Original subtitles

THE PLANE! THE PLANE!

AHH... WHAT A MAGNIFICENT DAY!

THE AIR IS LIKE WINE, IS IT NOT, MY FRIEND?

YOU CAN DRINK THE AIR LATER, BOSS.

LET'S MEET OUR GUESTS. YOU REMEMBER?

THE PLANE!

THE PLANE!

OF COURSE, BUT WHY SUCH A RUSH?

BECAUSE TODAY IT'S MY TURN.

YOUR TURN? FOR WHAT, TATTOO?

TO GIVE A FANTASY TO ONE OF OUR GUESTS, JUST LIKE YOU.

BOSS, YOU DIDN'T FORGET, DID YOU?

FORGET WHAT, TATTOO?

WELL, YOU PROMISED ME THAT I COULD GIVE A FANTASY ON MY OWN.

YES, SOMETIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE,

BUT I HAD NO IDEA YOU'D BE READY SO SOON.

BUT I AM READY... I MADE ALL THE RESEARCH,

ALL THE PREPARATIONS, AND I'M READY.

OH, HOW EXCITING FOR YOU,

AND WHO IS THE LUCKY PERSON, OR PERSONS,

WHOSE FANTASY YOU'VE CHOSEN TO WORK ON?

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU.

THIS TIME IT'S YOUR TURN TO BE SURPRISED.

I CAN HARDLY WAIT.

SMILES, EVERYONE,

SMILES.

DR. CARLSON AND HIS WIFE DENISE FROM SAN FRANCISCO.

HE LOOKS LIKE A VERY CONFIDENT MAN.

WITH REASON, MY FRIEND.

DR. CARLSON IS ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL MEN IN THE MEDICAL PROFESSION TODAY.

STILL CONSIDERABLY UNDER 40,

HE'S CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD OF HIS OWN HOSPITAL.

IF HE'S SO SUCCESSFUL, WHAT'S HIS FANTASY, BOSS?

THE DOCTOR IS SEEKING CAPITAL FOR THE DREAM OF HIS LIFE;

A VAST NEW HEALTHCARE COMPLEX.

BOSS, IF HE'S TRYING TO RAISE SOME MONEY ON US,

LET ME PUT HIM ON THE NEXT PLANE HOME.

YOU'LL BE EVEN MORE SHOCKED WHEN YOU LEARN THE SUM HE NEEDS... $50 MILLION.

YES, AND HE HOPES

WE CAN HELP HIM RAISE IT BY MONDAY MORNING.

AH, WHO ARE THOSE ATTRACTIVE YOUNG LADIES?

THEY ARE THE ONE I CHOOSE TO GIVE THE FANTASY TO.

IT FIGURES.

EVELYNE KASTENBAUM AND DEE DEE VERONA.

FOR YEARS THEY HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD

AS CHORUS GIRLS IN LAS VEGAS.

BUT THEIR FANTASY IS GOING TO FIX ALL THAT.

AND WHAT IS

THEIR FANTASY? BOSS...

THEY WANT TO MEET AND MARRY MILLIONAIRES.

MY DEAR GUESTS, I AM MR, ROARKE, YOUR HOST.

AND I'M YOUR HOST. MR. TATTOO.

WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND.

THE FOOD IS SENSATIONAL.

WE CAN STUFF OURSELVES WITH FOOD AT HOME.

CAN'T YOU EVER RELAX?

DR. CARLSON, MRS. CARLSON, I HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELVES.

OH, NO, PLEASE, PLEASE, ST DOWN.

IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE YOUR STAY MORE COMFORTABLE...

MR. ROARKE, I UNDERSTOOD THAT YOU COULD HELP ME

RAISE FUNDS FOR A VERY IMPORTANT PROJECT.

YES, THE CARLSON MEDICAL CENTER, DR. CARLSON.

YES... CAN YOU DO IT?

I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND ABRUPT,

BUT I DON'T LIKE TO WASTE OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME, OR MY OWN.

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE GUTENBERG FOUNDATION HAVE

THEIR HEADQUARTERS RIGHT HERE ON FANTASY ISLAND?

GUTENBERG...?

YES.

THEY'RE ONE OF THE BIGGEST CHARITABLE FOUNDATIONS IN THE WORLD,

RIGHT UP THERE WITH FORD AND GETTY.

YES... I'VE ARRANGED FOR YOU TO DISCUSS YOUR PROJECT

WITH MR. GORDON ROSS.

