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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:11,579 (Piano playing) 2 00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,547 So, Rivoli has not called us back. 3 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:14,781 Wha-- (Low piano chord) 4 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,917 No. Why? 5 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:19,419 Why did the-- Should I just tell you the plan I have? 6 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,322 - The banner? - The banner? 7 00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:22,956 Yeah, the banner plan didn’t work. 8 00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,391 Do you wanna know the new plan? 9 00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:26,059 - Yes? - Look, NOW Magazine! 10 00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,294 Do you know what this is? 11 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:28,929 One of the most important magazines in Toronto. 12 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,297 And they’ve got a thing called 13 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:31,998 the fucking concert listings, man! 14 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,800 They also have really good top 10, like, 15 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,102 patios this summer to check out. 16 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,436 That’s not what I’m talking about. 17 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,571 I-- Who cares, right? 18 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:38,806 I thought we were doing a NOW Magazine. 19 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,874 No, I’m-- This is my plan, look! 20 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,077 Concert listings, okay? 21 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:47,614 What if we get... in the concert listings for The Rivoli? 22 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,183 The Rivoli doesn’t even have to know! 23 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:53,120 We get NOW Magazine to print us in-- in the concert listings, 24 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:54,821 then we take this to The Rivoli, 25 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,656 and we’re like okay, alright, we’ll play a show! 26 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:57,991 - Sorry! - What the hell? 27 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,459 So-- Well, this is us. This is them, you’re them. 28 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,594 - Oh, okay. - Ready? 29 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:01,761 - Yeah. - Oh, hey. 30 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:02,863 Nirvanna The Band playing a show tonight. 31 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:03,964 Sorry, you have a problem with it? 32 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,131 - Hey, ow! - Bitch. 33 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,266 That hurts when you do the-- 34 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,636 Little-- Little fuck... bitch! 35 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,371 Okay, let’s talk about how we’re actually gonna 36 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,239 call NOW Magazine. 37 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,074 They have to believe that it’s actually The Rivoli calling. 38 00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:15,743 That’s fine, we’ll say-- we’ll just do it right now. 39 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,210 Mime it, ready? Doot doot doot doot! 40 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,378 - Mime? - Mime it. 41 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,880 Oh, so I’m NOW Magazine, okay. 42 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:23,350 Brrr! Brrr! Brrr! Brrr! 43 00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,452 You know, it’s so funny; there’s a real phone beside you. 44 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,754 Why wouldn’t you just pick up that one 45 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,155 rather than mime the nothing? 46 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:29,622 I... 47 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,124 I’m saying look, there’s a real phone right there. 48 00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,593 - Fine, fine. - It’ll just help you. 49 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:33,660 Look, you know what’s gonna happen? 50 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,329 - If you call them... - Brrr! Brrr! 51 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,531 ...it’s gonna say Matt Johnson is calling on the caller ID. 52 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:38,833 Why? 53 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:39,766 - Oh, because I’m-- - Because you’re calling. 54 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,168 Right. 55 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,669 We need it to say The Rivoli? 56 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:43,837 It needs to say The Rivoli. 57 00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,705 - We’ll hack the iPhone. - Hack the iPhone? 58 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,474 Sure, sure, hacking. 59 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,243 - Uh-- - With the big red book? 60 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,678 What does Matthew Lilliard say? 61 00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:55,549 Ooh, Morpheus is fighting Neo, man! 62 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,717 That’s a bit-- That’s a combination of two movies, but-- 63 00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:58,885 Yeah? 64 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,154 Why don’t we just call from The Rivoli? 65 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,488 Oh! We’ll go in disguise! 66 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,924 ♪ 67 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,727 ♪ As long as we got each other 68 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:11,198 ♪ We got the world spinnin’ right in our hands ♪ 69 00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:13,500 ♪ Baby, you and me 70 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,668 ♪ We gotta be 71 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:19,406 ♪ The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreaming ♪ 72 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,141 ♪ As long as we keep on-- 73 00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:31,851 ♪ 74 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:37,157 (Sitcom music playing) 75 00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,826 (Laughtrack, cheering) 76 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,127 - How you doing? - Good. 77 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,431 (Laughtrack) 78 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:53,340 (Crowd howling) 79 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,177 I’ll take a seat on the patio, daddio. 