Original subtitles

THE PLANE! THE PLANE!

TATTOO, DON'T TELL ME YOU STILL HAVE THE HICCUPS.

I DO BOSS.

I TRIED EVERYTHING,

BUT I CAN'T GET RID OF IT.

WELL, THAT'S ODD. BREATHING INTO A BROWN PAPER BAG

ALWAYS TURNED THE TRICK FOR ME.

MAY I SEE YOUR BAG?

NO WONDER. LOOK.

OH, WHO IS THAT?

BOSS! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

TO FRIGHTEN AWAY THE HICCUPS.

YOU ALMOST SCARED ME TO DEATH!

BUT I ALSO SCARED AWAY THE HICCUPS, DIDN'T I? HUH?

YES! FORMIDABLE! YOU DID, BOSS!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

NOW SHALL WE GO MEET OUR INCOMING GUESTS?

SMILES, EVERYONE! SMILES!

BOSS, WHO ARE THEY?

MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD, CHARLES AND PEGGY,

ALL THE WAY FROM SALINA, KANSAS,

WHERE THEY OWN A HARDWARE STORE.

WHY DO THEY LOOK SO UNHAPPY?

BECAUSE NEITHER OF THEM WANTS TO BE HERE, TATTOO.

HOW COME THEY ARE HERE?

THEY CAME HERE TO PLEASE THEIR THREE CHILDREN,

WHO PURCHASED THE FANTASY FOR THEIR PARENTS.

TO MAKE THEIR PARENTS MISERABLE?

NO, TATTOO. THEY WANT US TO RECREATE THE ROMANTIC WEEKEND

35 YEARS AGO WHEN MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD MET,

FELL IN LOVE, AND WERE MARRIED.

IT OCCURRED DURING ONE OF THE MOST DYNAMIC ERAS IN AMERICAN HISTORY...

1944, WHEN WORLD WAR TWO WAS IN FULL SWING.

IT'S A PRETTY ROMANTIC IDEA.

AH, BUT THERE IS ONE SLIGHT HITCH, TATTOO.

IN TRUTH, MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD,

WHEN THEY RETURN HOME, ARE GOING TO GET A DIVORCE.

AH.

CAPTAIN JEFF BAILEY,

PERHAPS THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS

ADVENTURER AND SOLDIER OF FORTUNE.

AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE HEROES TOO.

AND RIGHTLY SO, TATTOO.

CAPT. BAILEY IS KNOWN AS THE MAN WITH A THOUSAND ADVENTURES.

WHAT'S HIS FANTASY?

HIS FANTASY IS TO EARN $1,000,000,000

- BEFORE MONDAY MORNING. - IS THAT POSSIBLE?

PERHAPS, WHEN THE MAN HE WILL BE WORKING FOR IS J.D. PETTIGREW,

AND CAPT. BAILEY'S JOB WILL BE TO FIND

THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.

MY DEAR GUESTS,

I AM MR. ROARKE, YOUR HOST.

WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND.

AH, MR. ATWOOD, SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE BACK IN UNIFORM?

UNCOMFORTABLE, MR. ROARKE.

IT'S NOT THAT MY WEIGHT HAS CHANGED THAT MUCH.

IT'S MERELY SHIFTED POSITION, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

INDEED I DO!

AH, HERE COMES YOUR LOVELY PARTNER.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, MADAME.

IT'S MADEMOISELLE, TATTOO.

SINCE THIS IS FOR ALL PRACTICAL PURPOSES

THAT SPECIAL WEEKEND IN 1944,

WE SHALL PROCEED ON THE THEORY THAT THE TWO OF YOU ARE NOT YET MARRIED.

THAT EXPLAINS WHY I BILLETED YOU IN SEPARATE HOUSES.

THAT'S FINE.

PEG, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT LETTERMAN SWEATER?

OH, I FOUND IT HANGING IN THE CLOSET,

ALONG WITH THE REST OF THIS GETUP.

WELL IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,

I WOULD SAY THAT THAT IS HIS SWEATER.

DO YOU MEAN MR. BRICK HOWARD, MRS. ATWOOD'S FORMER FIANCEE AND B.M.O.C.?

HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BRICK HOWARD?

