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1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,306
I can't believe you finally
get a Saturday off...
2
00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:05,344
and we're spending our night
looking at flowers.
3
00:00:05,377 --> 00:00:08,183
The Philadelphia Flower
Show is an institution, Mark.
4
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,319
People dress up for this.
5
00:00:09,352 --> 00:00:11,255
Uh. Excuse me?
This is a $300-dollar
6
00:00:11,355 --> 00:00:13,795
Mitchell and Ness, okay.
This is Eagles Couture.
7
00:00:14,462 --> 00:00:17,569
I mean, come on, hun.
How cool is this?
8
00:00:18,237 --> 00:00:19,038
Yeah, it's alright.
9
00:00:19,105 --> 00:00:21,977
So, I'm thinking,
Hamilton Horticourt,
10
00:00:22,077 --> 00:00:24,182
Guardians of the Garden,
oh, and we gotta make
11
00:00:24,282 --> 00:00:26,754
sure we leave time at the
end for the Frond Farewell.
12
00:00:26,854 --> 00:00:29,058
Okay, fine. Let's just
make it quick though, okay.
13
00:00:29,058 --> 00:00:30,294
I wanna hit up
a couple bars in
14
00:00:30,327 --> 00:00:32,599
Old City and get cheesesteaks
at Jimangelo's.
15
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,672
No, Mark. We need to get
back at a reasonable time.
16
00:00:35,705 --> 00:00:36,641
Darren's home alone.
17
00:00:36,674 --> 00:00:38,678
Uh. He's 14, Tam.
Okay, in the middle ages
18
00:00:38,711 --> 00:00:41,684
he'd already have like
nine kids by now. He's fine.
19
00:00:41,717 --> 00:00:42,919
[doorbell]
20
00:00:42,953 --> 00:00:45,257
Who's down to
get irresponsible!
21
00:00:46,426 --> 00:00:47,528
Bro!
22
00:00:48,731 --> 00:00:51,436
♪ Well, I used to work
in hot dog factory ♪
23
00:00:51,470 --> 00:00:53,440
♪ until them
robots came along, ♪
24
00:00:53,474 --> 00:00:55,344
♪ and now there is no
job for me, ♪
25
00:00:55,344 --> 00:00:57,682
♪ but I get three thousand
bucks a month. ♪
26
00:00:57,716 --> 00:01:02,324
♪ Thanks to UBI.
27
00:01:02,358 --> 00:01:05,932
♪ Now we're Universal
Basic Guys. ♪
28
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:10,942
♪ It may not sound like much,
but we're still gonna try. ♪
29
00:01:11,042 --> 00:01:15,518
♪ We're just Universal
Basic Guys. ♪
30
00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:21,831
God these are like the
smallest wings ever,
31
00:01:21,931 --> 00:01:23,132
what are they like from
a pigeon?
32
00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:24,837
It's the Flower Show hon,
not Hooters.
33
00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:26,072
Yeah. That's for sure.
34
00:01:26,105 --> 00:01:28,711
Stunning.
Oh, how beautiful is that?
35
00:01:28,711 --> 00:01:29,947
Ohh, that's amazing.
36
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,482
See? I told you it was cool.
37
00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:34,689
Yo Tam, they turned McGannihans
into a throwing axe bar.
38
00:01:34,723 --> 00:01:35,558
Check this out.
39
00:01:35,691 --> 00:01:38,296
Ugh, Mark. Can we just
enjoy this together?
40
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,165
Sure, hon. My bad.
41
00:01:39,298 --> 00:01:41,269
I mean, who wants to
throw axes when you can
42
00:01:41,303 --> 00:01:42,706
walk around looking at
frickin' plants.
43
00:01:42,806 --> 00:01:45,210
They're not just plants.
They're works of art.
44
00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:48,149
Ooh, Mark, Look!
Flower Gritty!
45
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,087
Uh, okay, not gonna lie,
that is...
46
00:01:50,287 --> 00:01:51,355
that does excite me.
47
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:54,128
Oh. And look over there.
They got the plants from Mario.
48
00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:56,734
No frickin' way!
Now we're talkin'.
49
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,437
So these things eat meat,
right?
50
00:01:58,470 --> 00:02:00,541
Yes. Mostly small insects.
51
00:02:00,575 --> 00:02:02,579
They release enzymes
that dissolve--
52
00:02:02,613 --> 00:02:04,315
You ever feed these
things chicken wings?
53
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:05,818
No, sir.
They would die.
54
00:02:05,885 --> 00:02:07,054
Ah. Interesting.
55
00:02:07,154 --> 00:02:09,325
Can I just uh, try?
For science?
56
00:02:09,358 --> 00:02:10,595
-Ah! Are you kidding me?!
57
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:13,199
What the hell, man?
These are like 25 bucks.
58
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,072
Bruh, you're wild for this.
59
00:02:16,172 --> 00:02:17,207
Yeah, boy!
60
00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:19,546
Um... we're not gonna get
caught though, right?
61
00:02:19,579 --> 00:02:22,919
Relax. This is an old-school,
tried and true prank.
