Original subtitles

Just the girl I've been waiting for.

- Hiya, bonbon! - Oh! Ray! Put me down.

'You big ox! Put me down.'

Ha ha ha! Put me down!

- Put me down. - Alright.

Uh, he's a friend of mine.

I've never seen you in this uniform before.

Ray Conner, this is Jon Baker, Frank Poncherello.

'Hi.'

Look, Mr. Conner, about the way you drove in here--

I was just showing off for Bonnie.

Wasn't very smart.

- I'm sorry. - Ray.

- It's no big deal. - Come on.

I'll show you where to park your car.

Look, on the road, I drive by the book, okay?

Nice meeting you.

Ray, I need more time.

This pressure's making it worse.

Alright. I'll take you to dinner.

No pressure. Just you and me.

Alright?

'Cause you mean a lot to me.

That's pressure.

Alright. You take me to dinner.

What?

Oh!

Who's Bonnie with? Is that her new heartthrob?

- Heartthrob? - Well, you know what I mean.

She's got something on her mind.

Some dude was here to see her.

- I thought he left. - She met up with him out back.

Yeah. His name is Ray Conner.

Ray Conner?

'The stunt driver'

with the "Joie Chitwood Thrill Show?"'

Is that who she's dating?

I don't know. I didn't meet him.

The Chitwood Show is in town or it's coming.

Oh, come on, guys.

We got no right to pry into Bonnie's private life.

And it doesn't matter who she goes out with.

It's none of our business. So forget it, alright?

I'll find out.

Jon, you know as well as I do

in a high-speed chase on a motorcycle

you're at the mercy of the inherent instability

of the single-track vehicle.

What?

In danger, man.

Only two wheels on the ground.

If you get up to 70-80 miles an hour

do you know what the department says to do?

Call a car and slow down.

You know...I never thought I'd hear the day

that you said "slow down" but you're right.

We take too many chances.

And I've been the worst, I know.

But not anymore, not me. Nope, not me.

Going to be Mr. Careful, huh?

No. Let's just say Mr. Cool.

Next street is ours.

Right at the next corner.

- Hey, listen, man-- - Stuff it.

Turn right.

Uh, ladies and gents..

'...me and me two mates, uh, don't want you to be too late'

to wherever you might be going, so just deposit your wallets

and money clips into that nice big sack.

'Lively now, and we'll soon be on our way.'

Let's go take a look at the freeway, huh?

Right. A little excitement.

Maybe some high-speed pursuits.

You've been a wonderful group.

Have a nice day.

Hey! Come here!

'We need some help over here!'

'Come on. Everybody hold on.'

- Hey! - Come on!

Now, maybe we can get some help.

We had a robbery. Three men robbed the bus.

Took off in a tan Sedan in that direction.

Alright. Wait here.

You get hurt? Somebody get hurt?

You alright?

- Phew. - Ha ha ha.

You guys are alright.

Stamped with the right label, I say.

Oh, man, I still don't believe that we did that.

I am so scared that I'm still shaking.

Davey Mulach, you're the best bass player

I ever heard.

Who cares if you're a nervous thief?

Hey, man, if we get enough loot

we'll be pressing a demo record within a week.

Yeah, super. That's if we're not pressing license plates first.

- You didn't find them, huh? - No. Not yet.

Did you get the license number of that car?

Yeah. It was 3-5-0 B-A-R or 8-5-0 B-A-R.

Anything?

They could have gone a dozen different ways.

- Hey, you guys need any help? - Well, we're--

Okay. Ciao.

We're there.

Hey, man, I..

I don't think we got more than a $100 here.

It just ain't worth the risk we took.

It's a hundred more than we had.

Hey, how's a fledgling artist supposed to get on

when he steps off the boat in a foreign land?

Yeah, yeah, you're just off the boat

like I'm just off the Planet Mars.

Lighten up, Dave.

If we're going to cut a decent demo

we've got to pay for backup musicians

studio time, equipment, supplies.

We need a lot of grease.

'We need some very heavy grease.'

Yeah, I-I know, Malcolm, but..

...stealing, man, that.. that just ain't my scam.

Well, look, think of it as borrowing, Davey

from a public that will soon

be worshipping at our shrine.

Yeah, man!

