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1
00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:03,090
♪♪
2
00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:04,526
Listen up!
3
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,180
Your usual
driver's ed teacher
4
00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:08,617
is at the courthouse fighting
for his driver's license
5
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,619
due to the fallout
from the holiday party.
6
00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:12,969
In his defense,the greatest driver in the world
7
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,276
couldn't have outrun the cops
in his condition.
8
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,496
These are your
learner's permits.
9
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,194
Before you get them,
I need to know
10
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:23,110
who will be supervising
your behind-the-wheel hours.
11
00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:23,936
Steve?
12
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,199
My dad -- Stan.
13
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,288
Ah, yes,
dads are great.
14
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,725
Mine was an alcoholic.
But the fun kind.
15
00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,988
So don't go gettin'
all sad on me, Smith.
16
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:32,902
Next.
17
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,296
Toshi,
I'm skipping over you
18
00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:37,298
because you refuse
to learn English.
19
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,081
Barry?
20
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,127
My father's name
is Dad!
21
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,780
Sounds like
a great driver.
22
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,521
And, Snot,
who's teaching you?
23
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,523
My dad's
no longer with us.
24
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:48,961
No problem, you got a hot mom --I mean mom.
25
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,267
Redundant much, Brian?
26
00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:52,182
[ Chuckles ]
Hot mom.
27
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,358
Your daddy's dead.
28
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,795
You're a freeeak.
29
00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:59,581
♪♪
30
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,713
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
31
00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:05,543
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
32
00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,677
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
33
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:13,334
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
34
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:18,339
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
35
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:21,124
♪ Good -- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
36
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,125
Aah!
37
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:26,782
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
38
00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:29,045
♪♪
39
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,701
Aww, Schmuley, why you got
your head in a poof?
40
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:34,964
Well, I was in
driver's ed today,
41
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:37,923
and all the other kidsare getting their dadsto teach them,
42
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:41,275
and it just reminded methat I don't have a dad --
43
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:43,364
Driver's ed?!
No sir!
44
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:44,843
Get driving
outta your head.
45
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,410
It is too dangerous!
46
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,412
There's the fumes,
the tires,
47
00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:50,588
all the people
flippin' the bird!
48
00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:53,156
If Dad was here,
he'd teach me.
49
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:57,073
I knew his death wouldaffect my life eventually!
50
00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,250
Thanks again for taking me
driving, Mr. Tuttle.
51
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,643
And thank you
for interrupting me
52
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:03,949
from cold callingpeople in the phone book
53
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,299
for human interaction.
54
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,518
Okay, first, you're gonna wannafasten your seatbelt.
55
00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:08,824
[ Seatbelt clicks ]
56
00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:11,522
Check your mirrors.
57
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:14,525
Grip the steering wheel
at 10:00 and 2:00.
58
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:18,312
And now drive to the hospital.I'm having a heart attack.
59
00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:19,835
What?!
To the hospital.
60
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:22,968
I know my body, and itis attacking my heart.
61
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,232
But I don't know how --Just drive!
62
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,320
[ Engine revs, tires screech ]
63
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,973
I'm going backwards!
64
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:29,410
That's called reverse.
65
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,803
If I survive,I'll teach you forwards.
66
00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:35,285
Whoa-a-a-a-a...
67
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:37,461
Boom, bitch.
68
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,333
Don't say "boom bitch"to your father.
69
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,682
It's my
learner's permit.
70
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,466
Whaddya say?
Will you take me driving?
71
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,773
Uh, I'd love to,
but something came up.
72
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:49,212
And what came up
is-z-z-z-z-z...
73
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:53,434
...z-z-z-z-z-z-z...
74
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:58,439
...a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a......z-z-z-z-z-z-z...
75
00:02:58,482 --> 00:02:59,875
[ Engine starts ]
76
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:02,007
[ Tires screech ]
77
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,358
Haaaayles?
78
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,012
Sorry, Steve. I'm working
special detail for Sub Hub.
79
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:09,667
Driving a truckload of salami
down to Florida.
80
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,278
'Sgotta get there
or some shit.
