Original subtitles

- Yes? - Are you ready?

I'm undecided, the party's in the after- noon, but will continue in the evening.

What do I wear, the afternoon dress or the one for all day long?

- Put both. - Can I?

I'm suffering and you joke!

- Are you angry? - No.

- Then send me a flying kiss. - Did it arrive?

- Have you thought of me today? - Yes.

- So you know how to think! - Yes.

Come on, I was joking!

I know you were joking, my dear!

- Come quickly. - Yes, I'll be ready right away. Ciao!

Adua, let's close!

- Scissors! - Right away, professor!

Perfume!

That'll be Toni.

Toni!

Toni, it's you, come in.

Let's take my car. We'll go and get my wife too.

What's up with you?

- Nothing. - You look strange.

- Adua, close up. See you on Monday. - Have a nice Sunday, professor.

- Something the matter? - Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing? I don't get it.

We're going to a party, not to a burial...

- Giacinto. - Yes?

- Am I talking to my friend, to the doctor? - Sure, tell me.

- Giacinto... - Come on, say it!

- Giacinto... - Come on, tell me!

- Don't be shy! - I...

...I'm not a man any more.

- Since when? - Don't know. A year, or 8 or 9 months.

Could be your ancestors. But it's no tragedy.

It can be easily remedied, but a year...

And what is the remedy?

Now is not the moment to think. Now we should have fun.

- I'm desperate. - Come on Monday and I'll examine you.

Excuse me, this doesn't seem the moment.

You're right, but you must admit that it's funny.

- How do you handle this with your wife? - You know Ippolita.

At first we did it on fertile days only...

Then we skipped those too, thank God. We haven't done it for 4 years now.

For so long. - But I had extramarital relationships!

Hi, I'm coming!

At midnight we'll go to a new striptease joint, until the wee hours.

Hello! - There she is.

Hi precious. You here? Gasparini!

- You, little rabbit. - Good afternoon.

- How are you? - Hey, you're showing him all!

- But it doesn't matter to one like him! - Giacinto!

- Why are you laughing? - I don't know. And you?

About the girls of this one!

- Madam, it's your husband, hurry up. - Don Schiavon, we already finished!

That's right.

- It's your husband. - Leonardo. - Yes, milady.

Tell my husband that I'll come later with Schiavon, in my car.

Meanwhile we'll go and get Mr. Bisigato.

Right away, milady.

Five hundred.

Some people do charity with checks cashable in 4 months. It's absurd!

Hurry up, they will arrive!

Mind you that they've already arrived!

Tell me, it there was a million in the corner, would you run to grab it?

I've never seen you run.

If it wasn't for me, how would you and the kids live on your salary?

Speaking of which, I've talked with the manager of your bank.

She told me: "The salary of your husband is commensurate with his capacities."

She told me that, even though she's Ippolita's cousin.

Meaning: "Your husband is an ass, and we'll pay him like an ass."

Stand upright, they're coming!

Dear Noemi, how elegant you are!

- Hi, hi! - Osvaldo, greet the "professor".

- Greetings. Do we all get in? - Yes.

- And Ippolita? - She'll be here soon...

- Will she come alone? And who is he? - That's Zaccaria.

With who is he?

With that slut of a Giorgia! Hi, Giorgia! You look beautiful!

- Beautiful! - Let's go, we're going!

- You are a dickhead! - Come here!

This evening I have to close a 7 million deal with Bepi Scodeler.

If you ruin it, I'll kill you!

- So I won't come. - You come and you behave like a lady!

I always behave like a lady!

- Cow! - Cuckold!

- To whom? - To you, and you can believe me!

- Let go, you're hurting me! - Are you sorry?

- Yes. - Say I'm sorry! - No!

"Clear, cool, sweet, running waters..."

"...where she, for me the only woman, would rest her lovely body..."

"...kind branch on which it pleased her...

"...to make a column for her lovely side..."

No, I beg you! Hey, Betty!

Hi!

Hi.

- Hi, Franco. - Hi.

Look who's here! Didn't know that.

Let's go, this car is taken.

- What are you insinuating, viper? - Do you want to fight?

We're going to get her husband.

Sure, you don't owe me an explanation.

Let's go and get our car.

Betty!

Out of the way, fatso!

Hi!

Yes, you think to get some wine, and end up with what your wife might think.

Are you coming? You're invited too.

Hi, beloved wife of mine, my treasure!

With whom are you? Who is he?

Do you like the new harvester? I'll have to pay 800,000 for it, but how?

I'll bring the boys to the village, then I'll come to the party. Bye!

Bye!

Boys, al together now!

He bought the harvester to reap the affairs of his wife!

Halt! 500 liras of super.

700 liras of regular gasoline.

One deciliter of oil and water for the radiator...

...which is hot of course, because the motor is...

- Hot! - It's you, Benedetti!

- Where you going? Can I come with you? - No, I've work to do. Bye.

I was saying...

- Scarabeo, Virgin Mary! - Hey!

- Step on the gas! - "Professor"! Where are you going?

- Halt! - Oh God, Scarabeo!

Halt...

Scarabeo!

Halt!

- Who is it? - Scarabeo.

- Greetings, madam. - Scarabeo, but are you crazy?

- Where are you going? - We only... Where are we going?

Where are we going? Dagli Scodeler.

I was out all day, you must have been looking for me.

You came here on purpose. I don't want to hold you up, Mrs. Ipolita.

In view of my lack of modesty, allow me to show you my car...

...which I'm still driving in. Do you like it? - Very nice!

Gli Scodeler will be happy to see me, above all the Commander.

Holy Mary, the ball breaker came too!

I'm already tired of this party. Clear up the table. Quick, all of you!

- Hurry up! - Papa, don't be foolish.

Who invited him?

First you have to give me the check that the Commander promised me!

Sure, the check for the poor.

Always at your service, lady Ipolita! How much do you want?

100.000 lire. Give it to don Schiavon. Thank you, Commander!

100.000 lire! To don Schiavon! The check!

- Go and greet the host. - Sure, I was just going to do that.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Here you have the check!

Great gesture, my congratulations!

I bought a fridge of the Scodeler brand.

I cannot harm your company. But tell me one thing.

The manual says you have to fill up the filter every now and then.