80 00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:00,247 Okay, I think over here is good. 81 00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:05,585 Okay. 82 00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,589 Uh, you know what? I actually have a question. 83 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,424 Do you guys have a phone inside? 84 00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:13,126 I don’t need to use it, I was just wondering if you have one. 85 00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:16,496 Okay, I think I’ll order right now, actually. 86 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,033 So, um... 87 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,667 I’m in for a bit of a light lunch here. 88 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,303 Uh... 89 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,803 What about the crispy calamari? 90 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,240 It’s good? 91 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,008 Uh, wookie balls? 92 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,410 And maybe the guacamole chips? 93 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,714 Uh, what do people normally order when they come in here 94 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,415 just for a light lunch, you know? 95 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,884 (Server talking) 96 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,285 I might-- Yeah, I think I’m gonna do all three. 97 00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,987 (Server talking) 98 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,490 But then I might wanna do a salad and sandwich too, 99 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:44,992 just to lighten it up a little bit. 100 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,226 - Yeah. - You know what I mean? 101 00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:47,794 (Laughing) I do. 102 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,164 Uh, so maybe-- what’s the-- how about The Rivoli house salad? 103 00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:51,198 What’s that all about? 104 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,134 Uh, hi. 105 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,602 Is this NOW Magazine? 106 00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,337 And how about, um... 107 00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:00,707 This is The Rivoli, as you can see from your caller ID. 108 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,376 No mention the caller ID, no reason to... 109 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,710 Hold on one second. 110 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,279 Hey, there’s been a change of plans? 111 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:09,182 There’s gonna be a change of plans on who’s playing the show. 112 00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,351 And you said this Brussel sprout apple salad was good too? 113 00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,093 It’s all good with me, daddio. 114 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,295 Right, yes, the listing. 115 00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:23,764 I know it seems like I’m distracting you, 116 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,365 but don’t let that dist-- 117 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,436 Alright, cool, daddio. 118 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,738 The name is Nirvanna The Band. 119 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,841 Yeah. 120 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,176 And make sure they know that you’re The Rivoli. 121 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,244 Yes. 122 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,084 I know it sounds crazy. 123 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:48,822 Yeah. 124 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:52,960 Okay. 125 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,662 You know what, never mind. 126 00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:57,163 Thank you, thank you so much, and we’re out of here. 127 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,632 Okay, that’s it, we’re gone, they made us! 128 00:04:58,665 --> 00:04:59,666 - Matt, Matt, Matt! - Come on! 129 00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:00,800 So sorry, gotta go, bye! 130 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:05,405 (Laughtrack) 131 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,909 (Sitcom music playing) 132 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,882 (Sitcom music playing) 133 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,885 Come-- Come on, let’s do a quick rehearsal! 134 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,887 (Piano playing) 135 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,590 Mr. Thin, this is his-- argh! 136 00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:25,125 Ohhh! 137 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,360 What? 138 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,996 My suitcoat doesn’t fit anymore! 139 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,998 I’m sorry, it’s our big fat pedophile character, Mr. Thin. 140 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,333 Uh-uh. 141 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,768 Who is always blaming the dryer for shrinking-- 142 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:35,969 It doesn’t have to be a pedophile, just-- 143 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,637 Doesn’t have to be, but that’s his choice. 144 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,607 If it helps you get into character, that’s fine, but I-- 145 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,041 That is the character. 146 00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:44,210 He’s a-- He chooses to be a pedophile. 147 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:45,912 He wasn’t born that way. 148 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,347 Just don’t say it out loud. 149 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:49,349 Well, maybe he is one of these guys who is born that way. 150 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:53,119 And it makes it very difficult for the... LGBT community 151 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,255 to figure out how to criticize them. 152 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,856 That’s my sexuality. 