81
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:14,368
But that's perfect.I can drive when you get tired.
82
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,239
[ Sighs ]
Alright, you can come.
83
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,501
But no
bathroom breaks.
84
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:20,287
You'll pee in
a 2007 X Games souvenir cup
85
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,897
like the rest of us.
86
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,031
[ Tires screech ]
87
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,859
[ Groans ]
88
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,471
It's family only
beyond here.
89
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,516
Is this man
your father?
90
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,039
No, he's not.
91
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,302
Man: But I am!
92
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:36,477
[ Gasps ]
93
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,653
A man...
who knew your father.
94
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,351
You knew my dad?Dick Keebler.
95
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,396
Good to meetcha,
good to meetcha.
96
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,311
Sorry 'bout
my sweaty-ass hand.
97
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,529
I got
hyperhidrosis.
98
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:46,617
Feels normal
to me --
99
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,619
I also got hyperglycemia,
hypertension,
100
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,099
and I'm
a hypochondriac.
101
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,101
Doctor says that's the one
that's gonna get me.
102
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,625
Pff. Hey, you think
I could dig up an MRI
103
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,540
in this joint
without talking to anyone?
104
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:57,454
I don't think so.
105
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:59,369
Were you gonna talk
about my dad?
106
00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:01,066
Pff.
I was his co-pilot.
107
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,546
My dad was a pilot?
108
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,461
Nah. On the demolition derby
circuit.
109
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,289
Cars. Ever heard of 'em?
Pff.
110
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,943
C'mon, I'll tell you
about your dad.
111
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:10,511
Fun fact -- We were
blood brothers.
112
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:11,947
I gave him
hepatitis.
113
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,428
His eyes were
the color of mustard.
114
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,647
Roger:
Lanceton Raceway Park.
115
00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:19,737
Home to the demolition derby
and the weekly swap meet.
116
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,871
No matter the year,
it's always the '70s there.
117
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:25,439
Your dad, Lonny,
drove the Red Rammer.
118
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:26,701
Damn car was unstoppable.
119
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,224
Pssh.
Famous too.
120
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,444
It was in the movie
"Mother, Jugs & Speed."
121
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,141
Snot:I...haven't seen that.
122
00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,883
It was the car that ran that bus
full of nuns off the road.
123
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,972
[ Laughs ]
Betcha remember that scene.
124
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,453
No, I -- I
haven't seen it --
125
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:40,715
Good stuff,
you remember.
126
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,543
Mr. Keebler,
I'm sorry,
127
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:43,718
but this guy
you're describing
128
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,981
doesn't sound likethe dad
Inever knew.
129
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:49,463
Pssh. The way I saw you haulin'
ass in reverse, derby style?
130
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,203
You're Lonny's kid,
alright.
131
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,379
Pff.
Derby's in your blood.
132
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:55,556
Derby racing.
In myblood.
133
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,253
Surprised you don't
know about him.
134
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,037
Didn't he leave you the
Red Rammer when he croaked?
135
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,475
All I've got of my dad'sis a huge shoe
136
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:04,042
I found in the garagethat I thinkwas his.
137
00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,609
I wear it around
the house sometimes
138
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:08,612
and pretend I haveone really big foot.
139
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:09,613
It's lame,
I know.
140
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,136
Nah, that's normal.
141
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,921
I wear my dead mom's heels
around the house
142
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,618
and pretend I have
a big ol' vagina.
143
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,490
Pff.Was my dad any good?
144
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,708
The best.
145
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,275
He was always
slammin' into everybody.
146
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,363
That sounds bad.
147
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,756
Nah,
that's how you win.
148
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,497
Destroy
the other cars.
149
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,368
I was
your dad's spotter --
150
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:26,500
his eyes and ears
out there.
151
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:27,588
[ Glass shatters ]
152
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:28,502
Car!
153
00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:29,851
[ Glass shatters ]
154
00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:30,373
Car!
155
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,070
[ Glass shatters ]
156
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:32,941
Car!
157
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,246
[ Thud ]
158
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,597
Holy crap!
There she is!
