Original subtitles

PARAMOUNT NEWS BRINGS YOU

A SPECIAL COVERAGE

OF PRINCESS ANN'S LONDON VISIT,

THE FIRST STOP ON HER MUCH-PUBLICIZED GOOD-WILL TOUR

OF EUROPEAN CAPITALS.

SHE GETS A ROYAL WELCOME FROM THE BRITISH,

AS THOUSANDS CHEER THE GRACIOUS YOUNG MEMBER

OF ONE OF EUROPE'S OLDEST RULING FAMILIES.

AFTER THREE DAYS OF CONTINUOUS ACTIVITY

AND A VISIT TO BUCKINGHAM PALACE,

ANN FLEW TO AMSTERDAM,

WHERE HER ROYAL HIGHNESS DEDICATED

THE NEW INTERNATIONAL AID BUILDING

AND CHRISTENED AN OCEAN LINER,

THEN WENT TO PARIS,

WHERE SHE ATTENDED MANY OFFICIAL FUNCTIONS DESIGNED

TO CEMENT TRADE RELATIONS BETWEEN HER COUNTRY

AND THE WESTERN EUROPEAN NATIONS.

AND SO TO ROME, THE ETERNAL CITY,

WHERE THE PRINCESS' VISIT WAS MARKED

BY A SPECTACULAR MILITARY PARADE

HIGHLIGHTED BY THE BAND OF THE CRACK BERSAGLIERE REGIMENT.

(PLAYING TRUMPETS)

THE SMILING YOUNG PRINCESS SHOWED NO SIGN

OF THE STRAIN OF THE WEEK'S PUBLIC APPEARANCES.

AND AT HER COUNTRY'S EMBASSY THAT EVENING,

A FORMAL RECEPTION AND BALL IN HER HONOR

WAS GIVEN BY HER COUNTRY'S AMBASSADOR TO ITALY.

(FANFARE)

LA SUA ALTEZZA REALE...

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS.

HIS EXCELLENCY, THE PAPAL NUNCIO,

MONSIGNOR ALTOMONTE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

SIR HUGO MACY DE FARMINGTON.

GOOD EVENING, SIR HUGO.

GOOD EVENING, YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS.

HIS HIGHNESS THE MAHARAJAH OF KHANIPUR

AND THE RAIKUUARI.

I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD COME.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, MADAM.

FRIHERRE ERICK AF MASSINSJARNA BERGENSKIOLD.

GUTEN ABEND.

PRINCE ISTVAN BAROSSY NAGYAVAROS.

HOW DO YOU DO?

IRHE HOHEIT DER FURST UND DIE FURSTIN

VON UND ZU LUCHTENSTICHENHOLZ.

GUTEN ABEND.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

SIR HARI SINGH

AND KMARK SINGH.

THE COUNT AND COUNTESS VON MARSTRAND.

GOOD EVENING, COUNTESS.

GOOD EVENING.

SENOR Y SENORA JOAQUIN DE CAMOES.

GOOD EVENING.

HASAAN EL DIN PASHA.

HOW DO YOU DO?

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

I HATE THIS NIGHTGOWN.

I HATE ALL MY NIGHTGOWNS,

AND I HATE ALL MY UNDERWEAR, TOO.

MY DEAR, YOU HAVE LOVELY THINGS.

BUT I'M NOT 2OO YEARS OLD.

WHY CAN'T I SLEEP IN PAJAMAS?

PAJAMAS!

JUST THE TOP PART.

DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE

WHO SLEEP WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON AT ALL?

I REJOICE TO SAY THAT I DID NOT.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

LISTEN.

OH, ANN, YOUR SLIPPERS.

PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SLIPPERS

AND COME AWAY FROM THE WINDOW.

YOUR MILK AND CRACKERS.

EVERYTHING WE DO IS SO WHOLESOME.

THEY'LL HELP YOU TO SLEEP.

I'M TOO TIRED TO SLEEP.

I SHAN'T SLEEP A WINK.

NOW, DEAR, IF YOU DON'T MIND,

TOMORROW'S "SHEDULE" OR "SKEDULE"...

WHICHEVER YOU PREFER. BOTH ARE CORRECT.

8:30... BREAKFAST WITH THE EMBASSY STAFF.

9:00... THE POLINARI AUTOMOTIVE WORKS.

YOU'LL BE PRESENTED WITH A CAR.

THANK YOU.

WHICH YOU WILL NOT ACCEPT.

NO, THANK YOU.

1O:35... AN AGRICULTURAL ORGANIZATION

PRESENTS YOU WITH AN OLIVE TREE.

NO, THANK YOU.

WHICH YOU WILL ACCEPT.

THANK YOU.

10:55... THE NEW FOUNDLING HOME FOR ORPHANS.

YOU WILL PRESIDE OVER THE LAYING OF THE CORNERSTONE.

SAME SPEECH AS LAST MONDAY.

TRADE RELATIONS.

YES.

FOR THE ORPHANS?

OH, NO, NO. THE OTHER ONE.

YOUTH AND PROGRESS.

PRECISELY.

11:45... BACK HERE TO REST.

NO, THAT'S WRONG.

11:45... CONFERENCE HERE WITH THE PRESS.

SWEETNESS AND DECENCY.

1:00 SHARP... LUNCH WITH THE FOREIGN MINISTRY.

YOU WILL WEAR YOUR WHITE LACE AND CARRY

VERY SMALL VERY SMALL PINK ROSES. PINK ROSES.

3:05...

PRESENTATION OF A PLAQUE.

THANK YOU.

4:10... REVIEW SPECIAL GUARD OF CARABINIER POLICE.

NO, THANK YOU.

4:45... BACK HERE...

HOW DO YOU DO? CHARMED.

STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!

(CRYING)

IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT DIDN'T SPILL.

I DON'T CARE IF IT SPILLED!

I DON'T CARE IF I DROWNED IN IT!

MY DEAR, YOU'RE ILL.

I'LL SEND FOR DR. BONNACHOVEN.

I DON'T WANT DR. BONNACHOVEN!

PLEASE LET ME DIE IN PEACE.

YOU'RE NOT DYING.

LEAVE ME!

LEAVE ME!

IT'S NERVES. CONTROL YOURSELF, ANN.

I DON'T WANT TO!

YOUR HIGHNESS!

I'LL GET DR. BONNACHOVEN.

IT'S NO USE.

I'LL BE DEAD BEFORE HE GETS HERE.

(SOB)

SHE'S ASLEEP.

SHE WAS IN HYSTERICS THREE MINUTES AGO, DOCTOR.

Are you asleep, ma'am?

NO!

I'LL ONLY DISTURB YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS A MOMENT.

I'M VERY ASHAMED, DR. BONNACHOVEN.

I... SUDDENLY, I WAS CRYING.

HMM! TO CRY...

A PERFECTLY NORMAL THING TO DO.

IT'S MOST IMPORTANT SHE BE CALM AND RELAXED

FOR THE PRESS CONFERENCE, DOCTOR.

DON'T WORRY, DOCTOR.

I'LL BE CALM AND RELAXED.

I'LL BOW, AND I'LL SMILE.

I'LL IMPROVE TRADE RELATIONS AND...

(CRYING)

THERE SHE GOES AGAIN. GIVE HER SOMETHING, DOCTOR.

UNCOVER HER ARM.

WHAT'S THAT?

SLEEP, CALM... THIS WILL RELAX YOU

AND MAKE YOUR HIGHNESS FEEL A LITTLE HAPPY.

IT'S A NEW DRUG, QUITE HARMLESS.

(THUD)

THERE.

I DON'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT.

