Original subtitles

THE PLANE! THE PLANE!

GOOD MORNING, BOSS.

GOOD MORNING, MY FRIEND. AND WHAT HAVE YOU THERE?

DO YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU USED TO TELL ME

THAT I WAS GETTING TOO INVOLVED WITH MONEY,

AND THAT I SHOULD GET INTO FINER THINGS LIKE ART?

THAT WAS MY ADVICE, YES.

AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY TAKING IT?

OH, BOSS, I ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR ADVICE.

WELL... WELL.

AND UH, WHICH OF THE ARTS ARE YOU GETTING INTO?

I'M GETTING INTO MUSIC.

MUSIC... AH.

I'M GOING TO BE STUDYING THE TRUMPET.

THE TRUMPET?

WHAT AN INTERESTING CHOICE.

I'M GOING TO BE PRACTICING THREE TIMES A DAY

UNTIL I GET BETTER THAN LOUIS ARMSTRONG.

AND YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR THE DIFFERENCE.

OH, YES, YES. I'M SURE I WILL.

I'M SURE I WILL.

SMILES, EVERYONE. SMILES.

AH, MR. CHARLES PRESTON OF DETROIT, MICHIGAN.

HE LOOKS VERY NERVOUS.

OH, REALLY?

WELL, HE WASN'T TOO NERVOUS

TO SEND US HIS CERTIFIED CHECK FOR $10,000.

OH, I LOVE NERVOUS PEOPLE. THEY HAVE A LOT OF ENERGY.

YES.

WHAT'S HIS FANTASY?

ONE SHARED BY MILLIONS OF PUT UPON, FED UP MALES

THE WORLD OVER, TATTOO.

HE'S TIRED OF A FAMILY AND BUSINESS

THAT MAKES ENDLESS DEMANDS ON HIM,

SO HE'S ADEQUATELY PROVIDED FOR HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN,

AND NOW WANTS TO LIVE A SIMPLE CAREFREE EXISTENCE.

NO PAST, NO FUTURE, NO MONEY WORRIES

BECAUSE HE WANTS NO MONEY, NOT EVEN ONE CREDIT CARD.

IN OTHER WORDS, MR. PRESTON'S FANTASY

IS TO BE A HAPPY, CAREFREE BEACHCOMBER.

BEACHCOMBER? HE WANTS TO LIVE LIKE PAUL GAUGUIN.

PERHAPS.

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT HE HOPES.

MRS. MABEL JARVIS.

SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S GRANDMA.

TO BE MORE PRECISE,

SHE IS GRANDMOTHER TO FIVE SOMEONES.

ALL OF WHOM LOVE HER VERY MUCH.

WHAT'S HER FANTASY?

TO PLAY HER FAVORITE CHARACTER IN FICTION.

YOU SEE, MRS. JARVIS IS AN AVID MYSTERY READER,

AND HER FAVORITE AUTHOR IS DAPHNE WALLACE.

OH, SHE'S GOING TO PLAY AUNT DAPHNE.

YES.

I READ ALL OF HER MYSTERY BOOK.

THEY ARE VERY EXCITING AND VERY SCARY.

SCARY INDEED.

AND THE QUESTION MRS. JARVIS MAY HAVE TO UNRAVEL IS

WHERE THE FICTIONAL TERROR ENDS

AND REAL TERROR BEGINS.

MY DEAR GUESTS, I AM MR. ROARKE, YOUR HOST.

WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND.

THERE YOU ARE. THIS WAY, MR. PRESTON.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF.

YES, IT IS LOVELY, ISN'T IT?

THE SAND AND SEA ARE WARM, THE CLIMATE BENEVOLENT,

THE NATIVES FRIENDLY, SOMETIMES A LITTLE TOO FRIENDLY.

AH, THAT HUT IS YOURS.

THE FURNISHINGS ARE SPARTAN,

BUT THE FREE SOULS OF THE BEACH

PLACE LITTLE EMPHASIS ON MATERIAL POSSESSIONS.

THAT'S THE WAY I WANT IT.

WE'LL BE BACK MONDAY MORNING.

IN CASE YOU WISH TO CHANGE YOUR MIND.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.

I'M GOING TO STAY HERE FOREVER.

I SEE.

MR. PRESTON, YOU DO REALIZE, DON'T YOU,

THAT SOME UNSYMPATHETIC SOULS

DO NOT VIEW BEACHCOMBERS AS POETS IN DISGUISE,

BUT RATHER AS BUMS TO BE VICTIMIZED.

