Original subtitles

Someone said that if you have a kid, you'll be judged all your life.

I have three judges

and one can't even speak yet.

Needless to say, they've condemned me,

but Tm innocent.

I hope that at least you will acquit me.

WHEN MOM IS AWAY

Camilla, you have one minute until breakfast.

- Honey. - What?

Can you help me with this contract? I don't get it.

I haven't practiced for 13 years. Don't you have lawyers at work?

Yes, but I can't ask them the silly questions I ask you.

- Is that a compliment? - Of course.

Please, it's important.

Okay, I'll look at your contract while you make breakfast.

Make breakfast... me?

You always make breakfast, that's the family tradition!

It's been a pagan ritual since...

Come on! Honey, please.

Tito, untie your sister, get your shoes on and come downstairs.

Dad, can you help me?

I'm busy.

Don't move, coward.

Okay.

Tito, untie her.

Come out or I'm coming in.

- I can't go to school. - Why?

I can't find my Dark Sacrifice T-shin.

- Wear something else. - It's in the wash.

Wear the Kiss the Devil one with leggings and combat boots.

Perfect for your Satanism lesson.

May I? How about something more colourful and cheerful?

- Get out! - Sorry.

Bianca, eggs are good for you. Swallow one whole.

Tito, stop it.

I'm going to kill you anyway.

- Don't say that to your sister. - She's not my sister, she's the enemy.

Everyone in the car in five minutes.

Get your snacks and that thing, the rat... What's he called?

- Mariano. - Mariano? In his cage, thanks.

Thanks.

Honey...

So under clause number 4 I need to remove these two lines?

Yes.

Okay, thanks.

- Good morning, Dolores. - Good morning.

- Hello, Bianca. - Good morning.

Good morning.

- Why is Dolores mad at me? - Maybe because you never speak to her.

- I don't know what to say. - Well... Just try, go on!

- Dolores! - What?

- What happened to you? - What do you mean?

Your leg, you're limping.

I have one leg shorter than the other.

- Since when? - Since I was born.

My goodness!

You can hardly tell.

It just makes you swagger a bit, like a pony.

A happy swagger...

- Finished, honey? - I did my best.

Alessandro will help inspire us with new ideas.

He will show us a more fluid and sustainable way

to manage our personnel.

You, along with all the other managers here present,

have been chosen with great passion and enthusiasm by yours truly.

So don't disappoint me.

- I won't. - Good.

And as you'll work in the same sector,

you'll be partnered with Carlo, who has been with us for a long time.

For how long, Carlo?

- Well, not... - I'm sure he'll help you settle in.

- Right? - With pleasure.

- Good luck. - Thanks.

I'll second that.

- Good luck. I'm Carlo. - Alessandro Minervini.

Can I welcome you with a coffee from our machine?

Seeing we'll be working together, may I ask you a question?

Of course.

Carlo, are you one of those losers who like being screwed over instantly...

or do you prefer to be sizzled slowly over a fire?

You see?

I worked my butt off travelling round Italy representing my company,

and when I return to HQ, what do they do?

They pair me up with a youngster who wants to oust me from my post.

Today he did this to me...

- That's thanks to newfangledness. - Newfangledness?

It's like that with everything.

With our relationships, telephones, work.

We're obsessed with new, fresh things, the latest models.

We're always looking for something new.

Regardless whether it's better or worse, as long as it's new.

Giulia, I can't stand him any longer.

I feel the same too!

How's your homework going, Tito?

I don't know how to do this.

Let's see...

I dropped it!

"Re-arrange the syllables to find a word".

I'm coming.

So... like this.

"Fa-mi-ly".

- Which makes? - "Family".

- Get it? - Yes.

Good, do the rest.

- Enjoying your pasta? - Yes.

You're the best little girl in the world.

You always said we were ill-matched.

- I said that about all your boyfriends. - So what makes Matteo different?

I'm fond of him.

I don't love him anymore.

That's normal, it happens to me too.

With three kids, it's normal.

- Mom, I'm done. - Good boy, read them out.

Okay.

"Bread-board".

- Good. - "Ca-ver-nous".

Brilliant.

"Dork."

Super... what?

Dork.

"Donkey."

Dork.

- Same thing. - It's not the same thing.

Correct it.

You oldies see us youngsters as a threat.

Us "oldies"?

You're 30 years older than me.

I'm your father. I can't be 11 years old.

You're all glued to your armchairs like being old is something to be proud of.

So I'll let Alessandro have my job.

But when you need those plant sprouts

and organic millet seeds for your rat, get him to buy them.

We've had Mariano for three years and you still don't love him?

If Mariano doesn't approve of our lifestyle,

let him follow his instinct and go test our sun creams and eye drops.

Dinner's ready!

I've got a book about newfangledness.

- Is it new? - I've not touched it!

Shall we give the cook a round of applause?

Well done, honey.

She did all this because you're here, she's not always...

- Move your elbow. - Why?

- Because I told you to! - Behave.

Did you hassle Mum too when you were kids?

No! It was the other way round.

- How come? - I'm younger than her.

- Aren't you older than Auntie? - No.

I thought that too...

- Auntie's 2 years older. - You've got loads more wrinkles.

Nonsense.

Most of your mum's wrinkles are down to you guys.

- Thanks. - I mean they're expression lines.

They're nice, super-mom ones.

Well...

I came prepared...

You've done...

She's done a poo. Will you change her?

Did you hear her say: "I've done a poo"?

Yes.

- How do you do that? - Must be my wrinkles.

It's like another language to me.

It's like listening to a dolphin, or a whale...

- You see? - Okay, I'll change her. Why can't you?

She wants to get lung cancer. You don't have to hide it.

Oh God!

- Would you like to try... - No, but thank you!

Okay»-

Let's go.