♪ Well you think I look so bad ♪

♪ Yeah yeah

♪ Well you ought to read my mind ♪

♪ Yeah yeah

♪ 'Cause those that know what's coming down ♪

♪ Are never so unkind

♪ Are never so unkind

♪ Never so unkind

♪ Never so unkind

♪ Never so unkind

♪ Are never so unkind

Hey, Bonnie!

I guess once I've knocked

it's too late to say..

"I hope I'm not intruding."

Well, come on in. Come on in.

Betty's off to her art class, and, uh, Timmy's asleep

and I'm just, well, I'm putting in some hobby time.

Hey, can I get you anything?

- Coffee would do fine. - Okay. Wait just a minute.

Here you go. Sit down.

And don't worry, I'll only, uh..

...stay long enough for you to tell me..

...what to do with the rest of my life.

Well, if it was that easy

you could've just phoned me.

Uh, I've heard about a handsome stranger

so, uh, my voices tell me

you've just come from a heavy date.

He was a high-school senior, I was 9 years old.

And I fell madly in love.

Oh. We're talking about..

- Ray Conner. - Ah, right.

Actually, we're talking about

this hot little go-cart he had.

He taught me how to drive it.

He taught me everything I know about professional driving.

That's right. You were into dirt track racing, right?

Hey, I was the dirt track queen

of Marion County, Iowa.

Oh, well. Your Majesty.

Anyway, I quit to go to college

and Ray went on to the big time.

He's with the "Joie Chitwood Show."

Joie Chitwood. He's terrific.

Anyway...they're thinking of adding a girl to the show.

Ray's been talking up my case.

And I'm a darn good driver.

He made me an offer last week.

What do your voices say to them apples?

First voice, loud and clear.

Tell them, No thanks. You're a happy cop.

They're offering me almost $30,000.

Twice as much money for half the work.

And I love it.

Well, second voice says, um..

resign, accept.

The offer's too good to pass up.

That's Ray Conner's good advice.

Well, listen, my voices have all the answers.

You just pick the one you like best.

The best advice is no advice.

- Is that it? - But, uh..

So, you won't think that I'm trying to, uh, cop out.

You see these things?

I cut and polish them as a...as a hobby.

- They're beautiful. - Yeah.

They're crystalline quartz.

I'm...sort of a geologist, Bonnie.

Believe it or not, I'm a closet expert

on gemstones.

About four years ago

a dealer made me a fabulous offer.

Obviously, I didn't accept, for one reason only.

'I used my vacation time'

'to acquaint myself with the job.'

'And you know what I found out?'

For me...there was nothing quite as right

as what I was doing.

The patrol.

What if it turned out the other way for me?

Well, um..

We would give you a farewell party

that would make the Mardi Gras

look like a halo salesmen's convention.

- Look. - What?

'Slow down, Skeet.'

That's it, lads.

'The new target.'

What are you talking about?

Yesterday, only $100 and change

not worth the risk, I think you said.

It wasn't. We need $2,000.

We picked the wrong bus, a commuter bus.

Commuters carry lunch money.

But think of tourists, Davey Boy.

Yeah, shoppin' money.

Cameras, souvenirs we can pawn before anyone's the wiser.

Oh, man.

- Skeet, we'll need a car. - Okay.

Dave, you line up the pawn shops.

And tomorrow we'll find ourselves

a Hollywood tour..

- ...for the taking. - That-a-boy, Mal!

Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you'll look quickly

to your right, you'll get a peek at

'what used to be the Jade Cafe'

'the stars' favorite cocktail spot.'

'It's that little shoe store.'

Now, there's plenty of time

for you all to reload your cameras

while we make our way to the Chinese Theatre

for prints of Hollywood's immortals.

Ladies and gentlemen

'are we all having a wonderful trip?'

- Yes. - Yeah.

- Very nice. - 'Very nice.'

Now comes the time of reckoning.

Me mate will pass among you with a nice big sack for you

to put your valuables into.

'Watches, wallets

cameras, jewelry, cash.'

No sniveling, no holdouts.

You be nice

and we'll be nice.

It's in a very worthy cause.

You really want to get somebody hurt?

'Don't shoot. He's just nervous. That's all.'

Hey, that bus just ran over my motorcycle.

Okay. I'll send a unit.

15, 7 David.

Any unit in the vicinity of Sepulveda north of Culver?

7 David, Mary 3 and 4 westbound

Wilshire from Westwood.

Jon, got a hit and run holiday tour bus.

Uh, might be a hijack situation.

- Can you come south? - 10-4.

