Original subtitles

You know what you are, Chooch?

You're a little fart.

I bend over backwards to teach you the business so that we could be known as

Bambalazi and Son.

And that could be you.

What am I doing this for? For my health?

You think I suggested you get involved in murder or drugs or robbery?

What are we talking about here? Gambling, whores, the victimless crimes.

Ain't you got no respect for the family?

You don't want to listen. You don't want to learn.

Well, now you're going to learn to listen and learn.

Ah, Kevin.

Richard's gone to the airport. Make sure he gets there okay, all right?

God be with you, Eisenhower MacArthur.

Say goodbye to your stepmother.

We just dashed the grass.

It's in your diaphragm case.

We wouldn't want to see you miss your plane, son.

I'll miss you, Eisenhower.

God will comfort you in my son's absence, Nubia.

But not in the same way your son does.

The Lord will look after him, precious lady.

When Eisenhower returns to the fold, perhaps he'll be a stronger person,

to the Holy Spirit, instead of just a jive -ass nigger.

I will try, my mother. Come on, hurry.

It just seems to me that the son of the mayor of one of the most respectable

towns in Michigan should at least know the meaning of the word rubber,

especially in an election year.

Candy and I love each other, Dad. We want to do the right thing.

Don't worry, son.

You will.

You will.

Looking for good time If everyone would stay away We'd get along

just fine Every time that she cares Harry likes to tell us what to

do We've had it up to here And we don't want it from you

For some kicks, baby, that's us.

Kick it up a fuss.

From the second.

Let's get some of the fuss.

Yeah, man, that's us.

Kick it up a fuss.

From the tail of the board.

This one behind you, right?

They like us to be quiet boys with mass attention.

We never had much cop to that. Just acting what we feel.

Just a lesson to be learned.

They say they want to teach, but maybe that's what learning is. They

practice what they preach. It's baby, that's us.

Kick it up a butt.

From the second we stepped off of the bus.

Yeah, man, that's us.

Kick it off for fun.

From the day I was born, this was yonkin' fun.

lie to you men and tell you it's going to be easy.

Nobody's going to roll over for you out there.

The Krauts didn't roll over for us when we stormed the beaches of Normandy, but

we still kicked their asses.

And you know why we beat those bastards?

Because we were there.

And we were there because we were ready.

And we were ready because we were trained.

And any son of a bitch who thinks he can do a job without being trained is a son

of a bitch. I don't want him in the trenches with me because he's going to

me killed.

And he's going to get my men killed.

I know most of you are scared shitless, and you have a right to be.

They don't call me old blood and vinegar for nothing.

That's right.

And if you don't want to be a man, if you don't want to cut the mustard, you

might as well crawl out of here right now with your tail between your legs

because we don't want... you.

Are you?

Are you?

Thank you, Commandant Causeway, for

that inspiring opening message.

Oh, sir.

Feinberg forever we will cherish.

Wienberg forever, for all eternity.

The countryside from far and wide sing praises to her fame.

Everybody can be great. They can't be rich without the war. That can't be

pleasure. That ain't above all order. Must remain.

Yeah, man, that's us.

Kicking up a fuss.

From the day I was born, this was the only I can trust.

Oh, life has got a number.

Yeah, it smells like jockstraps in here.

What a dunk.

You mean there's no color to you? All right, you bearish rats.

Shape up and get your gear stored, and he'll be right in.

Who'll be right in?

Ooh, Leisman.

Who's Leisman? Who cares?

My name's Oliver Holton. I'm from Michigan.

It's not my fault.

Eisenhower, McCarthy.

Is that a history lesson or a name?

Is your father in the Army?

No. He's a sadist. Why else would he give me this name?

Just call me Ike.

Hash. No thanks, man. Maybe after dinner.

No, my name is Hash.

It's easier to say than El Hashid Amir Jr.

It's easier to smoke, dear.

Don't you think so?

I'm taking his top bunk. Anybody got any objections?

Sorry, I didn't catch your name.

I didn't throw it.

Well, hold on a second.

