now get North Korea, India and Pakistan aboard.

and we'll have a ball game.

Checked your backyard?

What?

Have you checked your backyard?

What are you...?

The nose count, Toby. I don't think you have the votes

you think you have.

Who did we lose?

Make your calls.

I don't have to make...

Who did we lose?

Make your calls, Toby.

I'm sorry. Did you say that...

Chicken broth

instead of oil, snow peas instead of...

Asparagus. Excuse me.

I don't understand.

It happens.

A member of the Ukrainian Parliament

can just kind of show up?

Well, he had an appointment

just not to meet with the President.

The guy's a little crazy, Leo.

Well, he's just... Yeah, he's crazy

but he's our kind of crazy, so...

Got it. Good.

The girl's not bad-looking.

Go to work.

Think she knows how to kill me?

Yes.

Leo?

Hey, Donna.

Leo, can I possibly talk to you for a moment?

Sure. That's a very nice suit.

Thank you. Is that new?

No. What's on your mind?

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration

would like to do something

about repetitive stress injuries

or muscular skeletal disorders like tendonitis...

or carpal tunnel syndrome.

Carpal tunnel syndrome is, yes, one interesting example out of several.

We can't afford it.

It costs $18 billion, Donna. Type slower.

C.J., what have you got?

The State Department on new vocabulary.

This the two-minute pitch or the ten-minute pitch?

The two-minute pitch.

Go.

Okay, now you threw me off my game.

C.J.? No, I'm nervous now.

I thought if I run over

you're going to have the orchestra play me off.

I'm getting older over here, C.J.

State wants us to change "rogue nations"

to "states of concern."

I say fine. It's a symbolic gesture

with no real consequence.

It gains us points with allies who feel we've been too harsh

and it signals to the seven countries we're talking about

that we're open to taking positive steps in the future

if they initiate reforms.

Any downside?

I'll feel stupid.

I can live with that.

You certainly have so far.

Well, hey, make sure you talk to the President

at the end of the day.

Sure. About what?

Danny Concanon wants access

for a three-part feature.

No.

No? What?

No, he can't have access.

Leo, his editorial staff

just jumped up and down on your head yesterday

and last Thursday and the President

twice before that, four times in two weeks.

That's why everybody's walking around with a stopwatch.

He gets no milk and cookies.

Talk to the President at the end of the day

and you'll get another two minutes.

We may be dead already.

What happened? We lost one of our people.

Who? I don't know.

I need some help on the inside.

Is Tony Marino in Philadelphia?

I don't know. I'd like you to call him

and see if he'd get on the train.

I told him. We'll find out who we lost

and can we get him back.

Back up.

We lost one of our people.

Who?

They wouldn't tell me, Leo.

I need you to... Fox and Fowler...

Fox and Fowler wouldn't tell me who we lost.

They just said to check our backyard.

Who the hell...? I don't know, which is why I need to talk to Marino.

It's not hard enough getting new votes. We got to corral...

I need you to talk to Marino.

I need you to call him and set up a meeting with me.

He needs to tell me who jumped the fence.

He needs to help us bring them back.

Toby, the guy lost a bad race bloody.

He's going to want to come back for this.

I think he's going to want to sit down.

Not on the Test Ban Treaty.

He spent four years of his life on it.

Spent a lot longer than that

and it burned him in the end.

He lost his seat.

Leo... The man's done enough.

Obviously, he hasn't.

I set up this meeting, and what's your pitch?

That this treaty he wants so bad can happen.

Not only that, but he can stick it

to every Pennsylvania voter who put him out of a job

and take Mitchell's knees out

before he has time to put his pencils in a jar.

Plus, who did we lose?

He might not know who we lost.

He's been out of town for a month and a half.

He'll know.

If it was anything less important than the Test Ban Treaty

I wouldn't... Margaret?!

Thank you.

Toby.

Messages?

Yeah, but...

Why are my blinds closed?

Yeah. Listen...

( speaking Russian )

Yeah. Yeah, that deserves an explanation.

Right in here, Mr. Konanov.

Errand boys is what they sent me.

I am a reformer

and I will lead the Ukraine and you know this

and they send me errand boys.

As a matter of fact, I'm the Deputy Chief of Staff.

( chuckles )

Actually, it's a very... big...

Never mind.

Mr. Konanov, please understand.

There's protocol.

Your government has a leader we deal with.

You wish to deal with me.

We do wish to deal with you

but right now President Shevkuh...

You called my embassy?

We're in touch with the embassy and the capital.

We're seeking permission to have you speak with Secretary Shaeffer...