62
00:02:23,053 --> 00:02:25,958
Guaranteed laughs,
zero consequences.
63
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,194
You've done this before?
64
00:02:27,294 --> 00:02:30,400
Pfft! C'mon man. I've been doing
this since the 18th century.
65
00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:32,972
Still hilarious every time.
66
00:02:33,072 --> 00:02:34,475
Alright. Let's do it.
67
00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:35,678
My dude.
68
00:02:39,485 --> 00:02:41,288
Wait... where's pig number 2?
69
00:02:41,489 --> 00:02:43,093
Exactly.
70
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,664
Our patented sticky soil allows
you to grow
71
00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:48,671
plants sideways or even
upside-down.
72
00:02:48,704 --> 00:02:50,207
- Wow.
- Very cool.
73
00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:53,313
Next up, a cutting-edge
technology that
74
00:02:53,346 --> 00:02:57,522
will radically transform the
plant space.
75
00:02:58,189 --> 00:03:00,093
Instant bonsai.
76
00:03:00,126 --> 00:03:02,431
-Oh wow!
-That's unbelievable!
77
00:03:02,632 --> 00:03:05,370
Now, we all love a garden
in the sunshine...
78
00:03:05,738 --> 00:03:09,078
but what if I told you, it could
be even more stunning...
79
00:03:09,111 --> 00:03:10,648
at night?
80
00:03:10,682 --> 00:03:13,921
Genetically modified flowers
for bioluminescence.
81
00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:17,361
Oh my God, dude. That's sick.
It's like a blacklight poster.
82
00:03:17,394 --> 00:03:19,365
Yeah, looks like you're
having fun at the
83
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,570
lame old flower
show after all, huh?
84
00:03:21,670 --> 00:03:22,572
Yo Tam, let's get out of here.
85
00:03:22,672 --> 00:03:24,643
Guardians of the Garden starts
in 10 minutes.
86
00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,246
Don't want to miss it.
-Wow...hahaha.
87
00:03:26,514 --> 00:03:29,520
In addition to pollinators,
there are many other
88
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:32,291
insects who help protect
our fruits and vegetables.
89
00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:34,596
Ugh. Why hasn't Darren
texted back?
90
00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:35,765
This is Grace.
91
00:03:35,865 --> 00:03:37,936
Who here knows what kind
of insect she is?
92
00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:40,106
It's a Praying Mantis!
It's a praying mantis.
93
00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:41,677
Uh... correct.
94
00:03:41,811 --> 00:03:44,816
Boom. Yeah, I watched a lot
of bug fights on YouTube, so--
95
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:48,289
-What's up, plant people, who's
ready to germinate...
96
00:03:48,389 --> 00:03:50,393
...On the dance floor!
97
00:03:50,426 --> 00:03:52,064
Yo Tam.
We gotta check that out.
98
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,534
I dunno, Mark.
It's getting late.
99
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,737
We should probably head back.
100
00:03:54,837 --> 00:03:56,573
Aw c'mon. You dragged me
to the flower show,
101
00:03:56,673 --> 00:03:58,410
and now you wanna leave
before the big party?
102
00:03:58,544 --> 00:04:00,080
I just don't wanna
be irresponsible.
103
00:04:00,147 --> 00:04:01,884
C'mon Tam, you've been a
mom since we met.
104
00:04:01,917 --> 00:04:03,721
We never got to do
any adventures together.
105
00:04:03,788 --> 00:04:05,558
It's not like we're
sneaking off to Vegas.
106
00:04:05,658 --> 00:04:08,230
It's an 8 pm after-party
at the frickin' Flower Show.
107
00:04:08,263 --> 00:04:10,400
Oh thank God.
Darren says he's
108
00:04:10,434 --> 00:04:12,471
"watching a movie and
going to bed early."
109
00:04:12,572 --> 00:04:15,310
See? Kid's 14 going on 60.
It's all good.
110
00:04:16,112 --> 00:04:18,183
Orchid VIP passes?
111
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,719
Oh well.
Guess we tried.
112
00:04:19,786 --> 00:04:20,654
Whoa whoa whoa.
113
00:04:20,988 --> 00:04:23,561
You think a little velvet rope
is gonna stop Mark Hoagies
114
00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:26,298
from having a crazy
night with his wife?
115
00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:28,704
No way, José.
I am getting us in.
116
00:04:28,771 --> 00:04:30,273
How you doin' bud.
117
00:04:30,373 --> 00:04:32,779
You look like a man
familiar with the martial arts.
118
00:04:32,913 --> 00:04:34,014
Guilty as charged.
119
00:04:34,048 --> 00:04:35,317
Alright, so lemme ask you okay:
120
00:04:35,417 --> 00:04:37,955
Which insect would win in
a death match?
121
00:04:38,055 --> 00:04:40,060
Tarantula or praying mantis?
122
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,030
Oh man, that's tough.
123
00:04:42,130 --> 00:04:44,268
Okay, so... it's a
praying mantis,
124
00:04:44,302 --> 00:04:46,172
which means it's got
God on it's side,
125
00:04:46,272 --> 00:04:47,742
and God doesn't make mistakes.
