All language subtitles for Ms.Pat.Settles.It.S03E10.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

- All rise.
- Hey, y'all, I'm Ms. Pat,

and I know the inside
of a courtroom.

Man, that girl is innocent!

You ain't the damn judge.

Get ready to see
real cases.

I want you out of my house.

Real drama and real money
on the line.

I gave her my kidney.

Give it back.

And I'm bringing my friends
to court as my jury.

Lock her ass up!

Y'all may have
started this mess,

but you know
I'm gonna settle it.

Ms. Pat, Ms. Pat.

- You droppin' teeth.
- See, that's my tooth.

- You smokin' dope.
- That was my asthma pump.

Y'all must have
a good time together.

BOTH: We do.

All rise, because court
is back in session.

♪♪♪

She's more dangerous
with a gavel

than your ex is
with your password.

All rise, for Ms. Pat.

MS. PAT:
Y'all can have a seat.

Hey, jury!

CARMEN: What's up, Pat?
There's 12 of us today.

- Twelve?
- Oh, yeah.

There's two right there,
Jasmin and the little one.

Me, Karlous, Safaree,
three chickens, a duck,

a rabbit, one chinchilla.

All right, bailiff,
you ready to get started?

BAILIFF: Yes, ma'am.

This is the case of Brewer
versus Thomas.

ANNOUNCER: Plaintiff Xica
Brewer is suing her friend

and former business partner,
Taj, for $2,560

after she claims Taj abandoned
their new massage parlor

to pursue singing
superstardom.

Defendant Taj Thomas
says her heart

wasn't in the massage business
and a real friend

would support her
in her karaoke career.

Y'all swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?

Before we get started,
I just want to tell y'all

this jury ain't here
to play fair.

They're here to watch and roll
their damn eyes at y'all.

[laughter]

All right, Xica,
tell me why we're here.

Well, Your Honor,
we're here today because

I am suing my former
business partner, slash,

possible best friend still,
for $2,560

because she left me high and dry
on our massage business.

She was there
for maybe three months,

and then out of nowhere
it was like,

I decided our new lease.

She's like, "I want to be
the karaoke queen."

Ooh, child.

Y'all know my friend
don't even sing.

She rap.

And I've just been stuck.

I've been having to pay
all the bills

because I'm trying
to not lose my business.

I need my money.

MS. PAT: Taj, what's your side
of the story?

Well, Your Honor,
I told Xica,

I said, look, this business
not working out for me.

I was having like,
one client a week.

What is that going to do?

I called it quits, I'm like,
I can't do this.

And I did give her at least
a 30-day notice before I left.

She left me a text message
to vote for her

in the contest
and said she was out.

I got two questions.

What's a karaoke queen
and do you get paid?

XICA: Yes.

Everyone knows me in Atlanta
as a karaoke queen.

- I don't know.
- [laughter]

She know
I'm a karaoke queen.

She know I karaoke
all the time.

When I left the business,
I joined a karaoke contest,

a national contest
where you can win $10,000.

I didn't make it
to the top ten,

- but almost to the end.
- MS. PAT: Okay.

And unfortunately, I didn't
get the $10,000

so I could pay her.

So did you hope
somebody would find you

to howl in a movie?

No, actually, I've had people
approach me about

doing opening acts
for different artists.

Xica, how did you
and Taj become friends?

We actually met a few years ago
at a trap karaoke,

and we became locked in
ever since then.

But I also had my massage
business for over ten years,

and she at the time
was in massage school.

I said, well, hey, friend,

there's a suite
right next door to me.

Why don't I get that suite
and I can sublease to you

and we can work
together as a team?

How long
was this lease, Xica?

It was for three years.

Three years?

I have a lease,
with her signature.

If you could read them
karaoke screens and rap,

you should have read
this lease, friend,

and seen it said
three years.

- SAFAREE: Oh.
- CARMEN: She just read you.

The rent was only $612?

- I'd have lived there.
- [laughter]

- That have been my house.
- And that's because I was

grandfathered
into that location,

so not only was I trying

to grow our business,
but I was helping my friend.