- Mommy! - With me, not mommy!

Here she is, my little poo-pants.

Mommy.

This time I'm doing it. Mommy will do it tomorrow.

You're tired, aren't you?

Yes, a bit.

- Why don't we take a little holiday? - Is it that obvious?

- No. - Well...

I think it'd do you good.

The only time I baby-sat the kids they wanted to kill me.

Everyone needs a break, Giulia.

Remember our trip to Ireland?

It was great! We hired a car and went all over.

Was that ten years ago?

No, more than that. Camilla's 13.

We didn't speak a word of English.

Only during the day.

In the evening, after four beers, we were totally fluent.

We should do it again.

Yeah, right... but how can I?

Carlo's no longer travelling for work, he can be here.

He can spend time with his kids,

for 10 years he only saw them at weekends.

Oh God, that's Bianca!

I remember coming here when I stabbed you in the hand with a pencil.

And when you pushed me down the stairs.

I didn't push you, you lost your balance.

I wish I'd made Bianca go to hospital.

Dad stole a special childhood moment from me.

- Are you nuts? - Hush, or he'll know it's us.

I still can't work out what happened, the changing table has sides...

I didn't do anything. She just threw herself off.

Honey, why did you do that? You gave us a fright.

I don't understand.

You were on your phone.

That's not true.

I took it out because it was bothering me during Operation Diaper.

- Let's go. - Diaper.

- Why do you lie? - You want to know the truth?

- No video games for you tonight. - Yeah, right...

What are you reading?

Nice.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

No, come on, tell me.

I'm tired.

I've always said we needed a full-time babysitter.

You're the one who decided...

to give up work and stay at home.

Yes, but I don't know why you're bringing that up now.

It wasn't an easy decision, like you think.

There's no point having kids

then having a stranger raise them.

I agree.

I'm just saying it's normal to be tired.

I work all day too and I'm tired.

Yes, but you love your job.

Don't you love what you do too?

Don't you like being with the kids?

Yes, Carlo. I'm just saying that I'm tired.

I get it.

Fine, whatever...

Whatever?

Nothing...

We had Camilla...

Then to give Camilla a brother, we had Tito.

Then to give Tito a sister, we had Bianca.

And so?

So by thinking that way, it's never-ending.

I'm just saying. I'm fine with it...

But you can't moan about it now.

Ouch!

- So it's my fault we have three kids? - You'll wake the kids up.

I didn't say it was your fault. Stop being over-dramatic.

Don't you think I want to spend more time with the kids?

- Honestly? - Yes.

I don't think so.

- No? - No.

Once you've done the school run, you have loads of free time.

You can go to the movies, meet friends, relax.

I'd love to swap places with you.

- Really? - Yes.

You'd love to swap places with me?

Of course.

Yes.

Free time, entire days...

to be able...

to relax.

Okay.

How about a quickie to de-stress?

No...

Goodnight.

How come I'm not allowed to say anything, or let off steam?

If I do, I'm spoilt.

I didn't say you were spoilt.

Where are you going?

What's going on?

Nothing, your mom's hungry so she's making a sandwich.

- With her pillow? - Yes.

For the filling...

Come on, Sherlock Holmes, get to bed. You too.

To bed, now!

What were they arguing about?

Nothing, everyone argues sometimes.

You're even uglier at night.

In one year, 95% of the cells in our bodies

die and are replaced.

In just 365 days, the body re-builds itself.

For better or for worse, depending on how we treat it.

That's why I feel so responsible about our food products.

Those who shop with us

will have new bodies in one year.

Entirely built by us, we could say.

The way I see it, our customers and our supermarkets

are like one big living organism.

I'm glad you see it that way. That's an accurate observation.

Can I do an impulsive gesture?

To show you how eager I am to embody your teachings?

That depends.

Now thanks to your dead skin,

part of your DNA is inside me.

Thank you.

Come in.

The video you requested is here. Ready?

Yes.

- Come, Miguel. - Hello.

You too come and watch it.

- May I watch it too? - No.

- What did she steal? - Three butterfly screws.

- Thanks, you can go. - Goodbye.

I'll give her a formal warning.

Is that all?

- What do you mean? - That doesn't seem very much.

It's not just about the screws. This is a betrayal of our company's trust.

In fact, it's worse than that.

It's an attack on that which you described as

"one big living organism".

It like having your hair or fingernails pulled out, it hurts.

Well...

we'll detract the cost of the screws and suspend her for two days.

For four days.

Eight days and a fine.

Two weeks, and a disciplinary hearing.

- And a fine. - Really?

Suspension, a police report and a month off work.

In fact,

I'd fire her.

Excellent.

Prepare her dismissal letter.

Tito, your plate.

Camilla, no rats or phones at the table.

Here, use this to eat with.

Did you get your Italian and Maths test back?

Yes or no?

Honey, put that knife down!

It's dangerous, you'll hurt yourself.

Tito! Don't get me started.

So, how did your tests go?

- I got 80% right. - Great!

Yes, 80% total for both. 40% in each subject.

- Butt out, godammit! - Hey!

Don't use that language. It that true?

- You got 40%? - Yes.

- How come? - Dunno.

Carlo...

- Carlo! Did you hear that? - No, sorry.

I haven't had a very good day at the office.

You can't do this. You always poke your nose in.

You need to butt out!

I've something to tell you.

I'm going to Cuba with my sister for 10 days.

Listen up!

At last.

I'm going to Cuba for 10 days with Auntie Caterina.

- What? - When?

I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon.

You're going to Cuba tomorrow? Are you kidding?

She found a last minute deal. Really cheap tickets.

I see, you're going to Cuba for 10 days? I have to work.

Who'll look after us?

- Daddy. - Daddy?

Because Daddy made you cross last night?

Of course not!

Of course that's why.