126
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:50,614
But, it's hard to bet
against the giant spider.
127
00:04:50,648 --> 00:04:53,721
So, I'm gonna go with...
tarantula.
128
00:04:53,754 --> 00:04:55,958
Ehhh! Mantis.
-What? No way.
129
00:04:56,025 --> 00:04:58,362
Dude, they're like the frickin'
Jon Jones of bugs, yo.
130
00:04:58,396 --> 00:04:59,398
Check it out.
131
00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:02,204
Oh man... Ohoho!
132
00:05:02,337 --> 00:05:03,908
What's up, Slurp Heads?!
133
00:05:04,008 --> 00:05:07,347
Welcome to Smooth Talkers,
the pod where we review
134
00:05:07,347 --> 00:05:10,855
blended bevs and
chop it up about whatevs.
135
00:05:10,888 --> 00:05:13,594
Today, we're live at
the Jinglepad!
136
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,463
That's right.
And we'll be reviewing the
137
00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:18,202
PB Mango Monster from
Ramba Juice.
138
00:05:18,236 --> 00:05:22,310
Shall we?
Let's... Slurp. It. Up.
139
00:05:22,512 --> 00:05:25,416
[Slurping]
Mmm.
140
00:05:25,718 --> 00:05:26,653
Argh!
141
00:05:26,887 --> 00:05:28,757
Ooh! Careful! Ah--
If we make a mess,
142
00:05:28,757 --> 00:05:30,761
Andrea will never let me
podcast here again.
143
00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:33,133
Sorry. I got startled
by the pigs.
144
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:36,105
Pigs?
The hell?!
145
00:05:36,507 --> 00:05:39,412
Aaahh! Where's pig number two?!
146
00:05:39,746 --> 00:05:41,950
Brooo. This prank is goated.
147
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,390
See the Mantis is a striker,
so the tarantula,
148
00:05:45,423 --> 00:05:47,595
all it needs to do is just
sorta like shoot in,
149
00:05:47,629 --> 00:05:49,031
get him on the ground, right,
150
00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:50,802
and then just like,
Bam Bam,
151
00:05:50,835 --> 00:05:52,639
just ground-and-pound him
until he submits.
152
00:05:52,672 --> 00:05:54,242
Hello? What's the holdup?
153
00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,878
Oh, sorry.
154
00:05:56,245 --> 00:05:57,848
You're good.
155
00:05:59,553 --> 00:06:01,590
Ugh! Where's the second pig?!
What are you doing?
156
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,694
I thought you're going to help
me get rid of them.
157
00:06:03,794 --> 00:06:05,598
It makes weird sounds when
I get close.
158
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:08,369
Aaghhhh.
We have to find this pig!
159
00:06:08,537 --> 00:06:12,210
Holy crap, dude.
This is unbelievable!
160
00:06:12,244 --> 00:06:13,748
Yeah, for sure...
161
00:06:13,781 --> 00:06:17,254
so like, maybe we wrap this up
and go play Farm Crossing?
162
00:06:17,287 --> 00:06:19,291
What? Dude, things
are just heating up.
163
00:06:19,325 --> 00:06:20,561
Yeah, I know--
Yeah, it's just...
164
00:06:20,628 --> 00:06:23,433
Y'know, David's been tweaking
for like an hour.
165
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,436
It's out of our hands now,
my guy.
166
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:26,806
Yeah... Heheh...
167
00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:29,044
Wai- Dude.
Where are you going?!
168
00:06:31,415 --> 00:06:35,423
♪ [dance]
169
00:06:42,572 --> 00:06:45,177
Would the lady like another
Gin and Tulip?
170
00:06:45,277 --> 00:06:46,913
[giggles]
Thanks, hun.
171
00:06:46,913 --> 00:06:48,183
This is so fun.
172
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,919
Right? Yeah, it's pretty good.
173
00:06:50,019 --> 00:06:50,821
Hey big boy.
174
00:06:50,821 --> 00:06:53,260
Aw don't look at
me like that, Tam.
175
00:06:53,293 --> 00:06:54,896
[giggles]
Mark!
176
00:06:57,301 --> 00:06:58,303
Whoa!
177
00:06:58,336 --> 00:06:59,706
Watch it yo!
178
00:07:01,475 --> 00:07:03,213
Tam?
Whoa!
179
00:07:03,346 --> 00:07:05,584
C'mere you big begonia!
180
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:13,867
- Uh... Mark?
- Huh?
181
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,640
Is it me or did
this room get bigger?
182
00:07:22,184 --> 00:07:24,455
Oh my God.
We shrunk!
183
00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:25,958
Oho man.
This is classic.
184
00:07:25,991 --> 00:07:28,598
This is not classic.
It's a disaster.
185
00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:29,766
How do we undo this?
186
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,904
Alright just calm down.
It's all good.
187
00:07:32,004 --> 00:07:33,774
All we gotta do is hit that
switch up there
188
00:07:33,841 --> 00:07:34,776
when we're ready to unshrink.
