All language subtitles for Ms.Pat.Settles.It.S03E07.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

- All rise!
- Hey, y'all, I'm Miss Pat,

and I know the inside
of a courtroom.

Man, that girl is innocent!

You ain't the damn judge.

Get ready to see
real cases.

I want you out of my house.

Real drama and real money
on the line.

I gave her my kidney.

Give it back.

And I'm bringing my friends
to court as my jurors.

Lock her ass up!

Y'all may have
started this mess,

but you know
I'm going to settle it.

Ms. Pat.

You droppin' teeth.

MAN:
See, that's my tooth.

You smokin' dope.

That was my asthma pump.

Y'all must have
a good time together.

- We do.
- [laughter]

All rise, because court
is back in session.

♪♪♪

She's the only judge
giving clap back,

side eyes,
and sound advice.

All rise, for Ms. Pat.

♪♪♪

MS. PAT:
Y'all can have a seat.

How y'all doing today, jury?

- Good.
- We worked out.

Is there some type of dye
you put on your chest, Safaree?

Oh, um, I'm in the middle
of skin bleaching right now.

- JASMIN: What?
- CARMEN: Never mind,

that's coconut oil.

[laughter]

See, we need guys
like Safaree who gonna

go over and beyond
so men like me

who don't do that much
can be appreciated.

[laughter]

Bailiff, start bailiff-ing.

This is the case of Williams
versus Honey.

ANNOUNCER:
Plaintiff Tracy Williams

is suing her former
best friend for $630

for Nicki Minaj
concert tickets,

claiming the defendant
allegedly ghosted Tracy

after she bought
them both tickets.

I know she drink beer
out of the can.

[laughter]

ANNOUNCER:
Defendant Akela Harrison says

she didn't go
to the concert

because she decided
to go to Vegas last minute.

In her defense,
no concert, no cash.

Do y'all swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?

Before we get started,
I just want to let you know

this is my
emotional support jury,

so if you stress me out,
they're gonna be on your ass.

All right?

Tracy,
tell me why you here.

I'm here today because I am
suing my former best friend

for ditching out on me
on some concert tickets.

I paid $630
to go see Nicki Minaj.

Ooh.

[laughter]

CARMEN:
It's okay, it's okay.

It's been ten years, baby,
it's okay.

Oh, because it's Nicki Minaj.

- [laughter]
- [overlapping dialog]

Her and you...

Hey, hey, hey!
[bangs gavel]

Shut the hell up.

Wait a minute.

When did you buy
the ticket,

and how much
was the ticket?

$630 for both our tickets,

and I bought
the ticket back in...

I'm gonna say, when she,
uh, released the, uh...

- What the...
- [laughter]

I think, I think I bought
the tickets like, August.

Akela, what's your side
of the story?

Every year, we actually
go out and buy tickets,

for us to go, each other
to go to concerts.

It's just
this particular year,

I received an
invite to Vegas.

MS. PAT: You knew she bought you
these tickets?

Yes.
I planned on going,

and then someone called me
and invited me to Vegas.

Do you know
who this someone is?

I don't, because at the point
of when she did show up,

I ain't talked
to her since then.

I always a dude that get her
off her rocker, though.

Like, when she with
the girls, we cool.

So she like everybody?

I'm an every-sexual,
because I attract everything.

Ma'am,
that's called pansexual.

- Y'all do it all.
- No, no, no,

I'm not a pan-nothing,
I don't cook anything.

[laughter]

MS. PAT: Okay.

Let's get back to the case.

You got a receipt
for the tickets?

Yes, I have proof.
I had a ticket purchased.

The agreement is for
ten years now.

When it's your turn to pay,
you buy both tickets.

CARMEN: So she was never
supposed to give you

the money back,
is what we're saying?

No.
I spent that money, uh,

expecting her to be
at the concert, yeah.

Okay, get me together,
she spent that money paying.

- That money was spent.
- That money already spent.

I did not even
show up to the concert.

You didn't go at all?

But we wasn't gonna have
the experience.

MS. PAT: Okay.

Y'all must have
a good time together.