I've looked up "every now and then" in the dictionary...

Damn, I feel bad! I'm off to bed.

The house full with people, they demand 100.000 and they break your balls!

Six hectares of residential lots...

Ippolita! Let your husband...

...if he cannot... - Give me 100.000 liras for the poor.

The Commander already gave. Now you have nothing to say?

I was thinking I should have poisoned you when I put you the IV.

You'd have saved lots of money!

- Excuse me, I'll give it to you later. - Don't forget. - No, don't worry.

- You, get up, come with me. - What do you want to do?

Behave well.

Change! We have to make sure that Gasparini has a good time, he's very sad.

Come on.

- Let me see the spirit! - What exactly do you want?

Noemi, take care of him a bit, never mind, he's a friend!

Dearest, I didn't see architect Soligo. He's disappeared.

We were just discussing the center-left.

Because I continue to be in loyal opposition...

But what are you doing? You are closing my mouth.

No, I wanted to tell you that Casellato has arrived

and that he want to talk about the center-left and the center-right.

Excuse me.

Who is making this nice joke on you?

The "ball breaker" Scarabeo.

Uh, uh!

- We were talking. - Uh, uh!

Hi, hi!

Excuse me madam, I'll have to depart. Gilda, are you coming.

Mind you dear, Franco Zaccaria is cuckolding you with a friend of yours.

- Hush, your husband is looking at you. - Villain! Pig!

You better mind your own cuckolding. Look at your wife with Gasparini.

- Gasparini! - What makes you laugh so much?

Nothing. There are those who cry and those who laugh.

- Who cries? - Gasparini.

- Shh! - Why? Business? Debts?

- Professional secret. - Look...

- So he's ill. - Nice party, bravo!

- What's his problem? Heart? Stomach? - Water.

- So it's a women's thing! - Oh how nice.

- Impotence! - I didn't talk, you said it.

- He's impotent! - What is...

Lawyer, did you hear the news?

Osvaldo!

Come here.

Happy now? You're despicable!

You didn't tell me yet about that cretin of a Castellan!

Whore! You are my ruin!

I could make you swallow this writing.

- Stop drinking! - Go to the devil!

Capon with black truffles! A real energizer!

- Has my wife come to the party? - I don't know.

Yes, I saw her just know. Look, Betty wants to dance with you.

- Is that right, Betty? - Betty!

- You'll be almost within the family! - I didn't know that. Family?

Then we'll see more of each other!

- Change. - My pleasure!

My wife...

The difference is this: The black truffle is a kitchen seasoner...

...while the white one is eaten raw.

I explained to Benedetti that the truffle is no tuber. You come with me.

Big mistake! Listen to me!

The truffle is a mushroom! Repeat after me, mushroom!

Cristina thinks that a party is only for dancing.

- If she dances with you, I'm OK. - Enough, Giacinto!

- Dance with me! - Please go away.

- This time you don't fool me! - Come on, what dirty words are those!

Why?

Come on, let's go!

Benedetti wants to play "Ramiro", but he's too shy to say it.

- I leave you with my blessings. - I give you my seat.

- No, take don Schiavon's seat. - Come on!

My pleasure.

Good evening.

- You want to know something? - No!

I heard it from Cibaletto, who got it from Zenone...

...who had it from Mazzancolla. Gasparini is...

- What? - That's life, they say!

The song "The reporter from Milan" is very nice.

13-Y.

Here's the house plan, to the East is the forest, to the West the hill...

...to the South the view of the city. - And to the North?

- To the North the Agip refinery. - Listen!

You have no manners! At least you could ask me to dance!

- Dear, we are talking. - Milady, if you want...

Thank you.

Put them in! Bepi, Betty, quick, come here!

Come here!

- Me too! - Yes my dear.

Play all the anonymous letters. I will read them!

Shuffle them. And you go on with the food we'll eat afterwards.

Sit down all of you! Find a seat!

I'll read the first letter.

To Mr. T. G. That must be Toni Gasparini.

- Understandable! - Who sends it?

We are playing anonymous letters, my precious.

I know, but I want to know who wrote it.

Holy Mary!

"Dear Toni..."

Toni, where are you going?

Don't be a bastard, I didn't write it!

Go on, get out of here!

But it's only a joke.

- Come, sit down with us. - No, leave me in peace!

This one is for Commander Casellato.

Right here!

"Quiz with prize: In this room a man and a woman are..."

...courting each other. Who are they? A golden crown for the one who guesses.

Good one!

A man and a women... let's see...

- One is Franco. - Shut up, stupid!

And who is the woman?

Another letter for Gasparini.

No, Toni. Don't do that. Stay here, relax.

It's just to pass some time, and it doesn't affect you nor your wife.

This anonymous letter could have been written by all of us.

- It is below your dignity. - But Ippolita, it's only a game.

Sorry on behalf of everybody.

I'm going.

- Don Schiavon, are you coming with me? - Yes, good evening.

Who is it?

- Who is it? Egisto! - What's happening in this house?

- What happened? - Oh, terrible!

I caught them! Two were under my bed, I caught them doing it.

Pig! I receive you in my house...

What's up? He shouts like crazy.

- We'd better leave. - Yes, let's go.

- What happened? - I don't understand it at all!

Let's go to the "Capannine", international attractions and...

...strip-tease till the wee hours!

After watching, we'll come back. The night is ours.

Where are you going? Ippolita left, just like us.

- See you there! - I don't want to stay that long.

Of course, dear.

- You danced too much. We're going home? - No, go with your friends.

- I can accompany you and the lady. - Buzz off!

Alright.

I'd accompany you, but only to please Noemi, not you.

- But I have no car. - I'll give you the key.

Wait for me! And you, don't be sad, come and consult me on Monday.

Bye, precious. Thanks, Toni!

Let's go!

Hey you, of the house! Wake up!

Be happy!

God have mercy, I always bump into him!

- First class finishing! - Watch your wife, she drinks too much!

Betty, stop drinking!

Come on, stop drinking!

Casellato, come here with us!

Coming.

Always drunk! Hey!

Poor Gasparini! You being a doctor, answer me one question.

Can this happen to anyone, so suddenly?

- I know Gasparini since he was born. - Excuse me, I'm going to the toilet.