YOU WILL. IT MAY TAKE A LITTLE TIME TO TAKE HOLD.

JUST LIE BACK.

CAN I KEEP JUST ONE LIGHT ON?

OF COURSE.

BEST THING I KNOW

IS TO DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU WISH FOR A WHILE.

THANK YOU, DOCTOR.

OH, THE GENERAL! DOCTOR, QUICK!

OH!

HA!

I'M PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, MA'AM.

GOOD NIGHT, MA'AM.

GOOD NIGHT, DOCTOR.

(MUSIC)

(VOICES AND LAUGHTER)

(CLANK)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(HORN HONKS)

(YAWN)

BET 500.

500. HOW MANY?

ONE.

I'LL TAKE ONE.

THREE.

FOOLISH BOY.

TWO FOR PAPA.

500 MORE.

WITHOUT LOOKING.

500, AND, UH... I'LL RAISE YOU 1,000.

TWO PAIRS.

OH, I GOT THREE SHY LITTLE SEVENS.

A NERVOUS STRAIGHT.

COME HOME, YOU FOOLS.

LOOK AT THAT. 6,500.

NOT BAD. THAT'S 1O BUCKS.

ONE MORE ROUND,

AND I'M THROWING YOU GENTS OUT IN THE SNOW.

SAY!

I GOT TO GET UP EARLY.

DATE WITH HER ROYAL HIGHNESS,

WHO WILL GRACIOUSLY POSE FOR PICTURES.

EARLY? MY PERSONAL INVITATION SAYS 11:45.

COULDN'T BE BECAUSE YOU'RE AHEAD?

IT COULD.

IT WORKS OUT FINE FOR ME. THIS IS MY LAST 5,000.

YOU HYENAS WON'T GET IT. THANKS, IRVING.

SEE YOU AT ANNIE'S LITTLE PARTY

IN THE MORNING.

CIAO, JOE.

GOOD NIGHT, JOE.

ALL RIGHT, A LITTLE SEVEN-CARD STUD.

SO HAPPY.

HOW ARE YOU THIS EVENING?

MMM... MMM...

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. HEY, WAKE UP.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. DELIGHTED.

WAKE UP.

NO, THANK YOU. CHARMED.

CHARMED, TOO.

YOU MAY SIT DOWN.

I THINK YOU BETTER SIT UP.

YOU'RE MUCH TOO YOUNG TO GET

PICKED UP BY THE POLICE.

POLICE?

YEP. POLICE.

2:15 AND BACK HERE TO CHANGE. 2:45...

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WHO CAN'T HANDLE LIQUOR

SHOULDN'T DRINK IT.

"IF I WERE DEAD AND BURIED

"AND I HEARD YOUR VOICE,

"BENEATH THE SOD, MY HEART OF DUST

WOULD STILL REJOICE."

DO YOU KNOW THAT POEM?

HUH! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE WELL-READ... WELL-DRESSED...

SNOOZING AWAY IN A PUBLIC STREET.

WOULD YOU CARE TO MAKE A STATEMENT?

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS

IS A RETURN TO SWEETNESS AND DECENCY

IN THE SOULS OF ITS YOUNG MEN AND...

(GROAN)

YEAH, I, UH, COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE,

BUT, UH...

(WHISTLE)

GET YOURSELF SOME COFFEE. YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

LOOK, YOU TAKE THE CAB.

MMM...

CLIMB IN THE CAB AND GO HOME.

MMM...

SO HAPPY.

YOU GOT ANY MONEY?

NEVER CARRY MONEY.

THAT'S A BAD HABIT.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL DROP YOU OFF.

IT'S A TAXI!

WELL, IT'S NOT THE SUPER CHIEF.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

HMM? COLISEUM.

NOW, COME ON. YOU'RE NOT THAT DRUNK.

HA HA HA! YOU'RE SO SMART.

I'M NOT DRUNK AT ALL.

I'M JUST BEING VERY HAPPY.

HEY, NOW, DON'T GO TO SLEEP AGAIN. COME ON.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

UN MOMENTO.

LOOK, NOW, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?

WHERE SHALL I TAKE YOU?

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

MMM...

COME ON. COME ON. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

OH... I...

COME ON! WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

MMM! OH... COLISEUM.

SHE LIVES IN THE COLISEUM.

IS WRONG ADDRESS. NOW, LOOK, SIGNORE.

FOR ME, IT IS VERY LATE NIGHT.

I HAVE THREE BAMBINOS, THREE BAMBINOS.

YOU KNOW, BAMBINO. UH... WAH!

MY TAXI GO HOME.

I GO HOME, TOO. TOGETHER.

VIA MARGUTTA 51.

VIA MARGUTTA 51. OH, MOLTO BENE!

HERE IS VIA MARGUTTA 51.

I AM VERY HAPPY.

(TURNS OFF METER)

1,000 LIRE. MILA LIRE.

MILA.

CINQUEMILA.

1, 2, 3, 4 MILLE.

OK. MILA PER TE.

FOR ME?

SI.

OH, GRAZIE MILLE.

OK, OK. NOW, LOOK.

TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF THAT...

YEAH?

TAKE HER WHEREVER SHE WANTS TO GO, HMM?

CAPITO? CAPITO.

BUONA NOTTE.

GOOD NIGHT. BUONA NOTTE.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

OH!

MOMENTO, MOMENTO, MOMENTO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, AS SOON AS SHE WAKES UP,

SHE'LL TELL YOU WHERE SHE WANTS TO GO. OK?

MOMENTO. MY TAXI IS NOT FOR SLEEP.

MY TAXI. NO SLEEP. UNDERSTAND?

LOOK, PAL. THIS IS NOT MY PROBLEM, SEE?

I'VE NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE.

IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. IS NOT MY PROBLEM.

WHAT YOU WANT?

YOU DON'T WANT GIRL, YES?

ME DON'T WANT GIRL.

POLICE! MAYBE SHE WANT GIRL.

STA CALMO. STA CALMO. OK, OK, OK.

VA BENE. VA BENE.

SO HAPPY...

SO HAPPY...

I OUGHT TO HAVE MY HEAD EXAMINED.

IS THIS THE ELEVATOR?

IT'S MY ROOM.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY TO MENTION IT,

BUT THE DIZZINESS IS GETTING WORSE.

CAN I SLEEP HERE?

THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA.

CAN I HAVE A SILK NIGHTGOWN

WITH ROSEBUDS ON IT?

I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE TO

ROUGH IT TONIGHT... IN THESE.

PAJAMAS!

SORRY, HONEY, BUT I HAVEN'T

WORN A NIGHTGOWN IN YEARS.

WILL YOU HELP ME GET UNDRESSED,

PLEASE?

UH...

OK.

UH... THERE YOU ARE. YOU CAN HANDLE THE REST.

MAY I HAVE SOME?

NO.

NOW, LOOK...

THIS IS VERY UNUSUAL.

I'VE NEVER BEEN ALONE WITH A MAN BEFORE,

EVEN WITH MY DRESS ON.

WITH MY DRESS OFF, IT'S MOST UNUSUAL.

HA! I DON'T SEEM TO MIND.

DO YOU?

I THINK I'LL GO OUT FOR A CUP OF COFFEE.

YOU'D BETTER GET TO SLEEP.

MMM...

OH, NO. ON THIS ONE.

SO TERRIBLY NICE.

HEY. HEY.

THESE ARE PAJAMAS. THEY'RE TO SLEEP IN.

YOU'RE TO CLIMB INTO THEM.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

THANK YOU.

AND YOU'RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH,

NOT ON THE BED.

IS THAT CLEAR?

DO YOU KNOW MY FAVORITE POEM?

YOU ALREADY RECITED THAT FOR ME.

