Original subtitles

What are you doing, Bean?

I'm making the Pit of Doom.

It's a deadly trap

for catching really dangerous things.

Wanna help? It'll be fun.

We just want the dirt.

Lots and lots of dirt.

Fine, take some.

But not too much. I know how you guys work.

"Pinch of lilac."

"Strand of hair dark as night."

"Toe of dead frog?"

Maybe I don't need that.

Clear as water.

Light as air.

Circle three times.

The first with care.

Ivy! I'm starting breakfast.

Coming!

Though you won't see me.

Three steps forward.

Fourth, if you dare.

Look straight to the glass. You will not be there.

Yes! Yes!

Invisibility is mine!

Wondrous!

Hey. Pancakes sound good, or is it more of a waffles-for-the-weekend thing?

You can see me?

Yes.

Is that the right answer?

I guess I do need a frog.

Bean's pit isn't gonna catch anything.

Yeah, trapping pits are normally rectangular.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Bean should stick to sandcastles.

Yeah.

-Hey, Bean-breath!

Breakfast! Come in.

Like, now.

Mom said.

Here's your breakfast!

Ew, ew! Get those worms away.

Wanna help make the Pit of Doom?

It's gonna be awesomer than that cave we made.

I do not play make-believe in the dirt anymore.

Well, you do play make-believe that you're a grown-up.

Just because you're 12 doesn't make you the boss of me, Nancy.

-Little sisters are so annoying!

Over here.

Leo! You have to come over after breakfast!

We have to finish the Pit of Doom today, okay?

-What?

I said you have to come over after breakfast and finish the

Bernice Blue.

Sorry, Mrs. Trantz. It was an accident.

Accidents are what happen when little children don't behave.

Dottsy! Do not let Bernice Blue interrupt your tinkle time.

Oh-hoo-hoo! You did it! Ooh!

It's a good one too.

Ooh!

Aw. Yeah.

We don't like children. Do we, Dottsy?

We don't because they're yucky and mucky and icky, icky, icky.

All right, my baby. Okay, let's do this.

Just remember, I have your mother's phone number.

Bean! Breakfast!

I have to take the girls shopping later. Wanna come?

La, la, la. Were you saying something?

Do you want to take the girls shopping?

Sorry, I can't hear you, so I probably can't help.

La, la, la, la.

Mom, there's a place that does ear-piercing

right by where we're shopping today.

Not happening.

If Mrs. Trantz calls, it was an accident.

Again, Bean?

Hey, Dad, Leo and me are going to finish the Pit of Doom today.

-"Leo and I." Subject pronoun.

Oh!

Hello, Mrs. Trantz.

She is out of control.

Do you mean my pit? The one I was digging for the tree?

Yes! It's in case any bears or bad guys come into our yard.

They'll fall in and be trapped.

You actually think you're gonna catch a bear?

And then what?

I could train her and take her to this week's show-and-tell.

Well, if I were you, I'd be sure to consider

the standing height of your average grizzly.

So you know how deep to dig the pit.

No.

-Yay!

Oh, yeah!

Yes, Bean does get distracted.

-I don't know where she gets it from. -Yeah!

Come on, Nancy. Show us how it's done.

Nancy?

That's our rule. We hear the music, and we have to dance.

Grow up. The rules have changed.

Remember?

You signed it.

Your mother never let you? Really?

My mother would never have…

Be kind.

Tell the truth.

Listen to others.

No name-calling, and no playing tricks.

Mm-hmm.

-And no slurping your cereal.

No being gross on purpose.

Sometimes being gross on purpose is useful.

Hmm…

You know that if you break three rules in one day, that's it.

Serious consequences.

Ew!

You… are infuriating!

-Yes. Yes. Bye. -Oh, hey, Bean. Bean. Bean.

-Try to stay clean today because

You and I are taking Nancy shopping in a bit for school clothes.

-You might wanna get something too. -No!

Yes, that's your child.

Any plans for today?

I'll be here doing research.

I need to find a frog.

Oh, like one for a pet?

More like one that's old

and getting ready to donate his body to science and/or magic.

Oh.

Oh, I'd love to donate my body to magic.

Well, um, frogs, I hear, are found outside.

So come and get some fresh air. Outside.

You know, that girl across the street, she seems nice.

Wouldn't you wanna join them? Make a new friend?

-Bean?

Mm-hmm.

No thanks.