Hi there, pretty.

With good weather, I guarantee that work will finish...

Betty, stop drinking!

Sorry if I'm interrupting.

I'd like to talk about Gasparini! Professor...

We all remember the good Gasparini as a real letch.

How is it possible that a real man suddenly loses his way?

For instance in Padova he didn't fail!

I remember that one of the hotel girls, Zoraide...

...spent all afternoon with Gasparini.

The next morning Zoraide told me: "How fiery is your friend".

That was 10 days ago.

What a life this poor boy had! The younger one had two fancy tits!

- Ay, my hair! - 10 days ago?

- Gasparini told me has was 10 months like that! - I can't be 100% exact...

Enough, this is no show for ladies! Pigs!

Hipocrites! All ecstatic! How disgusting!

Right, when you are in that kind of company...

That Giorgetta pretends not to understand!

Leave me alone, nitwit!

If you like naked women, I'm better than many others!

- Look! - What are you doing?

- Leave me alone! - Good.

- I forbid you! - Get her out of here!

- Get off, don't touch me! - Very good!

Hysteria, I can't think of another reason.

No, this is exhibitionism!

That's an ample casuistry of the matter. When Mrs. Zambotti...

...has a crisis, it's like throwing a cat through the window.

Are you with me?

- Did you say 10 days or 10 months? - Who? Gasparini!

But I told you. 10 days ago.

It was the 5th, so it's exactly 9 days ago. Why?

Wake up, you drunkard. Lend me the car!

It's a generation of winos! Get out!

- Why are you pulling his legs? - Don't disturb those who are sleeping!

I have to make an urgent visit, but I forgot my car.

- Help me to get him out. - I'll bring you in my car.

Don't worry about it!

It would be insulting not to help you! My car is fast!

- Faster! - No. I'm breaking it in.

The limit is 18 km in first, 31 in second, 43 in third and 60 in fourth.

- I'm in a hurry! - Who is ill?

It's a professional secret, but I can ascertain it.

Doctor S. M., we all know that he took a bottle of valium. Horrible!

It's a drunk, don't stop!

Disgusting! Veneto region has a high rate of alcoholism!

Get to the right, we have to pass him by.

Doctor S. M. How did he end up like that?

His wife betrayed his for 5 years with an engineer. But that's no tragedy!

We are in Sicily and here stories of all the world are told.

I'm a bachelor, but they also talk about me. I assure you that it's all slander!

But they don't talk about your marital life, because you are careful.

- Speed up and talk less! - My God!

But what is he doing! He's crazy!

He's coming towards us, what's he doing! Careful!

Stop! You're on the wrong lane!

Drunk! We should do like Sweden, not a drop of alcohol during weekends!

- Professor, but... you leave me here? - Let's go, quick, get in!

Disastrous. You've ruined my motor! 50 km at full speed!

Don't leave me here alone!

I have to get my bag. You wait here, I'll be right back.

I don't think so!

Giacinto! Lucky you came back.

You shouldn't have sent me with Toni, he's desperate.

He wanted to wait for you, he didn't want to come in, but he wept.

- He says he's ill. What's with him? - Where is he?

There. Is it a grave illness? I gave him an aspirin.

Did I do right?

Or did I do wrong?

Giacinto!

Sorry that I took the liberty, but I had to do it...

You have to tell me one thing.

Why look at me like that? You want to laugh at me? Look at the state I'm in!

That of Padova is 10 days ago!

- The what? - Zoraide, Padova!

Did Scarabeo tell you? It's not true.

I gave that wretch money...

...for putting up a show in the morning.

Now you understand the complex I have.

You're laughing too?

Not to do that, that's very stupid.

- I don't think so! - Are you depressed? How's the pressure?

- Minimum 70, maximum 40... - 40? - 90!

A vigorizing cure will do. Above all, don't think about that.

Yes, I thank you, because

words can be of help.

- Certainly, love. - Love!

- Would you like a drink? - No, I've bothered you enough already.

- See you for consult on Monday. - Alright.

- I'll be seeing you. - Take it easy!

- My regards to Ippolita. - Yes.

- Tell her I'll call her. - Bye bye.

Bye, see you soon.

How distracted!

I'll kill you!

- I'll kill you, scoundrel! - Hey, my hair!

Did I hurt you?

- Come here! - No!

Shut up!

Not the eyes!

I'll tear out your eyes! I'll kill you!

No!

- Who could that be at this hour? - Shh!

Professor!

- Scarabeo is here! - Are you happy? - What do you want?

The car won't start. How do I get home tonight?

You'll bring me in your car, I hope?

- Don't you have a patient to visit? - Yes, one moment, I'm coming.

Coming!

Hey!

Hey!

We won't talk about you!

It needs to remain a secret!

- Don't touch it, you'll wake her up! - Who?

- My wife, sleeping like an angel. - Strange, with all that shouting.

- What shouting? - I'd swear I heard voices and shouting.

Ah, yes. I was calling that patient.

I got angry because he told me it was a false alarm.

And you wife didn't wake up?

Not if you fire a cannon! Come on, I'll bring you home.

If you'd rather stay, I bring the car back in the morning.

And why should I stay?

You don't want to stay here?

- No. - I thought so!

- Damn! - What are you looking for?

- The keys. - Don't worry, I'll get by.

Joking? You know what we'll do? At our age we do things right.

- We'll walk. - No, it's very far.

There's no hurry! We could watch daybreak, it's a wonderful night.

At this hour you really breathe!

"The garden gate scraped"

"and a step brushed the sand!"

"Oh! Sweet kisses!"

"Oh! Lifeless caresses!"

"While I, trembling..."

"...unfastened the lovely features..."

"...from her veil!"

Watch Giancarla! Neat waist, long legs. God bless her!

- She's wearing a new dress. - New shoes too!

- But the husband has no money! - He has a war pension.

With 11,750 liras a month, I don't think that...

Might be somebody gives her dough!

Look, here comes 'Little beard'!

- Going for another coffee. - Must be his seventh this morning!

No!

No, he's buying a newspaper.

No, the fool goes there!

He's going there!

Can you believe it, he's entered!

- A coffee. - That much coffee will do you harm.

Thanks for caring, Ms. Milena.