DON'T WORRY, I'M LONG PAST CARING

WHAT PEOPLE LIKE OR DON'T LIKE.

WELL, IN THAT CASE, WE BID YOU GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE.

COME, TATTOO.

I'M FREE!

I'M FREE! I'M FREE!

WE ARE SO EXCITED, MR. ROARKE.

YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE READ

EVERY ONE OF AUNT DAPHNE'S MURDER MYSTERIES

AT LEAST FIVE TIMES.

REALLY?

SO TELL ME WHICH ONE ARE WE GOING TO ACT OUT?

IS IT GOING TO BE THE CHECKER BOARD MURDERS,

OR THE COCONUT PLANTATION CAPER?

WON'T YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN.

YES, WE'D BE DELIGHTED, WOULDN'T WE.

AH, MRS. JARVIS, DAPHNE WALLACE,

MORE AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN TO HER READERS AS AUNT DAPHNE,

WAS A VERY DEAR AND PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE.

DID YOU KNOW SHE HAD A HOME CALLED MOCKINGBIRD MANOR

HERE ON FANTASY ISLAND?

OF COURSE.

AND WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO VISITING IT

AFTER OUR ADVENTURE.

I SEE.

AFTER DAPHNE'S DEATH LAST YEAR,

I FOUND THIS MANUSCRIPT IN HER LIBRARY.

BARELY HALF FINISHED.

THE VERY LAST AUNT DAPHNE WHODUNIT.

EXCEPTING MYSELF,

YOU COULD BE THE FIRST WHO HAS EVER READ IT.

OH, MY...

AH, MORE PRECISELY,

YOU WOULD BE THE THIRD PERSON TO READ IT.

FOR HER OWN PURPOSES, SHE TITLED IT

"THE MYSTERY OF MOCKINGBIRD MANOR."

THIS COULD BE YOUR PROJECT.

YOU WILL BE TAKEN TO HER HOME

AND GREETED THERE AS THE FICTIONAL AUNT DAPHNE

BY THE OTHER CHARACTERS IN THE MANUSCRIPT.

THEY WILL HELP YOU PLAY OUT THE SCENES.

OH, HOW FASCINATING.

BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET TO THE END?

WELL, PERHAPS AS A DEVOTED FAN,

YOU WILL HAVE DEDUCED THE ENDING DAPHNE WOULD HAVE LIKED.

IN OTHER WORDS... WHODUNIT.

I DON'T KNOW, MR. ROARKE.

WE DIDN'T PLAN ON ANYTHING AS UNUSUAL AS THIS.

I UNDERSTAND.

NO. I WILL DO IT.

I, I JUST HOPE THAT WE CAN PULL IT OFF.

SO DO I, MRS. JARVIS.

IT WAS A PLEASANT CHEERFUL DAY

AS WE TURNED INTO THE DRIVE OF MOCKINGBIRD MANOR.

LITTLE COULD ANYONE SUSPECT

THE TENSE, TERROR FILLED MOMENTS

THAT WERE SOON TO COME.

OH, THE GREAT DANE BOUNDED TOWARD THEM.

NOW, NOW DON'T STOOP TO HIS LEVEL, HERCUL.

AND THEN, THEN THE BUTLER CALLED.

DOWN, MANDRAKE, DOWN!

I HOPE HE DIDN'T STARTLE YOU, AUNT DAPHNE.

NO. YOU MUST BE HELMSLEY THE BUTLER.

YES, MADAM. WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU.

OH, MY... OH, LOOK.

AND THERE'S AUNT DAPHNE WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG.

NO, NO, KITTY, DON'T BE NERVOUS. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

AND THERE'S THAT THING RIGHT HERE.

IT WAS BLACK, UGLY AS SIN,

A FIERCE BEAK AND BEADY BUTTON EYES.

YECH, HOW UGLY. JUST AS IT SAID.

I'LL HAVE YOUR THINGS TAKEN UP TO YOUR ROOM, MADAM.

TEA WILL BE READY SHORTLY.

OH, WONDERFUL.

AND THE OTHERS WILL BE SLIGHTLY LATE, MADAM.

THE OTHERS?

COUSIN TERENCE AND CHARLOTTE.

CHARLOTTE?

YOUR LATE BROTHER'S WIFE.

