Original subtitles

Happy birthday!

Happy first birthday!

So cute!

Look at her high-bridged nose.

Just like her dad.

That's true!

They have the same nose!

- So prominent! - Yeah, just like her dad.

Nonsense! You're lying through your teeth.

Her dad's nose is so flat.

The baby's eyes are so big.

She got them from her mom.

Everyone knows the mom had cosmetic eye surgery.

I-Ling,

long time no see!

The baby is so cute!

Yeah.

I-Ling,

do you feel like having a baby, like everyone else?

Do you feel like dying at a funeral?

Marriage and having children are like contagious diseases.

Congratulations!

A few years ago, when I had turned 30…

They look so happy!

Friends see others getting married and feel like it's their turn.

It's like at a graduation ceremony.

It's like watching your classmates go up to receive their diplomas,

while you're still retaking classes.

You naturally feel left behind

and catch the "marriage fever."

- Congrats! - Here's some fruit for you.

Enjoy!

I-Ling, you're 30. Get married, or you might miss out.

Meet someone!

Look,

over there,

at the man in the dark suit.

That's my nephew!

He has a car,

a house,

and respects his parents.

This kind of guy is the best!

Auntie, have some watermelon!

- It cools you down. - This grainy texture, I don't like it!

Let me introduce you to someone.

With your great qualities,

staying single must mean you're too picky!

You really shouldn't be too picky. It's just about living life together.

How about it?

You're picky about watermelon,

so why can't I be picky?

At 18, I moved alone to Tainan for school and work.

I paid for my tuition and living expenses.

I graduated and relocated to Taipei for work.

Despite the high rent, I managed to send money home every month.

I'm so outstanding.

Why settle in marriage?

There are just too few outstanding men.

Why blame me for being picky?

When you finally get married,

you see others having kids one after another.

It feels especially contagious.

You find babies adorable when you see them.

The baby's head smells so soothing. I want one too!

But did you know?

Pregnancy might cause stroke, retinal disease,

hypertension, diabetes, epilepsy,

and tearing from vagina to anus.

Congratulations!

When are you due?

Honey,

my mom said not to get home too late.

Why?

She's cooking tonight.

Can we not go home for dinner today?

She said my uncles are coming over, and she hoped…

we could all eat together.

Didn't we just eat together last week?

Yeah.

MOM: A HAPPY FAMILY REUNION.

IN-LAW: A HAPPY FAMILY REUNION.

MOM: STAY SAFE, SKIP THE BOOZE.

Ultimately,

we are brainwashed by fairy tales,

believing princes and princesses

live happily ever after together.

Screw you!

What the heck?

What's wrong? Can't you hold it together?

Just one second more!

How am I supposed to edit this?

Not happy with him? Solve it after work.

Going back and forth makes it hard for both you and me!

Advertising sells a lifestyle,

making you think your life will improve if you buy it,

but you don't really need it.

Like a diamond.

Rings and proposals weren't always linked.

A diamond company made

an incredibly successful ad

equating eternal love with diamonds.

Men began

saving hard to buy an expensive stone.

Diamonds last forever, true love lasts a lifetime.

Hello?

The director's there?

Why did he arrive so early?

Okay, I'll pack up and head over now.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Are you okay?

Sorry.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

You're bleeding.

Where is it broken?

Let me see.

How did this happen?

Hello?

Can you hear me?

Don't panic.

I'll call an ambulance.

I'll take you to the hospital.

Do you want to go to the hospital?

You…

have a nosebleed.

Life, like editing,

is full of choices.

The difference is, life has no script.

We don't know if fate will gift me a Jacky Xue-you Cheung.

I am Zeng Xue-you,

as in Cheung Xue-you.

Are you an engineer?

Have a seat.

The disc and read/write head seem fine.

It's not making strange noises either.

The motor drive is stable,

so the data inside should be fine.

Thank God.

Yeah.

By the way, are you using Windows or Mac?

Mac.

For Mac, I'll back it up on a new one for you,

so your data won't get damaged when you return.

Thanks.

I am really sorry.

You're hurt, yet… you're helping me with this.

Have you eaten? Can I buy you some food?

No need, I've already eaten.

I ate and was on my way back when…

I am sorry.

No, I'm really sorry too.

Let it run for a moment.

This brand is amazing.

I had a small one before.

What are the maximum storage capacities?

This one is 12TB, and it can go up to 60TB.

Awesome.

Yeah.

How about home and business hard drives?

What's the difference?

Usage time differs.

Businesses can use it 24 hours a day.

With a five-year warranty, that's 43,800 hours.

