Original subtitles

THE MODEL COUPLE

Hey, Model Couple!

This wasteland you see

RESEARCH LAB NEW CITY A2

Will be

The setting for a cautionary tale

Educational for all

About the Model Couple and their fall

MINISTRY OF THE FUTURE

It's cold. Need a hand?

No, it's fine.

Where is it?

- Over there. - Great.

Good-bye and good luck!

Thanks. Bye.

MODEL COUPLE - CONTROL ROOM - LAB

That way?

Excuse me.

- Yes? - We're the couple.

The couple! Did you get a schedule?

No, nothing.

I'll go find out.

Our Model Couple! Hello, Claudine and Jean-Michel!

Take their bags.

We've been expecting you.

Nice trip? Not too tired?

Right this way.

Changing rooms. Undress completely.

Toilets, showers -

then come to the control room.

- Is this the latest data? - Yes, ma,am.

Enter the couple's data for Program 97.

Camera loaded?

Ready?

All systems go, darling.

This way, please.

At last! You must be Claudine.

- They didn't get a schedule. - Don't start that now.

This way, please. Is this your file?

File, please. Good.

You haven't eaten, I hope.

- Nice trip? - Us?

We got lost at first, but after that it was easy.

Here's the paperwork.

Claudine, Jean-Michel, against the wall, please.

Very good. Now undress.

That's right - undress.

Lab coats off, shoulders against the wall.

Jean-Michel, tell us how you met.

Me or...

Sure, Claudine.

At some friends, dinner party. I hadn't really noticed him.

But at a certain point our eyes met,

,cause we were both bored.

- You were bored? - Yes.

THEY WERE BORED.

He smiled and then -

It wasn't love at first sight, but...

I was surprised when he called me afterwards.

"We got to know each other", like in the song.

What song?

By Hugues Aufray.

Could you sing it for us?

No, not like this.

REFUSES TO SING

- How about you? - I don't know it.

Could you describe your relationship?

Well, we're very close.

THEY,RE CLOSE.

We're different, but complementary.

Describe Claudine.

She's sweet.

She's strong-willed, knows her own mind,

meticulous.

- How do you show that? - For example -

Hands up.

At first, Jean-Michel expected me to serve him.

It was always me who brought up breakfast.

He'd never think to bring me breakfast.

- You lived in a house? - A house?

You said "brought up breakfast."

It's just an expression. We live in an apartment.

- I see. - Very good.

What about politics? What role does it play in your life?

Politics? We're neither left- nor right-wing.

NEITHER LEFT- NOR RIGHT-WING

We're not activists, but we keep up with the news.

Jean-Michel and Claudine, you know why you're here.

We're designing an Experimental Urban Center,

and we want its inhabitants to feel comfortable.

You've been chosen as typical users of the year 2000.

We want to learn about your desires, your fears.

We want to measure your basic level of social integration.

I know you'll do your best to help.

You'll also be helping your fellow citizens - and France!

FRANCE!!!

- What's keeping him? - Here he is.

Sorry. I went to get a map.

Here it is.

We're off. I'll lead the way.

Come in.

"Model apartment."

Living room, kitchen.

Excuse me.

This way. - It's big!

Come on in.

This is the living room.

As you can see, it's not quite finished,

but you'll have furniture tomorrow.

What are those numbers?

Those are... reference points.

l'll just go get the -

Here we are.

With some furniture -

"Wall."

That clears things up!

Yuck! I feel like I'm in diapers.

Hold on. Let me show you.

Here I come. It's very chic.

I rang the doorbell. Didn't you hear?

I brought your dinner.

Can I help?

No need. Sit down.

The gas will be hooked up tomorrow,

so you'll be able to cook for yourselves.

Water. Wine.

It's not working. Excuse me.

There. You're on TV.

- What will we do tomorrow? - You'll see.

Here's a mattress. The bedroom will be ready tomorrow.

This afternoon the Model Couple moved into their happy new home.

We'll follow this fascinating experiment closely over the next six months.

Tonight all of France wonders,

"Who are you, Claudine and Jean-Michel?"

We'll try to answer with a few images.

Claudine is 25,

a keypunch operator at a mail-order company. She's Parisian.

Jean-Michel is 29,

from Thonon-les-Bains.

In middle management at a large marketing firm,

he earns 3,220 francs a month.

He's dynamic, athletic, conscientious, and likable.

Married two years, they plan to have their first child in the Model Apartment,

and they've received special leaves of absence for the duration.

We'll let our couple settle in.

We'll check in again tomorrow, and throughout the experiment.

Good night, Claudine and Jean-Michel, and good luck!

And now, the situation in Portugal -

Nice, huh?

What's wrong? - I'm afraid.

Why? What is it?

I don't know.

Sweetie pie, what's wrong?

Are you okay?

This is science. It's not -

I don't know.

That woman -

Have you seen my pills?

Aren't they on the table?

You know, I really feel awful.

What are they doing?

Claudine's feeling down. She's crying. Jean-Michel is comforting her.

They're such a pain!

"I'm always the one who brings up breakfast."

Time for our little show.

It's ready, ma,am.

3, 2, 1 .

Be happy.

Love one another. We're creating this city for you.

To make you happy.

Be happy, but not too happy.

Too happy and you'd have nothing to wish for.

- What's this crap? - You think they're listening?

Not just listening. Look.

- Cameras? - Of course.

Love one another!

We're thinking of you.

Love one another!

You heard ,em. Come on!

Come on. - Not here.

This is our home.

Not in front of them. I'm not kidding.

- It's our home. - They're watching.

It's for science.

- Really? - Of course.