"ARETHUSA ROSE FROM HER COUCH OF SNOWS

IN THE ACROCERAUNIAN MOUNTAINS."

KEATS.

SHELLEY.

KEEP YOUR MIND OFF POETRY AND ON THE PAJAMAS.

KEATS.

SHELLEY. I'LL BE BACK IN 1O MINUTES.

KEATS.

YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO WITHDRAW.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELL, NO TRACE, YOUR EXCELLENCY.

HAVE YOU SEARCHED THE GROUNDS?

FROM THE ATTICS TO THE CELLAR.

YOU MUST NOT SPEAK OF THIS TO ANYONE.

THE PRINCESS IS THE DIRECT HEIR TO THE THRONE.

THIS MUST BE TOP CRISIS SECRET.

HAVE I YOUR PLEDGE?

YES, SIR.

VERY WELL.

NOW WE MUST NOTIFY THEIR MAJESTIES.

UH...

OHH...

(DOOR SLAMS)

(SCRAPES AGAINST FLOOR)

UMM.

SO HAPPY.

THE PLEASURE'S MINE.

AH, SCREWBALL.

(STRIKING THE HOUR)

HOLY SMOKE. THE PRINCESS INTERVIEW.

HMM?

11:45.

AHH.

AH, SHH.

HI, JOE.

GOOD MORNING, JOE.

HELLO, HONEY.

MR. HENNESSY HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.

UH-OH.

THANKS A LOT, HON.

COME IN!

YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME?

JUST COMING TO WORK?

WE START OUR DAYS AT 8:3O.

WE PICK UP OUR ASSIGNMENTS...

I PICKED MINE UP LAST NIGHT.

WHAT ASSIGNMENT WAS THAT?

THE PRINCESS. 11:45.

YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN TO THE INTERVIEW?

SURE. I JUST GOT BACK.

WELL, WELL, WELL, ALL MY APOLOGIES.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS VERY INTERESTING.

DID SHE ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS ON THE LIST?

OF COURSE. I'VE GOT THEM SOMEWHERE.

DON'T DISTURB YOURSELF. I HAVE A COPY HERE.

HOW DID HER HIGHNESS REACT TO A EUROPEAN FEDERATION?

SHE THOUGHT IT WAS JUST FINE.

SHE DID?

WELL, SHE THOUGHT THAT THERE WOULD BE

TWO EFFECTS...

THE DIRECT AND THE INDIRECT.

REMARKABLE.

NATURALLY, SHE THOUGHT THAT THE INDIRECT

WOULD NOT BE AS DIRECT... AS THE DIRECT.

THAT IS, NOT RIGHT AWAY.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

LATER ON, OF COURSE, WELL...

NOBODY KNOWS.

WELL, WELL, WELL.

THAT WAS A SHREWD OBSERVATION.

THEY FOOL YOU, YOU KNOW,

THESE ROYAL KIDS.

THEY'VE GOT A LOT MORE

ON THE BALL THAN WE SUSPECT.

HOW DID SHE FEEL ABOUT

THE FUTURE FRIENDSHIP OF NATIONS?

YOUTH.

SHE FELT THAT THE YOUTH OF THE WORLD

MUST LEAD THE WAY TO A BETTER... WORLD.

ORIGINAL.

UH, BY THE WAY, WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?

OH, YOU MEAN, WHAT DID SHE HAVE ON?

WELL, THAT'S USUALLY WHAT IT MEANS.

WHAT'S WRONG? IS IT A LITTLE WARM IN HERE?

NO. I JUST HURRIED OVER HERE.

NATURALLY, WITH A STORY OF THESE DIMENSIONS.

DID YOU SAY SHE WAS WEARING GRAY?

SHE USUALLY WEARS GRAY.

WELL, IT WAS A KIND OF A GRAY.

I THINK I KNOW THE DRESS YOU MEAN.

IT HAS A GOLD COLLAR.

THAT'S THE ONE.

I THINK YOU DESCRIBED IT VERY WELL...

IN VIEW OF THE FACT THAT HER HIGHNESS

WAS TAKEN VIOLENTLY ILL AT 3 A.M.,

PUT TO BED WITH A FEVER,

AND HAS HAD ALL HER APPOINTMENTS FOR TODAY

CANCELED IN TOTO!

IN... TOTO?

YES, MR. BRADLEY, IN TOTO.

(GULP)

IT'S CERTAINLY PRETTY HARD TO SWALLOW.

IN VIEW OF THE FACT THAT YOU JUST LEFT HER.

IT'S ALL OVER THE FRONT PAGE

OF EVERY NEWSPAPER IN ROME.

OK, I OVERSLEPT. IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYBODY.

IF YOU READ A MORNING PAPER,

YOU MIGHT DISCOVER LITTLE ITEMS

THAT MIGHT PREVENT YOU FROM GETTING IMMERSED

IN SUCH A GOLD-PLATED, STAR-SPANGLED LIE

AS YOU HAVE JUST TOLD.

IF I WERE YOU, I'D TRY SOME OTHER BUSINESS...

LIKE MATTRESS TESTING.

IS THIS THE PRINCESS?

YES, THAT IS THE PRINCESS.

IT ISN'T ANNIE OAKLEY

OR MADAME CHIANG KAI-SHEK.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK.

YOU MIGHT BE INTERVIEWING HER AGAIN SOMEDAY.

AM I FIRED?

NO. WHEN I WANT TO FIRE YOU,

YOU WON'T HAVE TO ASK... YOU'LL KNOW!

THE MAN'S MAD.

(RING)

PRONTO.

GIOVANNI, IT'S JOE BRADLEY.

I WANT YOU TO HURRY UP TO MY PLACE

AND SEE IF THERE'S SOMEBODY THERE ASLEEP.

AHA. SURE, MR. JOE.

I LOOK SUBITO.

YOU WAIT. ASPETTA.

MR. JOE?

YEAH! TELL ME. TELL ME.

BELLISSIMA!

GIOVANNI, I LOVE YOU. NOW, LISTEN.

YES, MR. JOE?

A GUN?

NO!

YES, A GUN, A KNIFE, ANYTHING...

BUT NOBODY GOES IN, AND NOBODY GOES OUT.

CAPITO?

OK.

YOU STILL HERE?

HOW MUCH WOULD A REAL INTERVIEW

WITH THIS DAME BE WORTH?

ARE YOU REFERRING TO HER HIGHNESS?

I'M NOT REFERRING TO ANNIE OAKLEY. HOW MUCH?

WHAT DO YOU CARE? YOU GOT NO CHANCE.

BUT IF I DID?

A PLAIN TALK ON WORLD CONDITIONS MIGHT BE WORTH $25O.

HER VIEWS ON CLOTHES WOULD BE WORTH MORE... 1,000.

DOLLARS?

I'M TALKING ABOUT HER VIEWS ON EVERYTHING.

HUH?

THE PRIVATE AND SECRET LONGINGS OF A PRINCESS.

HER INNERMOST THOUGHTS

AS REVEALED TO YOUR ROME CORRESPONDENT

IN A PRIVATE... PERSONAL... EXCLUSIVE...

INTERVIEW.

CAN'T USE IT, HUH?

I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D LIKE IT.

COME HERE.

LOVE ANGLE, TOO, I SUPPOSE?

PRACTICALLY ALL LOVE ANGLE.

WITH PICTURES.

COULD BE. HOW MUCH?

THAT PARTICULAR STORY WILL BE WORTH FIVE GRAND

TO ANY NEWS SERVICE.

TELL ME, IF YOU ARE SOBER,

JUST HOW YOU ARE GOING TO OBTAIN

THIS FANTASTIC INTERVIEW.

