Original subtitles

Morning, everyone. Good morning, Arthur Tobin.

I'm just cooking for my beloved family.

Look, I know it's going to take some time to get you through the cameras, but

you just have to do your best to forget that they're here.

Wait, does that apply to everybody? Because I've been working on my gym from

office looks.

Like... That's a good one.

Or like... No, no, no, no. Don't zoom in. And don't cook breakfast in a

Here we are capturing crew.

Is that a turkey?

Oh, boy.

Don't film this. I have an amazing plan for whenever something happens that I

don't want in the movie.

I just tell my phone to play the Beatles because that ain't in the budget.

You know what? I can't stay mad when my favorite Beatles song is playing.

If you want to hug me, better say you love me with a little kiss or two.

Yeah!

All right, a new day, another fresh start with my dudes.

No, I'm sorry. Point is, I'm excited.

Me too, Arthur Tobin. We pull this off, people are going to see me in a whole

new light.

Like they did at the Pharrell's movie.

Did you know he grew up Lego?

And I know we all have slightly different visions for the film. No, no,

you. You know, this could work for all of us.

I just don't want us to come off like J -Lo in her documentary.

Right, no Ben Affleck.

It's a good note.

If you need any help with the old Dockeroonie, I got a bunch of Reggie's

stuff in the basement.

I've actually spent a lot of time organizing the Reggie Dinkins library.

It's got everything from his baby teeth to his wisdom teeth. Well, I mean, it's

not just all teeth, obviously.

You know, there's football stuff in there, too. You know, like the gold

that got knocked out. Damn it. Right. Super. Well, whatever the documentary

up becoming, we will discover it together because the cameras will be

everything, both the highs and the lows.

Oh, you want bad stuff?

Reggie Dinkins will give you plenty of that.

Wait.

What'd I do? You don't even know? That makes it so much worse.

Though it actually did end up being quite useful.

Jesus.

Black. George Washington?

Black. Just deal with it, okay?

Go apologize to Brina for whatever you did. We don't need that kind of drama

right now.

I can't figure out why Brina's mad at me.

There isn't any birthdays or anniversaries on the calendar.

All the toilet seats are down.

I didn't put any empty cartons back in the fridge.

And I haven't liked any full -chested women's posts on Instagram.

I even asked to Auntie Sheila, because Brina tells her everything.

Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you. But let's talk about why you're taking

my niece to that filthy church. You know God don't like no... She was busy.

Ashley?

Are you going to get that?

Oh. Sorry, um, my therapist told me I need to spend less time on the phone.

Okay.

Thank you, Ashley.

Honestly, not a problem.

Okay, um, thank you for this, Monica. I wanted to start with you today in part

because Reggie is, how do I say this, still just doing the most.

Did he wear his tuxedo? He did. But you, I mean, well, let me just say I respect

a contemplative queen.

Uh -huh.

So, you were a Quincy Magoo scholar at Rutgers.

First in your class at the Wisconsin School of Business. But I don't want to

talk to Monica Rees -Dink just yet. I would like to start off today by talking

to little Moni Rees.

Hi, sweetie. Are you excited about all the stuff you're going to accomplish?

I'm not doing baby talks.

But yeah, sure.

I always had big dreams.

If you think by staying quiet, I'm going to start talking just to break the

silence. To be fair, that trick really works on Rusty. Why are you saying

anything?

I hate this. Are you mad at me?

Okay, here's something. When I'm alone, I like to write rock raps. Fine, I'll do

one. I'm a lyrical spiritual miracle on the spherical earth since birth.

Where did you go? Please stop me.

And do I look like Rusty Boy to you?

Um, yeah, well...

Why don't we just get to that for a minute?

Interviews are like jazz.

You have to improvise.

Feel it out.

Like... Wow!

Okay.

You can stop looking at me like that now. Of course.

I got you this.

Here. I'm sorry.

Does this mean you figured out what you did wrong?

I was meaning to you in a dream.

I got you a purse, didn't I? You always get me a purse, or shoes, or you hire

Flo Rida to come and sing while I work out. But you never actually apologize to

me like you mean it.

She's got a point. My dad spent his formative years being told he could do

wrong. At Rutgers, they had to rename an entire building because he kept

misreading the sign.

So he still has trouble realizing when he messes up, but he wants everyone to

happy. So if you're mad at him, he just buys you stuff.

It's dope.

I mean, when my parents got divorced, I got a crossbow.

I was five.

It's not a real apology if you don't know what you're apologizing for.

Here's also a necklace.

Hey, you gotta be a bro. Help me out here.

Find out what I did so I can get out the doghouse.

I don't really want to snitch.

I'll make it worth your while.

Snitches get stitches, yo.

Specifically, these Abloh off lights.

Check out that stitching, huh?

Look, Arthur, you think taking me back to the old neighborhood is going to

release a flood of emotions. It's not.

This place has changed.

This was all empty lots when I was growing up.