FINANCIAL ADVISOR FOR THE FOUNDATION.

I'M VERY GRATEFUL, MR. ROARKE, AND I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

NO, YOU DO THINGS FASTER THAN I EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE.

NOW, IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOT A LOT

OF PREPARING TO DO FOR THAT MEETING.

MR ROARKE.

UH, MAY I?

OF COURSE.

MRS. CARLSON, I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.

SINCE THE DOCTOR SEEMS PRIMARILY INTERESTED IN FINANCE,

WHEN HAS HE TIME TO PRACTISE MEDICINE?

HA...

I'VE ASKED THAT QUESTION A LOT.

UM... PARDON ME IF THIS QUESTION

SOUNDS A LITTLE STRANGE,

BUT DON'T YOU WANT THE DOCTOR TO HAVE HIS FANTASY,

A GIANT COMPLEX NAMED AFTER HIM?

OF COURSE.

I WANT...

WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM.

I JUST WISH I KNEW WHAT THAT WAS.

EXCUSE ME, MR. ROARKE.

HMM...

INTRIGUING, MY FRIEND. WHAT'S THAT?

WELL, WHEN YOU OFFERED TO SHOW ME THE PREPARATIONS

FOR EVELYNE AND DEE DEE'S FANTASY, I NEVER EXPECTED

TO BE BROUGHT TO THIS OLD OPERA HOUSE.

WHY NOT? IT'S SIMPLE.

WHERE DO CHORUS GIRLS MEET RICH GUYS?

UH... NOW, LET ME THINK.

IN THE THEATER?

RIGHT.

I'M PUTTING ON A BROADWAY MUSICAL FOR MILLIONAIRE BACKERS.

OH, YES, THAT ALWAYS

BRINGS IN THE BIG SPENDERS,

BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO FIND A NEW BROADWAY MUSICAL?

HIT IT, SWEETHEARTS!

LET'S GO, BOSS.

AH, AH, AH...

OKAY, LET'S DO THE BOY MEETS GIRL NUMBER FROM THE TOP.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL PLAY THE GIRL.

I'LL PLAY THE BOY.

♪ WELL, HERE WE ARE ♪

♪ DOWN BY THE SEASHORE ♪

♪ WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? ♪

♪ ME WITH MY BEACH UMBRELLA ♪

♪ ME WITH MY FLOPPY HAT ♪

♪ LET'S PUT ON OUR SWIM SUITS ♪

♪ AND GO FOR A PLUNGE ♪

♪ I'D RATHER COOK SOME WEENIES ♪

♪ AND HAVE SOME LUNCH ♪

MAN, DOES THIS STINK?

MMM...

BERNIE...

YEAH? OUR PRODUCER.

MR. TATTOO, YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.

WE GOT SOME SENSATIONAL NEW SONGS FOR...

COOL IT, BOYS, COOL IT.

I'M SURE YOU KNOW MR. ROARKE.

WELL, BERNIE AND JACK,

WHEN I HIRED YOU TO PERFORM IN THE FANTASY ISLAND LOUNGE,

ON A TRIAL BASIS,

I NEVER DREAMED YOU HAD BROADWAY ASPIRATIONS.

OH, WE DON'T LET THIS INTERFERE WITH OUR GIG IN THE LOUNGE, SIR,

AT LEAST, NOT MUCH.

MR. TATTOO SAID THE SHOW WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING AND HE'S THE BOSS.

REALLY?

BOSS, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

I JUST SAID THAT I WAS THE PRODUCER,

AND THAT I NEEDED A WRITER AND...

A STORY AND SOME MUSIC.

SO, BERNIE AND JACK WERE THERE WITH A FULL TRUNK OF... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I THINK TATTOO FINDING YOU FOR THE JOB

WAS A STROKE OF NEAR GENIUS.

BUT WHERE DO EVELYNE AND DEE DEE FIT INTO THE PRODUCTION?

OH, THEY'RE GONNA BE THE STARS OF THE SHOW.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS,

THE GIRLS ARE GONNA BE HERE IN AN HOUR.

WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK STAGE AND I'LL MEET YOU THERE?

RIGHT, RIGHT.

THAT'S VERY GOOD... BOSS.

BRIEFLY, IT IS THE HOSPITAL OF THE FUTURE.

A CONDITION SENSOR FROM EACH PATIENT BED

FEEDS INTO THIS DATA BANK,

WHICH IS CAPABLE OF BOTH DIAGNOSIS AND PROGNOSIS.