What's wrong with Bean?

She just runs around and makes noise.

Well, why do you say that?

-I can make more noise than you!

Okay. But, you know, you don't even really know her yet.

Who knows? You might change your mind.

I won't change my mind.

One thing I do know about Bean is she has no imagination.

I tiptoed up to the edge of the Pit of Doom,

and there was this kind of snuffling sound below.

At first, I thought it was Leo with a bad cold,

but when I looked in…

There it was.

-Wow!

It's humongous!

That's not gonna happen, Bean.

The only thing that's going to fall in this pit is you.

-Hey! Watch the cleats.

I have a game this afternoon.

Why would you want to play something you have to stay clean for?

I like the uniform.

I'm gonna get you!

A perfect neighborhood is one without leaves or children.

Isn't that right, Dottsy?

Hey, babe.

-Oh, thank you. -Uh-huh.

Okay, Dad!

Remember when it felt that easy?

Everything was so… under control.

You mean, back when we had just one kid?

-Mm.

It was nice.

-Now, two kids. -Mm.

-Double the learning experience.

-Yeah, well…

What do you think we'll be learning about today?

I'm gonna get you!

-Get away from me!

-Bean! -Get away from me!

Just wanna wash your uniform for you!

-No! No!

-Ooh!

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

You! You! You!

Hmph!

Mrs. Trantz?

-Oh! I… -I can help you.

All right, handsy!

-Dottsy! Come back to mama.

Ow, ow, ow! Don't trip.

-Ow, ow!

Dottsy!

You and I have different interpretations of clean.

I am clean, mostly.

-The water just washed off all the dirt.

Mine.

-Mom!

I'm ready.

Bean, as a favor to me and my sanity,

go inside, take a shower, and put on something clean.

Please don't make me go, Mom.

-Shopping sucks my bones.

Mom, I think red makes my eyes pop.

What color says, "I value my education"?

Bean, don't lie on the floor.

Please, can we leave? This is taking forever.

What do you think?

I think it's gonna be night soon,

which means burglars and bears.

Bean, get off the floor.

Please, I wanna get home and dig the pit before it's too late.

It's hard, and nobody's helping.

I have an idea. Why don't you ask the new girl?

-Ivy? -Yes.

She seems nice.

Nice is boring.

She wears headbands.

Why do you think Ivy's boring?

Because she is.

All she does is read.

At recess, Mom. She reads at recess.

Well, Ivy just moved here, Bean. She probably doesn't have friends yet.

I think I'll get it.

Hmm. I think this hem's a little short.

Okay. Right here.

What? What is this?

Okay.

-Bean, what are you doing? -Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

-Mom? -Hmm?

It's kinda expensive.

Am I getting extra clothes allowance? Now that I'm not a kid anymore.

Oh, for the love of Betsy, just get the dang skirt!

Don't be such a tightwad.

What did you call me?

Where on Earth did you hear that?

Grandma. Who's Betsy?

It's just an expression.

Calling someone a tightwad is rude, Bean.

Apologize to Nancy, please.

Yeah. Apologize.

I'm sorry you're such a tightwad.

Bernice Blue,

can you behave for ten minutes?

-Please.

Hmm.

Wouldn't pierced ears look great with my hair like this?

Nice try.

Let's trick the tightwad.

Come on, Nancy.

Take the bait.

Very funny, Bean.

I am not Bean.

I am the ghost of Mr. Killop.

I can see your pants.

I lived in this house until I died of bad breath and busted boils.

So I haunt the bush in front of it.

Get out of there, Bean.

Stay away!

Or in the dark of night, icy fingers will wrap around your neck.

Ow!

Help!

Ow! Ow!

Let go!

My tiny delicate bone.

You broke my arm.

I did not.

You okay?

-I didn't mean to.

Fooled ya! Silly big sister!

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

I got you!

Nope.

I got you.

You know the rules.

Three strikes, you're out.

I didn't break three rules.

You called me a tightwad.

That breaks rule one.

"Be kind."

Two, you tried to trick me with fake money.

"No playing tricks."

Three, you just lied about your arm being broken.

"No lying."

There's four. You wiggled your butt.

And five and six.

But it doesn't even matter

because you're already gonna face serious consequences.

Hmm.

Oh, yeah? See if I care.

And I'm not getting consequences in my face because I'm running away.

Mom!

-Mom!

-Mom! -And you'll never ever find me!