IT IS MY BUSINESS TO KNOW, MR. ATWOOD.

I AM BEING PAID RATHER HANDSOMELY TO RECREATE A VERY IMPORTANT

TIME FRAME IN YOUR TWO LIVES.

MR. BRICK HOWARD AND MANY OF YOUR FORMER FRIENDS

FROM THAT PERIOD ARE HERE ON THE ISLAND.

HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED?

IT IS BRICK HOWARD.

HE REALLY LOOKS GREAT, DOESN'T HE?

YEAH. JUST GREAT.

ARE YOU FOLKS READY TO GO?

- WHERE? - WHERE ELSE? TO THE SALINA, KANSAS USO,

WHERE THE TWO OF YOU ORIGINALLY FELL IN LOVE.

SHALL WE?

IT'S INCREDIBLE!

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

I DON'T BELIEVE IT EITHER.

EVERYTHING'S EXACTLY THE SAME AS IT WAS THEN, 35 YEARS AGO.

HOW DID YOU DO IT, MR. ROARKE?

PRIVILEGED INFORMATION.

THIS IS WHERE WE PART COMPANY, AT LEAST FOR NOW.

ENJOY YOURSELVES.

- MAY I ASK YOU A QUESTION, PLEASE? - SHOOT.

THERE IS SOMETHING I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

HOW COME A REAL SOLDIER OF FORTUNE LIKE YOU

CAN WORK FOR SUCH A STINGY OLD MAN LIKE J.D. PETTIGREW?

TATTOO, THAT'S NO WAY TO TALK ABOUT ONE OF OUR GUESTS.

IF YOU MUST KNOW, IT'S MONEY.

THAT'S ONE THING PETTIGREW HAS PLENTY OF.

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL. THAT'S PROBABLY OLD PETTIGREW NOW.

COME IN.

AH, MS. MASON.

MR. PETTIGREW, SO NICE TO SEE YOU.

NEVER MIND THE AMENITIES, MR. ROARKE.

NOW THAT MY SECRETARY'S FIANCEE,

THE FAMOUS CAPT. BAILEY, IS FINALLY HERE,

MAYBE WE CAN GET STARTED.

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, MR. PETTIGREW.

THE ONLY THING YOU ENJOY ABOUT SEEING ME

IS THE $1,000,000,000 YOU HOPE I'LL PAY YOU.

THAT DEPENDS ON MR. ROARKE HERE.

THE ONE THING I CAN'T AFFORD TO WASTE IS TIME.

I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM STRAIGHT.

WHEN I'VE HAD THE QUESTIONS, YOU SHALL HAVE THE ANSWERS.

I LIKE THAT.

ALL RIGHT. A SHORT TIME AGO,

I CAME INTO POSSESSION OF A CERTAIN CURIOUS OBJECT.

WHAT SORT OF OBJECT?

LET ME HAVE THE ENVELOPE.

BOSS! IT'S A HEAD!

A MAN'S HEAD!

A MOST INTERESTING TROPHY.

MAY I ASK HOW YOU CAME INTO POSSESSION OF THE ORIGINAL?

THAT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE!

LET'S SAY I ACQUIRED IT FROM A FELLOW COLLECTOR.

THE ONLY THINGS THAT DO MATTER ARE, NUMBER ONE...

IT CAME FROM ONE OF THE SCATTERED ISLANDS THAT

SURROUND THIS PLACE.

NUMBER TWO... IT HAS BEEN AUTHENTICATED

AND FOUND TO BE OVER 150 YEARS OLD,

YET IN PERFECT CONDITION.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY, MR. ROARKE?

BECAUSE OF THE WATER IT WAS TREATED IN,

WATER OF MYSTERIOUS, INDEFINABLE PROPERTIES.

MT TEAM OF SCIENTISTS IS CONVINCED

IT CAN ONLY HAVE COME FROM LA FUENTE DE LA JUVENTUD,

THE LEGENDARY FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.

FASCINATING.

SO NOW YOU KNOW WHY I AM HERE AND WHAT I AM AFTER.

AND I ASK YOU, DOES THIS FOUNTAIN REALLY EXIST

AND CAN IT BE FOUND?

OR ARE YOU SOME SORT OF CHARLATAN?

CHARLATAN?