I'LL ENTER HER SICKROOM DISGUISED AS A THERMOMETER.

I WANT YOU TO SHAKE ON FIVE GRAND.

AND YOU REALIZE HER HIGHNESS LEAVES FOR ATHENS TOMORROW?

YEP.

I'D LIKE TO MAKE A LITTLE SIDE BET WITH YOU.

5OO SAYS YOU DON'T COME UP WITH THE STORY.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT THAT FOR?

I'M SEEING WHAT DAY IT IS.

IT'S A DEAL!

NOW I'D LIKE YOU TO SHAKE.

YOU'RE INTO ME FOR ABOUT 5OO NOW.

WHEN YOU LOSE THIS BET,

YOU'LL OWE ME A THOUSAND.

WHY, YOU POOR SUCKER, I'LL PRACTICALLY OWN YOU.

YOU HAVE PRACTICALLY OWNED ME.

I'M GOING TO WIN THAT MONEY, THOUGH,

AND BUY A ONE-WAY TICKET BACK TO NEW YORK.

I LOVE TO HEAR YOU WHINE.

WHEN I'M BACK IN A REAL NEWS ROOM,

I'LL ENJOY THINKING ABOUT YOU

WITH AN EMPTY LEASH IN YOUR HANDS

AND NOBODY TO TWITCH FOR YOU.

SO LONG, PIGEON!

(YELLING IN ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

HI, JOE. WHAT YOU KNOW?

IS EVERYTHING OK, GIOVANNI?

SI, SIGNORE JOE.

NOBODY SHE'S COME. NOBODY SHE'S GO.

ABSOLUTELY NOBODY.

SWELL. THANKS A LOT.

OH, UH, GIOVANNI...

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE SOME MONEY?

MONEY? MAGARI.

THAT'S THE STUFF.

I'VE GOT A SURE THING.

DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK IN TWO DAYS.

DOUBLE MY MONEY?

I NEED A LITTLE INVESTMENT CAPITAL

TO SWING THE DEAL.

IF YOU'LL JUST LEND ME A LITTLE CASH...

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

YOU OWING ME TWO MONTHS' RENT,

AND YOU WANT ME TO LEND YOU MONEY?

YEAH.

NO.

CERTAMENTE NO!

EH?

TOMORROW YOU'LL BE SORRY.

YOUR HIGHNESS?

UHH.

YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS?

MMM.

YES? WHAT IS IT?

OOH.

(SIREN)

DEAR DR. BONNACHOVEN...

HMM?

OH, SURE, YES,

UH, YOU'RE FINE. MUCH BETTER.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT?

SO MANY THINGS.

YES? WELL, TELL THE DOCTOR.

SO...

TELL THE GOOD DOCTOR EVERYTHING.

OH... I DREAMT, AND I DREAMT.

YES? WELL, UH, WHAT DID YOU DREAM?

I DREAMT I WAS ASLEEP IN THE STREET,

AND A YOUNG MAN CAME.

HE WAS TALL AND STRONG.

HE WAS SO MEAN TO ME.

HE WAS?

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

GOOD MORNING.

WHERE'S DR. BONNACHOVEN?

I'M AFRAID I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY

BY THAT NAME.

WASN'T I JUST TALKING TO HIM?

AFRAID NOT.

HAVE... HAVE I HAD AN ACCIDENT?

NO.

QUITE SAFE FOR ME TO SIT UP, HUH?

OH, PERFECTLY.

THANK YOU.

ARE THESE YOURS?

UH, DID YOU LOSE SOMETHING?

NO.

W-WOULD YOU BE SO KIND

AS TO TELL ME WHERE I AM?

THIS IS WHAT IS LAUGHINGLY KNOWN AS MY APARTMENT.

DID YOU BRING ME HERE BY FORCE?

NO, NO, NO.

QUITE THE CONTRARY.

HAVE I BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT... ALONE?

IF YOU DON'T COUNT ME, YES.

SO I SPENT THE NIGHT HERE WITH YOU?

WELL, NOW, I DON'T KNOW

THAT I'D USE THOSE WORDS EXACTLY,

BUT, UH...

FROM A CERTAIN ANGLE, YES.

HOW DO YOU DO?

HOW DO YOU DO?

AND YOU ARE?

BRADLEY. JOE BRADLEY.

DELIGHTED.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW DELIGHTED I AM TO MEET YOU.

YOU MAY SIT DOWN.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

UH, YOU MAY CALL ME ANYA.

THANK YOU, ANYA.

WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE?

WHAT TIME IS IT?

1:3O.

I MUST GET DRESSED AND GO!

WHAT'S YOUR HURRY? THERE'S LOTS OF TIME.

I'VE BEEN QUITE ENOUGH TROUBLE TO YOU AS IT IS.

TROUBLE? YOU'RE NOT WHAT I'D CALL TROUBLE.

I'M NOT?

I'LL RUN A BATH FOR YOU.

THERE YOU ARE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(RING)

HERE WE GO NOW.

(RING)

THERE YOU ARE.

THAT DOES IT.

(RING)

GIVE ME A LITTLE SLACK, WILL YOU?

(RING)

PRONTO.

IRVING! IT'S JOE.

CAN YOU GET OVER HERE IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES?

I CAN'T COME NOW, JOE. I'M BUSY.

OH, NO.

JOE, I'M UP TO MY EARS IN WORK.

GET INTO YOUR NEXT OUTFIT,

WILL YOU, HONEY? THE CANOE.

WHAT KIND OF A SCOOP?

I CAN'T TALK OVER THE TELEPHONE.

ONE WORD IN THE WRONG QUARTER,

AND THIS WHOLE THING MIGHT BLOW SKY-HIGH.

IT MIGHT BE POLITICAL OR A SENSATIONAL SCANDAL.

IT'S A BIG STORY. IT'S GOT TO HAVE PICTURES.

I CAN'T COME NOW, JOE.

I'M BUSY, AND I'M MEETING FRANCESCA AT ROCCA'S

IN HALF AN HOUR.

AH!

(WATER SPLASHING)

AAH!

MA GUARDA. COSA FA QUI!

SCUSI.

(YELLING IN ITALIAN)

CAPITO?

NON CAPITO. DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DON UNNERSTAND?

AH! VERGOGNA!

THERE YOU ARE.

I WAS LOOKING AT ALL THE PEOPLE OUT HERE.

IT MUST BE FUN TO LIVE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS.

I CAN GIVE YOU A RUNNING COMMENTARY ON EACH APARTMENT.

I MUST GO. I ONLY WAITED TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

GOOD-BYE? WHY, WE'VE ONLY JUST MET.

HOW ABOUT SOME BREAKFAST?

I'M SORRY. I HAVEN'T TIME.

MUST BE A PRETTY IMPORTANT DATE

TO RUN OFF WITHOUT EATING.

IT IS.

WELL, I'LL GO ALONG WITH YOU,

WHEREVER YOU'RE GOING.

I CAN FIND THE PLACE.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SLEEP IN YOUR BED.

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THINK NOTHING OF IT.

IT WAS VERY CONSIDERATE OF YOU.

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN UNCOMFORTABLE ON THAT COUCH.

NO. DO IT ALL THE TIME!

GOOD-BYE, MR. BRADLEY.

GOOD-BYE.

OH, GO RIGHT THROUGH THERE

AND DOWN ALL THE STEPS.

THANK YOU.

WELL, SMALL WORLD.

YES. I ALMOST FORGOT.

CAN YOU LEND ME SOME MONEY?

OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY LAST NIGHT, DID YOU?

HOW MUCH... HOW MUCH WAS IT THAT YOU WANTED?