It's still broken.

- What is it? - White bean stew.

Is there any yogurt?

Certainly, darling.

Wolfgang, could you fix that?

I rang the doorbell.

Didn't you hear? - Yes.

Breakfast is served.

We're coming.

Eat breakfast the way you usually do.

On my mark:

1 , 2, 3, go!

What will you have?

Can I have coffee?

Coffee or tea?

We usually have coffee.

THEY USUALLY HAVE COFFEE.

Certainly. We serve Jacques Vabre coffee.

Can I have some milk?

Me too.

CLAUDINE TOO.

- What else? - I see some croissants.

Yes, brioches, croissants, whole wheat,

rye, white, pumpernickel.

I'll have a croissant.

I'd like toast.

CROISSANTS AND TOAST

Butter and jelly?

Butter and jelly.

Raspberry or orange?

Orange. No, raspberry.

RASPBERRY

Me too.

It's stuck.

e

Yogurt.

With fruit, caramel or custard?

- No, later. - Chocolate pudding?

Fruit? Banana, orange, apple, pear?

Don't drink while you're chewing.

Toast?

No! I haven't finished my croissant.

- Don't get annoyed. - Be nice.

HE'S ANNO YED!!!

Don't treat me like I'm handicapped!

Relax. You have plenty of time.

Take your time to eat and drink.

- I was really hungry. - Hurry up.

I'd like some sugar.

What's going on?

What is it? - It's good.

SAYS IT'S GOOD.

- All done? - I'm not!

We're too rushed!

Had enough to eat? All done?

Ready... and stop.

Now go get washed up.

Look at all this!

Nicely done. - Where's the faucet?

Brut for Men. That's for me.

For my hair.

Nice color scheme.

Here's another cabinet. No, it's a bidet!

How practical!

It really is. I'll just sit down.

- Not too sturdy. - Sure it is.

This is great! Did you see the tub?

Look!

Straight out of Hollywood.

It's comfortable, with handles and everything.

Claudine, Jean-Michel, please get cleaned up

and meet us in the living room.

What kind of decor do you prefer?

I like antiques.

I like natural, ecological materials.

All we've got is modern.

Here's one possible layout for the living room.

Do we have to follow it?

No, do what you like.

- Can we keep it? It'll give us ideas. - Sure.

Ladies and gents, our table

Now take a peek

And the chairs of plastic

Green is so chic

Isn't our hi-fi cool?

And the TV? Where does it go?

What could that be?

A table lamp

Where should it go?

Right here or over there

Over here is even better

Looks cool

Check it out... wow!

We've found our style

Easy as pie

What could this be?

Shelves, just what we need

We've gotta work Gotta try our best

To fix up our love nest

We're not done yet

Here's the TVset

It's all first-class

Everything's mirrors and tinted glass

Decorated like Hollywood

Super ideas Such taste and style... wow!

Plants of real plastic

Fake leather couch

This is fan-tas-tic

A ball that's magic

Pass it to me Now you, now me

Time for knick-knacks

Let's hurry up

At last we're done

We just gotta

Straighten up and we've won

The guy's back Will he approve?

We did our best It was tough... wow!

Now we'll show Claudine her kitchen...

and Jean-Michel, his workplace. - Great.

This is your double pyrolytic oven

with three-ply panoramic doors,

illuminated indicators,

temperature control and electronic timer.

Here's your roll-out cupboard.

Would you cook with this? No!

We've installed a stovetop

with double high-speed electric burners.

You can boil an egg in under 20 seconds!

You must have been born under a lucky star

to get this marvelous electric grill.

You'll be grilling like a professional chef!

Cleaning windows is such a chore!

The outside is difficult and dangerous to reach.

Our two-piece set lets you clean inside and outside --

What about the dishes?

Dishcloths won't do.

Here's your ultra-modern dishwasher with six automatic cycles.

How much time will you save?

319 hours a year!

You choose: dishwasher or dishcloth?

May I present the combination fridge-freezer,

two appliances in one.

The fridge for everyday use, and the freezer for -

Don't forget the finishing touch!

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach,

and some have big hearts!

Introducing Chatouillard potatoes.

Chatouillard is the inventor's name,

a 19th-century rotisserie owner.

Watch carefully. It's specially designed for the ladies,

because we all know

you're not good with complicated gadgets.

I'm not saying you're dumb - perish the thought -

especially during "The Year of the Woman." Besides, it's not your fault.

Withdraw the spindle, break one end, and imagine!

Lamb, chicken, roast beef, or rabbit with perfect potato spirals!

You'll make a splash!

Everyone knows a well-fed husband never cheats on his wife

at dinnertime!

What smells so good?

Ravioli!

I love ravioli!

He loves them!

All right.

- Another one? - That's enough.

- Should I start? - Go.

Tell me what you feel without using words.

Express yourselves with sounds.

Sounds?

Don't think, just do it. Express yourself with sounds.

Claudine, wait your turn. Jean-Michel is first.

Me...

Okay, calm down

and speak using numbers.

Numbers!

This isn't a game.

3 - 3 - 3 - 33 - 33 - 22 - 40 !

Thank you.

TODAY WENT WELL. IN FACT, REALLY WELL.

Things went well today, huh?

Yes, I think so.

Especially at the end. They seemed really pleased.

Yeah, I think they're pleased.

But she hates me. I'm sure of it.

Her?

I can see it in her eyes. She can't stand me.

No, you've got her all wrong.

She only seems cold and serious

because she's a scientist. She's not really mean.

You don't think so?

What did you do today?

Today? Let me see.

I tested steering wheels and pens.

How was it?

