Original subtitles

FEMALE OFFICER: Morning, Sir. On the top floor.

MALE OFFICER: Thanks.

Uniforms are talking to the neighbours.

It's a pretty bad one.

Mm.

Right, we're gonna need to speak to friends and family.

Sure. Apparently, there's a live-in girlfriend.

Jane Andrews. But nobody's seen her.

COMMENTATOR: Britain and the world

will celebrate the wedding of The Prince and Princess of Wales.

Just after half past ten,

from Clarence House, came the Glass Coach

and our first chance to see Lady Diana.

Dress, half lace. Veil, tantalisingly low.

The bride's procession passed under Admiralty Arch

towards the roar of the Trafalgar Square crowd.

And so Lady Diana, in that truly stunning dress,

is well and truly launched on her way to the cathedral.

And as the British people celebrate their new Princess,

it's like something out of a fairy tale.

♪ I just can't seem to get enough. ♪

CROWD CHEERING ON TV

'Sarah Armstrong-Jones, the chief bridesmaid, just come out.

'A wave from them both.

'Well, they're going to cheer until they're hoarse.

'And they're not going to let them go in until they have a proper...'

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH, DOOR OPENS

Oh, for God's sake. Oh, what's this shit?

I'm not watching this. Yeah, turn it over, Jane.

No. Yes!

No! I'm watching it. Argh! Get off me!

Go away! Why would you do that, you stuck-up cow? That hurt!

Stop! Enough, now. DAD: Hey! Hey!

Mum! I don't care. Out.

Do as your mother says, you. And you.

You might as well go, as well. What?!

Go, I've had enough. Go on. Bloody psycho.

She looks so beautiful.

And so happy.

So she should. She's set for life.

COMMENTATOR ON TV: 'And I am sure every girl in the land

'will dream of being a princess today.'

♪ I just can't get enough

♪ I just can't get enough. ♪

Now, this one also comes in white.

But I always think the ivory is ever so elegant.

Here you go. Mm.

It's nice. I find lace can scratch a bit, though.

No, feel how soft that is.

And the underwiring is cushioned, see?

Yeah, so it's wonderfully comfortable all through the day.

Hm.

We've been told Princess Diana actually has several in this style.

Diana shops here?

Well, not in this branch specifically, but...

she's very down to earth. Oh.

All right. Go on, then. I'll take the ivory.

Wonderful. If you'd like to come over to the till.

CUSTOMER CHUCKLES

Don't worry, Jane. I'll take the lady over.

There's boxes need unpacking.

If you'd like to come this way with me. Thank you.

'Thought you were heading off to London in June?'

Actually, we're not leaving till July now.

And this is still, er, you and Timmo?

The one in the band?

That's right.

His cousin lives in Earl's Court, so we can crash there for a bit.

So what you gonna do for money?

Or is Timmo dead rich? BEX SCOFFS

We'll get jobs, of course.

Basically...

if I want a career in fashion, London's where I need to be.

Well, so long as you've got a plan.

MUSIC: 'The Only Way Is Up' by Yazz

♪ We've been broken down

♪ To the lowest turn

♪ We'll just move somewhere else

♪ And still carry on, oh

♪ Hold on Hold on

♪ Hold on Ooh, oh-oh

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up, baby. ♪

That's nice, Janey.

Oh! Oh, yeah. Yeah, keep going.

Keep going. Oh!

Oh, yeah! HE MOANS

Oh, that's good. Oh!

Oh. Nice one.

So, did you speak to your cousin? What's that? Careful.

About us crashing with him? Mm.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

I thought you said he'd be cool with it.

Nah. Nah, he needs someone to split the rent up.

Oh, shit, I just had these cleaned.

But, wait, I'm already applying for jobs.

I know, but these things take time. Listen, I gotta get going.

Drop you at the bus stop, yeah? Aren't we getting summat to eat?

Nah, I can't. I'm seeing the lads tonight.

Hey, it's band business, Janey.

Music always comes first, you know that.

Yeah, right. Yeah? All right. Good girl.

ENGINE STARTS

Oi, Andrews!

I heard that you're flogging women's knickers now.

Thought our job smelt like fish. WORKERS LAUGH

WORKER: Well said, dear.

Guess you didn't make it up that London, then, did ya?

Snooty bitch.