IN THE EVENT OF COMPLICATIONS,

THIS CENTRAL COMPUTER ALERTS A TEAM OF SPECIALISTS.

COSTS ARE REDUCED, EFFICIENCY INCREASED.

BECAUSE THESE HIGHLY TRAINED DOCTORS AND SURGEONS

CAN MONITOR PATIENTS AT A DOZEN HOSPITALS

SIMULTANEOUSLY.

BUT WITH EVERYTHING SO REMOVED,

WHAT ABOUT THE TRADITIONAL

DOCTOR-PATIENT RELATIONSHIP?

WILL THEY EVER SEE EACH OTHER?

WELL, I'M AFRAID THE EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT IS A CASUALTY OF ECONOMICS.

IT'S UNFORTUNATE, BUT IT CAN'T BE HELPED.

I SEE.

I'M SURE YOUR PLAN FITS OUR FUNDING CRITERIA.

HOWEVER, YOU'LL HAVE TO PRESENT THE CONCEPT

TO THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE FOR THEIR FINAL APPROVAL.

FINE, WHEN CAN I SEE THEM?

NOW THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

THEY'RE ADJOURNING THEIR ANNUAL MEETING TOMORROW AFTERNOON.

IF YOU COULD HAVE DINNER WITH THEM TONIGHT.

JUST TELL ME WHERE.

THE VILLA IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND.

I'LL CALL THEM AND TELL THEM YOU'RE COMING.

YOU IDIOT!

DON'T YOU HAVE BRAINS ENOUGH TO PULL OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!?

GOOD LORD, YOU'RE HAVING A BABY.

HURRY UP, EVELYNE.

IF WE'RE LATE FOR THIS FIRST REHEARSAL,

MR. TATTOO WILL THINK WE'RE UNPROFESSIONAL.

HEY, WELL, IT WON'T BE MY FAULT, YOU KNOW.

I'M THE ONE THAT'S NEAR-SIGHTED

AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GLUED HER EYE LASHES TOGETHER.

HEY, LOOK.

OH...

THEY BETTER BE ABLE TO SING, ACT AND DANCE

OR THIS SHOW'S GONNA BE A TURKEY.

NOW THOSE ARE TWO REAL CUTE GUYS.

LOOK AT THE TALL BLOND ONE.

HE LOOKS A LOT LIKE ROBERT REDFORD, DOESN'T HE?

EXCEPT HE HAS A DIFFERENT FACE AND A DIFFERENT BODY.

HE'S TOO OBVIOUS. LOOK AT THE LITTLE GUY AT THE PIANO.

NOW THERE'S A GUY WITH SENSITIVITY.

I LIKE THE WAY HIS GLASSES FALL DOWN HIS NOSE.

DON'T WORRY, THE GIRLS WILL BE PERFECT,

OR I WOULD NEVER HAVE CHOSE THEM MYSELF.

NOW, THEY MUST BE BACKSTAGE.

COME IN, GIRLS.

A LITTLE TRAVELLING MUSIC FOR EVELYNE AND KATIE.

YOU'RE OUR NEW STARS, HUH?

HI, LISTEN, I'M BERNIE.

WHOEVER YOU ARE. I'M DEE DEE.

SHE'S DEE DEE, I'M EVELYNE.

I'M, I'M JACK TERRY.

OH, HOW DO YOU DO?

CUT THE SMALL TALK.

AND YOU KIDS, YOU BETTER REHEARSE AND LEARN THE NEW WEDDING NUMBER.

I WANT TO DO IT FOR THE BACKER'S AUDITION.

RIGHT, THE BACKER'S AUDITION.

WE HAVE TO BE REAL SHARP FOR THOSE RICH MILLIONAIRES, DON'T WE, EVELYNE?

HEY, KASTENBAUM. HUH?

THE MILLIONAIRES.

OH, WE HAVE TO GO REHEARSE.

WE HAVE TO REHEARSE NOW. REHEARSE, RIGHT.

WELL, YOU'LL BE TERRIFIC...

I WROTE YOU A SONG.

A SONG? I WROTE THE WHOLE SHOW.

THEY SHOULD HAVE A VERY SUCCESSFUL COLLABORATION.

THEY SEEM TO HAVE FOUND

WHAT MIGHT BEST BE DESCRIBED AS INSTANT RAPPORT.