Since there are only three top monks, why don't we draw straws? You know, make

it democratic.

Draw this.

Hey, watch it.

Take it easy.

If we're going to be living together, we have got to try and get along.

Let me tell you guys something. As far as I'm concerned, we're not living

together. See, I'm by myself. I don't want to be here. I just want to do my

work, mind my own business, and get out of here when my time is up, all right?

Welcome,

gentlemen. My name is Major Vaughn Leisman.

And I'd like us all to be friends.

Weinberg can be a very lonely place if you don't have friends.

I know.

I was seven years old when I first came to the academy.

I didn't have any friends.

Nobody liked me.

Whose bunk is this now?

Mine.

Don't you mean mine, sir?

Yes, sir. Say it again.

Mine, sir. Say it again.

Mine, sir.

Say it again.

Mine, sir. But as the years rolled by, I learned how to get along with people by

doing what was asked of me.

By living up to the code of the academy.

And by putting my trust in my superiors.

And pretty soon, everybody liked me.

Now, suffice it to say, the saddest day of my life was the day I graduated from

the academy.

And I was never really happy again until I returned here to assume my duties as

assistant to the commandant.

Oh, yeah.

I forgot.

I did have a few brief moments of satisfaction in Vietnam, where I was

enough to serve my country to the fullest extent of my capabilities. That

lie.

Well, by and large, Weinberg is where I belong.

And in a sense, Weinberg belongs to me. Is something wrong with you both?

No, it's just a little chilly in here.

Don't you mean it's just a little chilly in here, sir?

Yes, sir. Well, say it!

It's just a little chilly in here, sir. Say it again.

It's just a little chilly in here, sir. Say it again.

It's just a little chilly in here, sir. That's what I thought you meant. Anyway,

gentlemen, I truly believe that this semester can be a very pleasant

for all of us if you just obey the rules.

Because if you don't, I'm going to find out about it.

And then I won't be able to be your friend anymore.

Because whatever you do...

Wherever you go, whatever you're thinking,

I'll be watching you.

Looking out for your better interests.

Because after all, that's what friends are for.

Now.

You take these candlesticks here, for instance. I do not think they belong in

there. Now, do the pun jab.

They were a gift from my uncle, sir. You pick them up. Yes, sir.

I hear the cat she's stealing again, boy. I'm going to rip your balls off.

Fair enough, sir. Say it again. Fair enough, sir. Say it again.

Fair enough, sir.

Gentlemen, it's getting late.

Once again, welcome to Weinberg.

Get a good night's sleep tonight.

Pleasant dreams.

Doing the best I can, Sergeant Petty.

He didn't mean it when he said he wanted to be friends.

No shit.

Dear Candy, I've been thinking of you every minute since I got here, but this

the first chance I've had to write.

This place sucks.

Orientation week is over, and tomorrow we start classes.

My dad says if I try and see you again or do anything to screw up his election,

I don't get the new car for my birthday. And I never get to go home.

So if we ever want to see each other again, we have to be careful.

I miss you so much and want to see you very badly.

Love, Oliver.

P .S. I think I can get rubbers.

I wrote the candy over a week ago. Why hasn't she written me back?

She probably has.

But you gotta be patient. It takes a long time for a letter to be delivered

health.

This letter arrived for you a couple, three days ago.

I just got around to opening it.

You opened my mail?

You opened my mail, sir.

Yes, sir. That's what I meant, sir. Thank you for correcting me, sir. It's

your girlfriend.

Thank you again, sir.

Now, just don't try it.

Don't try what, sir? Leaving campus to see her.

I couldn't do that, sir. She's halfway across the country.

No, she's not.

Your girlfriend has been enrolled...

At a girl's military school in the area.

The Mildred S. Butch Academy?

That's not far from here, sir.

But it's off limits to you, boy.

Yes, sir. You just remember that.

I will, sir.

Now, sir.

Had I not been your friend. You have been my friend, sir. Say it again.

You have been my friend, sir. Say it again.

You have been my friend, sir. Say it again.

You have been my friend, sir. Good enough.

Now.

