Original subtitles

I just wonder if there could be someone out there.

You seek a soulmate? Uh-oh.

'She just has so much to deal with,

'what with the separation and the house move.

'I'm basically running the show now.'

Tell your penny-pinching husband that I need to release some funds.

It's basic book-keeping. Just get on with it.

This isn't what I signed up for.

You'd rather my whole life be as dull and as drab as you are.

It's just never-ending drama. I hate you!

ALEKSANDRA: Luis Castillo. Tall, dark and very charming.

Lovely suit. Luis has a trip to the Greek islands.

I was just saying this morning, Sarah always says I work too hard.

You said you wanted to show me the islands.

You wanted me to meet your friends because we're a couple.

That is what couples do. It's not working for me any more.

This has to stop, do you hear?

CLAUDIA: Jane, could I have a word? What is it?

Well, I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go.

I'm terribly sorry.

She didn't even do it in person. After everything we've been through.

What's wrong with me, Mum? I'm so tired of it all.

TOMMY: Here you are with two pink drinks and no-one to talk to.

This man will bring great passion into your life.

Once you meet him, there will be no going back.

'I would like the police to come and split us up,

'to stop us from hurting each other.'

DOUGLAS: The woman can't have just disappeared.

REPORTER: 'But as time passes, speculation is growing.

'Could Jane Andrews have killed the man she loved?'

PHONE BEEPS

So, er, what did she buy?

Two boxes of painkillers and a pack of lacy thongs.

Apparently, she tried to buy more tablets,

but they wouldn't sell them to her.

You think we could be looking at a murder-suicide?

Except why would you bother buying sexy lingerie

if you're planning on topping yourself?

Maybe she wanted clean underwear?

Anyway, the mobile company got a hit on her phone soon after.

She was just outside Southampton, headed west.

And there's been no further contact with the ex-husband? None.

But apparently, signal round there's pretty patchy.

Did the, er... the SOCOs find her passport?

His was in the office, but there's no sign of hers.

Right, we need to issue an all-ports warning.

If we let her leave the country, then it's game over.

I know, Sir, but I don't think she will.

All I know is we're three days into a national manhunt,

and we're still no closer to bringing her in.

She walked straight into a supermarket.

Didn't even hide her face.

If she's taking risks,

maybe she intends to be dead before we can get to her.

Well, she'd better bloody not be.

STARTS ENGINE

ALARM BEEPING, APPLAUSE ON TV

Crikey. A domestic goddess in every sense.

You are a bloody marvel.

Well, I think we're almost there.

I've put out the wine glasses. They just need to go on the table.

Red AND white? Of course.

Because if a thing's worth doing... ...it's worth doing right.

Right. Come on, then, you. Let's get some music on.

They should be here any minute.

SARAH, ON TV: 'Thank you. I'm so glad.'

HOST: 'So, let's start with young Sarah,

'that happy, confident girl the whole world fell in love with.

'But that wasn't the whole story, was it?'

'Yes, well, as we were saying,

'I worked so terribly hard to make everyone else happy.

'It's that common thing when parents split.

'The child just feels...

'Well, you want desperately to make things all right.

'And I was so desperate...' DOORBELL RINGS

'..for approval, for love,

'but I never felt that I deserved it.'

Jane?

'And then, out of the blue,

'this handsome, gorgeous man appeared.'

'And not just a man...' Janey.

'..a prince.'

'Yes, exactly.' Darling, they're here.

'I literally met my Prince Charming.'

'I fell in love, and I married him.'

'So now you're living the fairy tale.'

'That's right. At first, I was.'

'But then reality...' FRONT DOOR CLOSES

LAUGHTER, CHATTER

Absolutely. Right! Time for a toast, I think.

Janey, for creating this magnificent feast.

Hear, hear. Well done, darling.

ALL: Janey. Cheers.

Cheers, darling. Despite my woefully ill-equipped kitchen.

Well, we'll soon change that. LEO: Uh-oh, Tommy.

First, it's the kitchen.

Next, she'll be throwing out your boy's toys

and buying bloody potpourri.

Please, God, she'll make him lose the trophy display.

Oi! And those shirtless boat pictures.

Oh! Oh, I don't know. I rather like the pictures.

Oh, I know you do. And those short shorts.

Ooh! I've never seen these.

All right, I'm not just a piece of meat, you know.

Yes, you are, mate.

No, I am. Yes, no, I am. LAUGHTER

Right. Well, erm, if we are making toasts,

I actually have a bit of an announcement.