189
00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:37,214
Wait, what do you mean
"ready to unshrink?"
190
00:07:37,347 --> 00:07:38,851
Hun, can we just take
a second and
191
00:07:38,884 --> 00:07:41,222
acknowledge the crazy adventure
we're having together?
192
00:07:41,288 --> 00:07:42,424
I mean this is a night out!
193
00:07:42,491 --> 00:07:44,529
I let myself go for one night...
194
00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:45,397
Oh c'mon, Tam.
195
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,802
This is a once-in-a-lifetime
chance to be tiny!
196
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,740
I've dreamed about this
my whole life.
197
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,877
Well, if we don't find a
way to that switch,
198
00:07:51,943 --> 00:07:54,549
it'll be more than
dreams getting crushed.
199
00:07:57,121 --> 00:07:58,990
[doorbell]
200
00:08:00,059 --> 00:08:03,233
Tom Jonesly. Animal
Control Special Task Force.
201
00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:04,502
You got a pig problem?
202
00:08:04,536 --> 00:08:05,905
Oh thank God.
203
00:08:05,939 --> 00:08:08,510
Wait. Why is this
a "special task?"
204
00:08:08,643 --> 00:08:10,414
New strain of the swine flu.
205
00:08:10,548 --> 00:08:13,420
All porcine calls go
through STF now.
206
00:08:13,554 --> 00:08:14,689
Swine flu?
207
00:08:14,722 --> 00:08:16,425
Smart move calling
Animal Control.
208
00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:18,396
I thought you called
Animal Control.
209
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:20,366
Wait. You called
Animal Control?
210
00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:23,106
Yeah, sorry look, I-- I just--
I kinda felt bad and--
211
00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:27,615
Duuude. Epic move!
It's about to go downnnn!
212
00:08:29,451 --> 00:08:31,489
Grab as much as you can.
213
00:08:31,523 --> 00:08:33,125
We need enough to climb
to the switch.
214
00:08:33,226 --> 00:08:37,333
Gotta say uh, gathering dirt...
Not on my tiny bucket list--
215
00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:39,872
Holy macaroni.
216
00:08:43,078 --> 00:08:44,916
It's beautiful.
217
00:08:45,852 --> 00:08:47,956
Oh yeah, you gotta get
in on this.
218
00:08:48,056 --> 00:08:49,693
Whoa! Yo. Uh...
219
00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:53,065
Hey bud, uh.
You want some cream? Yeah?
220
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,805
Mmm. There we go. Yum...
221
00:08:55,938 --> 00:08:58,042
You wanna be
my insect friend?
222
00:08:58,075 --> 00:09:00,815
Aaahhhhh! Oh! Oh My God!!!
Ow God!
223
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,186
Mark! Oh my God!
Hey. Get off of him!
224
00:09:03,319 --> 00:09:05,891
Ow! Get off! Argh!
Get off!
225
00:09:06,292 --> 00:09:07,460
Thats my husband!
226
00:09:08,229 --> 00:09:12,004
Whoa so yeah, that is uh "Not"
like what happens in the movie.
227
00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:14,040
Uhh...
228
00:09:15,243 --> 00:09:17,081
- Oh God!
- Ahhh!!
229
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,316
Whoa! What the-?
230
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,654
Hear you got an ant problem.
231
00:09:22,324 --> 00:09:24,962
Woah. Hohoho oh man.
232
00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:30,775
Uh... thanks... uh...
233
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:31,877
- Kaia.
- How did you--?
234
00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:33,312
Ah-- No time for small talk.
235
00:09:33,412 --> 00:09:34,750
Dead ants release alarm
pheromones.
236
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,754
We gotta move before the
whole colony shows up.
237
00:09:36,787 --> 00:09:39,859
Uh, whole colony? Yeah. Hope.
Uh, time to go.
238
00:09:43,466 --> 00:09:45,136
- You doing a podcast?
- Yes.
239
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:48,008
Nice. Yeah me and my buddy
do one where we watch 80's
240
00:09:48,075 --> 00:09:49,780
movies and talk
about the boobies.
241
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,521
Oh wow, that's a...
uh yeah, that's a topic.
242
00:09:53,587 --> 00:09:54,589
- No sign of pig two.
243
00:09:55,057 --> 00:09:58,296
Okay, so I guess maybe there
wasn't a pig number 2 after all.
244
00:09:58,329 --> 00:10:01,636
Let me tell you something, pal.
I've been doing this for over
245
00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:03,607
30 years and if there's one
thing I've learned--
246
00:10:03,641 --> 00:10:06,780
there is "Always"
a pig number two.
247
00:10:06,947 --> 00:10:09,786
Phillips, get me the CDC and
the FBI.
248
00:10:09,886 --> 00:10:13,693
Hendricks, coffee run.
It's gonna be a long night.
249
00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:17,802
Nice place you got here.
250
00:10:17,902 --> 00:10:19,639
Thanks.
Found it after Sneaker-Con.
251
00:10:19,672 --> 00:10:21,910
Oh wow. It's so cute.