Okay.

Steering wheels?

How was your day?

I made -

I was in the kitchen.

Did you see the results?

There weren't any. It was just

these guys who were there with different stuff.

Careful. Not under there.

Why not?

I think tonight we'd better not.

Why not?

I'm sure we're covered with wires for a reason.

Claudine, you get 400 francs for this week's groceries.

Buy only what's necessary.

You have 30 minutes. Go.

You chose Ariel.

What about two boxes of Dash instead?

Okay.

- Or three boxes of Omo? - Okay.

How about four boxes of Dato instead?

Sure!

And finally, three boxes of X-Tra instead?

Three boxes of X-Tra?

- Is this a giveaway? - Can we have some?

Pineapples fresh from the Ivory Coast, cookies of the highest quality.

On special today.. Frankfurt wieners and Spanish beans!

Our bananas are never stringy or mushy.

A lady should always be well-groomed.

Is the Pernod salesman still in the store?

Don't break anything.

422.80 francs.

- Did she go over? - 422.80 francs.

422.80 francs.

- Well, Claudine? - This could go back.

And this.

Are you keeping this?

All right.

Now explain your purchases for me.

This is the best one.

Go?

All done.

What?

Nothing.

Good.

I'll try the second one now.

The first one's better.

Have you seen my -

What the hell did you do with my paper?

Zola.

Balzac.

No, we said we'd put Zola here.

You said Zola goes there.

You never listen! Zola goes here.

You want Zola? Here!

Are you nuts?

That's right!

THE GREAT PAINTERS

Sweetie, where do the great painters go?

Maybe up there?

I don't know.

Put them over there.

Not like that! Not there!

Jean-Michel, feel your way to Claudine.

When you find her, explore her body with your hands.

Describe what you feel. Be honest.

I got the feeling she was hiding.

It's her all right.

Good.

Jean-Michel, take one step forward

and fall backward into Claudine's arms.

Go.

Very good.

Take off his blindfold.

How do you feel?

It's weird. I was a little afraid.

Good. By the way, have you seen my pen?

I left it here.

Really?

Sometimes we pick up things without thinking.

But we didn't!

May I?

Are you kidding?

Please.

We don't have your pen.

That's enough! We don't have it!

Sixteen seconds. Normal.

Sixteen seconds? Normal?

You tolerated aggressivity towards yourself, but not Claudine.

A common protective reflex, but within a short time frame.

Stop measuring everything!

Leave us alone, damn it!

- "Damn it"? - Yes, damn it!

Twenty-four seconds. Very good.

Thank you. See you tomorrow.

- I can't stand this. - Sure you can. It's not so bad.

Besides, it's for science, right?

My model sweetie pie!

Model sweetie pie...

- Visitors. - I know.

Would you give this lady your autograph?

If you would.

Thanks very much.

- Did they give you all this stuff? - No, but we'll get a discount.

It should be free.

It's all name-brand stuff.

You were great on TV.

Is Jean-Michel here?

He's around somewhere.

Bravo, Claudine.

Kids, stop it!

Unbelievable!

- You use all this stuff? - Sure.

With the dining nook over there, they'd have more room.

- I like it this way. - And the beam is charming.

I'd put up a wall.

Go back to your spot.

He was transferred.

I don't understand why Cruyft plays for Madrid now.

It's not "Cruyft", it's Johan Cruijff.

And it's not Madrid, it's Barcelona.

No, not my stereo!

Be careful! It's very fragile.

Give me that.

Kids, that's not a toy!

Back to your places now.

Guess how much the Camembert was.

- I don't know. Five francs? - 4.35.

Where'd you get it?

I got that...

Have you seen my tape, Wolfgang?

Where the hell did I put that damn tape?

And he plays Mr. Nice Guy!

He only wants to be the object of positive transference and affection,

and I get all the negativity!

Give me a break!

Know what your problem is?

At first you wanted to be the all-powerful phallic mother

manipulating love and hate,

but you never responded to their demands for love and bonding

because you couldn't stand being part of the very tests you reject.

Your subconscious spilled over into your work.

You swayed the experiment in the Couple's favor by being aggressive,

because deep down you no longer want to be a "tool",

a mere "technician"!

You always oversimplify, sweetie.

It's much more complicated.

What if I was doing it on purpose from the start?

Right!

What did I do with that tape? Did I erase it?

Claudine, Jean-Michel, good morning!

I'll be showing you some images, and I'd like to know whether,

if the thing or person shown disappeared,

you'd be happier, less happy, or indifferent.

Happier, less happy, or indifferent. Okay.

If what?

If the person disappeared, would you be happier or less happy?

Ready? Here we go.

Happier.

Happier.

Less happy.

- Indifferent. - I like it.

- Happier. - Happier.

How awful!

- Happier. - Happier.

- Indifferent. - Less happy.

Oh, definitely happier!

Very good.

Now, if I asked you point-blank, "Are you happy?"

what would you say? Very happy? Mostly happy?

Happy? Mostly unhappy? Very unhappy? No opinion?

- We're mostly happy. - Mostly happy?

I'd say so.

I should check "mostly happy"?

I think so.

Well, maybe that's too strong.

Maybe just "happy."

I should put "happy"?

Yes, check "happy."

- I'll put "happy." - It's not like we're unhappy!

You're not unhappy?

We just told you we're not!

Not unhappy at all?

I mean, it's not always easy, but -

So you're not unhappy.

Sometimes.

What do I check?

I don't know.

Put "slightly unhappy" if you want.

I don't want anything.

It's up to you. What do you want?

She doesn't know and neither do I! Don't check anything!