Erm, to my utter amazement and deep joy,

this gorgeous creature to my left has finally agreed to marry me.

Oh, that's fantastic news. Congratulations!

Yes, congratulations. That's wonderful.

Thank you. Glasses down, everybody.

This calls for Champagne. It was always you.

I just perked up immediately. On my 15th drink, but, you know!

You sure about this, though, Mills? He's the one?

He wore me down somehow. Hm.

LAUGHS: That helps! That helps, yeah.

Diamonds help. That'll do it. Can I see?

Oh, wow!

Excellent clarity.

And that's a very good setting for that cut.

Oh, yes, you work in a jeweller's, don't you?

Er, well, I do at the moment, yes.

But I learnt about diamonds when I was with the Royal Family.

Janey was the Duchess of York's personal assistant.

Yes. But she doesn't like to mention it.

CHUCKLING

It really is a lovely ring. Thank you.

LEO: Well, I'm glad you liked it. It cost a bit.

Oh, no, stop it. Don't be beastly. Come on, so, when's the wedding?

Probably in the spring. Yes.

Well, hang on.

We'd better get a wriggle on with, er, planning the stag, Duncan. Yes.

Oh, I-I'm not sure about that. What do you mean, you're not sure?

Rubbish. We're having a stag do. End of story, thank you.

Surely, that's the whole point of getting married?

Maybe not the whole point. You two planning a stag?

You're joking.

LAUGHTER I'm best man, I'm in charge.

Anyway, stems, everybody.

To the happy couple. ALL: To the happy couple.

Cheers. Congratulations.

Remember, erm, Mickey's stag? In Barcelona?

LAUGHTER

I remember that stripper took a shine to Tommy.

Sh-She was a lovely young lady.

And we had a very interesting conversation about football.

Football! That's what you were talking about?

Oh, I missed that.

LAUGHTER

Erm, what's this? JOSH: Well, you know our Tommy.

Can't say no to a pretty face. CHUCKLES

Well, unless they try to tie him down.

OK, that's enough of that.

And then he runs for the hills.

CAMILLA: Leo. At least, he used to.

Well, I wish I knew some of this before you asked me to move in.

Don't pay any attention.

How's the wrist, by the way? Duncan.

It's much better, thank you.

Good. More Champagne, I think.

She was determined to get her feet under the table.

The wrist thing just gave her an excuse.

I think she was just strapped for cash

and needed to rent out her flat.

Janey said they'd been dancing... and then she fell.

But I didn't buy it.

And eventually...

...she told me that he'd pushed her

over the open door of the dishwasher.

She tripped.

Or she did it on purpose. Either way, she got what she wanted.

Duncan obviously got it from somewhere.

Jesus Christ. Give it a rest, will you?

It's lovely to know that's how you talk about me

with all of your friends. HE EXHALES

Don't be ridiculous.

And the way that he said, "How's your wrist?"

was so fucking snide.

I could've punched him!

Dunc was just winding you up, and you have overreacted, as usual.

So, what, I'm supposed to just sit there and take it, am I?

Darling, there's nothing to take.

You're just being too bloody sensitive, Janey.

Look, Dunc was just being Dunc. Oh, yeah, good old Dunc.

If you love him so much,

why don't you just go and live with Dunc instead?

I mean, I would... but his feet stink.

And besides, I've heard he's shit in bed.

HE SNIGGERS

Also, there is this...

sexy little minx that I've had my eye on.

Oh, yeah? Mm.

Sure there's not some stripper you'd rather be screwing?

No. There's only one woman I want to screw.

If I can get her to stop talking for five minutes.

Five minutes hardly seems worth it.

Trust me, lady. It'll be worth it.

So you're sure you don't want me to go?

No-one's going anywhere.

Glad to hear it.

Cos if you left me, Tommy...

...I don't know what I would do.

HE INHALES SHARPLY Stop.

Put them on first, yeah?

Yeah? Yeah.

You know how much I like it.

Yep, I know, Mum,

but Leo wanted somewhere more central for his stag do,

so we chose Berlin.

I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love you too. OK. All right. Bye, Mum. Bye.

Can't believe you're leaving me for a whole weekend. I know.

But think just how good it'll be when I get back.

You should make the most of it.

Call up your girlfriends, go out on the town.

Maybe I'll meet a nice young man. You'd better bloody not.

There it is.

Call me when you get to Berlin, yeah? Course.

CAR HORN TOOTS That'll be Dunc.

You won't forget? I won't forget.