- It's my fault she's abandoning us? - I'm not abandoning you.

I'm just going on a 10-day trip with my sister.

Unbelievable!

- Salad, anyone? - No.

Please yourselves.

I'm going to my room.

You always say you'd love to swap places with me. Now's your chance.

It's not me I'm worried about, but you.

Do you think it's sensible to go away

leaving three kids, when one's illiterate...

one's training to be a terrorist and the other's in full-on teenage mode?

- I'm asking you. - I won't be gone forever.

If Tito gets arrested and Camilla turns to drugs, don't blame me.

Okay.

When I get back, if Camilla's on drugs and Tito's in jail, I won't blame you.

Why are you doing this?

To prove that I can't cope on my own, that without you, everything stops?

I don't want to prove anything.

After 13 years, I want a holiday.

So I'm going away with my sister for 10 days.

10 days? You said one week.

No, I said 10 days. You weren't listening.

My mother would never have done this.

- I don't give a damn. - Fine.

Fine, just fine.

How about a quickie to de-stress?

No, come on...

All right, if you insist.

It's good to know you still have a soft spot.

Tito!

I don't want you to leave.

It's only for a few days.

- That's not true, Dad said so. - What did Dad say?

That women of a certain age go to Cuba,

find handsome young men,

start sipping cocktails and then they have more babies.

That's not true, Tito.

Your mom is just a bit tired and she needs a break.

I'll be gone 10 days, you can count them down here.

This is the day I'll be back.

- How will I cope without you? - Okay, I love you.

I love you.

- Can you bring me a present? - That depends. What do you want?

- A combat drone. - Sure.

- When I get back, we'll cut your hair. - No.

Sipping cocktails and having babies.

- Are you nuts? - Hey! Why?

Do you think it's sensible to tell Tito that his mom's involved in sex tourism?

I told him some women do it, I didn't mention you.

- Come downstairs, we need to talk. - Close the door.

These are the kids' activities.

- Did you do that? - Yes.

- So it'll be easier. - Yes, are you listening?

Yes.

Take Bianca to nursery, pick up the dry cleaning then go to Tito's school.

After that, pick up Camilla and her friend from their music lesson.

Then Camilla has a dental appointment. She goes by herself, you just need to pay.

Meanwhile, Tito's will be doing football.

So maybe give Camilla the money and she can pay.

Right.

Okay, I hope I'll remember everything.

Honey, that's just Monday.

Tuesday's a bit more complicated because it starts at six.

- Is that Tuesday? - Yes.

- All that... - Yes.

Mommy's going away, but not for long. You'll be with Daddy, okay?

No, Mommy.

The menu for the week is on the fridge for Dolores.

- Show it to her. - Okay.

Set time limits for Camilla on her phone and Tito on the PlayStation.

You'll be tempted not to because you'll have some peace and quiet.

But don't give in.

They're my kids too. You make them sound like my enemies.

Come here.

- I'll add you to the moms' group chat. - Okay.

And the football one, the music one. What else?

I've added you.

All done.

Relax, have fun and don't worry.

Thank you.

- Be a good girl. - Yes.

Tito. - What's up?

- Stop. - Bye.

- Hello. - Good morning.

Don't worry, everything will be fine.

I know.

To the airport, please.

- Bye! - Bye!

Going somewhere nice?

To Cuba.

I've been there three times. The last time...

Sorry, could we not talk, please?

Okay, no talking.

Are you hungry? Want some juice?

Yes, okay.

Tito, take that off right now and stop shooting.

- I'm going out. - Where to?

- To Maya's. - Who?

- Maya. - When will you be back?

When mom's back, in 10 days.

Are you kidding? No way.

- I'm doing you a favour. - Meaning?

- One less kid, much less stress. - Right...

- But we can't do that. - Bollocks!

Don't speak like that.

One moment, look at the positive side.

We can do stuff together, get to know each other.

- Like what? - I don't know...

- Watch the Inter match. - The Inter match?

Or the Milan match?

I don't give a damn about football. This is going to be hell for you.

You're incapable of looking after three kids on your own, that's a fact.

What's she saying?

Let's go get some juice.

Tito, take that thing off.

Die.

Take that thing off and stop shooting.

Here we go!

Time for school, wake up!

Come on, Tito.

Bianca, don't paint on there.

I didn't get that.

Camilla! Wake up! Get out of bed!

Wake up!

- Are you nuts? - Good morning.

- You can't come into my room. - I just have.

It's a beautiful day!

I'm not a plant that needs to photosynthesize.

You're a girl that needs to go to school. Come on, get up!

Bianca, stop painting on the wall.

Is it here? Camilla, is this the right way?

I think so.

- Don't you know where your school is? - How come you don't know?

- Is it here on the right? - Yes.

- Sorry. - What a dork!

Sorry.

Bianca, repeat after me.

What a dork.

Tito!

Bianca, don't repeat that. Erase it.

- Hello. May I? - Here's Bianca with her daddy!

Good morning. Hi, Bianca.

Pleased to meet you.

I bet Bianca's told you all about me!

Never mind.

Well, here you are. Thanks and good luck.

- You can't leave. - Why?

- Bianca's not settled in yet. - I'm sorry to hear that.

This means you need to stay with her until she's nice and calm.

She'll never be nice and calm.

Actually, today she is very calm. It's a miracle.

Usually she's screaming, but not today.

So I'd like to leave while she's nice and calm.

- No? - No.

Okay, just for a few minutes then.

- Shall we draw something? - Let's settle you in.

Open your hand, make it dance around

Open it, close it, move it around

All settled in now. Can I go, honey?

- No. - No.

Open your hand, make it dance around

Open it, close it, move it around

Bianca.

Please, can I go?

- No. - No?

When the starch in the pasta has not yet been soaked up by the water,

that's where you taste the goodness,

the flavour of the wheat.