This cell phone store, they used to sell landlines. I mean, I barely even

recognize.

Playground.

It looks exactly the same.

How? It's landmarked because Nas lost his virginity on the seesaw.

Do you remember making this mirror? Oh, my God.

Find this place.

I haven't thought about it in ages.

So I talked to your cousin? The nurse of the bitch.

I couldn't get in contact with the bitch, but your cousin Rockfeet told me

about Double Dutch.

Yes.

I used to come to this place every day after school. I was always the jumper,

and I was good.

Ha!

Watch this.

Hey!

And did...

Little Moni Reese ever imagined where her life would take her. In marrying an

NFL superstar, seeing the bright lights of Buffalo, Cincinnati, Jacksonville.

Things change so fast.

That first year in college, Reggie got famous like that.

Right, yes, yes, the famous food poisoning game.

Remember the name Reggie Dinkins, folks? The freshman is leading Rutgers to a

stunning upset over number two Penn State, all while battling severe food

poisoning. Gross, Jimmy. You said it, Brian. Right.

The food poisoning game.

What's that?

Why the air quotes?

Hey, didn't you say earlier you wanted to talk to little Moni?

How little were you thinking?

Hey,

man. Turns out Bikini Crab on Masked Digger was Arnold Schwarzenegger.

How did you know it was me?

TV off.

Bina, please. I cannot handle you icing me out like this. Or dressing like that.

It leads so much to the imagination.

And you know I don't got a good imagination.

Well, you don't deserve to see what's under here.

Look, I know what I did wrong.

And if you're really upset about me starting the dishwasher while you were

eating your breakfast... I guess I'm sorry.

Finally. But God forbid you hand wash your own cereal bowl.

You should be happy I do dishes at all.

I'm rich. I'm old. I don't have to do anything.

So it's really dumb of you to get mad about it. Oh, my God. You are the worst

apologies.

You want me to call Flo Rida? What's the point? No matter how good I apologize,

it's never good enough.

After the whole gambling thing, I begged for forgiveness.

And what did it give me?

Tom's man of the year.

Like when they gave it to Hitler.

Yeah. Yeah, you apologized real good back then.

Reggie, you let a lot of people down.

What do you want to say to them?

I guess I'm sorry if anybody's dumb enough to be offended.

But I ain't doing anything wrong.

You should be happy you're getting to watch me play football.

But I apologize or whatever.

Here you go, baby.

Rose gold hardware. Nice.

That's not much of an apology.

Oh, where are you going?

Where is she going?

And that's one of the better ones.

You told Ann Curry that it wasn't you who gambled. It was the one -armed man.

It worked in the future, this. It didn't. He went to jail.

Fine.

What do you want from me? I said I'm sorry.

And we all know that an apology wouldn't have changed anything, no matter how I

said it.

I devoted my whole life to entertaining you people. Are you not entertained?

Gladiator. Nice.

The only thing this country loves more than a hero is tear one down.

Tiger Woods, y 'all. Can't believe he talked about gambling in 2026 when

everybody has a casino in their pocket now.

Oh, he's talking about your phone, sheep.

And guess what? There's probably a racial component to this. Always a

component.

Subtext, Rusty. Subtext. I'm done apologizing to everyone.

Yeah, you sheep. I'm going to kill you. And they ain't never going to find the

body. Rusty, come on.

Rusty, come on. Rusty, go.

Come back.

Right. The food poisoning game.

The food poisoning game.

Wiggle, wiggle, said the little thingies.

Okay, here's what's up. I feel like my using air quotes earlier has gotten

way out of proportion.

See, I'm one of those people that uses air quotes to emphasize important stuff,

like food poisoning game.

I love my son.

The Supreme Court should have term limits.

See?

This is fun.

Oh, man, the food poisoning game?

Reggie blew up after that. Jim Carrey played him on In Living Color.

It was a different time. Different time. Yeah. Here we go. Let's see if you're

looking for anything specific.

You know, we got everything, man. We got, like, magazines and videos.

Oh, we got the single weird owl released about Reggie.

Food poison.

The two to bell bib to those poison.

That food is poison.

Poison.

Actual poison.

You never trust food that's been out for a while.

Not his best.

All right, Reggie, let's talk about the food poisoning game.

The food poisoning game. Finally, yes.

We can talk about something I don't have to apologize for.

So can you explain why your archive contains seemingly every copy of the

16, 1993 edition of the Penn State student newspaper?

That was a big game.

Monica would always buy up stories about me. Right.

But this paper is from the day of the game.

So the food poisoning game hadn't actually happened yet.

What's up with your fingies?

I had nothing to do with that.

I think... I know what happened, Ray.

Okay, fellas.

Rutgers football freshman prank.

We're going to steal Penn State's mascot.

It's a tiny lion.

Nittany lion, man.

Nittany. What does nittany mean?

Nittany means big. Oh, God!

That's you, isn't it, Reggie?