I care for the health of all clients.

Well done.

It's correct.

Two Martini in the small room!

A coffee for the accountant.

- Here you are. - Thanks.

- What did you pour me? - A bitter, reverend.

This is no bitter, it's sweet as if it had sugar in it.

- Accountant, your change! - For you, Miss.

Excuse me.

Where are you going?

Watch how they treat you. Big authority, yours.

We never talk. What do I have in the house. A man?

Or a dreamer! Never a word, nor thanks for all that I do.

A woman like Giorgia'd befit you. Filthy women don't talk much.

And your women friends are filthy.

I'd like to serve with Public Morality to hang them all.

Pass me the coffee.

About that with Castellan for that with the gall bladder,

he prescribed me 4,500 liras of medicines.

Though I don't know how one can trust a doctor who always lives...

for the hell of it, always better than a deadly sepulcher like you.

Don't you drink it? Why? To be contrary!

You're going senile, you're not even waking up.

What that face?

Tell me you don't care. Bad mannered you are!

Tell it directly to the servant. Teresa!

Where are you going? Tell it to her face! Teresa!

He says the coffee was horrible.

- Daddy! - Engaged!

- Hurry, I have to go out. - At this hour?

I have to tell you I already gave her permission.

It's your fault Teresa is going.

Says she doesn't want to be servant any more. Who knows what she'll do now!

Might be you can see her at night, at the wall.

You like those women! I have pity on Cristina, the servant.

- Dad! - I don't have enough money.

Cristina came back after midnight...

If you say nothing, you who are her father...

- Evening, Miss Milena. - Oh, it's the accountant.

- You almost frightened me. - I'm sorry.

I passed by, I saw you and thought: "Miss Milena!"

- Allow me to accompany you? - No thanks, don't bother.

It's no bother, I have the car. In 5 minutes I'll accompany you.

Thanks, if you insist...

No, not this one, I left it close by. I'll get it and be back!

I was thinking, you might wonder why I talk so little.

No, no. I like silent men.

It's only my mouth that doesn't talk, but I think.

That might make me look like an unpleasant introvert.

- Don't denigrate yourself. - Thank you.

- Know what I'm thinking? - No.

- I'm thinking of you. - But what are you saying, accountant?

Milena, I don't sleep at night.

You drink too much coffee, I always tell you.

Don't joke, please. Milena, I'm in love with you.

I know your wife, she's distinguished.

She always eats the pasta that we make.

Don't talk about her.

Can I have any hope, Milena?

But what are you saying, accountant?

Don't cry, I didn't want to offend you.

You didn't offend me! You moved me, thank you.

Might be I'm too old for you.

No, age doesn't count if you're really in love.

So, is it because I'm tied to another woman?

No, that doesn't matter either.

If you're really in love.

- Is there another man? - No, there's none.

So, why?

Because I don't want to get hurt!

You're a married man who only wants to amuse himself.

No, Milena! Don't say that!

Milena, I love you. Do you love me, Milena?

I don't know...

Perhaps in time...

I can't lie to myself! Yes, accountant Bisigato!

I love you!

Wait, the keys!

Look at him! If only he'd fought in the war!

He's only going to a meeting!

- How crazy! - A bit more!

No, it'll go to my head. A woman shouldn't drink much.

- Then I won't drink either. - You can drink, you're a man!

- And if it gives me a headache? - Watch yourself, they're watching.

Special reserve, it's on the house!

- Cheers! - Cheers, it'll bring luck!

It'll bring luck!

To your health!

My habit is to rest after eating.

I've thought of renting a room.

But if you don't have that habit, never mind.

- That habit, no... - Eh?

I don't have that habit.

- So you don't want? - No, it's not that I don't want...

Love is beautiful when it's complete.

But those two there, they make me ashamed.

- They're not on the lookout for us. - No, I don't have the courage.

You take the key and go first, I'll come later.

Don't worry about them, they'll think you go to the restroom.

Oh, what shame!

But wait a little, otherwise they'll notice.

Stop!

Come on, boys!

Landlord! There's nobody.

Silent one!

Pecker!

We found you!

- Three glasses of white wine! - I have things to do!

Later! No! Let go of me!

Careful!

- Do we drink to our father? Yes!

- Do we drink to our mother? - Yes!

"And us who are the sons, we drink, drink, drink!"

"On the Greek mountains..."

"A black flag!"

Can I come in?

- Osvaldo! - I'm a disgrace.

They hijacked me.

- Are you angry? - No, Osvaldo. Do you feel bad?

Terrible! My head is turning, I can't stand upright.

I don't dare to look you in the face. To stay here, poor you!

A woman has to be content waiting for her man.

That's true love! Thank you, Milena.

- Am I your man, Milena? - Yes, Osvaldo.

Osvaldo, come a bit closer.

Yes, I'll come closer. But I'd like to sleep.

In the state I'm in, it's better to postpone it.

Yes, yes, it's OK, Osvaldo. Love is beautiful, even if platonic.

I wasn't sleepy and I thought "I'm going to wake up Osvaldo".

- You're very kind. - Are you going to bed without supper?

- I'm not hungry. - Uncover the plate!

- I made you a surprise. - I'll uncover it, but I won't eat it.

Oh! A letter!

- It's for you. - Read it!

A poem! How strange!

"Your husband makes love with Milena, the cashier of the bar"

"He cheats on you all the time, morning till night."

Is this a joke?

To whom is it addressed?

Ah, to you!

But I don't know no cashier. What bar?

Ah? If it were "L'Esperia", that bar on the corner of...

No, in that outfit...

Scoundrel! Filthy pig!

Filthy pig!

I want to tell your children, so that they see for themselves. Pig!

Look at Mr. Shameless!

This is your father. Take a good look!

I'll denounce that filthy... I'll get you in prison, you and that whore!

That's enough!

- Oh God! - Oh God. What?

- Assassin! - Yes?

- Murderer! - Help, he'll kill me!

I'll crush you, I'll slice all of you!

Ay! Mama!

I destroy! I break!

- I tear it all down! - He'll kill me!

- You, get lost! - Oh God, he'll kill me!

Help!

"Beardie", are you drunk?

Drank too much?

A letter!

Your husband makes love to Milena...