It's been a great pleasure, folks.

I want you to have a fine tale to tell

all your friends back home.

Welcome to Hollywood.

10-97, Jeb. Sarana east of Sepulveda.

Hey! We need help!

Over here! Here!

They took off.

You've got to help us. There's three guys.

They robbed us, and they went down that street.

15, Mary 3. We got an 11-83 at, uh, Orchid and Russell.

Stay right there.

- Yahoo! - Ha ha ha!

I think we ought to give up the music business

and go into bank robbin'.

Not banks, Skeet, trains.

That's more our style, robbing ruddy trains.

Bus robbing is mostly for nerds

but this trio has a professional approach.

They feel pretty confident, so they'll strike again.

They've already cost us too much time doing paperwork.

Not to mention the chances we took in pursuit.

Local authorities will continue

to get our full cooperation

but it would not hurt me one bit if it was us

who nailed those jerks.

I thought pursuit was your favorite pastime.

What you got against caution, huh?

Now, uh, we're rotating three officers

for traffic control at the "Joie Chitwood Thrill Show"

while it's in the area.

Uh, check the duty roster.

If any of you want to make any

body-for-body trades, see me today.

Oh, by the way, if any of you want to see

the "Chitwood Show" while it's in the area

'uh, they're having a run-through'

'for a motion picture tomorrow afternoon.'

'Just show your ID at the press gate.'

Okay. That's it.

- You guys going to go? - Yeah, sure.

Uh, yeah, we'll check it out.

I guess the racetrack's not the only place

Crazy Ray's fast.

That's not the way it is.

You're really something sometimes.

- Hey, uh, Bonnie! - Uh, Frank, Frank.

I think Conner is giving Bonnie trouble she doesn't need.

Just hold it a minute.

Don't try and misunderstand. It's already been done.

The best thing you can do for Bonnie right now

is just give her a lot of space.

I guess you know better than we do.

Uh, you're right. I'm the sergeant.

What do you think, big guy?

'Ladies and gentlemen'

'here's a big welcome to all the guests'

of the "Joie Chitwood Thrill Show."

'You're going to see the whole show today'

'but remember, it's being filmed for a movie'

'and you're all going to be in the picture.'

'So enjoy yourselves!'

'Now, when you see something you like'

'let's hear from you.'

'And now, the "Joie Chitwood Show"

presents their own unique style of precision driving.

'Joie Chitwood Junior and his brother Tim'

'do some dangerous driving now on two wheels!'

Oh, man, that's insanity.

Poetry and precision.

Two wheels on the ground are bad enough on a motorcycle.

In a car, insanity.

'Here comes Crazy Ray Conner.'

'He's okay!'

'The Sidewinder, ladies and gentlemen.'

'Not something we recommend you try

'with the family station wagon.'

'Seriously, folks'

'the Chitwood thrill drivers are trained professionals.'

'These stunts are not to be tried by the amateur.'

Hope everyone remembers that, or we're in big trouble.

Grossman, you got to be out of your tree

to even think of doing this stuff.

'Now the treacherous Wall of Fire!'

- Alright. - Yeah.

Alright!

'Now, ladies and gentlemen'

'the incredible Ramp to Ramp Pipe Jump!'

- That's the way you drive, Jeb. - Yeah. Thanks. Thanks.

'Presenting the daring "Chitwood Thrill Show" drivers!'

Alright.

'Crazy Ray Conner!'

'Tim Chitwood!'

'And the world's greatest thrill driver'

Joie Chitwood Junior!

You know, Ponch, once you saw the show

I thought you'd probably want to quit the patrol and sign up.

Not me. Not in this lifetime.

All it is is geometry in motion.

I always hated geometry.

- Hey, hi, gang. - How're you doing, Ray?

I'm glad you're here.

Joie Chitwood, Tim Chitwood, these are Bonnie's friends.

Hey, how are you doing?

This is Jon Baker, Frank Poncherello

and this is her boss Sgt. Getraer.

I'm afraid Ponch thinks you're a little weird.

No, no.

I just can't dig on risking your life for a living.

Well, Ponch here, he's a little conservative.

Oh, yeah, and I'm a Chinese fry cook.

Well, hey, we get into some tight situations

but, um, we don't have to stay there.

I mean, we have a choice.

Speaking of choices, Bonnie, have you made yours?

- I guess you better tell them. - Yeah.

- Come on, guys. Let's go. - See you later.