WE NEVER PROMISE WHAT WE CAN'T DELIVER, MR. PETTIGREW.

THE FABLED FOUNTAIN DOES CERTAINLY EXIST.

AS DO ALL THE FANTASIES OF MAN'S IMAGINATION.

MAY I ALSO WARN YOU ABOUT THE ISLAND WHERE HE MUST GO TO FIND THE FOUNTAIN?

IT IS SAID THAT THE TRIBE OF HEADHUNTERS

WHO PRODUCED YOUR, UM, TROPHY

STILL EXIST.

IT MIGHT BE WISER IF YOU AND YOUR SECRETARY REMAINED HERE

AND LET CAPT. BAILEY TRY ALONE.

AND LET HIM RUN OFF AND SELL THE SECRET

TO SOMEONE ELSE? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!

HEADHUNTERS OR NO,

HIS LITTLE SWEETHEART AND I WILL FOLLOW HIM

EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.

SO BE IT.

I JUST HOPE THAT YOU ALL MAKE IT EVERY STEP OF THE WAY BACK.

HEY, CHARLIE! PEG!

IT'S ME, WILLIE TUCKER!

- WILLIE! - I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WILLIE, MY GOODNESS!

HELLO, WILLIE!

- IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. - WILLIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

MR. ROARKE INVITED ME AS YOUR GUEST.

HEY, COME ON, LET'S SIT DOWN.

THANK YOU.

YOU TWO LOOK TERRIFIC.

LIKEWISE.

WHERE'S YOUR BETTER HALF, WILLIE?

DORIS IS...

DEAD, PEG. ABOUT A YEAR AGO.

HER HEART.

- OH, WILLIE, I'M SO SORRY. - ME TOO, WILLIE.

WE'RE ALL SO DUMB, WE DON'T APPRECIATE WHAT WE HAVE UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE.

HEY, I DIDN'T COME ALL THIS WAY TO PUT A DAMPER ON THINGS.

WE HAD A GREAT LIFE TOGETHER.

CHARLIE, I GOT A GOOD BOY.

HE TEACHES SCHOOL.

WHAT ABOUT YOU TWO?

TWO BOYS AND A GIRL.

ALL MARRIED AS OF LAST MONTH.

WELL, NOW THAT THE NEST IS EMPTY,

I GUESS YOU TWO ARE REALLY LIVING IT UP.

HEY, DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?

NO, NOTHING, WILLIE. EVERYTHING'S FINE. SO TO SPEAK.

SO TO SPEAK? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

WELL, IT MEANS, WILLIE, THAT...

CHARLIE AND I ARE...

WELL, WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE.

YOU'RE PUTTING ME ON! NOT YOU TWO. NEVER!

NO, IT'S TRUE, WILLIE.

- WHAT HAPPENED? - NO ONE REASON. JUST...

WELL, AFTER 35 YEARS OF MARRIAGE,

WE JUST RAN OUT OF GAS. NO SPARKS.

ALL THAT DISTANCE.

I NEVER DREAMED I WAS COMING ALL THE WAY TO FANTASY ISLAND TO ATTEND A DIVORCE.

HEY, I HEAR BRICK HOWARD'S ON THE ISLAND. HE JUST GOT HIS THIRD DIVORCE.

IT WOULD BE FUNNY, WOULDN'T IT, IF YOU TWO GOT TOGETHER AGAIN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

REMEMBER THAT SONG?

THAT WAS ALWAYS YOUR SONG. HEY, DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YA?

DANCE TO IT.

ARE YOU PLAYING CUPID, WILLIE?

ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT?

EXCUSE US, WILLIE.

NOW, YOU HAVE MY CHARTS AND ALL MY INSTRUCTIONS.

I WOULD STILL ADVISE YOU, MS. MASON AND MR. PETTIGREW,

TO RECONSIDER. THE NATIVES OF THE ISLAND YOU'RE GOING TO

ARE CONSIDERED QUITE DANGEROUS.

WE'RE WASTING TIME!

I WILL NOT RELINQUISH COMMAND OF THIS EXPEDITION,

NOT TO BAILEY, NOT TO ANYONE! NOW LET'S GO!

HAVEN'T WE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING, MR. PETTIGREW?

HMM?

