All language subtitles for Take.Me.Home.2011.1080P.Webrip.X264.Aac-[Yts.Mx]-ENG

Actually, sir, if you could just take
a look now, I'd really appreciate it.

There's this issue with my landlord.
He's kind of on my back.

So if you could just,
please, please...

Thank you.

Not bad. Nice work. Good job.
Thanks for coming in.

That's it?
You got no studio work.

All we do is studio work. Food,
fashion, celebrity portraits...

I got celebs. Who?

Uh, I actually just shot
Frank Stallone for this...

- He's the brother of...
- I know who he is.

It's out of order.

Look, we sell sex.
You got no sex in there.

See that? We shot that.
I'd have sex with that.

You are a photo journalist.

You take pretty pictures of trees
and buildings and homeless people.

Stick with that.
If you could just, um...

I... I don't have studio work
because I can't afford it.

I can't afford it because I don't have
jobs that, um, pay like studio work.

See? So, I-I really feel
like I could be great at this.

I just... I... I need
someone to take a chance.

Good luck with that.

- Oh, I love it. -
- It's kind of that Sinatraesque jazz music.

And it's not a scene.
It's not like...

We could do our work there.
We could talk about business.

We could... Oh, definitely.

Oh, hey, hon.

Uh, this is my... Uh, Candy.

Right.

This is Candy.
You're not at work.

I'm not at work.
I am right here.

Candy, could you excuse us?

Yeah. Sure.

Oh, you mean... Mm-hmm.

Okay. Now, before you get all in
a huff, just hear me out, okay?

Candy is the new
manager's assistant.

While Don's in Anaheim,
I'm getting her acclimated.

- To our home?
- Yeah. We were in the neighborhood, okay?

- And I left my laptop.
- Oh, Eric.

What? Claire!
Don't power-lunch me, Eric.

Then what do you want to hear?
The truth.

- The truth?
- That you'd rather spend time...

filing things in Candy's drawers
than home with your wife.

You work just as much
as I do, okay? So...

It's like a side project,
isn't it, Eric?

- Oh, no. Not now. Not the big-picture speech.
- Working on us.

It's like the bedroom walls we
never get around to repainting.

I mean, what are we doing here?

Can I say something?

I actually really like
the paint in the bedroom.

Evicted.

I can't believe this.
I truly find this unbelievable.

Did you ask me
if I had the rent?

No. Instead you chuck all
my stuff out into the hallway.

Do you have the rent?
That's not the point, Dave.

Okay, you know what?

I'm working tonight, and I will bring the
check in the morning. You don't work, Thomas.

You are a fake cabdriver who drive
people around in a fake taxicab!

That's on the side. Okay. You know what? I
wasn't gonna tell you this. I got a job today.

A real job? Yes, a real job.

And it's a big, fat paycheck.

So why don't you help me pick all this crap
up and put it right back into that room?

Please. Dave.

Sorry, Thom.
I can't carry you anymore!

Dave. Dave. No! No!

You gotta listen. Please.
No, I can't do that.

Don't do this to me.
Dave? Dave!

Okay, bye. Suzanne?

Um, did you send out
the mailing list?

That's it there. Great.

Great.

- Suzanne, thanks for staying.
- Oh, my pleasure.

So, you're done.

You heading home? Heading out?

You need me to mail those?

No. No.

You've done more than enough.

Okay, then.

Hey! How's your boyfriend?

- What's his name again?
- Chris?

Chris. Oh. Oh, we broke up.

Oh, you did? I'm sorry.
Oh, it's okay.

We never really fit anyway.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

I mean, we tried
to make it work, but...

Oh, he always wanted me
to be somebody I'm not.

You know? Totally.

Correcting my grammar,
buying me clothes I didn't like,

putting a pillowcase over my head
and bending me over the furniture.

I just...
I never got used to it.

Hmm.

But live and learn. Good guy.
Just not the one for me.

Yeah.

You sure you don't want me
to mail those?

No. No, I'll get it.

Thank you.

Okay.

Claire, where the hell are yo?

Well, I hope you get this.

I called your home,
but for some reason...

your machine didn't pick up,
so I am calling you here.

This is your mama, by the way.

I... I shouldn't be leaving
a message like this,

but it is about your dad.

His daughter, Eve,
called and he...

he went and he had
a heart attack.

He's okay though. Well, I guess he's not okay.
He had a goddamn heart attack.

But he ain't dead.

So, I was thinking,

I got the number of the hospital
he's at in California...

on the off chance that
you might want to call him.

What are your plans
for Memorial Day weekend?

What's going on out there?
Jeff, let's take those calls.

Let's hear what people have
planned for Memorial Day weekend.

Where to? Drive.

- What?
- Just drive.