153 00:05:56,890 --> 00:06:02,162 Yeah, you put a-- (Bleep) 154 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,430 Don’t say that. 155 00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:05,498 Oh, it’ll send the whole liberal plane 156 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:07,734 crashing into the ocean, that’s for sure! 157 00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:10,103 "Wait, now we gotta tolerate what?!" 158 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:18,211 You know, there’s a... a whole other galaxy of dark matter 159 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,480 that we’re living in? 160 00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:20,513 Oh boy. 161 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,717 Isn’t that crazy? 162 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,854 Uhh, okay, so... 163 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:36,829 (Piano playing) 164 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,331 Okay, so how do we start the show? 165 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,100 I’m lowered down? 166 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,968 Yeah, we’ll lower me. 167 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,804 On ropes. 168 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,139 (Piano playing) 169 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,641 And you gotta picture me completely naked. 170 00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:56,850 (Mimics choir singing) 171 00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,284 Something goes wrong with the rope. 172 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:03,256 (Screaming) 173 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:08,362 (Traffic noise) 174 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,829 Look at that. 175 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,331 What the hell is going on? 176 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:16,870 (Traffic noise) 177 00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:20,473 It’s like they came out of a portal from 1999. 178 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,545 We fell asleep, and roller blading became cool again. 179 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:28,181 That’s a-- That’s a long fucking nap, culturally. 180 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,921 A little plot update: we’re waiting for the NOW Magazine to 181 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,056 get delivered, and Jay is using the bathroom in the Black Hole, 182 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,891 and... Bird! 183 00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:38,992 You just missed a whole bunch of roller bladers 184 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:39,993 that just went by. 185 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,161 Hi, how you doing? 186 00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:42,595 We’re playing The Rivoli later tonight! 187 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,297 We’re effing empty! 188 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,799 - You don’t think we missed it? - Don’t keep checking! 189 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,534 Yeah, but what if it already got delivered 190 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,668 and they all got gobbled up? 191 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:49,870 Just relax, relax, it’s gonna be here, 192 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,371 and we’re gonna have a whole stack of them. 193 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,206 Yeah, I know, but I’m saying if the NOW Magazine guy 194 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,808 doesn’t show up in the next 30 seconds, 195 00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,811 I’m gonna start just attacking people. 196 00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,346 Calm down, calm down. 197 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:00,413 Stop checking. 198 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,581 Jared, are you sure they get the-- 199 00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:02,715 we’re here at the the right time? 200 00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,017 It’s here, it’s gonna be here-- 201 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,585 Because the box is fucking empty, man! 202 00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:07,153 (Laughing) 203 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,254 We know that tonight’s the night. 204 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,790 I’m not angry, I’m just saying you-- 205 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,158 Oh, here it is, here it is! 206 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,659 Oh, is this the NOW Magazine? Is this the new one? 207 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:14,794 Is this new? 208 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:15,862 Okay, okay, okay, do-- 209 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,431 No, no, okay, alright, alright. 210 00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,832 What does it say? What does it say? 211 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,166 I’m finding out, I’m finding out. 212 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,268 Yes! (Siren blaring) 213 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,769 - Oh shit! - What? 214 00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,738 Hey, this is supposed to say Nirvanna The Band. 215 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:28,074 That’s supposed to-- it says Nirvana. 216 00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,542 This should say Nirvanna The Band. 217 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:30,544 That only says Nirvana. 218 00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:31,778 Ah, wait, wait, wait, wait! 219 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,779 Fuck! 220 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:33,880 What the fuck, Bird? 221 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:35,114 What’d you say to them on the phone? 222 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,382 You’re supposed to say Nirvanna The Band! 223 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,417 I must have... 224 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,785 What did you say on the phone?! 225 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,754 I said Nirvanna The Band, and then he said-- 226 00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,956 and he said, "Nirvana?" like that. 227 00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,724 - And what did you say? - I said yeah! 228 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,295 I felt-- I ----ed it up. 229 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,429 Well, now what?! 230 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:50,997 The shit’s done, the plan’s done! 231 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,833 Okay, well all we need to do is we need to let The Rivoli know 232 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,835 to expect Nirvanna The Band. 233 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,003 What do we do, call The Rivoli from NOW Magazine? 