TATTOO... TATTOO?

TATTOO?

WELL, BOSS... WHEN YOU'RE A BIG PRODUCER,

YOU'VE GOT TO PRESENT THE PROPER IMAGE.

OH, SURE.

GET IN THERE...

YOU OKAY?

HERE, LET ME SEE.

THE PAINS ARE STILL COMING 10 MINUTES APART.

THAT MEANS THE BABY WON'T BE HERE FOR A WHILE YET.

IS THIS YOUR FIRST?

YES.

I'M HOPING FOR A BOY.

I'LL HAVE THE TIRE CHANGED IN JUST A MINUTE. DOES THIS THING RUN?

OH, YES.

WELL, I MAY BORROW IT FROM YOU AFTER I DROP YOU OFF.

WHERE'S THE NEAREST DOCTOR?

IN THE VILLAGE, ABOUT 12 MILES AHEAD.

12 MILES.

IS THERE A PHONE THERE?

NO.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT THERE.

YOU MUST BE A VERY IMPORTANT MAN.

WHAT'S YOUR BUSINESS?

ACTUALLY, I'M A DOCTOR.

THAT'S SO GOOD!

OUR DR. TOMA IS VERY OLD,

BUT VERY, VERY KIND.

THEY SAY HE DOES NOT KEEP UP WITH THE TIMES.

I'M SURE YOU KNOW MUCH MORE.

OBSTETRICS ISN'T EXACTLY MY SPECIALTY.

OPS...?

DELIVERING BABIES.

OH...

YOU DON'T NEED ME.

I'LL GET YOU TO DR. TOMA SOON,

AND YOU AND THE BABY WILL BE JUST FINE.

OH, NO!

I'M SORRY. IT DOES THAT A LOT.

AHH! ARE YOU HURT?!

IF THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME, WHY DON'T YOU GET IT FIXED.

THAT WOULD COST MONEY AND I HAVE NONE.

CAN YOU WALK?

I WISH YES, BUT I DON'T THINK SO.

OH, BOSS. YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR MY NEW HIT SONG.

OH? I WROTE IT FOR THE SECOND ACT.

UH-HUH. WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN

AND PLAY IT AND I WILL SING IT FOR YOU?

THEN, REHEARSALS ARE GOING WELL, I PRESUME.

OH, FABULOUS. WHY DON'T YOU START WITH THE INTRO?

NATURALLY, NATURALLY.

HOW ARE THE GIRLS GETTING ALONG WITH BERNIE AND JACK?

THEY SEEM TO

FIND ONE ANOTHER QUITE INTERESTING.

OH, THEY'RE OKAY, BOSS, THEY'RE OKAY.

I'LL GET THEM MARRIED TO MILLIONAIRES.

WHY DON'T YOU START AGAIN? THIS IS PERFECT NOW.

ALL RIGHT.

♪ THEY SAY A KNIFE IN THE BACK CAN CAUSE ♪

♪ YOU PAIN ♪

♪ WELL, SO DOES AN OLD ANKLE SPRAIN ♪

♪ CONCUSSION CAN'T KILL YOU ♪

♪ BUT IT CAN THRILL YOU ♪

♪ OR CARRY YOUR HEART HIGH ABOVE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE NOTHING ♪

♪ I SAY NOTHING ♪

♪ HURTS LIKE LOVE ♪

♪ SHOOBY-DOOBY-DOO, SHOOBY-DOOBY-DOO ♪

♪ YES, NOTHING ♪

♪ HURTS LIKE LOVE ♪

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, BOSS? A REAL GRABBER, HMM?

YES, I FELL I HAVE DEFINITELY BEEN GRABBED.

I'M SURE IT WILL MAKE A VERY...

LARGE IMPRESSION.

I'M GONNA STICK IT IN THE SHOW RIGHT AWAY.

OH...

AND, BOSS? YES.

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? OF COURSE.

ABOUT EVELYNE AND DEE DEE.

DO YOU THINK THEY LIKE BERNIE AND JACK BETTER THAN THE MILLIONAIRES?

LOVE IS AN IRRATIONAL

ELEMENT, TATTOO.

IT OFTEN HAS NOTHING WHATEVER TO DO WITH COMMON SENSE.

DON'T WORRY, BOSS.

THEIR FANTASY WAS TO MARRY MONEY.

WELL, I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT.

ARE YOU OKAY?

OHH!

ALL RIGHT, NOW JUST HANG ON, HANG ON.

THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.

THAT A GIRL.

OKAY?

GOOD GIRL.

JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE TO REST AND WE'LL GO ON.

YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.

THE PEOPLE, YOUR PATIENTS,

MUST LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

I DON'T HAVE MUCH TO DO WITH THE PATIENTS.

WHY NOT?

IT'S NOT MY JOB.

BUT WHAT IS YOUR JOB?

I RAISE MONEY.

I MAKE SURE THAT THINGS RUN RIGHT.

UNDERSTAND?

BUT A DOCTOR WHO DOES NOT DOCTOR,

THAT IS VERY STRANGE.

I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING.

JUST HOLD ON...

HOLD ON.

I'M GONNA SEE IF I CAN GET SOME WATER,

GET THIS THING STARTED.

♪ IF YOU GOTTA BE MARRIED ♪

♪ TO THE PREACHER MAN CARRIED ♪

♪ BUT YOU'RE NERVOUS ♪

♪ I'LL UNDERSTAND ♪...

THERE GOES MY HEEL. I'M SORRY.

YOU OKAY? YEAH.

OW, OW, OW! THAT'S WHERE IT IS.

OH, YOU POOR KID. YOUR ANKLE LOOKS SWOLLEN.

I THINK A LITTLE MASSAGE WOULD HELP.

YEAH?

HI.

HI.

YOUR MUSIC'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT CARRIES WITH IT A MESSAGE OF HAPPINESS ON WINGS OF MELODY.

THAT'S VERY POETIC.

THANK YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE REHEARSING!

WE WERE JUST TAKING A BREAK.

WELL, NEXT TIME YOU CAN TAKE YOUR BREAK

IN A SEPARATE PART OF THE ROOM.

COME ON, GIRLS. I WANNA TALK TO YOU.

COME ON.

LISTEN, I SET UP A COCKTAIL PARTY

SO YOU CAN MEET SOME MILLIONAIRES BEFORE THE AUDITION.

NOW, I WANT EVERYTHING TO GO PERFECTLY.

EVELYNE... MILLIONAIRES.

YEAH.

WELL, WE WANT EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT TOO,

SO WE'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

HELLO!

ANYBODY THERE?

THIS LADY NEEDS HELP.

IN THERE.

ADELA... OH, MY.

THERE YOU ARE. ADELA...

WHERE'S THE DOCTOR?

HERE'S NOT HERE. AN EMERGENCY. A FARMER GOT HURT.

HIS TRACTOR, IT OVERTURNED.

WHEN WILL HE BE BACK?

WHEN HE IS FINISHED, SIR. I AM THE DOCTOR'S MIDWIFE.

OH, GOOD, GOOD.

THIS LADY WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU UNTIL THE DOCTOR COMES BACK.

THANK YOU, AND GOOD LUCK.

SIR, SIR!

SIR, I KNOW THIS GIRL.

THE DOCTOR IS VERY WORRIED ABOUT HER.

SHE HAS LOST THREE BABIES.

IF THIS BABY'S NOT TURNED RIGHT,

SHE WILL HAVE MUCH TROUBLE.

MAYBE SHE WILL DIE THIS TIME IF THE DOCTOR'S NOT HERE TO HELP HER.

THEN FIND HER HUSBAND, HAVE HIM GO FOR THE DOCTOR.

HER HUSBAND? HE WAS KILLED SIX MONTHS AGO.

THERE IS ONLY HER...

AND THE BABY.

AFTER I FINISH MAKING HONEYMOON FOLLY A HIT,

I WILL MAKE A MUSICAL VERSION OF MOBY DICK.

THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO DO IS TO GET A DANCING WHALE.

HA, HA... THAT'S NOT TOO HARD, IS IT?

HAVE A BIT MORE CHAMPAGNE, DEE DEE.

I LOVE TO WATCH YOUR NOSE CRINKLE WHEN THE BUBBLES ATTACK.

HEY, FUNNY!

YOU'RE A FUN GUY, FREDDIE. THANK YOU.

BUT EVELYNE AND I ARE LATE

FOR REHEARSAL AND WE GOTTA GO.

OH, THEN YOU MUST HAVE DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT. I THINK I'M MAD FOR YOU.

WILL YOU EXCUSE ME? WE REALLY HAVE TO GO.

CERTAINLY.

REHEARSAL.

GOODBYE.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

A REAL LIVE MILLIONAIRE IS CRAZY ABOUT ME.