MY CERTIFIED CHECK FOR $1,000,000,000

MADE OUT IN BAILEY'S NAME.

BUT BEAR IN MIND, MR. ROARKE,

NOT ONE PENNY IS TO BE TURNED OVER TO HIM UNLESS HE FULFILLS OUR CONTRACT.

UNLESS WE FIND THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH, HE GETS NOTHING!

FAIR ENOUGH, MR. PETTIGREW.

UNDERSTOOD.

ALL RIGHT, START THE ENGINE. AND BE QUICK. WE'VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO.

ALL RIGHT.

BOSS, ARE WE EVER GONNA SEE THEM AGAIN?

WHO'S TO SAY, TATTOO?

WHO'S TO SAY?

SEE ANYTHING?

NOTHING. BUT WE'RE HERE, ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS THE ISLAND AND THE LAGOON.

ALL THE CHARTS MATCH.

GIVE ME THE PACKS.

I HAVE THE FEELING SOMETHING'S WATCHING US.

I HAVEN'T COME THIS FAR TO TURN BACK NOW,

NO MATTER WHO'S THERE, OR WHAT'S THERE.

I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE UNTIL WE FIND THAT WATER.

ALL RIGHT, THIS WAY. LET'S MOVE FAST.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER? - I DON'T KNOW.

SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT.

JUST BACK AWAY SLOWLY.

THANKS FOR LOANING ME YOUR DATE.

BOY, AM I OUT OF SHAPE!

YOU'RE STILL GOOD, WILLIE. VERY GOOD.

YOU MAKE ME LOOK GOOD.

PEG TELLS ME YOU OWN A HARDWARE STORE BACK THERE IN SALINA. VERY GOOD.

IT'LL SOON BE IN THE PAST TENSE. I'M SELLING THE STORE.

CHARLIE'S GOING INTO SEMI-RETIREMENT.

HAWAII.

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO OPEN UP THAT BAIT SHOP

YOU USED TO TALK ABOUT WHEN WE WERE IN THE NAVY.

YOU HAVE GOT A REAL MEMORY.

HEY, YOU DON'T NEED A PARTNER, DO YOU?

SORRY, WILLIE, BUT THIS IS STRICTLY A ONE-MAN OPERATION.

I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, BUT YOU AND PEG...

ALL THIS TALK ABOUT A DIVORCE...

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY.

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN HAWAII.

SALINA'S MY HOME. ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

YEAH, BUT HAWAII. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THERE?

OH, YES. CHARLIE'S TAKEN ME THERE SEVERAL TIMES.

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE,

BUT MY ROOTS ARE IN SALINA.

CHILDREN, THE GRANDCHILDREN.

MEMORIES.

FOLKS, THIS IS THE LAST DANCE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S THAT TIME ALREADY.

CARE TO DANCE, PEG?

YES.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE?

I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE BRICK MIGHT BE HERE.

I GUESS ALL OF OUR LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY DIFFERENT, WOULDN'T THEY,

IF YOU TWO HAD GOTTEN MARRIED?

REMIND ME TO TELL YOU SOMETIME

THAT YOU ARE STILL A VERY GOOD DANCER.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

YES, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

FOR LOTS OF THINGS, CHARLIE.

YOU DIE!

JEFF, I'M SCARED.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ALL SHRUNKEN HEAD CANDIDATES.

YOU! BIG FELLA! CHIEF!

WE COME AS FRIENDS.

GREAT WHITE CHIEF BRING MAGIC.

MAGIC BOX. BIG STRONG MAGIC!

MAGIC!

EVEN STRONGER MAGIC.

I HAVE HIS SOUL, HIS SPIRIT CAPTURED.

IT IS TRUE. LOOK. IT IS TRUE.

IF THE PRIEST BOTHERS US, I WILL KEEP HIS SOUL.

WHY YOU BRING MAGIC?

COME TO THIS VILLAGE?

TO SEE YOUR MAGIC WATER.

I KNOW YOU HAVE IT.

COME.

THIS MUST BE IT.

I THINK WE HAVE FOUND IT.

THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!

IT IS CALLED THE DEW OF LIFE.

ONCE IT RAN FULL AND BROAD.

NOW, ONLY A FEW DROPS EACH DAY.

