Original subtitles

- # Judy in disguise.

# Well, that's what you are.

# Lemonade pie,

# with your brand-new car.

# Cantaloupe eyes come to me tonight.

# Judy in disguse ― with glasses. #

- Maude. - Oh. Hello, Maxine.

- Hello. A few things for you here, love.

I'm just... I'm just not feeling them anymore.

- Oh, lovely. - Mm. Italian.

So they should be priced accordingly, not just to sell.

- Selling things is how we raise money, Maxine.

- People always pay for good quality, darling.

- Possibly not here, love.

- Ciao.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello again.

- Hello, love. Do you want me to pick up some of that jam Martin likes?

- Oh, yes please. We're almost out.

- OK. Will do. I'll see you tomorrow.

- I'm looking forward to it.

- # Come on, baby, and give it some.

# You know what we're gonna do.

# I'm gonna make you cry.

(MUSIC CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND)

- I made your favourite. - Oh, lovely.

- (IMITATES GUNFIRE)

(QUIRKY CHASE MUSIC)

(SIRENS WAIL)

Hello?

Any reason you failed to stop? - Oh my god.

Constable Haira, please.

He's still alive.

- And her?

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.

www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2026

(SURF ROCK MUSIC)

- Do you guys want to see something horrible?

So lame, it puts you off ever wanting to stay here.

- Well, people don't go directly to a website to book, do they?

- If you search Blue Motel, the first thing that comes up

are stories of a dead dude in a spa bath.

- (SIGHS) - That will pass.

- The internet is forever.

I'll do it. - Do what?

- Turn this crap website into a good one.

For reasons of self-interest and saving the job I need to keep.

- Sure. Fine. Go for it.

- Just run your ideas past us first.

- Yeah, I was having breakfast when I saw this message.

It was from Maude's phone.

- READS: 'Hugh, we've decided we can't live with it.

'Please make sure everyone understands why we did what we've done.'

What's the 'it' they can't go through with?

- Martin.

He was diagnosed with terminal cancer not so long ago.

He has a year, at best, to live, so I've been helping them organise their affairs.

- So, you read the text this morning?

- I tried calling Maude. No answer. Martin ― no answer.

So I just jumped in my car.

(PHONE RINGS)

- Hello, this is Constable Jamie Haira.

- Pamela Owens. I'm looking for Maude.

Why is a policeman answering her phone?

(UPBEAT, BRIGHT MUSIC)

- # I could have known. #

- Oh, hello.

- I have a reservation.

- Great. What name is it under?

- You OK?

- No, no, I'm not.

I've just had some terrible news.

- What are you doing?

- There was a woman crying.

- What woman?

- She just showed up bawling her eyes out in reception.

And now she's checked into Unit 2.

- Why?

- Probably because it's the only room that's been serviced.

- Saffron, why was she crying?

- That is what I'm trying to find out.

So, if you just―

- Amateur.

Watch and learn.

This girl needs a prop. Wait.

- A prop. I should have thought of that.

- Oh, thank you for this. - Oh, you're so welcome.

- Where would you like these? - Just anywhere.

- Hey. Is, um, everything OK?

I, um, bought some lavender tea.

The best thing when you're feeling a little bit out of sorts.

- (CRIES) I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- No. I can go and get peppermint tea.

- No, it's just that my friend Maude,

uh, she always swore by lavender tea.

- Yeah. She does.

You know Maude?

- Look, I was just pulling in here when I was told that―

that she's died.

- Maude's dead?

I only spoke to her yesterday at the charity shop.

- Oh, that Maude.

- Um, the cop's here.

- Suicide pact. - Huh?

- Do you guys know Maude and Martin Bromley?

- Only her.

Sorry, sorry.

They're both dead?

- Maude definitely.

Um, Martin didn't look too flash as he was taken away in the ambo.

Hey, do you remember what you said to me the first day we met?

- About the board shorts with the uniform?

- No, about instinct being number one.

- That sounds like something I would say.

- Yeah, well, my instinct's telling me something's not right.

- For what reason?

