Original subtitles

- All rise! - Hey, y'all, I'm Ms. Pat,

and I know the inside of a courtroom.

Man, that girl is innocent!

You ain't the damn judge.

Get ready to see real cases.

I want you out of my house.

Real drama and real money on the line.

I gave her my kidney.

Give it back.

And I'm bringing my friends to court as my jury.

Lock her ass up!

Y'all may have started this mess,

but you know I'm gonna settle it.

Ms. Pat, Ms. Pat.

- You droppin' teeth. - See, that's my tooth.

- You smokin' dope. - That was my asthma pump.

Y'all must have a good time together.

- BOTH: We do. - [laughter]

All rise, because court is back in session.

She's the judge, the jury, and the auntie

you ain't asked for.

All rise for Ms. Pat.

♪♪♪

MS. PAT: Have a seat.

All right. How y'all doing, jury?

- Hey. - Pat, you look cute today.

I love that hair.

The jury has spoken, and Ms. Pat is fire!

[laughter]

MS. PAT: All right, jury, y'all ain't gotta worry

about being fair, we're cracking cases,

we ain't baking no damn cookies.

Come on, bailiff, get to bailiff-ing.

This is the case of Strickland versus Livingston.

Please enter the courtroom.

ANNOUNCER: Plaintiff Kandace Strickland

is suing her former best friend Shynise for $5,000.

She says Shynise botched her eyelashes so bad,

she had to go to the hospital.

Defendant Shynise Livingston says Kandace was happy with

the lashes and only batted an eye when

she got a view of the price tag.

It's like the yellow about to sting.

ANNOUNCER: That's the real reason she's "lashing" out.

Y'all swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help you, God?

- I do. - Now, before we get started,

I just want to let y'all know, don't be scared

of my jury because all of them got chased home from school.

[laughter]

Tell me why you're here, Kandace.

I am suing my former best friend Shynise

for $5,000 for my medical bill

after she purposely glued my lashes together.

What?

I hit her up for a last-minute appointment.

I had a little date going on

and I had a little boo I had to go see,

so I paid her $120 to get them done.

And this one, I literally closed,

but it didn't happen until after I had left.

Ended up going cock-eyed the whole way

to the hospital and having my eye patched up for a week,

so I'm here suing my best friend for my hospital bill.

Wow. Eyes wide shut.

Okay, Shynise.

Like she said, she came for a last-minute appointment.

I was fully booked, but she's my bitch,

and of course I'm going to let her in for an appointment.

When she got up off the table,

she could see perfectly fine.

That's exactly why I shouldn't pay the money.

Are you a professional lash tech?

- Yeah. - No, she's not licensed.

Did you know she wasn't licensed?

I knew she wasn't licensed,

but with that being my best friend,

I thought I can trust her.

- She's done lashes before. - MS. PAT: I don't care.

Where she doing that, in the kitchen?

I did her lashes in my bedroom.

Do you have proof of what she looked like

when she left your house?

I submitted a video.

All right, let's see the proof.

CARMEN: Ooh, I see her using both her eyes.

You don't look blind.

Is it the left eye that closed?

It look like it's closing already.

I literally did a video,

and right after my eye was irritated.

Mind you, I only do strip lashes.

That was my first time

getting extensions lashes done by her.

That's not because of me.

That's because of her.

Did you give her any aftercare instructions?

Yes, ma'am, I told her, and I gave it to her,

and she said she didn't want it.

She don't even got all that materials

to offer me that.

What happened when you got to the emergency room?

They basically put something

to get the lash to come up, like, from off my eye.

You have proof you went to the hospital?

- Yes, ma'am, I sure do. - Let me see whatever you have.

KANDACE: Okay.

CARMEN: Well, the bill does look a little sketchy.

You don't have no health insurance?

KANDACE: No, ma'am, I don't.

What did they diagnose you with?

That's been a while back,

and I low-key kind of don't remember.

- She had sperm in her eyes. - Sperm?