CHIEF, PRIESTS, AND ELDERS ALLOWED TO DRINK NOW AND THEN TO STAY ALIVE.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

ME?

140.

SOME, 200 YEARS, 300.

OH!

THIS WATER, I WOULD BUY SOME OF IT.

I WILL PAY YOU MONEY. ALL THE MONEY YOU WANT!

SILVER MONEY! GOLD!

GOLD NOT MAKE MAN YOUNG.

BUT YOU MUST SHARE IT.

I DON'T WANT IT ALL.

JUST A LITTLE. JUST A LITTLE.

WATER GIFT OF GODS.

NOT SELL FOR GOLD.

OH! OH!

I WILL HAVE THIS WATER!

NO!

YOU MUSTN'T KILL GREAT WHITE CHIEF.

HIS MAGIC WILL KILL YOU ALL.

I WILL HAVE... I WILL HAVE...!

YOU GO!

NEVER COME BACK, OR YOU DIE!

BOSS, BOSS, YOU GOTTA HELP ME.

THE HICCUP IS BACK.

YES, SO I HEAR.

THE REMEDY I GAVE YOU DIDN'T WORK, HUH?

NO. THE ONLY THE I'VE GOT IS A BUMP IN THE HEAD.

FROM HOLDING YOUR BREATH?

I HELD IT SO LONG THAT FAINTED.

YOU KNOW WHAT WAS SO GREAT ABOUT 1944

WAS WE WERE TOO YOUNG TO WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE.

THE ONLY THING THAT WAS IMPORTANT WAS NOW, TODAY.

LET TOMORROW TAKE CARE OF ITSELF.

MMM.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE

WHEN YOU SAW YOUR ELDEST SON FOR THE FIRST TIME.

TOMMY TOOK ONE LOOK AT ME AND STARTED BAWLING HIS HEAD OFF.

YOU WERE A TOTAL STRANGER.

TOMMY WAS WHAT, A YEAR OLD BEFORE YOU EVER SAW HIM.

13 MONTHS. I DIDN'T THINK THE NAVY WOULD EVER SHIP ME HOME.

I'M GLAD THEY DID. I WAS PARTICULARLY GRATEFUL YOU WERE AROUND

WHEN SCOTTY GOT SO SICK.

I REMEMBER THE DOCTOR SAYING "POLIO."

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I REMEMBER WHAT WE DID.

WE GOT DOWN ON OUR KNEES RIGHT THERE IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM

AND ASKED GOD TO SPARE SCOTTY.

IT REALLY WAS A MIRACLE, CHARLIE.

NOT EVEN A LIMP.

WE HAD SO MUCH GOING FOR US IN THOSE DAYS, PEG,

BUT WHERE DID IT GO?

ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO, ENOUGH OF THIS EXCLUSIVITY!

WE'RE ALL GOING SWIMMING, AND YOU'RE BOTH GONNA GO WITH US.

♪ ♪

PEG.

STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AS EVER.

COME ON! COME ON!

I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D GET OUT OF THERE ALIVE.

I KEEP THINKING THEY'RE WATCHING US.

I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. IN FACT, I KNOW YOU ARE.

LOOK! LOOK WHERE THE WATER TOUCHED MY HAND!

IT'S LIKE MY SKIN WHEN I WAS YOUNG!

UNBELIEVABLE!

IT'S INCREDIBLE.

I COULD BE THAT WAY ALL OVER, YOUNG AGAIN!

IF I ONLY HAD A LITTLE MORE OF THE WATER.

BAILEY, I WILL DOUBLE MY OFFER.

$2,000,000,000 FOR ONE CANTEEN OF THE WATER!

THAT'S INSANE! THEY'LL KILL US ALL IF WE DON'T GET OFF THE ISLAND!

- COME ON. - $3,000,000,000!

YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DEAL. $3,000,000,000, PAYABLE ON OUR RETURN.

YES! YES!

ARE YOU BOTH CRAZY?

YOU HEARD HIM. FOR $3,000,000,000 I'D GO TO HELL AND BACK.

TAMA, HAND ME THE CANTEEN AND MY PISTOL.

YES, SIR.

TINA, GET ABOARD THE BOAT.

ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY.