...who's the cashier in the bar" - Look, you bastards!

Let me see.

"He cheats on you all the time, morning till night."

- A friend! - Who was it?

Was it you?

No, Gasparini.

Was it you?

It's the handwriting of the lawyer.

Doesn't matter who it was!

Thanks to you all!

You broke the damned chain!

I'm free and I'm in love with Milena! Yes sir!

I invite you all for a drink!

Long live the anonymous letter!

Cheers to liberty!

Slave, go to bed, it's late!

Slave!

Slaves! Long live liberty!

"He's in love!"

- Let's follow him! - Milena!

Free and in love. It's immoral.

Might be immoral, but tonight I'd like to be in his place with Milena.

Yes, to do what? To explain a joke to her?

That's water under the bridge, let go.

That's what you say, but what about the 'Professor'?

- 'Professor'! - What?

Milena!

Milena!

Milena!

- Milena! - Milena!

Milena!

- Milena! - Behave yourselves, please!

Get lost, slaves!

- Is Milena at home? - What are you doing below the balcony?

Sit! Slave dog!

Walk on, vagabond!

- Don't call me a loafer! - You are! Get out!

I have a right to call Miss Milena!

- Get out! - I'm well behaved, I don't make hubbub.

It's those loafers who cause the shouting!

I was only calling Miss Milena. Milena!

- Milena! - Milena!

They'll arrest you!

Miss Milena is a respectable person.

- Milena! - What's happening?

- Good evening. - What are you doing up here?

I'm enjoying the evening breeze.

- Get down. - Will you detain me?

Don't pull jokes on me. Come on!

Bravo, bravo, lock him up!

- Milena! - Silence!

Milena!

- Policeman! - Milena!

But what's happening?

- I'm free! - Shut up!

I'm free!

Free!

- Bye auntie. - Where are you going?

To school.

To your room! Until further notice you're on holiday.

Let's go, quick!

Go!

The kids'll go to the auntie's, they shouldn't be here. Right, don Schiavon?

Certainly!

After 15 years of love... What a blow. Such treason!

- A poor defenseless woman! - Turn to this side!

The priest is not like the doctor, that's why he needs to go.

Sure, sure!

Is Osvaldo there?

No, my husband isn't in. He fled with a whore!

Don't say that to everybody!

He came here at 8:30.

I was cleaning the...

- Shave my beard and mustache! - Mr. Bisigato!

No, not the mustache. Beard and hair! A juvenile and modern cut, hurry up!

Didn't recognize him without the beard.

He got into a Spider 850 like this one.

He signed 18 letters and went off.

There he is!

This morning I waited for him in the bank, like we agreed.

I hardly saw him, I told him...

- Osvaldo, I want to talk with you. - I don't!

Do you want to withdraw, deposit? Check, change?

Bisigato, do you think you behave like a good Christian?

I'm a free Christian!

Please, give this back to my wife, Thank you.

He gave me the ring!

Gilda, stop it, don't do this!

Thanks, Ippolita.

Gasparini called. I thought it was about her of her husband.

Instead, guess who I'm facing?

Mrs. Bisigato!

I want to send him to court! To denounce him for abandoning the marital bed!

Zitta, you stupid! Let's avoid a scandal.

We send him registered mail. "If you don't come back in 24 hours...

...I'll bring it to court." - Fantastic.

Know what I'll do with this registered letter, lawyer?

I can imagine!

Now calm down and let's study the situation.

I send a registered letter to her! I want all suits and shirts!

Shirts, underwear, socks, shaving gear.

...among other things, tomorrow morning.

Here, this, this... and this!

Disinfect it Mother, lest innocent souls should put it on.

Because inside is the devil!

- What? - Is Mr. Bisigato in?

No, my husband has fled with a whore!

Sorry, Mother!

- Allow me, Manager. - Bye dear.

Accountant Bisigato, it's an urgent letter for you.

Thank you.

"If you want to spend a good holiday, investigate your past..."

- Bye Mr. Orlando, I'm off! - Bye Miss, see you.

Osvaldo!

- Hello. - What's happening, Osvaldo?

Nothing.

Come.

- No, this way. - Over the plaza? - Yes.

- Arm in arm? - Yes, filthy pigs!

Look.

Look there.

It's a provocation, I don't no how else to describe it.

The behavior of those two is only to provoke. Right, don Schiavon?

Yes, yes, regrettably.

The poor woman is too ashamed to leave the house while that riffraff...

Calm down Missis, calm down.

Doctor, what do you think about this reproachable event?

- Sincerely? - Yes.

I think you're exaggerating it a lot.

The case is reproachable, like you say,

...but enough is enough. We shouldn't make it a national tragedy.

At bottom they are private matters, don't you think?

But how? An employee of the Catholic Bank, Euganeo...

...which it truly "Catholic"...

...has abandoned the conjugal roof to live with a slut.

That's no private matter to me. You're joking, right, Dr. Padovan?

Sure, I was joking.

That's an error since one doesn't joke about such serious matters!

This causes resentment, Monsignore. It's an ugly matter.

I laughed in order not to cry. Right, don Schiavon?

- Right. - You are his manager.

- So you need to tell him to... - Milady, please.

We're not asking you to leave, don't get me wrong.

God! I'd also get a nice compensation!

That would be a prize, right, Ippolita?

- A nice prize! - I get it. Shut up you!

About his accounts, my cousin Gilda will block them as a prevention.

So other than his little salary, he'll be left with nothing.

You'd only have to coax him back.

Good idea, Monsignore. I'll do it soon.

Although his Eminence is content, he's awaiting your result.

- Director, sit down here. - Margerita!

- Don Schiavon, are you OK here? - Alright. - Thank you.

Accountant, an express letter for you.

Thanks.

- I need to go the men's room. - Sure, Bisigato.

"It's said that Milena, is a whore of great ability..."

"...she had practice and experience in the hotel "Spadoni di Vicenza."

- Osvaldo, it's important! - Right away!

Milena? Oh sorry...

No, listen! The one you're looking for won't come no more.

Hey, Osvaldo, come here a moment.

She's been fired.

Act normally, don't compromise yourself.

What's the poor thing done? I suspected it. You know who did it.

Mrs. Gasparini. You know her, she's capable of anything.