159
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,599
Can we just stay
focused on my dad?
160
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,252
Right, right.
We never lost.
161
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,950
But Ilost...
162
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:44,431
Lost controlof my blood sugar...
163
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:48,173
♪♪
164
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,740
Roger: Your dad
put his foot on the dash
165
00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,655
to do
his signature move,
166
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,483
the Skidrokyo Drift.
167
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:54,528
[ Tires screech ]
168
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,877
[ Bang ]
169
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,487
♪♪
170
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:58,793
And my blood sugar
was tanking.
171
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,882
Did I mention
I'm also diabetic?
172
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,579
Seven doctors said
it's all in my head.
173
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:05,582
Pff. I didn't even know
there was brain diabetes.
174
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:06,540
[ Engine revs ]
175
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:10,065
[ Muffled shouting ]
176
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:10,761
[ Bang, glass shatters ]
177
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:12,459
[ Cheers and applause ]
178
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:13,982
Lonny injured
his neck so bad,
179
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,593
he couldn't turn his head to
the right to drive in reverse.
180
00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,508
Snot:
So he had to quit.Nope.
181
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:19,988
Went to England to race.
182
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,251
Steering wheels are on the otherside over there. Pff.
183
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,819
So that's why
he left us.[ MRI beeping ]
184
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:28,083
Mr. Keebler, I'd liketo know more about my dad.
185
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:28,779
Pff.
186
00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,346
Is "Pff"
a bad thing?
187
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,478
[ Whirs ]It can be.
188
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:32,653
That was a good one,
though.
189
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,568
I'm gonna do more than
tell you about your dad,
190
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:36,570
I'm gonna teach you
to be like him.
191
00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:38,354
Teach you
how to derby.
192
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,443
This is gonna be
so cool!
193
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,576
I'll bring
Dad's big shoe!
194
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,665
Pff.
That was a bad "Pff."
195
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,667
Shoe stays at home.
Pff.
196
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,320
That one means
I'm thirsty.
197
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:49,713
[ Birds chirping ]
198
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,323
[ Radio crackles ]This is
Headband Dynamite,
199
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,717
I'm sittin' bumpy at
a cardboard red Popsicle, over.
200
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:56,503
Man: [ Through CB radio ]
That is a big 10-4, Headband!
201
00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,679
Pavement Pouncer here,
over!
202
00:06:58,722 --> 00:06:59,680
Whoa, this works?
203
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,464
I was just goofin'!
204
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,509
Hayley?!
205
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,685
It says that the salamiwe're transporting
206
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,251
is highly explosive!
207
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:07,601
Well, the chemicals
in the preservatives
208
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,037
are pretty volatile.
209
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,865
And all that salami's
loose back there,
210
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,258
just slices
floppin' around.
211
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:14,477
Super illegal.
212
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,479
But if you think
about it,
213
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:20,091
aren't we all just
loose slices floppin' around?
214
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:23,704
Uh...take 193 South.
215
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,619
Nope.
Gotta do all back roads.
216
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,621
Can't risk
getting pulled over.
217
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,884
Plus, we get to hit up
some rural strip clubs.
218
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,494
Those
backwoods beauties have
219
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,714
bushes that'll
knock your teeth out.
220
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:34,628
[ Horn blares ]
221
00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,543
[ Tires hiss ]
222
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:39,328
♪♪
223
00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:40,851
Schmuley,
you're back!
224
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:42,853
I was so worried
about you.
225
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:45,769
Worried I'd find out
Dad was a derby driver?
226
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,075
[ Gasps ]
Keebla.
227
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,294
That's right,
it wasKeebler!
228
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:52,167
And I'm finally hearing
stories about Dad!
229
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,647
Which I never get
from you!
230
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,910
I don't want you hanging outwith that Keebla.
231
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,216
I'm doing more than
hanging out with him.
232
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,567
I'm learning to drive
from him.
233
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,743
[ Car horn plays "La Cucaracha"
in distance ]
234
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:07,748
I think we can all guess
whose horn thatis.