She's not changed. Stupid, fat, ugly.

Least I'm not packing cod like all them brain-dead morons.

Steady on. She's just jealous cos I'm gonna make something of myself.

Just get over yourself, will you?

You work in Mark's, and your boyfriend's on benefits.

You're going nowhere.

WORKERS CACKLING

MUSIC PLAYING UPSTAIRS

Timmo, are you in here?

You're not gonna believe what Bex has just said...

WOMAN MOANING Oh, shit! Oh. Oh.

You bastard! All right, all right, all right.

Let's just stay calm. We're starting a new life together!

Don't get dramatic, Janey. You're shagging some slag from pub!

Oi! Fuck off. You don't even speak to me.

Or what? You gonna go try top yourself again?

Yeah. He said, "Can't dump the nutter cos of what she might do."

Janey? Oh, Jesus Christ. Janey!

Janey. Janey!

JANE'S DAD: Hey.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

JANE'S MUM: Jane.

Jane! There's a letter come for you.

You're... You're not gonna believe this!

KNOCKING CONTINUES Jane?

Why would they be writing to you from Buckingham Palace?

I've... no idea. Well, open it and find out!

"You are invited to attend an interview

"for the position of assistant dresser...

"..for Her Royal Highness The Duchess of York".

Bloody Nora. No way!

CHUCKLING: Janey, I don't believe it!

That's fantastic!

This is what I've been waiting for.

♪ I just can't get enough I just can't get enough. ♪

MALE OFFICER: Where did they find 'em?

FEMALE OFFICER: They were on the side in the kitchen.

We've confirmed it's the girlfriend's writing?

As far as we can.

Dunno what you think...

but to me, this reads like a confession.

"I am so sorry - no more hurt inside me any more".

Yeah, but there's the other stuff about him hurting her.

What, so you're thinking self-defence?

Actually, I think it reads more like a suicide note.

Could be. Right now, we've only got the one body.

No forced entry. Weapon of convenience.

I mean, textbook domestic, innit?

Right, let everybody know that, as from now,

we're treating Jane Andrews as the prime suspect

in this investigation.

KNOCKING Brother's here.

And the friends of Jane Andrews and the deceased

are on their way in. Mm.

They said you want me to, er... identify him.

We do. Yes, sir.

But first, we need to, er, ask you a few questions.

What about Jane?

Have you found her yet?

Well, when I heard that Janey was missing...

...I just didn't know what to do.

You have no idea where she might've gone?

No, none.

And I've been calling and texting, but she just isn't answering.

We've been friends for a long time. It just doesn't make any sense.

JANE'S DAD: You, erm... You sure this is a good idea?

JANE'S MUM: Of course it is.

But what if it goes badly? You know how she gets.

SOFTLY: She'll be fine.

See? Told you it'd be fine once you hemmed it.

And I've barely worn it.

Don't she look smart?

Very professional. HE CHUCKLES

You sure you've got everything? Think so.

Make sure you tell them you got a distinction on your course.

Yes, Mum. I've gotta go.

Be good. I will.

Good luck. See you!

ENGINE STARTS Oh!

Don't forget to curtsy!

Ta-ra! Bye.

Bye, Jane!

See ya, love!

MUSIC: 'Don't Get Me Wrong' by The Pretenders

Raquel!

WORKER: Who does she think she is? WORKER 2: What the hell?

♪ If I'm looking kind of dazzled

♪ I see neon lights

♪ Whenever you walk by

♪ Don't get me wrong

♪ If you say, "Hello" And I take a ride

♪ Upon a sea where the mystic moon

♪ Is playing havoc with the tide

♪ Don't get me wrong. ♪

BELL RINGS

DOOR OPENS

DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

Jane?

Do you want to follow me?

Right, shall we make a start?

You've no previous experience in domestic service?

Well... no.

I've been working in retail since college.

And I assume this course you did involved sewing,

caring for clothes, and so on?

Oh, yes.

I mean, it was a foundation course...

...so my main focus was on design.

But as well as original designs, we learnt about styling

and putting together outfits, accessories.

I'm very good at planning a wardrobe.

But I'm also good at ironing and mending.

Ah, well, that's certainly what's needed here.

And like my CV says, I'm very organised...

...very good with detail.

And I'm punctual and hard-working.