234 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,171 "Oh, hey, it’s supposed to s--" 235 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,306 Call The Rivoli from NOW Magazine! 236 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,675 - We already did th-- - You see? 237 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,043 Oh my god. 238 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,210 It’s just a reverse. 239 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,545 We just got to break into NOW Magazine-- 240 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,080 You just came up with it like as if it was nothing. 241 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,615 You’re cre-- incredible! 242 00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:10,016 I thought you were gonna say, "You’re Kramer!" 243 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,385 You’re-- You’re Kramer! 244 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,353 Actually, which one was Kramer? 245 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,255 I think I’m a bit more Kramer than you. 246 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,956 I mean in the show. Was it the Jewish woman? 247 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,393 The guy who came in the door. 248 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,263 Yeah. 249 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,798 Jerry, I need a pickle! (Laughing) 250 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:32,405 (Seinfeld music playing) 251 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:38,411 (Traffic noise) 252 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,281 Hi, I’m going upstairs. 253 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,748 Oh, I go up this way, don’t I? 254 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,420 Okay, cool, thank you. 255 00:09:51,925 --> 00:10:01,601 (Traffic noise) 256 00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:06,439 It’s a stakeout. 257 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,942 Pretty much, Matt’s at NOW Magazine, okay? 258 00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:11,978 He’s calling The Rivoli so that they can see on the caller ID 259 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,213 that it’s NOW Magazine; he’s gonna make a correction. 260 00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,649 (Motor roaring) 261 00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:19,352 Wow, that was awesome! 262 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,922 Come on... 263 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,857 (Banging) Ah jeez. 264 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,959 Hide, hide! (Knocking) 265 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,096 Hi, I’m doing a line test, is that okay? 266 00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,468 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 267 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,977 Hi, sorry, do you guys use your land lines in here? 268 00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:47,413 Would it be a huge inconvenience if I just 269 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,748 ran a quick line test on this? 270 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,150 Okay, thank you so much. 271 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,218 You can stay there, this will just take me a second. 272 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,453 How do I-- How do I dial out here? 273 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,289 Okay. 274 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:11,838 (Phone ringing) 275 00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:13,306 (Beeping) 276 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,175 Hello? 277 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,711 Uh, hi. 278 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:20,480 I’m actually doing-- This is NOW Magazine. 279 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,582 Matt? 280 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,552 Bird? 281 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:27,587 Uhhh... 282 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,624 Bird, what are you doing? 283 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,792 I-- I stole-- I stole the Rivoli’s phone. 284 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,627 It was by accident! 285 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,162 It was when we were running away before, and you were in 286 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,797 the fat suit, and we had to get out of there really quickly, 287 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,765 and so I just put the phone in my pocket and... 288 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:40,933 Are you in there right now? 289 00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,669 Uh, yeah, we’re in NOW Magazine right now. 290 00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:44,103 Oh my god! 291 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,538 What do I do? 292 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,806 Matt, I need a plan, I need a classic plan right now. 293 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,975 Jay, just hand the phone to-- to someone there. 294 00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:51,377 Okay, yeah, yeah, I can do this, I can do this. 295 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,713 I will return the phone back to The Rivoli. 296 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,348 That’s... Can you not talk right now? 297 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,049 Exactly. 298 00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,419 Are you incognito? 299 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:00,686 Yes. 300 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,854 You’re undercover! 301 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,690 Okay, okay, I got this, I got this. 302 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,359 The next voice you hear is gonna be The Rivoli’s. 303 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,394 Bird, give them the fucking phone, hurry up. 304 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:19,673 ♪ 305 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:20,807 Oh ----! 306 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,444 Ohhh ----! (Honking) 307 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,045 Wait, wait, stop, stop! 308 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,214 Oh... Oh my god! 309 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,016 No, no, no, no! (Honking) 310 00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:33,085 (Gasping) 311 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,086 ----! 