I know I have big plans,
and, uh, I'm braving it.

Oh, God.

Are you...

If you're going past Newark,
I gotta charge round trip.

I don't make the rules.
That's... That's headquarters.

You can't go past
New Brunswick either.

That's...
That's corporation limit.

Heck, even New Brunswick's
pushing it.

Would you shut up?
I'm not paying you to talk.

I'm paying you to drive.

That's why I took a cab, so
that I could sit in the back...

while some foreigner who speaks broken
English could take me where I need to go.

- I don't know where you need to go.
- I don't care where.

I don't care where.
I don't care how much it costs.

I will just pay you...
whatever it costs.

Because I don't care. Do you get it?
I don't care!

I don't care!

Do you care?

Oh...

- Holy shit.
- Mornin'.

Holy shit!

- Where are we?
- Rodney.

What? Rodney. It's about an
hour outside of Pittsburgh.

- Pennsylvania?
- That would be the one.

We're in Pennsylvania? Mm-hmm.

- Are you joking?
- Mmm, no.

- Why would you bring me here?
- You told me to.

- To drive to Rodney?
- "Just drive." That's what you said.

"Just drive."

Oh.

Oh, I get it.

You drive me all the out here, so
you can drive me all the way back.

That way you make
twice as much.

That's really clever.
Dan Reeves.

- Turn around.
- I can't.

You'll get your round trip.
Now turn us around.

I can't drive through
the median. It's illegal.

I'll pay for the ticket.
Just turn us around.

- Six miles to the next exit. You'll just have to wait.
- Stop the car!

Okay.

Meter's running.

Can you wait in the car?

Here's your purse.

I got it.

I got it.

I'm sorry.

We can work something out
if you, um...

You know,
if you don't have enough.

Anyway,

I am sorry.

You're a licensed cabbie?
Don't point that at me.

You have a good record, right?
You're professional?

- Yeah.
- No accidents or tickets?

None. Honestly?

Honestly.

I need an atlas.

Ready? Looks like
we just stay on 70.

70... West?

Mm-hmm.

So where we heading?

Encinitas.

Where is that? Pennsylvania?

Ohio?

California.

Oh, God. You're serious.

Yeah. Um, we're not doing that.

Why not? Oh, I don't know.

I got... I got...
other things to do.

I got meetings. I got deadlines. I'm
not just a taxi driver, you know.

I'll pay whatever
the meter says.

The meter would explode trying
to calculate a fare that big.

Then name your price.

We're talking a lot of money.

Like, buttloads.

2,000.

2,000 gets you to
the Pittsburgh Airport.

You can fly anywhere in
the continental United States.

I don't fly. 3,000.

3,000 is... carry the one...
still not enough.

- Four.
- Five.

- Done.
- Six.

- You said five.
- Five, tonight.

A thousand at the end
of each day.

Five days, 5,000.

Plus accommodations. Done.

- And food.
- Fine.

Fine.

So, uh, Encinitas, huh?

Dan, is it?

Claire.

I'm dying up here.

It's this car. It's depressing.

You should take better care of it.
Yeah?

That's funny you mention that. I was just about
to get, uh, cashmere upholstery in here.

Beautiful. But then
I splurged on gasoline.

Well, I bet you spend
a lot of time in here.

You'd be surprised what a little T.L.C.
could do to brighten your mood.

Yeah, I don't think
the cab's the problem here.

Uh, it wouldn't kill us to get
out every once in a while.

You know, stretch our legs, get a sense
of where we are, how far we've come.

That's what, uh,
road trips are for.

Otherwise, Pennsylvania,
Kansas, Utah,

you know, they're just
names on a map.

Might as well be
on a plane looking down.

There. Let's stop there.

There you go. Wait, where?

Okay.

Can you pop the trunk?

Oh.

Right. Let me...
What's all this?

Uh, some guy I drove
last night left it.

Can we get rid of it? No! No.

He, uh... He asked me
to hold onto it.

He called about it, so...
He must be really lonely.

You ever notice how really lonely
men have huge DVD collections?

Fills the void, I guess.

Ready?

Oh.

Was it an accident?

- What?
- What happened back in New York.

It's cool with me.
It's cool with me.

I'm just telling you, I don't want to get
dragged into something, you know, as...

As what?

An accomplice.

Come on.

You're driving cross-country
in a taxicab.

Your method of payment happens
to be your husband's checkbook.

And you don't want
your photo taken.

That's curious.

- I killed my husband.
- Shh.

Look, I don't really feel comfortable
telling you my life story.

He found out about the affair.

What? Your husband.

He found out about the... the
bohunk living in Encinitas...

we're heading out to see.

Oh, I should've known.
I see it now.

Look, I'm sure this is a lot
of fun for you,

but I don't feel comfortable
telling you my life story.