Fine. Then we're done.

Good, we're done. Let's have a drink.

How about having a drink with us?

Lights!

Are you allowed during work hours?

It's not that. We're way behind schedule.

Whatever you like. Our door is always open.

Thanks. Another time.

Listen, we were wondering:

How did you end up working here?

- You think it's weird? - I'm not criticizing. It's just...

you dissect people, examine them, manipulate them.

We don't manipulate anyone.

Really?

You know, Jean-Michel,

we question these things too.

Constantly.

With a degree in psychosociology, what are our options?

One is the System, with a capital S:

marketing or advertising and a fat paycheck,

and lots of what you call manipulation.

Another is the system with a lowercase S:

research, academia,

and places like this, the Ministry of the Future.

What should we do? - Okay, I get it.

Raise sheep in the boonies,

or join the system to throw a monkey wrench in it?

What we're really interested in, what I care about,

is how perverse the social sciences can be.

For example, we both used to work in an asylum.

We changed quite a few things,

even on an everyday level.

We don't want to make problems. Check "happy."

I'll check whatever you like.

I just don't understand why you refused to cooperate.

We didn't. It just felt like you expected a certain answer.

That's right!

What answer?

I don't know.

Why isn't there a box for "fairly happy"?

We have "mostly happy", don't we?

It's not the same!

We can't have dozens of options.

If we say "fairly happy", which box do you check?

This is all quibbling over words.

It's just a check box, not The Brothers Karamazov!

That option isn't offered.

It's a pity, but that's how it is.

You make me laugh!

We make him laugh.

Well, you two are starting to worry us.

- What do you mean? - What do I mean?

You were chosen because you were 76-/- average,

and after just a few days, you're barely 44-/- average.

I was about to tell you:

If you don't stay above 50-/-, you won't be here long.

We're not above 50-/-?

We're not making this up.

Think of your country, of yourselves,

of everything we've done. It'd be a terrible waste.

They'll make us pay for everything, just you wait!

- Is that supposed to be irony? - Why, is it forbidden?

Listen, Jean-Michel.

Do you think you're doing this all by yourself?

Have you any idea what we must deal with?

Sometimes I wonder why we bother.

I thought scientists were much more patient.

At work we deal with relationships and statistics -

Check 7 under "aggressiveness."

You'd put 7?

"Check 7." There you go again!

You want aggressiveness?

Let me handle this.

- Maybe 8. - Right, check 8.

Your colleague said 8. Check that.

Note, "The Couple find the technicians very amusing."

Personally, I'm very tired,

and right now I really don't find this amusing.

Then just check "no opinion."

I'm not checking anything. You can, if you like,

but I won't check just any box. This isn't tic-tac-toe!

We're getting off the point.

We're lucky this is on camera, or no one would believe it.

Calm down!

Just checking.

Let's put 8.

I give up! This is a loony bin!

At the risk of being rude,

Jean-Michel, last night you suffered once again from premature ejaculation.

Perhaps. It happens sometimes.

But I think you're being judgmental

or trying to annoy me, and that's out of line.

Listen, we practically live together,

yet we hardly know each other.

For example, what's your relationship?

I'm not sure how to take that.

You know everything about us, but we -

Listen, Jean-Michel.

Let's say you're at the post office.

You wait in line. You buy stamps.

Do you ask the employee's name or who they voted for?

I'm just saying it might be nice.

Well, what do we put down?

I get it - another test. You're trying to get us to crack.

- Is this on purpose? - Where were we?

Please answer me: Are you jerking us around?

Jean-Michel, I swear

by all our colleagues and all our tests

that we'd never do that.

By no means.

For the last time, look deep inside yourselves

and tell us what to put down.

Just check "happy."

There! Isn't that better?

We deserve awards for that performance!

What?

Your explanations sure were lame.

Well, they worked!

"Please answer me: Are you jerking us around?"

"Never!"

Commence Phase 4: denormalization and de-modelization of Couple B-1 4.

What do they think we're doing? - Jerking them around.

They didn't mind at first. But now?

We'll see.

I didn't enlist in the army! Drop this French bullshit.

I don't believe this.

Did you see her face when I said,

"Put down that the Couple finds the technicians amusing.",

"I don't find you amusing."

This Camembert isn't bad.

- What? - This Camembert isn't bad.

You're out of synch!

Out of what?

- Your words don't match your lips. - Neither do yours.

What's going on?

- Again. - What's going on?

It's back to normal.

What's going on? Okay.

Geez, that scared me!

CLAUDINE ISN,T HAPPY

NOT VERY HAPPY

NOT HAPPY AT ALL

J-MICHEL DOESN,T UNDERSTAND

Today we'll study how you quarrel.

Get everything off your chests.

- You want us to fight? - Yes. Go on.

Just like that?

Well, um...

you're dumb.

No, you are.

Is that all you can think of?

No, I could say... I've had enough.

You go out. You see people and have fun,

while I'm stuck here alone.

Then you come home and get waited on.

Are you kidding now?

Sure, I laugh all day long.

And you cry too, right?

What would you know?

I could tell you a thing or two myself.

Who supports us?

What about after this experiment? Who will work? Me.

You think I don't support us?

You don't know what it's like being stuck here,

spied on by those voyeurs in black coats!

I can't even fart without being graded! Think that's fun?

You gotta be kidding. What do you think I do?

I work all afternoon.

You sit on your fat ass and push buttons. That's all you're good for.

Here come the insults! "Fat ass" and all that.

Listen, I've got things to say, and I mean it.

I've about had it with this experiment!

I'm fed up living with you. - Why'd you come then?

I never forced you!

