Original subtitles

MATT: (Ugandan accent) Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow!

Everybody needs a bosom!

JAY: Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow!

There is a message in this song, and it is a message about

heteronormativeness!

Everybody needs a bosom...

Play-- I have brought my piano player

to play for you a religious song.

(Piano playing)

Are you ready?

We are going to bring it to you.

Sing this in your villages!

Spread this word!

This is the new message!

Ready?

♪ Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow ♪

♪ Everybody needs a bosom

♪ There’s no gays

♪ Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow ♪

♪ Everybody needs a bosom

♪ Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow ♪

♪ Everybody needs a bosom

So we are not going to have gayness in Uganda anymore!

It is a day for celebration!

♪ No gays, no gays

You can go home and be proud to be from Uganda!

We are going to lock them up and (Bleep)!

(Speaking gibberish)

Amen, brudda!

(Piano playing)

It’s weird.

It’s-- It’s a bit crazy, yeah, okay.

I got an idea!

You won’t believe it, but--

Maybe we can do something special today.

A different style of plan!

- Yep. - Watch this.

So...

Why don’t we start by writing the date down?

Uh, right, so this is--

What happens on the 4th month on the 20th day, on 4/20?

Uh, I don’t know, what-- Oh, oh, no, I know what it is!

Those two... little... brats...

shot all their friends at school, didn’t they?

Okay, well, what--

Columbine!

Okay, the Rivoli’s on Queen Street...

I know about the Rivoli.

What the fuck is underneath it, man?!

What is 4/20?

Industrial strength, Penguin-style drill.

4/20’s happened before.

What have we done... What did we do last 4/20?

Look at this, and this is the viewing area.

Go!

(Laughing)

Drill it right... right into it!

What else could we do on April 20th?

What the (Bleep) thing we can do on April 20th?

Drop this fucking April 20th!

- No! - Why?!

Nah, I think I’m gonna do my own thing today.

I’ll go out.

I don’t need the-- I don’t need all the--

I’ll just have my own day, that’s fine.

Can I do that?

Dude, are you hearing my plan?

Let’s rehearse something!

You wanna play Nintendo?

I know what you wanna see!

How about I draw, uh, a piano?

There’s the keys...

You forgot my birthday.

(Gasping)

It’s your B-day?!

Why didn’t you say?!

I’m so sorry, I forgot!

Oh my god, forget the plan!

No, we’re having a party!

- No... - Yes, man!

No, I don’t want a party.

- Look at egg on me! - No, I don’t wanna--

What kind of fucking friend am I?!

No, ’cause then we have to--

then I’m gonna have all that attention, and I don’t--

I’m not the type of guy that needs attention.

We’re going to get you a gift, come on!

- No! - Yes, come on!

Come on, that’s it, we’re going!

Best April 20th ever!

We’re going to the Eaton Centre!

Okay, we made it!

(Sighing)

(Laughing)

’Kay, but why did we have to rush out of there though?

I was all hungry.

It’s you’re B-day, dude, we gotta move fast!

We should’ve had a nice meal first

and get proper sustenance for the day.

You’re cranky! You know what it is?

I just haven’t eaten anything, that’s all.

You need something to eat, and until you get it,

you’re gonna be in a bad mood.

Sorry, it’s not every day that people forget your birthday.

It’s my friend’s birthday today.

Yeah.

So...

Yeah, that’s what I was just trying to

explain to him, hangry!

He said he didn’t eat anything.

We were rushing out today, so...

Bird, I’m gonna-- once we get off,

I’ll get the snacks, you get the snacks in your belly, mwah!

Good snacks or (Bleep)ty snacks?

I’m gonna get you some snacks, we’re gonna mellow out.

I’m gonna get Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos,

mix ’em all up into a big fun bag.

Where you gonna get all of that?

As if.

You get all that stuff at the same place.

That’s right, you can easily get all those things.

- Yeah. - I know.

It’s like the most common food there is.

That’s what the robots will eat.

Okay, we don’t need to...

Hey, it was nice meeting you guys!

See ya later, peace.

Bye-bye, thank you.

That’s so sweet.

See ya, later.

Bye.

♪

Alright! (Laughing)

Yes, man!

What is with the crowd?

Must be a lot of people’s B-day today!

Well, it’s April 20th, AKA 4/20 Day, a time in which

marijuana enthusiasts tune out, toke up, and get high.

♪ Ever heard of vertigo?

♪ Well ain’t no way else to go

♪ Prevail knows the faculties our poison lay you vertical ♪

♪ It’s only murder for every small animal committed ♪

♪ The only difference is I won’t admit I did it ♪

Whoa my gosh, it’s busy, huh? Wow!