312 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,955 (Streetcar bell dinging) 313 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:37,190 ----! (Honking) 314 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,357 Sorry, one sec. 315 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,626 (Honking) 316 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:44,564 Uhh, sorry, this will just take one more second. 317 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,765 - Bird? - Matt! 318 00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,500 (Honking) Matt! 319 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:48,802 Matt, hello, hello?! 320 00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:51,171 Hi, this is David calling from NOW Magazine. 321 00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:53,807 One sec, one sec! (Street car honking) 322 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,008 ----! 323 00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,543 ...mistake in the recent issue that went out. 324 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,879 In-- Instead of Nirvana, it should say Nirvanna The Band. 325 00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,046 Okay, thank you. 326 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,684 (Dial tone) 327 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,586 (Sighing) 328 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:10,289 Thank you, good bye. 329 00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,292 Okay, go, go, go, go! 330 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:26,940 (Busker music playing) 331 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,042 ♪ It made me feel so good inside ♪ 332 00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,444 ♪ So peaceful so sublime 333 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,312 ♪ Now there’s nothing that reminds me ♪ 334 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,882 ♪ Of that old familiar chime 335 00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:37,850 ♪ Except you 336 00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,552 ♪ Yeah you 337 00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:43,189 ♪ 338 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,958 ♪ I used to play in the cemeteries ♪ 339 00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:49,128 ♪ Dance and laugh and sing when I was a child ♪ 340 00:13:53,499 --> 00:14:03,542 (Piano playing) 341 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:14,120 (Piano playing) 342 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,321 (Door opening) Okay! 343 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,656 (Door slamming) 344 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,491 Okay. 345 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,094 Well, Bird, I really gotta hand it to ya! 346 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:27,266 That was about the greatest plan we have ever done! 347 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,636 You completely redeemed yourself! 348 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,372 I’m in NOW Magazine, and I got the phone, and then 349 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,475 just like you said next voice you hear will be The Rivoli’s! 350 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:38,211 And I heard the hello, and I told them the whole plan! 351 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:39,746 You heard them say hello? 352 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,015 Whoever you handed the phone to was like, "Hello?" 353 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,616 And then I told them the whole thing, 354 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,885 I told them about Nirvana the wrong-- Nirvanna The Band! 355 00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:48,053 I thought everything was completely fucked, 356 00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:50,389 you took the phone, and we fucking did it! 357 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,492 Okay, just maybe-- let’s not get our hopes up too much. 358 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,960 Why are you in such a bummer mood, man? 359 00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,963 Everything just worked-- that was the first time ever! 360 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:59,198 It went-- a perfectly executed plan! 361 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:01,134 (Exhaling) Uh... 362 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:05,305 (Sighing) 363 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,472 What is that? 364 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:08,807 What is that? 365 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,378 This is, uh... 366 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,247 What is it? 367 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,682 This is... This is... 368 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,184 What is-- Just tell me what it is. 369 00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:20,453 - I was gonna tell ya. - Yeah, exactly. 370 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,589 Tell me what that is. 371 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,224 Enough build up, I’m just gonna tell you what this is. 372 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,558 I’m-- Who’s saying build up? 373 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,959 Tell me what the thing is. 374 00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,461 You took it out of your pocket, it’s obviously relevant. 375 00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,628 Oh, um... 376 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,266 It’s nothing. 377 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,500 What’s going on? 378 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,338 No, for r-- okay, wait, wait, wait, no, stop! 379 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,639 - What’s going on? - I’m gonna tell you. 380 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:40,907 What is the fucking thing? 381 00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:42,341 - What’s the green thing? - Just relax. 382 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,576 I’m gonna tell you what this is, okay? 383 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:44,744 Do I not look relaxed? 384 00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,946 Here I am breaking into NOW Magazine making 385 00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:51,284 prank fucking phone calls, having them change NOW Magazine 386 00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:54,286 after wearing a fat suit trying to call the other way! 387 00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,487 You’re gonna laugh when you hear this. 388 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:56,723 I can’t wait! 389 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:57,924 It’s dizzy in here. 390 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,125 Do you think it’s dizzy in here? 391 00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:01,427 Okay. 392 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,763 Part of the piano! 