Then don't.

Less I know, the better.

Are you gonna do this
the whole trip?

You're not gonna talk,
I'm gonna fill in the gaps.

My father's in a hospital in Encinitas.
He had a heart attack.

So if you're not gonna stop talking,
could you at least switch subjects?

Absolutely.

So,

you're married?

What's that like? It's great.

Yeah? I don't think
I could do it.

I think it's unnatural. Did you know
that out of all the mammals on earth,

only a quarter of them
are monogamous?

The rest?

Sleeping around.

Doin' it.

Many of which
eat their own poop.

I just think we have
unrealistic expectations.

Did you know that marriage
was originally conceived...

as an agreement between families
for financial gain, security...

And then somewhere along the line, this
whole concept of... of love got stirred in.

But they just don't mix. Marriage ruins love.
Love ruins marriage.

It's awful.

Take George and Wilma
over there.

I bet they were insanely happy,
once upon a time.

And then they got married.

Had kids, went broke.

George was a wonderful plumber,
but a terrible accountant.

Wilma probably blamed him,
thought about leaving him,

but decided to stick it out,
you know?

For the kids.

And now here they are
after all these years,

without a thing to say.

Maybe they're enjoying it.

Sitting with someone
they really know.

Someone who really knows them.

Not having to say something
witty or insightful.

I like my version better.
Just a little bit.

It's a better story.

For someone who's never been married before,
how'd you get to be such an expert?

- You must've come close once or twice.
- Uh, no.

Um, I, uh, got a degree
in psychoanalysis.

You're a therapist.

And a taxi driver.

- Wow.
- Driving is just something I do on the side.

You know, for fun.

Well, you might want
to change your focus.

You're a much better taxi driver
than you are a therapist.

Hey, Dan.

Dan?

Dan?

Dan! Dan!

- Dan!
- Ah!

Dan!

Aaah!

Oh, God!

Well, that was...

- The alignment seems to be a little...
- Stop the car.

- What?
- Stop the car.

- Why?
- You just drove across four lanes.

- That's because the...
- The what?

The alignment?
That's not what I said.

- That is what you said.
- No.

- Pull over. Pull over right now.
- What?

What are you gonna do,
get out and walk?

There. There. Pine Bluff Motel in five miles.
Take me there.

Yes, Ms. Daisy.

Getting a hotel room, I'm writing you a
check, and then you are going the hell away!

Sounds good.

Hmm.

Do you work here?

Sometimes.

Good. I need one room, please.

Fifty-five, even.

Where's my purse?

Dan, where's my purse?

This purse?

Oh. I guess it's not on me.

Okay.

Well, I appreciate
you looking. Yes.

I understand.

Okay. Thank you.

Bye.

It says you have 25 cents left.

Here.

They checked the entire
restaurant, the parking lot...

Nothing.

I had to cancel
all the credit cards.

The good news is they're
gonna send it to my mom's.

So we can just
pick it up in Vegas.

You can blow it all
on blackjack or something.

If they find it. Or something.
Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Um,

what did you say
you had on you?

I didn't. Okay.

Could you check? Oh, $83.

Okay.

Credit cards?

I have $83 to my name.

I thought you were a therapist.

I was just... playing around.

So you're... you're poor?

No, you're poor. I have $83.

Fine. Whatever.

Isn't there something
you want to ask me?

No.

Well, can we? Can we what?

Don't be obtuse. You know.

Can we use my $83 to get us
across the rest of the country?

- Well, can we?
- Can we what?

Can we use your $83 to get us
across the rest of the country?

No.

Why not?

You think $83 is gonna get
us across half a continent?

I don't know.

We could fill this whole cab
with what you don't know.

Now get your hubby
to wire you some money.

No. Why not?

I can't call him.

- He's dead, isn't he?
- No.

You killed him? No.

Okay, then get him
on "thee" phone...

so that he can wire
"ye" some money,

and then we can go
the "helleth" away from here.

- I'm not calling him.
- Why not?

- Because!
- Because why?

Because!

You know what?
Forget it. Just...

Just get out, would ya?

Leave your crap,
I'll sell it on eBay,

and you just go
on your merry way.

Holy shit, you cry a lot.

- Shut up!
- Aaah! Ow!

No! No! Ow! Hey!

No. No. Hey. I don't play that.

No, I'm sorry.
No, we are not doing this.

I do not fight women.

Ah! Oh, my nads!

All right, that is it.
That is it!

Ow! Huh?

Hey! Hey!

Yeah?

Where you goin'? Bathroom.

There she is.

- Where'd you go?
- Oh, I was just...

lookin' for food.

You hungry?

I thought you left.

Find anything good?

Where you going?

Morning. Hey, there.