I wish to speak to the President.

That's not going to happen

and you damn well know it.

You speak to him in this tone?

He's drunk in my office

and I will speak to him in whatever tone pleases me.

Donna!

( muttering in Russian )

Put two uniformed agents outside my door.

Tell Leo I'm coming over.

Yeah.

Oh, how I miss the Cold War.

Sam: This is my fifth...

Man: Sam...

This is my fifth meeting in a row.

It's my last meeting on the Hill.

I want to know what it's going to take

to get your boss to loosen his grip.

Sam...

If the Senator moves

he frees up eight, maybe ten votes.

He gives political cover to those who...

Why should he move?

Well, we'll go past

it's the right thing to do...

You know, Sam, it's not a holy thing.

You act like if you're against the Test Ban Treaty

then you're bloodthirsty.

Senate Republicans aren't the only ones against this.

Six past Secretaries of Defense, five former CIA Directors...

A former Secretary of State

and a former National Security Advisor.

31 Nobel Laureates, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs

150 countries on this planet

and 82% of the people in this one

say the treaty makes the world safer.

It's not a safer place if North Korea and Iran

are making significant technological improvements

while the President's handing out commemorative pens.

You can't tell me the chance we take

with our ability to verify

isn't outweighed by the chance we take doing nothing.

I've heard all this.

I'm here to ask you this...

Sam...

I'm here to ask you this:

is there no room for movement?

We'd consider attaching reservations.

If you can't trust a man's word

what good is it to put it on paper?

Is there room for movement?

You wasted a trip.

I'll waste more.

We're done?

Yeah.

Ainsley, I'm surprised to see you here.

Why?

Before you were on Bartlet's payroll

you were a vocal opponent of the treaty.

Well, it's President Bartlet.

I'm on the Government payroll.

And I believe that politics should stop at the water's edge.

Okay.

To be honest, I think it should stop before that

but it turns out there's no Santa Claus

and Elvis isn't cutting records anymore.

What is she saying?

See, I don't think you think

the treaty's bad.

I don't think you think it's good.

I think you want to beat the White House.

Yes.

You're a schmuck, Peter.

Today, tomorrow, next year, next term

these guys will have the treaty ratified

and they'll do it without the reservations

he just offered to discuss with you.

Can I take this muffin?

Yeah.

Leo: Margaret.

Yeah.

You got that memo?

Any minute now.

Margaret?

Yeah.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm typing, Leo.

Margaret...

Apparently your response to Donna's perfectly legitimate concern

about the White House not supporting OSHA's recommendation

regarding repetitive stress injuries was "type slower."

Donna has organized most of the assistants in the west wing

to do just that.

Margaret?

Yeah.

Look at my face right now.

Okay.

Leo...

Can you keep your people in line?

Well, there's been no evidence of it so far.

Listen...

Inside.

So what's going on?

Well, I've got The Man Who Came to Dinner in my office.

I'm begging the Ukrainian Embassy for help.

If I don't get some soon

I'm going to apply for a job at the Ukrainian Embassy.

No, here's what we're going to do.

All this guy wants is to be able to say

he met the President while he was here.

He can't meet the President.

He can meet the President accidentally.

How do you meet the President accidentally?

When I was Labor Secretary we did it with the Dalai Lama.

Obviously Beijing doesn't want the President

to have any diplomatic contact.

So they arrange a low-level meeting--

keep the door open, the President wanders by.

"Hey, how you doing, Dalai Lama?"

Well, that's the most

crazy-assed thing I've ever heard.

It works.

This is how the world is run?

Yeah.

I'm sticking to domestic policy.

Yeah, 'cause that has the ring of sanity to it.

Is Toby meeting with Marino?

Toby's on a mission.

It's the right mission.

I know you're not comfortable...

Continuing to exert influence

after the people have voted you out

is an ethically gray area for me.

They all are ethically gray areas. Screw it.

If we're going to have a fighting chance

we've got to invite Marino.

Marino's going to want in because...

Marino's a street kid and lives for revenge.

I was going to say because Marino's devoted to the issue.

Also we may have lost one of our guys.

Who?

Toby's going to ask Marino.

Hey, Norma Rae

get in here.

The man's trying to run the country.

This is a law that would prevent 32,000 to 95,000 injuries a year.

Not here it wouldn't.

Why not?

The White House and Congress

are exempt from the workplace- related laws they pass.

The White House and Congress are exempt?

Yeah.

That makes things considerably easier for yourselves.

Yeah. Josh, set it up.

You've got your 4:00.

I got a job for you.