252
00:10:21,944 --> 00:10:24,247
I love how you turned all
the little things into,
253
00:10:24,381 --> 00:10:25,216
like... big things.
254
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,755
Yo I gotta say man, those
ants are no joke, phew.
255
00:10:27,788 --> 00:10:29,458
Pfft. Those are nothing.
256
00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,797
Spiders, on the other hand,
watch out.
257
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:33,466
Oh... Spiders.
Um, okay.
258
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,038
Uh yo actually can I get one of
those blades over there?
259
00:10:36,204 --> 00:10:38,644
Oh wow what is this like uh,
shark tooth or something?
260
00:10:38,744 --> 00:10:40,681
- Toenail clipping.
- Ugh.
261
00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:42,618
Gotta be resourceful when
you're the size of
262
00:10:42,651 --> 00:10:45,323
a chess piece, right?
Edamame?
263
00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:46,826
Oh, thank you.
264
00:10:47,093 --> 00:10:50,099
Uh, I'm gonna pass. Uh, having
some uh... stomach issues.
265
00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:52,539
Maybe it was the handfuls
of cream filling you ate.
266
00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:54,041
Ooh yeah.
That's a no-no.
267
00:10:54,074 --> 00:10:57,347
Processed sugars: Impossible to
digest at this size.
268
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,953
Gotta be real careful about what
you put in your body out here.
269
00:10:59,986 --> 00:11:02,958
Ugh come on. That's like the
best part of being small.
270
00:11:03,058 --> 00:11:04,629
Man when you're this small,
271
00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:06,733
literally everything can
kill you.
272
00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:08,269
One wrong move, and your
rat food.
273
00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:11,442
Just the other day I almost died
when somebody dropped a mint.
274
00:11:11,577 --> 00:11:12,945
Every day is a new adventure.
275
00:11:12,978 --> 00:11:14,549
Oh yeah. Sounds great.
276
00:11:14,949 --> 00:11:16,553
So, how'd you end up small?
277
00:11:16,587 --> 00:11:18,456
Well same as you, I'm guessing.
278
00:11:18,489 --> 00:11:19,559
I snuck into the instant
279
00:11:19,659 --> 00:11:21,563
bonzai tree thingy at
last year's show.
280
00:11:21,596 --> 00:11:23,132
And you don't want to
get big again?
281
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:27,575
Heh. What's the rush? I'm 25,
I've got no attachments,
282
00:11:27,675 --> 00:11:30,013
I'm just enjoying what life
throws my way.
283
00:11:30,046 --> 00:11:32,417
We only get one ride on
this merry-go-round, right?
284
00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:33,887
Huh, yeah...
285
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:37,126
Sometimes I feel like I never
even got on the merry-go-round.
286
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,730
How about you?
What's your story?
287
00:11:38,763 --> 00:11:39,966
Oh, you don't wanna hear it.
288
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,337
I'm just... an old, boring mom.
289
00:11:42,437 --> 00:11:45,276
Are you kidding?
First of all, you're gorgeous.
290
00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:48,149
Second, I can tell you
have an adventurous spirit.
291
00:11:48,182 --> 00:11:49,285
Really?
292
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,123
Alright well appreciate you
saving our lives, but yeah,
293
00:11:52,157 --> 00:11:53,660
Tam, we should probably
get going.
294
00:11:53,727 --> 00:11:56,733
Oh, come on guys,
you "Just" got shrunk.
295
00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:57,902
Let's do something wild.
296
00:11:58,036 --> 00:11:59,572
Actually, yeah we're good.
Heh, pfft.
297
00:11:59,606 --> 00:12:01,375
Well hold on Mark,
we're shrunk,
298
00:12:01,409 --> 00:12:03,012
might as well try something fun.
299
00:12:03,046 --> 00:12:05,083
So, what do you have in mind?
300
00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:08,356
It's called "Nutting."
You just hop on your shell,
301
00:12:08,389 --> 00:12:09,726
and go with the flow.
302
00:12:09,792 --> 00:12:11,395
Oooo. That sounds fun.
303
00:12:11,495 --> 00:12:12,463
Alright, I know you don't like
304
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:16,005
when I say stuff like this,
but this woman is crazy, okay.
305
00:12:16,038 --> 00:12:16,940
She's a crazy person.
306
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,347
Oh please. You've been telling
me to loosen up all night.
307
00:12:20,447 --> 00:12:22,116
Well, here I go.
308
00:12:23,385 --> 00:12:25,123
Woo-hoo!
309
00:12:25,223 --> 00:12:27,962
Woo-hoo! Whoa!
310
00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:32,103
Ah! God!
311
00:12:33,707 --> 00:12:35,443
Oh God!
Oof!
312
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,784
I can't breathe.
313
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,186
Agh!
Damnit.
314
00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:42,692
Oh, this is funny to you?
Coulda frickin' died.
315
00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:45,296
Oh relax, hun.
Live a little.
316
00:12:47,969 --> 00:12:50,808
Oh, I have to admit,
this is beautiful.
317
00:12:50,841 --> 00:12:52,912
You really do see things
differently down here.