Bastards! The anonymous letter wasn't enough. Look at that.

If you'd know who is that riffraff...

A miserable person, a pig.

But what does it matter? That they may see you two happy!

As if you cared about Milena's past.

At 28 a woman cannot be a virgin.

Vicenza belongs to the past by now!

She's had economic troubles, poor thing.

I didn't see it, but it's well known. Everybody says so.

- Everybody? - Yes.

All bastards like you!

If you say one more thing about Milena, I'll break your head and everybody's.

- Is Miss Milena home? - She's upstairs, packing.

- Milena, it's Mr. Bisigato. - Give him a seat.

- Why she's packing? - The chief of police sent us a letter.

"Rachele Zazze rents out rooms without permit". Disgusting!

What can a poor woman do? They could even evict me!

Hi, Milena.

After the rain it pours. Osvaldo! Good evening.

I feel bad to kick her out. My 8,000 lira also vanished!

Even though that nice husband of mine used it to get drunk!

I'm ashamed. If I go to a hotel, they'll know I was evicted.

Hotels were invented exactly for this, sweetheart.

You can't pass the night in the park.

I'll be alone. If only we could be together.

This cannot go on, my dear. Have patience.

I'm capable of anything, you know well.

- What, are you crying? - No, it's raining.

Swiney cow!

Don't worry. I have so many friends, I'll find one who'll give you shelter.

If not, I'll get 2 hours off and we'll solve this right away.

Come on! Be happy!

Want to party in the afternoon eh? Why? Family matters?

Tell me please. Where is your family?

Careful with your answer! I'll pay attention to spirit and letter!

You're working for the Catholic bank Euganeo!

The "Euganeo" eh... "Catholic" stands out!

With this reminder, I invite you to think about yourself!

My dear friend! Little Johnny whom I've always liked!

Did you understand? By God!

How can you allow yourself?

I don't care shit for the Catholic Bank Euganeo!

- And if you want, I quit right away. - My pleasure.

A man must be strong. But as a friend, I tell you you should wait.

Because you're a good employee and we like you...

...and although I see you're decided I give you some advice.

Your wife wants the court to block your accounts.

We have to be careful! I'll let you prepare your liquidations.

So that when your wife's order comes in, it'll be too late.

I wouldn't want you to be swindled, my dear!

How pretty Ms. Milena is. Happiness to you both!

Give her my regards. See you! Congratulations!

- What do you know about Bastanzi? - They say he lives alone.

- No use to us. - Good evening.

And Castellan?

He has a two storey house, plus de studio in the Via Garibaldi.

The day after tomorrow I'll see a friend, a doctor in Milan...

...and I'll take her to sleep in a hospital.

You with whom you should try? With Soligo.

I don't know why you dare to give me addresses...

...while you have a house with 10 empty rooms!

Sorry, but I have to tell you you're being impolite.

You know I'm a big friend of Gilda. I'm also a friend of Ippolita...

...and you pretend to put me in trouble. It's not delicate on your part!

You don't care about friendship, you're very selfish!

What, are you going? You could say bye bye, bastard!

If you'd go to a hotel, it wouldn't humiliate me.

I don't want to go to a hotel, Osvaldo. No, no and no.

But if it were the "Spadoni di Vicenza" hotel, you'd go!

What do you want to say?

Nothing.

- Osvaldo! - Nothing...

Nothing.

You've had this filth inside all this time!

You are like all the others!

- No, Milena! - Leave me alone!

No, Milena! Wait!

Forgive me!

I'm sorry! Forget about Vicenza and the anonymous letter!

For a moment it felt like jumping into an abyss!

Love didn't allow that, Milena!

My love, sometimes I ask myself whether I deserve you.

Yes!

We deserve a chance!

Stupid not to think of that before! I'll bring you to my mom's house. Let's go!

In this life there's always the mama!

Ugly pig, man of the bad life!

Where's the beauty? Where's the honor?

I'd like to be rich in order to disinherit you!

Bravo, mama!

Henpecked man! This slut in the home of your mother and your single sister!

Get out!

Don't ever come back!

How pretty!

Those eyes! What a doll!

The room is also pretty, and large.

Do you like it, precious?

Comfortable, with its big band and woolen mattress.

It was the bed of my late husband. Try it!

Excuse me a moment, somebody calling.

You at the front door, you and Mancuso go up and you Pelosini, at the window.

Allow me to give some advice?

Let's wait a bit, let's give the adulterers time to undress.

The law is harsh to the man without trousers.

- How nice, it looks like Christmas. - Next Christmas we'll go to Caracas.

I've written my cousin in Venezuela. It's a modern country!

- Find wisdom, accountant! - I could be the cashier!

No, you'll stay at home to be the lady. "The lady"!

It's like a dream!

- How will we go. By boat? - By plane, girl!

How nice!

To hundreds of days like this one.

Now, my gentleman, close your eyes!

- A surprise? - Yes!

Let's go! You have to come with us.

Let's go, hurry up!

Do you have any objection, Miss?

Then sign here.

Here.

Very well.

You can go now, Miss.

- Bring in the other one. - Yes, sir Marshall.

Please!

Mr. Bisigato, you can come in.

Make yourself at home, please come in.

- A cigarette? - I protest!

To arrest us like to murderers. They've arrested me like a criminal!

Calm down! You are guilty of red-handed adultery!

- No, you... - Shh!

Accountant, you and I are men. I understand these things.

If you want a lover, by all means!

But be discreet, don't provoke.

Because otherwise we are obliged to intervene!

Accountant, we'll try to solve this matter.

You go back home to your wife and all will be forgotten...

No, no, I don't want to go home. I'll never go back!

You have abused your authority. I'll go higher up, to your superiors!

- Do I arrest him? - Sorry, but there's no other choice.

While wanting to go up, you will go a long way down.

To the security cell for outrage and intimidation. Take him away!

- Yes sir. - This will not end here!

- Don't touch me! - Shut up!

- Have you heard him? - No!

What should I do? Do you really wish to denounce him for adultery?

Let's leave it be.

It's useless waiting all night. Come on, I'll bring you home.

I beg you, you can trust me.

Let's go.

I have to talk to you.

Get in.

I beg you.

Two cappuccinos to take away and four hot croissants!