- You got any pictures of it?
- I do.

It was a good area for us,
Your Honor.

JASMIN:
Oh, that's nice.

CARMEN: Okay, they got
the little suite set up.

XICA: We had celebrity clients,
we had athletes.

We put a lot of money
into that building.

We was going to do fitness
together, do the massages.

We even offered
four-hand massages

with two girls, one body.

- How much does that run?
- [laughter]

She walked out on me,
so I may be using

my hands and my feet.

- Oh, how much is that?
- [laughter]

How long was she there
participating

before she got the buzz
of being a karaoke queen?

- Three months.
- What?

That was like, immediate.

She's rapped
her way out of there.

Yeah, pretty much.

Xica, can you break down
the $2560

that you're asking me for?

Yes, so it basically breaks down
to three months rent.

She did a full payment
the first month,

and the second and third month,
it was partial payments,

and they were late,
so I was also having to pay

the late fees on top of that.

We had internet together,
that's 360, and then I got,

you know, fines for cleaning
and supplying for $1,000.

- So, Taj, you good at rapping?
- I am.

All right, we're going
to hear Taj's rap, y'all.

CARMEN:
Come on, let's go!

TAJ: DJ, hit it.

[rapping]
♪ Step in the court ♪

♪ You better watch your tone ♪

♪ Ms. Pat's on a bench
and she in the zone ♪

♪ Gavel in the hand
with a side-eye glance ♪

♪ If you're acting up,
you don't stand a chance ♪

♪ Go, gavel, go, gavel, go ♪

ALL:
♪ Go, gavel, go, gavel, go ♪

TAJ:
♪ Court is in session ♪

♪ Fun is on track ♪

♪ All rise
for the legendary Ms. Pat ♪

- Yay!
- [applause]

SAFAREE:
Give it up for Mama.

Mama, mama,
mama, mama, mama.

Yes, Taj!

All right, I'm going on
over here to my jury.

Come on, help me out.

CARMEN: You can get somebody
to come pay for that.

You can get somebody
to get a regular massage.

I know you can if you put
the effort into it.

[rapping]
♪ She ain't paying you back ♪

♪ I don't think she gonna
pay you back ♪

[laughter]

Oh, Lord.

DJ out of the courtroom,
[bleep] stupid.

Okay.

I've come to my
final decision,

and I'm going to settle this
once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the plaintiff, Xica.

[applause]

Taj, you're ordered
to pay Xica $2,560.

Taj, you bounced out
on a lease from your friend

so you can chase
your dreams.

This lady rented
a whole suite to help you.

You can't do people
like that.

And I hope you forgive her
for what she did.

Please give
each other a hug,

because I don't like
to see Black women arguing.

[applause]

Beautiful.

And with that,
I just settled it.

Y'all get out of my
courtroom.

I really like the way
you handled that.

- MS. PAT: Why?
- It started off,

it was kind of stiff,
but you waS tough on them,

and you smoothed
that shit out.

- Kind of like a massage.
-[laughter]

Now, that's a happy ending.

How did you even
wreck the car?

He couldn't see.

- I promise you, it was not me.
- DERAY: What!?

Did y'all get a divorce
because he can't drive?

Can you tell me
why you don't have

your own phone bill?

Do y'all share the same man?

- BOTH: No.
- Damn!

MS. PAT:
Now, how y'all doing today?

- Great.
- Good.

- Hey, audience.
- AUDIENCE: Hey.

Sound like a choir.

Y'all ain't working
for Kirk Franklin.

All right, you ready
to start bailiff-ing, bailiff?

BAILIFF:
Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am.

This is the case of Simmons
versus Simmons.

ANNOUNCER:
Plaintiff Aleishia Simmons

is suing her ex-husband

Darnell for $3500,
claiming he crashed the

minivan she lent him,

which he then
scrapped for parts.

Defendant Darnell Simmons
says Aleishia needs a crash

course in fact-checking.

He says the van was just
as much his as it was hers.

BAILIFF: Y'all swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help you, God?

MS. PAT: All right, Aleishia,
can you please tell me

why you're here today?

