Original subtitles

You ain't gonna take me in, copper, not alive, you ain't.

Don't shoot. He's only a boy!

Okay, Harry, cut. What was that?

Some type of Saturday morning crime show?

Pete and Ray.

More like "The Late Late Late Show." Jimmy Cagney.

Hey, right on. Not bad, copper.

We're connoisseurs.

That's how we won

the traffic safety contest.

More like a pair of monsters.

Look, you guys, do you mind if I just

get the interview on camera, okay?

Sure thing, Ms. Blake.

- Ponch? - Sure thing, Ms. Blake.

- Jon? - Oh, sure thing, Ms. Blake.

Good morning, this is Patricia Blake, News Feature One

bringing to you another in-depth report

of one team of California Highway Patrolmen.

Ponch, Jon, what is your assignment today?

Oh, it's right here. This is Ray Cerina and Pete Costello.

Yeah. The boys have won an essay contest on traffic safety.

They're going to receive certificates of excellence

from Judge Armeda and they're going to get a look at

the courts and how they operate from the inside.

- Solkin, Dale. - Yep.

Bickel, Lloyd.

Oh, oh, that's me.

- Follow me, gentlemen. - Where are we going?

You've been arrested, remember?

You're going to court. It's your preliminary hearing.

Let's move it.

Well, that's it till we go inside.

Alright, shall I gather up the kids?

Oh, no. They're alright.

- We have a few minutes. - Oh, alright.

All this trouble over dealing in grass?

And grand theft auto.

We didn't steal that car, officer.

Let's go.

We just borrowed it, that's all.

- Didn't we? - Hmm.

We left a note for this guy and everything.

- Nice note. - Yeah.

I'll bet you Judge Hamlin will just fall

right off the bench. He'll love that story.

Just trying to intimidate us, ain't you?

No. I'm trying to deliver you, so let's move.

- I want a drink of water. - It's time for court.

Why can't I have a drink of water?

I said it's time for court.

It's his right to have a drink of water.

- It is in the constitution. - That's right.

You want me to put the cuffs on both of you?

This here officer's violating this man's rights!

My gosh.

Well, my big sister loved me, but, uh, I tell you

if they would have told her to squire me around

like you're doing for Pete

I think she would have left Wyoming for good.

Oh, I'll bet you're just as lovable to her as Pete is to me.

Yeah, well, as a matter of fact

I thought so. Of course..

Hey, listen, what a kid brother thinks is funny

can sometimes give a big sister fits, huh?

- They're so big. - Big.

- What're you doing? - Oh, yeah.

Put on the helmet.

Now you're a big motorcycle man.

- Right. Right. - Macho man.

- Bet these go fast. - Bet you they do.

- Should I start it? - Yeah, okay.

Now, we're going to put this on you

and then you don't have to yell at anybody. Alright?

Okay.

Hey, grab him before he hits the gear shift!

- Hey, let me go. - Come on, get off there.

- Come on now, slow down. - Pete, you should know better.

- And you, too, Ray. - Alright, now.

You two characters.

- I'm sorry. - I'm sorry.

Okay. I'm gonna make it simple for you.

We're due in the judge's chambers in ten minutes.

For ten minutes, you say nothing

you do nothing, you try nothing.

You hear that?

Hey, just behave. Is that clear?

- Clear? - Is that clear?

- Yes, sir. - Yes, ma'am.

Okay, fellas, I want to talk to you.

If our reporter got that on film

I don't think we looked very good.

Oh, yeah? Who can look good escorting those two kids?

And Getraer said this was going to be a cushy assignment.

"You'll enjoy it," he said.

Really, but once we get them inside

I mean, what can we do?

What, The Blob and Godzilla?

They could start World War III, man.

So from here, we go into the chambers

and then into the courtroom

of superior court judge Albert Armeda.

Okay, cut.

Thank you, Harry.

Pete never means any harm, but when he and Ray are together

they have so much energy to expend.

Uh, he couldn't have ridden the motorcycle

but he could have got hurt. Both of them could have.

Hey, guys, it's time to go in and see the judge.

Pete! Ray!

'Boys! Come on, boys! Where are you?'

Hey, a bar!

Champagne,please, Peter.

Yes. Right away, sir.

Keys.

Here, try it, just once.

I'll bet you can't even hear the engine.

'Boys!'

Peter! Raymond!

Come on, fellas, where are you?

'Peter! Raymond! Come on!'

- How did that happen? - I don't know.

But the engine is running.

Pete Costello, Raymond! You two sound off right now!

- Keep cool. - 'Okay.'

Look important.