WATCH FOR ME ON THE BEACH.

WHEN YOU SEE ME, START THE BOAT ENGINE.

I'LL TRY AND SWIM OUT TO YOU.

IF I DON'T MAKE IT, YOU KEEP GOING.

DON'T WAIT FOR ANYTHING, GOT IT?

- YOU GOT IT. - GOT IT.

OKAY.

ONE MORE POINT AND I WIN. READY?

READY.

OUT.

21. I WIN.

JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS. I NEVER WAS ANY GOOD AT SPORTS.

SPEAKING OF SPORTS...

GOOD AFTERNOON. I'M SURE YOU ALL REMEMBER BRICK HOWARD.

BRICK.

HOW COULD THEY FORGET THAT PEG AND I WERE ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED?

HOW ARE YOU, PEG?

FINE, BRICK, AND YOU?

NEVER BETTER. YOU STILL MARRIED TO THIS SWABBIE?

SHE IS.

WIN A FEW, LOSE A FEW.

HEY, WILLIE, HOW ARE YOU?

OKAY, BRICK.

I IMAGINE YOU HAVE A GREAT DEAL TO TALK ABOUT,

SO IF YOU'LL KINDLY EXCUSE ME.

ME TOO.

YOU'RE LOOKING MIGHTY PRETTY, PEG.

OH, THANKS...

I SEE YOU'RE STILL WEARING MY LETTERMAN SWEATER.

SHE WAS COLD.

IT WAS THE ONLY ONE ON THE CLOSET.

LET THE LADY SPEAK FOR HERSELF, CHUCK BABY.

THE NAME IS CHARLES.

WHY SO HOSTILE? WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN HOW MANY YEARS?

WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA ASK ME WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING?

OH. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?

I'M AN AIRLINE PILOT. THE BIGGIE, 747.

- FROM L.A. TO PARIS FRANCE. - OH, HOW NICE.

OH, MR. ROARKE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT YOU OPENING A BAIT SHOP IN HAWAII? HAH.

CAN'T CUT IT IN THE BIG CITY, HUH, CHAZ?

OH, BRICK, WHY DON'T WE DANCE?

- SHALL WE? - YOU GOT IT, BABY.

AH, GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. ATWOOD.

- NOT REALLY. - SOMETHING IS WRONG?

THAT FLYBOY YOU BROUGHT OVER TO THE USO, BRICK HOWARD,

HE'S WHAT'S WRONG.

I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, MR. ROARKE.

IT'S JUST THAT I NEVER COULD COMPETE AGAINST MR. EVERYTHING.

NOBODY COULD.

COMPETE AGAINST HIM FOR WHAT?

PEG. SHE COULDN'T WAIT TO GET OUT ON THAT DANCE FLOOR WITH HIM.

OH.

IT'S BEEN SAID THAT, UM,

JEALOUSY IS BUT A BLISTER ON THE HEEL OF MATRIMONY, MR. ATWOOD.

IT HAS ALSO BEEN SAID THAT BRICK HOWARD IS A FIRST-CLASS JERK.

AND I'M THE GUY WHO SAID IT.

BUT ONCE YOU WON PEGGY'S FAVOR OVER HIS, DIDN'T YOU?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN'T DO IT AGAIN?

I'M 54 YEARS OLD. I'M NOT THE GUY I ONCE WAS.

BRICK HOWARD IS ALSO 54, ISN'T HE?

YES, BUT HE DOESN'T LOOK IT.

AT LEAST NOT TO ME.

WELL, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, MR. ATWOOD.

MY ADVICE WOULD BE FOR YOU TO STAND UP AND FIGHT FOR PEGGY.

IF THAT IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. ATWOOD.

COME HERE OFTEN?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY ON BOARD.

- I'M COMING WITH YOU. - ARE YOU CRAZY?

YEAH, PROBABLY. BUT YOU CAN'T PULL THIS OFF BY YOURSELF.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN PULL IT OFF. NOW GO BACK.

I'M NOT GOING BACK! LISTEN, I'VE HANDLED GUNS ALL MY LIFE AND I'M GOOD.

- OKAY. BUT IF THIS THING BACKFIRES... - IT WON'T.

NOW WHY DON'T YOU BEGIN PRACTICING THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING?

