Original subtitles

- Afternoon, gentlemen. - Hi there.

We received these invitations.

May I?

Okay. Eric Barnard, Jesse Steele. Liam McKay.

I didn't realize you all knew each other.

We did.

He's a stray we picked up.

That's me.

I'm the stray.

And you are?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I should have introduced myself.

I am Aaron Lambrakis, Nikos's son.

Well, well, let's get you to your room, shall we?

Okay.

It's just a human body.

Okay, let's do this.

Body positive.

- Enjoy your stay. - Thank you.

Jacques?

How's it going in here?

Jacques, you in the bathroom?

Hey, guys!

C'mon and have a drink!

Let's go!

- Yeah! - Woo!

Hey, let's go!

- Yeah! - Woo!

Bryan?

Montana?

What are you doing here?

I got an invitation from Nikos.

Yeah, me too.

My first posthumous invitation.

Same.

God.

This is wild.

I don't think I've seen you since...

Yeah.

Look, I don't love how we left things.

No, no hard feelings.

Not everyone is meant to work together.

It's not that I doubt your ability.

No, really, it is okay.

I never repped a fashion model before.

It's probably for the best it didn't work out.

You should be with someone that understands

that world inside and out.

Thank you for being so cool.

Of course.

Oh, our junk touched.

That'll happen in a place like this.

Cheers, guys!

Here's to a great weekend!

Do you know him?

No.

Obviously he recognizes me from work.

This seat taken?

It is now.

- Liam - Cassidy.

- What's up, fellas? - Hi, nice to meet you.

Alistair, can I steal you for a second?

Does it have to be right now?

It does.

Okay.

Ow, ow, ow!

Let go, dude!

My ears are my best feature.

Fuck! - I need your help.

I can't find Jacques anywhere

and I need to get everything ready for dinner.

And I told you I am not the help.

You're Nikos' son, too, dick!

While you've been fucking off,

doing whatever the hell it is you do,

I've been trying to keep Dad's business running.

And right now, our one remaining employee is MIA.

So I need you to step the fuck up

and help me honor our dead father's last request, okay?

Okay.

Just don't get your period all over the floor.

Oh, good.

I was hoping we'd get a second to ourselves.

What could you possibly say

that would be of interest to me?

So hostile.

I'd expect you to be a little nicer, all things considered.

I'm only gonna say this once.

But if you're planning on fucking with me,

then trust me when I say that you're not gonna-

Oh, hi, babe.

Hey.

Oh, this nice man also got that weird invitation.

I'm sorry.

I'm so bad with names.

- Montana Briggs. - Montana, that's right.

Eric Barnard.

I take it you're a fan of Jesse's?

It's okay, everybody is.

Actually, I'm not familiar with his work.

Ah.

Please, come in.

Who's thirsty, bitches?

Sorry.

What can I get you, gentlemen?

Vodka soda, please.

Cosmo.

What kind of beer do you have?

I'm a snowboarder.

I'm a little worried the other guests will feel jealous.

We're all getting such special treatment.

Oh, all the other guests have left, sir.

There's no one here but us.

Well, I guess at some point, we should all talk about

why we're here.

I'm assuming we all received the same invitation?

So there must be something that we all have in common.

Sorry, I can't tell.

Are you two pretending

or do you really not know?

Oh, you're not pretending.

Do you know why we're here?

It's obvious.

We were all at the same orgy.

Is that right? - That's right, babe.

Nikos's birthday orgy.

That's ridiculous

because I've never been a part of an orgy.

Well, I know that's not true.

Okay, I've definitely been in my share of orgies,

but I don't know who this Nikos guy is.

Sure, you do.

You know who he was.

Just like we all know who you are.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Was that supposed to be a flex?

Everyone on the planet knows who I am.

We sure do.

And are we supposed to know who you are?

I doubt it.

You're famous too, right?

I mean, I'm not chased down by paparazzi

like Kim Kardashian over here,

but I've been on a few magazine covers.

I knew I recognized you.

You were in the Olympics.

I am a publicist

and you should call me if you want

to get on even more magazine covers.

Please.

I can make you more money.

Let's do a scene. - Scene?

Are you an actor?

In a manner of speaking.

I recognize your work.

You've helped me release some stress

after a few tense late nights.

Ah, so you-

I perform in front of the camera,

and a lot of us do.

Isn't that right, Montana?

Wait, do you do porn?

No.

I'm a fashion model.

I do legitimate work.

Sorry, my mistake.

Okay.

Athlete, porn star, model, socialite, publicist.

What do you do?

He's an animal rights activist.

Wait, how do you know that?

I didn't tell you that.

I've seen you online.

And what about you?

I'm a professor of psychology

at the University of Massachusetts.

Or he was anyway.

- Babe! - Was?

What happened? - Gentleman...

Before his passing,

my father gave me a note in a sealed envelope.

He was always interested in numerology.

So it's no surprise that he wanted me to read this

to seven guests at seven o'clock on the seventh day

of the seventh month of the year.

So here goes.

"Watch this video."

I thought it would be a little more than...

Whatever.

Let's just watch it.

Oh, hello.

If you're watching this video, it means that I am dead.

So congratulations for outliving me,

you absolute cunts.

I'm sure you're all wondering

why I dragged you to the Gymnos.

Well, let's speak plainly, shall we?

Sons, earmuffs.

I spent most of my life playing the part of a heterosexual.

But after years of denying myself the pleasures of men,

I decided to make up for lost time.

For my 60th birthday, I threw myself an orgy.

Oh, well, naturally.

I asked for complete secrecy from the attendants,

but seven men who attended that party decided

to blackmail me, threatening

to expose my incredibly gay tendencies to the world

if I didn't pay them off.

All seven of those men are sitting around this table.

That's right.

Look around.

To the left, to the right.

Every one of you is a blackmailer.

First, I resented you, I hated you,

but I had to begrudgingly respect your work ethic.

You know how to make a buck.

As a tried and true capitalist, I doff my cap to you.

Hence, I want to give you this last gift.

In my will, I've split my fortune of $10 million, 10 ways.

Seven of you, my two sons,

and my valet, Jacques, get an equal percentage.

$1 million each.

That being said, I add the condition.

If one of you should meet your demise

before the will is enacted in two and a half days,

7:00 AM Monday morning,

your percentage will be split amongst the remaining heirs.

To put it simply, the fewer of you there are,

the more each one of you will inherit.

So do with that information what you will.

Kalo kynigi.

What was that he said at the end?

Kalo kynigi.

And what the fuck does that mean?

- It's Greek. - Greek for what?

Happy hunting.