Pete! Ray!

There they go in that car!

Just wait right here, alright?

The license plate, it said Flagon.

I know, I know, I'll send another unit.

I can't believe it.

- I got you. - Knock it off, Lloyd.

Let them go. The doors are locked.

I'm going to let you guys go!

Grand theft auto, kidnapping

'assault. You guys are in heavy trouble.'

Those two CHiPs know you took us.

You better let us out.

Yeah, well, if they know..

...how come they're not chasing us, huh?

Now, look. Look. There are no cops there.

They better not stop us. 'Cause we got you.

'You're our insurance, understand?'

Hey, uh, kid, uh, what is your dad?

Well, he's some kinda big shot or something, huh?

'What is he, a judge?'

- My dad's an engineer. - This isn't the car.

Yeah, well, you just stay put and stay quiet.

'We're not going to hurt you, so don't be scared.'

We're not scared.

Why are you guys on the lam?

Well, we came into town, and we were broke

and we started dealing in some grass and--

Put a cork in it, Lloyd.

No, no, we're-we're innocent, really. Uh, what's your plan?

Well, we're going to get out of LA.

Shouldn't have come here in the first place.

15-Mary 3 and 4 maintaining visual contact with suspect.

'15-Mary 4, 10-4.'

'Don't know yet whether this is a 2-0-7'

'or a practical joke.'

'Have all units'

switch to blue channel two

and keep it on clearance until

this thing is resolved.

No hot pursuit.

We don't wanna push the situation into panic.

'Yeah. Figure we'll head up North.'

After that, once we're over the border into Canada

we can unload this for a bundle.

Man, man, that-that's the saddest

getaway plan I've ever heard.

Me too. For openers, do you guys know what freeway to take?

We'll figure it out.

Yeah. Yeah. We'll get a map.

On the freeway?

Look, take the interchange up ahead

and get off at the Santa Monica freeway.

Go West until you hit the San Diego.

- Yeah? - We live here, mister.

Pete and I wrote an essay on the freeway.

We studied 'em. We know.

Dale, go up to the interchange, and make a--

'I heard 'em. I heard 'em.'

Just stay loose, okay?

It's a terrific story.

I'll let you know a location for the camera crew

as soon as I can.

I know Jon's right.

Kid brothers do crazy things.

But this is too far out, even for Pete.

I just can't believe it's a joke.

We see a lot of unusual situations, Ms. Costello.

I made some creative notes on an interesting one last month.

See, I do a little writing.

Grossman!

Huh?

Lieutenant, take care of Ms. Costello.

- Make sure somebody's with her. - Right, sarge.

'15-Mary 3 and 4'

'suspect vehicle now on the transition road'

'to the westbound Santa Monica.'

15-Mary 3 and 4

maintaining visual contact with suspect vehicle.

15-Mary 3 and 4

2 WMA 11-500 suspects

attacked deputy at the courthouse and escaped.

'Try to determine conditions in that'

'vehicle without igniting anyone.'

This is a 2-0-7 situation.

Regard the juveniles as hostages

in danger.

No, Pat! No! Stay back!

'Stay back!'

Pat, get back!

If they see we're following they might hurt the kids!

Get back!

How much do you think one of these jobbies cost?

Sixty two thousand.

No kidding, huh?

I bet it comes loaded.

Radio, air conditioning, everything.

Hey, Lloyd, I got to go.

You got to what?

Not until Canada, kid.

That's over 2,000 miles.

I mean it. I don't feel good.

Dale, he don't feel good--

'I heard him. I heard him.'

- He's in pain. - I'm sick.

Shut up.

Y-you got to stop for gas sometime.

We'll buy gas if you stop.

Hey, Dale, hey, that's right. We don't have any money.

How much you got on you, kid?

You stop first.

Five bucks.

Just passed Henson Road off-ramp.

Still in visual contact.

Nothing unusual. We can move in any time.

10-4, Mary 4.

We're monitoring all the off-ramps ahead of you.

Stay close enough to protect those kids.

S-4, this is Mary 3.

Can you form a rolling block ahead of us?

How's the traffic flow?

Uh, moderate. Slowing down.

I think we can, uh, grab up on the rolls and surprise them.

10-4, Jon.

'We'll run a rolling brake'

'as soon as I can get a unit in position.'

15-Mary 3 and 4, I'm running a traffic brake

ahead of you West of Robertson.

10-4, 7-Adam. We're moving in.

All units, got caught up to the rolling block

westbound Santa Monica.

Back up, move in. We'll make the stop.

Jon, wrong car.

'All units, this is Mary 3. This is the wrong Rolls.'