235
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:08,575
[ Door opens, slams ]
236
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:12,579
[ Horn continues ]
237
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:13,971
Welcome to my Miata.
238
00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:16,670
This is James.
James, Snot.
239
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,236
I'm driving
for Uber Two-Seater.
240
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,717
And before you say that's not
a thing, it's not.
241
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,327
Way to go, James,
you blew it.
242
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:26,114
Kid saw right through you.
Just get out.
243
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,550
See you tomorrow,
James![ Engine starts ]
244
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,117
I know it's not
a great first impression,
245
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,206
but what do you
think of James?
246
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:37,125
So this is
Raceway Park.
247
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:39,127
Where my dad
used to derby.
248
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,782
Yep. And he used
to do his derbyin'
249
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,261
with the
Derby Donkeys.
250
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:46,787
Hey, Donkeys, this here's
Lonny Lonstein's poo stain.
251
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,179
[ Sniffs ]
252
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:52,793
Well, I'll be,
stinks just like Lonny!
253
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:53,707
Just like Lonny.
254
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,839
Got Lonny's
ugly smile too!
255
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,406
Ugly smile too.
256
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,147
'Course, Lonny didn'trepeat everything
257
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,802
like some
damn trick bird.
258
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,847
Let's get away
from this guy.
259
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,807
So, kid, if I'm gonna train ya,
we're gonna need a car.
260
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:07,721
You really
don't know
261
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,244
what happened to
the Red Rammer, huh?
262
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,072
No idea.
263
00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:13,770
Wh-What's happening?I thought we were gonna train.
264
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:16,164
Soon, soon.Need a little sex first.
265
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,166
Hold my clotheslike your daddy used to.
266
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:20,168
I won't make it10 feet in this garage
267
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:22,474
before I'm deep-doggin'
a derby daisy.
268
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:26,304
Snot: [ Muffled ] Whoa.
Big hat.
269
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,785
[ Birds chirping ]
270
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:33,050
[ Grunting ]
271
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,447
Good.
You're still here.
272
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,405
'Cause you haven't
started training me!
273
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,233
You've been having sex
all night --
274
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:43,844
Oh, you heard that,
did you?
275
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:46,237
[ Exhales ]I can get pretty loud.
276
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:48,631
C'mon.
Nowit's time.
277
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,807
[ Keyboard clacking ][ Whispering ] I thought
you said it was time.
278
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:53,462
Soon, soon.Just havin' a look at WebMD.
279
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:56,334
Pretty sure I caughtsomething last night.
280
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,642
Does this look
like the picture?
281
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:00,861
Jesus!
282
00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:03,907
Alright, time to earn
your learner's permit.
283
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,996
Steve: You want me
to drive now?!
284
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:10,261
It's driving,
just have fun with it.
285
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,915
[ Gear cranks ]
286
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,439
[ Wheels hiss ]
287
00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:16,790
[ Wood creaking ]
288
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:19,793
[ Chuckles nervously ]
Th-This isn't so bad.
289
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,795
[ Birds chirping,
wood creaking ]
290
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:24,667
Steve, there's
a chipmunk gnawing!
291
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,234
[ Gnaws ]
292
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:26,713
[ Whimpers ]
293
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,105
[ Engine revs ]
294
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,456
[ Gnaws ]
295
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,458
[ Screeches ]
296
00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:34,634
Oh.
297
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,158
Oh, no!
298
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:39,334
[ Hawk cries, bear growls ]
299
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,857
Oh, thank God.
300
00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,511
What the hell?!
301
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:43,817
[ Groans ]
302
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,079
I'm saved!
303
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,297
[ Grunting ]
304
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,735
Why does everyone hate
this rope so much?!
305
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,824
[ Engine revs, tires screech ]
306
00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:53,565
If this cone was a car,you'd've smashed it.
307
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:56,830
It's no Rammer, but you're gonnakick ass in the Miata Masher.
308
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:59,746
You haven't even taught me
the Skidrokyo Drift.
309
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,399
You really think
I'm ready to derby?
310
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,924
'Bout fifty-fifty.
Maybe fofty-fofty.