OH, YES, OF COURSE. THEY'RE IN CHAPTER TWO.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

MMM, NOTHING... NOTHING.

VERY GOOD, MADAM.

WE MUST BE CAREFUL.

OH, HERCUL, IT'S ALL SO SPLENDID.

AND OF COURSE HER DESK

WHERE SHE WROTE ALL THOSE WONDERFUL BOOKS.

COME SEE, COME SEE.

COME AND SEE ALL THE THINGS, LOOK.

ALL OF THE LETTERS.

WHAT IN THE WORLD? THREE ACES OF SPADES?

WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT THREE ACES OF SPADES?

THAT MUST BE A CLUE.

BUT TO WHAT CRIME?

I KNOW, CHESTER. I KNOW, I KNOW.

BUT HE'S TRYING SO HARD TO DEVELOP HIS TALENT.

I MEAN, WHAT CAN WE DO BUT... ENCOURAGE HIM?

MM-HMM. LESSON NUMBER FOUR.

TATTOO. TATTOO!!

YES, BOSS.

UH, TATTOO, WHERE DID ALL THESE INSTRUMENTS COME FROM?

OH, DON'T WORRY, BOSS. THIS IS FOR MY NEW BAND.

NOW YOU'RE FORMING A BAND?

A MARCHING BAND.

WE ARE GOING TO BE A SENSATION.

I'M GOING TO BE THE BAND LEADER.

OH, MARVELOUS.

NOW I'M GOING TO PRACTICE TWICE AS HARD.

I'M ULLA.

I'M CHARLIE, CHARLIE PRESTON.

HELLO, CHARLIE.

BOY, THAT ROARKE PROVIDES EVERYTHING.

WHAT'S A ROARKE?

HE DIDN'T SEND YOU?

YOU CRAZY BEACHCOMBER.

YOU TALK FUNNY.

ARE YOU MARRIED, CHARLIE?

WELL, PROBABLY NOT BY NOW.

I IMAGINE MY WIFE'S ALREADY FILED FOR DIVORCE.

YOU NEED SOMEONE THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU.

CHARLIE LIKE THE FISH?

THE BEST I EVER TASTED.

DO YOU LIKE ME, CHARLIE?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

DO YOU WANT TO PLAY THE LOVE GAME?

THE LOVE GAME?

HOW DO YOU PLAY THE LOVE GAME?

WELL, I RUN, AND YOU TRY AND CATCH ME.

AND IF YOU CATCH ME, YOU WIN THE GAME.

AND ALSO A VERY SPECIAL PRIZE.

I'M PROBABLY DIVORCED BY NOW, BUT AS I SAID BUT...

HEY, WHAT AM I HESITATING FOR?

I'M A BEACHCOMBER.

AND THE LUCKY BUMS DO THINGS LIKE THIS.

ULLA, ULLA WHERE ARE YOU?

OVER HERE, CHARLIE.

CAUGHT YA!

WHO ARE YOU?

TUPA, HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING THE LOVE GAME?

WHO ARE YOU?

YOU, SIR HAVE DISHONORED MY DAUGHTER.

WHAT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

I NEVER SAW HER BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

SWEETHEART, DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

I'M TUPA.

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE. I NEVER SAW YOU BEFORE.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? YOU'RE MY SNUGUM BUGUM.

OH, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

ACCORDING TO OUR CUSTOMS, YOU HAVE BUT ONE CHOICE.

MARRIAGE OR HER BROTHERS.

HER BROTHERS?

CONGRATULATIONS, MY SON.

GLAD YOU SEE IT MY WAY.

TUPA WILL MAKE YOU A DEVOTED WIFE.

RIGHT... RIGHT.

LET HIM GO, BOYS.

OUR GROOM IS A BIT HESITANT.

BUT WHERE CAN HE GO ON THIS ISLAND?

PREPARE THE WEDDING.

COME. WE GET THE PREACHER.

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.

OH, SHUT UP, MANDRAKE.

WILL YOU NEVER LEARN TO RECOGNIZE US?

DOWN, MANDRAKE, DOWN! GO!

MISS DAPHNE IS TAKING TEA BEFORE THE FIRE, MISS CHARLOTTE.

HELLO, AUNT DAPHNE.

TERENCE.

HELLO, CHARLOTTE.

WELL, I DO HOPE THERE'S SOME OF THAT TEA LEFT.

OH, THERE IS.