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I NEED.

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU GOT?

SUPPOSE WE JUST SPLIT THIS? HERE'S 1,000 LIRE.

1,000? CAN YOU REALLY SPARE ALL THAT?

IT'S ABOUT $1.50.

OH.

I'LL ARRANGE FOR IT TO BE SENT BACK TO YOU.

WHAT IS YOUR ADDRESS?

VIA MARGUTTA. 51.

VIA MARGUTTA 51.

JOE BRADLEY.

GOOD-BYE. THANK YOU.

HA! DOUBLE MY MONEY, EH?

YOU TELL ME WHY DOUBLE MY MONEY...

TOMORROW.

YEAH, TOMORROW.

(DOG BARKING)

(BELLS RINGING)

(YELLING IN ITALIAN)

(HORN HONKS)

AAH!

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

GRAZIE.

WHAT WONDERFUL HAIR YOU HAVE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

JUST CUT, THANK YOU.

JUST CUT?

WELL, THEN, CUT SO?

HIGHER.

HIGHER?

HERE?

MORE.

HERE?

EVEN MORE.

WHERE?

THERE.

THERE?

ARE YOU SURE, MISS?

I'M QUITE SURE, THANK YOU.

ALL OFF?

ALL OFF.

OFF.

ARE YOU SURE?

YES.

YES.

OFF!

OFF!

OFF.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

HEY, KIDS!

OFF!

HMM?

THAT'S A NICE LITTLE CAMERA

YOU HAVE THERE.

AHH, IT'S NICE.

MMM. YOU DON'T MIND IF I BORROW IT, DO YOU?

MISS WEBER.

JUST FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES.

NO. LET GO. IT'S MY CAMERA.

YOU MUSICIAN, MAYBE?

YOU ARTIST? HUH?

PAINTER?

AH, I KNOW. YOU MODELLA!

MODEL, HUH?

THANK YOU.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

IT'S PERFECT.

YOU BE NICE WITHOUT LONG HAIR.

NOW IT'S COOL, HMM?

YES. IT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED.

GRAZIE.

NOW, WHY YOU NOT COME DANCING TONIGHT WITH ME?

YOU SHOULD SEE. IT'S SO NICE.

IT'S ON A BOAT ON THE TEVERE...

TIBER... THE RIVER BY SANT'ANGELO.

MOONLIGHT, MUSIC. ROMANTICO.

IT'S VERY, VERY... VERY!

PLEASE? YOU COME?

I WISH I COULD.

BUT... BUT YOUR FRIEND,

I NOT THINK THEY RECOGNIZE YOU.

NO, I DON'T THINK THEY WILL.

OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

SIGNORINA...

AFTER 9:00, I WILL BE THERE...

DANCING ON RIVER.

REMEMBER SANT'ANGELO.

ALL MY FRIENDS...

IF YOU COME, YOU WILL BE

MOST PRETTY OF ALL GIRL.

THANK YOU.

GOOD-BYE.

GOOD-BYE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

UM... GELATO?

GELATO.

THANK YOU.

GRAZIE.

SIGNORINA, IL RESTO.

OH. GRAZIE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

MILA LIRE.

1,000 LIRE.

NO MONEY.

NO?

OTTOCENTO LIRE.

I'M SORRY. I'VE REALLY NO MONEY.

SETECENTO LIRE.

LOOK.

I'M SORRY.

BUONA FORTUNA.

GRAZIE.

BENE.

WELL...

IT'S YOU.

YES, MR. BRADLEY.

OR IS IT?

DO YOU LIKE IT?

YEAH. VERY MUCH.

SO THAT WAS YOUR MYSTERIOUS APPOINTMENT.

MR. BRADLEY, I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.

CONFESSION?

YES. I RAN AWAY LAST NIGHT...

FROM SCHOOL.

OH, WHAT WAS THE MATTER?

TROUBLE WITH THE TEACHER?

NOTHING LIKE THAT.

YOU DON'T JUST RUN AWAY FOR NOTHING.

I ONLY MEANT IT TO BE FOR AN HOUR.

THEY GAVE ME SOMETHING TO MAKE ME SLEEP.

OH, I SEE.

(CHURCH BELLS RINGING)

NOW I'D BETTER GET A TAXI AND GO BACK.

BEFORE YOU DO,

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LITTLE TIME FOR YOURSELF?

MAYBE ANOTHER HOUR.

LIVE DANGEROUSLY. TAKE THE WHOLE DAY.

I COULD DO SOME THINGS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

LIKE WHAT?

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE.

I'D LIKE TO DO JUST WHATEVER I LIKE

THE WHOLE DAY LONG.

LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR CUT?

YES. I'D LIKE TO SIT IN A SIDEWALK CAFE

AND LOOK IN SHOP WINDOWS,

WALK IN THE RAIN,

HAVE FUN AND MAYBE SOME EXCITEMENT.

DOESN'T SEEM MUCH TO YOU, DOES IT?

IT'S GREAT.

TELL YOU WHAT.

WHY DON'T WE DO ALL THOSE THINGS...

TOGETHER?

DON'T YOU HAVE TO WORK?

WORK? NO. TODAY'S A HOLIDAY.

YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THOSE SILLY THINGS.

DON'T I? FIRST WISH...

ONE SIDEWALK CAFE, COMING RIGHT UP.

I KNOW JUST THE PLACE... ROCCA'S.

WHAT WILL THE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL SAY

WHEN THEY SEE YOUR NEW HAIRCUT?

THEY'LL HAVE A FIT.

WHAT WOULD THEY SAY IF THEY KNEW

I'D SPENT THE NIGHT IN YOUR ROOM?

DON'T TELL YOUR FOLKS. I WON'T TELL MINE.

IT'S A PACT.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRINK?

CHAMPAGNE, PLEASE.

UM, CAMERIERE.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

CHAMPAGNE?

SI, SI.

WELL, CHAMPAGNE PER LA SIGNORINA

AND, UH, COLD COFFEE FOR ME.

MUST BE QUITE A LIFE YOU HAVE IN THAT SCHOOL...

CHAMPAGNE FOR LUNCH.

ONLY ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS.

THE LAST TIME WAS MY FATHER'S ANNIVERSARY.

WEDDING?

NO. IT WAS THE 40th ANNIVERSARY

OF THE DAY HE GOT HIS JOB.

4O YEARS ON THE JOB. WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

WHAT DOES HE DO?

WELL, MOSTLY YOU MIGHT CALL IT

PUBLIC RELATIONS.

OH, THAT'S HARD WORK.

YES. I WOULDN'T CARE FOR IT.

DOES HE?

I'VE HEARD HIM COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.

WHY DOESN'T HE QUIT?

PEOPLE IN THAT LINE OF WORK

ALMOST NEVER DO QUIT,

UNLESS IT'S ACTUALLY UNHEALTHY FOR THEM TO CONTINUE.

HERE'S TO HIS HEALTH, THEN.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY SAYS.

IT'S ALL RIGHT?

YES, THANK YOU.

WHAT IS YOUR WORK?

OH, I'M, UH... IN THE SELLING GAME.

REALLY? HOW INTERESTING.

WHAT DO YOU SELL?

(HORSE WHINNIES)

UH, FERTILIZER.

CHEMICALS. YOU KNOW, CHEMICALS.

STUFF LIKE THAT.

HUH.

IRVING! WELL, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU!

WHY? DID YOU FORGET YOUR WALLET?

PULL UP A CHAIR. SIT DOWN WITH US.

THIS IS A GOOD FRIEND, IRVING RADOVICH. ANYA, IRVING.

ANYA...

SMITH.

OH. HIYA, SMITTY.