- Suicide pact, my arse.

- That reason.

- There is no way that the lovely Maude would have killed herself, OK?

Why?

- Well, the text said it was because Martin was nearly dead.

- No, no, no, that doesn't make sense.

Pam just told me that her and Maude had VIP passes to the garden show tomorrow.

They've been looking forward to it. They spent a fortune on it.

Who kills themselves a day before the garden show?

But she was fine.

- We're doing this, aren't we?

- I bags the scene.

- Guess I'll take the victim then.

I'll stay in the background.

- I'm cool with you being in the foreground.

Mr Bromley.

Constable Jamie Haira.

- Why am I here?

- You took poison, sir.

- I took... - Poison.

(SIGHS)

Where's Maude? I wanna talk to her.

- (CLICKS TONGUE)

Maude didn't make it.

I'm sorry, but your wife is dead.

- You were both found on your bed, Mr Bromley.

- Maude's dead?

- From the poison. - That you both took.

- Why do you keep saying tok?

- There was a message about you both wanting to end it all.

- End what all?

- It.

Living.

- Mr Bromley. Martin, are you saying that you and your wife didn't have a suicide pact?

(SUSPENSEFUL, QUIRKY MUSIC)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

- What are you doing?

- Shit.

- Hi.

- You're one of the new people at the motel.

- Helping the police with the investigation.

I have a lanyard. Somewhere.

- Hugh Goodall, solicitor.

- Oh. Vinny.

- I'm just grabbing some things to take to the hospital for Martin.

- If he makes it.

- Well, yeah. You've got to live in hope.

- Still, it's a bad business.

- I know. I found them.

- Did you see it coming?

- Not in the slightest.

Nobody did.

- I remember Maude arriving home.

It was her day at the charity shop.

I'd made soup.

She seemed distracted.

Normally, she'd be telling me all about her day.

The people who came in and out, and stuff.

But yesterday, nothing.

I remember getting really tired.

Like a wave breaking over me.

I must have made it up to bed cos you said that's where you found me.

- Do you remember Maude coming to bed with you? - No.

- I know this is not easy to hear, but, um,

had Maude ever talked about taking things into your own hands?

- Yeah,

yeah, we both had.

Theoretically.

When you're facing a death sentence, hard to not have those conversations.

- And where did Maude stand on that?

- Well, lately, she started talking about how horrible it was going to be for her.

You know, watching me die.

Maybe in Maudeie's mind, I was already dead.

- # He's on the road like a Thunderbird. #

- Oh, I love your work.

Cheers.

Apparently, Maude was thinking about taking their own way out.

- Yeah, I found some stuff about that.

- So Martin survived, but he had no idea it was happening.

- So, suicide pact out, attempted murder-suicide in?

- Any news?

- Well, Martin's pulled through. Which is good.

- What about Maude?

- Still dead, I'm afraid.

- I mean, what's happening? Why?

- There's no way it was a suicide pact.

- Well, things have moved on from there.

- To where?

- Martin says he had no idea what was happening.

- So Maude killed herself and then tried to take him along?

Is that what's being said?

- It's a theory.

- My friend was the gentlest, most loving person I know.

No. Not possible.

- Calling Maude a murderer.

Wow.

Poor form, Colemans.

- (SCOFFS) - Yeah, I know.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

- What would you do?

- (CHUCKLES) I knew you were gonna ask this question.

- So...

if I was dying...

- Well, I certainly wouldn't kill myself.

- Well, do you want to have a little think about your answer?

- Well, you know what they say about fish in the sea, right?

- That they're endangered because of overfishing.

What if we were really old?

- Hmm. I'd still be desirable.

- Well, that is true.

- Go to sleep.

Good morning, Pam. How you feeling?

- I was thinking about going home, but I really want to stick around for Maude's funeral.

- Well, we're just heading up to the hospital to talk to Martin if you'd like to see him.

- Pass.

Martin and I have never really seen eye to eye,

and I don't think that recent events are going to change that.

- Fair enough.

- Don't get me wrong. If he reaches out, I'll talk then.