311
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:06,361
But fofty-fofty's
not a real number --
312
00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:08,232
Yeah, okay, thenI'll say fifty-fifty.
313
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,628
Vespa's been ridin'
my ass.
314
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,847
[ Tires screech ]
315
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,980
[ Tap ]
316
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,155
[ Birds chirping ]
317
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,592
Wheels are shot
and the front fell! Pff.
318
00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:21,811
What about the derby?!
319
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:24,074
Can't do it
without a car.
320
00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:27,512
Okay, guy, let's seeyour insurance info.
321
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,514
Uh-huh.
322
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,081
Uh, do you wanna
give me yours?
323
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:34,084
My insurance is that I now knowwhere you live.
324
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,870
And if I get so much as onephone call from GEICO,
325
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:38,785
I will burn your houseto the ground
326
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:41,962
429 Shippey Lane --
[ Stammers ]
327
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,354
Wait, 492?
328
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,879
Shippey doesn't sound right,either --
329
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:46,880
No!
330
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:47,924
[ Panting ]
331
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,796
Something's zapping me.
332
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,101
[ Keyboard clacking ]
333
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,581
Well, Snot,
the results are in.
334
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:55,192
Your old pal'sgot the Muscular Dystrophy.
335
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,977
How about instead
of looking up symptoms
336
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,761
we find another derby car?
337
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,807
That's a great idea,why don't you try to find
338
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:03,374
the Red Rammerlike I've been telling you to!
339
00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:06,813
Dick, I gotta remind you
to keep your voice down.
340
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,597
[ Hushed ] I got the dystrophy,Barbara.
341
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,903
I got the dystrophy!
342
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,165
[ Normal voice ] And this onewon't find the Red Rammer
343
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,557
like I've been tellin' him.
344
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:17,345
In any case,
[hushed] if you could just...
345
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,782
Now you're getting mein trouble with Barbara.
346
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,263
♪♪
347
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:24,352
There you are!I've been worried sick!
348
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:26,920
Mom, do you know what happened
to the Red Rammer?
349
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,138
It's gone.
350
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,271
So you do know
what happened to it.
351
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:31,925
And you're never
gonna find it.
352
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:32,882
Oh, yeah?!
Yeah!
353
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:33,840
Yeah?
Yeah!
354
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:34,797
Yeah?
Yeah!
355
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:35,798
Yeah?
Yeah!
356
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:36,799
Yeah?
Yeah!!
357
00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,018
[ Yells ]
358
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,671
[Table thuds ]
359
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:43,893
What the?
360
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:50,030
[ Clock ticks ]
361
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,815
Schmuley,
just take it easy.
362
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,817
Let's listen to some music.
363
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:57,472
[ Radio plays ]
364
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,648
I can't believe you.
365
00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:03,043
How did I not see --
366
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:03,870
Schmuley, please!
367
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,828
You chopped up the Rammer!
368
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:09,963
This is all Dad left me,
and you chopped it up!
369
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,704
I did what I had to doto keep this family --
370
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:15,403
and this house --
from falling apart!
371
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:18,667
All you ever tell me about Dad
is the bad things.
372
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:23,628
But he was a derby-driving,
Keebler clothes-holdin' badass.
373
00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:26,109
[ Cries ]
374
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,851
[ Thunder rumbles ]
375
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,158
[ Cries ]
376
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:34,465
[ Windows squeaking ]
377
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,644
We're actually
gonna make it!
378
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:42,647
[ Siren wails ]
379
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:44,345
Oh, God!
380
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,263
Just be cool,
I'll take care of this.
381
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,569
Hi, Officer,
what seems to be the problem?
382
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:55,225
Y'all two Yankee childs
wouldn't be haulin' contraband
383
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:58,011
luncheon meat through
my county now, would ya?
384
00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:59,577
What?! No.
385
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,928
I don't know which smell
is stronger,
386
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,234
bullshit or salami --
387
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,019
[ Quitely ]
No, do it the other way.
388
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:08,021
[ Normal voice ] I don't know
which smell is stronger,
389
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,762
salami or bullshit.