- Nice to meet you. - See you. Take care.

- You bet. - See you then.

Uh..

The Chitwoods have asked Bonnie

to join their show.

Is that what that was all about?

So she'd leave the patrol?

They made her an offer, and a good one.

Is she serious about accepting?

She's going to take some vacation time

and, uh, work out with the show

and then decide between them and us.

'Oh!'

Well, looks like "them" is a little ahead of us.

Okay, Bonbon. There's a point of no return.

Now, If you get nervous before you reach it

you crawl back in here, alright?

Oh, I will.

Alright, wave your arms when you get out there.

It will help you with your balance.

- Alright? Go. - Okay.

Ha ha ha! Alright!

- Alright! - Ha ha ha.

'Ha ha ha.'

I was thinking of joining the show.

You were sounding off all over the place.

So?

Hey, there had to be a lot of people who thought you were

out of your mind when you wanted to join the highway patrol.

- Right? - Yeah.

Bonnie, if this show is what you want--

So, say it is.

How do you vote?

Oh, come on, Ponch.

Give me a nudge one way or the other.

Bonnie, how do you vote on somebody's life?

Just remember, whichever way you decide

I'm for you.

Jon, every act's well rehearsed.

You know, conditions are controlled.

Bonnie's in more danger with you guys

any given day of the week than she'd ever be with us.

Look, Ray, what I'm worried about

is you hitting on her with all that romantic jive.

Oh, the way I see it, pal

that's not really any of your business.

As her friend, I think it is, or I wouldn't bring it up.

She's got good friends.

And Bonnie was her own woman, even when she was a kid.

This will be her choice.

Hers.

Alright. I guess that about does it...friend.

Here, the Olympic games were held in 1932

and this famous stadium will be the site of the 1984 Olympics.

I've got a name for the group.

Not the Stubs again, Mal.

I know, Blind Albatrosses.

No, no.

No, I thought we'd call ourselves The Busboys.

Next stop, the world famous farmers market.

So, get ready for a real nice lunch.

It might be a touch late for lunch, love.

Drive straight ahead.

Oh, no. No!

No.

'Out of the driver's seat, mate.'

'I'm in charge of this bus now.'

Dave!

'Everybody sit still. Nobody move.'

Jon, do you think Bonnie is really going to quit?

Oh, I don't know.

It's kind of like your sister wanting to leave home.

Now, no family stays together forever.

In fact, uh, we thought about

quitting once or twice ourselves, you know?

I might someday, but not to risk my neck for a living.

I want something quieter, safer, more secure.

I know I'm changing, Jon, but sooner or later

everybody settles down.

Yeah.

Fill the sack.

The sooner you fill it, the sooner it's over.

Hey...check that out. Look.

Hey, lady, shut that window!

Please. Please, lady. You'll only make it worse.

Breaker, Breaker, Any Smokey, C.H.P. 10-10 in a wrapper.

Baker H-7-1-2, Poncherello B-600. Come on.

Baker, 7 David, good buddy.

What's your plain brown? Go.

No. This is Ponch's Firebird.

'Now, we're following a Sterling Tour bus.'

Gateway north from Barrington.

It may be rolling to 2-11. Yeah.

10-23.

Jon, 7 David.

Baricza is 10-39, coming up behind you.

10-4, Jeb.

In the bus, pull over immediately!

'Pull that bus over right now!'

Pull the bus over immediately!

Stop the bus!

Malcolm, stop! You're going to hurt somebody.

7 David, this is Baker.

If you can hear me, we're headed north

on 405 for National.

10-4, Jon. I'll bring help.

Hey, man, is he quitting?

Let me show him the badge.

Highway patrol! Pull it over!

Hey, that cost me some chrome. I can feel that.

Hey, watch it!

Whoa!

- Hey, Ponch! - Hey, don't bother me.

- I wanna talk to you. - What about?

About what you're trying to do!

I'm going to try and save my paint job.

Is there anything on the right?

I can't see without shifting my weight.

Don't shift your weight! Don't, don't, don't!

Don't shift your weight!

We're at the mercy of the inherent instability

of being on just two wheels.

Hey, Ponch, is that you?

Yeah, Jeb, this is Ponch.

Oh, any special reason for that? Ha ha ha!

Is there anything on our right?

No, it's clear.

I'll run a break for you.

Okay, Ponch, we can come down now.

Let me do it. Let me do it!