The rest. The letters, just a bunch of lovey -dovey bullshit.

Tell her to stop that, sir.

Doesn't matter to me, boy. It's your mail.

All right, gentlemen.

Moving right along.

In this course, you'll become familiar with a number of basic field weapons,

such as... The one I'm holding, the M1 Recallless Semi -Automatic Rifle,

used by the U .S. Army Infantry.

We'll become familiar with the hand grenade.

Metal, rounded, incendiary device, which, when properly activated, will

cause a small explosion.

And, of course, the 135mm mortar.

This hard...

cylindrical, blunt -ended artillery shell, smooth to the touch, but highly

explosive when shoved into the chamber and fired.

Any questions?

homework, do you mind?

It's Ike's father.

Hey, it's okay. What are you trying to find on that map?

The Mildred S. Butch Academy.

My girl's there.

Don't try it. Leisman will catch you.

Only if you tell him.

Shorts collection.

Beg your pardon, sir?

I was just on my way to the laundry. Why don't you slip out of your little

undershorts?

Okay? Thanks anyway, sir, but we're going to do our laundry tomorrow.

See you in ballroom.

Dear Reverend Pop, caught your act on the radio today.

I hope the record sales are good.

Oh, I also met your friend the devil. His name is Leisman.

And you're right. He is white.

I'm sorry about your divorce, but I'm looking forward to meeting my new

stepmother. I hope she's as friendly as Nubia.

Today I auditioned for the soccer team.

You should have seen me.

Even the coach was astounded.

He even said I was a credit to my race.

You're a disgrace to niggas the world over!

He also said that I'm in a class by myself and shouldn't even be on the same

field with the others.

Now get on that bench and write yourself a letter, because that's the only

letter you're going to get from this academy!

Yes, sir. Move it!

Well, see you on Parents' Day.

Your son, Eisenhower.

And for this, I gave up being white.

In exactly 29 days, at 1 ,400 hours, during

parents' weekends,

there will come the annual Sheldon R. Weinberg Memorial Faculty Student Soccer

Game.

I'll be playing for the faculty, and I'll be playing to win.

And I might add, the faculty has never lost.

And I'm sure none of you think this will be the first time.

Couldn't tell who did it, sir. I only know it wasn't me.

Now, you see, that is an untruth.

You've just told your friend an untruth.

Now, perhaps if you didn't have that filthy rag wrapped around your eyes, you

could see the truth. Then you would not lie.

You mean my copa, sir.

You get rid of it.

It's not regulation. It makes you stand out like a turd in a punch bowl.

A thousand pardons, sir. But my religion forbids me to remove my copa.

Your religion?

Yes, sir.

Let me tell you something, child.

As long as you are here, I am Dorothy.

And that is my watch.

Now, you have not only lied to your friend, you've stolen from your friend.

I didn't steal it, sir.

I took the liberty of having it repaired.

Pay me whenever it comes. Do you recall what I said I would do to you if I ever

called you stealing again?

Yes, sir.

say to you? You said you'd rip my balls off, sir. Say it again.

You said you'd rip my balls off, sir. Say it again.

You said you'd rip my balls off, sir. Hey, Ash.

Yes?

Now, how can I get a message to Candy without Leisman seeing it?

Well, deliver it to her personally.

It's 57 miles away. I'll never make it there and back by bed check.

Well, take my auto.

You have a car?

I have many O2s, but only one nearby.

That's against the rules.

Speaking of rules...

Holt,

dismiss your cell.

Yes, sir.

Later, Ash.

Cadet, resume your duties.

That's what your friends call you now, isn't it, Hash?

Yes, sir.

Well, I'm your friend, am I not?

Yes, sir.

May I call you Hash?

May I call you Lice?

Uh, Major Vaughn.

I'd like to know what those roommates of yours are up to from time to time, so I

might head off any crises that might present themselves.

See, that way you and I could work together and really learn how to be

Instead of spending all your free time cleaning commodes while you might even

get some special privileges.

That way we'd all be happier.

Do we have a pact?

Maybe Chooch could cover for us if we're not back in time.