I'm here suing
my ex-husband, Darnell,

for $3500 for a van
that I lent it to him

that he wrecked and then
he sold it for parts

and then bought him a new car
while I ain't had no car.

Okay, Darnell, tell me
your side of the story

because you look like
you stole this car.

Come on.

First, Ms. Pat,
this is stupid.

Yes, I did wreck the van,
that's without question.

But I used that van
to get our kids

to and from school,
for me to go to work.

I don't think
she needed it anyway.

How did you even
wreck the car?

- He couldn't see.
- [laughter]

What happened was,

most of the time I worked
is overnight.

You worked overnight?

So I probably just
fell asleep behind the wheel.

- I ain't gonna lie to you.
- You literally fell asleep?

Yeah.

Did you tell her
you crashed the car?

- No, no, no.
- That's a slow answer, [bleep].

I don't know if this stuff

downloads to
your glasses first.

CARMEN: It appears that
you're asleep right now, sir.

All right,
let me back you up.

So you loaned him this car
because he didn't have a car?

- Right.
- Once my car broke down.

So I had another vehicle.

I lent it to him
until he got on his feet.

And then during that time,
I figured

he would get a car and then
I would get my vehicle back.

Did you have insurance?

I did have insurance.

But he didn't tell me
he wrecked the car.

You just sold it?

Yeah, because I didn't know
if insurance was on it or not.

He wrecked it, sold it,
and bought a new car.

The only reason why I knew
that he sold the car

is because one day I came over
to bring the kids to him

to see him or whatever,
and I saw the Jeep.

So I was like, oh, he probably
got company, whatever, whatever.

Came outside
a new gold chain.

She wanted him back
on his feet-- he on his feet.

I mean, yeah.

And the messed up part
is when I did get into

a hard time
and I lost my other car,

then I ended up
with no car.

So now me and the children
are bum-fumbling around,

asking people for rides,
catching a bus.

Oh, you better ride that
Jeep to her right now.

- No, no.
- How'd that Jeep ride, though?

It was nice?

- It was.
- It was.

CARMEN:
You ain't got the Jeep no more?

- ALEISHIA: It was.
- DARNELL: It was.

CARMEN:
What happened to the Jeep?

- It got into an accident.
- [laughter]

NAVV: It's them glasses, bro,
you seeing too many cars.

- DARNELL: It wasn't me.
- You seeing too many cars.

- I promise you, it was not me.
- DERAY: What!?

The car got into
an accident by itself?

- NAVV: Self-driving.
- No.

Did y'all get a divorce
because he can't drive?

No, but nighttime driving
is not for him.

I really think
you need a go-kart.

[laughter]

Darnell, you wrecked
her car and sold it for parts.

Yeah.

How much money
did you make off of this car?

I probably got like,
$1,000 for it.

And you didn't
offer her any of the $1,000

that you got off the parts?

I did what I had to do
to keep everything together.

She's not taking the kids
to and from school, you know?

I worked overnight,
doing those things so that

she can do the work
that she was doing.

What do you do
for a living, sweetheart?

I went back to school,
so I'm in nursing school now.

You're saying you're
taking care of the car

- while she can live her dream.
- DARNELL: Right.

She's getting the freedom
to go to school,

do the things
that she has to do,

get herself up, because I made
those things happen.

Let me say this,
I gotta give my hats off to you,

because a lot of times
when you break up with men,

they will not stick around
to take care of them kids,

and they damn sure won't
be taking them

back and forth to school
and doing the right thing.

You just hit it
on the head, that's it.

But still, you can't sell
nobody else's shit.

[laughter]

I'm going on
over here to my jury.

Come on here
and help me, Carmen.

Not only were you deceptive
by breaking the vehicle

and didn't even tell her,
you took it upon yourself

to sell all the parts,
make money off of something

that did not belong to you.

Sometimes we can't live
in the past.

I know you done did a lot
for her, but right now

you gotta think about
what she done did for you.

You signed
a promissory note.

It doesn't even make
any sense.

You owe her for the van,
it's simple.