Come in.

May I? Sorry.

- Good morning. - Good morning. Hi.

Taste this.

- It's not cooked. - That's right.

- You're late. - Yes, I'm sorry.

I had to take my daughter to nursery.

- We're settling her in. - Good.

Husbands shouldn't delegate everything to their wives.

Otherwise kids grow up confused,

and unbalanced, too reliant on their mothers.

All vagina and no balls.

What are your kids like?

A mix, a bit of both.

A bit vagina, and a bit...

My wife and I have always done everything together, even the breast-feeding.

I dread to think where the milk came out from.

- Leave us alone. - Gladly.

- How's it going? - Very well, thanks.

Carlo, you know this is an important time for Family Market,

with the restructuring of the company and the Chinese investment.

Yes, I know.

I hope you haven't taken your foot off the pedal

since you came back to work at HQ after all these years.

That you see it as a final destination, the end of a journey.

No, of course not.

I feel more motivated.

And does Alessandro's presence motivate you too?

Yes, but we still need to build a good rapport.

Why? The world hasn't made progress thanks to good rapports.

Progress happens thanks to competition.

So Alessandro and I are competing against each other?

The king of the pride is challenged by younger lions. It's natural.

Yes, but we're not in a savannah.

Says who? This is my company.

I'll decide whether it's a circus, an ant-hill or Ken and Barbie's house.

- Or a savannah. - Well...

Do you want to be Ken or a lion?

Well, if you put it that way...

Ken doesn't even have genitals, right?

- Right. - Show me your fighting spirit, Carlo.

I know you have it.

I do, I do.

- Off you go. - Yes, goodbye.

I sent you the homework, Simone's mom!

Dolores.

Dolores, sorry.

Are you hurt? Don't move.

I was fond of Dolores.

I didn't kill her.

I just hit her gently.

Poor thing, she already had a limp.

Well, I hit her good leg.

So now she'll limp with both.

And her swagger will balance out!

Let's go upstairs, Ascanio.

Slow down, boys... or you'll hurt yourselves on the stairs.

- What time was I born? - Why?

For my horoscope reading.

I remember perfectly well that it was night.

And that's all.

Sorry, I don't remember the time. But it was after dinner.

I need the time.

4:22.

- Did you make that up? - Yes.

Can I just say something? Can't you put stuff away?

After breakfast, put things back. We have to help each other.

Help, dad! They're going to kill me.

- Help! - Tito!

He's going to kill me!

- He's coming. - Tito!

Tito!

Oh God, Tito!

Are you nuts?

We were doing an ambush.

I get that.

But he shattered my teeth.

I didn't know your teeth would break.

You whacked me right in the face!

What was the aim of the game?

He was already dead. Wasn't that enough fun?

Did you have to smash my teeth out too, Giorgio?

I'm not Giorgio, I'm Ascanio. Sorry.

- Where's Giorgio? - We argued so I invited Ascanio over.

The plan says Giorgio was supposed to come.

- So where's Giorgio? - At the playing field.

Where's Giorgio?

There he is.

Hi.

Are you Giorgio?

Come back! Giorgio!

Stop, I'm Tito's dad.

Stop! I'm Tito's dad.

- I'm Tito's dad. - Okay.

Your face looked weird. I thought you were a pervert.

Of course. Sorry.

Let's go home.

- Are you Giorgio? - Yes.

Okay.

They'll be ready in two days? I have no front teeth.

I have a meeting tomorrow. I can't go with no front teeth.

I'm lisping, can't you hear?

Okay, I'll wait two days then.

Sorry for asking. Goodbye.

I'll wait then.

Just my luck.

What a day!

What's that?

Die, you bastard!

Die.

No, I'm unarmed.

I'll do karate.

Don't kill me!

No, I'm outnumbered.

I'm dying.

I'm dying.

- What a dork! - You mean "donkey".

No, I mean dork.

Donkey.

- Let's go. - I was curious.

I wanted to check out these new headsets.

Apparently they're super dangerous.

My tummy's killing me!

Honey, don't draw on the wall.

Let me through.

Tito, come out.

I'm not feeling well. Last night's ravioli were off.

Ravioli never go off.

Sell-by dates are used to increase sales. Come on, hurry up.

- Dad. - What is it?

- I need to talk to Mom. - We'll Skype her later.

I tried, she's not answering.

I know.

- What is it? Tell me, but quickly. - I need to talk to her.

Okay, but you're too reliant on your mother.

Talk to me, it's the same thing.

You look horrid without teeth.

I know, I'm getting new ones tomorrow. Go on.

My tummy hurts.

Your mum bought some ravioli that were off.

To save money.

It started.

- What? - My period.

Honey, that's impossible.

You're still a kid, you're mistaken.

Dad, I'm 13 and I've got blood on my knickers.

My little girl!

Don't worry, it's normal.

The caterpillar bleeds then turns into a butterfly.

- Everything's fine. - Cut it out!

Okay, sorry.

You're feeling grouchy, right? That happens with periods.

It seems like only yesterday you learned to ride your bike.

- What the hell are you saying? - Sorry, you're right.

I could go on for hours, but I need a shit. We'll talk later.

He can't cope, Mom. And he doesn't want to either.

He's always grumpy and stressed.

Don't he so harsh, it's not easy for him.

- Plus he works full-time. - That's no excuse.

My friends' dads work full-time but they're not like him.

H's not an excuse.

It's not easy intake on a mom's role just like that.

- He's useless as a dad too. - Camilla, I can't hear you.

Is that your mom? At last!

Hi.

- What happened to your teeth? - “smug.

I got whacked in the face by Ascanio, Tito's friend.

But I'm fine.

- Some of your teeth are missing. - Yes, just the two front ones.