- 'They must have turned off.' - 7-Adam, release your traffic.

10-4.

Come on, let's go.

You okay, Pete?

I-I'm still a little weak from my illness.

Get in the car.

Senor, yo no comprendo.

All units, 7-Charles I had the black Rolls-Royce

license Frank-Lincoln- Adam-George-Ocean-Nora

departing a service station

Henson and Mill road.

'Uh, I got jammed up, and I lost 'em.'

'He re-entered the freeway, Mill Road interchange'

'direction unknown.'

10-4, 7-Charles.

Excuse me, have you seen a black Rolls

with Flagon license plates?

It's your move.

He said they were here, but, uh

that's all he knows.

The kids left this "4-0-5 N." San Diego freeway North.

S-4, this is Mary 3. The kids left a note.

They're northbound on the 4-0-5 freeway.

'We'll be following it up.'

10-4, Mary 3.

I'll back you up with Mary 5.

'All units, 15-S-4, BOL the black Rolls-Royce.'

'License Flagon'

'northbound 4-0-5.'

'Report it, but stay clear.'

'Repeat, stay clear.'

Hey, Jon, I can get ahead of him

and fake a breakdown in front of him and stop him.

Yeah, or have, uh, two tons of

Rolls-Royce run over your motor.

I'm going to borrow this car. You tell Getraer.

I got to be out of my tree.

I think he has a good idea.

Hey, listen, mister, uh

how about..

...forty bucks?

- No. - Yes.

I said, no!

Well, he said, yes, so just do it and save time.

Why, so that you can make a better story?

I'm just doing my job.

I could take the car.

Now you don't have to.

♪ Play it again for me

♪ That sweet haunting melody

♪ Those bittersweet words that remind me of love ♪

♪ Long ago ♪

Hey, look. Look, Dink.

'Dig this boat ahead of us, man.'

That is my main fantasy, man

a fat, sassy Rolls like that.

Whoo!

Lloyd, cops don't do that.

You're right.

Some kids in a van.

Help!

Hey, brutal boat, man.

- Help! - Help!

- Kidnapped! - We're being kidnapped!

Kidnapped! Help!

- Ha ha ha. - Hey, dig these kids.

- 'Help!' - 'Kidnapped!'

Kidnapped!

- 'Kidnapped!' - 'Help!'

- Help! Kidnapped! - Kidnapped!

- Help! - Get over here! Get..

Help!

Oggie, could they be serious?

I think that we ought to report this, man.

Hang close, man. It's a gas.

I told you guys to sit down!

'You guys shut up! And get down!'

Those guys give us any flak

'I'm telling you right now, kids'

'you're in trouble for sure.'

Yeah. You kids are gonna be in trouble.

We heard him.

15-Mary-3. I got them.

A cop, Oggie, right behind us.

Hey, come here! Kidnap! Kidnap!

The little boys up there kidnapped!

He says, no.

What is he, off-duty or something?

Hey, kidnapped! Kidnapped! Rolls-Royce!

- What's he doing? - Nothing!

Oh, brother.

- Kidnapping, man! - Kidnapping!

- Rolls-Royce! - Rolls-Royce, up ahead!

'Dale, listen, they're still back there.'

I know it. I hear 'em. I hear 'em.

It's a cop.

Really, it's a cop, Dale.

Stay down.

Get out of here!

Kidnapping in the car!

Pull it over!

Oh, man, he wants us to pull over.

Pull it over right now!

It's the van. Dale. It's them.

'Those kids are really going to get reamed now. Ha ha.'

Will you turn off the radio?

Hey, man, that Rolls-Royce

with the Flagon plates.

Hey, cut the horn, would you, please?

It's stuck, man.

Look, we got the kidnap covered.

Now, just be on your way

and stay away from the Rolls, huh?

Oh, and, uh, thanks for your help.

Big deal.

That was Ponch that just passed.

I know.

Grossie, you back up Jon

five seconds behind. We'll try another rolling traffic block.

Hey, I told you kids to stay down.

U-u-uh, stop-stop pushing us around.

We just wanted to see where we are.

Okay, okay, I just don't wanna

hurt you, kid. You okay?

Look, we can't squish down here all the way to Canada.

'Lloyd, put some music on the radio.'

What kind of music do you like, kids?

Country western, punk rock?

Beethoven.

What?

The century on ramp will put me a mile ahead of them.

10-4, 7-Charles.

Notify me when you're in position.

'15-S-4 LA, helicopter H-8'

'is available now to join you on 10.'

10-4, OA, send him on.

I ain't never figured you'd get static in a Rolls.