- Team Maude. - 100%.

They're letting you go?

- Oh. Not willingly. But no way in hell am I hanging around here.

- Fair enough. Uh, this is my wife, Vinnie. She's also an ex-detective.

Also helping the police. - Mr Bromley.

- Martin. Uh, I already told your husband everything I remember, I'm sorry.

- So, you, um, heading home? - Yeah, that's very much the plan.

- Oh, you probably need a ride then, eh?

- Oh, much appreciated.

- So the, um, the wine didn't taste unusual?

- (CHUCKLES) One of the things about cancer ― the treatment doesn't do your taste buds anyfavours.

Oh. After you. - Oh, cheers.

(LAID-BACK MUSIC)

- What's all this? - Chardonnay.

- Oh, Saffron. That's lovely.

Funnily enough, that is my wine of choice.

- Yeah, I know. I got it from your fridge.

Well, I need the photos to look nice for the website. And you've got the fancy shit.

- Well, yeah, that's true, but still, I wish you wouldn't just go into my room.

- How am I supposed to refresh your towels if I can't go into your room?

- Hey, you know what'd be actually really cool?

If the towels were swans.

Folded like swans on the bed.

- Why? - Well, for the website.

When I was in Vegas, I went to this gorgeous hotel, and they folded their towels into, like, swans.

And it was just very classy.

- I could probably manage a jellyfish.

- Nobody wants a jellyfish on the bed.

- That is exactly what I said to my ex

when she tried to get revenge on me with a blue bottle she found on the beach.

- Well, OK― Do you want to grab a drink with me?

I was going to meet up with Pam at the wine bar,

but seeing as you've opened up a very expensive bottle of chardonnay...

- I am on the clock. - Come on.

Come on.

- Thanks for your help, Maxine. - Yeah.

- Thanks.

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

Well, that's odd.

- Martin.

You're out. - I am.

What are you doing? - Uh, yeah. This needs some explaining.

Uh, it's certainly not what it looks like.

- Well, it looks like you're stealing my vinyl, Hugh.

- Yeah. Less stealing your vinyl and, uh, more keeping your pride and joy out of harm's way.

- Oh, yeah? From what harm is this?

- (SIGHS) Look, you're not gonna like this, Martin.

Not so long ago, Maude came to see me about her will.

- Our will.

- Her part of your will together.

She changed it.

- Changed it? How?

- Maude changed the beneficiary of her half of everything.

- To whom?

- Hmm. Strictly speaking, I should probably tell them first.

- Given the ongoing investigation― - We can cut to the chase, Hugh.

- Pamela Owens.

- Pam, the gardening friend? - Yeah, very much a shared passion.

And, well, I think the reason behind the change, you see ― Maude felt that you would die before her.

And she said that when she went, she wanted this house

to go to someone that would look after the garden.

- You're telling me that half this house, my house,

now belongs to Pam Owens?

- Exactly. I mean, when probate clears.

Martin, we can contest it.

It's just― It takes a really, really long time.

- So what's up with the records, then?

- He and I, we're both collectors and, um, look, I know what it means to him.

- So you're removing them from a potentially ugly property split?

- Well, I was taking them off-site for storage until the air clears.

- Even though, technically, half of them belong to Pam.

- Yeah, well, legally, it's kind of an intriguing grey area.

- Bull bloody shit. They're not going anywhere.

You bring them back in here.

(SCOFFS)

Pam's always wanted this house.

You know, she sat at that table, and said as much on more than one occasion.

I just thought she was joking. What if she's not joking?

- So you think Pam might have poisoned you and your wife?

- I wasn't here all day.

I mean, I went into town to do some business. The house was empty.

I decanted the wine in the morning and the soup was sitting on the stove. It's bloody possible.

And if it wasn't her...

- Then who?

- Pam was on the road on the day of, getting here.

She said she phoned Maude on the way.

- Maybe she was parked around the corner, waiting for Martin to leave the house.

- Why would she stay at the motel and not here with her dear friend?

- Our awesome website?

- Well, she definitely doesn't like Martin.

- Website's coming together.