Congress and the White House are exempt.

Get past it.

What do you need?

I need Vasily Konanov to meet with someone

of absolutely no consequence.

You're my girl.

What the hell are you...

I need you to meet with Vasily Konanov.

Why?

So the President can drop in and interrupt you.

Are you kidding me? No.

So I'm a beard. Yes.

I'm being used. Yes.

As a dupe. Yes.

How am I supposed to feel about that?

How do you usually feel about that?

Josh...

Donna.

My value here is that I have no value.

You have enormous value to me.

You have no value to Eastern Europe.

Okay, you know what this is?

No.

This is an opportunity. That's right.

This is an audience with a man

who understands the plight of the worker.

Yes.

Or do you think because he's a reformer

he'll understand the plight of economics?

Well, he's drunk and doesn't speak a lot of English

so I don't think he's going to understand much of anything at all.

But set up the meeting and knock 'em dead.

Sam: "Can I have this muffin?"

I think you'll discover that the sharpest remarks

will be blunted by asking for a muffin.

The minute we left that room

those guys were calling their bosses

saying, "They're offering to attach reservations.

Let's jump on it."

I have no problem with that.

You did great with the reservations

and politics stopping at the water's edge was touching.

And then you asked permission to have a muffin.

I was hungry.

How'd it go on the Hill?

Much as you'd expect.

But you know what I think?

What?

I think Ramsey, Roanoke, maybe even Grace

I think they're going to vote for it anyway.

'Cause Tony Marino's going to tell them to.

I just named three Senators that can't get reelected without Labor.

Marino may be out of a job

but he's still going to swing a big bat with the unions.

Toby's meeting with him right now.

Do you think I should give Danny Concanon access for a feature?

Yes.

You're wrong. Okay.

You should. Why?

He's cute.

I'm leaving.

Do you have my two-page summary?

I'm sorry?

Do you have my two-page summary?

Yes.

Could I have it?

Yes.

Thank you.

You reversed my position.

Yeah.

I gave this to you to summarize

you didn't summarize it-- you reversed my position.

I gave it a little polish.

You reversed my position.

It's shorter.

And you reversed my position.

Your position was wrong.

Could you step inside, please?

Sure.

Senator.

How you doing, Toby?

What are you having?

Dewar's rocks.

Appreciate you coming down.

Sure.

The President's thinking about calling a session.

You heard? Yeah.

It was well-leaked.

It's nice we found a use for our particular talents.

Anyway, I had a meeting at lunch

with Joe Fox and Bob Fowler

and they said we may have lost one of our guys

and I wanted to find out if it's true

who was it and is it important?

It's true, and it couldn't be less important.

Who is it?

It was me, Toby.

I don't understand.

They were talking about me.

I don't... Tony, I don't understand.

You've changed your mind?

No.

I don't...

No, I haven't changed my mind.

And I'll do whatever the White House wants

in terms of spadework.

But if you call a session now

I can't vote for it.

Dewar's rocks. Thank you.

Tony...

Toby, I'm a lame-duck Senator.

The people of Pennsylvania voted me out

and Morgan Mitchel in.

He gets a seat on Foreign Relations

we should all kill ourselves.

I'm going to talk to Newberry

about staying where he is and stopping the dominoes.

Senator, there's no reason why...

They voted me out, Toby, largely based on my support

of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty.

Only because Mitchel painted them a picture.

That's not for me to say.

I choose not to assume

that my constituents feel a certain way

because they were duped.

Senator, nobody expects...

you're not expected to...

Nobody expects.

Toby, it seems to me that more and more

we've come to expect less and less from each other

and I think that should change.

I'm a Senator for another ten weeks

and I'm going to choose to respect these people and what they want.

You call a lame-duck session now

and I've got to abstain.

Now, this is the northwest executive entrance

to the White House

and ordinarily I'd be allowed to show you more

but the President's in the west wing right now

and when he's working in his office

we like to keep the area as calm as possible.

Toby: Whole damn world's

flying apart at the equator.

You know that, Bonnie?

This, of course, is my boss, Toby Ziegler.

Why's a test ban treaty so important?

Let me tell you.

In 1974, India set off

a peaceful nuclear explosion.

Indira Gandhi herself said they had no intention

of building a bomb.

They just wanted to know that they could.

20 years later

India sets off five nuclear explosions.

Who gets nervous? Pakistan.

When Pakistan gets nervous, everybody gets nervous.

You know why?

'Cause we're all going to die.

Sam, half of America's workforce

is employed by small business.

That's companies that employ fewer than 100 workers.