A DOUBLE BRANDY FOR ME PLEASE, HELMSLEY.

OF COURSE, SIR.

SHALL I BE MUM?

WHY DID YOU COME?

MISS CHARLOTTE, PLEASE!

THAT'S OUR CHARLOTTE. JUST BLURT EVERYTHING RIGHT OUT.

SUGAR?

WHY, THANK YOU.

WELL, HERE WE ALL ARE.

BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.

ALL OF US. JUST AS WE PLANNED LAST YEAR.

ALL OF US.

PLUS ONE.

LET ME HAVE A DRINK PLEASE.

RUM, BOURBON. ANYTHING.

YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED.

THAT WILL BE A BUCK.

OH, SURE.

IT'S KIND OF FUNNY,

BUT I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D TAKE A COUNTER CHECK?

WHY DO YOU GEEKS MAKE ME DO THIS?

YOU THINK I LIKE TO HURT PEOPLE?

NO HARD FEELINGS, TURKEY,

BUT I GOTTA TEACH YOU A LESSON.

GOOD LORD, MAN. IT WAS ONLY ONE DRINK.

IF I LET YOU BEAT ME OUT OF ONE NOW,

NEXT TIME IT WILL BE TWO.

PRETTY SOON MY STOCK WILL BE GOING INTO THE BOTTOMLESS PIT.

I'M SORRY.

NOT AS SORRY AS YOU'RE GOING TO BE.

HEY.

DRINK'S ON ME, BUDDY.

WELL, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

HEY, YOU OK, FELLA?

UH, NO, NO, NOT REALLY.

BUT THERE'S ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THE BEACHCOMBING BUSINESS.

IF THE BEACH THAT YOU'RE ON ISN'T WORKING OUT,

YOU CAN ALWAYS MOVE TO ANOTHER BEACH.

OH.

DO YOU KNOW OF ANOTHER GOOD BEACH?

WELL, I TELL YOU THAT'S NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA

BECAUSE YOU SEE, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

WHAT? WHAT?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

YOUR WIFE HAS OFFERED A $5,000 REWARD

FOR YOUR SAFE RETURN. IF YOU JUST LOOK RIGHT THERE.

WHAT?

YOU GET THE PICTURE?

NOW YOU GET GOING QUIETLY,

OR I'LL FIND SOME HARD TIME FOR YOU TO DO RIGHT HERE

BEFORE YOU DO.

AND TRUST ME PAL,

THAT SLAMMER IN WAHELI IS A KILLER.

HEY, THEY GOT RATS THERE BIGGER THAN KANGAROOS.

YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND.

THE AUTHORITIES WILL KNOW THIS WHOLE THING IS PHONY

WHEN I TELL THEM WHO I AM.

WHO YOU ARE?

HEY, YOU'RE A DRIFTER.

YOU GOT NOT ID. YOU'RE JUST A BUM.

YOU GOT NO PAST, YOU GOT NO FUTURE.

NOW LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME SEND YOU BACK HOME

WHERE YOU PROBABLY BELONG.

NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SEND ME BACK TO THAT LIFE.

I GAVE THEM EVERYTHING I HAD. WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT FROM ME?

HEY, PAL, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

LOOK I JUST DELIVER YOU, THEN I COLLECT, THAT'S ALL.

AND THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO BE.

UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU WANT TO PLAY IT ANOTHER WAY.

YOU KNOW, THE EASY WAY.

THE EASY WAY?

YEAH, GUYS WHO DROP OUT LIKE YOU

USUALLY CARRY A LITTLE STASH OF DOUGH SECRETLY.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

WELL, FOR 7,500 BUCKS, I COULD FORGET I EVER SAW YOU.

YOU'RE PRETTY SMART, AREN'T YOU?

YEAH, I DIDN'T GET TO BE THE MAN I AM

ACTING DUMB, YOU KNOW.

I CAN SEE THAT.

WELL, ALL MY MONEY'S LOCKED UP IN A SAFE

AT THE MUTANGA SHIPPING COMPANY.

OH, WELL, THEN WE'LL WAIT TILL MORNING

WHEN IT OPENS UP, RIGHT?

OH... YEAH. YEAH, RIGHT.

HEY, LOOK, DON'T TRY RUNNING OUT ON ME BEFORE THEN

BECAUSE IF YOU DO...

MRS. JARVIS. MABEL JARVIS.

COME HERE, PLEASE!