- Oh, good.

- From certain angles, this place looks almost exotic.

- I will have to take your word for that.

Do you know if Pam's in her room?

- Uh, no. She's gone to the pub for lunch.

Did Grace have something to do with this?

- With what? And who's Grace? - The Martin and Maude thing.

And Grace works at the pharmacy.

She's a total keyboard warrior when it comes to this kind of stuff.

- This kind of stuff being... - Assisted dying.

End of life choice.

She's always posting these, like, huge screeds about it online.

To be honest, I've never finished one because they're really intense.

Hang on.

- I found this stuff at Maude and Martin's house.

- It will have come from Grace.

(ENGINE GROWLS DEEPLY)

(WESTERN MUSIC)

- Gidday.

- Hey, I'm looking to rent a room for a few days.

I'm not sure how many.

- Not a problem. Saffron here will take care of you. Welcome to Blue Motel.

- I love the leathers.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

- Excuse me. Are you Grace?

- I am, and you're the woman who owns the motel.

- Vinny Coleman. These have anything to do with you?

- I heard you used to be a cop. - I did.

- This about Maude and Martin? - It is.

- So you're still a cop?

- My husband and I, we dabble.

Did― Did you give these to Maude?

- No, but I have posted this stuff online.

Nothing wrong with that. - Didn't say that there was.

Did you talk to Maude or Martin about the right to die?

- When I heard about Martin.

Yeah. They were happy to talk and I was happy to tell them their rights.

- OK.

If you don't mind me saying, you seem quite young to be concerned with thoughts of death.

- When you watch your grandfather waste away to nothing,

begging to end it all, and being told he wasn't eligible to go peacefully?

Excuse me.

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

- The phone records came through.

On the day, Pam called Maude three times, but the last time was when I answered,

so it probably doesn't count.

- Any indication where the calls were coming from?

- Uh, still waiting on the cell tower triangulation thingy.

- Hi, Pam. Do you mind if we join you?

- Oh. Go ahead.

What is this about?

- Have you spoken to Hugh yet?

- Who's Hugh? - A lawyer in town.

- Oh, there was a message from a solicitor's office on my phone, but I didn't get back to them.

- All right. We should probably come back once you've spoken to Hugh.

- He's going to tell you that in her will,

Maude has left you her half of everything.

- Define everything. - House, property. Everything.

- (SIGHS) Martin must be thrilled (!)

- He was still taking it on board.

- Oh my God. Does that mean that I'm a suspect in whatever this is?

- No one is accusing anyone of anything just yet.

- This is brilliant. This is just brilliant (!)

- I'll take care of this.

- I meant to be at a garden show today with my best friend,

but she's dead because allegedly, she had this insane idea about killing herself and her husband.

And now I'm implicated.

Can you grasp why I might be starting to be a bit concerned?

Oh, God.

- Was it you who put her up to it?

Was it? - OK. Martin, mate. Give it a rest.

- Martin, I get it. You almost died, and Maude's gone.

And now there's this nonsense with the house.

- Yeah, but you're doing really well out of it, aren't you?

- None of it had anything to do with me.

- Well, convince your mate here, huh?

- You all good?

- With a cup of tea and a lie down, I will be.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

- Hi.

- How did Pam take the news?

- Better than Martin.

There was an incident on the way back.

Safe to say, there's no love lost between those two.

- Enough for her to want to kill him?

- Maybe, but not Maude.

In fact, she seems far too nice to kill anymore.

- You guys need to get out here now. Now, come on.

(WOMEN GRUNT, YELL)

- # Haere mai.

# Everything is ka pai. #

- OK. OK.

- Oh, you just couldn't wait, could you?

- Get over yourself. It's in your head, you crazy bitch.

- You'd jump in her grave just as quick.

- OK.

- That was awesome.

- She has always hated me, that woman.

- I should have known she'd turn up.

- She poisoned Maude against me. I know that for a fact.

- She's gloating, I bet.

Finally claiming her man.

- Martin and I are ancient history.

- Maude knew that they'd been talking, but Martin always denied it.