Oh, wait a minute, ma'am.

This is an honest, Christian courtroom.

Who are you talking about?

She didn't go to the hospital, she went to that man.

You said she made a stop

before she got to the hospital.

- Exactly. - And you know that.

Oh, yes, I know her.

And she drove over there with one eye.

She drove over there with two eyes

and left with one eye.

- ALL: Ooh! - [laughter]

Is that true?

Ms. Pat, Ms. Pat.

Don't "Ms. Pat" me.

That is not true, Ms. Pat.

This girl knows what she's doing.

Did you reach out to her and tell her

that your eye was messed up?

- Yes, ma'am, I did. - And what did you say?

I laughed at the [bleep].

[laughter]

You can't say [bleep].

Yeah, don't say [bleep],

what the [bleep] is wrong with you?

I laughed.

This is exactly why I feel like it was done on purpose.

Why are you so angry?

Ms. Pat, if only you'd seen how she slandered my name

all over Facebook.

Do you have any evidence?

- Yes. - Get it, bailiff.

I really feel like she's trying

- to sabotage my business. - NENE: Oh, God.

MS. PAT: "This is what happenS when you book an

"unlicensed lash tech slash hairstylist.

"I would never go and get my lashes done by her again.

Don't book with her."

You wrote that about your best friend?

Yes, ma'am.

When she acted like she wasn't concerned, I felt like

it was my place to tell other people not to go to her.

This is exactly why I shouldn't be here.

All right, I'm getting ready to go to my jury.

Come on, Nene.

NENE: Is it possible that you could have used

the wrong glue on her eyelashes?

- Oh, no. - It's possible.

You could have had an allergic reaction.

- KANDACE: Yes, ma'am. - I dealt with that myself.

- Yes, ma'am. - Come on, Karlous.

Ms. Pat, in all of my times and travels and my journeys,

I listened to Black women.

And one thing that I've heard Black women saying,

"Stay out of Black women's business."

So this shit ain't got nothing to do with me.

[laughter]

MS. PAT: All right. Any final remarks

- you would like to make? - Well...

I'm hoping that we can rekindle our friendship.

Any final remarks before I make my decision?

I love you.

But, girl, my bill's due, I can't give you that.

She the realest mother [bleep] I've met in my life.

[laughter]

I can't wait to see how this turns out.

Stay within the eyes of the law, Ms. Pat, both of them.

KARLOUS: Hey, y'all stop making jokes.

She might lash out.

I'm about to lash out right now.

I'm going to settle this, once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the defendant, Shynise.

You don't have to pay her anything.

And let me tell you why.

You went to your good friend

who you knew was unlicensed, and you knew your friend

- couldn't do that service. - Yes, ma'am.

I just settled it.

SHYNISE: I still love you.

Ms. Pat, I hope they can remain friends,

even though they didn't see eye to eye.

[laughter]

If they was real friends, they would've stuck together.

KARLOUS: Some baked chicken, some macaroni and cheese.

I wouldn't have paid $6,000 for this either.

That's a lot of food to fix for 200 people.

Green beans on here twice.

Did y'all have a contract together?

I definitely did.

CARMEN: Wait a minute, not a napkin.

It's a legal binding contract,

as long as you-- Now, who kissed this here?

- [laughter] - Oh!

- MS. PAT: Hey, y'all. - Hey.

What the [bleep] is that?

Buck Wild, Ms. Pat.

[laughter]

What the [bleep]?

- [laughter] - Real estate, real estate.

- What the--? - [laughter]

Y'all play too damn much.

Bailiff, get to bailiff-ing.

This is the case of Higgs versus Redic.

Please enter the courtroom.

ANNOUNCER: Plaintiff Tawanda Higgs

is suing her cousin, Javossiya,

for $3,500, the amount she says she's still owed

for catering Javossiya's wedding.

Tawanda says she only received a $2,500 deposit

on the $6,000 job.