And I got a distinction on my course.

Have you seen this?! I mean, seriously, I can't bloody win!

Oh, hello there.

This is Jane Andrews, Ma'am, for the assistant dresser position.

Your Royal Highness. Just look at what they've done.

I wore that months ago! But still, I'M the one copying Diana.

That's just nonsense. For heaven's sake.

The whole thing's bloody ridiculous! They're nothing like each other.

They're not even from the same period. What's that?

I mean...

...yours is clearly Victorian inspired, Ma'am.

The, er, style is more nautical,

whereas hers has the lace.

Exactly. Clever girl.

So, have you come far... Jane Andrews?

Quite far, Ma'am.

From somewhere up in the north, I'm guessing?

That's right, Ma'am. And why are you leaving?

Did you find it too grim "oop" north?

RUTH CHUCKLES SOFTLY

Not quite, Ma'am.

I just think I'd be better suited to a palace.

Hm.

Well, then I think she'd better join us, then, don't you?

FOOTSTEPS RECEDE, DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES, CHUCKLING

You'll find that we're a bit of a mixed bunch,

but we're pretty friendly.

I'm sure you'll settle in in no time.

Right. Here you go.

Well, I'll leave you to get yourself sorted.

Thanks very much.

The Duchess rises between seven and ten,

so you need to be ready with the wake-up tea -

hot water and chamomile, and don't forget to take the bag out.

Does she take milk?

You don't usually put milk in chamomile tea.

No, of course not.

Place the tea by the bed, open the curtains and leave.

Do not speak.

As soon as she's awake, you need to draw the bath.

But hot water only - she'll put in her own cold.

Fold the robe so she can sit, and pull it up around her.

And always, always wash your hands before you touch the clothes.

This is you.

Right. You'd better get started.

LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHATTER

MAN: It's the way she said it!

IN NORTHERN ACCENT: "I've run you a bath, Ma'am."

WOMAN: Poor thing is doing her best.

Didn't Herself say it made her feel like she'd been down the pit?

I told you she didn't look suitable.

Well, The Duchess wants to give her a chance.

But it's not fair on her, though, is it?

I mean, she's obviously out of her depth.

Exactly. I mean, just look at her shoes.

WOMAN SNICKERS

I think she still may get the hang of things.

I give her a month, tops. GIGGLING

I mean, where on earth is that accent even from?

LAUGHING: Oh, my God, stop! So mean.

A murderer? You couldn't be more wrong.

I've known her for years.

Janey doesn't have a violent bone in her body.

Should we be worried? I mean...

Jesus, if she's on the run,

do you think any of the rest of us are in danger?

Well, she must've done it.

Why run if she's not guilty?

SOBBING GENTLY

GROANS, SOBBING

PHONE RINGING Yay!

Hello? Waltby, 5-4-0-8-3?

'Hiya, Mum. It's Jane.' Oh, hi, Jane, love!

How are you?

'I'm surprised you've got time for phone calls.'

I just wanted to say a quick hello.

'Still, you don't want them to think you're slacking, do you?'

It's fine, Mum.

I was telling your Auntie Kay... Don't mention it!

...about the... about the thing with the dressing gown...

Mum, I told you, you mustn't repeat stuff.

'Oh, it's only Kay!'

And she couldn't believe what you were saying about the shoes,

that you actually had to stretch out the new ones by wearing them!

'Yeah, well, you can't risk getting blisters on an engagement.'

Well, that's what I told her.

I don't know. It's a whole other world, in't it?

Yeah, it's...

It's not really what I thought it would be.

'Well, it's early days.'

And it's like I always say - nothing worth having comes easy.

No, I know.

I'm just not really sure it's a good fit.

Don't be daft.

What's up?

I've been telling everyone how well you're doing.

I know, but... ' "But" nothing.

'Look, most of the girls round here, they're stuck in factories

'or having babies to get themselves a house.'

You have always been better than that.

I'm just not really feeling good, Mum.

SOFTLY: Oh, Jane.

Please don't go starting all that again.

I'm not, I just...

'Cos you weren't any happier when you were here.

'And this job, it's...'

It's a chance to start afresh.

You could be a whole new person if you want to be.

Mm. 'Do you hear me?'

Yes, Mum. 'Good girl.'