You did! I was supposed to go to Canada.

Who wanted to do this? Who stopped me from going to Canada?

Who stopped me from acting? Admit it, it was you.

Now you say you didn't want to come here?

- I did it for you. - You're such a liar!

You were glad to come! What's more,

we're gonna get tossed out, and it's all your fault.

Seriously, if you could hear your bullshit yesterday -

I don't want to be rude, but -

Why did you have to ask, "What's your relationship?"

And that stupid laugh!

Did you see them?

The argument we're watching -

you claim it was spontaneous,

but we all know it was scripted

and developed

by the Ministry of Psychoanalysis. Let's talk about that!

It gives me great pleasure

to see the experiment fail. What is this couple doing?

They're escaping structure through conflict!

Conflict is part of human nature

and must be dealt with, not covered up.

They're warning us, ''Watch out.

Any portrayal of conflict-free happiness leads to alienation.

Real life is about dealing with conflict and resolving it. "

If I may interrupt -

The way you yelled at me after dinner -

Don't play innocent. That's why I threw the Zolas.

You're pissing me off.

You piss me off too!

But I'm never allowed to say anything!

If this is truly a Model Couple,

this experiment will reveal their needs

and allow the government to plan manufacturing

to fulfill those needs,

thus wiping out inequality.

You say "average", but average what?

We can calculate the average number of feet among birds and cats,

but they're two entirely different populations

with entirely different structures! It's crazy!

I have to say that it frightens me.

I'm not denying that the Model Couple represents something.

But I'd like to point out

that the trademark of all totalitarian societies

is to propagate an image of an ideal couple

or family.

After all, it's the first time we've had a chance

to examine an average couple from the inside,

which makes this experiment unique and absolutely marvelous.

But what we discover

may offend our beliefs,

our convictions, our unconscious.

I don't deny that I'm aggressive towards this type of person!

Please, calm down.

But this is still an advanced, liberal society, as far as I know.

The police aren't standing behind me, so I can say -

Let him talk, Bonaloi.

You see?

Stop it!

Watch out, or I'll hit you!

Don't try that again! You're all brawn, no brain!

Stop it! Bastard!

Okay, okay.

I lost my temper.

Thanks. I noticed.

I'm sorry.

Oh, don't start whining!

I was mad. I didn't mean it. Did I hurt you?

Come on.

I'd like to thank our guests.

Good night, viewers. Until next time.

Paris, whore of the world

It's been confirmed

that General Pinochet remains in critical condition.

His family is with him,

and we hope to have better news soon.

Our Model Couple

has now been "in orbit" and under constant surveillance for three weeks.

No ill effects to report. Quite the opposite.

However, the City of the Future

has hit some snags.

The project has stirred up local opposition:

demonstrations by workers, farmers,

small business owners,

to say nothing of ecologists,

and the movement keeps growing.

The Ministry of the Future intends to delve into the problem

by visiting the region in coming days

to better understand the situation.

Isn't there...

any toast or anything?

Want me to make some?

Shall I make some toast?

No, don't bother.

Are you nuts? What's going on up there?

You're not hurt, I hope.

What the heck -

What's going on?

It was a farmers,protest. They're gone now.

Who'll clean this up?

I'm all alone here today!

Can I come out?

Can you believe it?

They're nuts!

It's dramatic

What's going on? The minister's coming, and nothing's ready.

No one told us about it.

What do you mean?

You got a memo announcing his visit a month ago.

There it is, on the wall. - Right.

The same one that says that in six months

we'd get a raise and be promoted to level B-4

and never work over 40 hours a week.

Where's that replacement crew you promised?

We're here 24 hours a day.

Listen.

We'll discuss your demands later.

All I can say is the minister arrives in five minutes.

Union or no union, if you're not ready, you'll pay!

- We'll see about that. - Yes, we will!

We're not afraid of the minister. I've got a few things to tell him.

If you bother the minister with your problems -

This is the control room.

Hello, Schneider. Did you drop something?

This is Dr. Goldberg, eminent psycho-futurologist,

and his assistant, Mr. -

Very interesting. What happens here?

That's what we're here to show you. Follow me.

This is our team.

It's an honor. My colleague and I were just saying -

In all modesty, Minister,

we are here to serve mankind.

Wasn't it Le Corbusier who said,

"Nothing is so like a man as another man"?

I believe so.

This is where we observe our Model Couple.

If you please.

A typical day

for our couple..

They usually get up at 7..20

and go to bed at 22..45.

Seventeen minutes for reading,

1 hour 47 minutes for TV.

Jean-Michel works 9 hours 1 2 minutes.

Claudine does housework for 3 hours 1 7 minutes a day.

They have intercourse 3.6 times a week.

Claudine attains orgasm

one out of 3. 7 times.

Jean-Michel suffers from premature ejaculation 13-/- of the time.

Very good!

But we've gathered other vital data as well.

For example, the minimum threshold of happiness,

"The Psycho-Social Happiness Modular" as we call it here,

is lower than first believed.

Ceilings could be eight inches lower without noticeable difference.

On a 15-story building, that's two extra floors at no added cost.

We're against high-rises. You know that.

I didn't return to France to feel like I'm in Chicago!

It's just one example.

Of course, there are high-rises, and then there are high-rises.

We must think the unthinkable.

The French don't trust technology, and maybe they're right.

But us? Watch out!

Yes?

The minister is coming. We need to search the area.

- Security. - Come in.

- I'll go left, you go right. - Yes, boss.

You idiot!

Oh, it was you!

It's nothing, buddy.

- What's going on? - Go see.

The door, for God's sake!