- We do.
- [laughter]

MS. PAT:
Wait a minute.

Why would you be scared
to tell your best friend

about a man?

Because of who the man was.

- MS. PAT: What?
- Ooh.

- Who's the man?
- He's here.

Well, bring him in, then,
let's see who he is.

CARMEN: Uh-oh.
Surprise witness, baby.

[laughter]

Oh, my [bleep]...

Oh, heck no.

That's my brother.

Ooh!

MS. PAT:
That's your brother?

Are you serious?

CARMEN:
The plot thickens.

Can you please tell me
why you didn't

tell your sister that
she was coming to see you?

I know her reaction.

I just wanted
to keep the peace

until I got further info

that this was
a beautiful thing.

Look at that smile.

CARMEN: Said he wanted
to keep the peace.

Kept a piece of ass, huh?

[laughter]

Was it good?
Was it worth it?

Uh-uh, I cannot hear this,
Your Honor.

Okay, fine.
I won't tell you about him.

Can I call you
about everybody else?

- JURY: Everybody else?
- Hey, hey.

Really, brother? And
you know she a [cough, bleep].

- [laughter]
- Hey, hey.

You're welcome
to step down, brother.

Okay.
I'm gonna go to my jury,

because, ooh, Lord.

JASMIN: She's stigmatized,
you know what I'm saying?

By the brother, came in,
laid it down.

I do believe that that
could've waited.

I mean, I feel like
this argument would've

been better on Facebook.

Damn what the streets say.

If that's your [bleep],
love her.

Tracy, how has this impacted
your relationship?

I just feel like
I lost my best friend.

How has this impacted
your relationship?

She won't answer, so that's
why we don't hang out.

If she would talk to me,
we probably could hang out.

Brother, what was you
raising your hand for?

I just wanted to keep
the peace and just say

I would like to help out.

Come on up here, come up,
stand next to your girl.

Okay, what you wanna
take care of, baby?

Yeah, I just wanted
to take care of the bill.

What is it?

$630.

[shouts]
$630!?

- TRACY: Yeah.
- [laughter]

Sit back down,
stay out of this.

To keep the peace,
I'm gonna go on--

I'm gonna still
take care of it

because I want them
to be happy again.

And I wanna see
that smile again.

Look at that.

KARLOUS:
Hey, hey, hey.

Don't be kissing her, though,
you ain't a couple yet.

She's still
in the streets, acting.

[laughter]

MS. PAT: Okay, okay.

I've come
to my final decision

and I'm gonna settle this
once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the plaintiff.

Court, you're ordered
to pay Tracy $630

for skipping out on these
Nicki Minaj tickets.

Yes, ma'am.

You was wrong.

And you know you was wrong,
and she's selfish.

So you might need
to find a friend that...

You wanna be my friend,
Ms. Pat?

[Bleep] no.

[laughter]

Y'all get out of
my courtroom.

Bye, thank you.

- Hold your head high, Queen.
- Thank y'all.

Fight the power.

I met him
at a adult company.

Can you show us
what you do?

Yes, ma'am, I can.

- One, two, three, four.
- [clapping in rhythm]

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Couch out, couch out.

Shut up, Deray!

Passsion, that's you?

Yes, ma'am,
with three S's.

So it's spelled wrong.

Pat, she walked in, I seen
her booty from the front.

I know he wanted that ass.

So how y'all
doing today, jury?

CARMEN: I'm good.

I've been working
on myself.

Becoming a better man,
I love that about you.

- Do it, man.
- [applause]

MS. PAT:
Don't listen to that crap.

Baby, this man have
turned over

so many new leaves,
he's a tree.

[laughter]

Come on, bailiff,
start bailiff-ing.

This is the case
of Rich versus Browning.

ANNOUNCER:
Plaintiff Shacoria Rich

is suing her former friend

and roommate,
Michael, for $2,000.

Uh-uh, move that folder,
you pregnant.

ANNOUNCER: She claimed
Michael stole her couch

and kidnapped her dog,
Bruno.

Defendant Michael Browning
denies stealing the couch

and claims he donated it

because she didn't
want it anymore.