393 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,765 It’s just part of the piano. 394 00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:09,502 That’s in the piano? 395 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:12,639 It broke off the piano. 396 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:13,840 Yes! 397 00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,007 Does it still work when you play? 398 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,543 Yeah. 399 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:17,644 Oh, thank god, okay. 400 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:18,711 I-- Okay, good. 401 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,079 So you won’t need that for tonight. 402 00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,580 - Do we have to fix it? - No, I’m just gonna-- 403 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,082 I’m just gonna put it in my pocket. 404 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,116 We got it, okay? 405 00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:25,217 We got it. 406 00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,919 I’m gonna change, we’re gonna go. 407 00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,254 Okay, come on, come on! 408 00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:30,256 Tonight’s the big night! 409 00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,057 Hey, for real? 410 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,292 I’m proud of you. 411 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,661 Thank you so much. 412 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,596 It took a lot of confidence to get that phone. 413 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:37,663 It’s okay, no... 414 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:40,433 You showed a huge moment of courage. 415 00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:43,336 And by the way, congratulations. 416 00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:45,304 You really came through today. 417 00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:50,243 (Chuckling) 418 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,377 I think I kinda had you wrong. 419 00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:52,745 Okay, enough! I don’t need a-- 420 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,615 Hey, you’re... a pretty special guy. 421 00:16:55,681 --> 00:17:06,759 (Dramatic music playing) 422 00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,827 I’ll walk up, show ’em the NOW mag... 423 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,196 I can’t believe we’re doing this! 424 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:11,498 High five for good luck. 425 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,032 - I... - Ready? 426 00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,867 (Sighing) 427 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,636 Hey guys. 428 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,204 Hey man, how you doing? 429 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,140 Um, our band is-- Jay, come on! 430 00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:21,840 Our band is playing a show tonight, this is us. 431 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,910 I think somebody from NOW Magazine called earlier 432 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,679 to say that this was supposed to be Nirvanna The Band 433 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:27,880 and not Nirvana. 434 00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,082 We are Nirvanna The Band. 435 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,850 There was some kind of a mix up, but... 436 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,385 Okay... 437 00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:44,163 (Dramatic music playing) 438 00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:45,431 - It’s supposed to say-- - Nirvana? 439 00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:47,132 It’s supposed to say Nirvanna The Band. 440 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:59,245 (Dramatic music playing) 441 00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,781 I’m sorry, I need to tell you something. 442 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:04,717 What? 443 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,753 Earlier today, when I told you that I brought the phone back 444 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:11,124 to The Rivoli... I lied. 445 00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:12,825 (Uplifting music playing) 446 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,827 Wh-- What? Why? 447 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,396 I screwed up. 448 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,931 I broke the phone. 449 00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,599 So I was talking to who? 450 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,300 - Who said hello? - It was me. 451 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,435 Why didn’t you say something? 452 00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:23,970 I broke the phone in a million pieces. 453 00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:28,040 You were-- I wanted to tell you, but you were so proud of me, 454 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,542 and that made me feel so good. 455 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,044 Uh-huh? 456 00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:37,850 I guess I’m just feeling a little bit ashamed. 457 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,754 (Uplifting music play-- You fucking idiot! 458 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,455 What the fuck is wr-- Sorry, sorry. 459 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,624 God dammit! 460 00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:48,494 Hey, dude! You look good, dude! 461 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,729 Well, it’s the worst night of my life. 462 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,197 What’s wrong?! What happened?! 463 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:52,998 We were supposed to play The Rivoli and it didn’t happen. 464 00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,467 - What the fuck?! - I know. 465 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,468 Your band? 466 00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:56,535 Yeah, we’re playing tonight. 467 00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:57,703 Hang on, brother, hang on, hang on. 468 00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:58,804 We were playing tonight. 469 00:18:58,838 --> 00:18:59,806 - Yeah? - Yeah. 470 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,140 Oh, dudes! 