DOORBELL RINGS

All right, chaps? DUNCAN: There he is. Got the hat?

TOMMY LAUGHS, DOOR CLOSES

REPORTER: '..having trouble getting people to pay attention. But...'

PRESENTER: 'What did they say about Princess Diana's dress?

' "Oh, doesn't it look crumpled?"

'But they didn't say that about yours.

'Because you've got such nice broad shoulders,

'the strapless looks wonderful.'

'Yeah, and all the work you've put into them, Angelie. That's right.

'Paying off on your wedding day.

'Contrary to popular belief,

'strapless dresses really do suit most people.

'They show off shoulders beautifully.

'And if you've got a small bust, they're dead easy to wear.

'If you want to wear one and you've got a big bust,

'just make jolly sure that the underwear you wear

'is the right kind of underwear because...'

RINGING TONE 'Hi, you've reached Tommy's phone.

'Leave a message, and I'll get back to you.'

Hey, it's me.

Assuming you've safely arrived in Deutschland.

Gimme a call when you can, yeah?

Miss you already.

'Hi, Tommy. It's me again.'

So... still no word.

For all I know, you could be... dead in a ditch somewhere.

So if you could just call me back...

it would be good to know that you're still alive.

SHE SNIFFLES, GASPS

INARTICULATE CRY

So you need to get out of the fucking strip club and call me back.

I'm not joking, Tommy. You need to call me back, immediately.

Do you hear me?

You can't just fucking ignore me, Tommy.

It's not fucking funny. You fucking bastard!

SHE YELLS

RINGING TONE

'Hi, it's Duncan. You know what to do.'

Duncan, it's Jane.

Look, erm... I'd really appreciate it

if you could please tell Tommy to tear himself away

from all the naked bloody tits and call me. OK?

'This is Leo. Sorry I can't take your call at the moment,

'but please leave a message.'

Leo, Jane again.

If you're with Tommy, which I'm sure you are,

I need you to tell him to pick up the phone and call me.

This has gone beyond a joke. Do you understand?

She was desperately hurt. It was a real betrayal.

If anything, the thing about "old slippers"...

Well, it was a compliment.

He just meant that he was very comfortable with her.

Janey described some of the things that he'd written, and...

I certainly wouldn't have been happy either.

Served her right.

She shouldn't have gone poking about.

TOMMY: Hello, Jane?

Look, it's not what you think.

I didn't actually do anything, Jane.

It was just a stupid bit of fun.

I read the emails.

Yeah, OK, they sounded bad, but...

it wasn't real.

It was just fantasy, just... harmless fetishes.

Who is she?

She's no-one. She's...

She's just some woman that I met at a trade show that's...

SHE SNIFFLES God.

Jane...

...nothing actually happened.

I-It's not like I slept with her. We...

We just sent a couple of emails.

You don't love me at all, do you?

Jane, that's not true.

You never loved me.

Oh, God, I wish I was dead. Oh, Jane, please don't say that.

You mustn't say things like that, OK?

I'm really, really sorry. Why shouldn't I?

If you don't love me, I'd rather be dead.

J-Jane, look.

I am really sorry.

We're good. I... I promise.

I can see this is very distressing.

He said it didn't mean anything.

It was just a stupid flirtation,

and I was the one that was over-reacting.

I don't know, maybe I am.

It's not like he actually slept with her.

We've talked about how people can try to minimise your feelings

so they don't have to deal with them.

Your parents, for example.

Right. I remember you said there were certain things

that happened in your childhood

that they didn't want to know about.

Yeah.

It was all just swept under the carpet.

Do you feel that's what's happening here?

I don't know.

Maybe.

My whole life revolves around him.

Forget about what I want, what I need.

It's always about Tommy.

If I just knew for sure where we were headed...

...then I... I could relax.

Could you tell him you feel this way?

What's the point? He wouldn't understand.

But if you want to establish clearer boundaries...

...he needs to know what behaviour you find unacceptable.

I can't carry on like this, Tommy.

You hurt me so much.

And the truth is...

it sent me to... a very dark place.

And it's a place that I have been in before.

What do you mean?

I know you thought I was just making threats.

But the fact is I, erm...

...I have tried to kill myself in the past.

God. I don't want to go into details.

But it's happened more than once,

and I can't be with someone

who might push me into feeling like that again.

No.

No, course not. Erm...

I'm so sorry.

So if you would...

rather be with this woman in Las Vegas...

No. No, no. That was never the thing...

...or you've decided that you'd never want to settle down...

That's... No, I... Look, I...