They were crowns anyway, I'll just get replacements.

What's Cuba like? Did you ask her?

Yes, we're fine. Enjoying the sea, all day long.

Sounds like heaven. I'm so envious!

Everything's fine here. No need to worry.

- Really? - Yes, yes.

I'm still getting used to the schedule.

But it's great spending time with the kids. Right, honey?

- Camilla, can} have a word with Dad? - Yes.

- Bye, honey. - Bye.

Bye.

Carlo, are you sure everything's okay?

Yes, of course.

You're toothless and Camilla told me that you ran Dolores over.

I just hit her gently. It was no big deal...

I blame those wretched moms on that WhatsApp group chat.

It's like having a cricket in your brain.

- Carlo? - Yes?

- Do you want me to come home? - No, are you nuts?

I'll send you the number for the agency that found Dolores, they're good.

Find someone to cover these 8 days. Actually, HI do it.

I love you.

What?

I love you. I love you.

Love you too. Everything1! he fine.

Yes, yes.

- Bye. - Bye, have fun.

Don't close it!

- Too late. - Too late? Will you open up?

- I can't. - Why?

- There's a strike today, school's closed. - What?

So you just close without warning?

They sent a WhatsApp text. Do you have WhatsApp?

- You have a nice smile. - That's very kind.

It runs in the family.

What am I supposed to do with him today?

How about I take him? After all, I only have four kids.

You can't catch me...

Let's go.

I can't do this job anymore. It's becoming too dangerous.

Fun fair?

Nonsense! You're coming to work with me.

What a drag!

How can I go in looking like this?

The joke shop sells fake ones.

- Fake what? - Teeth.

I saw them with mom one day. They have all sorts.

They don't look bad.

I can't go to work like this.

I need something more ordinary, less jagged.

- Bye, Joe. - See you at Vicious tonight.

See you there. Bye.

- Bye, Berta. - Goodbye.

How about these rabbit ones?

They look very rabitty on kids.

But maybe as your mouth is bigger, they'll be less noticeable.

Try them.

- Great. - Really?

- You look good. - Really?

What is it?

- I want that. - No, you're not getting a cop's uniform.

But it looks great on me.

I can't buy you a cop's uniform.

You tell him too.

You look great together.

A young cop and an elderly rabbit.

- Please! - I said no!

Tito, don't let me down.

What do you mean?

Nothing, let's go.

Good morning.

Sorry.

Darling, I have to go to a meeting next door.

You stay here, don't move.

You can watch some cartoons on my computer. Okay?

But stay here.

Here she is! This is Adele.

This is Tito, my son. Could you please...

- What is it? - Nothing.

- You're staring at me. - I'm not!

Could you look after my son?

Yes! He looks sweet.

He is, but don't let your guard down.

Keep your distance, if you can. He can be very dangerous.

- Really? - Trust me.

Darling, I'm going. Bye.

What are these XXX videos?

What the...

That's boring, grown-up stuff, to do with politics.

Watch some cartoons instead. Bye.

- What's a MILF? - Nothing, just political stuff.

It's a trade union name.

You know... IGCL, MILF...

Goodbye.

Our employees with short-term contracts need to understand.

Long-term contracts have negative aspects.

"Long-term" suggests a pre-planned future,

with no hope, no dreams.

Sorry.

Certainty about the future is a destabilizing, negative thing.

What's the only certainty we have about the future?

- Death. - Exactly.

Whereas short-term contracts represent life.

It's the category for those who desire contractual immortality.

Thank you.

Now let's look at the figures relating to long-term contracts.

You have those, right Carlo?

- Yes. - Pardon?

- Have your teeth got bigger? - No, I changed my hairstyle.

So my face looks longer.

Or maybe it just seems that way.

Mr Rovelli, can you come please? Your son made something explode.

- Excuse me. Where? - Next door.

Where?

Excuse me.

Come on, in we go!

Come on.

Tito, go and get changed.

Can I eat with my uniform on?

No, in your civvies.

In your civvies.

In your civvies.

What's happened here?

I made a soffritto with shallots and onions.

- Hi, dad. - Hi, darling.

- Hello. - Hello.

Nice to meet you, I'm Lucia.

- The agency sent me. - Hello.

I'm Carlo, this is Bianca. You've met my daughter.

- What's up with your teeth? - We went to a joke shop.

Seeing I'm getting my new teeth tomorrow,

I couldn't attend a meeting with no front teeth.

They don't look bad. You look like Mariano.

A friend of Tito's, my son...

whacked me in the face with a baseball bat.

Crikey. Sorry to hear that.

Shall I take her?

Would you like that? There, let the nanny take you.

- Good girl! - Hi, honey.

Don't worry, leave everything to me.

Okay, I'll just go and...

Excuse me.

Sorry to bother you.

No, I'm sorry. I had a terrible day at work today.

I can imagine. I've finished now.

- Dinner's ready. - Perfect.

Tito and Bianca have had their baths. I'll be back tomorrow.

If we knew each other better, I'd hug you and burst into tears.

But we've only just met, so I'll limit myself to saying thanks seriously.

As seriously as I sound.

Don't worry.

Everything's okay with Camilla, I took her to the chemist's.

Yes, of course...

- For her... "struation", right? - Yes.

May I ask you, have we already met?

Your face looks...

- Yes! - Were you thinking the same?

Yes, when I saw you... You look like my father.

Really? Did he have buck teeth too?

No, you look like him. But he's a jerk.

If you talk to Camilla, you'll see that she thinks the same.

- Well, I'll be off. - Okay.

- Shall I see you out? - Don't worry.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Come in. - You don't look like a rodent anymore.

At least that...

- Here's the file. - Thanks.

Can I close the door for a sec?

Yes.

Make sure you don't give up.

- What do you mean? - With that Alessandro guy!