Hey, look, I ain't covering for anybody. You guys go over the wall, you take

your own chances.

Just leave me out of this.

You sure you won't join us?

Why? Are you falling apart?

Gentlemen, I'm a new student.

The admissions office told me to report you.

What can I do for you, Handelman?

The name's not Handelman. It's Beauregard Rodney.

Handelman's the school I was just kicked out of.

Do you have an extra bunk?

Over there.

Okay.

Happy birthday, Church.

Do you mind if I take this one? Yeah, I do.

Well, then, how about this one?

Three, punch it.

You don't wet your bed, do you?

No, I generally just piss over the side.

I wet my bed sometimes.

You're putting me on.

Aren't you a little old to be wetting your bed?

I can't help it. I'm emotionally disturbed.

This is the ninth prep school I've been to in three years.

Well, 34 months.

Not counting summer school.

I was at Mournsville first semester before it burned down. They don't kick

out of school for wetting your bed.

But they do kick you out for arson.

I like you, Handelman.

Verbergard. Rodney. The gas man.

I'm in Hashid Amial, Jr.

Don't worry, you'll get over it.

Oliver Holt.

Rodney Verbergard.

Eisenhower, McCarthy.

You slapped my hand black, soul man.

How do you guys like it here?

It sucks.

Gee, I can accept that.

Hey, Rodney.

How do you like the food?

Same as Handelman, except the shit on our shingle's a little more tart.

Hey, Ike, about tonight.

Shut up.

What's tonight?

Nothing. Tonight, nothing.

Hey, in fair regard, it's okay.

What's going down here? You guys are going over the wall, aren't you?

Shut up.

Well, I want to go too.

dark, sir.

Burb of golf with a V.

Oh, yeah.

I have your dossier right here.

Checked in last night.

Oh, yay.

You're the firebug from Handelman.

They never proved that, sir. Why are you not wearing regulation glasses?

Oh, they, uh, melted down.

My nightstand burst into flames one night by accident. Those volumes you

make you stand out like a turd in a punch bowl.

You will acquire new ones.

I will.

I will what, Sid Chase?

I will, sir.

Oh, you get up now, boy.

I said get up!

Well, if you can't, put your goddamn hand down.

If you can't see me, you will hear me.

I'll give you the short version.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever you are thinking, I'll be

you. You'll get the rest later.

God, I hate him.

He's not my kind of strange.

Still want to go over the wall with us?

Damn right.

When do we leave?

Right after taps.

You know, not that it makes a bit of difference to me, but you guys are going

get caught.

Mark my words.

Dear Dad, I received your mail, Grandma, and I'm very hurt to hear that you and

my good friend, Major Leisman, would even believe that I would conceive of

over the wall to see that girl, Candy.

The last thing I would ever do is take a chance on disgracing you before the

election.

And you are definitely right about Candy and me.

We're two young, stupid...

ignorant, immature, and careless to see each other.

And yes, the Jaguar or the Corvette would be just fine.

Your son, Oliver.

Geez, I don't remember this barbed wire in any of the brochures.

No problem. I'll take care of it.

Now, according to my information, the auto is in that garage.

How'd you find the garage?

We came with the house.

You own this place?

Well, technically, it's still an escrow.

Oh. Oh.

Wow. Not bad.

Jesus,

Ash, you're doing 90. What do you want from me? I'm not even old enough to

drive.

How much further to Butch Academy?

Give me the map, Arlo.

Looks like it's about ten miles.

Hey, what's the matter?

Oh, no, we're out of gas.

Put it in neutral and coast.

How can an Arab run out of gas?

May we

have some... Service, please.

Self -serve, asshole.

Oh, let me get it.

I gotta go drain the monster.

Hurry up, Hash. We don't have much time.

Can I borrow the key, please?

Don't need it. You can't go in the woods, boy.

Thank you

very much. I'm finished.

Oh,

forget

about the windows.

We are in a hurry.

3580. Exactly.

change your credit card. No problem.

Bank of Arabia?

What in the hell is this?

Well, it's a credit card. I don't leave home without it.