MAN ON TAPE: 'Welcome to Elocution For Beginners.

'Chapter one, the alphabet.

'A is for articulation.

'A is for assurance.

'We begin here for elegance and ease.

'A as in "bath", "calm" and "laughter".

'Allow the vowel to lengthen gracefully without strain.

' "Ahh".

'Not "ah", not "ee", but "ahh".

'Repeat after me - ask the gardener to pass the path

'to the last glass vase.

'Excellent. Now, breathe in, shoulders back,

'and once again with clarity and poise.'

IN RP ACCENT: Your bath is ready, Ma'am.

Oh, thank you, Jane. You're a star.

Of course, when I first met her,

she was this sweet little thing who'd just landed this super job.

She had this very clear idea of the life that she wanted.

And she was determined to have it.

Of course she was ambitious.

Why shouldn't she be?

SARAH: I know it feels impossible. Darling, believe me, I do.

You just have to tell him how you feel.

Oh, darling, what's the use?

Because nothing will change until you do.

This is what I keep saying.

There comes a point where you just have to seize the bull by the horns.

Morning, Jane. Is that...?

The Princess of Wales?

They usually have a girlie lunch when she comes to use the pool.

I mean, between you and me,

I think she just likes to get out of that God-awful house.

And, of course, The Duchess loves playing agony aunt.

Really? Lord, yes. She likes nothing better

than advising people about their love lives.

Wait till she starts asking about yours.

Super shoes, by the way. Are they Italian?

Er, yes.

Very nice. Jane, there's a parcel for you downstairs.

Can't they send it up with a footman?

SHE SCOFFS Goodness me, Lady Jane.

There's a reception tonight, so they're busy.

Fine.

Of course, The Duchess had enough of her own problems to deal with.

People can be so cruel.

Oh. Oh, it's you, Jane.

I'm sorry, Your Royal Highness.

I didn't see you there. It's all right.

Here, do you want one?

Er, no. Thank you, Ma'am.

I shouldn't, either. But... hey-ho.

Did you see this?

They're doing polls now, apparently.

"Who would you rather sleep with, The Duchess of York or a goat?"

What? I know. Vile, isn't it?

I'm so sorry, Ma'am. It's like the Duke says -

once you join the Firm, you're fair game.

He tells me I'm too sensitive.

That sounds like my ex, Timmo.

Oh, yes?

He was always saying I was too sensitive...

...that I couldn't take a joke.

Trouble is, he wasn't very funny.

And what did this "Timmo" do for a living?

Well, he said he was in a band,

but he spent most of his time polishing his car.

Is that why you dumped him? No.

That's because I caught him shagging a barmaid.

CHUCKLES

What a shit! I hope you gave him what for.

Oh, I did, Ma'am.

Although she was welcome to him, to be honest.

He was rather underwhelming in the manhood department.

SARAH CHUCKLES

And you don't want that.

You know...

...you're a lot like me, Jane.

You've got spirit.

WOMAN: Oh, my God! You lucky cow, Gillian!

WOMAN 2: Absolutely stunning! Gigantic!

GILLIAN: I know, look! Oh! Sorry, Your Royal Highness.

Oh, what's going on?

Gillian finally bagged the Viscount.

About bloody time! That's excellent news.

We'll take her out for champers to celebrate.

Jolly good. Well, make sure that you put the first round on my card.

That's very kind of you, Ma'am.

Oh, and take Jane with you.

You know what they say - best way to get over an ex,

get under someone better.

Right, girls. Who's up for Wedgies?

EXCITED LAUGHTER

We're gonna go dancing. We're gonna go dancing!

When I first knew Janey, she was, erm...

very much the girl about town.

Always going to lovely parties.

She really mixed in a very sophisticated crowd.

MUSIC: 'Take On Me' by A-ha

♪ Take on me, I'll... ♪

Do you want another drink?

Yeah. Yes!

Come on, Lady Jane.

THEY LAUGH

I'm gonna sort you out. OK, thank you.

Oh, oh! I'm gonna introduce you. Come with me.

GIGGLING

Henry, have you met Jane?

Hello there! Hi.

She's from the North, so she knows all about rugby.

Outstanding! Thank you. Ooh!

So, you work... you work with Ange? I do, yeah.

So does the Queen sign your pay cheques?