Not even if you hire a detective.

-What? What? What?

I don't know. And she was reeling it into the bush,

and then I pulled her out, and she turned around, and she wiggled her butt at me…

Psst!

Follow me.

Come to my backyard. If you dare.

The coast is clear.

But from here on in, you have to put on this.

Why?

Because it's a secret passageway.

No peeking.

Do everything I say so you won't get hurt.

-Run!

You can look now.

Ta-da!

You've run away.

Whoa!

-Persephone, say hello to Bean. -Bonjour, Bean.

It's my secret garden. Did you read that book?

I'll bring lots of food and blankets.

I'm only running away until dinner.

What's the puddle for?

It's not a puddle.

It's a pond. A frog pond.

A pond for a guppy maybe.

If I was a frog, I don't think I'd want to live there.

But would you wanna die there?

Wouldn't you get in trouble if your mom found out I was hiding here,

and it was your idea?

No.

I forgot, kids like you don't get in trouble.

I do too!

For what? Reading books? You can't get in trouble for reading.

I will get in trouble, huge trouble. If I do what I wanna do.

What's that?

Spells, magic, potions.

Hang on.

Are you some kind of… witch?

-You are a witch! -A witch in training.

Although Grandma tells me

that I probably know more than some born witches.

This is so organized.

I made it so there's separate places for

toys, potions, reading,

sleeping, and dress-up.

Oh, and this is my doll collection.

Meet Ellie and Esmerelda.

Periwinkle. Quite the gossip.

Lilith.

Dorothy.

Pavlova.

And this is Annie and Sophie.

Is this a mummy?

I'm gonna build a pyramid to bury her in.

Nice!

So, what spells can you do?

I just learned the spell that makes you dance forever.

And I'm working on a spell that makes you invisible.

Let's do it, right now!

I would, except I need a dead frog.

It'd be mean to kill a frog.

That's why I'm building a pond.

So, a frog will move in and die of old age.

That's pretty smart.

This part is really secret.

My witch's robe.

Hmm?

Whoa, Nelly!

Watch this.

It's my spell book.

This is so amazing.

Where did you get this?

My grandma sent it to me.

Is she a witch-in-training too?

She says that she isn't, but I have my doubts. Hmm.

And… my magic wand!

That's just a stick

It's a wand.

And you better watch out, or I'll use it on you.

I'll make you dance forever!

You just gave me the best idea.

Let's do the spell on Nancy.

She deserves it for being such a booger-head.

So, a spell would be perfect.

Especially, if we made you look like a real witch.

I am a real witch.

No offense, but you don't look it.

Do you have any face paint, fake blood,

glue, maybe some scissors?

Um, Bean never came in. Do you know where she is?

I told you, she ran away from home.

Could you go find her, please?

Are those mine?

Why?

What is the point?

You're not even gonna punish her.

She'll be cleaning her room all afternoon. Now go find your sister.

Fine.

I wouldn't wear these anyway.

Hmm.

-Did you make them or something? -No. I didn't make them.

I made them.

Just remember what we'll be saying in another 15 years.

Fifteen years, we'll be basking somewhere

-on a wonderful beach, alone. -Ooh, I like that idea.

-Oh, my gosh. -Margaritas.

-You hungry, baby?

You were right.

I do look amazing.

You're going to scare Nancy to death.

-Hey, Bean-breath!

Stop running away this minute, Bean!

Mom wants you home!

Now!

How soon can we do the spell?

Right away. Just need… worms.

Worms? No problem.

Let's go get my trowel.

We're on a worm mission.

Oh, yeah.

Let's do this.

-Whoa. -Oh! Hello.

Would that be my eye shadow?

And my trowel?

Yup! Hi! I'm Bean.

-From across the street. -I know.

Hi, it's nice to meet you. I'm Ivy's mom, Katrine.

So, when did you two start playing?

We're not playing. We're on a mission.

Oh, what a nice idea.

Have fun.

Yes!

Why do moms always say "nice?"

Nice is boring. I'm glad you're not nice.

I'm glad you're not nice too.

Bean!

This is the final warning bozo-face.

Mom wants you in… here

now!

Bean, you're in so much trouble.

We can't go that way.

We have to get the worms for the spell before Nancy sees us.

Come home now!

-But there's no way out there. -Bean?

You like secret passageways.

Well, this is top secret.