We don't take no Bank of Arabia.

35 in cash.

Good luck.

The five -man boys were so strong. The second identity she had already started

her love. The first couple of years... Terrence, what?

Young Betty watched him grow up.

me where i can find candy try the vending machine in the lobby now beat it

before i come down there and kick the shit out of you yes ma 'am oliver candy

that you what are you doing here i've got you lower rope i don't have a rope

climbing up wait

Where's your roommate?

Fourth March.

She won't be back till later.

What do you hear from home?

The polls show your father's leading by 15%. That's great.

They say it's a strong anti -abortion stand.

market that's awful yeah my uncle was trapped in the meat department

Go this way. I love you.

I love you.

God, did I have a day.

Oh, I worked my nuts off, and I'm one tired soldier.

candy machine. I hope he's a diabetic.

Did you take her clothes off, or did she?

I did.

Goddamn, Mom!

And then, did she do it on the bed, or did she do it on the floor? Come on, Dr.

Gardner, lay off. I mean, you act like you never made it with a girl before.

Hey, I bet my shirt will.

Listen to this guy. He couldn't get laid in a whorehouse.

Don't be silly. Anybody can get laid in a whorehouse.

You went ahead and you blatantly broke the rules.

Let me ask you something.

Don't you know why you were sent here in the first place?

Because you're outcasts.

Embarrassments to your families and your communities.

Disgraces.

Nobody gives a shit about you.

Except me.

And this is the thanks I...

Now, cadet hole, what do you think your daddy would do if he found out you went

AWOL to see your girlfriend?

Could you turn the heat up in here, sir?

Would you like me to call your daddy right now and tell him what you did?

Why would he believe you?

Yeah, I could deny it.

Hmm.

What if I showed him these?

Where did you get those?

Where did you get those, sir? Where did you get those, sir?

I don't have to answer your questions.

How would I go about getting them back, sir?

Perhaps if I purchased the photos for, say, 7 ,000. Let me tell you something.

In all of your military life, never, ever try to bribe an officer.

Yes, sir.

Now, Cadet Holt.

What do you think would happen to your daddy's election if these pictures made

the front page of your hometown paper?

What do you want for the pictures, sir?

I have already told you what I want for these pictures.

I want you to do for me what friends do for other friends.

Like shine my boots, if you have time.

If you happen to know any women, why don't you send them on over?

Like that hot little bitch of yours, huh?

From what I heard coming out of that window, she'll do just about anything.

Tell her to do it for me.

Gentlemen, you are dismissed.

How are we going to get those pictures back? I want my new car, and I sure

want my dad to lose the election because of me.

We couldn't steal them. That would be wrong.

Would it be wrong to set fire to them? You know what I can't figure out?

That son of a bitch knew when we were going. He even knew where the garage

He knows everything.

I'll bet he doesn't know who played first base for the 1950 Philadelphia

Phillies. Anyway...

Stretch the butt tightly against the middle muscle of your right shoulder.

Then, place your index finger gently, almost correctly,

on the trigger mechanism.

And slowly squeeze,

squeeze the trigger. Could you keep it down?

Some of us are trying to cum.

The impossible.

Blowing across the moor.

Everything set to steal the pictures back from Weissman tomorrow?

Yeah. Hash is going to fake an injury during soccer practice.

Then, while you guys carry Hash to the infirmary, Berbigard and I... Get off my

foot, will you, Lord F?

That's not the thing to do on the dance floor.

We better figure out a way to throw Chooch off the track.

And you know who else isn't such a bad guy? It's Leisman.

I agree.

The mind is only looking after our best interests.

You're absolutely right.

I'll bet he took those pictures to teach me a valuable lesson.

And I've learned it.

I'm not even going to try and get them back.

Why don't you take a hike, will you?

Chooch is right. We wouldn't want to break curfew. You know, when I get home

this summer, I'm going to tell every kid I know to apply to Weinberg.

And me too.

I am so confused. that I have not wet my bed in four nights.

Let's go to bed.

Master Sergeant Goodson, you frighten me.