- He's a friend. What is wrong with being here to support a friend?

- I bet he called her the moment Maude died.

She's always had this weird kind of hold over him.

- I'm only here because of what I read online.

- What online?

- That thing that young woman posted.

The story of Martin and Maude.

- She makes them sound like Romeo and Juliet.

I mean, I guess he does look a bit Leonardo.

- It's not exactly helpful, though. - Or accurate.

- Grace doesn't care about accuracy. She's all about the romance.

Love and death.

Plus, it's the internet. So what does accuracy have to do with it?

- We've got a passionate young person.

- With access to drugs.

- Hi, Grace. Your boss said we'd find you here.

- No such thing as a break?

- We read your little missive.

- The romantic life and death of Maude and Martin.

- I have the right to say what I think.

- But not the right to give them the drugs to go through with it.

- Is that what you think I did?

- You tell us.

- Neither Maude nor Martin ever approached me for help.

But if they had, I would have.

Any more questions? - Cos you've got all the answers?

- It's Jamie. Tox report came back.

(EASY, MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

- I would have said that they overdosed on Martin's pain meds,

but turns out what was in the wine was a cardiac glycoside,

something called digoxin or digitalis or other stuff.

There's a whole list of heart meds that contain this stuff.

- And it was the wine, not the soup?

- Soup was soup. The wine was lethal.

The fact that Martin only drank half a glass saved him.

- Were Maude or Martin on heart meds?

- No idea. - It's probably worth finding out.

- Digitalis occurs naturally in plants like foxglove.

- If you're of the gardening persuasion.

- So, what questions have you got for me today?

- We just want to check in after, you know, earlier.

- Yeah. It wasn't my finest hour, but I'm sure you can understand why. - Maude's will was asurprise.

- Utterly. And yet, given Pam, not, you know?

- How so?

- Well, Pam can be really persuasive.

- Maude and Pam shared a love of gardening, yeah?

- Yeah.

- I'd love to see this garden. - Follow me.

- Actually, you mind if I use the bathroom? I'll catch up.

- Yeah. Be my guest.

(QUIRKY, TENSE MUSIC)

- Do you mind if I take some pics?

- Maude would like nothing more. - Inspiration.

You, um, spoken to Estelle?

Just arrived. Old friend of yours, I believe.

- Oh, yeah. A long time ago.

Yeah. She will have heard about Maude. I guess she'll be in touch.

- Any foxglove in this garden?

- No, I wouldn't know.

- Do you know what digitalis is?

- Oh, I see where you're going with this.

But the hospital was kind enough to call me and tell me what it was that almost killed me.

And just so you know, I'm not on any heart medication.

- And you have no idea how it ended up in your wine?

- None at all.

- So, you know anyone on heart meds?

- Hugh.

Although, he'd only want to kill me for my record collection.

- Speak of the devil.

- Maude business? - In a roundabout way.

Hugh just made me an offer for my half of the house.

- (SCOFFS) Jesus. That was quick. - Tempted?

- What he's offering? Not even close.

- Hey, uh, Pam, as a gardener, do you know anything about foxglove?

- Not a thing. Why?

- It's just something that came up.

- Sorry, I can't help you.

I'm all about the roses.

- Motive, mean, and opportunity.

- Maude, all three.

- Pam, all three.

Unless the phone records put her elsewhere.

- Hugh? Probably all three, if he's desperate for the real estate.

- Grace? - Mm.

Means? Yes.

Motive? Yes, but nothing personal.

Probably opportunity.

- What about our new guest?

- Estelle?

Uncertain as yet.

Martin.

- It was actually a failed suicide pact? So why lie about it?

- To make it look like one.

- (EXHALES DEEPLY) Dying man kills wife?

What's the point of that?

- You're a dying man. Why the hell not?

- You have a dark side.

- Just one of the many, many things you love about me.

- Time to stir things up.

- Yeah, well, I've offered to buy Pam out.

Just hoping it might help Martin not having to deal with her.

Poor guy's just got so much on his plate.

I mean, he's dealing with his cancer, and now this.