Dear Osvaldo, Don Schiavon is right.

If I really love you, I have to get out of your life.

I go with the memory of our happy hours in my heart.

Don't look for me, forget me if you can.

Remember that "against force, reason doesn't hold up".

Goodbye forever.

- Giancarla is wearing new shoes. - New bag as well!

Who is supporting her?

Tell the drunk that Benedetti doesn't like these jokes!

Hey! Look up there!

- A fool! - It's Bisigato!

Yes, it's him!

Move back!

Move back!

Move back!

Quick! Move carefully, but hide yourselves.

Caution, Servono. Shrewdness, psycotechnics.

Osvaldo! Get me the megaphone, quick!

Osvaldo! There's a telegram for you.

I have it in my pocket, it could be important news.

A telegram for you. Here it is, do you see it?

A telegram!

For sure it's important news for you. A telegram, Osvaldo!

Osvaldo! Stop!

Don't do it!

Let go of me! Osvaldo!

Don't do it, come back home!

Do it for me!

- Good luck. - Congratulations.

Daddy!

Do you like them? Trying them on doesn't cost anything.

"For payment and death, one is always on time!" Come on.

I'm always joking, I'm a happy person.

BACK SOON

- What's your size? - 40. - A Cinderella's piece!

I have it in the storage. Come on!

Straight ahead, mind the stairs.

Bad luck! This morning the current is cut all the time!

White as milk, hard as marble, going towards the plaza.

Has two enormous tits, wears silly golden shoes and a hose!

- Is that for your flowers? - The what?

Ah, the hose! No, it's to water the broccoli.

Great, those broccoli! Good for paella and salads.

With oil and vinegar, oil and lemon, salt, pepper and parsley.

Here's the bill. You didn't use the napkin.

- Go and use it! - OK. Here's the change.

Come in. Pleased to meet you!

Excuse me doctor! I'd like something for the stomach, a digestive.

- What's up? Spasms? Indigestion? - I don't know.

Come. I could give you an Alka-Seltzer. Mind your head.

Sorry.

- Yes? Who's this? - Don't let her go. Look after her.

I'll do that right away.

So, miss.

White as milk, hard as marble!

Bye! I'll send her to you right away.

The doctor will visit you, Alda. You can trust him, he's a friend.

Here. Whenever there's a problem, come to me, it's no bother to me!

Still visits at this hour!

"Sweet hugs and languid caresses!"

Uh, uh!

Hold on!

- Good evening. - Good evening.

I have to talk to doctor...

- Castellan. - It's late and there are visitors.

Tell him I'm Cristofoletto Bepi, the father of the girl they call Alda.

Alda?

- No idea. What does he look like? - Like a peasant.

- Looks a bit drunk. - Excuse me, Missis.

Put him in a room and call Giovanni.

- Please, make yourself comfortable. - Thank you.

Miss!

Miss!

Who are you?

Giovanni! Adua!

- We are here, Professor! - How could you let him in? Get him out!

- Come on! - Hold on. This is Alda's hose!

- I have to talk to the Professor! - Get out!

This is proof of the crime!

Get out!

Sorry Madam. He's drunk. He mounted quite a spectacle.

They won't disturb us any more.

Get out!

Go to the devil!

Damn you! An underage girl!

You're blind! She's not even 16!

16 years...

Now, say "sixteen".

- Why "sixteen", professor? - Yes, plus 17, what does that make?

- 33. - Exactly.

Zaccaria, it's me, Castellan. Do you know Alda's age?

She was good looking, young, cool...

Go to hell! She's not even 16, you pig!

16 years! Virgin Mary, we'll all go to jail!

- She didn't look like that! - Yes, but she was! You stupid!

Scodeler, care for a game?

In a hurry!

Stupid! You presented her to me! I'll kill you!

Stop it, are you crazy? Do you want everybody to hear?

No use to fight among us. You don't know what that son of a bitch wants to do.

But it's the word of a drunken peasant against that of honorable citizens.

Even if he tells it all, what can happen to us?

Those people hate to inform. They live outside the law.

Easy now! Talk loud, so that they hear us!

Yes. To happiness! Let's drink!

Congratulations! What's the celebration?

- Him. - No, him.

I'll join you!

- Out, time to go! - Go, bastard!

African slaves! Bedouins!

I'll break the chains, I'll tear it all to pieces!

Scoundrels! Attack!

Till the death!

"So long, Rosa! I give you a kiss..."

"...and go to Argentina with a Vergilia cigar..."

"...of my love!"

Come on horsy!

"Up there on the mountain there is a drinking fountain!"

- Come on, horsy! - Come down!

I told you to come down!

The hose is mine, and proof of the crime. You vile pigs!

- To the guillotine! - Silence!

They raped my daughter!

- What's he saying? - About a daughter who practices...

...speaking with respect...

No respect. She's not even 16!

The wine was good!

It's a matter of honor, let's take him to the station.

"Up there on the mountain..."

- Come on! - "There's a fountain!"

It's a good product, thick skin. But if you don't like it...

Like it...

One "Veramon", sergeant. 40 lire.

- Who's turn? - "Stilla" eyewash.

- "Stilla", for the eyes! - Yes.

"Stilla", for the eyes.

This is the living, with fireplace, we'll kindle it.

Almost 50 square meters of living room.

Lucky we haven't heard more about that girl and her father.

Take note of the static-dynamic structure of those ornaments.

- Where are you going? - Concerns the job!

- Moron! Do you want to waste it all! - Get that brute off of me!

- Shame! - Why do you thinking I'm up to no good?

- Escape and then confess! - But my wife, you know her, right?

And my father too?

We should always be united in the face of danger.

- Together! - Together!

Poor devil!

- I salute you, lawyer! - My dear Gasparini!

- Are you here for the hunting permit? - Yes, and you?

- Me too. And you? - For the fishing!

- Tell me, what did you tell your wife? - That it was for the passport.

Me the hunting permit, but she didn't believe me. She never does.

You're doing OK.

Relax. I recommend not to conspire.

Good morning, Mr. Attorney! My homage and best wishes.

Good morning, lawyer.

Luckily it's judge Scarfiotti, a very understanding fellow.

We're in this situation, but I urge you to deny everything.