Hold your ground, I'm on your side.

I'm glad to hear that.

There's nothing to be worried about.

I'm not so sure.

There are rumours going around!

- Rumours? - Yes.

Rumours...

I'm the same as you.

I pretend everything's fine.

I did that with my first husband but it didn't work.

I kept pretending everything was okay and then...

Finish the sentence. What happened?

Where's your wife now?

She's in Cuba on holiday.

Well, yes. She needed...

Come back!

We trust each other, we trust each other a lot.

Camilla.

- Hi. - Hi.

Are you alone?

Yes, Lucia's out with Tito and Bianca.

- What are you doing? - I'm studying. Bye.

Hurry up.

Who's that? Stop!

- Who's that? - Huh?

The boy who sneaked out.

He didn't sneak out. He's shy.

- He's shy? - Yes.

- Who is he? - Marco, a classmate.

Mom knows him.

Well, I don't and your mom's not here.

- I know, you made her run away. - Don't be stupid.

You can't just invite anyone over, you need to tell me.

You need to ask me first.

This is my house too.

He sneaked out like a thief, as if he's hiding something.

- Like what? - I don't know.

You were hiding in your room, you tell me.

Growing up, and at your age especially...

one day you're a little girl,

the next you're an adult.

So? Do you want to know if we kissed?

Are you nuts? No!

I mean, yes. Did you kiss him?

How gross!

Where are you going?

Can't you just talk normally for once without storming off?

Where are you going?

You need to realise that all men are animals, all of them!

Don't ever say I didn't warn you.

All of them, except for your dad, of course.

Yes, come in.

Excuse me.

Thanks for staying a bit longer tonight.

That's no problem.

So, Camilla and I have put the kids to bed.

Now Camilla's studying so everything's fine.

Great.

Have you eaten? Shall I make you dinner?

- No, don't worry! Thanks. - Okay.

I'll go then.

It's late and I need to study.

I didn't know you were a student.

Work's a bit quiet so I thought I'd get some more qualifications.

Have you been a nanny long?

No, just occasionally.

I have another job.

I had.

I used to work at a Family Market store.

But then they dismissed me, unfairly.

Well, I did something silly.

But firing me for something so trivial was heartless.

Well, never mind.

What do you do?

Inna

- You're a lawyer, right? - Yes.

- You have lots of Law books. - Right.

- Law books, that's right. - How cool!

Yes.

Is everything okay?

Yes, yes.

- I'll go then. - I was going to say...

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

- May I? - Yes.

How's it going?

- I don't want to talk about it. - About what?

About Marco.

No, relax, neither do I.

So what is it then?

I was just thinking about something.

- About what? - Lucia's strange, isn't she?

In what way?

Yesterday too, with you...

Your "struation", you know.

- My what? - Your "struation".

She rushed you to the chemist's to get pads.

Straight away, it's a bit much!

Now she's an expert on "struation".

What? Will you stop talking about menstruation? You're obsessed.

Sorry. Menstruation aside...

I'm going to fire Lucia.

I reckon we can manage just fine by ourselves.

Is it because she's young and pretty?

- Is that what you think? - We like her.

- I get that but... - Did she do something wrong?

There's no problem then.

It's a good agency, they've always sent us good nannies.

I'm not saying she's not good.

- So why get rid of her then? - Because...

There's something...

- She looks weird. - Is she ugly?

You think I'd sack her for being ugly?

And anyway, she's very pretty.

- Very pretty? - Yes, if you like that type. She's cute.

- How old is she? - She's really young, must be 25 or 30.

Let's get rid of her. I'll call the agency right now.

No, it's midnight. Everyone's asleep.

Plus Camilla won't approve.

She's decided that she likes her.

So Camilla loves her! Who is she?

No one special.

But now Camilla...

I don't want to argue with her again today.

She invited someone called Marco over, without telling me. Do you know him?

He's her classmate.

If he touches her, I'll kill him.

Stop it. They're 13, what do you think they'll do?

- What did you do when you were 13? - Nothing.

Me neither, I didn't do anything.

That's an understatement.

You were going around with your slutty sister.

Are you dumb?

Hi! Hi!

I knew you were there.

I said it as a joke.

We're going to meet the others for drinks.

Okay, enjoy...

Who are you meeting?

- Don't worry. - Bye, honey.

Who is it? Cuban guys? Hello!

Mr Rovelli!

- Mr Rovelli, good morning. - Good morning.

How's it going with your kids?

Great, it's like Disneyland!

Good, they'll be pleased to come to our Family Day.

- What Family Day? - The one on Saturday, remember?

No, I forgot.

They'll never come to Family Day. They hate it!

For years I've tried to persuade them.

Try harder this time, it's important.

Our boss has invited all the managers and Alessandro has already accepted.

- He has? - Yes.

If I were you, I'd make sure I was there.

I'll make sure I'm there then.

I love this celebration which brings our company and families together.

As you know, I've always liked big families like this one.

I could never be without mine.

Without them, I'd feel lost.

- Lovely! - Great...

Two kids, right? I have three.

Yes, but my wife's expecting.

By the time I'm your age, I'll have a dozen.

My wife won't be able to come.

She's in Cuba, we want to adopt two or maybe three sets of twins.

She's there sorting out the paperwork.

- What a shame! - Yes...

I hope you and your children will come.

Of course.

We talked about it last night. They're super-excited.

Really? What did they say?

They can't wait...

- Hooray for Family Day! - What did they say about me?

Let's all go to Family Day!

When is it?

Tomorrow. Calm down now, kids.

How sweet!

- I don't feel like it. - No video games, you'll go cold-turkey.

Cold-turkey?

Cold-turkey is when you... I'll ban video games.

- Okay? - When is this party?

- On Saturday. - But Camilla will never agree.