OH, MY GOODNESS.

COME IN.

OH, PLEASE. I MUST TALK TO YOU ALONE.

WELL, WHO ARE YOU?

OH, OH, I'M EVELYN.

I'M AUNT DAPHNE'S NIECE.

HOW DO YOU DO?

MRS. JARVIS, YOU MUST GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.

YOU'RE NOT IN THE MANUSCRIPT.

MANUSCRIPT? WHAT MANUSCRIPT, MRS. JARVIS?

AND YOU'RE CALLING ME BY MY REAL NAME.

YES, WELL, SHOULDN'T I?

LOOK I'VE COME TO WARN YOU.

YOU'RE IN TERRIBLE DANGER, MRS. JARVIS.

DREADFUL, DEADLY DANGER.

FROM WHOM?

FROM THOSE PEOPLE IN THERE.

YOU SEE, I WAS HERE THE NIGHT OF THE MURDER.

WHAT MURDER?

MY AUNT, DAPHNE WALLACE.

SHE DIDN'T DIE NATURALLY?

DAPHNE WALLACE WAS MURDERED?

BY ONE OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE.

THEY'RE NOT CHARACTERS IN A MANUSCRIPT, THEY'RE REAL.

OH, DON'T YOU SEE,

ALL OF THEM WERE HEIRS TO HER FORTUNE.

THEN SHE CALLED THESE THREE TOGETHER

TO ANNOUNCE A NEW WILL. THAT NIGHT SHE WAS KILLED.

AND NOW THEY'RE AFRAID

THAT YOU'VE COME HERE TO SOLVE THE MURDER.

AND MRS. JARVIS, IF YOU DO, THEY MIGHT...

OH, BUT THAT DEAR MR. ROARKE

WOULD NEVER PUT ME INTO ANY REAL DANGER, WOULD HE?

HE WOULD.

IF HE THOUGHT YOU COULD SOLVE THE MURDER

OF HIS FRIEND, DAPHNE WALLACE.

AH, THERE YOU ARE.

AND YOU'RE HERE. DEAR COUSIN EVELYN.

WHAT A SURPRISE.

COME ALONG, MY DEAR. WE'RE ABOUT TO DINE.

CHARLOTTE WILL BE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

I DO HOPE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BOTHERING AUNT DAPHNE HERE

WITH A LOT OF SILLY STORIES.

MR. ROARKE.

AH, THERE YOU ARE, MRS. JARVIS.

YOU TOLD ME THAT THE MURDER AT MOCKINGBIRD MANOR

WAS A WORK OF FICTION.

OH, I THINK I JUST SAID IT WAS AN UNFINISHED MANUSCRIPT,

DIDN'T I, TATTOO?

THAT'S RIGHT, BOSS.

BUT IT'S AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL, I MEAN, IT'S REAL.

THOSE PEOPLE IN THERE ARE REALLY DAPHNE WALLACE'S RELATIVES.

YES, I'M AFRAID THEY ARE.

AND THE REASON THAT THE BOOK WAS NEVER FINISHED

WAS BECAUSE DAPHNE WAS MURDERED.

NOT THE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS MRS. WALLACE WAS WRITING ABOUT,

BUT MRS. WALLACE HERSELF.

WELL, ONE THING I CERTAINLY DON'T UNDERSTAND

IS WHY, IF ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE IN THERE IS GUILTY,

THAT ALL OF THEM CAME BACK TO THE ISLAND.

TO PLAY OUR LITTLE GAME.

YES.

IF ONE HAD REFUSED

WOULD IT NOT HAVE MADE HIM APPEAR VERY SUSPICIOUS?

YOU SEE, I HAD HOPED

WE COULD HELP EACH OTHER, MRS. JARVIS.

I, BY PROVIDING YOUR FANTASY.

YOU BY HELPING ME FLUSH OUT MRS. WALLACE'S KILLER.

IT DIDN'T WORK OUT, AND FROM HERE ON,

IT'S NO GAME.

IT MAY WELL BE DEADLY.

AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO PROTECT YOU.

PLEASE GET IN THE CAR.

BUT IF I GO NOW

THEN THE MURDERER WILL GET AWAY FREE.

I'M AFRAID SO.

OH, NO. I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

I OWE THAT GREAT LADY MORE THAN THAT.

YOU REALIZE YOU MAY BE PLACING YOURSELF

IN A GREAT DEAL OF DANGER, MRS. JARVIS.