Ah, we're out of range. Get another station.

I figured on a rig like this that you could pick up stuff

from as far away as, uh, all over.

'A black Rolls-Royce.'

- 'Black Rolls-Royce?' - 'Hey, is that us?'

- Get it back. Get it back. - Whoa.

'Frank-Lincoln-Adam- George-Ocean-Nora.'

- 'License Flagon. Repeat..' - Who are they?

- 'License Flagon.' - I think it's the cops.

'All units watch for helicopter H-8'

'approaching from Southwest.'

Helicopters!

- Alright! - They know about us, Dale.

Shut up.

They-they got a helicopter after us.

Shut up, I said. Everybody, shut up!

Dale, we better get out of here. Helicopters see everything.

Grab ahold of something and hang on!

All units, I think they made us.

All units, Mary-3..

...black Rolls' off the freeway

and believed headed east.

Come on, now. Let's get back in our cars, please.

'Move this Volkswagen out. Come on, now.'

'Let's get the traffic moving! Come on!'

'Come on. Let's go.'

'Come on.'

Come on.

Hey, I think we're safe.

'Safe? Are you kidding?'

A helicopter could spot this car easy.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, they can see everything, huh?

Everything.

Hold it. I think I got something.

'Get in the back.'

'And keep those kids quiet.'

Alright, you boys better behave, huh?

What? Huh? Oh.

Okay, as long as you don't hurt my friend.

- Howdy doody there, pops? - What's your problem?

Way your car's parked, can't get my Rolls-Royce by.

Hey! What--

Take it easy, pops.

I'm warning you.

Lloyd, bring on the kids!

Open the door.

Come on. Come on.

Everything's going to be alright.

Come on.

Grossie, take off.

Conduct a pattern search of the area.

'Find that Rolls. Observe it.'

'But do not close with it till we're sure those boys are safe.'

- Please, God. - Hang in there, Ms. Costello.

Your brothers are going to be just fine.

Help! Help!

Mister, what happened to you?

They, they, put me in the trunk

and took my wagon.

They took my wagon.

Okay. I'm a police officer.

You want to tell me exactly what happened?

They took my wagon and locked me in the trunk.

Lloyd, why are you stopping?

He don't know what's in this car.

The man you stole it from will tell them.

Shut up! Go that way.

Hey, Jon, how'd you find me? The horn?

Right. What happened?

Well, they put him in the trunk, and they took his wagon.

'All units, Mary-3, suspects and hostages'

'now believed to be in a light blue station wagon'

'left 1200 block on Carver..'

'Request an 11-85 for the abandoned Rolls.'

'BOL a light blue station wagon.'

'Suspects and hostages are no longer in the..'

Be there in ten minutes.

'Repeat, BOL a light blue station wagon.'

'Suspects and hostages are no longer'

'in the Rolls-Royce.'

Mary-4 is still in the Impala. He's using the horn for ID.

Listen for "La Cucaracha."

Okay. If you'll wait inside, we'll be right back.

'Take it easy. It's a cop.'

Where you going?

No! Get out of here!

Hey, man, I'm sorry, man!

Get lost.

My fault back there, man!

- Get out of here! - Hey! I'm sorry, man!

I forgot.

I don't mean to bump into you!

Hey, that's..

We mean it.

Sorry! Ha ha ha!

Hey, nice car, man!

Drop dead!

Over there. Let's follow the horn.

I'm sorry! Ha ha!

Oh, wow, man. Hey, I'm sorry. I..

My fault, man. I'm sorry.

Look what you did! We're in a hurry, you yo-yo!

Hey, all kinds of apologies, guys, man.

My fault, okay? Listen, I got my keys, man.

Huh? What do you say? We go get a tow car, huh?

Come with me, huh? What you say, huh?

Yeah, that's the least you can do, man.

I'm a police officer.

Alright, step over here. Put your hands on your head.

Come on, move.

Boy, am I going to get it.

Oh, you're okay.

- Oh, thank God. - See what I mean?

Nice going, amigo

but remember, the state owes me 40 bucks.

Why don't I call you tonight and we'll discuss it?

Deal.

You were certainly right about kid brothers.

Ponch said they'd start World War III in about ten minutes.

I guess they did, huh?

Well, those kids were pretty cool, but I bet you

they'll remember this for quite a while.

So will we the next time the sergeant

offers us a cushy assignment. We'll think about it.

Hey, Poncherello, don't complain.

You're on overtime.

Ms. Costello, I'm sure happy those kids are safe.

'I think it'll be a long time'

'before they get into another strange car.'

Hmm.