- Why? - Marco dumped her today.

- Who's he? - Marco, her "boy".

- Her boyfriend? - Yes.

- Aren't they just friends? - They've been together for 3 months.

Honey, listen here.

You mustn't... Never mind...

- May I? - No.

You can choose. Come out or I'm coming in.

What is it?

Tito told me about Marco. I'm sorry.

- You're a jerk! - Kiss my ass!

Tito!

Do you want to talk about it?

There's nothing to say.

I thought you were just friends.

Will you go away, please?

I hate seeing you like this, it breaks my heart.

If I could, I'd give you a big hug.

Don't you dare.

No, I won't.

But if you want Marco dead,

I'll see to it in a flash.

I'll get Tito to kill him.

I don't want to come to Family Day.

It might take your mind off things.

There'll be loads of handsome, single boys.

I'm joking, come here.

Okay. If you don't want to come, then don't.

- Wake up, Tito! - What is it?

Time for school! Come on!

Please! Don't make me shout, Tito!

Don't tell mom we put your shoes on the bed.

Come on, honey.

Off we go!

Your juice is coming.

There.

- Kids! - Enough.

Enough.

A lovely omelette... which flopped.

But it'll taste nice.

- It's good. - Thanks.

- How's yours? - It's good.

Good. Honey, all good?

What, darling? I didn't understand what you said.

I've got my water.

Okay, I'll come to your work party tomorrow.

Reafly?

Yes, but next time you need something don't act like you're my buddy.

I didn't act like your buddy. I was being your father.

I'm glad you changed your mind.

You're really good!

I wish! No, I've just started.

- How long ago? - 25 years.

Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I've finished so I'm going.

- Can I ask you something? - Yes.

You've done a great job here with us these past few days.

You've been great, especially with the kids.

So I'd like to thank you.

My God, no! I'm just doing my job, thanks.

Yes, it's your job. But I'd really like to.

If there's anything you need, just tell me.

Go on!

I want to sue Family Market for firing me.

And look the person who fired me in the face.

So if you can advise me, as a lawyer...

I could ask for you to be reinstated. Leave me your documents.

Leave it with me, I'll let you know. But not right away, I'm busy.

Of course, of course.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

You're such a kind man. Thank you.

- Sorry. - No, it's no problem.

- I'll leave my documents by the door. - Okay.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye, have a lovely evening.

Mr Rovelli, are you still at home? Hurry up. Everyone's here.

Don't pressure me. I'm making the troop look presentable.

Camilla, will you get that? Sorry.

I'm not pressuring you, but hurry up!

Alessandro's just arrived with his perfect family.

I'll get armed and be right there.

Will you get the door?

Okay, but hurry.

Dry your hair, then we'll go.

- Are you going to rinse it? - No need, you're a big boy.

- Where's the hairdryer? - Coming!

Hello. ls Camilla in? I'm Marco, a friend of hers.

I know who you are. I saw your back the other day, when you scarpered.

Yes, that was me.

Is Camilla in?

Yes, but we're going out. Maybe next time.

Can you tell her I came by?

Why?

So she knows, she'll be happy to hear it.

I doubt that, seeing that you dumped her.

These things happen, it's not easy finding the right chick.

- "Chick"? - I'm gonna go then.

You're "going" to go. Say it correctly.

- Can you tell her I came by? - Yes.

Goodbye.

Come on. It's going to be a great...

- I don't understand what happened. - Nothing.

- Hi, guys. - Hi!

Hi, Tito.

I left my ID card here yesterday with my documents.

Can you take Bianca?

Go with your sister.

- Come in. - Thanks.

So, your documents. Your ID card.

I wanted to talk to you about that thing you mentioned yesterday.

- About me getting reinstated. - It may be possible, maybe.

Well, just the thought of going back there makes me feel...

It makes me feel sick. I just want them to pay.

"Family Market Italy - Business of the Year Award 2018"

Here it is.

I knew they had to be somewhere.

- Do you work for Family Market? - What?

Do you work for Family Market?

Let me explain... Yes, I do work there, but...

- So you're not a lawyer... - Yes, I'm...

No.

I'm not a lawyer.

I'm the HR manager.

My God!

What an idiot!

Don't be so harsh on yourself. You didn't know.

No, you're the idiot!

You're an idiot and a bastard!

That's right, I fired you over three screws.

Was I wrong to do that? Yes, maybe I exaggerated.

But you were the one who stole something.

Now you're trying to make me out to be a bastard.

For three screws!

It's a cruel world, but you need to learn how to survive.

Next time you feel like stealing, check there's no CCTV.

You know something?

You need to learn something about this cruel world too.

Do you know what your kids think of you?

You should install CCTV here too.

Give me my ID card, please.

Here we are, ready to go.

- What was wrong with Lucia? - What?

- What was wrong with Lucia? - Nothing. Why?

- She was crying. - How strange!

But we need to stay focused on having fun.

- Tito and I are ecstatic. - Good! Get in the car!

Let's go to Family Day!

Let's act like a proper family.

- That'll be hard, without Mom. - I was just saying.

Right, for you it's easy, you'll just replace her.

- What are you saying? - Never mind.

Tito, there will be some games.

If you lose, don't throw a hissy fit and don't swear.

I never lose.

I'll be making some jokes, to show that I'm witty.

Make sure you laugh and smile...

So we have to playact?

Correct. The play is called "How much I love Dad".

Hello, Adele.

Come on, concentrate.

Number one!

One!

Come on, go!

- Four. - Go!

Tito, go get it!

Okay, come on.

- Number two! - That's me!

- Sorry! - Sorry, my foot!

Come on!

Come on!

With all the sport you do, you should have quicker reflexes.

You're like a pair of pensioners!

If we win at human bowling, we can play again.

What's human bowling?

- Dad. - Yes?