- Howdy.
- What can I do ya for?

Oh, about 10 bucks.
I'm cheap and lonely.

No.

Uh, the guy here last night said there
was some sort of, um, breakfast or...

Yes, a continental breakfast right
around the corner in Conference Room 1.

Thank you kindly.

I used to have these
all the time growing up.

Can't believe
I never got tired of 'em.

Well, good.

'Cause that's breakfast,
lunch and dinner.

Dan?

I know this puts you in an awkward position
with the cab company and everything.

But it means a lot.

So how do we
get you to California?

Where's the nearest airport?

Where to? Uh, Elmont, but...

We'll get you there.

- Elmont?
- Probably a suburb.

- Probably.
- Yeah, I'll find it. You just, uh...

Just what?

Fill in the gaps.

Oh, right.

So, uh, next thing you know, my
dad's got $80,000 worth of debt...

and four tons of tapioca
pudding in the basement.

Well, I'll be.

What company
did you say he was with?

Uh, it was
the Good Topeka Business...

Or Better Topeka...
Something... Something.

Never heard of it. Yeah,
it's not around anymore.

Boy, I can see why. Next right.

Right. Right.

What? No... I...

Good. That was really good.

Was that my street?

Uh, no. No, that's uh,
construction. No.

We're actually gonna
take a scenic route.

Left. Right.

And here we are.

That'll be 48.50.

How much? Forty-eight.

Forty-eight?
I'd say that's a bit steep.

How much is it normally?
About 25.

Sounds good.
I'll get your bags.

It was 55, right? 55 College?

It was 55 College.
What street are you on?

Uh, this is... Yeah, this is...

Oh, wait, no. This is...

How am I looking back there?

Um, guess I'll just...

Clark, you sit down.

Aaah!

I think I'm done.

Yep.

How much do we have
left after this?

- Uh, hopefully enough to get us through Colorado.
- That's it?

Haven't driven a car lately,
have you?

Yeah.

Welcome to
the rest of the world.

Maybe we should go back to the airport.
God, no.

Let's keep going.
We can always do this again.

Good idea.

We'll have better luck
in Denver anyhow.

- Yes?
- Hi.

Hello.

This is going to be
a strange question, but...

did a young man happen to come here looking
to use your restroom or something?

No.

Did you lose someone?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think
I fell asleep in my car.

And when I woke up,
he was gone.

And I don't know why
he would stop here.

Or, uh...

I actually don't know
where I am.

I'm sorry.

Well, you're in Boulder.

Arnold, who is it? Hmm.

Lynnette, did you see, uh,
some guy walking around outside?

Well, gosh, no.

- What's his name?
- Dan Reeves.

Well, like the football coach?

Uh, sure.

This guy
she was traveling with...

took off while she was
sleeping in the car.

Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.

Well, we will
keep an eye out for him.

What's he look like, sweetie?

Oh, I have a picture.

Surprise!

Thom!

- That was classic!
- Oh, my gosh!

I can't believe it. You should've
seen the looks on your faces.

Well, you had me going.
Dan Reeves.

Oh, I wish you'd let me know you were coming.
The place is a mess.

Your father promised me
he was gonna sweep up.

We wanted to surprise you. Well,
it's just an absolute mess.

Uh, Mom, Dad, this is Claire.

Hello.

H-Hi.

So what brings you out here?

Well, you know, uh,
we, uh, got this crazy idea...

to travel cross-country, and I thought,
hey, I know someone in Boulder.

So... So you drove from New
York, just like that?

Just like that. What fun!

Yeah! That's fun!

Well, I don't believe it.

- Well, are you guys hungry?
- Not really.

- Starving.
- Oh, wonderful.

Let's get you fed.
Come on, sweetheart.

We just had dinner. We can't spend too much time.
We have to get, uh,

back on the road soon, Mom.

Okay. What would
you like to eat, sweetheart?

Why don't you sit right here,
next to the father.

And that is Asian chicken on the table.
It is so very good.

And then I have some meat loaf
and some bean salad.

Uh, Lynn, I'll take
some more meat loaf.

Oh, that's a good one, isn't it?
Those are our surgeons.

Uh, that's Todd and Marsha.

And that's Gracie,
our little Olympian.

And then I think you know
the cute guy in the middle.

- I wish you had told me you were coming.
- Mom.

I would've fixed something
a little fancier.

- Mom, this is great.
- I'll have the chicken, please.

Oh, Asian chicken.

Dishes. So, exactly, uh,
how did this come about?

Uh, you know, it was a spur
of the moment kind of thing.

Uh, we both had
time off from work,

so we figured, why not?

Thom?

- Uh, anything. Just...
- So, uh, where you two heading?

Lynnette, I'll take
some more meat loaf.