I DO.

VERY WELL THEN.

MRS. JARVIS, YOU ARE A VERY BRAVE WOMAN.

I HOPE YOUR DECISION PROVES TO BE...

A WISE ONE.

I HOPE SO, TOO.

OH, AUNT DAPHNE, DID I DO THE RIGHT THING?

OH, WHAT A HAPPY OCCASION!

TUPA, THE GROOM IS HERE.

LET THE CEREMONY BEGIN.

LOOK, YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE.

NO MISTAKE. TUPA MAKE YOU A LOVEABLE WIFE.

HOLD IT THERE, HOLD IT. BREAK IT UP, GONO.

THIS MAN IS WANTED BY THE POLICE.

HE'S A VAGRANT.

BAPU.

ULLA.

OK, YOU FLAKE.

SHIPPING COMPANY SAYS YOU DON'T HAVE A DIME ON DEPOSIT.

LOOK, I'M ALREADY MARRIED. SO I COULDN'T MARRY HER ANYWAY.

YOU DIDN'T ACT MARRIED

WHEN YOU WERE CHASING ULLA INTO THE CAVE.

TAKE ME AWAY.

BAPU. BAPU!

COME ON. COME ON.

BORE.

THANK YOU.

LOOK AT THEM OUT THERE.

AND TO THINK THAT ONE OF THEM MURDERED DAPHNE.

EVELYN, YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN DAPHNE WALLACE

BETTER THAN ANYONE.

DID SHE EVER EXPRESS AN INTEREST TO YOU

IN FLYING KITES?

FLYING KITES?

MRS. JARVIS, SHE WAS AN EXTREMELY DIGNIFIED LADY.

WELL, THEN WHY WOULD SHE WRITE THE SECRET LIES BEHIND THE KITE?

STRANGE.

THE ONLY FLYING THAT SHE WAS INTERESTED IN

WAS DONE BY BIRDS.

BIRDS?

SHE LOVED BIRDS. ALL KINDS OF BIRDS.

YOU CAN SEE BY LOOKING AT THE HOUSE.

EVELYN, I THINK WE'VE GOT IT.

WE HAVE?

A KITE.

YOU REMEMBER THAT PHRASE FROM SHAKESPEARE?

"IN THE MOORS OF KITES."

A KITE IS A BIG UGLY BIRD.

THAT MUST BE WHAT THAT HIDEOUS THING IS.

THEN IF THE SECRET IS BEHIND THE KITE...

SECRET DOOR.

LOOK AT THIS.

SEE, IT'S ANOTHER BIRD SANCTUARY.

MY GOODNESS.

UH-UH. NO, THAT'S NOT FOR YOU.

EVELYN.

I THINK I FOUND THE ANSWER.

DID DAPHNE WRITE THAT?

YES, I'M SURE THAT'S HER HANDWRITING.

WHAT IS IT?

WELL, IT'S A HOLOGRAPHIC WILL.

IT SPECIFICALLY DISINHERITS TERENCE, CHARLOTTE AND HELMSLEY.

THEY WERE TRYING TO DEFRAUD HER, AND SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.

THEN WHO DOES GET THE MONEY?

THE FIRST HALF GOES TO

THE SEABIRDS ORNITHOLOGICAL FOUNDATION.

AND THE SECOND HALF GOES TO YOU.

THERE'S THE MOTIVE FOR THE MURDER.

WHEN THE THREE OF THEM LEARNED OF THE NEW WILL,

ONE OF THEM DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

AND THAT ONE KILLED HER.

I THINK WE'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.

CAN I BRING YOU ANYTHING, MADAM?

OH, NO, THANK YOU, HELMSLEY.

WE'RE FINE. JUST FINE.

VERY GOOD, MADAM.

HOW I HATE THAT WOMAN

FOR PUTTING US THROUGH THIS TERRIBLE WEEKEND.

AND I DON'T THINK HELMSLEY DESERVED THE HOUSE.

AFTER ALL, HE'S ONLY A SERVANT.

DON'T BE GREEDY, DARLING.

DAPHNE'S OLD WILL MADE US ALL RICH ANYWAY.

AH, YOU WERE SAYING...

THAT'S STRANGE.

HOW COULD THIS BECOME TILTED LIKE THAT?

AH!

WHAT IS IT?

SOME KIND OF SECRET ROOM.

THAT WOMAN MUST HAVE BEEN IN HERE.