- Not to mention his wife lying on the bed beside him, dead.

- I remember. I did find them. - You did.

- Why did Maude text you?

- I'm their lawyer. I sort stuff out.

- But you're Martin's friend.

So why do you think he just threw you under the bus?

- When he heard it was heart medication that killed Maude, almost killed him,

the first thing he said was Hugh has heart meds.

- You do take heart pills?

- Yeah.

Why did Martin feel the need to tell us that?

- Look, the way things sit at the moment,

it looks like Maude and Martin had this pact to die together.

- Martin failed at his end of things.

- Now he's looking at a murder trial.

- Sure, it'll probably be downgraded and he'll walk away.

- But is that how he wants to spend the last year of his life? In a courtroom?

- Can you understand, Hugh, why Martin might want to shine a little light someplace else?

- Have you asked him about the 50K he took out of the savings account as soon as he left thehospital?

And while you're at it, you might want to ask him why he suddenly needs a storage unit.

- Huh.

OK.

How about a pinball machine? - In reception?

Hard no, babe.

Saffron's car smells funny.

- Oof. Do not investigate the source.

- Oh, hang on, we have movement.

Rolling. Heading your way, I reckon. - Copy that.

- OK.

He's arrived.

OK. He's going into the unit.

I'll give it a minute or two, then see if I can get close.

Scratch that.

- Is that what the 50 grand was for?

- Maybe that's why he was hiding it.

Not his first time on a bike, I'd say.

He was gone about an hour. Back into his civvies, locked up his toy.

Then off to the real world.

- Hmm. Dead man riding.

- So Martin is a biker.

- Just like Estelle in Unit 4.

- To what do I owe the pleasure?

- Just a few more questions.

Nice bike, by the way.

- Oh, I don't even care how you know.

Yes, I bought a bike.

I used to ride. I miss riding, so why the hell not take one last lap around the motu?

- And will Estelle Perry be joining you on this lap?

- Really none of your business. - But she's in the picture.

- She's an old friend.

- Dutifully waiting at the motel until it's safe for the two of you to ride off into the sunset.

- How I choose to spend my last days is nobody's business but my own.

Please leave and don't return. You're not even a real cop anymore.

- But I do know a real criminal when I see one.

- Afternoon.

Travelling.

(QUIRKY, MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

(BIKE ENGINE GROWLS)

Good catch up with Martin, was it?

- What?

- Just, um, just a few quick questions.

- Starting with are you an accessory to murder?

Did you provide Martin Bromley with the pills he used to kill his wife?

- I have nothing to say.

- Tale as old as time, really.

- It's Romeo and Juliet for the Twilight set.

- A dying man, an old flame that still burns.

Off the wife, hit the road.

- And down the track, he changes his will to leave you everything.

- Except Maude blew a big hole in that by leaving her half of everything to Pam.

- So, what's the plan now, Estelle?

Now that you and Martin have had a chance to catch up?

- You're so wrong.

- Oh, hey, listen. Always willing to be proven wrong.

- I love Martin. Maude got him first.

Being a dude, it took him a while to figure out she was a passive-aggressive cow,

all the time everybody was thinking she was so lovely.

They were perfect together. It was the opposite.

I wouldn't be surprised if she gave him the damn cancer.

- So when did you decide to kill her?

- I never decided anything.

- When did Martin decide to kill her?

- I'm not saying anything else. I owe him that much.

- Estelle, your pills were used to poison Maude Bromley.

Whether you provided them or not.

- Just tell us, Estelle.

- Every now and then, me and Martin would sneak a weekend together

when Maude was at one of her garden shows.

It was after one of those weekends at my place that I discovered my six month prescription ofHerzogin

was gone, along with Martin.

- OK, so did you ask him about it?

- I'm not the boss of Martin. No, I didn't ask him.

I thought it was for when the cancer got too much.

Not for when his wife got too much.

- So that's your story and you're sticking to it?

- Yeah.

- Would you mind repeating it as a statement of fact for this officer right here?

- (SIGHS)

- Why is Jamie here?

