Original subtitles

Get inside you.

Please don't tell my mom.

Look, you know, do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?

No. Okay, this is what, the sixth time this week?

It's just a normal teenager thing.

No, it's not a teenager thing. No, they're so stupid.

Like, it's so ridiculous. Like, I literally was just like taking a nap.

Shush. Sit down.

Look.

You keep getting in trouble at school, okay?

I keep having to come and pick you up, okay?

Well, no one asked you to.

Look, your mother is doing a double shift today, okay?

Yeah, because you don't work, so... That's not the point.

That is the point. No, that's not the point.

The point is, you keep getting in trouble, I keep having to come and pick

ass up, and I have to tell your mother.

Okay? Eventually, I'm going to have to tell your mother. You know, we had a

little talk about you.

All right? She wants to send you to a boarding school.

No. Yeah.

That's crazy.

Well, look, here's the thing, okay?

I have a feeling that you keep getting in a lot of trouble because, you know,

well, I mean, you're not doing anything.

In between classes, you're just getting yourself in trouble. You're not doing

anything, like, during your lunch recess.

You have no structure.

Okay, I have, like,

6 ,000 followers on Instagram, so I beg to differ.

Okay, well, it doesn't make... I mean, I think I'd make a fantastic

photographer. I'd take really good selfies.

And, like, the photos of my acai bowl are just, like, on point.

Okay.

So you can't say I don't do anything.

No, it's not the matter of that you don't do anything. It's the things that

are doing are getting you in trouble.

Okay? That's my point. So you just said I'm not doing anything. So how can the

things I'm not doing be getting me in trouble?

You know, no, I'm talking about after school activity that, you know, field

hockey, volleyball, something, you know, math club.

What about math club?

Do I look like a person who would be good at math club?

You know what? You're actually a really bright girl.

No, that's like social suicide.

That's actual social suicide.

Your academics have nothing to do with being socially acceptable.

It has to do with your academics.

I would rather have friends than be...

Super, super, like, nerdy. Like, who even, like, gets anything from math

Let's see. Well, I would definitely say that the person that owns, like, the

hugest computer company in the world was... He wasn't on math team. He was on

tech team.

So... So, then, you know what? You said you're really into, like, your phone and

all your little gadgets and your apps and all that stuff. Well, why don't you

around for... Is there a tech team at your school?

No, but there's a photography club.

Okay.

So there's something, but you know what? But then you have to buy me like a $4

,000 camera.

Well, doesn't the school provide that? No.

Oh, my God. What's going on with the education system? Why don't you just

me to public school? Like, that's what makes more sense.

Like... Look, we got to come up with some kind of after -school activity

going to keep you out of trouble, that's going to be good for you, and you know

what? Maybe you get a little bit more exercise, okay?

I mean, like...

What do you... Well, the boys at school say that I'm really good at splits.

What do you think?

I really don't want to know why they know that.

But, okay.

So, you're flexible.

Yeah. So, maybe you can join a gymnastics team.

Okay. Okay? Can you do... You can do splits?

Yeah. I mean, like, gymnastics is kind of cool.

Plus, like, the costumes are really cute.

Well, yeah. I mean, you can go to, like, you know, the world championship. I

mean, you're obviously starting a little bit late, but you never know.

True.

So, but you can... Sweet.

How flexible are you?

You want to see?

Well, yeah, I do.

Okay. So...

I'm not going to break your table, but if I do, it's a shitty table anyway.

It's your mother's table.

Well, Mom has bad taste in furniture.

And you know I'm right.

Yeah, but I mean, is that like a full split? It's not really like a full

I mean, you can... Almost.

You're almost there.

You know what? Why don't you do it on the floor over there, okay?

Stop laughing.

I'm not laughing.

Trust me, I'm not laughing.

Not like mom can do any better.

Well, you can actually get pretty far down there.

So, okay, now is it really all the boys at school or just maybe a couple of

them?

Do you really think that I would, like, suck at anything?

Well, you suck at not getting caught, okay?

Well, I'm not lame, so... Well, you still, you got yourself in trouble.

Again.

So, I guess you do suck at a couple of things.

So, why don't you try doing that split again?

What are you doing?

What? That's like a total, like, are you a perv? No, no, no. Oh, my gosh, you're

a perv. No, no, that's not what you're thinking.

Wait till I tell Mom.

No, you're not going to tell your mother.

Well, then you're not going to tell her about me getting in trouble.

Well, you know what? Look, I was just fixing your skirt a little bit. You

it kind of popped up a little when you went down there. And you grabbed my

That was an accident. You grabbed my butt. But here's the deal, okay? You're

going to go try out for the gym team tomorrow, okay?

Fine. All right?

Okay. All right?

And I didn't grab your butt. You grabbed my butt.

All right.

Go do your homework.

No.

Guess what?

What? Guess what?