YEAH!

OOH, IS HE GORGEOUS TOO.

MINE ISN'T THAT GORGEOUS,

BUT, LISTEN, HE'S GOT TREMENDOUS DRIVE.

I THINK HE'S IN LOVE ALREADY.

WELL, THIS IS WHAT WE WAITED FOR, RIGHT?

YEAH.

YEAH... RIGHT.

SO WHAT DO I FEEL SO ROTTEN FOR?

HERE I HAVE A MILLIONAIRE ON TAP AND ALL I CAN

THINK ABOUT IS THAT CRUMMY SONGWRITER JACK.

FIGHT IT, EVELYNE.

YOU HAVE TO TURN YOURSELF TO STEEL AND GO FOR RICHES

OR IT'LL BE JUST LIKE IT WAS IN LAS VEGAS ALL OVER AGAIN.

EWW... I THOUGHT YOU LIKED BERNIE.

I DO, BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET INFATUATION RUIN MY LIFE.

BESIDES,

FREDDIE IS A WONDERFUL PERSON.

HE COLLECTS PORCELAIN.

OOH, NICE.

HEY, SEE IF YOU CAN GET HIM TO SEND

ME AND DEWITT A SINK FOR A WEDDING PRESENT.

SOMETHING TELLS ME I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

OH, MR. ROARKE.

MRS. CARLSON, I'M AFRAID THERE IS A PROBLEM.

THE DOCTOR'S CAR WAS FOUND ON THE ROAD.

THERE'S BEEN A SLIGHT ACCIDENT.

NOTHING SERIOUS, NOTHING SERIOUS, BUT HE WASN'T FOUND.

DIDN'T HE ARRIVE AT THE VILLA? I'M AFRAID NOT.

I AM GOING TO TRY THE ROAD AND PERHAPS I CAN FIND HIM.

YOU'RE CERTAINLY WELCOME TO JOIN ME IF YOU WISH.

OH, I'LL BE READY IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES.

OHH!

OHH!

THE PAINS ARE FASTER NOW.

THREE MINUTES APART.

IS SOMETHING WRONG, SIR?

NOTHING...

JUST LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING TO MISS AN APPOINTMENT.

OH, IT'S THE DOCTOR.

GOOD.

NOW YOU JUST HANG ON. YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.

DOCTOR, THERE'S A PATIENT IN THERE WAITING FOR YOU.

WHO ARE YOU?

WELL, I'M JUST A GOOD SAMARITAN WHOSE JOB IS DONE.

RIGHT, ARCH THE BACK. BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL!

VERY NICE!

GREAT!

OKAY, OKAY, THAT'S IT.

ALL RIGHT, TAKE FIVE, EVERYBODY.

WE WANT TO TALK TO OUR STARS PRIVATELY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER? DID WE GOOF? NO.

UM... ACTUALLY, IT WOULD PROBABLY BE BETTER

IF WE TALKED TO YOU ALONE.

JACK TALKING TO EVELYNE,

AND ME TALKING TO YOU.

BUT WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME, AND SINCE WE'RE PARTNERS,

WE DON'T HAVE ANY SECRETS, SO HERE GOES.

WE LOVE YOU.

HE MEANS THAT HE LOVES YOU AND I LOVE YOU.

I KNOW WE HAVEN'T PROVED TO YOU THAT WE CAN GET TO BROADWAY,

BUT YOU'LL ALWAYS GET THE BEST FROM US.

I KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING IS CRAZY,

BUT WE'RE STILL DOING IT.

WE WANT YOU TO MARRY US.

UH, HIM, HER, AND YOU...

IT ISN'T THAT WE DON'T LIKE YOU A LOT.

ME, YOU, HER, HIM.

IT'S JUST THAT...

THAT...

IT'S JUST THAT IT WOULD BE WRONG FOR US,

BECAUSE WE DIDN'T COME TO FANTASY ISLAND TO GET MARRIED, AT LEAST, NOT TO...

I'M SORRY.

WELL, WE WISH YOU ALL BEST.

PLACES, EVERYONE, FOR THE WEDDING NUMBER.

DR. TOMA, HAVE YOU SEEN BY ANY CHANCE A GENTLEMAN...

MR. ROARKE, I MUST HAVE YOUR HELP.

THERE'S A GIRL INSIDE. HER WATER'S BROKEN.