I know what a small business is.

Then you know that a third of them fail.

One-third of all small businesses lose money and fail

not because of rent hikes or big chains squeezing them out

but because of why?

Employee fraud.

That's right!

Yes.

What do you say to that?

You reversed my position.

Other than that, Sam.

Other than what you've been saying

for the last hour and a half.

Sam: I can't believe

I'm listening to a Republican

tell me the government

should run background checks and impede business.

I can't believe I'm listening to a Republican.

Could it be that most of the people

you want to fingerprint have darker skin than you do?

Well, not to let the facts interfere with a good story

but 80% of violators are white.

Fraudulent employees are three times

more likely to be married.

They're four times more likely to be men

16 times more likely to be managers and executives

and guess what, they're five times

more likely to have postgraduate degrees.

You... listen... I, you know... I can't... all right...

Start from the beginning.

Really? Yeah.

Are you eating that donut?

Take the donut. Start from the beginning.

C.J.: Hello.

Hey, C.J. I'm supposed to see him.

Yeah. There's a meeting in there

but I think they're circling for a landing.

You mind if I wait? No.

Hey, Charlie. Hey, Danny.

Hey, C.J. Hey, Nimrod.

Look, I leaked your damn story for you.

You leaked it for me?

I leaked it to you, pal.

I used you like so much whatever.

Well put.

Charlie, I'm here to see the President.

Yeah, he's finishing up a meeting.

Charlie, Danny's paper--

after savaging us four times in two weeks--

would like access for Danny to write a three-part feature.

About what?

About winning a Pulitzer Prize for writing a three-part feature.

Look...! See, reporters seldom win a Pulitzer.

Feature writers do, and the Post has been getting

a little outpaced in the hardware department lately.

You know me here.

Do you suspect my motives are anything but journalistic?

I'd like to be part of this conversation. ( door opens )

This doesn't have anything to do wi...?

C.J.?

Thank you.

Good evening, Mr. President.

No more rogue nations, huh?

Yes, sir.

Well, that was easy. Sir?

What's doing, Claudia Jean?

Mr. President, the Post would like access

for Danny Concanon to do a three-part feature

inside the Oval Office.

Yeah. Let's do it.

No, I don't think it's a good idea, sir.

Why not?

Sir, after the editorials

they've run the last...

Yeah, they've been way off base.

Not so much the second one

but the first, third and fourth were silly

and the fourth was mean-spirited.

Exactly, so let's send them a message.

Nah. Sir...

First of all, it wasn't Danny.

Danny is their representative.

We have to stop being a punching bag

and they need a wake-up call.

Ah... it's going to look petty and petulant. You know why?

Sir? 'Cause it's petty and petulant.

Nobody elected this newspaper.

Certainly not the 48 million people

who chose you to be President.

Yeah, but not having to run for anything

tends to help with honesty and decisiveness.

Thanks, Charlie.

Send Danny in, would you, please?

Yes, sir.

Mr. President, you have to send them a message.

I really don't, C.J.

Is this personal?

Excuse me? I hear things.

I don't understand most of it, but I hear it.

No, sir, it's absolutely not personal.

He's a great reporter, and you're a great press secretary

and that's why it wasn't going to work

as long as the two of you had those jobs.

Sir, I... I can assure you... Hey, Danny.

Good evening, Mr. President.

I think you guys have had your heads up your asses

for the last few weeks.

I hope you don't mind me saying so.

Of course not, Mr. President.

Not only that, but you've been trying to bait me

which is a waste of time, paper and ink.

I'm like 50 times smarter

than any of you will ever hope to be.

I've got an election to win in two years

and I'm not about to alienate the Washington Post.

Yes, sir. I'll tell you what I will do, though.

I'm canceling our subscription.

C.J.: Excellent, sir.

The White House buys

1,100 copies of the Post every day.

Canceling that subscription should send a message

loud and clear.

No, I meant just mine and Abbey's.

I'll borrow a copy from somebody.

Charlie: Mr. President?

Yeah. Take it easy, Danny.

C.J. will give you all the access you want.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Mr. President.

I got to go tell circulation we lost $32.95.

I know about the job offer.

I figured.

Known about it for a couple of days.

Yeah.

You don't want to be an editor?

I'm a White House reporter.

I know, I just thought by taking a job

outside the press room...

C.J., I have no problem with a reporter

dating a press secretary.

Well... I have a problem, so...

Yeah.

Okay. I'll see you later.

Okay.

See, the keyboard forces users

to put their wrists into a palms-down position

and encourages a sideways wrist twist

to reach the enter key.