So, I've come to my
final decision,

and I'm gonna settle this
once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the defendant...

- What?
- MS. PAT: ...Darnell.

- What?
- Darnell...

- I'm just kidding.
- [laughter]

CARMEN:
I was gonna say nothing.

Darnell like, "Well,
I didn't see that coming."

I thought you had lost it
for a minute, Pat.

I'm ruling in favor
of the plaintiff, Aleishia.

Darnell, you're ordered
to pay Aleishia $3500.

You know that wasn't
your car to sell.

All you had to do was tell her
you wrecked that car

and that no fault insurance
would have paid for that car.

You know you was wrong,
Darnell.

I just settled it.

Y'all, please,
get out the courtroom.

Somebody help Darnell,
please.

[laughter]

MS. PAT: Boy, don't nobody
play with you

like your exes do, do they?

That's why I just
keep out of relationships.

You don't gotta switch nothing,
and no one's ever hurt.

One more thing out of you,
and I'm gonna lock you up.

[laughter]

All right, so we
identical twins, right?

- Fraternal.
- Fraternal.

Why didn't you just
come out your pocket

and pay the $1500?

It was just out of sight,
out of mind.

It ain't no out of sight,
out of mind.

She was right there,
looking like you.

Every time you looked
in the mirror,

you should have been saying,
"Bitch, I owe you $1500."

MS. PAT:
All right, jury,

if clapbacks
was an Olympic sport,

y'all would have
a gold medal.

Bailiff,
get to bailiff-ing.

This is the case of
Bryant versus Bryant.

ANNOUNCER:
Plaintiff Shyla Bryant

is suing her twin sister
Shyra for $1500.

Shyra went on vacation

without an international
phone plan,

racked up the charges,
and left Shyla

stuck with the bill.

But defendant Shyra Bryant
says they share everything,

including a phone plan.

And since Shyla already
paid it, what's the problem?

They might have shared
a womb,

but they sure don't share
accountability.

BAILIFF: ...the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth,

so help you, God?

All right, so we
identical twins, right?

- Fraternal.
- Fraternal.

- Different.
- Different, yeah.

Well, y'all look just alike.

So, Shyla, tell me
why you're here today.

I'm suing my twin sister,
Shyra, for $1500

because she went
out of the country

to the Dominican Republic,
living her best life,

taking pictures on the beach,

and when she landed
back in the States,

she gifted me with a nice
$1500 phone bill

from international
roaming charges.

And I didn't even get to go
on the vacation.

You better have been
calling Jesus.

Shyra, tell me
why you're here.

I went out of the country
with a few friends

for a few weeks,
just to enjoy myself,

and I did not know that I was
incurring these charges.

At the same time, I was

planning on moving
to Atlanta

and building
my fitness career,

so I'm a personal
trainer as well.

So I did stick my sister
with the bill.

I needed this time to put
the money aside for that

instead of a $1500 phone bill
that's already paid.

I'm going to knock
that little phone bill out.

[laughter]

You wanna be
on my family plan?

- I'll add you.
- [laughter]

MS. PAT: All right.

Do you have
a copy of the phone bill?

I sure do.

Because it sounds like Karlous
want to pay this bill.

I can save all of us
some time, Ms. Pat.

All right.

$1,540.04.
You didn't know to call

your phone company
and tell them

you was going
out of the country

and got you
an international phone plan?

At one point,
I did think, you know,

let me make a phone call.

I think I made two attempts,
and after that,

I was just like,
I'll handle it when I get home.

Shyla, did you ever
remind her, "Hey, girl,

"make sure you turn
your international stuff off

or call and get a plan"?

I sure did.
I have text messages.

I have the receipts,
Ms. Pat.

MS. PAT: Let me see
your text messages.

"Are you ready
for your trip to the DR?

"Don't forget your passport

"and call the phone company

to turn off
international roaming."

"Okay, Mama, laugh out loud.

I will call the phone
company before I leave."

"Okay, have fun and be safe."

She reminded you.

She did, but at the same time,
it was just so much going on.

It's always
at the same time for you.

But, you know, my sister
does things for me,

and I do
things for Shyla.