I definitely think about...

...marriage and... and kids and all of those things.

OK.

I just need to know that we're heading in the same direction.

It's not that I'm expecting you to propose tomorrow. It's...

Maybe six months down the line.

Yeah.

I just need to know that you're not using me.

I wouldn't do that.

I wouldn't. OK?

Don't ever hurt me again, Tommy.

I really couldn't bear it.

She started texting a couple of hours ago.

It's been non-stop ever since.

My inbox is practically full,

but I didn't think I should delete anything.

She's obviously in a terrible state.

Francesca, we have CCTV footage

that shows Jane buying quite a lot of painkillers.

So, as you can imagine,

we're extremely concerned for her wellbeing.

We need you to talk to her.

Try and get her to tell you exactly where she is.

Think you could do that?

I can try.

LAUGHTER, SWING MUSIC PLAYING

Right, then. Another one for the Majesty.

Happy birthday to the Queen Mother. To the Queen Mother.

God bless the old dear. LAUGHTER

MUSIC: 'Tainted Love' by Soft Cell

Oh, my God, Tommy.

Oh, Jesus. Shall we?

Yes, indeed. Duncan, do me a favour, old boy.

Oh, anything for you, Tom. Yes, thank you.

♪ Sometimes I feel I've got to

♪ Run away I've got to

♪ Get away from the pain

♪ You drive into the heart of me

♪ The love we share Seems to go nowhere... ♪

Get a room! Come on now, you two.

FRANCESCA: Janey!

Janey.

Things seem to be going much better between the two of you.

Yes, things are wonderful.

In fact, last weekend,

we were looking at properties in the Cotswolds.

Wow, that's exciting.

He even registered us as "Mr and Mrs Cressman"

at the estate agents'.

Did he?

Well, that's what the chap had on his papers,

but Tommy and I just went along with it.

It was very funny. CHUCKLES

Between you and I, he's been having lots of secret chats with his mum.

And I think he may be planning to propose when we're in France

at his family's villa.

Gosh. Really?

Janey? Don't look now, but isn't that your old chap, Luis?

Just behind Tommy?

LAUGHTER, CHATTER

TOMMY: It is a Classic Riva, and she is an absolute stunner.

Tommy really knows his boats.

My brother's been looking at a Riva Olympic. Oh, wow.

Tommy? Mm, that's cool. What kind of condition?

Good, I think. Tommy?

Sorry. Erm, how far is the villa from St Tropez?

Ah, I don't know. A couple of hours?

Max should get Tommy to look at it.

I'm thinking we should drive there one day in the boat.

You... You don't drive a boat, woman. Jesus!

CHUCKLING Oh, pardon me.

Sorry, stupid Janey gets it wrong again.

No, no, look. That's not what I meant.

You should give her a good telling off.

Don't be silly.

Tommy rather likes naughty girls.

That and a bit of dressing up. LAUGHS: For God's sake!

If it's thigh-high and leather, all the better.

Look... Please, ignore her.

You're drunk. No, I'm not. You are.

You're making a fool of yourself.

Janey...

why do you always have to go too far?

Look, just give me... You're hurting me!

Oh, you'll survive. Bad luck for you, then, isn't it?

I think we should go home. I don't want to go home.

OK, fine. Do what you want.

Stay.

I'll just jump in the river, shall I? Yes.

That'll solve all your problems, won't it?

Hold on. Tommy, what's going on?

Stick her in a cab when she falls over.

Tommy?

'He could be quite curt with her.'

And a bit cruel.

She was a clingy bloody nightmare.

I kept telling him he needed to cut her loose.

RINGING TONE

'Hi, you've reached Tommy's phone.' OK.

'Leave a message...' Great. Well, that's fine.

Don't pick up. BEEP

Hi, Tom. It's Jane.

It is quarter to one in the morning, and there are no fucking buses.

Yeah, I'm fucking pissed off.

'Not like you give a fucking toss if I was walking the streets

'at one in the morning or not, though, is it?

'No, it's fucking boring, fucking...

'tosser, loony-bin Jane

'who goes out once in a bloody blue moon

'cos you don't fucking want to go out with me.

'OK. Goodbye.'

Un-fucking-believable.

Selfish fucking prick.

Tommy, I'm so sorry.

That's what you always say.

I thought we were doing better.

We are.

But when you act like this in front of my friends, they...

They don't understand why I don't just end it.

Because they don't know us.

You said it yourself - we're good together.

But, Jane, these problems, th-they...

...they're not just gonna go away.