For home use, it's 10,000 hours max.

Business-grade hard drives

use premium capacitors made from high-quality materials

Oh, I see.

I'll buy the business one.

Doesn't HDD have one with a max of 16TB?

I had a RAID 5 with five hard drives but only 1TB.

What are you laughing at?

Nothing.

This is the first time… a girl talks to me about hard drives.

Done.

How much for this hard drive?

Free of charge.

No way, a 4T drive must be expensive.

No, really, it's a gift from me.

Did you just hit your head?

No, I have plenty here.

I don't really need this one.

You can have it.

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

HARD DISKS LAST FOREVER,

TRUE LOVE LASTS A LIFETIME.

Good luck with your film!

Thank you.

Bye.

Bye.

Wait.

Wait.

Some say

men fall in love easily,

because they mistake an erection

for a pounding heart.

But I don't have a penis, so…

it must be my heart racing.

PRESENT

Mom.

Sleep. It's still early.

It's 5:00 a.m. Go to sleep.

It's okay.

I'm just taking out the trash. Sleep. No…

I'll handle it.

I-Ling.

Are you throwing out all these bags?

Yeah, I don't want them.

Can I have them?

I'll use them as trash bags!

Okay.

Thank you.

Sleep.

I-Ling.

Are you throwing out this pen too?

Yes, because it's out of ink.

Can I have it?

Okay.

Thanks.

Sleep.

Mom.

I can wash it,

just leave it there.

I'll handle it!

You young people work hard every day.

You must be tired and exhausted.

You should sleep more.

Sleep more. Go.

Here.

Sleep.

My underwear.

Damn it!

Three years ago,

we got married and were supposed to live here for one year.

It's been three years.

When will you tell your mom we're moving out?

Housing prices have soared. Let's wait, okay?

It's always expensive.

But if we move out now,

we'll need to pay for a mortgage,

that would make things tougher.

Didn't we already discuss this?

Just buy what we can afford!

When will you tell your mom?

I…

Xue-you,

breakfast is ready!

I'll tell her.

You always say that. You say that all the time.

- Mom, good morning. - Good morning.

Eat your porridge while it's hot.

Okay.

Today's ribbon fish may be too salty.

Try it.

How is it? Too salty?

It's just right.

I told you not to talk while eating fish, or you'll choke on a bone.

Remember?

I made your lunch box.

Xue-you, eat more vegetables.

So cute.

How is it?

Delicious.

Really?

Let me taste it.

Here, you try it too.

Delicious.

Egg?

Two.

Two eggs.

Mom.

Let me.

Thank you.

No big deal.

Mom, take a break.

Bye, Mom and Dad!

Bye, Mom and Dad!

We've been living here for three years. I still feel like an outsider.

Is he the one?

Everyone is born with half a soul.

Only by meeting your match,

do you become whole.

Your soulmate

is on

Soul Mate Hub.

Nice.

This part is well-edited.

That's right.

My heart skips a beat.

I also love this version the most.

So… is this the final cut?

Okay.

Thank you. Great job!

- Thank you. Great job! - Great job!

Thanks, Director!

No, thank you.

Soul Mate Hub is now available. Download it on Android or iOS today.

Right.

Data insights are spot on.

It can absolutely find your soulmate.

Download it!

Right. Let's do it.

Download it!

- Download it! - Thanks.

This app is purely text-based.

No photos,

just soulful connections.

And…

it's also for married people.

I am single.

Take a seat.

- Leave some nice comments. - Take a seat.

Take a seat.

Thank you all.

It's no trouble,

not at all.

Remember to give us five stars!

Sure.

No problem.

Thanks.

Ask me anything!

That's not necessary. It's all explained clearly.

YOUR NICKNAME

SUNNY LOGIN

- Bye. Safe travels. - Thank you. Great job.

Take care.

That was too much!

Keep your voice down!

They pushed us to download it and promoted cheating.

Doesn't it sound quite sexy to you?

IN-LAW: GUA-GUA'S EATING ON HIS OWN. ADORABLE!

Is that your son?

He's so grown-up.

The neighbor's kid.

Your mom-in-law is giving you some clever, subtle hints.

Doesn't she know you don't want kids?

She knows,

but knowing and accepting are two different things.

She keeps saying,

"It's up to you,

whether to have kids or not."

She wishes a baby would pop out the moment I open my legs.

She's such a hypocrite!

Don't you think it's ironic?

Everyone, both men and women, say,

"Study hard, grow up, and strive to get a good job."

But after 30, everyone says,

"Women shouldn't love work so much."