As a matter of fact, she does. Nice one!

So, tell me, what do you do? MAN: Henry!

Oh, Rory! Banger! Wahey!

These guys!

I tell you, Jenny, they're mental.

Come on! MEN CHEERING

Hello?

Is anyone there?

Someone's abandoned their post.

Looks that way. SHE CLEARS THROAT

I guess we're trapped. Hm.

You had a good night?

Not particularly. No, me neither.

I've decided I'm officially too old for nightclubs.

I'm Charles, by the way.

Jane.

Assuming we ever make our escape,

could I... could I possibly interest you in a nightcap?

Is he handsome? Very.

Well done! Come on, tell me everything.

Well, he is an executive at IBM, which he says is terribly dull,

but he's clearly very high-powered. And he's single?

At the moment. He says he's a self-confessed romantic.

Doesn't see the point of getting involved

unless you think it's going somewhere.

Well, that's a good sign. And he's just so sweet and funny.

And a good kisser? Oh, yes.

And everything else. SARAH CHUCKLES

Is that for tonight?

Oh, yes, Ma'am.

We thought it would work well with the black patent courts.

Ah, sounds good.

What's the matter? Don't you like it?

I just... I think it might be a bit old for you, Ma'am.

Maybe it's the cut. Well, what would you suggest?

Perhaps something more... fitted? More vibrant colour?

There are several other options, Ma'am.

Or what about that designer you showed me?

The one in Vogue with the sequins? Can't we give him a call?

Of course, Ma'am. If that's what you'd like.

Oh, better yet, Jane could head down there and pick something up.

I'd be happy to, Ma'am. Right, then. Here's your chance.

Go and find me something fabulous!

MUSIC: 'You Got It' by Roy Orbison

♪ Every time I look Into your loving eyes... ♪

Well, she was absolutely in her element -

dashing here and there, jumping into cabs saying...

Buckingham Palace, please.

I mean, who wouldn't enjoy it?

♪ One look from you

♪ I drift... ♪

All in here, please. Thank you.

Those over to the mirror. Boxes are here.

♪ Are here to stay

♪ Anything you want, you got it

♪ Anything you need

♪ You got it... ♪ CHUCKLES

I mean, the shoulders are great. Seeing your shoulders...

Yes, that works. Try one of the gloves on.

See, I like the gloves.

The leaves at the front.

That sits perfectly.

Very dramatic. Ole! BOTH LAUGH

Gimme that back. I need that back. I definitely need that back.

Let me just...

Let me just try something.

Oh, yes!

Whoo! SARAH CHUCKLES

Whoo!

Yes!

Oh, smashing, Ma'am. ♪ You got it. ♪

Oh, why thank you. It is rather lovely, isn't it?

It's by a new young designer.

I always think that they just have a...

What are you doing?

Er, I... just thought you might want to shorten the sleeves a touch.

They look all right to me.

They do.

It just always suits you so well when you show off your wrists.

Hm. You might be right.

EXHALES

You not out with your chap this evening?

Er, no. No, not tonight.

Everything still dreamy there? Yes, he just had to work.

Well, don't let him go off the boil. Ma'am?

If I were you, I'd get a ring on that finger

before he loses interest.

Men can be very fickle.

FOOTSTEPS RECEDE Yes, Ma'am.

Poached eggs a la mode, madame. Thank you, darling.

So, what are we watching?

There's a new thing about bankers. Ugh. Bit of a busman's holiday.

Shall I find something else? No, no. No.

I realise this shows a lack of imagination,

but I could happily eat poached eggs every day for the rest of my life.

I think I could, too...

...if it was with you.

Really?

What, you wouldn't find it too dull?

We might need to scramble them on occasion. But in principle...

All right, then. That's agreed.

CHUCKLES SOFTLY

JANE'S MUM: Your Auntie Kay's been in such a tizzy.

I kept telling her The Duchess won't actually be coming.

JANE'S DAD, CHUCKLING: Yeah.

Well, she did want to. It's just not Palace protocol.

Wait till you see the present she got me, though, Mum.

The most beautiful cut-glass bowl.

It's the same design as the glassware they use at the palace.

Well, she obviously thinks very highly of you.

Just like a princess. Our princess.

You happy, love? Yeah.

And, of course, she was terribly young when she got married.