Ha ha ha.

Hey, that was really great, Ponch.

I mean, beautiful. You know--

Jeb, don't talk to me, okay?

Hey, listen, it wasn't anything.

Ponch was just trying to protect his paint job.

Ha ha ha.

Alright, hit your beats.

You know, I keep wishing

that Bonnie had been here to see you, Frank.

I wish Bonnie had been here to do it.

Hey, hey, the Chitwoods never did a better job

of skiing on two wheels than Ponch did.

- Synchronicity. - Synchro what?

Unrelated similar events.

Like, remember when all those shark movies came out

then all of a sudden there were all these shark attacks?

Synchronicity.

Yeah, right, Grossman.

An arcane parallel between Ponch

and the "Chitwood Thrill Show."

Don't you see it?

Yeah.

They don't see it.

Grossie, yesterday was a one in a million coincidence.

It had nothing to do with the Chitwoods.

You know, I wouldn't do what they do

for a million dollars in diamonds.

I don't think you understand synchronicity.

L.A. 15, Mary 5.

I got an Angel City tour bus

southbound on Chapman from Anderson.

'There's no tourist attraction in this area. 10-23.'

Uh, Mary 5, S-4.

Observe the bus, but make no contact.

Units in the vicinity of Chapman and Anderson lane

'assist Mary 5, but do not create a hostage situation.'

If it is a rolling 2-11

wait until the suspects leave the bus.

Units responding, stay on channel two with Mary 5.

Thanks a lot, folks.

You're the best group we've had.

Is this glamorous enough for you?

I told you we should have gone to the Catskills.

If you say that once more, I'm flying home!

They're out of the bus.

15, Mary 5. I'm in pursuit of the tour bus bandits.

'A light gray 1970 Plymouth 4-door'

'northbound Watson Avenue, from the Bryce Overpass.'

'10-4, Mary 5.'

'Mary 3 and 4 coming east on Parker.'

15, 7 Adam southbound Watson from 57.

7 David westbound 43rd and Dixon.

Mary 5, gravel pit.

'They're trying to lose me in the gravel pit.'

Grossie, this is Turner.

Baricza is in the gravel pit from the south.

I'm in the east.

'Mary 3 and 4 entering the pit from the west.'

'10-4. I still got them!'

'Jeb, is that you?'

'Right behind you, Barry.'

'Mary 5. Still about 50 yards behind them.'

'They're down at the bottom of the pit.'

'Somebody coming west.'

'7 Adam. I got them.'

Hold on!

Watch it, Jeb.

What is this?

'Precision driving, man.'

Okay, who's the primary unit?

Whoever catches them is the primary unit.

Now, let's stay out of each other's way.

'I've lost them.'

'They're headed west.'

'Don't let them turn back!'

'Turner, where are you?'

'I'm up on your left.'

Roadblock!

You got them!

Hold it. Don't move.

'Alright, head forward, all units.'

'We've got 4 exits here.'

'Let's minimize the pursuit and block the exits.'

'I don't want motorcycles'

'climbing sand piles after those jokers.'

'They're trying to ride over piles of loose gravel.'

'There are too many hazards in this area.'

'Somebody could get hurt.'

'Let's have one unit channel that car'

'towards the east entry.'

'Is that clear?'

'It's clear to us, sarge, not them.'

- 'Watch out!' - Ohh!

'Aah!'

'Pipe Jump. They did the Pipe Jump.'

'There they are!'

'He's headed east.'

'Wall of fire! Yay, Bear!'

We're in the wrong business.

Chitwood makes a fortune doing this.

You amaze me, Bear. You've got style.

'Keep 'em coming. They're surrounded.'

'There's a truck in the way.'

'Don't let them go to the right!'

Hey, what's happenin' here?

Synchronicity!

For those of you who don't have rides today

see me for special arrangements.

- Hey, Bonnie! - Hi.

And, uh, Officer Clark

has made a career decision.

I know you'll all be as happy as I am

that she's decided to come home.

Hey, alright!

Welcome back.

Thanks for steering me right and giving me the time.

You bet.

Ha ha! And listen, guys.

I always felt your support and no pressure

and that was terrific.

The thrill show was fun, but the bottom line is

this is where I belong.

It may get dull sometimes.

It may lack the excitement and the action

but...it's meaningful.

And like Ponch said

some of the stunts that they do are insane.

Yeah. Right, Ponch?

I didn't say a word.