Don't be silly. I'm just tucking you in. There.

Isn't that more comfy?

You late, dirtball.

Oh, sorry. I told you for the other guys to fall asleep.

What's the password?

Uncle Roy, you are the one.

All right, boy. What are they up to?

Okay. Tomorrow during soccer practice.

Go ahead.

Tomorrow during soccer practice.

Hash, you know the Arab guy?

Will you go ahead?

He's going to fake getting hurt.

The other guys are going to pretend to carry him to the infirmary.

but they're really gonna double back to your bungalow and try to jimmy open the

safe in your desk. Good. I'll be waiting for her.

Would that be awesome? What about Holt's girlfriend?

You thought any way to get her for me yet?

Hold it!

Don't you move.

Chancency!

Reconcydarsen!

Say it again!

Say it again!

Say it again!

Don't mess with me, boy.

Nice move, sir.

I gave him every chance to talk, did I not?

Every chance in the world, sir.

All right. Rodney, let's move out.

Anybody know what we're eating?

Pig balls.

Pig balls?

How can you eat, man?

We got soccer practice in 20 minutes. I happen to dig pig balls.

Where are you going?

I feel a song coming on.

Don't forget, Beauregard and I need at least five minutes of license time.

So remember, here's a wheeler.

Wait a minute.

We got soccer practice. Sit down. Come on, Oliver. This is serious.

Hey, look, I don't care what you guys think of me, but I don't like being

for something I didn't do.

Fine. May we leave now?

Shut up and listen.

Sorry,

Chooch, we really thought it was you.

Yeah, man, we didn't know.

Yeah, and we had better call off the plan for soccer practice.

That's right, and if you ever want to get those pitches back, you better make

sure Verbegard doesn't know how you're going to do it.

Got any ideas, Chooch?

What does Leisman want more than anything else?

My bull.

My soul.

My ass.

Your girl.

You got it. Now, Leisman wouldn't recognize it if he saw it, would he?

No.

Okay, here's what you gotta do.

Butch Academy is coming over here for the big dance.

Hey, Pipehead, this is gonna take a lot of preparation, so pay attention.

Now you have to make sure Verdigard doesn't know what we're going to do. And

here's what else I want you to do.

I'm looking for a home in the heart of the city.

Now, this ain't no brief.

And I'm slipping up the air.

Yeah, I'm looking for a lover.

I'm looking, looking everywhere.

Maybe you'll meet with a chance.

I hear a click of the clock.

It's a girl, my lord.

I keep stop, check, turn and don't go back.

I'm looking for...

You guys think there'll be any hot to trap quail to dance tonight?

From Butch Academy?

Dog meat.

Well, what about Candy?

She's not dog meat, is she?

Oh, didn't I tell you? Well, she got grounded for shaving her legs. She won't

here. Oh, bummer.

Hurry up with licensed pants on me. I was supposed to have them outside his

an hour ago.

Finish.

Well, at least you can't tell Leisman about the new plan to get the pictures

back. I'm not even sure about the new plan myself.

I'd like to go over it again before the little weasel gets back.

We've been over it.

Yeah, I know.

Only I'm not sure what you guys do after I get Leisman to punch me in the face.

No matter.

Your life will be turned out.

I'll save you the last time.

Thank you.

Weinberg forever, we will cherish thee.

Weinberg forever, for all eternity.

Well, I might get lucky.

The pride and joy

of Sheldon Carr.

Candy's so much prettier than the other girls. She stands out like a turd in a

punch bowl.

Sorry, you know what I mean.

Does Candy know what she's supposed to do?

She'll be fine. She's a good actress. She was great as Trenchmouth in our

health pageant.

Hey,

Sergeant Patty!

Thank you, sir.

You look pretty hot yourself, kid.

Excuse me?

Okay.

If you think you're going to need one, good luck, kid.

for a real treat they're talented they're terrific and they're raring to

on let's all give a nice warm welcome to the landmines come on let's hear it

make sure you're back to take care of Evergard before the king and queen are

announced, or we'll be in big trouble.