Thanks. Well, my mom lives in
Vegas, so we're gonna go there.

And then I also have
some family in San Diego.

Oh, a California girl.

Lynnette.

Well...

Not exactly.

My half sister
and my father live there.

Oh, how often
do you get to see them?

Oh, about, uh, every 20 years or so.
I grew up with my mom.

- Oh.
- In Vegas?

In Vegas, Atlantic City, Orlando...
pretty much everywhere.

- So how did you two meet?
- Uh, Mom.

Oh! Oh, well, excuse me.

If somebody would just call his
parents every once in a while...

and fill them in on
what's happening in his life,

I would not have to be so nosy.

- But, so, do you work together?
- No.

- No.
- No, I'm in nonprofit.

I don't think I'd last
very long as a cabbie.

A cabbie?

Yeah, like your son. Thom?

I didn't tell you guys
about that?

That you drive a cab?

Yep. Well, on the side,
you know, for fun.

Well, what happened
to Wall Street?

N-Nothing happened to Wall Street, Mom.
It's still there.

It's just, uh, you know,
I, uh, got a mobile office,

Wi-Fi, satellite kinda thing.

I just, you know, don't have to
be rooted to a desk anymore.

I can literally work anywhere.

So I can just type it in
and off it goes.

I'll have the chicken
if there's...

But why a cabdriver?

Well, I mean, why not,
you know?

When in New York... Right?

Uh, plus, it's always been a dream of mine
to overhaul the-the transit system there.

So I figure, you know, might as
well start with one out of a fleet.

And, uh, so I figure...

So you own a cab?

- It's out front.
- Here?

You just... You just drove
out here in a taxicab?

- Sure did.
- What fun!

- Yep.
- Goodness!

You came all the way
out from New York in a...

It's unbelievable, isn't it?
Wow.

- Wow, wow, wow.
- Yep.

Is it one of the Checkers,
or is it a little yellow one?

I always liked the yellow ones.
It's a... It's yellow.

Oh, good. They smell better. Well, uh,
if you could excuse me for a moment.

Oh, sure. Oh, if you need
the bathroom, sweetheart,

it's just past the, uh,
pantry on the right.

Oh, you wanted
to have meat loaf?

Uh, chicken.

Asian chicken. Good for you.

Well, would you look at that.
Yeah.

What fun! Yeah.

So, how much is he charging you, Claire?
No, I'm kidding.

I am so kidding.

Well, it was really nice
to meet you.

I just wish we had more
time together. Mmm.

Are you sure you don't want
to stay until breakfast?

Because your father doesn't even
have to leave until 10:00 and we...

Yeah, I'm... I'm... I'm sure, Ma.

All right.

Well, it was nice
to meet you anyway.

Not a lot of time,
but hopefully...

How are you doing on cash? Need
some money for gas or whatnot?

Uh...

No.

Okay, um...

All right.

A pleasure.

So, you have your dad's
new telephone number?

Yes. Okay.

You'll call when you
get to California?

Yeah. I-I will. Just to let
us know if you're all right.

Right. Okay?

Okay, Mom. Safe trip.

Thanks.

You okay?

Let me know
if you need to switch.

You can't drive.

Not legally.

Claire.

Wow.

Did you know about this?

I have no idea how we got here.

That's impressive,
what with you, um,

driving the car and all.

I must have dozed off.

No, I dozed off. You
apparently went into a coma.

We're alive, aren't we?

Let's get back in the car
and find the highway.

The highway you drove off?

- Yes.
- How do we do that, Claire?

Is there an on ramp
I'm not seeing here?

We follow the tracks.
What tracks, Claire?

Unless you sprinkled bread crumbs for
us to follow, there are no tracks.

Why are you being an ass? It's
not like I meant to do this.

You realize that makes it
even worse, right?

'Cause that means
we have no way of getting back.

Fine. You stay here.

I'm sure the tumbleweeds
can appreciate your sarcasm...

a whole hell of a lot more
than I can.

That was going to be so cool,
wasn't it, with you driving off?

Shall I?

So when exactly were you
diagnosed as a compulsive liar?

I'm not a compulsive liar.

Nah, you're Hall of Famer
Dan Reeves.

Well, yeah, I lied about that.

And about being a therapist.

And a Wall Street tycoon.

And just now
about not being a liar.

That's kind of oversimplifying it, isn't it?
Well, it's kind of simple.

You lie habitually. I don't
see what the big deal is.

Women are always like,
"You know what?

Let's just be completely, brutally
honest about everything."

And then somewhere along
the lines that turns into...

"I hate that you squeeze from the
wrong end of the toothpaste,"

or-or, um, "You know when you're making
that face when we're making love?

Don't do that. That's ugly."

Or, uh, "I wish you
looked like a model."