471 00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:04,843 Hey, could you dudes fucking spare like 50 cents? 472 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,579 I’m just short for one beer, dude. 473 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,081 We don’t have it. You have it? 474 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,182 - You have 50 cents? - Yeah. 475 00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:10,783 Anything, man. 476 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,285 Here’s three bucks. 477 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:13,886 Three bucks? Dude! 478 00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:14,887 Have a nice night. 479 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,321 Holy shit! 480 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,491 You’re the-- Hey, what’s your name? 481 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:19,658 - We’re Matt and Jay. - Your band. 482 00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,260 - Nirvanna The Band. - Nirvanna The Band. 483 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:23,061 - Nirvanna The Band? - Yeah. 484 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,364 - So you do cover songs? - Uh, we do it all. 485 00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:27,533 - Yeah, we do everything. - Oh fuck! 486 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,602 You’re in, dude! 487 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,670 Hey, my friend is saying rock and roll! 488 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,139 Hey, say it again! 489 00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:36,542 Whoa! 490 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,844 (Chattering) 491 00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:41,047 - Thanks a lot! - See you later! 492 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,254 Did you hear that? 493 00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:49,789 What? 494 00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,824 You’re in, dude! 495 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,426 We’re in. 496 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,197 Yeah, what does that mean, we’re in? 497 00:19:58,264 --> 00:19:59,265 We’re in, I don’t know. 498 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,432 We’re in, dude. 499 00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,704 - We’re in, dude. - We’re in. 500 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:13,245 Yeah, we are in! 501 00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:26,425 (Sitcom music playing) 502 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:31,297 ♪ 503 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:46,079 (Piano playing) 504 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,580 Hip! 505 00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:48,781 Yahoo! 506 00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:49,815 Yow! 507 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:50,917 Yoo! 508 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,251 Hee! 509 00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,520 Yoshi is trying to get up my ass! 510 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:55,988 - Am I doing the jump or no? - Of course! 511 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:57,523 I’m doing the cave boost... 512 00:20:57,556 --> 00:20:58,824 like that! 513 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,560 Yesss! 514 00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:03,562 Um, I don’t touch pine trees! 515 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,765 I don’t touch palm trees! 516 00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:07,733 I don’t touch crabs, I don’t touch-- Ahhh! 517 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,168 Dodged the crabs! 518 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,536 (Piano playing) 519 00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:12,037 You know what, I’m gonna let him catch up. 520 00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,906 - Do some courses-- - No, don’t! 521 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,107 ’Cause then we’ll have to start over! 522 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,309 I’m doing some wrong way! 523 00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:17,643 You’ll have to start the whole GP over again! 524 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:18,978 I’m doing some reverse and I’m still gonna win. 525 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,846 You’ve always been that ----ing kid 526 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,681 who’s always going in reverse and running out 527 00:21:22,748 --> 00:21:24,450 in the middle of the desert in Calamari Desert. 528 00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:25,985 - I can show off. - You’re wasting time! 529 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,286 I’m building my skills. 530 00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:28,620 I’m not playing music for you anymore. 531 00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:30,189 I wanna hear that song. 532 00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:34,459 (Piano playing) 533 00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:35,728 I’m doing it! 534 00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:37,263 Fuck! 535 00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:39,097 You see, you wanna know what the mistake we made today was? 536 00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:40,566 Nobody is reading NOW Magazine. 537 00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:41,834 Yeah? 538 00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:43,802 - I love print media. - You love print media? 539 00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:45,971 - I like print media. - You like print media? 540 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,606 (Burping) I like print media. 541 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,810 But NOW Magazine is basically a feminist weekly! 542 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:52,611 I’m a fem-- I’m a feminist. 543 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,980 Oh, me too, absolutely. 544 00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:59,318 Yeah, that’s what you say to kind of avoid being like... 545 00:21:59,351 --> 00:22:00,986 That’s what you say. 546 00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:04,824 Shh, okay. Come on, baby. 547 00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:06,125 I’m going through, I’m about to finish! 548 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,027 - Santa Claus Parade. - Great, man. 549 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,194 Check it out, I’m going! 550 00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,264 Yes! 551 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:13,732 Fuck you, Donkey Kong! 552 00:22:13,766 --> 00:22:21,774 ♪ 38557

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