Look like Marvin Gaye nephew.

ANNOUNCER: He also claims
she didn't take care of Bruno

and the dog
is better off with him.

Y'all swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help you, God?

- Yes.
- So, Shacoria, tell me why

we're here today,
girlfriend.

Okay, well, today I'm here
suing my ex-friend,

my ex-roommate

and my current
employee for $2,000.

He's not your baby daddy,
is he?

- He's not the baby daddy--
- Okay, okay.

...for $2,000.

When we lived together,

we were building
our company together.

When he left,
he took my dog and my couch.

So I want my couch back

and I want my dog back
immediately.

What kind of company
was y'all building?

A dance company.

We have a dance studio
in Decatur, Georgia.

And, Michael,
can you tell me your side

of this story, baby?

Well, Your Honor,
I moved out

and I took
the couch and the dog

because she didn't want
the couch anymore.

She does not care about
the dog that much at all.

She would not even
buy dog food for the dog.

She said, "I found out
dogs can survive

a couple days on water."
I said, oh, no.

That was just
a conversation.

And you didn't buy any.

How did y'all meet
in the first place?

I was teaching dance
at a high school

and I met him at a Christmas
event here in Atlanta.

He was renovating
his grandfather's house

and I said, well,
we live right down the street

from his studio, how about you
just come and live with me?

How long did he
stay there?

A couple of years,
some change.

And y'all wasn't dating?

No!

So he stayed with you
a couple of years?

Yes. We ended up on the same
adult company, so he--

Oh, what adult company?

It was just an adult
dance company

where we just all danced
together and stuff like that.

You just get your mind
out the gutter, Karlous.

I know what you're thinking.

[laughter]

What kind of dance
do y'all do?

Well, we do majorly
hip-hop, jazz, ballet, tap.

- Same.
- I teach gymnastics.

And I'm over the competitive
majorette team.

Can you show us
what you do?

Yes, ma'am, I can.

Nene, Carmen, why don't y'all
go out there with him?

- I'll try.
- All right.

So your first move,

you're going to go
to the right.

- One, two.
- One, two.

And then you're going
to hit three, four.

- NENE: Oh.
- CARMEN: Three, four.

Now you're going
to roll it out

and then you're going to go
seven, eight.

- From the top.
- Okay, I'm ready, I'm ready.

Five, six, seven, eight.

MS. PAT: Come on, y'all, let's
clap along, they got it now.

- One, two, three, four.
- [clapping in rhythm]

Five, six, seven, eight.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey,

- hey, hey, hey.
- [applause]

Okay, he's got skills!

At least he cleared
your living room out

so you can dance.

I just imagined you and another
taking the couch out.

You ready to take it out?

Five, six, seven, eight.

- Couch out, couch out.
- [laughter]

Shut up, Deray!

Do you have any evidence?

Well, I have some pictures
of my couch as well.

CARMEN:
That's a nice couch, Pat.

She probably made that baby
on this couch.

[laughter]

No.

Michael, what made you think
you could take her couch?

I dealt with her
for two years, almost,

complaining about a couch
she didn't want.

So when I moved out,

I took it
to a donation center.

But did she ask you
to do that?

She was going
to throw it out.

Did he tell you he was going
to donate your couch?

No, me and my daughter,
we walked in,

and the next thing you know,
I'm like, um...

Ain't no couch.

Where's the couch?

- What about the dog?
- He fell in love with the dog.

Now, I do admit some days,
he'll go take the dogs out

and walk the dog and feed
the dog and, you know,

stuff that I could do myself,

but he just got up first
and did it.

So, Michael,
what made you think

she wasn't
taking care of the dog?

Every morning
I had to wake up,

the dog was barking.

All Cruella did
was yell and say,

"Shut up,
shut up, shut up."

And even when she first
got the dog, if I may...

Yes.

For you and the jury.

- Mm-hmm.
- MICHAEL: There were issues.

Aw.

MICHAEL: That's one of
the Facebook posts

that she made online,

basically saying that dog
had to get the hell on.