318
00:12:52,979 --> 00:12:56,553
Right? The world isn't smaller,
it's bigger, man.
319
00:12:56,687 --> 00:12:58,423
It puts everything in
perspective and
320
00:12:58,524 --> 00:12:59,960
makes you live in the moment.
321
00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:01,328
I never live in the moment.
322
00:13:01,462 --> 00:13:03,834
I'm always too busy worrying
about the next one.
323
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:06,171
Well, before you know it,
the moments run out.
324
00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:09,512
Ugh. So true. I've spent
the last 14 years so
325
00:13:09,545 --> 00:13:13,419
worried about my kid, I forgot
to do anything for myself.
326
00:13:13,587 --> 00:13:15,222
Feels good to just let loose.
327
00:13:15,256 --> 00:13:17,460
What hell's wrong with you?
She put frickin' Ayahuasca
328
00:13:17,493 --> 00:13:19,933
in these soybeans, okay?
You got a son at home right now.
329
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,103
Parents deserve to have
a little fun too, Mark.
330
00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:23,707
How is this "Fun?"
Okay, we're at the
331
00:13:23,807 --> 00:13:25,309
bottom of a frickin'
food chain here.
332
00:13:25,343 --> 00:13:27,982
I almost got my head ripped
off by a frickin' ant.
333
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,219
Hey! You guys wanna
ride a butterfly?
334
00:13:30,319 --> 00:13:33,660
I mean, when in Tiny Rome...
Mark?
335
00:13:33,693 --> 00:13:36,398
I think I've had enough
shrunken antics for one day.
336
00:13:36,532 --> 00:13:39,304
I'm gonna head back and grab
more of that sticky dirt.
337
00:13:39,337 --> 00:13:40,340
You coming?
338
00:13:41,108 --> 00:13:42,512
Yeah. I'll catch up
to you later.
339
00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:45,751
You know what? Okay then.
Have fun riding butterflies.
340
00:13:45,851 --> 00:13:47,655
I'm gonna go get back to
your son,
341
00:13:47,755 --> 00:13:49,859
probably jumpin' off the
roof and
342
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,732
taking shots of hand sanitizer.
Ah whoa!
343
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,869
Whoops. No big deal.
344
00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,906
I thought it was a spider.
All good.
345
00:13:59,546 --> 00:14:02,585
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
This is an all-timer.
346
00:14:02,685 --> 00:14:04,321
Might be better than Roanoke.
347
00:14:04,355 --> 00:14:05,190
Roanoke?
348
00:14:05,357 --> 00:14:09,198
The colony? 1600s.
Legendary pig prank, man.
349
00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:11,301
Everyone went crazy and
killed each other.
350
00:14:11,401 --> 00:14:13,607
Bro... I- if we get caught,
my mom is never gonna
351
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,243
let me be home alone again.
352
00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:19,050
Relax. As long as we keep
our mouths shut, it's all good.
353
00:14:19,084 --> 00:14:20,620
[knock, knock]
Dude!
354
00:14:20,754 --> 00:14:22,356
Just be cool.
355
00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:26,633
Oh hey, Dar. Uh, Mark around?
356
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,702
He's out with my mom.
357
00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:28,937
Oh, uh,
what's with all the cops?
358
00:14:29,037 --> 00:14:32,310
Did, uh, Mark try to do his
own taxes again or something?
359
00:14:32,343 --> 00:14:36,653
Uh... Hey Uncle Hank, can...
can I tell you something?
360
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,657
It's kind of a secret though.
361
00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:39,859
Uh, okay.
362
00:14:39,893 --> 00:14:42,532
Uh, okay.
So all these cops and stuff.
363
00:14:42,565 --> 00:14:43,433
It was us.
364
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,171
We pranked David, and it
kinda escalated and
365
00:14:46,204 --> 00:14:47,808
I'm not sure what to do.
366
00:14:47,908 --> 00:14:50,246
Why don't you just uh,
tell him it was a prank?
367
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,783
Do. Not.
368
00:14:51,916 --> 00:14:54,755
Number one rule of pranks:
Never confess.
369
00:14:54,789 --> 00:14:57,962
I just... I-- Ah, feel
kinda bad, JD.
370
00:14:58,062 --> 00:14:59,431
Well, are you gonna feel
bad for me
371
00:14:59,464 --> 00:15:01,602
when I'm grounded for
a hundred years?
372
00:15:01,636 --> 00:15:04,542
You can't play Farm Crossing
in Gitmo, Dar.
373
00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:08,082
Stupid Flower Show.
374
00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:10,286
[vibration]
Whoa. What the hell?
375
00:15:11,188 --> 00:15:14,995
[vibration]
No frickin' way.
376
00:15:17,901 --> 00:15:20,140
Oh, boy.
377
00:15:20,273 --> 00:15:22,477
[grunting]
378
00:15:22,477 --> 00:15:24,816
Come on, come on,
come on, come... Dah.
379
00:15:24,849 --> 00:15:26,151
Dammit.
380
00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:29,725
Argh!
381
00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:32,063
Hell yeah!