Good evening,

MacArthur. Good evening, Colonel.

Just getting some punch. Can I bring you some punch?

No, thank you, MacArthur.

Hand me that joint.

What joint?

The one behind your ear.

Oh, that one. The one I found on the floor and was just about to turn over to

the duty officer.

Yeah, that one.

If you insist.

Thank you, MacArthur.

Let's give him a big hand. Let's really hear it. Would you hit the road? You

tell us, got an album on sale anyway?

Okay, uh, we're gonna take a little break here and you can fill out those

ballots for this year's King and Queen.

I bought an album.

Hey, Ash.

Don't even do that.

I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous about tonight.

I wish I knew more about the plant.

It's important that none of us know the whole thing.

At 9 o 'clock, you start throwing punches at Leisman, and the rest will

care of itself.

Okay, but what time is it now?

Well, it's 8 .15, 8 .20, around there.

Anyway, I'm supposed to get into a fistfight with you at 9 o 'clock, and

that, I'm not too clear on how they're going to try to get the pictures back.

I've been watching Oliver and Hatch for a while, and they don't seem to be doing

anything suspicious.

I was looking for Ike, who I couldn't find. Then this shit started to come to

head, so I decided to hop off.

Find out what those little rodents are doing.

Now!

Well, I'll go find me a little something better.

Good evening, soldier.

Good evening.

Kids sure are adorable, aren't they?

You like it when a gentleman ties you up?

What?

You know, with rope.

Well, that's some parachute cord, you know.

Good evening, ma 'am.

Good evening.

Is the seat taken here?

No, it's not. Mind if I seat myself down?

It's fine.

Oh, thank you.

Well, it's lovely down here, isn't it? Yes, it is. Yes, it is indeed. Well,

here's to Butch and Weinberg. Long may they wave.

I'll drink to that.

Tickle your ass with a feather?

What?

I said, uh, it's particularly nasty weather.

We're having me. Oh, yes, it is, Major.

So how about it then?

Like to have your ass tickled with a feather?

Let's be a gym teacher, son.

There's the turd in the punch bowl.

Help yourself, sir.

Where's Ike?

I don't know. We better find him.

They're gonna announce the king and queen any minute. Nobody cares about

I'm trying to teach.

Hey, I love your class.

We all do.

Are you learning anything about weapons?

Sure I am.

Hi.

Nice dance, isn't it?

It's all right.

I particularly like the singing group.

I thought they had a very fine style of their own.

I don't know where the hell he is. I think those other kids are just there to

stare at my body.

Well, I wouldn't know about that, ma 'am.

I do have an odd body, incidentally.

I'm sure you do.

You don't have to take my word for it.

I don't?

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?

We are about to crown the king and queen of the third annual Weinberg Butch

Ball.

Ooh, the tension is mounting.

Well, find him. All right. They're just about to announce the king and queen.

And here to announce the winner is our beloved commandant,

Commandant Nelson Causeway.

Maybe later.

Where have you been?

Quick, stop Ferbergard. He's following us.

Not this time, Ferbergard.

This really brings back memories.

It was at a dance like this at the officer's club outside of Stuttgart when

Germans launched that last -ditch all -out counteroffensive.

We were right in the middle of a Mexican hat dance when a 200 -millimeter shell

whistled in and blew the whole band to kingdom come.

Fiddle parts flying all over. Trombone hit my buddy Bucky Duckworth in the side

of the head and killed him.

Sold!

Enjoy this dance while you can.

Oh, you never know when the shit's gonna hit the fan.

Why are you standing here listening to this?

What do you mean?

Well, I only have two hours before I have to be back on the bus to Butch.

Can't we be alone somewhere?

What's this here, King and Queen?

You're the nominees, sir.

Oh, yeah.

Uh -huh.

You're a good man under fire.

Thank you, sir.

Just have to get my overnight bag.

Oh, allow me, Miss North.

You did say my room.

Why not?

Well... Boys are gonna hang right

in this bungalow while you're hanging out here.

Thank you, Vaughn. Well, thank you, Miss Morgan.