You'll be the first to be interrogated.

It will all start with you and everything depends on you.

Deny it all, I urge you.

Deny with confidence. You must be firm like a dike.

Or else it will all collapse. All depends on you!

- Benedetti... - Yes!

Lino, Dino, Pino... Proceed!

Hide the handkerchief! Benedetti, be confident, let's go!

Distinguished attorney, my best wishes.

You have a nice office, Mr. Attorney...

...big, spacious, and even ventilated!

It's really nice!

But Mr. Attorney, there's a girl here.

I didn't want to disturb you.

- If you want I come back later. - No, no, Mr. Benedetti.

- Do you know the girl? - Sorry?

No, no I didn't have the honor. Pleased to meet you, Benedetti.

And her shoes? Do you recognize them?

I know about shoes. Yes, they're of Australian cowhide, "Elisabetta" heels.

An elegant product.

Smooth and sturdy at the same time.

Mr. Attorney, give me the shoe size of your wife...

...and I'll get her a pair in no time. I'll be right back!

A glass of water!

The dike has collapsed.

It's lawyer Maschio. Yes, thank you, I'll hold on.

He went to tell him.

Crazy that persons like us are victims of a manic drunk!

Is this democracy?

Mr. Attorney, my best wishes.

Sorry if I disturb you.

I think that you've understood, after the interrogatory of today.

If you could advance me your conclusions...

Maximum discretion!

Yes, good.

Very good!

Mr. Attorney, I thought so.

No, we never doubted your high sense of justice.

Thank you Mr. Attorney. My best wishes.

He sends it all to the court. Priority proceedings.

- I don't want to see you! - Betty, forgive me!

I'll tear down the door!

- Go! - Don't talk like a lunatic!

I want to let go of it all! I want everybody to see me!

- Let go of me! - Come inside!

- I'll kill you! - Look at me!

- Let go of me! - Control yourself!

- I'll give you a bag of slaps! - Let go of me!

- I'll beat you up! - Help!

- My darling, don't do that! - Such shame!

Everybody in town knows.

They've told so many things about me, but nobody knows it.

But everybody knows about you!

After this incident!

Is you wife not enough for you? Pig, scoundrel!

It wasn't my fault, I was dragged along by Bepi Scodeler!

Ippolita!

Ippolita!

Father, let's be reasonable.

O God!

- Yes? - Mr. Benedetti Lino?

- Yes. - I'm the lieutenant of the carabinieri.

- Yes, tell me! - Be prepared, we'll come to arrest you.

Yes, who's on the line?

The suspects have been interrogated by the attorney of the Republic.

Nothing has transpired thanks to the magistrate's well-known discretion.

It is assumed however that they will face justice...

...for corruption of minors.

We welcome such seriousness.

It guarantees that in our town all are equal before the law...

...even those who we would consider...

Yes, the Independent.

Yes, right away. Scodeler.

The father!

Commander, it's Tosato. How are you? Tell me.

You know that the first duty of a reporter...

Yes, sure.

I'm taking note. Very well commander. That's sensible.

Regards.

- Where were we? - "Also for those who consider themselves..."

...privileged."

In the meantime we hope...

Tosato.

Good afternoon. Tell me!

Yes.

I understand. Don't worry, reverend. I think so too.

Goodbye, reverend.

Gasparini.

Tosato. Mr. Director, it's you! Good afternoon, tell me.

Sure, Mr. Director!

It's done, Mr. Director!

We're awake here, Mr. Director! Always at your service!

- Onorevole. - Yes?

- His eminence is on the line. - Ah! I see.

But I haven't been able to do anything. Tell him I'm not in.

Ah! He's in a meeting! I'll call later, thank you.

- He's given a pretext. - I would have thought so.

Yes? Hold on.

It's Gasparini.

God forgive me! Tell him I'm not in.

He's given a pretext.

They think we're stupid. In the end we'll have to go to court.

Hello.

Here you have the money. Let every one act the same.

- Which money? - 2 million each makes 12 million.

Of course I'm putting yours in.

For the trial, it's a good idea!

Dickhead! It's for Cristofoletto, to convince him to drop the charges.

Or do you want to go to trial?

- You'll all end up in prison. - Perhaps you don't know, lady...

If Cristofoletto and Alda retract, they'll be tried for slander...

...and condemned. I know those drunken peasants well.

For money, they'll do anything. Let me handle this.

Come on, forget about it! Let's take the money and make him a proposal.

- Madam, I'll come with you. - I want to go alone.

- Where's Cristofoletto? - He's working.

- Are you Cristofoletto? - Why?

I'm Mrs. Gasparini, you see?

The wife of that gentleman...

- What gentleman? - You got it.

This is a million.

These are 2 millions.

That poor girl won't find a husband, after what they did to her.

So, what will she do now?

- I'll tell you. - Tell me.

Whoring!

Would you like a drink?

Here's another half million.

Distrustful?

"Better the Pope and the peasant, than only the Pope!"

Another half million. Isn't it enough?

And 5! 5 millions should do it, as I don't have any more.

- Madam, I really like you! - Are you crazy? Let go off me!

Hush, madam!

- Are you crazy? - 5 million is enough for me!

But the poor girl will never find a husband!

I want justice! Come on, madam!

- How long is she in there? - Takes time to deal with a peasant.

Here she comes!

- How did it go? - He accepted 5 million.

Great! We saved 7 million.

We'll give those to don Schiavon to make a children's home.

Madam, you forgot your bra!

Let's go!

The land is promising this year.

If the weather will not spoil it.

"All has ended well."

"Our 5 fellow citizens, whose uprightness no one has doubted..."

"...listened to the verdict that sets them free..."

"...with the serenity of those who never lost faith in law and justice."

"They were set free because they didn't commit the crime they were accused of."

"Meanwhile, Cristofoletto and his daughter Alda..." - Shut up!

"Found guilty of slander...

...will have to face trial for this matter..."

"...and for the reproachable accusation aimed at defaming..."

"...the big virtue of the accused. Commander, are you happy?

Very much so!

Although the ending is a bit overdone. "Big virtue", plain silly!

I know, but "better to exaggerate than saying too little".

- Come again? - Better a lot than very little.

Thank you Commander, and my regards.

Work to do, miss.