No, I know.

Every time we argue, it's like you...

you talk about jumping in the bloody river or taking pills.

It's not fair.

I know it's not.

I get so scared.

And I know it's stupid and it's selfish

and it's too much pressure on you.

I've been a total bitch.

It's not like I'm so great. It's...

It's just, things need to be equal.

They will be.

I promise.

I'm sorting myself out. I really am.

And from now on, things will be different, I swear.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Because I really don't want us to go to France and have some... No.

This holiday is exactly what we need.

We'll make a whole fresh start.

New Janey. I promise.

OK.

DOUGLAS: OK, are you ready?

She's dialling now.

RINGING TONE

'Franny?'

Janey, I've been so worried, sweetheart. Are you all right?

'I'm cold.'

WHISPERS: Keep her talking.

Where are you? Are you in the car?

'Janey, can you still hear me?'

It's dark. I can't see.

'I'm so cold, I can't feel my legs.'

Oh, Janey, darling. Have you taken something?

Please, will you tell us what you've taken?

'Oh, God, OK. Listen, just, erm...

'Press on the horn, darling. OK?

'Because you need to try and get someone's attention.

'Janey, you don't wanna do this. Please will you let us help you?'

♪ Je connais une fille Dans une rue deserte

♪ Froide comme glace Mais aussi savoureuse

♪ Seche tes pleurs, Sunday Girl

♪ Hey, j'ai vu ton mec Avec une autre fille

♪ Il semblait dans un autre monde

♪ Cours te cacher, Sunday Girl... ♪

God, it's so beautiful here.

There's an observation deck just along the coast.

It's an ideal spot for the sunset. Very romantic.

We should go up there this evening.

Sounds perfect.

♪ Elle ne peut S'integrer au monde ouvrier

♪ L'air du week-end Est quand elle se sent fierte

♪ Quand elle reve, Sunday Girl

♪ Minou, moi Je sortirais bien ce... ♪

Oh, you made it! Mum!

Oh! We were starting to worry.

Oh, no, don't be silly. How are you? Good. How are you?

Very good. Oh, yes.

Tommy. Hello, chap.

How are you, man? Fantastic.

Young David... Look at him! LAUGHTER

What a thing!

How are you, chap? How you doing?

Yeah, good. Great.

And of course, you all remember Janey?

Yes, of course. Hello, dear. Hi.

Can I help you with your bag? Oh, er, that's OK.

So, this is the new car, Rick? Yep. She's a beauty, isn't she?

Dad won't let her out of his sight. He's obsessed.

I'm not obsessed, boy.

I can't wait to take her out for a spin.

We'll see you inside, boys. Oh, yes, of course.

ENGINE REVS

♪ La mer

♪ Qu'on voit danser Le long des golfes clairs... ♪

SIGHS: Oh, I know, it's so romantic.

Tommy drove us up into the hills, and... I just had no idea.

WATER SPLASHING

CHATTER FROM OUTSIDE

Agh!

Ah, you buggers. And again, David. Still with you.

Well done, chap.

Come on! Here we go.

All right, Janey?!

Keep your head in the game!

'What happened to you?'

I had an epic game of water polo. You should've come down.

Well, I was waiting for you to come up.

Ah. Oh, well.

Dinner's in 15 minutes, and Cathy's just got here,

so we should probably get down there.

Right.

So... shall we drive up there after dinner, then?

What's that? The observation deck.

Don't be silly. We just got here. We can go with the others.

And anyway, Mum usually packs a picnic.

Come on. My sister really wants to meet you.

Come on. Allez, allez!

So... So, Mum was saying you're buying a place in the Cotswolds?

Mm. Well, we're exploring some options.

I thought the second cottage you went to see

looked really quite promising. Mm. Yeah, me too.

It'd make a lovely family home.

I was just saying to Tommy,

I can imagine that smallest room as a nursery.

And there's space, yeah? For an annexe?

Definitely, yeah. An annexe?

I had the agent fax over the plans, so we'll get a better idea.

Just don't overstretch yourself.

In the current climate... Was it...?

Oh, now, come on. What?

Tommy knows what he's doing.

He's always had an excellent head for business.

LAUGHTER

Sorry - so the cottage is for your mother, too?

Yeah, I mean... Well, we discussed it, but...

Darling, I told you about that.

He may have a good head for business,

but, er, his spelling's still atrocious.

Well, that's not fair, is it?

There's a couple of words I have some trouble with, that's all.

What, like "car" and "cover"? LAUGHTER

Oh! That's so naughty.