BUT THE BABY'S BREACH. IT WON'T COME OUT.

CAN'T YOU HELP HER?

I WILL IF I HAVE TO, BUT I DON'T WANT TO CHANCE IT.

SHE NEEDS A CAESAREAN.

I'M NOT OPERATING ANY MORE.

BUT THE GIRL SAID THERE WAS MAN HERE. HE'S A DOCTOR.

HE'S ON HIS WAY TO GUTENBERG VILLA.

HOLD ON AS BEST YOU CAN, DOCTOR.

I'LL TRY TO CATCH UP WITH HIM.

MRS. CARLSON?

I THINK I'M NEEDED HERE. CAN YOU USE ANOTHER NURSE? I USED TO BE PRETTY GOOD.

OH, THANK YOU.

I'LL BE BACK SOON.

AH, HELL!

YOU ARE NEEDED BACK AT THE VILLAGE, DOCTOR. IT'S THE GIRL.

DR. TOMA FEELS SHE NEEDS A CAESAREAN.

LOOK, ROARKE, THAT'S A SIMPLE OPERATION.

DR. TOMA'S AFRAID HE'S OVER HIS HEAD. HE'S AN OLD MAN.

HE'S AFRAID THE GIRL MIGHT DIE IF HE OPERATES.

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

I'M ASKING THE GUTENBERG FOUNDATION FOR $50 MILLION!

YES, FOR THE CARLSON MEDICAL CENTER.

PEOPLE HAVE BABIES EVERY DAY. SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

AND I'M SORRY FOR YOU, DR. CARLSON.

DO WE STILL HAVE HER, DOCTOR?

BARELY, I THINK.

I DOUBT IF WE COULD HAVE WAITED MUCH LONGER.

DOCTOR...

THE BABY WON'T...

NOW, DON'T WORRY.

WE'RE GONNA GIVE HIM SOME HELP.

TRUST ME.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST FINE.

WE'LL TAKE THE BABY BY C-SECTION.

ARE YOU READY, NURSE?

YES, DOCTOR. I HAVE EVERYTHING PREPARED.

IT'S A BOY!

OH, WONDERFUL.

LOVELY.

AND THE MOTHER?

RESTING, AND DOING WELL.

I'VE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH THE FOUNDATION BY OUR CB RADIO.

THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE UNDERSTANDS WHY YOU'RE LATE

AND WILL WAIT FOR YOU.

YOU BETTER TELL THEM THAT I'M NOT COMING.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CARLSON MEDICAL CENTER?

LET SOMEBODY ELSE BUILD IT.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF GOOD ENGINEERING DOCTORS

WHO CAN PUT IT TOGETHER WITHOUT ME.

YOU KNOW, I'D ALMOST FORGOTTEN THAT THIS

IS WHAT MEDICINE IS ALL ABOUT.

MR, ROARKE, CAN I TELL HIM NOW?

I THINK YOU SHOULD, YES.

I HAD A FANTASY TOO.

THAT SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN TO GIVE US BACK OUR MARRIAGE.

THANKS FOR GIVING ME BACK THE DOCTOR

I MARRIED.

WHY SO SAD, MY FRIEND?

BOSS, I BLEW IT.

WHAT?

THE GIRLS. THEY DON'T LOVE THE MILLIONAIRES.

THEY LOVE THE SONG WRITERS.

WHAT SHALL I DO, BOSS? THEY ARE MISERABLE.

WELL...

IF YOU COULD ENGINEER

A HAPPY UNITING OF THE LOVERS...

DEE DEE WITH BERNIE, AND EVELYNE WITH JACK.

ALMOST THE WAY IT HAPPENS ON STAGE...?

IN THE WEDDING NUMBER...?

BOSS!

AND NOW, FUTURE BACKERS,

HERE COMES THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY SHOW.

THE BIG WEDDING NUMBER, WHERE THE TWO LEADING LADIES

MARRY THE DANCING MILLIONAIRES

AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

♪ WE'RE GOING TO A WEDDING ♪

♪ WE DON'T EXPECT TO CRY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE GETTING MARRIED CAN BE SUCH FUN ♪

♪ WHEN A GIRL HAS FOUND A GUY ♪

♪ SO, HERE'S THE PREACHER ♪

♪ REVEREND JONES ♪

♪ HE'LL TIE THE LOVER'S KNOT ♪

BOSS, HE'S PERFECT. WHO IS HE?

THE REVEREND ABNER MOONEY, FROM CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA.