It sounds like your sister
do everything for you,

- and you don't do shit.
- [laughter]

Shyra, can you tell me
why you don't

have your own phone bill?

I mean, you grown.

- What are you, 20...?
- Twenty-nine.

Twenty-nine,
and y'all sharing phone bills?

- Yes.
- They got the same hairdresser.

- Do y'all share the same man?
- BOTH: No.

- Damn!
- No.

Why didn't you just
come out your pocket

and pay the $1500?

It was just out of sight,
out of mind.

It ain't no out of sight,
out of mind.

She was right there
looking like you every day,

every time you looked
in the mirror--

Every time you looked
in the mirror,

you should have been
saying,

"Bitch, I owe you $1500."

So let me ask you this.
It was your phone bill.

Why the hell you didn't
call and get the plan on?

You know she irresponsible.

She look like
she irresponsible.

That's why you
digging at her.

You know what? It's been
multiple situations.

Like, if she gets
pulled over, I get the ticket.

- Uh-uh.
- Oh, she give your name?

It's always my name, because
the L comes before the R.

Tia, why you always getting
Tamara in trouble?

And you know, it's never
intentional, Ms. Pat.

- It's never intentional.
- Yes, it is.

You know damn well
when they pull y'all up,

you say, "I got a twin."

You be like, ooh, that [bleep]
going to jail right now.

[laughter]

This is a situation
that always happens.

I even have my mom here
to speak on it.

- Your mama here? Where she at?
- She's right here.

MS. PAT: Come here,
mama, come on, mama!

Oh, that's definitely
her mama.

CARMEN: My mama.

MS. PAT: Karlous,
now you want the mama.

- [laughter]
- I want the mama.

You want the mama?
Damn.

CARMEN: She is the mama,
and she want the mama.

ANNOUNCER: Shyla Bryant
is suing her twin sister,

Shyra Bryant, for $1500

she racked up
in international phone charges.

Shyra says it's not
a big deal,

and her sister
should cover the cost.

Ms. Pat's ready
to dial up a verdict

and hang up this case.

So which daughter has been
more responsible, mama?

Shyla has been
the most responsible.

- MS. PAT: Mm-hmm.
- She's a free spirit.

Who's more likely
to start an argument?

- Don't look at her, mama...
- Shyra.

- ...just look straight ahead.
- [laughter]

Who's more likely
to pretend

they didn't see
a text, mama?

- Shyra.
- Shyra.

They attacking you today, baby,
you might want to move out.

Even your mama
said you're shit.

I had to call her.

MS. PAT: Who's more likely to
go out with Safaree, mama?

- Shyla.
- [laughter]

MS. PAT: Okay, mama,
you can go step down.

I'm going to go to my jury.
Carmen, come on.

You need to start being
the big sister.

You already know
that she's got an issue.

Take that phone from her

and give her ass
a walkie-talkie.

I think most of this
is all your fault,

because this
is your little sister.

You're supposed to
look out for her.

You call her little sister?
They twins.

All right.

In the case of
the double mint twins,

Ooh, lord.

Now I've come to my
final decision,

and I'm settling this
once and for all.

I'm ruling in the favor of...

...the plaintiff,

Shyla.

Shyra, you're ordered
to pay Shyla $1500,

because you could not wait
to show your little natural ass

and your six-pack
that I'm jealous of,

and you was not
worried about your phone bill.

- Shyla, you enabled Shyra.
- Yes.

It's time for you to separate
yourself from your sister

and get your own plan.

You got to take control
of your life,

because it's obvious
she don't care.

She just want to be
out there in her bikini

and help fat people like me
get in shape.

[laughter]

With that,
I just settled it.

Get out of my courtroom.

- Thank you, Ms. Pat.
- Thank you, baby.

KARLOUS: Now he's going
through something.

He's having a heat stroke.

That's what's
really happening.

MS. PAT:
That might be what it is.

That big-ass chinchilla,
and with all that...

- Chinchilla.
- It's not a chinchilla,

it's not rabbit,
it's fox.

That's just what the dude
at the discount mall told you.