YOU DON'T SUPPOSE SHE FOUND DAPHNE'S NEW WILL IN HERE?

YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS SECRET ROOM FOR YEARS.

OH, HOW I WISH DAPHNE WERE ALIVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT.

MAYBE IN ONE OF HER BOOKS.

ALL THREE HAD EQUAL MOTIVES.

WAIT A MINUTE!

THERE WAS A SITUATION JUST LIKE THIS

IN THE CASE OF THE CORPULENT CORPSE.

IN THE BOOK, I THINK THEY ALL DREW CARDS

AND WHOEVER DREW THE ACE OF SPADES

WOULD BE THE MURDERER.

BUT ONLY THAT ONE WOULD KNOW.

NATURALLY THEY ASKED HELMSLEY THE BUTLER

TO PROVIDE THE CARDS, AND HE FIXED THE CARDS,

IN THE BOOK, SO THAT THEY WERE ALL ACES.

THAT'S IT! THEY'RE ALL GOING TO KILL ME!!

BUT ANOTHER MURDER?

WE'VE NO CHOICE.

JUST LIKE THE LAST TIME.

THE ONE WHO DREW THE ACE OF SPADES

WILL BE THE MURDERER.

GET ON WITH IT, HELMSLEY.

I'M SORRY, SIR.

LADIES FIRST.

ULLA.

THE MOON WILL BE FULL TONIGHT, BAPU.

I HAD A VISION, OUR ISLAND GODDESS,

SHE WAS DANCING IN ONE OF THE STARS.

WHEN THE VISION PASSED, I SAW YOU FIRST.

THEN YOU MUST OBEY THE ISLAND CUSTOM.

THE LOVE GAMES.

YES.

WE DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH TIME TO BARGAIN.

PROMISE TO MARRY TUPA, AND I'LL SET YOU FREE.

YOU NEVER GIVE UP, DO YOU?

YES OR NO?

ALL RIGHT, YOU WIN.

OH, NO, WAIT! YOU PROMISED!

NOW I WANT MY SPECIAL PRIZE.

HALT! HALT! THIS IS THE POLICE!

HEY, HEY, HEY STOP! HALT! POLICE!

HEY, HOLD IT, HALT!

MR. PRESTON, YOU'RE JUST IN TIME TO JOIN US.

I CAN'T. COPS CHASING ME.

NOT ANYMORE.

YOUR FANTASY IS OVER, MR. PRESTON.

WHAT ABOUT BAPU?

WELL, I'M AFRAID THE OFFICER WHO WAS CHASING YOU

HAS OTHER BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO AT THE MOMENT.

WITH ULLA, OOH LA LA.

YES.

EVEN SO, IT LOOKS LIKE I'M OUT OF LUCK

AND OUT OF OPTIONS.

I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH FUN HERE.

IN FACT, IT'S BEEN A DISASTER.

YES, WELL, I SUPPOSE YOU COULD ALWAYS GO BACK TO YOUR FAMILY,

COULDN'T YOU?

I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT WHILE I WAS IN JAIL.

OH, WHAT A SHAMBLES I'VE MADE OF MY LIFE.

I'D GO BACK IN A MINUTE IF THEY'D TAKE ME.

WELL, THEY DID PUT OUT A REWARD FLYER FOR YOUR SAFE RETURN.

DO YOU THINK THEY'D FORGIVE ME? IS THERE A CHANCE?

NANCY?

CHARLIE.

I KNOW WHY YOU RAN AWAY, CHARLIE.

AND I'M SORRY.

I GUESS IT'S BEEN PRETTY GREAT FOR YOU HERE, HUH?

TROPICAL PARADISE.

NONE OF THE HOME PROBLEMS WE'VE BEEN STICKING YOU WITH.

NOBODY ON YOUR BACK ALL THE TIME.

YEAH, IT'S BEEN PRETTY TERRIFIC.

THEN I GUESS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.

WHAT?

THAT WE LOVE YOU.

AND THAT WE LEARNED OUR LESSON.

AND WE WANT YOU TO COME HOME.

WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED ANYMORE, CHARLIE.

I SEE.

GEE, IT WOULD BE TOUGH TO GIVE ALL THIS UP.

OH, THAT'S OK.

I ONLY ASK THAT YOU LET ME STAY WITH YOU

UNTIL YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

UM, JUST A MOMENT.

BE CAREFUL.

I WILL.