BECAUSE I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THOSE NATIVES

WITH TWO MORE SHRUNKEN HEADS TO THEIR CREDIT, THAT'S WHY.

- STILL WANT TO GO? - MM-HMM.

COME ON.

COME ON, CHARLIE, CHEER UP.

WHAT FOR? PEG'S GONE OFF WITH THAT LEECH OF A PLAYBOY.

WRONG.

MIND IF I SIT DOWN?

IT'S NOT TOO ORIGINAL, BUT THERE'S AN OLD SAYING

THAT THREE'S A CROWD. GOOD LUCK.

- NOW, ABOUT THIS AFTERNOON... - PEG, YOU DON'T OWE ME ANY EXPLANATION.

MR. ROARKE PRONOUNCED US SINGLE FOR THE WEEKEND, REMEMBER?

CHARLIE, I GRABBED BRICK AND STARTED DANCING WITH HIM

TO PREVENT WHAT WAS RAPIDLY DETERIORATING INTO A FIGHT.

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT.

I REPEAT, YOU DON'T OWE ME ANY APOLOGIES.

I SUPPOSE IF ANYONE SHOULD APOLOGIZE,

IT SHOULD BE ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

OUR LIFE TOGETHER.

I GUESS I ALWAYS KNEW THAT IT WAS A ONE-SIDED LOVE AFFAIR.

I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU BY MARRYING YOU ON THE REBOUND FROM BRICK.

IT WASN'T FAIR.

I LOVED YOU SO MUCH,

I GUESS I HOPED THAT IN TIME...

IRONIC, ISN'T IT? THIS CORNBALL LUAU.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHERE WE FIRST THOUGHT WE WERE IN LOVE.

I THINK THAT'S WHAT TURNED ME ON TO HAWAII IN THE FIRST PLACE.

SOMEHOW I JUST GOT IT FIXED IN MY HEAD...

YOU AND ME, AND THE LUAU...

TWO DAYS LATER I WAS OFF TO THE WAR.

YOU KNOW, THAT WAS THE LAST TIME WE WERE ALONE,

JUST YOU AND ME.

THERE WERE THE KIDS, AND...

- CHARLIE... - PEG.

I'M SORRY. I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU.

MAYBE YOU AND BRICK CAN BE HAPPY NOW.

I WON'T STAND IN YOUR WAY.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH IT?

- WHAT? - ALL THAT MONEY. THE $3,000,000,000.

BANK IT, WHERE IT'S SAFE.

WHY DON'T WE SPLURGE ON AN ACAPULCO HONEYMOON?

WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE AND CAN'T QUALIFY FOR A CREDIT CARD,

YOU DON'T SPLURGE ON ANYTHING.

YOU'RE JUST CHEAP.

YOU NOTICE ANYTHING STRANGE ABOUT THE VILLAGE?

- WHAT? - HARDLY ANY MEN.

MEANS THEY PROBABLY WENT OUT TO MAKE SURE WE LEFT THE ISLAND.

WHICH MEANS WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

WAIT. YOU CAN'T GO DOWN THERE NOW IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.

WITH THEIR APPETITES I DON'T WANT TO HANG AROUND FOR DINNER.

JUST STAY HERE. IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, RUN FOR THE BOAT.

- JUST RUN AND KEEP RUNNING. - JEFF!

COME ON! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

- I DROPPED THE GUN BACK THERE! - FORGET THE GUN!

COME ON! WE GOTTA MAKE THE BOAT!

OH!

I HURT MY LEG!

OKAY, WE'RE HERE! START THE ENGINE!

JEFF!

JEFF, I CAN'T MAKE IT! MY LEG!

COME ON, TINA! WE GOT IT MADE!

JEFF! HURRY! I CAN'T!

CANTEEN! SAVE THE CANTEEN!

JEFF, HURRY!

JEFF, SAVE YOURSELF! HURRY!

THE WATER!

THE WATER!

THE WATER! GO BACK! GO BACK.

GO BACK TO THE WATER.

SIR! SIR! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? CAN I HELP?

PEG?

OH, I WAS HOPING YOU'D COME BACK.

PEG, I DON'T...

BUT...

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE WITH BRICK.

OH, CHARLIE.