CHARMED.

HEY, ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU

YOU'RE A DEAD RINGER FOR... OW!

UH, WELL, UH,

I GUESS I'LL BE GOING.

DON'T DO THAT, IRVING. SIT DOWN. JOIN US.

JOIN US.

WELL, UH,

JUST TILL FRANCESCA GETS HERE.

TELL ME, MR. RADOVICH,

WHAT IS A RINGER?

OH, WAITER?

IT'S AN AMERICAN TERM,

AND IT MEANS, UH,

ANYONE WHO HAS A GREAT DEAL OF CHARM.

OH.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

CIAO, IRVING.

CIAO.

OH, CIAO. COUSINS.

MR. BRADLEY'S JUST BEEN TELLING ME

ALL ABOUT HIS WORK.

I'D LIKE TO HAVE HEARD THAT.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

THE SAME AS JOE, ONLY I'M...

OH!

I'M AWFULLY SORRY, IRVING.

WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU...

I'M SORRY.

I CAN TAKE A HINT. I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

YOUR DRINK'S JUST HERE.

TAKE IT EASY.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

SIT DOWN. THAT'S A GOOD FELLOW.

THAT'S THE BOY.

YOU'RE TW...

YOU'RE TWISTING MY ARM, YOU KNOW.

JUST BE A LITTLE MORE CAREFUL NOT TO SPILL.

WHO'S BEEN DOING THE SPILLING?

YOU.

ME?

YEAH.

WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS LOONY?

YOU'RE OK.

HERE'S TO YOU, HUH?

HERE'S HOPING FOR THE BEST.

IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT HAIR,

I'D SWEAR THAT...

AAH!

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

THANKS.

YOU SLIPPED AND ALMOST HURT YOURSELF.

I SLIPPED?

I ALMOST HURT MYSELF?

JOE, I DIDN'T SLIP!

YOU'VE GOT A BAD SPRAIN.

WE'D BETTER GO AND GET IT FIXED UP.

EXCUSE US FOR A MINUTE.

I'M SO SORRY.

JOE, NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

HAVE YOU GOT YOUR LIGHTER?

YEAH. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

LISTEN. WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR FIVE GRAND?

FIVE GRAND?

SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO I AM OR WHAT I DO.

THIS IS MY STORY. I DUG IT UP.

SHE'S REALLY THE...

SHH. YOUR TIN-TYPES WILL MAKE THIS EPIC

TWICE AS VALUABLE.

"THE PRINCESS GOES SLUMMING."

YOU'RE IN FOR 25% OF THE TAKE.

THE TAKE'S 5 Gs. THAT'S $1,5OO.

IT'S 1,25O.

OK. NOW YOU SHAKE.

LEND ME 30,000.

THAT'S 50 BUCKS.

ARE YOU BUYING THE CROWN JEWELS?

SHE'S DRINKING CHAMPAGNE THAT I CAN'T PAY FOR.

WE'VE GOT TO ENTERTAIN HER.

WE CAN'T RUN AROUND TOWN WITH A PRINCESS.

DO YOU WANT IN OR NOT?

THIS I WANT BACK SATURDAY.

OK. NOW WHERE'S YOUR LIGHTER?

LET'S GO TO WORK.

BETTER NOW?

HUH?

YOUR EAR.

MY EAR? OH, YEAH. JOE FIXED IT.

WOULD YOU CARE FOR A CIGARETTE?

YES, PLEASE.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS, BUT IT'S MY VERY FIRST.

YOUR VERY FIRST?

MM-HMM.

NO SMOKING IN SCHOOL, HMM?

YOUR FIRST CIGARETTE.

THERE. THE GISMO WORKS.

WELL, WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

UH, OK?

NOTHING TO IT.

THAT'S RIGHT. NOTHING TO IT.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

I'LL STRETCH MY LEGS A LITTLE HERE.

I'LL PICK THIS ONE UP, IRVING.

YEAH. YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

WELL, WHAT SHALL WE DO NEXT?

SHALL WE MAKE OUT A LITTLE SCHEDULE?

OH, NOT THAT WORD, PLEASE.

OH, I DIDN'T MEAN A WORK... SCHOOL SCHEDULE.

I MEANT A FUN SCHEDULE.

OH, YES. LET'S JUST GO.

HOW ABOUT YOU? ARE YOU READY?

UH, YEAH.

LET'S GO.

CIAO, IRVING.

FRANCESCA!

OH, UM, THIS IS...

SMITTY.

SHE'S A GRAND GIRL, IRVING.

FIVE GRAND, IRVING.

CIAO.

JOE!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING NOW?

I GOT TO WORK. I'LL CALL YOU TONIGHT.

LOOK AT THOSE MEN!

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE INCONSPICUOUS.

YOU ASKED FOR PLAIN CLOTHES.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

AAH!

HEY! SCUSI.

STOP! COME BACK HERE!

AAH HA HA!

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

AAH!

HA HA HA!

NO, NO. I CAN DO IT.

(HORN HONKS)

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

AAH!

(WHISTLES BLOWING)

(SIREN)

(DIALOGUE NOT AUDIBLE)

(LAUGHTER)

OH.

YEAH. OH.

I'M GOING STRAIGHT FROM NOW ON.

AMERICAN NEWS SERVICE?

WHAT DID HE MEAN?

SAY YOU'RE WITH THE PRESS,

YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING.

GOING TO CHURCH TO GET MARRIED

ON A SCOOTER.

JOE'S A WONDERFUL LIAR.

(VOICES)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

CONGRATULATIONS. CONGRATULATIONS.

CIAO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK SO WORRIED.

I WON'T HOLD YOU TO IT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE TOO GRATEFUL.

OK, I WON'T.

I'M A GOOD LIAR, TOO, AREN'T I?

THE BEST I EVER MET.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SAY...

COME WITH ME.

THE MOUTH OF TRUTH.

THE LEGEND IS THAT IF YOU'RE GIVEN TO LYING

AND PUT YOUR HAND IN THERE, IT'LL BE BITTEN OFF.

OOH, WHAT A HORRID IDEA.

LET'S SEE YOU DO IT.

HA HA! LET'S SEE YOU DO IT.

SURE.

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

HELLO.

YOU BEAST!

IT WAS PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT!

I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST A JOKE.

YOU NEVER HURT YOUR HAND.

I'M SORRY. YOU OK?

YES.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.

LOOK OUT!

I'LL PARK AT THE CORNER.

WHAT DO THEY MEAN, ALL THESE INSCRIPTIONS?

WELL, EACH ONE REPRESENTS A WISH FULFILLED.

IT STARTED DURING THE WAR WHEN THERE WAS AN AIR RAID.

A MAN WITH HIS FOUR CHILDREN WAS CAUGHT IN THE STREET.

THEY RAN OVER AGAINST THE WALL

AND PRAYED FOR SAFETY.

BOMBS FELL VERY CLOSE, BUT NO ONE WAS HURT.

THE MAN RETURNED AND PUT UP THE FIRST OF THESE TABLETS.

IT'S BECOME SORT OF A SHRINE.

PEOPLE COME, AND WHENEVER THEIR WISHES ARE GRANTED,

THEY PUT UP ANOTHER PLAQUE.

LOVELY STORY.

READ SOME OF THE INSCRIPTIONS.

Joe: MAKE A WISH?

TELL THE DOCTOR?

ANYWAY, THE CHANCES OF IT BEING GRANTED

ARE VERY SLIGHT.

WELL, WHAT NOW?

I'VE HEARD OF A WONDERFUL PLACE

FOR DANCING ON A BOAT.

THE BARGES DOWN BY SANT'ANGELO?