- I bet her neck hurt. - [laughter]

ANNOUNCER: Defendant Javossiya Redic says

she paid for the food,

but her family did most of the serving,

so she shouldn't have to pay the remaining balance.

Her cousin is turning her "I do"

into a "I wish I didn't."

...the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help you, God?

Tell me why you're here, Tawanda.

I'm here to sue my cousin, Javossiya, for the $3,500

that she owed me for catering her wedding reception.

I am a caterer.

I've been doing it for ten years.

I did my cousin's wedding.

It was $6,000.

She paid me $2,500 of it.

I'm here to get the remaining balance

of the $3,500 that she owed me.

She signed this contract, so she need to pay me.

Javossiya, tell me your side of the story.

I asked my cousin to cater my wedding.

I paid for the food.

This $2,500 was for the ingredients and the food.

I don't feel like I owe her for the serving part.

That's the remainder she's asking for.

It was a family affair.

Like, everybody pitched in to help serve.

And shortly after the wedding,

she wanted to get a catering van,

so I gave her $2,500 toward her van.

MS. PAT: Okay, you have any pictures of the wedding?

Yes, I do.

Let me see the pictures of the wedding.

ALL: Aww...

Purple hair is your thing, huh?

- [laughter] - MS. PAT: You were so pretty.

- Thank you. - Oh, shit!

CARMEN: You wasn't playing.

MS. PAT: How many people was you cooking for?

About 280 people.

$6,000 for 280 people, girl?

That is a steal.

Was the food good?

Yeah, it was good.

Explain to me how she ended up owing you

for a wedding reception.

You didn't get your money the day of?

No. It's normally due two weeks before the wedding.

That's what the contract says.

- Can I have it? - But she was my cousin.

I knew she had a lot of stuff to pay,

and she told me she'd catch me on the back end

when she'd get some deposit back.

And I was cool with it.

KARLOUS: Some baked chicken, some macaroni and cheese,

rice pi-laf.

I wouldn't have paid $6,000 for this either.

Hello.

Oh, that rice paid five-five-five, green beans...

- [laughter] - Oh, my God.

Pilaf!

What is wrong with y'all?

That's a lot of food to fix for 200 people.

Green beans on here twice.

Nobody want all them damn green beans.

[laughter]

Javossiya, you ever done anything for Tawanda?

Yes, I gave her $2,500 toward her van.

- Did she give you $2,500? - She did.

Was it a loan or was it just a gift?

She never said I owed her back and we definitely

didn't sign no contract, but this contract is binding.

Why do you think you don't owe her any money?

I mean, because of what I went through.

She's seen the hurt.

What did you go through?

The marriage only last three months.

Oh, I thought the food hurt you.

I don't think I ever met anybody that got a divorce this quick

other than Kim Kardashian.

You broke up after three months

so you feel like you shouldn't have to pay?

Yeah, that's family.

We're like sisters. I used her.

- I wanted to... - We know you used her.

- [laughter] - No.

Jury, I'm going to go to my jurors.

Come on and help me, Carmen.

Javossiya, she don't care about nothing.

She didn't even brush her hair good today,

just came into court.

- [laughter] - Carmen!

Shut your greasy ass up.

I think that you...

You planned for your husband at the time

to pay that balance.

But before you can even ask him

or even get the money from him, all hell broke loose.

I like you, Jasmin.

Because that's what happened.

So what you up to now? What you up to?

Karlous, please.

Oh!

She saw you in that mink coat earlier, Karlous.

She was like, "Karlous, please."

That's what I heard.

Karlous, you fumble baddies.

Sometimes it ain't a fumble, baby, it's a punt.

[laughter]

So I've come to my final decision,

and I'm going to settle this once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the plaintiff, Tawanda.

[applause]

Javossiya, you ordered to pay Tawanda $3,500.

You know, just because she's family

don't mean you don't have to pay her.

Your marriage didn't last, but this contract lasted.

[laughter]

With that, I just settled it.