'She was only just starting out in her career.'

Aleksandra. Good Lord, we've been overrun!

I know. There must be 20 who didn't RSVP.

Are we still all right for brochures?

I kept a box in reserve. Oh, aren't you clever?

Right, better see if our auctioneer has found his gavel.

Jane! Don't look now, don't look now.

That's her new friend. The American.

But I thought Prince Andrew was coming tonight?

Cancelled at the last minute. So she's lined up a replacement.

Ah, she's playing with fire, and she knows it.

She might as well put up a sign.

I very much fear that has "divorce" written all over it.

Well, better start polishing up our CVs.

When a household splits, it tends to be last in...

first out.

He says he's going to earn enough money so that he can marry me.

I mean, can you imagine?

I keep telling him I don't give a damn about all that.

I'd throw it all over in a minute.

Oh, and while I remember, I want that pencil skirt for Tuesday.

The black denim one? He says it makes my arse look magnificent.

Right, Ma'am. Ah! So, yeah.

I'll wear it when he takes me to lunch on Tuesday.

You're going out for lunch? Well, why shouldn't we?

We're just two good friends sharing a meal. Nothing to see here.

Isn't it a bit of a risk?

Oh, for God's sake, Jane!

I thought you of all people would understand.

You know what it's been like.

I'd been beaten down till I felt completely dead inside!

And now I... now I feel alive.

Wonderfully, gloriously alive.

And believe me, that's worth any risk.

Because a life without passion...

...well, that's no life at all.

Hey.

Oh, how was the party?

It's like she doesn't care who sees them.

Well, would it be the end of the world?

What do you mean?

Well, say she did leave Andrew for this American chap.

You could always do something else.

What are you talking about? I'm just saying,

you could find something a bit less all-consuming.

It's only a job, after all.

Only a job? Mm.

It's not "only a job". She relies on me.

I am the only one looking out for her!

And she understands me. We're friends!

Without her, I have no-one.

SCOFFS What am I? Chopped liver?

Oh, for fuck's sake, Charles. You know what I mean!

All right, all right, old girl. No need to get upset.

I just meant we could have a bit more of an ordinary life.

I don't want an "ordinary life"!

You have to remember that she'd come from nothing

and she'd made a lovely life for herself.

Janey took enormous pride in her job.

She was very good at it.

Totally loyal. Very discreet.

I think she spent so much time with the bloody Royals,

she started to think she was one of them.

ALEKSANDRA: 'Her devotion to The Duchess

'was really quite extreme.

'She practically worshipped the ground she walked on.'

Frankly, I found it a bit much.

DOGS BARKING Thank you.

DOOR CLOSES

Ma'am?

SARAH: 'Her Majesty knew everything about the American and me.'

Where we met, what we...

She says I'm to cease all contact immediately,

before I "bring disgrace on the family".

What are you going to do, Ma'am?

The truth is...

...I don't know how much longer I can do this.

It feels like... death.

But to make that change, to...

throw everything over and strike out on my own,

I just don't know that I have the strength.

You are the strongest person I know, Ma'am.

You realise it'll mean leaving everything behind?

The minute I say the word,

I'll be out on my ear, persona non grata.

I mean, I'll have my girlies,

and they'll still be protected, but...

...the rest.

I'll have to let everyone go.

It'll just be you and me, Jane.

Assuming...

you'll stand by me?

Always, Ma'am.

DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

You're late back.

You hungry? Not really, no.

Shall I just get something for myself, then?

Do whatever you want. Sarah and I have an early start.

HAIRDRYER WHIRRING

Of course, if you're trying to reach Jane,

you do know who you should talk to?

KNOCK ON DOOR Come.

We, er, appreciate you giving up your time like this, Ma'am.

Not at all. The least I can do.

Although I honestly have to say, I can't believe it. Jane?

She was always so...

Well, it's the last thing I would've expected.

No, I'm sure, Ma'am.

Anyway, er, this shouldn't take long.

Oh, right. What exactly do you want me to do?

'Jane.'

It's Sarah, The Duchess of York.

The police need to talk to you, so...

...if you get this message,

please, you must come forward and help them.

I know you must be afraid...

...but it's really the only thing you can do.

Oh, Jane.

We've been through so much together, you and I.

However did it come to this?