In the end, it was a good thing that Mom went away.

We spent more time with you and got to know you better.

- Good. - You're always stressed...

So we think you deserve a holiday too.

For me, these days with you have been...

Well... almost like a holiday.

- Tito, unhook the net. - Okay.

What net? Let me out.

Send us a postcard.

- Get Lucia to sign it too. - What's Lucia got to do with it?

I saw you two today.

I know I was wrong, but it was her fault too.

- You make me sick. - What?

- Have a good trip. - No.

What? No! No! No!

Help!

Help!

Move! Get out of the way!

Help!

Sorry!

I'll end up in the water!

It's a dog, colour it.

You can colour it green or red. Don't you like it?

I can't understand you. But never mind.

Wait a minute.

- Hello? - Hello, Mr Rovelli. Is it a bad time?

Hello, Adele. No, it's fine. What is it?

The boss wants to see you on Monday at 5:00 p.m.

is that okay?

I need to leave at 4:30 p.m. to go and collect Bianca.

Won't think I can change the time.

No? Well, I'll manage somehow. Thanks.

I wanted to say that I'm sorry about today.

Don't worry, these things happen.

I'm sure it's not the first time someone runs over their boss with a giant ball.

I know, these things happen. But all the same, I'm on your side.

Thanks. See you on Monday.

Hi. What are you doing?

Nothing, I was just looking through some old memories.

- Sorry about today, we went too far. - You think so?

- I thought you were having an affair. - Come on, really?

I know, a girl like her would never choose you.

But what you did to her really wasn't very nice.

I know. I made a mistake.

4:22.

So you did remember.

Obviously there's a pan of me that,

unbeknownst to me, still functions.

I've missed you these past few years.

That's the nicest and most horrible thing you've ever said to me.

Come here.

Coming.

Hello.

Hello.

I need to have a quick word. May I come in?

Yes, I was just making some...

May I?

Come on in.

Sorry, I was cooking.

- Nice place. - Thanks.

My grandma left it to me. I know it looks like a mountain chalet.

But it's sweet.

It's very cosy considering it's an illegal construction.

Listen, I...

Why are you here?

To apologise and to help you, if you'll let me.

I know lots of people.

I could give you some contacts.

You're smart and clever.

I want to help you.

I needed them to fix Fillppo's toy.

- Do you have kids? - Yes, one.

I didn't know.

- There he is! Cute. - Yes.

Well, he looks like a skinny gerbil but he's nice.

Sorry, I can't resist.

It's fixed.

There's someone who I want to thank and congratulate

for showing determination.

And for having a healthy desire to excel,

but always with clear-headedness.

Alessandro.

Carlo, despite Saturday's incident...

nobody is forgetting or doubting your professionalism.

You've achieved so much in these past 15 years, here.

As from today you will be the deputy manager of HR.

- Let's go home. - Pardon?

I said "deputy manager".

Not you.

Good girl.

Shower.

- She said "shower". - Carlo...

- Umbrella. - "Umbrella", right?

That's an umbrella. I understood what you said.

Who am I?

- Daddy! - Daddy.

Daddy!

Daddy! She said "daddy".

That's me. I'm her daddy.

Carlo, if you're not interested you can always leave.

Let's go home.

- Yes! - Listen...

- She said: "Let's go home". - Go outside to play.

Don't show your face in here again.

- Let's go. - Let's go. Excuse me.

We're going.

Shutter.

- "Shutter" - Perfect. Excuse me.

- Goodbye. - Bye.

- Dog. Bye. - Dog.

- You have a "computel". - A computer, you see?

We'll take this.

My photo of my darling.

I'll miss you.

Adele.

You've always called me "sir", but there's no need.

"Sir" doesn't really suit me. Just call me Carlo.

You've always called me Adele, but my name's Matilde.

Like my mother's name.

- Nice name, tell her I said so. - She's dead, but...

Shall we go, honey? One, two, three.

Upsy-daisy! Here we go.

I can have those things sent to you.

Great! Thanks.

Say: "Bye, Adele".

- Bye, Bianca. - We're going home.

- Well, goodbye, sir. - Goodbye, Adele.

Say bye.

- Say bye. - Bye, Bianca.

Tito, take that thing off. Mom's coming back today.

I don't want her to find you suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

- Honey, did I knock into you? - No, "tanks".

Bianca was so good at the office today.

I understood everything she said. She said plenty of words.

What did you say today? Dog.

- Dog. Rabbit. - Rabbit.

Crash bar.

"Clash" bar.

- She also said: "Umbrella". - "Umbella".

Sausage. Plenty of words.

I'm sorry, dad. Sorry.

I should get fired more often.

How gross!

Hey, come here.

Now.

Come here.

- Hola! - Here she is! At last!

- You've grown so much. - Have we?

- Have I grown too? - Loads.

Mommy!

Hi, mommy.

How are you?

Look, we're making a cake.

- It's a ball. - A ball.

- What are you making? - A jam tart.

- Really? - Yes!

I'm making it too.

Bianca and I are making a jam tart. With lemon zest.

- Are you doing your homework? - Yes.

This is a joke, tell me the truth.

Did you expect a disaster?

- No, but... - You should trust me.

- We're a crazy family! - Honey!

Well, this is the perfect time for me to tell you something.

- I want to go back to work. - No!

- Back to work? - Yes.

- Okay. - Well, if you insist.

I've already got a client for you.

A young girl who was unfairly dismissed from herjob.

- Your kind of case. - Okay.

Great, Mom, be the breadwinner. Dad got fired.

- What? - He got fired.

- Carlo? - Yes.

He means that... I got fired. But it's not a problem.

- I've had an idea. We'll talk later. - Daddy got "filed".

Hold on.

If you go back to work, who'll look after us?

- Me!� - Dad!