OH, COME IN, HELMSLEY.

I THOUGHT PERHAPS YOU MIGHT LIKE A CUP OF TEA, MADAM.

THANK YOU, HELMSLEY.

HOW VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.

NOT AT ALL, MADAM. NOT AT ALL.

OH, ALLOW ME, MADAM.

I'M SO CLUMSY.

ALL CLEAR, CHUMS.

WELL, AND WHICH ONE OF US DO YOU SUPPOSE DID IT?

YOU'VE KILLED HER.

JUST AS YOU MURDERED AUNT DAPHNE!

WE'LL DECIDE HOW TO GET RID OF HER

ON THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT.

HURRY AND PACK THE BAGS.

BRING THE CAR.

GET THE CAR YOURSELF. I'M NO LONGER A SERVANT.

I SAID BRING THE CAR.

WE HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH HER

BEFORE WE GET TO THE AIRPORT.

YOU KNOW WHAT MUST BE DONE.

RUN, EVELYN, RUN!

SHE'S GOING INTO THE GARAGE.

JUMP ON!

ARREST THOSE PEOPLE.

ARREST THEM FOR THE MURDER OF DAPHNE WALLACE.

STARS.

WELL, HOW DID I DO?

I'M SURE AUNT DAPHNE IS VERY PROUD OF YOU, MRS. JARVIS.

OH, THANK YOU.

GOODBYE, MR. ROARKE, AND THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

GOING BACK HOME SO SOON, MR. PRESTON?

TEMPORARILY.

I HAVE A FEW COMMUNICATION GAPS

TO CLEAR UP AT THE OFFICE, TOO.

MAYBE I SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO SOME PEOPLE

AND ADMIT I'VE DONE A FEW THINGS WRONG.

AND VICE VERSA. BUT WE'LL BE BACK.

GOOD LUCK, MR. PRESTON, PLEASURE. MRS. PRESTON.

GOODBYE.

GOODBYE.

OH, MR. ROARKE, I MUST SAY

THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST EXCITING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.

OH, I AM SO GLAD.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS YOUR MOST BRILLIANT DEDUCTION?

REALIZING THAT HELMSLEY ENGINEERED IT

SO ALL THREE COMMITTED THE MURDER.

THANK YOU.

WELL, OF COURSE IT WAS MOST GRATIFYING TO ME

TO BE ABLE TO... TO REPAY DAPHNE WALLACE

FOR ALL THE YEARS OF PLEASURE HER BOOKS HAVE GIVEN ME.

AND OF COURSE SHE SAVED EVELYN'S LIFE.

OH, HOW'S THAT?

IF I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT TRICK FROM HARLEQUIN HOMICIDE,

THEY WOULD HAVE KILLED EVELYN, TOO.

OH, THEY WOULD HAVE INDEED.

BUT ONE THING PUZZLES ME, MRS. JARVIS.

WHAT'S THAT?

WELL, I LOOKED AT HARLEQUIN HOMICIDE THIS MORNING

AND THE TRICK YOU USED IS NOT IN THE BOOK.

ARE YOU SURE?

POSITIVE.

OH, WELL, I'M SURE DAPHNE WOULD HAVE DONE IT

IF SHE'D THOUGHT OF IT.

THANK YOU, MR. ROARKE.

YOU'RE MOST WELCOME, MRS. JARVIS.

THANK YOU.

BYE.

EXCUSE ME, BOSS, BUT I'VE GOT TO GO.

I'VE GOT TO GO TO MY FIRST REHEARSAL WITH MY NEW BAND.

OH, OF COURSE, MY FRIEND.

I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

DESPITE ALL OF THE NOISE,

I REALLY ADMIRE YOUR STICK-TO-ITIVENESS

IN LEARNING TO PLAY THE TRUMPET.

I CAN IMAGINE IT GETS VERY TEDIOUS AT TIMES, HUH?

WELL, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH BOSS,

I WAS READY TO GIVE IT UP UNTIL I GOT THE IDEA OF THE BAND.

WHY WOULD THAT MAKE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND?

I MEAN HAVING TO TAKE CARE OF A WHOLE BAND

WOULD MEAN ALL THE MORE WORK, WOULDN'T IT?

THAT'S YOUR BAND, HUH?

WELL, YOU KNOW ME, BOSS.

WORK, WORK, WORK.

GOODBYE, BOSS.

COME ON, GIRLS.