382
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:37,207
Hey Mark. Um, I, uh, got a
little situation here and uh...
383
00:15:37,207 --> 00:15:39,578
kinda need your help.
384
00:15:40,012 --> 00:15:41,649
Unreal, right?
385
00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:43,352
Oh, yeah!
Woo!
386
00:15:43,352 --> 00:15:47,427
Hey Mark. Um, I, uh, got a
little situation here and uh...
387
00:15:47,528 --> 00:15:48,830
Darren?
388
00:15:48,863 --> 00:15:49,966
You good, T?
389
00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:52,237
Oh my God!
I gotta get back!
390
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:53,774
How do we land this thing!?
391
00:15:53,874 --> 00:15:54,676
We don't!
392
00:15:54,876 --> 00:15:57,447
You just let go... and
trust the butterfly to
393
00:15:57,548 --> 00:15:59,986
take us wherever the
wind carries it.
394
00:16:00,086 --> 00:16:02,457
Uh-uh. That doesn't
work for me right now.
395
00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:05,531
Hey! Butterfly!
Down, girl, down!
396
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,971
Whoa, careful, Tammy.
They startle easily.
397
00:16:09,104 --> 00:16:10,574
Oohh!
Whoa!
398
00:16:12,578 --> 00:16:14,582
Oh my God!
399
00:16:15,784 --> 00:16:19,726
You got any pro tips for
escaping a Venus flytrap?
400
00:16:19,759 --> 00:16:21,729
Nope. This is a first.
401
00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:24,702
I think we just gotta go with
the flow, you know.
402
00:16:24,803 --> 00:16:27,541
Well right now, the flow is
about to dissolve us in acid,
403
00:16:27,575 --> 00:16:29,912
and I've got a little boy
at home who needs me!
404
00:16:30,012 --> 00:16:31,616
What? Isn't he, like... 12?
405
00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:34,555
He's 14. And it doesn't matter
how old you are--
406
00:16:34,588 --> 00:16:36,492
everyone needs their
mom sometimes.
407
00:16:36,593 --> 00:16:39,030
Not me. My mom's in
jail for Medicare fraud.
408
00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:40,800
Okay, well, most people.
409
00:16:42,738 --> 00:16:44,676
Help!
Somebody help!
410
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:45,845
Mark!
411
00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:49,417
Tam! Tam! Yo, Darren's got
himself in a situation, alright.
412
00:16:49,518 --> 00:16:51,923
We gotta get out of here, okay.
We gotta get big again!
413
00:16:52,057 --> 00:16:53,058
Where are you?
414
00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:56,766
Help! Where are you?
Anybody help us!
415
00:16:56,866 --> 00:16:57,935
Tam!
416
00:16:58,035 --> 00:17:00,541
Mark? Oh my God!
Help! We're in here!
417
00:17:00,574 --> 00:17:02,811
Get the hell outta here,
you're in the frickin'
418
00:17:02,845 --> 00:17:04,582
meat eating plant?
- Hurry, Mark!
419
00:17:04,615 --> 00:17:06,953
I think it's starting
to digest us, ugh!
420
00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:09,090
Alright, I'm coming,
I'm coming, alright?
421
00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:12,831
Ah... Come on... Come on.
Okay crap uh...
422
00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:14,000
Uh...
423
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:16,037
Hell yeah!
424
00:17:16,071 --> 00:17:19,678
Mmm, who wants a yummy wing
with the meat on it?
425
00:17:20,412 --> 00:17:22,383
[sniff, sniff]
426
00:17:28,228 --> 00:17:30,767
Heard you guys need a wing man.
427
00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:34,575
Sure you don't want
to stick around,
428
00:17:34,675 --> 00:17:35,844
go petal parachuting?
429
00:17:35,977 --> 00:17:37,213
No, I've gotta get back.
430
00:17:37,247 --> 00:17:39,819
As fun as this was,
being a mom comes first.
431
00:17:39,952 --> 00:17:40,987
You wanna come with us?
432
00:17:41,021 --> 00:17:43,225
Nah. I'm all about
that shrunklife.
433
00:17:43,258 --> 00:17:45,731
Okay. Well, take care, Kaia.
434
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,636
You too, Tammy. You too.
435
00:17:51,341 --> 00:17:54,414
[splat]
Oh God!/Oh! Damn!
436
00:17:56,084 --> 00:17:57,988
Uh... E-Excuse me, sir?
437
00:17:58,122 --> 00:18:00,961
Don't worry, son. Nothing to
be concerned about.
438
00:18:00,994 --> 00:18:04,467
I know.
There's no pig number 2.
439
00:18:04,569 --> 00:18:05,402
I beg your pardon?
440
00:18:05,436 --> 00:18:06,673
I-It was just a stupid prank.
441
00:18:06,773 --> 00:18:09,512
I didn't realize it would
cause all... this.
442
00:18:09,545 --> 00:18:12,283
We just thought it'd be funny
to mess with my neighbor.
443
00:18:12,316 --> 00:18:14,488
What do you mean... we?
444
00:18:14,689 --> 00:18:16,760
I mean... me.