Can't take any risks, you know.

They've made a real mess!

And the minister's coming!

Hurry up, sweetie!

What should I do, honey?

The experiment has already led to a few discoveries.

Like what?

For example, people will happily accept

apartments with windows on only one wall,

and windowless kitchens and bathrooms.

And everybody eats everything on one plate these days,

so 16-inch kitchen sinks are more than sufficient.

Good. Send me your report.

Thank you.

It's important to question conventional wisdom,

but rigid systemization must be avoided.

Our housing policy must look beyond

mere financial viability.

This is a public service.

Of course, but -

My dear fellow,

we must reconcile Man and the City.

For the New Man, we must create a city to match his stature!

- After you, Mr. Minister. - Go on, Goldberg.

Mr. Minister!

You shouldn't have!

Perhaps we could -

Please, come in.

Go ahead.

The minister is about to enter the Model Apartment!

I see a bouquet behind the minister.

He's giving it to Claudine. Everything's going great!

I think Jean-Michel is a bit intimidated.

No, now he's suggesting

they go in the living room.

Would you like a cocktail?

Very kind, but if you don't mind, ma,am,

why don't we get down to business?

Of course. Excuse me.

Let's see now. The minister will sit to my right.

And Mr...

Mr. Goldberg on my left.

- May I go? - Certainly.

I think we can be seated.

Excuse me.

Don't get up. I'll get the food.

She's very impressed.

But why? There's no reason.

Video techs, could you - There!

Claudine is in her Model Kitchen.

There's a problem with the video link.

I think Claudine turned off her mike by mistake.

There, the link is back. Such a beautiful effect!

Then I always add a touch of milk.

There! For a well-blended mixture,

I use this little device.

And with that we'll take our leave of Claudine.

Join us in 30 minutes for their dinner with the minister!

- It looks delicious. - May I serve you?

With pleasure. What is it?

Crayfish bisque, but it's not -

I'm sure it is! Thank you.

- Mr. Colbere? - Goldberg. Is it from a can?

You know, they only told us at the last minute...

My stomach's upset. I'll have just a bit.

You're not bored here?

We don't have time to be with all our work.

Besides, all the tests are very interesting.

Yes, it's all scientific. Fascinating!

You're doing us a great service, and we're very grateful.

Where do you spend your vacation?

This year?

No, in general. Do you like to travel?

We adore it. I suppose you're always -

Yes, I travel all the time.

You too?

Last year we went to Sicily,

the Cefalu Club Med. Ever been there?

- I've never been to Sicily. - I have.

It wasn't bad.

The G.O.s can get on your nerves.

But the day trips were great.

Really great, Etna and all that.

At the Club they had a song...

just a silly old tune, but hold on.

There are G. O.s all over Cefalu-oo-oo

In all the world never a sea so blue-oo-oo

- Nice! - Yeah, but after a while -

I can imagine, Claudine. May I call you Claudine?

Of course.

Tell me, when you were chosen as the Model Couple,

how did you feel?

Happy. Right, Jean-Michel?

- About what? - About being chosen.

I guess.

At first he didn't want to.

She filled out all the forms. I knew nothing about it.

So you were sure you'd be chosen?

Not really, but I like contests.

And sure, I thought, "Why not us?"

Of course.

- Would you like more? - No, thanks. It was excellent.

Then I'll clear these away.

His mother was against it too.

- His mother? - Yes.

- Why? - Oh, you know,

she and Claudine don't really -

The guests have finished the first course,

and Claudine is back in the kitchen. We'll try to get the video feed.

Pheasant with peaches!

Excuse me. I'll just put this here.

Jean-Michel, you carve. Take away the feathers.

Would you mind helping me? - Not at all.

I'll take the carving board.

Sorry. The carving knife.

I'll put that here. Perfect.

Sorry! What was I thinking?

All right.

Can you manage, honey?

Here's Claudine. She's carrying what looks like a veal roast

with green beans and Chatouillard potatoes.

What? Sorry! I'm told it's roast pheasant

with peaches and cherries.

The minister is carving!

A beautiful shot!

Tell me...

what is your ideal future?

Let's do our own little test.

Imagine you're the minister and you have unlimited power -

which I certainly don't! No, thanks.

What would you do?

- You go. - No, you start.

Well...

no one would work. Everything would be computerized.

That way, we'd have time to do things.

We could learn, think, love.

There'd be no more frontiers, no more wars,

no more prisons, no more hunger,

no more rich, no more poor.

No more government.

We'd be happy, you know?

It won't happen overnight, of course. What do you think?

I think we'll always work,

and as for the government, I'm afraid that -

My dear Claudine,

I wish you could do all that,

but you know, even though I may seem like an optimist,

the future worries me.

To me, only one thing matters:

Does mankind want progress or happiness?

We can't have both.

May I have some more? - Of course.

You see...

I'm a pessimist who hasn't lost all hope.

That's lovely!

I fight with all my strength not to give up.

What about technology? Don't you think -

No, neither technology nor politics.

Only Man. - That's it.

Man.

If logic cannot save us,

we shall go beyond logic to find Man,

or rather, Woman.

When I say Man, I include Woman:

intuition, tenderness, practicality, the protector of life.

All that sounds great,

but we struggle just to pay all our taxes and fees -

Yes, but if sociologists, ecologists, economists, poets,

and statesmen,

with the help of average men and women,

sought a new viewpoint, a common dream,

we might just have a chance!

More wine?

I'd love some.

Me too.

And now...

I speak to you as your minister.

Like everyone,

you have fears, questions, doubts.

No, no fear.

Admit it! You often wonder what to do.