No one will see this passageway to my house.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

There are 12 houses in Pancake Court,

and I have discovered a secret passageway through all of them.

Follow me, and we can get from your backyard

to the Pit of Doom undetected.

There we will get the worms, sneak up on Nancy, and do the spell.

Follow me.

This is Poopy Yard.

I call it no-man's land.

Sergeant Bean, there are mines ahead.

How do we proceed?

We have to move fast.

Step exactly where I step.

Ugh!

I've been hit! Ugh!

Soldier down!

Stay with me, Bean. Stay with me.

This is enemy territory.

Stay sharp.

Um…

Easy.

We got this.

Whoa!

Who lives here?

Who's the worst possible person who could live here?

An ogre!

They're the worst possible.

They're dangerously aggressive and territorial.

And they eat children.

Tidbits, tidbits, yummy, tasty tidbits.

Oh! Look at what's cooking in my pot.

-Dottsy, we're going to eat well tonight.

-Little girl soup. Mmm…

I don't like being soup.

We better keep moving before she sees us.

The way out is behind that statue.

Ooh!

Bean.

Bean!

Do the invisibility spell!

-You've got the frog. Do the spell.

Hurry! She's going to see us!

-I need lilac! Lilac! -Hurry. Hurry!

Oh, Dottsy. Don't eat the frog.

You two. You stay right there. Right there.

We had a frog.

Bernice Blue.

Who else could it be except for… you. Whatever you are.

I'm Ivy, I live over

Well, "Ivy," do you know anything about trespassing?

Your friend Bernice does not seem to.

Sorry, it was an emergency.

Hmm. I don't think you're sorry at all.

Though you will be because there are consequences

for coming uninvited into other people's yards.

Oh!

-Ew, ew! Poo on you.

I feel sick.

I think I might throw up.

Yes, that's the emergency I was telling you about.

Mm… Hmm. Nice try.

You…

both come in the house while I call

Mm-mm. Mm.

Don't you dare.

Go! Run!

Out of my yard! Now!

That's what we were doing!

Dottsy!

-Ivy, that was awesome.

Be wary.

Sometimes allies, sometimes foes.

Wow!

Do you also build pyramids?

Did you take all of my dirt? You can't have all of it.

It is pretty nice.

Homeschooled.

Lucky.

This is Ivy, by the way.

Ivy, this is Travis and Trevor. They're twins.

But it's important that you respond to us as individuals.

Hi, Travis. Hi, Trevor.

Hey there, Ivy.

-Bye, Travis. Bye, Trevor. -Bye, Travis. Bye, Trevor.

-Bye. -Bye.

As soon as you go through, watch out for the Pit of Doom.

And crawl along the fence to the playhouse,

so we can figure out whether it's safe or not to get the worms.

Nancy might be watching,

so stay low.

And yes, we do build pyramids.

Did you want one with smooth sides or with steps?

Steps, please.

There's the pit.

There's the playhouse.

I've looked everywhere, Mom! Bean's vanished.

Bean?

Mm-hmm.

So, the first thing we do is get the worms,

then figure out a way to creep up on Nancy.

Here's the spell.

"Dance Everlasting."

"Dance and squiggle, worm a-wiggle"

Just say the magic words and throw the worms. It's pretty simple.

Okay, so how many worms, exactly?

Twenty worms, exactly.

Dottsy?

Dottsy!

Dot

Huh!

I just saw worms here. This is a worm place.

Speak to us, oh, wiggly worms.

Reveal where you are hiding.

Try there.

-Ivy, you're a worm whisperer.

Did I ever mention how much Nancy hates worms?

I love them.

They're so wet and slimy,

and they can regenerate parts of their bodies.

-And we got lots of tomatoes…

…corn, zucchini.

Dad's coming.

Hide in the jungle!

-A viper!

A cobra!

A viper cobra.

The most dangerous kind!

Hurry!

Over here, I'd try to plant something new.

And this year was corn and

Oh, yum.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be surprised at how quickly they grow.

And… here we are.

Uh… Raccoons?

Maybe. Or bears.

I've heard tell there's a grizzly problem out here.

What's my mom doing here?

My dad invites everyone over for vegetables.

My mom says that he has a green thumb.

But I've checked a bunch of times, and it looks normal to me.

…aspect of life. I don't make the rules.

-Can they see us? -No way.

I don't know why kids have to run through the garden.

That is way more fun than running through the yard.