- Oh, let's just say there's been a development in the case of Maude and Martin.

- Well, is it important, then, that Pam has just left to go and see Martin?

- Apparently he called her. Wants to make things right.

- Right.

- Pam. Thank you for coming.

- Always willing to talk, Martin.

(SIRENS WAIL)

- Garden.

Do not drink that wine, Pam! Pam.

- No. I wasn't planning to. I don't drink alcohol.

- Of course you don't.

- Which you would know if you'd ever paid any attention when I was visiting Maude.

- Why'd you take the glass then? - Because I'm polite.

I was just going to stand here and hold it.

Just as well, it seems.

- Martin. We've spoken to Estelle.

- She's not happy you dragged her into all of this.

- I know. She's ended it with me.

We were going to spend the rest of my life together.

Then I could leave her all this to say thank you for being my one true love.

Stupid me. (CHUCKLES WRYLY) Living in the past.

- Why didn't you just leave Maude?

Why did― Why'd you have to kill her?

- The rest of the world loved Maude.

But I fell out of love with her many years ago.

The only time I was ever happy was when I was able to spend time with Estelle.

But when you realise you have nothing,

it's only a short step to nothing left to lose.

The research was easy.

Estelle's meds seem like the most peaceful way to make it happen.

- You monster!

- Monster is right.

Sitting there watching your wife enjoying the dinner her loving husband had prepared for her...

- And waiting for the poisoned wine to do its thing.

When Maude started to feel unwell and took herself upstairs to lie down,

that's when you knew your plan was working.

- And there was no going back. Right, Martin?

All that was left to do was plant the end of life literature you printed out.

- Oh, and drink your glass of Herzogin and merlot, of course.

Bit of a risk taking the poison yourself.

- But you'd done the research. Half a glass. No more, no less.

So then you find Maude's phone, send the text to Hugh...

- And then you lie down next to your wife, who was probably already dead.

- The whole idea was to make this look like Maude's doing.

- That was his mistake.

Idiot.

The idea that Maude couldn't live a day without you.

She was counting the days.

- No.

- Oh, yes.

- Why didn't she just leave me, then?

- Cos you were dying, and she's a decent person.

We were going to go to Japan.

Watch the cherry blossoms.

- Murder's never the answer, mate.

- (LAUGHS ANGRILY)

Well, enjoy the house and the bloody garden.

This is Martin. Over and out.

- Stop! Stop! Stop! - No, no, no, no!

(BITTERSWEET MUSIC)

- # Haven't been home for a matter of months.

# Gonna pack my bags and go.

- Well, that was a lovely ceremony.

- I'm just sorry Martin couldn't be there to hear how loved Maude was.

- Yeah. And for a dying man, he has the constitution of an ox.

- # Some time in the morning, but I don't know at what time.

# So good to see you.

# Been such a long time.

# I heard you had a touch of flu somewhere down the line.

# Should have gone to a college... #

- Cheers.

- The great work is complete.

- Ooh.

Wow. This is great.

- Saffrom, you have a gift.

- I'm wasted in motel cleaning.

- Your talents do lie elsewhere.

- Oh, wait. Go back?

Aw. Lose this page?

- Why? You both look great. - No. Delete, Saffron.

- Come on. You two are very photogenic.

- No, we just prefer to not be...

- OK, well, the website's already live.

- Nah, nah, take that one down. Lose that page.

- And then you can put it back up.

- You guys on the run or something?

- Something dodgy, but sure. Done. Weirdos.

- Not weird, thank you. Just shy.

Half a day. Shouldn't be a problem.

- Yeah, it'd be bad luck.

Nah. We'll be fine.

We'll be fine.

I do not love running.

- Well, it could be worse.

You could be one of the party animals from unit two last night.

- Oh. No. Ow.

- Sheesh. Who died?

- The woman in Unit 11, actually.

- I'm sure this is not in my job description.

But I'm so here for it.

- (SCREAMS)

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Tell me the truth. Are you guys in witness protection?

- Apparently, you're failed cops.

- Retired. - Yeah. Retired.