"And I've wanted to have sex with every
person I've seen today except you."

You feel better?
I know I do. Oh!

I'm so glad I got that
off my chest.

I mean, I would much rather tell a few
white lies than put in all that work.

And the lies back at your
parents' house, that wasn't work?

All that backpedaling?
And for what?

They don't care if you're some Wall Street zillionaire.
They just want you to be happy.

- And how would you know that?
- Because they're unhappy.

They are?

Completely.

Your dad keeps
everything bottled in.

Your mom barely
acknowledges your dad.

Whatever those two had when they got
married they gave up on a long time ago.

Yeah, well, you know what? It can't be all
rainbows and chocolate hearts, you know?

They had kids,
responsibilities.

Eventually,
you have to settle down.

Some people settle down
and some people just settle.

Well, it's clear
which category you fit into.

What? Oh, come off it.

You escape New York faster
than Kurt Russell.

And then you demand that I take you back
once you feel like I'm scamming you.

And then you-you-you-you ask me to drop you
off at a motel in the middle of nowhere.

I mean, make up your mind.
You're like a Ping-Pong ball.

Someone gives you a little tap
and you just go flying.

I left New York because I caught
my husband having an affair.

Oh.

Yeah, oh. You, like, um,

caught him?

Pretty much.

There was definitely
something going on.

But you didn't see anything?

I don't... See, I didn't see... I don't
need to see something. I just know.

There was no, like, e-mails? You didn't
find pictures from the Bahamas or anything?

I just know.

All right, okay.

Why are you laughing?

When I drove off the road,
you caught me.

This?

This just sounds like someone
looking for a way out.

How much further, you think?

Depends.

On what?

Whether we're going
toward it or away from it.

We could be two days from
the nearest road by now.

Great attitude.

Let's stop crapping
ourselves, shall we?

The likelihood of us getting out of this alive
gets slimmer the longer we're out here.

If the cold doesn't get us
tonight, the heat will tomorrow.

Would you shut up?

You wanna pretend there's a Marriott
over the next horizon, you do that.

But I would much rather spend our energy
trying to figure out how to, you know,

keep each other warm.

How do you suggest we do that?

No, thanks.

Well, I'm not talking about...

Whatever.

You think it's cold now?
Wait a few hours.

Thom.

Almost done.

Great. Said we should be
on the road in no time.

Why are you so camera shy?

I'm not photogenic.

I find that very hard to believe.
Mmm.

I could show you some school pictures.
Oh, come.

Oh, yeah. I could show you
one from third grade.

My mom, she did my hair up
in a... in a really hot perm.

It was really sexy.

That sounds really sexy. And then she
put all this make-up on my face...

and put me in this leather vest
that I really, really hated.

I looked like a rodeo clown.

I got teased on the bus,
it was that bad.

Anyway, a few years later,

I went to go visit my dad and Eve...
that's my sister, half sister...

and wouldn't you know it,
that picture's on his fridge.

And he said, "See,

I look at you every day."

But it wasn't me.

It wasn't even me
in third grade.

It's just a picture.

Can I take your picture?

No!

Come on. Didn't you just
hear my whole story?

Look, when you get old,
like, really old,

you're gonna want to
share memories, okay?

Maybe not of hot-perm, rodeo Claire,
but definitely of something like this.

Why can't you just
take it without me?

Because without you in the
picture, it's a flat shot.

It's like a postcard.
But if you...

All right. All right, here.
Go on take a look.

All right, put me on,
like, the side of the frame.

You see how it's a little easier to take in
all of it with something in the foreground?

Yeah, it's just not the same.

Yeah, exactly.

So...

can I take your picture?

All right, you're
looking at 355 all told.

I thought it was an easy fix.

It was, but with the tow,
it's 355.

Uh... Oh, we can't pay that.
We can't pay that.

I'm sorry. I actually don't
think that you understand, um,

I lost my purse
four states back,

and when I say that we... we can't
pay that, I actually mean...

You should've thought of that before you decided
to park your car in the middle of the desert.

Okay.

Uh, we'll call
the taxi company.

Yeah, I don't know
if the taxi company is...

I mean, I'm sure they have
roadside assistance, Triple A.

Um... Something like that, so...

This car isn't registered under any company.
So, no, there's no roadside assistance.

- Hold on, I think I got... You know what? I got something.
- What are you talking about?

If this was a commercial vehicle,
it'd have different plates.

This car isn't registered under any company anywhere.
Just, uh, Thom Colvin, that guy.

- Okay? So that'll be...
- 355.

Thank you very much.
Taxi company.

Um...

All right, hold on, okay.

I am aware this is bad.
Is there anything else?

What?

Is there anything else
you haven't told me?

I bought this at
an auction last spring.