Y'all get out of my courtroom.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

[mocking] "He fumbles baddies."

[laughter]

Shut your punk ass up and pay your cousin.

She borrowed $875 from me, allegedly for her rent,

but I found out that it was for a BBL.

- Let us see, turn around. - MS. PAT: I don't see shit.

She paid to go get stung by a wasp.

All right, jury, let's make it quick,

because I'm trying to catch happy hour

and get me some lemon covered wings.

All flats.

Oh, my God, that's what I like, too.

Atlanta, everybody want all flats.

I like the drums.

The all flat thing's here in Atlanta because

most of us don't have our back teeth.

All right, you ready, bailiff?

- Yes, ma'am. - Get to bailiff-ing, please.

This is the case of Letcher versus Marvel.

Please enter the courtroom.

ANNOUNCER: Plaintiff Clarencia Letcher

is suing her ex-business partner,

Xavier for $1,500 that she invested into their podcast.

Defendant Xavier Marvel says he's not subscribing to

Clarencia's allegation.

This podcast was his idea from the start.

CARMEN: Sir, can you breathe?

- Them pants tight as hell. - [laughter]

ANNOUNCER: He claims if anyone is in the red, it's her...

I want to know how the [bleep] you got them boots.

ANNOUNCER: ...to the tune of $800 she never paid back.

...the whole truth and nothing but the truth,

- so help you, God? - CLARENCIA: I do.

Clarencia, please tell me why you're here today, baby.

Today I am here to sue my ex-friend,

ex-business partner, Xavier, for $1,500

for a podcast that I helped establish and I started up.

Once the podcast came off the ground,

he was supposed to split the monies with me

from the social media platforms.

Did he keep the money?

You don't see all these new boots he keep buying?

[laughter]

Xavier, give me your side of the story, baby.

Ms. Pat, I don't know why she brought me here

for something that I discovered

and something that I created myself.

- She was just there. - ALL: Ooh...

MS. PAT: And what was the name of the podcast?

- Shady Pines. - Shady Pines?

That sound like a retirement home.

[laughter]

What was the podcast about?

The podcast is just about me.

It's drama that goes on in our hometown

of Natchez, Mississippi.

- You from Mississippi? - Yes, ma'am.

- That's where Karlous's from. - Oh.

Not that part, I'm from the top.

- [laughter] - I'm from the top.

What was the deal with this podcast

you set up with him?

The deal was that I was going to bring

my brains and my budget.

He really not business-oriented.

He bought the ring light and the vibes.

The ring light?

MS. PAT: How much money did you put into it?

I put $1,500 into Shady Pines.

- Give me your receipts, girl. - Yes, ma'am.

Five hundred on the website, another $250 on the LLC

and everything like that.

MS. PAT: Did y'all have a contract together?

I definitely did.

What contract?

The one you signed after lunch.

Girl, we was at Burger King.

You act like we was at a five-star dinner.

[laughter]

CARMEN: Wait a minute, not a napkin.

JASMIN: Seal it with a kiss?

It's a legal binding contract as long as you...

- Now, who kissed this shit? - [laughter]

Oh! Oh!

I wanted you to match the lips

because I didn't want him to say what he just did.

Lord, have mercy.

Now, it say, "We declare this is a 50-50 partnership...

- Yes, ma'am. - "...on behalf of

"the new podcast, Shady Pines.

Let's go, bitches."

So he kept the money from what y'all made on social media.

Yes, ma'am.

Why didn't you pay her back?

You signed the contract and she kissed it.

It wasn't that much money.

Like, you know, $500 here, $600 there.

To be honest, I don't think that

I actually owed her anything

because she also borrowed $875 from me,

allegedly for her rent.

But I found out down the line that it was for a BBL.

- ALL: Ooh... - I got some proof.

- Let us see, turn around. - [laughter]

ANNOUNCER: Clarencia Letcher is suing Xavier Marvel

for her share of podcasting profits.