Uh, I’m looking for a place to get my friend some snacks!

We’re gonna lose each other, we gotta figure out what to do.

Yeah, okay, I’m gonna put this toonie on the ground, okay?

Stay by the toonie.

We’ll meet back at the toonie, okay?

- This is where we meet? - We’ll meet back here.

I’m gonna go get you some snacks!

Okay, wait here, Bird!

- I’ll be right back. - Get good snacks, Matt!

(Crowd chattering)

I’m staying...

(Coin jangling)

Um...

Did you see a toonie here?

Anyone see a toonie fall on the ground?

- What are you looking for? - A toonie.

My toonie.

No, it’s just-- it was a meeting spot.

Was it here?

Matt?

(Dramatic music)

Matt?

♪

Matt!

Ketchup, everybody likes ketchup.

Oh, a Slim Jim!

You know, it’s my friend’s B-day,

so I’m getting him a snack.

He’s hangry!

Hey, thanks a lot!

See ya later, bye!

Come on, let’s go.

You guys didn’t see a toonie anywhere

on the ground here, did you?

It was a meeting spot.

Where is it?

Brownies?

I could use one.

Thank you so much, this is great.

Huh, nice guy.

Just gave me a brownie! (Laughing)

Save this for later.

My friend’s getting me snacks, it’s my birthday.

Yeah.

You guys didn’t see a toonie anywhere?

Bird, I got snacks, buddy!

Where’s the toonie?

Uh, yeah, you know what?

They’re for my-- It’s my friend’s birthday

and he’s pretty hungry.

Sorry.

Bird! Bird!

They’re for my friend’s-- They’re for my friend’s B-day.

Hey, happy birthday, dude!

No, it’s my friend Jay.

Jay, happy birthday, dude!

That’s not Jay, that’s not Jay.

Huh?

Well, it’s his birthday video, no?

Can I sneak through here, guys?

No, don’t, they’re for my friend Jay!

I’m sorry-- Yeah, I’m sorry, you can’t--

Hey, no, stop it!

Bird!

Hey!

Aah, no, they’re for Jay!

They’re for Jay!

Stop it!

Jay!

Jay!

(Slowed) Jay!

I’m getting mobbed, Jay!

♪

♪

(Panting)

Be careful out there!

Be careful!

Hi.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Oh my god!

(Panting)

What the hell?

Trying to get my friend snacks.

’Cause I forgot his birthday this morning.

And then he got very hungry, and then I got him these snacks,

and when I came back, the toonie was gone, he was gone.

And that’s when people started coming for the chips.

SECURITY: Okay, yeah.

Thank you, yeah.

I’m starting to think maybe this is a...

Where am I right now?

Where is this?

Oh, this is the Eaton Centre!

Oh, it’s not too late! I can get him a gift here!

Oh my gosh, thank you!

SECURITY: Okay...

Okay, great! It’s not too late!

I can still get Jay a gift!

(Honking)

Uh-oh.

What... Oh, what’s that?

Ugh, it’s just a dime.

It’s just a dime!

(Laughing)

Matt!

You didn’t happen to see a toonie get kicked along here,

hear the jangle of it?

And you didn’t take it, did ya?

Was trying to meet up with my friend.

It’s my birthday today.

(Chuckling)

Tough day for the Bird today.

Tough day for the Bird.

(Bike dinging)

It’s just a piece of tinfoil.

(Laughing)

Who needs ’em?

Champs.

Some new runners for Jay?

Some new shoes?

Okay, how ’bout these Air Force Ones for Bird?

So where do we pay, up at the front?

Shorts?

(Store music playing)

Wow!

Jay will love this!

Look at this!

And does it-- does it match the shoes?

Ah!

Huh?

Fresh!

(Traffic noise)

Oh, I want that toonie right now.

I would put that to good use.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine...

Ten nuggets, god.

Oh, wait a second.

Oh!

Brownie!

♪

No, I’m just getting my friend a B-day present.

How about this?

Does it suit the shorts?

Okay, well, then let’s--

we just gotta complete the look with a shirt.

Colour!

♪

♪

(Motor rumbling)

(Children yelling)

♪

(Exhaling)

♪

Oh boy.

(Sighing)

It’s my birthday.

Thanks.

(Sighing)

(Laughing)

(Sighing)

It’s my birthday.

Thanks.

(Sighing)

Well, I’m gonna go and try to find that toonie.

I know it’s around here somewhere.

(Echoing) Toonie, toonie, toonie...

(Slowed) Okay, listen up!

Here’s the meeting spot, ready?

My dad’s old trick: we’re gonna meet by the toonie.