How did you really get sick that night?

I had to swim across a freezing river just to get away from that damn lion.

I must have swallowed a gallon of Pennsylvania trash water.

Is that game?

It's a part of my heroic origin story, Arthur Tobin.

Why are you interrogating the myth? Instead of being the weekend that

your career, it could have ended it. If you'd been caught, you would have lost

your scholarship. But I did get caught. How did you even... Zoom in on me

dramatically.

Monica.

Young man, no son of mine... Wait.

You don't have a face tattoo.

I sent that text from his phone.

How could you? You know my two biggest fears are Carmela getting a face tattoo

or marrying someone who doesn't understand my vibe. Sorry I had to use

that, son, but I needed to get your mother here to yell at her.

All good.

The hell, Monica?

Penn State was one of the few things in my career I can still be proud of, and

you told Arthur Tobin?

How we're down?

To be fair, she didn't actually say anything, but her air quotes does

too much, me think.

He's a sneaky little punk ass. Does it matter how it happened? It's out there

now. How would you like if I told everybody about the time he dressed as

Pocahontas on Halloween?

It was okay back then, I think.

And you wouldn't even have a career in the first place if it wasn't for me. I

bought up all those newspapers.

I got the negatives from the school paper by giving the photographer my bra.

I actually tracked that guy down. Your bra's in the archives now. This is the

archives' fault!

You know what? You should be thanking me for pulling your ass out of the fire.

If you talk about that luau on our honeymoon, thank you. I am talking about

State and every other day since then. Okay, let's go deeper on that, guys.

up! But yeah, let's.

Yesterday, I was reminded of a time before all this when I was fun and

and didn't get lower back pain from double dutching. Oh, but sorry for

up for the first time ever.

That was a bad apology.

Why she gotta be all dismissive and whatnot?

My feelings matter.

Let's go deeper on that, Reggie. You know, Brina might have felt the same

Let me get there on my own.

Fine, just tell me.

Okay, where's the dumb archive where you keep all of Reggie's stuff? You really

should knock before you just bust in here for so many reasons.

Nudity, the way that I eat, home alone traps.

Hey, okay, come on, be careful.

There's a system here.

We need to get rid of some of this stuff. I don't even know what kind of

you've got in here. Garbage?

You call this garbage?

The mayor of Philadelphia threw this at Reggie during an Eagles game.

Monica, stop.

Great. Let's start with this.

Oh, you wore that to Reggie's first signing meeting.

It was okay back then.

Oh, no, that you could toss. Just a stupid meeting with this old jump rope.

That's filthy garbage. I hate it.

Hey, Bree, look, playing football, all I was ever taught to do was run forward

unless I had to go lateral or backwards to evade a defender or a flea flicker.

One time, the coach made me take a safety just to eat up the clock. Is this

somehow supposed to be an apology?

It's coming.

Let me cook.

Listen, as an athlete, you're taught never to dwell on mistakes.

You make it up on the next play.

But I get it now.

Sometimes when you don't look back, it seems like you don't care.

And I couldn't even apologize, right?

For the nitiniest mistake I've ever made.

Nitiniest? Nitini means big.

What I'm saying is that I don't want to mess up like that with you.

Well, a dishwasher wasn't really that big a deal.

I mean, why is either of us doing our own dishes?

I'm still sorry for all the terrible apologies.

You deserve better.

And I'm done trying to buy forgiveness with gifts.

I know I got to try harder to listen, pay attention, and love you right.

And I know money can't buy any of that.

Thank you, baby.

And Mello, I haven't been fair to you either.

No, no, no, no, no.

Trying to buy my son's forgiveness with concert tickets, sneakers, and shades.

But now I know none of that matters to you.

Nope.

Just your love.

That's right. So from now on, You get real apologies.

I'm really sorry I broke your laptop trying to kill a spider.

Wait, you did what?

That broken laptop?

Could have gotten me a payday.

And why is Brittany even trying to make my dad be like an actual adult dad

instead of a bro with a black card?

What? I hear it.

And I know this is good for us, but I don't have to like it.

Father.

I'm sorry I called you a sneaky little travel -sized punk -ass.

You actually didn't say all of that, but yeah, apology accepted.

Getting used to all this isn't going to be easy.

And digging up the past is scary.

But because of you, I just double -dutched for the first time in 30 years.

Hey, that's fantastic.

What did you say? Nothing. Where did you say?

Jazz.

It's been an interesting couple of days. Reggie actually apologized for, well,

the last 30 years.

And I think he meant it.

He didn't just give me a bag. Not that I mind the bag.

I, however, am still waiting for Monica to apologize for blowing up my Penn

State story.

Here you go, baby.

Oh, nice.

Sweet like bear meat.

Apology accepted.

Hey,

hey, hey. You cannot be here without a kid. That's not okay.

Yeah, sorry. You're right.

It's just that I feel so carefree. It's amazing.

You cannot film kids in a park.