Well, yeah.

You put your faith in me,

and it's my duty to answer you.

It's not that we -

We must first end inflation and then create new jobs.

Exactly. And fight injustice.

Yes, but...

how?

Exactly.

By supporting economic growth,

helping businesses, protecting workers,

and reducing social inequality.

Exactly.

That's all?

Of course not. There are details to work out,

plan, organize, and resolve,

but with your help!

That's wonderful!

I've heard you can bend spoons.

I certainly can.

Well, it depends.

It doesn't always work.

It depends on the atmosphere

and energy currents.

Here, hold this spoon.

I can feel it moving!

I think...

That's right. "I think..."

- I'll get the dessert. - Need help?

Don't worry, I can do it myself.

I love helping out.

Give me your glass.

- Why'd you give me your glass? - You asked me to.

Stand up.

That's submission to authority.

It's a serious matter.

Taken too far, it leads to Auschwitz!

I did tests in the New York subway. You know what the subway is?

The French call it le Metro.

I told my team to ask passengers

to give up their seats.

My team was hesitant and didn't want to,

but I got mad, so they went.

Know what happened?

- The passengers refused? - No, they got up.

Interesting experiment, isn't it?

- I don't know. - Stay standing!

Just kidding!

- A Floating Island! - And champagne!

What's going on?

- It's him. - What is?

Sit down.

Remain standing!

I've had about enough of this!

- Okay, fine. Sit. - I'll do what I want!

Did you two fight?

Just a little experiment.

You and your experiments!

Please, Jean-Michel, don't get upset.

Dr. Goldberg certainly didn't mean to -

Sit down and let's have dessert.

Let's sing!

How did that song from your vacation go?

It goes...

There are G. O.s all over Cefalu-oo-oo

Sing, Jean-Michel!

I've sung enough. You sing.

Don't you like it?

Sure. But how about:

The republic calls upon you

Victory for the red, white, and blue!

A Frenchman lives for his country

And for her he will die!

Still awake?

No.

What's wrong?

Nothing. Everything's fine.

Is it me? What'd I do now?

Nothing at all. Everything was fine.

You were perfect, wonderful.

What an evening!

I was on edge. I drank too much.

"Sing, Jean-Michel!"

You never miss a chance to make me look stupid!

- You know that's not true. - It isn't?

Is there a problem?

Get lost or I swear -

Jean-Michel, Claudine, answer us.

Don't answer.

Be quiet.

We're here.

Is there a problem? That's what we're here for.

Answer.

Answer!

And now let's sing!

"May I call you Claudine?"

Your country calls upon you

Victory for the red, white, and blue!

I'll die for my country!

"When I say Man, I include Woman."

"Really?"

"Jean-Michel, sing Cefalu-oo-oo!"

We're the Model Couple! That's all we are!

My name's Claudine!

Mine's Jean-Michel

- We normalize - We analyze

- We inspect - We dissect

- Sympathetic! - Pathetic!

We are unique!

- We are - Guinea pigs

- We are - Not vain

Humane!

We're the Model Couple!

You know, we didn't get paid this month.

You're right.

What's more, they withheld 90,000 francs

from the 280 of my salary. That can't be right.

Another thing I can't stand is that I'm paid less than you.

That too.

We can't stand for this. I'm gonna talk to them tomorrow.

Me too.

They won't get away with this.

What is it now?

You know what time it is? Is this another test?

Yes, a new experiment.

You're being held hostage by ruthless revolutionaries.

- That's us. - You?

You work for the Center?

Like I said, it's a new test.

You're fed up, right?

- Yes! - Okay.

We're changing things.

We'll pretend to be terrorists and take you hostage.

Tomorrow they'll call in the cops, TV cameras, the whole deal.

We'll demand air time on TV in exchange for your freedom.

It'll be really cool.

You're just kids! You really work for the Ministry of the Future?

Sure! We're the future!

- Does that surprise you? - Nothing surprises me now.

Get up, both of you.

Unplug the camera. You get the TV. You, the speakers.

I still don't understand.

- What don't you understand? - This whole thing.

With the recession, interest in Future Cities and Model Couples is fading,

so if TV audiences think you're in danger,

they'll be outraged and forget about all the rest. A classic tactic.

For 1 2 hours, the Model Apartment has been occupied by terrorist commandos

holding the Model Couple hostage.

What do these gangsters hope to gain?

The Minister of the Future, after a sleepless night,

admits that he's helpless.

"They're armed", he declared.

"They've got grenades, and they're ruthless!"

Excuse me.

It's Jean-Pierre Antoine.

What's going on? Can we get a video link?

Hello, Hubert de Bonaloi? This is Jean-Pierre Antoine.

I'm here with a camera crew outside the apartment

where Claudine and Jean-Michel are being held hostage.

You read me?

We read you loud and clear.

Good. As I was saying,

for the last 12 hours, the Center has been holding its breath.

As has all of France!

But who are these terrorists? What do they want?

Unfortunately we don't know at this time.

Wait!

I see a terrorist, a female.

Probably their spokesman.

I'll ask the cameraman to film her.

Tell him to adjust the exposure.

Adjust the exposure.

Hello, terrorists!

Do you hear me? What do you want? Why cause this nightmare?

You're the nightmare, butt-face!

We're sick of workers, slums and working for crumbs!

This is your last warning:

Stop your bullshit or we'll blow it all to bits!

They've got bombs!

What's the situation?

It's clear that Claudine and Jean-Michel are hostages.

They've been kidnapped, imprisoned, taken hostage.

Legally, this is a very tricky situation.