Guess what? I just thought of how we can sneak up on Nancy.

Stay out of my string beans, bears,

or be ready to face show-and-tell.

They really think we can't see them.

Danger ahead. Follow me.

Do not understand.

Move like a shadow. Move like a ghost. Move like a ninja.

Understood.

Dottsy?

Dottsy!

Dottsy?

You should probably take some tomatoes, too.

-That'd be so great. -Excuse me.

Have you seen my Dottsy?

He's having a moment in my tomatoes.

-Oh!

Dottsy, did you chase those bad little girls?

-Have you met Mrs. Trantz?

-No, not yet. But, um… -She's very…

-She seems interesting. -Uh, ye-yeah, interesting.

That's not fake crying.

That's real crying.

That's so weird. Nancy never cries.

Maybe she's sad because you ran away, and it's all her fault.

Maybe she's sorry for being mean.

And for never playing with me anymore.

I bet she wishes she was a better sister.

Now she just sits by the window waiting for your return.

I wouldn't mind a sister like that.

Oh!

I must go!

Bean is out there!

Somewhere!

I must find her and bring her home!

-Nancy. -Don't try and stop me!

It's all my fault!

We agree. It is your fault.

You should search for the rest of your life to find your sweet…

…and kind and adorable little sister.

Bean!

Maybe we shouldn't do the spell.

It's probably not fun to dance forever.

And not stop until your feet are bloody stumps.

It's so not fair, Mom.

Everyone but me has them.

Everyone.

Even some of Bean's stupid friends.

We've discussed this a million times, Nancy.

You'll get them when you're 13.

She's not crying about me.

She's crying about having her ears pierced.

You're a booger-head! You know that?

Booger-heads don't wear earrings!

Booger-heads just wear boogers!

Mom!

I found Bean!

You are so busted!

Stop! I command you to leave Bean alone!

I hope you're ready to dance forever!

Until the day you die!

Do the spell.

Is that a magic wand?

It is your doom.

Are you pretending to be some sort of… witch?

She is a witch. A witch-in-training.

"Dance and squiggle, worm a-wiggle, long as you live, you'll always jiggle!"

You're doing a spell.

I'm so scared.

Stop making fun of my friend.

Your friend?

I thought you said she's the boring girl who wears headbands and reads at recess.

Prepare to dance forever!

What? No!

Stop it! Get them off of me! Get them off!

Oh! Get them off!

She's… dancing!

Oh no. I'm out of worms.

-Uh…

Run!

I am going to kill you!

Huh? Uh...

-Nancy! Sweetie.

Ooh.

She's still dancing.

The spell worked!

-Dottsy, no.

Stay away from those terrible children.

Oh. Oh, oh.

Get me out of this pit!

Look! Bean's pit did catch something.

Honey, are you okay?

I don't like dirt!

No dessert and no TV for a week?

If that's what consequences are, it's not too, too bad.

I don't think your mom was that mad.

Mom, help.

Nancy, come on. Baby, come on.

-Get up.

And Dad didn't seem too mad either.

Upsidaisy. You've had quite the day.

-All right.

Yeah, just give me a little boost here.

Use your legs. Yeah, use your legs. There you go.

I knew the pit would catch something, but how come Nancy stopped dancing?

Isn't it a forever spell?

Yeah, but we didn't have 20 worms, so it only half worked.

We'll have to do it again.

What if we do the dancing spell on Mrs. Trantz?

We can do it on the people who keep the dog in the Poopy Yard.

Imagine if they had to dance forever around poop!

Excuse me, but your plans for tomorrow may not include

spells on neighbors, terrorizing your sister,

dog poop, worms, or Pits of Doom.

Is that clear?

It's almost time for supper. Do you wanna walk Ivy home?

-Yes!

You know what's so weird?

I did use to think you were boring.

I thought you were boring.

I thought all you ever did was read.

I thought all you ever did was run around making noise.

Do you really not like headbands?

Mm.

No way!

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

See you tomorrow?

And the day after that.

And the day after that.

Bye, Bean!

Bye, Ivy!

Did you win, Leo?

No, but I was great.

That bathroom is haunted.

Sometimes it's easier to feel the ghost.

It's like a cold wind passing right through you.

I am honored to welcome you to curriculum night.

Where is Bean off to?

You can bet she's up to something nefarious.

Hide!

Where's your hall pass?

Detention!

Hello, my lovelies.