That sideways twist is called

an "ulnar deviation," and it's very bad.

It has a right-hand bias

towards the important letter and number keys

and frequently-used keys like enter, shift, backspace, and control

are placed near the weakest finger

forcing the wrist to absorb the added stress of...

What in hell is this woman talking about?

Sir, I'm talking about my government's unwillingness to...

Vasily?

Vasily Konanov?

Why, you're the last person I expected to be

where they told me to go.

Mr. President.

Thank you, Donna.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Vasily?

Yes?

I don't know who this is.

Uh, puhjalsta.

What the hell are you doing?

Mr. President...

I would like to talk to you

about commercial landing rights.

I would like to talk to you

about the World Trade Organization

and I would like to talk to you

about nuclear compatibility.

I'm not the Transportation Secretary.

You will join the WTO when you reduce

the 300% tariff on American cars

and with a nuclear weapon pointed at my head

I will not talk to you about nuclear compatibility.

Mr. President...

Vasily, you're a reformer

and you're going to do good things in Eastern Europe

and I'm looking forward to the day you're President.

But until that day comes

my State Department

deals with the government of the Ukraine.

Now, you can go home

and do exactly what you wanted to do...

which is say you've met

with the President of the United States.

You just have.

How you doing?

Yeah.

For... yeah.

Thank you.

Dr. Zhivago is out of here.

Good. What do you have?

The Commerce Department

wants us to back an amendment to a bill

that would help small businesses

with fraud prevention and employee theft.

We want to recommend it.

You have numbers? Yeah.

This is from an independent study that I have faith in.

30% of workers

plan to steal from their employers.

30% give in to occasional temptation.

Five percent will commit fraud regardless of circumstance.

85% will commit fraud given the right circumstances.

Just out of curiosity, what are the right...?

Need, opportunity

and the ability to rationalize their behavior.

It's called the fraud triangle.

It's going to help us when we want to raise the minimum wage.

It's the small business owners

who are most opposed to wage hikes.

You weren't going to go the other way on this?

Yeah, I was.

You got turned around?

Yeah.

Okay, good.

Thanks. Thanks.

Hang on. I wanted to...

Thank you, Leo.

That was it?

Yeah.

That was it?

Yeah.

I don't understand.

You don't understand what?

What just happened.

Leo said yes. We're in.

I don't understand.

Leo said yes.

That's the end of the meeting.

I was just talking, Sam.

I was just talking to you.

Well, we play with live ammo around here.

You convinced me, I convinced Leo

Leo'll convince the President.

Sam...

It's a short day, Ainsley, and a big country.

We've got to move fast.

And so because I said this in here

the President in there is going to...? Yeah.

You got to tell me when that's going to happen.

Is this how you guys decide to go to war?

I don't know. I'm usually not in the room when they do that.

Sam...

Could somebody get her

a cupcake or something?

Sam...!

Charlie: Mr. President?

Yeah.

Toby's here.

Thanks.

You can take off for the night, Charlie. We're done.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Good evening, sir.

Tony Marino's going to abstain, huh?

Yeah.

He was a great public servant, Toby.

A great senator.

Didn't Edmond Burke say

that a representative owes not just his industry

but his judgment

and betrays you if he sacrifices his judgment to yours?

Yeah, and then he was voted out of office

five years later by the people of Bristol.

That's not the point, sir.

I know, but the fact is

the opponents of the treaty, on both sides of the aisle

you got to respect them, Toby.

They're politicians

and they're flying in the face of overwhelming public opinion.

I have to respect senators

for defying 82% of the American people?

Can I tell you something honestly?

This is one

of those situations

I could give a damn what the people think.

The complexities of a global arms treaty--

the technological, military, the diplomatic nuance--

it's staggering, Toby.

82% of the people can't possibly be expected

to reach an informed opinion.

You want to call a session anyway?

No.

No, if we lose, and we will, we cut off...

Yeah.

( sighs softly )

Anything else?

No, sir.

Thank you, Mr. President.

You know we forget sometimes.

In all the talk about democracy, we forget it's not a democracy.

It's a republic.

People don't make the decisions.

They choose the people who make the decisions.

Could they do a better job choosing?

Yeah.

But when you consider the alternatives...

Anyway, Abbey's in New Hampshire.

You want to come up for a cigar?

The day is over, Toby.

We'll live to fight another one.

Come on up. I'll beat your ass at chess.

You baiting me, Mr. President?

Yes.

( chuckling )

( clears throat )

Okay.

If anybody's out there, I'm signing off.

Have a good night.