COULDN'T WE GO THERE TONIGHT?

ANYTHING YOU WISH.

THEN AT MIDNIGHT, I'LL TURN INTO A PUMPKIN

AND DRIVE AWAY IN MY GLASS SLIPPER.

AND THAT'LL BE THE END OF THE FAIRY TALE.

WELL, I GUESS IRVING HAS TO GO NOW.

I DO?

YOU KNOW, YOUR BIG BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT.

OH, THE DEVELOPMENT.

CAN'T AFFORD NOT TO TAKE CARE OF THAT.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, SMITTY.

GOOD LUCK WITH THE BIG DEVELOPMENT.

THANKS.

(HOOFBEATS)

(WHISTLES)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

TWO, PLEASE.

GRAZIE.

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

HELLO.

HELLO.

MR. BRADLEY, IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING SO,

I THINK YOU ARE A RINGER.

A WHAT?

OH, THANKS VERY MUCH.

YOU'VE SPENT THE WHOLE DAY

DOING THINGS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

WHY?

IT SEEMED THE THING TO DO.

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ANYBODY SO KIND.

IT WASN'T ANY TROUBLE.

OR SO COMPLETELY UNSELFISH.

LET'S HAVE A DRINK AT THE BAR.

OH, FINALMENTE!

THERE YOU ARE!

I LOOK FOR YOU A LONG TIME.

I THINK MAYBE YOU NOT COME.

OFF... ALL OFF!

OH, IT'S NICE WITHOUT, ISN'T IT?

COOL.

OH, VERY, VERY GOOD.

THIS IS MR. BRADLEY.

OH, I MARIO DE LANI.

OLD FRIENDS?

OH, YES. HE CUT MY HAIR THIS AFTERNOON.

HE INVITED ME HERE TONIGHT.

WELL, WHAT DID YOU SAY THE NAME WAS?

DE LANI. MARIO DE LANI.

I'M VERY GLAD TO KNOW YOU.

ME, TOO.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

OH, MAY I ENJOY MYSELF...

THE PLEASURE...

DO YOU MIND?

NO, NO. GO RIGHT AHEAD.

THANK YOU.

STAMPA.

DID I MISS ANYTHING?

JUST IN TIME.

WHO'S SMITTY DANCING WITH?

HER BARBER.

CUT HER HAIR THIS AFTERNOON,

MADE A DATE FOR TONIGHT.

THE PRINCESS AND THE BARBER.

(BELL RINGING)

WHAT IS IT?

MOMENTO.

AUGUST.

OH! THANK YOU!

UH, BYE.

YOUR HIGHNESS...

YOU'LL DANCE QUIETLY TOWARDS THE ENTRANCE.

THERE IS A CAR WAITING.

NO.

YOUR HIGHNESS, PLEASE.

YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE. NON PARLO INGLESE.

LET ME GO. WILL YOU LET ME GO?

MR. BRADLEY! LET ME GO!

MR. BRADLEY!

WHOA!

OH!

OH!

OH, YOU...

(YELLING IN ITALIAN)

HIT HIM AGAIN, SMITTY!

(SIREN)

HERE ARE MY CAR KEYS.

THE POLICE.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

BRR!

ALL RIGHT?

FINE. HOW ARE YOU?

OH, FINE.

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

SAY, YOU KNOW, YOU WERE GREAT BACK THERE.

YOU WEREN'T SO BAD YOURSELF.

UH...

I...

I GUESS WE'D BETTER GET IRVING'S CAR

AND GET GOING.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

THIS IS THE AMERICAN HOUR FROM ROME,

CONTINUING OUR PROGRAM OF MUSICAL SELECTIONS.

EVERYTHING RUINED?

NO. THEY'LL BE DRY IN A MINUTE.

SUITS YOU.

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS WEAR MY CLOTHES.

IT SEEMS I DO.

I THOUGHT A LITTLE WINE MIGHT BE GOOD.

SHALL I COOK SOMETHING?

NO KITCHEN. NOTHING TO COOK.

I EAT OUT.

YOU LIKE THAT?

WELL, LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS WHAT ONE LIKES...

IS IT?

NO, IT ISN'T.

TIRED?

A LITTLE.

YOU'VE HAD QUITE A DAY.

A WONDERFUL DAY.

THIS IS THE AMERICAN HOUR FROM ROME,

BROADCASTING A SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN.

TONIGHT, THERE'S NO FURTHER WORD

FROM THE BEDSIDE OF PRINCESS ANN IN ROME,

WHERE SHE WAS TAKEN ILL YESTERDAY.

THIS HAS GIVEN RISE TO RUMORS THAT HER CONDITION IS SERIOUS,

WHICH IS CAUSING ALARM AMONG THE PEOPLE IN HER COUNTRY.

(TURNS OFF RADIO)

THE NEWS CAN WAIT TILL TOMORROW.

YES.

MAY I HAVE A LITTLE MORE WINE?

I'M SORRY I COULDN'T COOK US SOME DINNER.

DID YOU LEARN HOW IN SCHOOL?

I'M A GOOD COOK.

I COULD EARN MY LIVING AT IT.

I CAN SEW, CLEAN, AND IRON.

I LEARNED ALL THOSE THINGS.

I JUST HAVEN'T HAD THE CHANCE TO DO IT FOR ANYONE.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO MOVE.

I'LL GET MYSELF A PLACE WITH A KITCHEN.

YES.

I SHALL HAVE TO GO NOW.

ANYA...

THERE'S... SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO TELL YOU.

NO, PLEASE.

NOTHING.

I MUST GO AND GET DRESSED.

STOP AT THE NEXT CORNER, PLEASE.

OK.

HERE?

YES.

I HAVE TO LEAVE YOU NOW.

I'M GOING TO THAT CORNER THERE AND TURN.

YOU MUST STAY IN THE CAR AND DRIVE AWAY.

PROMISE NOT TO WATCH ME GO BEYOND THE CORNER.

JUST DRIVE AWAY AND LEAVE ME...

AS I LEAVE YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

I CAN'T THINK OF ANY WORDS.

DON'T TRY.

YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS,

24 HOURS... THEY CAN'T ALL BE BLANK.

THEY ARE NOT.

BUT WHAT EXPLANATION AM I TO OFFER THEIR MAJESTIES?

I WAS INDISPOSED. I AM BETTER.

MA'AM, YOU MUST APPRECIATE

THAT I HAVE MY DUTY TO PERFORM,

JUST AS YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS HAS HER DUTY.

YOUR EXCELLENCY,

I TRUST YOU WILL NOT FIND IT NECESSARY

TO USE THAT WORD AGAIN.

WERE I NOT COMPLETELY AWARE

OF MY DUTY TO MY FAMILY AND MY COUNTRY,

I WOULD NOT HAVE COME BACK TONIGHT...

OR, INDEED, EVER AGAIN.

AND NOW, SINCE I UNDERSTAND

WE HAVE A VERY FULL SCHEDULE TODAY,

YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO WITHDRAW.

NO MILK AND CRACKERS.

THAT WILL BE ALL, THANK YOU, COUNTESS.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

(KNOCK KNOCK)

IS IT TRUE? DID YOU REALLY GET IT?

DID I GET WHAT?

THE PRINCESS STORY.

NO, I DIDN'T GET IT.

WHAT? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

JOE, YOU CAN'T HOLD OUT ON ME.

WHO'S HOLDING OUT?

YOU. I KNOW TOO MUCH.

YOU COME INTO MY OFFICE

AND ASK ABOUT AN EXCLUSIVE ON THE PRINCESS.

NEXT, YOU DISAPPEAR.