Well, I didn't know
that he was going

to get that big
that fast,

and that day I was
kind of frustrated,

and I didn't realize
that he was a digger,

he was digging up my yard.

Why did you say
he got to go,

and then you get mad
when he take the dog, ma'am?

Well, I mean,
I wasn't being for real,

I was just, you know,
trolling a little bit.

And what's the dog's name,
and where is he now?

His name is Bruno, because
we don't talk about Bruno.

- Where's Bruno at, Michael?
- Bruno is at home.

He's at home doing swell,
he's doing great.

Oh, that's your dog now.

MICHAEL:
Bruno has his shots.

He actually just got
his teeth done.

They done gave
the dog some veneer.

[laughter]

It's mine.

That she's allergic to.

- You allergic to the dog too?
- SHACORIA: Some days.

- It just depends.
- Some days?

That's why I wash him.

All right, I'm going on
over here to the jury.

Come on, jury.

He stole it.
Lock his ass up.

I would think that the dog
should stay with him

because he's more
stable with him.

You can go and get
another dog when time is right.

How has this affected
your relationship?

It's really cut off, really,
a lot of our friendship.

We've been friends
since 2012.

It's like, I didn't think
that she would take that

without even asking me
if I want it.

My dog, especially.

- That's my dog.
- MS. PAT: And Michael?

It's distant, it's not
as close as it once was.

I really would love
to have my friend back

because I thought
I was doing everything

- for the betterment of her.
- Okay.

I've come to my
final decision

and I'm going to settle this
once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the plaintiff, Shacoria.

[applause]

Michael, you're ordered
to pay her $2,000

for the couch
that you donated

so she can get
off the floor.

I'm going to leave
the dog with him.

It sounds like the dog
is in a better home

and that dog going to eat good,
live good and sleep good.

So leave that dog
where he at.

And plus, you are
allergic to the dog.

So if you get the dog back,

all you're going to do
is sneeze on the dog.

All right, that's it.

Well, dance your way on
out of here, baby.

KARLOUS: Dance together
on the way out.

- NENE: Yes, honey.
- CARMEN: Okay.

He stole the hell
out of that dog.

That dog sat
on that couch like,

what are you doing?

Diverse owes me $500.

She kept coming in late.

Over 27 times.

Twenty-seven times?

We didn't even have
27 rehearsals.

I just feel like
he got mad because

I was talking to
somebody else in the cast.

JURY: Oh.

CARMEN: He was probably tall,
wasn't he?

[laughter]

MS. PAT:
How y'all doing today?

- CARMEN: Ready.
- NENE: Mm-hmm.

You better be ready.

All right, bailiff,
get to bailiff-ing, honey.

This is the case
of Stewart versus Maul.

ANNOUNCER:
Plaintiff Passsion Stewart

is suing her former employer,
Diverse, for $500.

That's what I'm talking about.

Passsion was cast
as an understudy

in a play Diverse
wrote and directed.

But when she was promoted
to the lead cast,

she said she never
got her lead cash.

Defendant Diverse Maul
admits he didn't pay Passsion,

but says it's because she was
a diva during rehearsals.

He walked in waving like
we supposed to know him.

CARMEN: I know.

Got some haters
in the room already.

ANNOUNCER: If you want
to act on his stage,

you can't act like that.

All right, Passsion,
that's you?

Yes, ma'am,
with three S's.

- So it's spelled wrong.
- [laughter]

Okay, Passsion, tell me
why you're here today.

So, Diverse owes me $500.

So I was acting
in one of his plays,

and I first came in
as an understudy.

But because the main lead
was not showing up,

he asked me if I could step
up and be the main lead,

and I said, hell yeah.

And he never gave me
my money.

MS. PAT: Diverse,
what is your side?

I'm here because
I gave her a chance.

You know, she came in
not really having experience.

She came in
as an understudy.

I lost my lead,
so I gave her the role.

But then she started acting
unprofessional

and all that different
stuff like that.

So I end up,
you know, offering her

what I thought
she was worth, $150,

so I don't think
I owe her nothing.

What was the pay
for a lead role?

$500 for the production.

And did you tell her you was
going to give her the $500?