My gloves are difficult.

Oh.

Appreciate it.

Oh, it's lovely.

Sort of early military.

Did you decorate it yourself?

Vaughn. Laura. Vaughn. Laura.

Put on some nice romantic music.

Music.

Music. That's a good idea.

Excuse me?

Where can I slip into something more comfortable?

Bathroom. Excuse me? Your bathroom.

Bathroom. Yeah.

Bathroom. Right.

Bathroom.

Follow me, madame.

Beautiful. Why not?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, too, huh?

No, no, no. I do have fairly nice legs.

I'll get in my soccer shorts.

Oh, no.

No, no. I really want to be turned on. Turned on. Turned on.

want to turn me on, I'll have to find somebody else who will.

You sure you wouldn't mind if I tie you up, punch you around a little bit?

Later, Vaughn. Later, Vaughn. First, I have to be conquered.

Stand over me.

Doesn't he, Ike?

Luscious. All right, let me tell you something now.

Anybody ever sees those pictures of me and your hometown paper is going to get

those pictures of you.

Now, I want my pictures back, and I want them now. You stop playing with my

things and get out from behind my desk.

There's no way to treat your friends, Dad.

That's right.

Friends would settle this in a sporting... sir like how like the

winner of the soccer game gets to keep all of the pitches now let me understand

this correctly now whoever wins the soccer game gets to keep all the

say it again church oh

gentlemen you drive a hard bargain my friends

I will see you on the soccer field.

Looking forward to it, sir.

Now, I know it sounds crazy, Candy, but if our plan works, we get our pictures

back, my father wins the election, I get my new car, we get each other, and

Leisman gets his, once and for all.

So wish us luck at the soccer game on Parents' Day tomorrow.

Love, Oliver.

P .S. How's your roommate? Nuts.

Did you see the food they were trying to serve us? It was atrocious, look.

They're probably serving a good food for the kids.

Good afternoon, parents and distinguished guests.

And welcome to the event you've been waiting for.

The student faculty soccer game, the culmination of parents weekend here at

Weinberg. And now.

to sing our national anthem, Master Sergeant Skip Sisson.

And, as an added attraction, Master Sergeant Sisson's rendition of the

will feature a rocket demonstration by one of our own students, Cadet L. Hashid

Amir, Jr.

I'll kick your pepperoni all the way back to Sicily, boy.

Quiet, sir.

It's the national anthem.

so life's been safe.

Yeah, that key only gets you into his bungalow. Don't worry, it's a cinch.

You just make sure you score the winning goal. He will, just as long as Ike does

his job.

Okay, let's go.

Only 16 seconds left in the game, and the score is still one to one.

Okay, fellas, let's play soccer. Where do you see Holt's daddy when he loses

that election? He's gonna have all your asses.

you take me for, boy?

Thank you.

Thank you.

for a little bit now. Say don't go to school.

We walk around in subway, that's the way we get around.

We never talk to our teachers, that's the way we fuck town.

We're in our 63 track, living on the street.

Play a rock and roll, baby. That is all you need. Yo, won't I?

Beat the devil.

Listen, man, we're just some kids out looking for good times.

If everyone would stay away, we'd get along just fine.

Every time that you get hair, I'd like to tell us what to do.

We've had it up to here, and we don't want it from you.

They like us stupid, quiet boys We're mad so change y 'all

We never had much cop to that Just actin' what we feel It's a

lesson to be learned

They say they want to teach, but maybe that wasn't learning. It's age practice,

what they preach. But baby, that's us, kicking up a fuss.

From the second we stepped over the bus.

Yeah, man, that's us, kicking up a fuss.

From the day I was born.

This is what y 'all can do, right?

Everybody has their right. They can't be written without the floor. That

can't be pleasure without anal.

I don't know where rock and roll comes from, but I know the reason why.

Kicking up a fuss.

For the second.

Boy, is that a little fuss.

Yeah, man, that's us.

Kicking up a fuss.

From the day I was born. This is one thing I'm from the day I was born.

This is one thing I'm from the day I was born.

This one thing I can trust.