So, Jane, do you know this part of France at all?

Er, a little, yes.

At least, I know St Tropez.

I stayed there several times with the Duchess.

Oh, yes, of course.

Jane used to work for the Duchess of York as her dresser.

Golly. That must have been interesting.

Did you see her on Friends? CATHY GROANS

Friends? What's that?

Oh, Friends is a sitcom, Granny.

Yes, old Freebie Fergie. She'll do anything for money.

THEY LAUGH

I don't think that's fair. Oh... darling, it's a joke. Come on.

Right, shall we move on to dessert?

Yes. Ooh, yes. Come on.

Tommy, will you help me with the plates?

Hello, darling. OK? Please can we go upstairs?

What?

No. Come on, it's still early.

I'm tired, and... I just don't really feel too good.

OK. Well... have a drink. That'll cheer you up.

I don't need cheering up.

I need not to be ignored and humiliated

in front of your bloody family.

Why are you being like this?

RICK: Excuse me. CLEARS THROAT

Please can we just go upstairs?

You just can't help yourself, can you?

You just had to make a scene.

I'm not making a scene, I'm just upset.

You're always upset.

And I am sick to death of it.

If you want to go... just go.

ENGINE REVVING

TYRES SQUEAL

PHONE RINGS

'Where the hell are you?'

Like you care.

I could drive off the road, you'd probably be happy.

'Don't you bloody dare.'

That is my brother's car.

You bring it back. You bring it back now.

ENGINE REVS INCREASE

Just... Just ignore her. Really, it's the best way.

When she came down to go to the airport,

my mother said she had a face like thunder.

She was shouting, screaming,

saying she'd wasted the last two years of her life.

She just wanted to humiliate Tommy.

Janey called from the car.

It sounded like the holiday had been a disaster.

She was going on about what he'd done, what he hadn't done,

how it was definitely over.

'That was with Tommy sitting right next to her.'

Clearly, things between them had become completely toxic.

This is ridiculous, Tommy.

You can't keep ignoring me. We need to talk about things.

You need to hear what I'm saying. Jesus Christ.

You need to listen to me. Listen to you?

You didn't shut up the whole fucking way home.

Not to mention that mortifying fucking display at the airport

in front of my mother and poor David. You...

You know they both think you're insane?

I don't care. You can't keep treating me like this.

And phoning all of our bloody friends,

wailing and... and bawling

and airing all of our private business.

It was completely bloody humiliating.

You think that's humiliating? Yes, I do!

How do you think I feel?!

Finding out you've gone behind my back with some whore,

sending her those foul emails.

I bet people would love to read those, wouldn't they?

God's sake, not this again.

Yes, you can't just pretend that I don't exist!

Oh, I swear to God, right now, I wish you didn't.

If we were married, you wouldn't treat me like this.

But you would rather just keep stringing me along,

as long as Tommy gets what he wants.

You seriously, seriously still talking about marriage?

Oh, good old Janey. She's good for fucking, but not much else.

Just shut up.

What if your precious mother knew what you were really like?

You are sick, do you know that?

ROARS: Shut up!

Will you shut up!

Shut your fucking mouth! Because it is the truth!

You're the one who's sick.

You're broken.

There is something, like, deeply, deeply wrong with you,

and I swear to God, Jane, I wish I'd never met you.

You ruined my life, Tommy.

No, you did that all by yourself.

Well, then I, er, may as well end it.

HE SIGHS

Get one of those knives and slash my fucking wrists.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Go on, then. The knives are right there.

Go on.

Take a knife, slash your wrists. Be my fucking guest.

Do you know what?

I'll do mine too, shall I?

Put us both out of our misery. Hm?

CLATTERING, DOOR SLAMS

SHE YELLS, GLASS SMASHES

Thank you.

Can you put me through to the police, please?

I'm having a major fight with my other half.

Yeah.

'I would like to discuss it calmly. She will not.'

OPERATOR: 'And can you tell me if anyone's been injured?'

'Not yet.'

'OK, sir. Where's your other half right now?'

Right here. 'What are they doing?'

Staring at me. 'Right.

'Has anyone actually been assaulted, sir?'

Not really.

But someone's going to get hurt.

'Can you confirm your name, please, sir?'

Y-Yes. I'm Thomas Cressman.

'OK, Mr Cressman, what is it you want the police to do?'

I would like the police to come and split us up.

I would like someone...

...to stop us from hurting each other.

If you don't have somebody here soon...

...somebody is.

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