HIS FANTASY WAS TO APPEAR IN A MUSICAL.

FORTUNATELY, HIS REQUEST CAME IN LAST WEEK.

WELL, I HOPE THEY DON'T KILL ME WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED FOR REAL.

AND NOT TO MILLIONAIRES.

♪ HERE COMES THE BRIDE ♪

♪ AND THEN THE GROOM ♪

♪ IF YOU WANNA GET MARRIED ♪

♪ YOU MAY HAVE TO BE CARRIED ♪

♪ TO THE PREACHER MAN BURIED ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE NERVOUS ♪

♪ AT SAYIN' I DO ♪

♪ DO YOU? ♪

♪ WE DO ♪

♪ DO YOU? ♪

♪ WE'LL DO IT TOO ♪

♪ AND WHEN YOU GET MARRIED ♪

♪ THE BRIDE'S GOTTA BE CARRIED ♪

♪ ACROSS THE THRESHOLD ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE ♪

♪ IT'S OFFICIAL ♪

♪ TIME FOR A RIDE ♪

♪ YOU'RE MARRIED ♪

♪ PLEASE KISS THE BRIDE ♪

BY THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME, I HEREBY PROCLAIM,

YOU, DEE DEE VERONA AND BERNARD PARKER

AND YOU EVELYNE KASTENBAUM AND JACK TERRY,

MAN AND WIFE.

YOU MEAN, WE'RE MARRIED? REALLY?

OH, YES.

HIM TO HER AND ME...

♪ NOW THE FUTURE BELONGS TO YOU ♪

♪ BECAUSE YOU SAID I DO AND I DO ♪

♪ NOW YOU'RE REALLY MARRIED ♪

♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE CARRIED ♪

♪ TO THE PREACHER MAN ♪

♪ YOU ARE MARRIED ♪

♪ THE GIRLS DID NOT CRY ♪

♪ THEY HAVE EACH FOUND ♪

♪ A WONDERFUL GUY ♪

I REALLY FAILED, BOSS.

THEY DIDN'T MARRY MILLIONAIRES.

WELL, ACTUALLY,

BERNIE AND JACK HAD A FANTASY TOO.

THEY DID?

THEY ARE VERY SUCCESSFUL BROADWAY DRAMATISTS,

BUT NOBODY IN NEW YORK WOULD GIVE THEM

A CHANCE TO DO A MUSICAL, SO...

BOSS, THEY ARE SUCCESSFUL PLAYWRIGHTS? YES.

THEN THEY MUST HAVE A FEW BUCKS IN THE BANK.

A FEW MILLION, TO BE EXACT.

THEN THEY GOT THEIR MILLIONAIRES!

THEY GOT MARRIED TO THEIR MILLIONAIRES.

I DID IT! I REALLY PULLED IT OFF, DIDN'T I, BOSS?

YOU CERTAINLY DID, MY FRIEND, YOU CERTAINLY DID.

CONGRATULATIONS, MY FRIEND.

THE SHOW WAS A SMASH.

BUT IT'S NOT THE END, BOSS. NOT YET.

NO?

THEY DIDN'T DO MY BEAUTIFUL NUMBER.

OH... YOU REMEMBER? YOU PROMISED?

YES, I DID, DIDN'T I?

HERE, BOSS.

LIGHTS...

MAESTRO, INTRODUCTION, PLEASE.

♪ THEY SAY A KNIFE IN THE BACK ♪

♪ CAN CAUSE YOU PAIN ♪

♪ WELL, SO DOES ♪

♪ AN OLD ANKLE SPRAIN ♪

♪ CONCUSSION CAN'T KILL YOU ♪

♪ BUT IT CAN THRILL YOU ♪

♪ OR CARRY YOUR HEART HIGH ABOVE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE NOTHING ♪

♪ I SAY NOTHING ♪

♪ HURTS LIKE LOVE ♪

♪ SHOOBY-DOOBY, SHOOBY-DOOBY ♪

♪ YES, NOTHING ♪

♪ HURTS LIKE LOVE ♪

YEAH...!

THANKS!

GOOD LUCK AND A LOT OF HAPPINESS.

PRETTY PROUD OF YOURSELF, AREN'T YOU?

CONGRATULATIONS, MY FRIEND.

GOODBYE, MR. ROARKE, AND THANKS.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

GOODBYE, DOCTOR, MRS. CARLSON.

GOODBYE.