"Get married earlier."

"Have kids earlier."

That's strange.

Why should women over 30

only aim to be good wives and mothers?

Were you joking when you told me to work hard for 30 years?

NaNa,

what do you want to eat?

Why not ask me?

You have a lunchbox.

You can have it.

Don't be so picky.

She cooks for you every day.

So sweet!

Low oil, low salt, no scallions.

Try eating this every day!

That's so healthy.

Your mom-in-law loves you.

Grilled meat rice?

Love you!

You two jerks!

- Match. - Oh my God.

How many dating apps are you using?

More than ten.

What?

No one wants me anyway!

It's good that you know.

Just don't say it out loud.

Look, so many young people, even younger than you.

18, 20, 20, and 18 years old.

This is Paul.

He got divorced four years ago because his wife cheated on him.

Now, he's a golden bachelor.

Honey.

- Call me as soon as you land. - Okay.

- Do you remember the due date? - April…

April 29th.

That's NaNa.

She's dated men of all zodiac signs.

She accidentally got pregnant by an Aries.

She wants a baby, not a marriage.

- Didn't you watch that yesterday? - I want to watch it again with subtitles.

- You didn't understand it without them? - Not really.

I just want to see my idol's cute face.

This is Chi.

She's a proud single person.

She only admires Korean idols on TV,

avoiding regular guys to stay carefree.

How about

we have stir-fry tonight?

- Let's go eat at that place… - Stir-Fry Heaven.

Stir-Fry Heaven.

It's His Sis Day.

That's too much!

Every Friday night,

my sister-in-law's family dines with us.

Read me a story please, Aunt.

My in-law makes eight dishes and one soup,

making every week feel like a New Year holiday.

Just a moment, wait a bit.

The busiest place is the bathroom.

"I can't help but feel sad, holding…"

Someone's always in there.

"Ran out, holding back tears."

"The prince and princess lived happily ever after."

The end.

One more book.

I just read that one.

Read it again, please.

Chloe,

did you notice

that the prince

always looks the same?

Fairy tales are all lies,

the prince was a bigamist.

What is a bigamist?

A bigamist

means…

He married Snow White already, but now he wants to marry Sleeping Beauty,

then the Little Mermaid,

and Cinderella too.

Look,

his smile is shameless.

I'm telling you,

make sure you choose wisely.

Don't end up with someone like this.

You're a liar.

You should eat more vegetables.

I forgot to mention my dad-in-law.

He usually plays chess with himself.

If you talk to him…

Voltage is classified as low, high, or ultra-high.

Household voltage is 110V

or 220V.

- 3,000V. - Give the meat to Xue-you.

3,300V,

11,000V,

22,000V.

Ultra-high voltage can reach 161,000V.

He's retired from the power company.

My mom-in-law does everything.

He's like a plant at home,

and you barely notice him.

Come on, eat more vegetables.

I-Ling.

Mom.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Not at all.

I-Ling, thank you.

For what?

You're not helping.

I've thought of a secret. I tried it with your brother-in-law.

It's the position that got us Chloe.

I don't want kids.

Raise your butt

when you make love.

I don't want kids.

Then, lift your leg as high as possible.

Stretch the… as much as you can.

and… when it's inserted inside…

Reach the deepest spot,

and wait there.

Don't move.

There's a cockroach.

Mom!

Mom!

Where? Mom.

Where?

- Here. - Where?

- Take it. - Here you go.

- You… - No.

Here.

I think you're so sexy now.

Really?

I'll take out the trash later too.

You're awesome!

Remember,

if Mom asks us to go pray tomorrow, tell her I have to work early.

I can't take any more exorcism. Every time, it feels like I'm going blind.

Okay.

Xue-you.

Leave it.

I'll wash it, just leave it.

Go… go eat some fruit. Go.

Leave it.

Thanks, Mom.

I-Ling.

Yes, Mom.

Tomorrow is the 15th.

Come pray with me.

It's better to pray every month.

Mom, she works early tomorrow.

Is that so?

- When do you start? - I need to be at the office by 9:00.

That's so early.

We'll go at 5:00 then.

We'll make it on time.

Bodhisattva, bless us with children

and grandchildren.

Please.

May our bloodline be blessed to live on forever.

Bodhisattva, bless the Zeng family with grandchildren.

Please, Bodhisattva, bless them.

While the Bodhisattva

practiced deep wisdom.

He saw that all five aggregates are empty

and he frees from all suffering.

Sariputra,

form is not different from emptiness,

emptiness is no different from form,

Form is emptiness, and emptiness is form.

I want a divorce.

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