THERE'S SOMETHING WE REALLY SHOULD HAVE DISCUSSED 35 YEARS AGO.

THE FACT THAT YOU MARRIED ME ON THE REBOUND

AFTER BRICK JILTED ME FOR SOME GENERAL'S DAUGHTER

WHO COULD HELP HIS CAREER.

- LOOK, PEG... - I GUESS I ALWAYS LET YOU THINK

THAT WAS A LITTLE TRUE.

BUT YOU LOVE HIM. YOU CAN'T DENY THAT.

I DID LOVE HIM, YES.

AND WHEN HE JILTED ME I THOUGHT I'D DIE.

AND THEN THERE WAS YOU. AND I REALIZED

THAT I NEVER KNEW WHAT LOVE WAS BEFORE YOU.

BUT THAT WAS 35 YEARS AGO.

WHY DID YOU COME BACK HERE TONIGHT?

I SUDDENLY REMEMBERED TAKING A VOW

THAT SAYS, "UNTIL DEATH DO US PART".

YOU MEAN, YOU STILL LOVE ME?

WELL, I'M CERTAINLY NOT TALKING ABOUT BRICK HOWARD.

HE COULDN'T CARRY YOUR TACKLE BOX.

TACKLE BOX?

IT IS WHAT YOU CALL IT, ISN'T IT? I MEAN, I THOUGHT I OUGHT TO START

USING THE OFFICIAL TERMINOLOGY

IF I'M GOING TO HELP YOU WITH THE BAIT SHOP.

YOU MEAN YOU'RE COMING WITH ME?

BUT WHAT ABOUT SALINA?

OH, SALINA ALREADY HAS A BAIT SHOP.

PLEASE, LET ME COME.

AH, MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR STAY WITH US.

WE WERE BOTH PREPARED TO HATE IT

BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE A FAIRY TALE.

WE ALWAYS TRY TO PROVIDE HAPPY ENDINGS.

THAT NOSTALGIA TRIP BACK TO 1944

WASN'T BAD EITHER.

BUT WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE NOW.

AND 35 MORE YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

OH, AT LEAST.

- GOOD-BYE. - GOOD-BYE, MRS. ATWOOD.

- GOOD-BYE, TATTOO. - GOOD-BYE, MRS. ATWOOD.

- GOOD-BYE. - MR. ATWOOD.

THANK YOU, MR. ROARKE. THANK YOU, TATTOO.

MS. MASON, CAPT. BAILEY, ANY REGRETS?

NONE AT ALL. BROKE OR NOT, WE'LL MAKE IT TOGETHER.

WELL, I WOULD SCARCELY FEEL BROKE WITH $1,000,000,000.

I DON'T GET IT. J.D.'S CHECK.

WELL, YOU FOUND THE FOUNTAIN, DIDN'T YOU?

TECHNICALLY THAT'S ALL YOU AGREED TO DO.

YOU SEE, BEFORE MR. PETTIGREW WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL,

WHERE HE WILL RECOVER,

HE ASKED ME TO GIVE YOU THAT CHECK.

I GUESS PEOPLE FOOL YOU SOMETIMES. HUH, MR. ROARKE?

SOMETIMES.

THANK YOU.

GOOD-BYE, CAPTAIN.

GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU, MS. MASON.

THANK YOU.

WELL, BOSS, THAT WAS NICE.

YES IT WAS.

OH, NO. NOT AGAIN, TATTOO.

WELL, I'M AFRAID THIS CALLS FOR THE ULTIMATE REMEDY.

I CAN'T GUARANTEE THAT IT WILL WORK, BUT AN OLD ISLAND LEGEND

INSISTS THAT IT WILL.

SO FAR SO GOOD, BUT WHAT DO I DO NEXT?

YOU WILL HAVE TO KISS EACH ONE OF THESE COMELY MAIDENS

AND THEN, ACCORDING TO LEGEND, YOUR HICCUPS WILL DISAPPEAR.

I GET TO KISS ALL THREE OF THEM?

I'M AFRAID SO, TATTOO.

HEY, BOSS, IT WORKS! IT REALLY WORKS!

OF COURSE. YOU SEE, EVERY LEGEND HAS ITS...

BOSS, YOU'VE GOT IT!