445
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:17,995
It was just me.
446
00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:21,301
Can you just call my mom and
let her know I'm in Gitmo?
447
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,738
You got guts, kid.
448
00:18:22,872 --> 00:18:23,974
Come in here and
fessin' up--
449
00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:24,942
I'll give you that.
450
00:18:25,009 --> 00:18:27,346
But you don't strike me
as the pranking type.
451
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:29,417
You tell me who
puts you up to this
452
00:18:29,552 --> 00:18:31,422
and we'll keep this between us.
453
00:18:31,589 --> 00:18:34,762
Sir, we just got the
pigs' swine flu results...
454
00:18:35,797 --> 00:18:37,567
[knock, knock, knock]
455
00:18:37,601 --> 00:18:41,876
Oh u-uh... hey... officer?
To what do I owe the honor?
456
00:18:41,909 --> 00:18:43,647
You handle any hogs tonight?
457
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,049
Me? Hogs?
Pfft!
458
00:18:45,149 --> 00:18:47,420
No way man.
I- I'm actually kosher...
459
00:18:47,453 --> 00:18:49,324
Uh yeah...
Shabbat Shalom!
460
00:18:49,357 --> 00:18:50,661
Wait, you're Jewish?
461
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,463
Uh, yes I am, Hhhank.
462
00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:55,838
Well your pal here just tested
positive for swine flu.
463
00:18:55,871 --> 00:18:57,508
Hey, J.D.
464
00:18:57,541 --> 00:19:00,614
Dar?! Y- you're gonna
be okay... right?
465
00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:01,550
I hope so.
466
00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:05,557
Meh, this particular strain
only has a 30% survival rate.
467
00:19:05,591 --> 00:19:09,063
Oh God! Oh I'm so sorry, Dar.
468
00:19:09,197 --> 00:19:11,769
This is all my fault.
Don't die on me.
469
00:19:11,836 --> 00:19:15,644
It was just supposed
to be a stupid prank!
470
00:19:15,944 --> 00:19:17,547
Heh. Gotcha.
471
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:19,619
Are you freaking kidding me?
472
00:19:19,652 --> 00:19:22,156
Not cool, dude!
Not freakin' cool.
473
00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:25,096
Alright, boys. Hope
you learned your lesson.
474
00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:26,197
Yes sir.
475
00:19:26,364 --> 00:19:28,703
Do this again, and I'll put
you both down.
476
00:19:28,803 --> 00:19:30,673
Just like those two pigs.
477
00:19:30,673 --> 00:19:32,410
Ha! Good one.
478
00:19:39,658 --> 00:19:41,562
That should do it.
479
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:46,772
C'mon, we got 10 seconds,
lets go.
480
00:19:50,112 --> 00:19:51,549
Uh-oh.
481
00:20:02,771 --> 00:20:06,579
Hoo! Hell yeah, dude!
Grace, for the win!
482
00:20:06,612 --> 00:20:07,848
Let's go!
483
00:20:15,363 --> 00:20:18,001
Hell yeah, dude.
Back to 5-10.
484
00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:19,371
You're 5-7, honey.
485
00:20:19,404 --> 00:20:22,376
Tam, I'm 5-8 at least, okay
486
00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:24,848
Uh...
487
00:20:24,982 --> 00:20:26,886
Go! Go go go go.
488
00:20:27,921 --> 00:20:29,490
Whoa there.
489
00:20:29,925 --> 00:20:31,729
Whoa.
490
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,404
Oo ho ho ho.
It's on.
491
00:20:38,109 --> 00:20:39,978
Pray to this, bitch!
492
00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:48,428
Darren! You okay?
493
00:20:48,462 --> 00:20:50,767
Yeah, I just couldn't get
the internet to work,
494
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,136
but I- I figured it out.
495
00:20:52,136 --> 00:20:55,309
Oh... Ohoho, come here, you.
496
00:20:57,848 --> 00:21:00,052
Oh... He's fine.
497
00:21:00,887 --> 00:21:01,956
Hey uh, listen...
498
00:21:02,123 --> 00:21:05,229
I'm sorry for making you stay
out later than you wanted.
499
00:21:05,329 --> 00:21:07,233
Ah, it's not your fault.
I needed the push.
500
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:10,708
Honestly, this turned out to be
a pretty frickin' awesome night.
501
00:21:10,741 --> 00:21:12,811
Yeah it was uh...
it was something else.
502
00:21:12,845 --> 00:21:15,283
Maybe next time, though,
we do something less crazy...
503
00:21:15,383 --> 00:21:17,888
like bar-hopping and
3 AM cheesesteaks.
504
00:21:17,921 --> 00:21:19,791
Now we're talking...
505
00:21:20,325 --> 00:21:21,796
What the hell?
506
00:21:22,396 --> 00:21:25,169
Darren! Get your ass down
here right now!
507
00:21:25,202 --> 00:21:26,204
What?
508
00:21:26,304 --> 00:21:27,641
Where the hell is pig 1?
509
00:21:27,741 --> 00:21:29,912
And there better not be
a pig 3!
37243
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