And when I get really low on cash,
I use it to pick people up.

It's not something I do all the time.
I just...

I got kicked out of my apartment
the first night you met me,

and I didn't tell ya because
I needed to make money.

And then I didn't tell you
because I was embarrassed.

And then it was just,
you know... it was too late.

Also, the DVDs in the back
are all mine.

Also, the first night when you fell asleep
in the back, I looked up your skirt.

A lot.

The cash...

Uh, the cash wasn't mine,
it was my parents',

and I didn't
borrow it from them.

I stole it.

And, um, this morning...

uh, this morning I...

I heard the highway and I didn't
wake you because I wanted to...

sleep in with you.

And though you have, uh...

you have absolutely
nothing to go on,

I want you to know
that I am, uh...

I am tired of the way
I am, and, um,

I will never lie to you again.

I know.

I know he would be really
happy and sleep better...

knowing that you
are safe and sound.

He's your husband, you know?

Uh, I do know that.

Look, I am not gonna
get in the middle of it.

I just think he deserves a call. Let
him know you're okay. Call him.

Maybe.

- Well, I tried.
- Yes, you did.

Yes, you did.

Thom, have you met
Claire's better half yet?

Uh, you know, I-I, uh...
I have not yet.

Oh, he is quite a catch.

He's, like,
seven feet of muscle.

He gave me the most beautiful sweater
for Christmas. It was cashmere.

It's just simply gorgeous.

And practical, here in Nevada.

Well, I think it's beautiful.

It's a lot nicer than the
golf clubs that Jared got me.

Remember that? I mean, what the hell
was I gonna do with golf clubs?

Except maybe clunk him
over the head with one.

Mom.

Sweetheart?

Hmm?

You got my message about
your father, right? Yeah.

We're driving there
in the morning.

How are you feeling about that?

Fine.

We'll talk later.

What's there to talk about?

I haven't called yet.

I decided I would
just go and see him.

He still at the hospital?

You didn't get my message.

Monday night.

No, I left another one
after that.

The service is tomorrow.

Claire. Claire.

Claire? Claire, honey.
It's okay. I got it.

All right... Whoa, whoa.
No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay, Claire, come on.

No, no, don't... don't do this.

Get out! Now hold on.
Just breathe here.

Just don't... All right, let's
think this... No, no, no, no, no!

That's okay. That's okay.
I do that all the time.

It's okay.

Pick up my can.

Pick it up. My can.

Just a second.

Okay.

Sorry.

I'll move it back. Don't...

Towels are in the closet
by the bathroom.

Thanks.

I'm crying already
and I didn't even like him.

I brought lots of goodies.

Yeah.
I got potato chips, and I got pretzels,

and I got a lot of gum.

Do I look all right? I was gonna have...
do a hot perm, but I didn't have time.

No, this is good,
what you got going on.

Oh! Look at this
beautiful house!

Eve.

Claire.

- You are so tan, Eve.
- Oh, hey, Jill.

Oh, you're practically Mexican.

Mom. What? That is a compliment.

- This is Thom.
- Hi. Eve.

- Thom. Nice to meet you.
- This is, um, my husband, Alan. This is Jill.

- Hi. How do you do?
- Hello. Nice to meet you.

This is Thom. Hi, there.
Welcome, hello.

- And this is Claire.
- Oh, hi, Claire. Lovely to meet you.

Oh! Oh, my God!

Oh! Oh, Eric, my big bear.

How are you? I wear your
sweater all the time.

I would expect
nothing less. Hi.

I, uh... I got on a plane
as soon as I heard.

When was that?

Last night.

Well, um, I gotta see
a man about a dog.

Eve, may I use your boudoir?

Yes.

Bye, y'all.

Uh, Thom.

Hey, Eric.

Heard a lot about you.

Um, Claire, can we talk?

You want a beer? Uh, yeah.

How was the drive? Well...

Long.

For the last month, we'd
been working a lot together,

getting pretty close and, uh...

I don't know, I guess I just like
to talk to somebody else about us.

I don't know.

Anyway, around that time that's
when, um, we had our big fight.

I knew we had to work things out, so I called
Candy over to the house to call it off...

because I just wanted
to stop it before...

And that's when you
came home and found us.

Now, Claire, it's not her fault, okay?
It's my fault.

I let it go too long. I should've stopped
it before it got out of hand and...

She's a great girl, and I'm sure under different
circumstances the two of you would be great...

Point is, Claire, is that I
never crossed that line.

You gotta believe that.

Because I believe
we can work things out.

I'm gonna work on being...

On what?

Being more married?

More in love?

Both.

Hi. Sorry to interrupt,
but I think everyone's here.

We're gonna walk down?

- Yeah, thanks, Eve.
- We'll be right out.

All right.