THEN I HEAR THAT THE PRINCESS ISN'T SICK.

YOU BELIEVE EVERY RUMOR THAT COMES YOUR WAY?

YEAH, AND A LOT OF OTHER RUMORS

ABOUT A SHINDIG ON A BARGE BY THE RIVER

AND THE ARREST OF EIGHT SECRET SERVICE MEN.

THEN COMES THE NEWS OF THE LADY'S MIRACULOUS RECOVERY.

IT ALL ADDS UP.

DON'T THINK YOU'LL RAISE THE PRICE OF THAT STORY.

A DEAL'S A DEAL.

COME ON, COME ON, WHERE IS THAT STORY?

I HAVE NO STORY.

THEN WHAT WAS THE IDEA OF...

JOE!

MAN, WAIT TILL YOU SEE THESE.

HIYA, MR. HENNESSY. YOU GOT HERE ON TIME.

WAIT TILL YOU GET A LOOK...

WHAT'S THE IDEA?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHARGING IN HERE AND SPILLING THINGS?

I SPOKE TO YOU ABOUT THAT ONCE BEFORE, REMEMBER?

JOE, LOOK AT MY PANTS.

COME DRY THEM OFF.

NUTS TO THAT.

DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT SMITTY?

SMITTY?

IRVING.

WAIT TILL...

THERE YOU GO AGAIN, IRVING.

JOE.

ALL RIGHT, SAVE THAT TILL LATER.

WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME AND SHAVE?

SHAVE?

OR KEEP QUIET

TILL MR. HENNESSY AND I FINISH TALKING.

HEY, WHAT KIND OF A ROUTINE IS THAT?

WHO'S SMITTY?

A GUY THAT WE MET.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE?

IRVING'S DAMES. YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THEM.

UH, MAYBE YOU WOULD.

WHEN YOU CAME INTO MY OFFICE...

I THOUGHT I HAD A LEAD. I WAS WRONG.

THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT. THERE IS NO STORY.

SHE'S HOLDING THE PRESS INTERVIEW TODAY.

SAME TIME, SAME PLACE.

MAYBE THAT'S ONE STORY YOU CAN GET.

AND YOU OWE ME 5OO BUCKS!

TAKE IT OUT OF MY SALARY... 5O BUCKS A WEEK.

DON'T THINK I WON'T.

(DOOR CLOSES)

HEY, WHAT GIVES?

HAVE WE HAD A BETTER OFFER?

IRVING, I DON'T KNOW JUST HOW TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT...

WAIT TILL I SIT DOWN.

WELL, IN REGARD TO THE STORY THAT GOES WITH THESE...

THERE IS NO STORY.

WHY NOT?

I MEAN, NOT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

UH... HEY, THE PICTURES CAME OUT PRETTY WELL.

YOU... WANT TO HAVE A LOOK AT THEM?

HUH?

HOW ABOUT A BLOWUP

FROM A NEGATIVE THAT SIZE, HUH?

OH, THAT'S HER FIRST CIGARETTE, HUH?

OH, YEAH.

HEY, THE MOUTH OF TRUTH.

HA HA HA!

HERE'S THE CAPTION I THOUGHT OF...

"BARBER CUTS IN." HUH?

I FIGURED THIS WOULD BE THE KEY SHOT FOR THE LAYOUT...

"THE WALL WHERE WISHES COME TRUE."

JOE, THAT'S GOOD.

LEAD OFF WITH THAT, THEN FOLLOW UP WITH THE WISHES.

I DUG THAT UP OUT OF THE FILE.

"PRINCESS INSPECTS POLICE."

YEAH.

"POLICE INSPECTS PRINCESS."

OH!

HOW ABOUT... OH!

I GOT A TOPPER FOR YOU.

WOW!

IS THAT A SHOT, JOE?

WHAT A PICTURE!

"BODYGUARD GETS BODY BLOW."

HOW ABOUT THIS...

"CROWNED HEAD." HUH?

OH, I GET IT!

THAT'S... JOE, YOU GOT...

SHE'S FAIR GAME, JOE.

IT'S ALWAYS OPEN SEASON ON PRINCESSES.

YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT...

I CAN'T PREVENT YOU FROM SELLING THE PICTURES,

IF YOU WANT TO.

YOU'LL GET A GOOD PRICE.

YEAH!

YOU GOING TO THE INTERVIEW?

ARE YOU GOING?

YEAH. IT'S AN ASSIGNMENT, ISN'T IT?

YEAH.

I'LL SEE YOU.

IT AIN'T MUCH, BUT IT'S HOME.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE APPROACH.

LA SUA ALTEZZA REALE...

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS.

YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS,

THE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE PRESS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS WILL NOW ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS.

I BELIEVE AT THE OUTSET, YOUR HIGHNESS,

THAT I SHOULD EXPRESS THE PLEASURE OF ALL OF US

AT YOUR RECOVERY FROM THE RECENT ILLNESS.

THANK YOU.

DOES YOUR HIGHNESS BELIEVE THAT FEDERATION

WOULD BE A POSSIBLE SOLUTION

TO EUROPE'S ECONOMIC PROBLEMS?

I AM IN FAVOR OF ANY MEASURE

WHICH WOULD LEAD TO CLOSER COOPERATION IN EUROPE.

AND WHAT, IN THE OPINION OF YOUR HIGHNESS,

IS THE OUTLOOK FOR FRIENDSHIP AMONG NATIONS?

I HAVE EVERY FAITH IN IT,

AS I HAVE FAITH IN RELATIONS BETWEEN PEOPLE.

MAY I SAY, SPEAKING FOR MY OWN PRESS SERVICE,

WE BELIEVE THAT YOUR HIGHNESS' FAITH

WILL NOT BE UNJUSTIFIED.

I AM SO GLAD TO HEAR YOU SAY IT.

WHICH OF THE CITIES VISITED

DID YOUR HIGHNESS ENJOY THE MOST?

EACH IN ITS OWN WAY...

EACH IN ITS OWN WAY WAS... UNFORGETTABLE.

IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO...

ROME.

BY ALL MEANS... ROME.

(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)

I WILL CHERISH MY VISIT HERE

IN MEMORY AS LONG AS I LIVE.

DESPITE YOUR INDISPOSITION, YOUR HIGHNESS?

DESPITE THAT.

PHOTOGRAPHS MAY NOW BE TAKEN.

THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I WOULD NOW LIKE TO MEET

SOME OF THE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

OF THE PRESS.

HITCHCOCK, CHICAGO DAILY NEWS.

I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU HERE.

SCANZIANI, LA SUISSE.

KLINGER, DEUTSCH PRESS AGENTUR.

FROELICH SEHR.

MAURICE MONTABRE, LE FIGARO.

SYTSKE GALEMA, DE LINIE, AMSTERDAM.

(SPEAKING DUTCH)

JACQUES FERRIER, ICI PARIS.

ENCHANTE.

GROSS, DAVAR, TEL AVIV.

CORTES CAVANILLAS. ABC MADRID.

ENCANTADA.

LAMPE. NEW YORK HERALD TRIBUNE.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

IRVING RADOVICH. CR PHOTO SERVICE.

HOW DO YOU DO?

MAY I PRESENT YOUR HIGHNESS

WITH SOME COMMEMORATIVE PHOTOS

OF YOUR VISIT TO ROME?

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.

JOE BRADLEY. AMERICAN NEWS SERVICE.

SO HAPPY, MR. BRADLEY.

MORIONES. LA VANGUARDIA, BARCELONA.

STEPHEN HOUSE OF THE LONDON EXCHANGE TELEGRAPH.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

DE ALDISIO. AGENCE PRESS.

(APPLAUSE)

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