390
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,677
[ Quietly ] Much better, good
job, you did good, good boy.
391
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:15,593
[ Normal voice ] Now open
the back of the truck.
392
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:19,032
Well, I guess I'm opening
the truck now...
393
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:28,302
♪♪
394
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:31,000
Please,
don't make me do this.
395
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:33,046
State Trooper:Whaddya waitin' for?
396
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:36,310
♪♪
397
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:40,357
Uh...it's just
that it's...so hot.
398
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:43,360
Missy, if you think
that is gonna --
399
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:48,191
[ High-pitched ] Owie wowie,baby wants mommy,
400
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,541
[panting] make it dirty!
401
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,500
[ Horn blares ]
402
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:53,762
Oh, thank God.
403
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,155
[ Muffled gunshots ]
404
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,722
[ Jeff sobs ]
405
00:14:57,766 --> 00:15:00,247
What have I done?!
406
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,512
So, what's on the itinerary?
407
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:07,080
A little rat chasingin the ol' garage?
408
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,952
No, Barry.
We're rebuilding my dad's car.
409
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:13,129
Alright, but if I find a rat,I'm still eatin' it.
410
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:16,828
[ The Ides of March's "Vehicle"
plays ]
411
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:21,616
♪♪
412
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:25,098
♪ Hey, well, I'm the friendly
stranger in the black sedan ♪
413
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,448
♪ Won't 'cha hop
inside my car? ♪
414
00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,841
♪ I got pictures, I got candy,
I'm a lovable man ♪
415
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,105
♪ And I can take you
to the nearest star ♪
416
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:34,411
♪ I'm your vehicle, baby
417
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:37,066
♪ I can take you anywhere
you wanna go ♪
418
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:39,329
♪ I'm your vehicle, woman
419
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,549
♪ By that, I'm sure you know
420
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,246
♪ That I love ya ♪ Love ya
421
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:44,465
♪ I need ya ♪ Need ya
422
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,989
♪ I wants ya, gots to have you,
child ♪
423
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:51,907
♪ Great God in heaven,
you know I love you ♪
424
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:57,347
♪♪
425
00:15:57,391 --> 00:16:00,046
♪ Well, if you wants
to be a movie star ♪
426
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:03,484
[ Engine revs, tires screech ]
427
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:04,833
[ Cheering ]
428
00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:07,401
♪ You know,
I think you really should ♪
429
00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:09,359
♪ I'm your vehicle, baby
430
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:13,102
You found her...and she's
beautiful.
431
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:14,408
M-May I?
432
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:16,018
Sure.
433
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,238
[ Engine revs ]
434
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,369
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
435
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:22,416
I'm stealing the Rammer.
Pff.
436
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:25,941
Keebler, you dirty thief!
437
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,292
Come back with my daddy's car!
438
00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:32,600
[ Sobs ]
439
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:36,169
Mom?Dry those tears,
my beautiful baby boy.
440
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,040
We're getting
the Rammer back.
441
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,302
Oh, wow!
442
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,087
I just have to drop
this Tupperware off
443
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:42,436
at Mrs. Amendola's house.
444
00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:44,829
I've had it forever,it's on the way,
445
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,048
don't make a face.
446
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:55,144
That damn Keebla stole your car
and half my house!
447
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,277
And my trust
in strangers!
448
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,279
Get him, Mom!
449
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:00,628
[ Tires screech ]Hey, Donkeys!
450
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,195
I've got a dingleberry
danglin'!
451
00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:04,023
Get 'em off my tail!
452
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,288
Let's roll!
453
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:09,419
[ Screams ]
454
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:12,292
No!
455
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,076
Get it together, Derrick.
456
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,947
Keebler needs us.
457
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:18,646
Woo-hoo!
458
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:22,867
No!
459
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:27,655
♪♪
460
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,309
[ Tires screech ]
461
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,790
Mom,you gotta hit him back!
462
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,097
I can't do it!
You take the wheel.
463
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,143
What?!
464
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,319
You were born to drive.
465
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:40,668
I tried to deny it,
'cause I didn't want
466
00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:43,149
to lose you
to that damn derby.