You know, when you were
gone, I nearly lost it.

I'd come home, empty house
and you weren't there and...

I don't want to feel
like that ever again.

Well, judging by how many
people showed up here today,

I think it's...

safe to say that Dad was probably
the loneliest man on earth.

It's understandable.
He was a hard man to know.

And he didn't believe
in second chances.

What's done is done.

I don't buy that.

We can change.

We do change.

We don't have to take our regrets
to the grave like he did.

We can be free of all of that.

We don't die inhaling.

We exhale.

We leave it all behind.

Oh, uh, thanks.

Um...

I like Eric too. He's got all that muscle.
He's-He's-He's not me.

I hope a check's okay.

It's fine.

You going back to New York?

You know, I can be poor
anywhere.

I might as well be on the
road for a little while.

Um, where's the, uh... Where's
the airport from here?

I don't know.

Thought you said
you didn't fly.

Well, it's time I got over it.

Those pilots know
what they're doing.

And it's safer than driving.

Depends who's driving.

Well, I think that's everything, sweetheart.
But you forgot your scarf. So, all right?

Whoa.

Hey, Thom, you, uh... you
live out of your car, pal?

Why's that?

I... Well, why's that? Look at all
the decorations in this bad boy.

Isn't it great?

Yeah, but, it looks like
a pottery barn in here.

But it's great.
It's-It's... It's great.

I'll take a last look. Yeah,
that sounds like a good idea.

- I think we're all good.
- I wish you didn't have to go.

Claire!

What did you just say?

I said...

I wish you could stay.

I can't do that.

I know.

Claire!

Hey, Claire?

I'm sorry about your father.

Thank you.

He, uh...

He really missed out.

Oh, you're the only one
that does that to me, baby.

Yeah, well. Okay, all right.

I want sweaters for Christmas.

You'll get two this year.
I promise.

Turquoise. Just no pink.

You be careful. I love you.

Bye. Love you too, you guys.

Bye, guys. Bye.

Doesn't get any easier,
darling.

She's been in my life 29 years,
and it still hurts to see her go.

Okay, we're gonna
get back on the 5.

We're gonna drive
for about 60 miles.

And then we are going to see that
burger joint and we are going to stop...

Come on, come on.

Battery Park City.

Have a good day, folks.
Yeah, did Don see it?

Then what'd he say?

Then what's the problem? That's exactly
what I was telling... Sorry, sweetheart.

You know what, look, um...

Okay, good. So... So you're
basically telling me, Selena,

that I spent four and a half hours
on a plane reading a stupid thing...

that we're not even gonna be
actually dealing with?

No, you told me that
he'd actually read it.

Hello.

Right. Now you're telling me
that he just read it now?

Why didn't you tell me this
when I was in California?

Okay, look, do me a favor.

Do not tell me to do something unless
he has made a decision himself.

Home, sweet home.
Home, sweet home.

I love seeing those
little colored balls.

If you find my eyelash,
would you mail it to me...

because that's human hair.
Sure will.

And I hear my phone ringing. Everything
happens as soon as I'm home.

You're telling me... I mean,
you're driving me insane.

Hold your ponies. Oh.

Put him on the phone.

Okay.

Hello?

Hey. Hi.

Did you make it
home in one piece?

No, no. No, no, that's...

Oh, God, no. That's Bill Semrock.
No, no, no, no.

This is Bill Wells. The
exhibition artist. Remember?

He was the guy who had
that show in Greenpoint...

where he hung himself from
a flagpole by his nipples.

Remember?
Right. Right, I remember.

Well, he and I went to one of those
parties where everybody is in cages.

Right.

And, you know, people are crawling all over
each other pretending to be wild animals.

What were you?

A turkey.

Bill was a dolphin.
How cute is that?

Oh, my God.

Oh, we had the best time.

Suzanne, I'm really
happy for you.

Oh, yeah. It's about time, huh?

Yeah.

Before I forget, San Diego called
about the celebrity auction.

Are you going to be able to go?

Yeah, that's fine. I'll just
give them a call in the morning.

All righty. All right.

See you tomorrow.
Thanks, Suzanne.

Bye. Bye.

Hola, my beautiful sister.
It's Eve.

Happy belated Easter, for what
that's worth, I don't know.

I got your message and I think
that would be so awesome.

Lady, you pick the date,
I am there.

We'll eat, we'll surf, do everything you're
supposed to do here in beautiful Encinitas.

Which is, uh, eating and surfing,
now that I think about it.

Anyway, call me. I love you.

Hey, it's, uh... it's Eric.

I just called to let you know
I dropped off some of your mail.

Your landlord said he'd put it inside your
apartment for you so I wanna make sure you got it.

I hope you're doing okay.

Um, that's it. Okay. Bye.