Jay, are you-- are you okay with this?

Yes, I understand, thank you!

Watch this, I’ll put this toonie on the ground.

Stay by the toonie, okay?

You see a toonie anywhere?

I’m not crazy, I just lost my toonie.

Oh, it’s hot.

(Slowed) Why don’t I just come with you?

Because I-- I wanna get snacks to surprise you, okay?

Okay.

You guys haven’t seen a toonie anywhere, have you?

Just looking for a toonie.

Excuse me, I’m looking for a toonie.

My friend put it down, and we were supposed to

meet at my-- at the toonie.

Banana? Sure.

Thank you!

Mmm!

It’s a rotten banana.

It’s a rotten banana.

It’s rotten.

(Metal screeching)

(Wind blowing)

Heh, my friend’s birthday!

He’s gonna-- He’s gonna go apeshit!

Oh, look at this!

Here it is, look at that!

That’s Jay! That’s Jay!

This is Jay!

(Sad music)

♪

♪

These gifts aren’t for Jay, are they?

(Uplifting music)

I wrecked his B-day.

First by forgetting it, and now this.

♪

You know what, what I should’ve just done is said,

"You know what, Jay?

I know what you want for your B-day: a show at the Rivoli!

And that’s what I’m gonna get ya!"

Come on!

(Panting)

(Coin jangling)

Oh...

Yes!

(Laughing)

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!

(Laughing)

Yes!

(Sad music)

♪

I didn’t really need to find this toonie, did I?

♪

Here.

(Uplifting music)

You can have it.

I don’t need it.

I never did.

Thank you.

♪

Sorry, man!

Oh, sorry!

Hi, how you doing?

Ah, this is genius!

(Panting)

Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before!

(Panting)

Hi, excuse me?

It’s my friend’s birthday, and I’m trying to book a show for...

for us to play here tonight.

What?

JAY: We need to make a good first impression.

MATT: We’re a band, we’re trying to get a show here.

- And what band’s that? - Nirvanna the Band?

MATT: We just want Nirvanna the Band

to play a show at the Rivoli!

JAY: How is the Rivoli ever gonna take us seriously

if you keep pulling (Bleep) like this?

MATT: Bird, come on, bud, I did it for us!

JAY: I’m very happy to go to the ends of the Earth with you.

I hope the future brings us great fortune.

(High-pitched tone)

(High-pitched tone)

(Door shutting)

(Panting)

Matt?

(Panting)

Matt!

Okay, I gotta tell you something.

No, no, no, I gotta tell you something.

You’re not gonna believe this.

So...

No, no, no, no, you don’t...

No, don’t take the wind out of my sails right now.

I’m not trying to, Jay...

- I’ve had quite the day! - Bird, this is not a joke.

It’s still my birthday,

so I deserve the floor right now, alright?

- So let me go first? - You have no idea.

Listen, I had problems with the toonie.

- Alright, Jay... - Okay?

I kept falling down and falling down,

and I realized...

I just wanna give it away.

What fucking toonie?

It was the toonie.

I’m just saying, why am I worried about a toonie

when we’re trying to get a show at the Rivoli?

That’s what I’m saying. Something has changed, okay?

Something has changed.

You’re not wearing your hat.

You’re not the same without your hat.

We can’t do a plan without you wearing your hat.

Can I tell you--

Can you put your hat on and then tell me

what you’re gonna tell me?

It’s weird looking at you without your hat.

This is the craziest day of my life.

Every band has a look.

Yeah, I will put on the hat.

(Ominous music)

(Gasping)

♪

(Shuddering)

♪

(Burping) Just put on the hat.

♪

♪

Matt, what did you wanna tell me?

What’s... changed?

♪

Nothing.

So... nothing has changed?

Nothing’s changed.

Great, okay!

So we can start the day over.

We got the new 4/20 going right now!

Okay, so I actually got a lot of inspiration today because

I kinda went on a walk all over the...

Excuse me.

Yeah, I went all over the city,

and then I found myself in Kensington Market.

I must’ve gone for a little bit of a ride, and...

Can you hit the board, please?

And I met a whole lot of people, including one...

I guess it was sort of like a half-Asian guy,

pigmentation on his skin, and I started telling him

I don’t think I’m gonna count from now on.

♪

’Cause the more you count, the more it is that calculation.

Infinity forevermore.

(Sighing)

I guess I should be honest.

That really wasn’t my idea, it was his idea.

Um... I had to get out of there.

He was trying to (Bleep) me.

Well, it’s over.

Uh, if you’re just having to catch this on your DVR

and you haven’t seen the episode yet,

now is a really good time to turn this off.

I don’t wanna spoil any--

♪