Yeah,
I talked to her about it,

once she got the lead role,
she'd get the $500.

And so why didn't you
pay her the $500?

She kept coming in late.

You get docked ten bucks
for being late,

and then when you miss,
you get docked again, $50.

You wasting my time,
I'm taking your money.

- And you gave her a contract?
- Yeah.

Let me see it.

So how many times
were you late?

Like once, twice.

No, 27 times.

Twenty-seven times?

We didn't even have
27 rehearsals.

And you signed this
contract, right, Passsion?

- Yes.
- You signed a contract here

saying you would
be docked if you was late.

- Yeah.
- Did you know the rules?

I didn't read the contract.

So you signed a contract
that you didn't read?

We had a verbal
conversation about it.

But this is a contract,
this ain't verbal.

These are letters
on a paper.

See, I like you.

- Boy, stop.
- [laughter]

Let me ask you something.

Was your other actors
late at times?

- No.
- All the time.

Are you the only one that
didn't get paid all your money?

As far as I know, yeah.

Did you at least get
the $150?

He sent me the $150
through cash app,

but I happily declined it

because we had an agreement
that it was going to be

$500 that he was
going to send me.

- Stand on business.
- Exactly.

But a commitment
is a commitment,

- is what I'm saying.
- I mean, to be honest

with you, he right,
a commitment is a commitment.

You signed a contract stating
that you would not be late,

and if you're late, you're
going to get your money taken.

I don't even feel like
it's about that.

I just feel
like he got mad

because I was talking
to somebody else in the cast.

JURY: Ooh.

CARMEN: He was probably tall,
wasn't he?

[laughter]

Little man,
do you like her?

ANNOUNCER: Passsion Stewart
is suing Diverse Maul for $500

that she claims
she's owed for her work

as an understudy
in his play.

But Diverse says Passsion
was always late to rehearsal

and nearly ruined the show
before opening day.

Ms. Pat's about to settle
this theatrical drama.

Little man,
do you like her?

I don't mix business
with pleasure.

Now, after the production,
she could have gotten it, yeah.

That's a good man, right there.

CARMEN: What does the contract
say about hating?

Because that's
what you're doing.

Okay, thank you.

It's $10 the first time,
$50 the second time.

[laughter]

DIVERSE: Exactly!

- How old are you?
- I'm 37.

- How old are you?
- I'm 24.

I hate that y'all trying
to turn us in there.

I didn't want her.

MS. PAT: You wanted her
to play the role--

Pat, she walked in,
I seen her booty from the front.

I know he wanted that ass.

Oh, Lord, let me
go on over here

and let y'all talk
to my jury.

Come on, Karlous.

As old dude to old dude,

stay away from the 20,
20-anything.

I think he was just
looking for a way

to dock somebody's pay
so he can make more money.

You know what, I've done
a lot of plays in my day.

Baby, you should have
definitely read that contract.

Do not sign nothing
that you're not reading.

I've come to
my final decision.

I'm going to settle this
once and for all.

I'm ruling in favor of...

...the defense, Diverse.

[applause]

Dang! He's happy as hell!

MS. PAT: Diverse, you don't owe
Passsion anything.

She should have
read her contract.

You got to be smarter
than that.

Well,
I've just settled it.

Now y'all get out of
my courtroom.

Thank you.

MS. PAT:
I don't have--

I'm just too big for
a little, bitty man like that.

My bra is a 44H.

Ain't nothing I can do
with him.

A "H," titties?

Where do you shop
your bras at?

- AutoZone.
- [laughter]

She was supposed to do
an oil change,

- and she destroyed it.
- Damn!

KARLOUS: Did you check
the signal light fluid?

It wasn't in
the YouTube video.

Ain't no such thing
as no signal light fluid!

MS. PAT: You did a one-night
stand with this man.

Did you ever go back
for more?

It must have been horrible.

[laughter]

I got the contract,
right here.

What contract?

The one that
she did not give me

that's written
in invisible ink

- that ain't got nothing on it.
- Wow.

Had she did this to you,
how would you be feeling?

I'd have took my money
out of her ass. Excuse me.