467
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:46,456
But I don't have to worry
because you're not your dad.
468
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,546
Now be your dad
and smash these fools!
469
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,376
They're coming up
on both sides!
470
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,117
Car! Car!
471
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,118
[ Tires screech ]
472
00:17:56,162 --> 00:18:00,992
♪♪
473
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:04,170
Wow, Schmuley, you've reallygot a knock for --
474
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:07,260
On your six!
475
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,392
Mom,
you sound like a spotter.
476
00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:12,352
I was your fatha's firstspotter, before Keebla.
477
00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,483
You?
[ Clattering ]
478
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,006
Yeah,but when I got pregnant --
479
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,269
You had to hang it up.
480
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:17,270
Yeah.
481
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,141
Plus side though,
the derby guys
482
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,012
threw me a very nicebaby shower.
483
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,145
And the strippers
had what appeared
484
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,408
to be full sex
with each other.
485
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:26,366
[ Birds chirping ]Mmm.
486
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,368
Is it the explosive
preservatives
487
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:29,760
that make it taste
so good?
488
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,851
Whoa!It's Snot and his mom!
489
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,026
They're in trouble.
490
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:40,597
♪♪
491
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,164
This Headband
to Pavement Pouncer
492
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,600
or any other trucker
out there.
493
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:45,298
Shut the door
and sit on the toilet,
494
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,561
'cause I've got some friends
deep in donkey-doo, over.
495
00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,563
Pavement Pouncer:
That's a big 10-4, Headband.
496
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:52,305
Four hot shovels
coming your way.
497
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:55,221
I see you now. And you're
bringing a great big convoy --
498
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,310
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You can't say that word!
499
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:58,789
We're nothing like that song!
500
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:02,576
What song? Not this one!
501
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:04,752
♪ We got a big group
of tru-ucks ♪
502
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,667
♪ That means more
than one truck ♪
503
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,322
♪ Yeah, we got a big group
of tru-ucks ♪
504
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,193
♪ Usually four or five trucks
505
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,326
♪ C'mon and join our big group
of trucks ♪
506
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,066
♪ This time it's only
four trucks ♪
507
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:16,024
[ Horn honks ]
508
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:19,158
♪ Tru-ucks
509
00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:24,250
What the hell?
510
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:27,427
Guess it's up to us to getthat Donkey off his tail.
511
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,125
Hey, honey!
Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
512
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,909
[ Laughing ] Oh, yeah!
513
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:36,697
[ Both groaning ]
514
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:44,139
♪♪
515
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,793
Snot: Whoo-hoo!
516
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,099
♪♪
517
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,231
There's Keebla!
518
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:52,016
You caught 'em, Schmuley,now take 'em out!
519
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:54,932
♪♪
520
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,630
Foot on the dash?
[ Gasps ]
521
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:59,894
You're doingthe Skidrokyo Drift!
522
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:01,635
[ Tires screech ]
523
00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:03,506
♪♪
524
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:07,380
Whoooooooaaaa.
525
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:10,339
♪♪
526
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,472
[ Laughs ]
527
00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:14,256
Oh, no, you missed.
528
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,780
No, I didn't, Mom.
529
00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:20,741
For me?
530
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:23,047
But why didn't you
Skidrokyo Keebla?
531
00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:24,397
Screw Keebler.
532
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,268
And screw the Red Rammer.
533
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,704
I don't want it.
534
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:31,882
That's Dad's car,
and I'm letting it go.
535
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:32,666
Why?
536
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:34,494
'Cause Dad let us go.
537
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:37,975
He bailed on us...
but you stuck around.
538
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:40,500
And you're the only
dad I need.
539
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:42,632
Oh!
540
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:45,548
Now let's clock
some driving hours
541
00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:48,943
so I can sign
your permit paper.
542
00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:53,208
Wow, I through this moment wouldbe more powerful for me.
543
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,777
Thought it would be a littlemore meaningful.
544
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:59,345
[ Gasps ]
There it is!
545
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:02,304
There's that special feeling!
546
00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,132
Have a great night!
37489
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