Xavier says she got her share.

Ms. Pat's ready to record her verdict for this "pod" couple.

She also borrowed $875 from me,

allegedly for her rent.

But I found out down the line that it was for a BBL.

- ALL: Ooh... - I got the proof.

MS. PAT: You bought an $800 ass?

XAVIER: This look the same.

CARMEN: Girl, if you don't get your money back

from them damn people...

You want me to walk in the middle?

KARLOUS: Yeah, let us see. What you got?

CLARENCIA: It's one bunk bed.

- It's not two. - [laughter]

I don't see shit.

She paid to go get stung by a wasp.

Baby, be quiet, you need to pay to get your knees done.

They already pleading guilty, knocking on each other.

[laughter]

- CARMEN: He a Minute Man. - Oh, sure.

Yeah, they knocking on Heaven's door, but it's okay.

So, you got a half a BBL for $875.

[laughter]

And he kept the money from what

y'all made on social media.

Right, the monetization.

Was you on the podcast every day?

All the time.

He was getting like 40-something viewers.

People started coming on there because of me.

- Really? - Yes.

Do you think they were coming to see you?

I'm basically the lead singer of the group

and she was just backup, so...

- CARMEN: Okay, Beyoncé! - [laughter]

MS. PAT: Xavier, give me the voice when people call in.

Pretend I'm calling in.

Ooh, Xavier, I got some tea for you.

We're having a great day here at Pimps and Players

dot-Shade [bleep] dot-com. How can I assist your call?

What did you just say?

Right now, you're not proving your case to me

that you are the star of this podcast.

If I was talking to one of my messy-ass cousins,

it would be much easier.

Come on, I got the bailiff.

Call in, bailiff.

- Hey... [bleep] - [laughter]

Okay, calm down, calm down.

I got to hear you.

Yes, we're having a great day here at Pimps and Players

dot-Shade-dot-com, where [bleep].

- [laughter] - Is this a hotel?

Now, let me hear you give us the tea.

Girl, allegedly, Megan was down there

with her man, Tay Tay done found out that they was

at the store together and they came up there

with not only her friends, but her man too.

Ooh!

Maybe the whole town know about it.

Well, I think we have a verdict, Pat.

[applause]

Okay, I'm going on over here to my jury.

I'm going to start with you this time, Jasmin.

Give me your point.

You came in here with all this energy,

and I wanted to believe you.

You said you was the Beyoncé of the group,

and you was giving us Michelle.

I'm just saying, I'm going with green.

KARLOUS: Now, I respect the good hustle.

For him to be out here just blowing the money

on little boots and little jackets,

that ain't doing nothing but trying to get

the rest of the money so she can go get

- the rest of her BBL. - [laughter]

All right, I've come to my final decision,

and I'm going to settle this once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the plaintiff, Clarencia.

Clarencia, you put $1,500 to start the podcast,

but Xavier gave you $875

to get one half of your ass done,

which leaves you a balance of $625.

I just settled it.

Y'all get out of my courtroom.

Yes, ma'am.

CARMEN: He had no circulation in them legs.

I know them tight-ass pants.

[laughter]

SAFAREE: Oh, he fell for real.

MS. PAT: He all right?

As soon as he got in the hallway,

the boot said, "Damn, we lost!" and fell down.

[laughter and applause]

Only on the Ms. Pat Show.

[rapping] ♪ Gavel in the hand with a side-eye glance ♪

♪ If you're acting up, you don't stand a chance ♪

[rapping] ♪ She ain't paying you back ♪

♪ I don't think she gonna pay you back ♪

Did y'all get a divorce because he can't drive?

He's seeing too many cars.

I really think you need a go-cart.

[laughter]

Why didn't you just come out your pocket and pay the $1,500?

It was just out of sight, out of mind.

It ain't no out of sight, out of mind.

She was right there, looking like you.

Every time you looked in the mirror, you should have

been saying, "Bitch, I owe you $1,500."