Two things can happen:

If they're released after less than four days,

their assailants risk 15 years in prison,

but if the hostages are held for more than four days,

their assailants could receive life in prison.

But this isn't a normal situation!

We're not judging adults who've kidnapped children,

but children who've kidnapped adults!

Children who've kidnapped adults!

That changes everything.

Existing law doesn't address such a case.

Frankly, I don't see a judicial solution.

Something's happening. Do you read me?

They're going to let us see the Model Couple.

There they are! It's the Couple!

Model Couple, how are you?

We've been treated well, but we're very tired!

It stinks in there! The toilets are clogged!

The horror!

Terrorists, take me hostage and release the Model Couple.

Chief, no!

Enough bullshit! We want action!

We want an hour of air time! Got that?

An hour of air time or else!

Let's go.

Hear that? Anger's running high,

but with lives at stake, we must keep it in check.

I'm speaking with Chief Bayard,

who, for the last 12 hours,

has shown incredible composure.

Bravo! Incredible!

You should've seen it! They were shitting their pants!

You were great. I almost cried.

You were perfect. Superb.

- Imagine what your parents will say! - You smoke?

Kids grow up fast these days.

- Got a light? - Here.

Hold on. The chief of police.

Yes, it's me.

Okay.

How long? Are you nuts?

Yeah. All right.

When will it be aired?

And no funny stuff. We don't budge till we see it.

And we want a getaway car.

A Porsche. No, a Mercedes.

- A Rolls! - A tank!

- Okay, bye. - Well?

A TV crew's coming. It'll air tonight.

Cool!

How much air time?

Three minutes.

Just three?

Programming conflicts. We'll be on after the news.

That's prime time.

Just three minutes! We better think what to say.

We'll give ,em hell!

Check it out.

- Who's there? - TVcrew.

The TV crew, guys!

That was fast!

All right!

Hello.

The terrorists.

What's the plan?

First, we explain why we're here.

Second, we expose this entire operation,

and third -

Right. Where do we set up?

Stay there. Model Couple, stand next to me.

Clear the table. Julien, shut the door.

Nobody wants to hear speeches, so we'll do something really cool.

- What do we do? - Hold on.

Can you believe this mess?

- Ready? - Rolling.

Terrorists, take 1 .

Here's the big moment you've been waiting for, folks.

Sorry, no big desk and flag, but I'm speaking from the heart.

Let's meet the gang. I'm Pierrot.

This is Julien and Georges,

and you already know Claudine and Jean-Michel.

This is Charlotte,

Vincent and Frederic.

What was I gonna say?

Think about the TV you're watching. Whose is it?

Only two or three knobs work, and the station chooses what you see.

You never look inside it.

Try to take it apart and it'll blow up in your face!

Same for your apartment.

You think you own it, but your ceiling is the floor upstairs,

the walls are your neighbors, walls!

You got screwed!

Your apartment was sold twice, and it's like that with everything.

So? So you own nothing.

You've got nothing to lose, so give it up.

Thanks. And now bring on the kids!

And now, the Model Couple!

We don't really know what to say.

We don't really understand.

Listen here!

Enough nonsense. Stop it now.

We've had enough.

Enough! Stop it!

You're just jerking us around! It's all bullshit.

- No, it's not. - It is.

All that stuff about the ministry!

We were having fun!

You're like all the others, just trying to manipulate us!

Manipulate!

You don't even know what you're doing.

What will happen to us now? This experiment is important to us.

They'll throw us out with no pay!

They won't hold you responsible.

- We'll be a laughingstock. - Everyone will say we were in on it.

You were fed up, weren't you?

What do you care? It's not your problem.

You think you're a revolutionary!

You grab a mike and show off on TV!

We were just having fun!

- Don't you know politics is just a show? - We put on a show!

A show! Who do you think you are?

Put on a show at home for your parents!

Lighten up!

FREE THE MODEL COUPLE

- Is it broken? - No picture.

They must have disconnected the antenna.

Probably.

I bet they won't even air it.

I'm getting hungry.

- Me too. - Me too.

Let's see what we can find.

- I'll go with you. - Me too.

Wait for me.

Hey, guys, how about we -

Yeah, okay!

At least we had fun, right?

Yeah, it was cool.

What's that?

They're coming!

- What do we do, boss? - Pack it all up.

Check out what they're doing!

They took out all our furniture.

We'd better go see. Everybody out.

What are you doing with our furniture?

We don't know.

- Who told you to put it here? - The boss.

- Where's the boss? - We don't know.

They're throwing you out. We didn't mean for you to take the rap.

Sorry.

Why don't you come with us?

Let's go.

Well, see ya.

Bye, Claudine!

THE MODEL COUPLE

EXPERIMENT TERMINATED!

We don't know where the boss is.

We don't know.

We really don't.

Hey, Model Couple!

With your new way of life

And your stereophonic kisses

Hey, Model Couple!

With your programmed happiness

And your standardized wishes

Hey, Model Couple!

Not bad but not perfect

The average French couple

Politically correct

What's troubling you?

Is it all in your head or is it really true?

Don't know, do you?

If not you, then who?

Poor little dears, you've waited for years

Couples all across France

It's too late You've lost your chance

Hey, Model Couple!

With your new brand of dreams

And your video nightmares

Hey, Model Couple!

Happy, sad, indifferent

Average at 88 percent

Hey, Model Couple!

Something must have changed, ain't that true?

No need to feel blue

Don't call us

We'll call you

Yes, we'll remember

Still at the same number?

Poor little dears, you've waited for years

Couples from all across France

It's over, no second chance!

Translation by LYNN MASSEY for SUBTEXT SUBTITLING