What? I signed up for the gymnastics team today.

Try out there tomorrow.

Good. I'm so excited.

That's great.

No,

I'm short.

Yeah, I know you're short.

Okay, stop, stop, stop.

What did you have, like sugar today? I always have sugar.

Yeah, but I think you had a little bit too much. I had an acai bowl.

So, okay, so what happened?

Okay, so I found out that Becky LaHarris is also signing up for the team. And if

I can get in, like, on the same team as Becky, my social career is, like, set

for life. I mean, past high school, past college. It's not about your social

career. It's about academics.

Gymnastic and academics. I don't know what you think this is. No, I want to be

reality TV star, and if I'm going to succeed at that, I have to be loved by

everyone.

Like, don't you know anything about anything?

Oh, my God. All right, so what does this have to do with Becky, and what does

this have to do with your triads and stuff?

Okay, well, I still am trying to get my splits, and...

I don't think that if I can not even do a split, I can even make it.

Well, you did actually really good, but you couldn't... But I couldn't go all

the way down.

Oh, okay.

And I was wondering if you could help me.

Well, yeah, sure.

Okay.

Yeah, absolutely. I can help you.

Okay. So why don't you get stretched out and then, you know, we can...

I can give you a hand.

Um, just on the floor?

You can do it on the floor.

Or right here?

Go ahead, do it on your mom's couch.

I never stopped her before.

So... Oh, God.

So your grades are still doing good, though.

Are they?

Pretty much.

Good. My behavior doesn't really affect how good I am at reading a book. Yeah,

but you know what? The amount of money that we're paying for tuition does. Then

why don't you just send me to a public school?

Keep doing your stretches.

Okay, well, you know, I can... We'll go back down on that one. On that one?

So, yeah, we can...

Thank you.

Well, you know, I think you're going to need... What are you, Jean -Claude?

Who the fuck is that?

Oh, my God.

Okay, well... Yeah, that's it.

That's it.

Keep going.

Oh.

Yeah. Yeah?

Okay.

Ooh.

Ooh, don't pull it. What is it, a hemi?

You pull that a little bit?

Yeah. Yeah?

I need to stretch some more.

Okay.

How does that feel?

Better. Does it feel good?

Yeah.

It's right here where that tendon is.

It's like really tense.

Mm -hmm.

How's your other leg?

Not as bad.

I don't feel like there's as much stress there. I feel like it's mainly this

one. Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Try to do that.

You feel that?

Yeah.

Is that pulling a little too much right there?

Yeah, there's a lot of tension.

Yeah. You know

what?

I'll tell you what.

I got an idea.

Turn around. Turn around.

I got an idea.

I actually used to help out. I had an old cheerleader girlfriend

back in high school that I used to help out to do splits.

And we used to do something that was, you know, kind of, it was fun, you know,

but it got her to get those splits perfect.

Do you want to give it a shot?

Yeah. Come on.

Let's go upstairs.

Yeah, so.

Okay.

Alright.

So.

Like I said, I used to have this cheerleader girlfriend back in high

Okay. And she kind of has the same problem that you're having now. You

really get her splits really done completely.

And, you know, well.

Here's the deal, okay?

I'm going to lay down, all right, on your bed. Okay. And you're going to

above me, and then you're going to spread your legs, and come down, come

come down, come down, come down, come down.

Okay?

What? Yeah, come on. Let's just try it, okay?

Hop up.

Come on.

You're sure this is okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just come on.

All right, now stand up.

Stand up above me.

Okay.

Now, come on down. Slow.

Just spread the legs, spread the legs, spread the legs. Keep coming, keep

coming, keep coming, keep coming, keep coming, keep coming, keep coming.

And come on.

Boom. There you go. All right, go back up.

Okay.

This isn't fun.

You know what?

Hop off.

You want to make this fun?

I know.

I know. You want to make this fun, don't you? Yes.

We'll make this fun.

What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

Dude.

What?

You're taking your pants off.

You want it to be fun, right?

I'm your stepdaughter, so that's kind of inappropriate.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. No, no.

Inappropriate. Come on.

Come on.

Come on. You want to have fun?

Huh? You want to do this? You want to have some fun?

We're not telling Mom about this.

No. No, definitely not telling your mother about this.

All right?

But, you know, okay, so let's do that again.

You need to take your bottoms off.

How does that in any way have anything to do with me being a student?

Well, it'll be really fun because you're just going to come down. You're going

to come down. I'm going to hold it up. I'm going to hold it up. And then when

you get all the way down, just a tip's going to pop in.

Just a tip.

You're going to like it, I'm telling you.

Mm -hmm.

Come on.

Come on.

Almost there.

I

don't

know if I can hold it.

Just a tip. Hold it up. Hold it up.

Ow.

Oh,

you're silly.

You're so silly.

Here, just... That's it, just sit up straight.

There you go.

Alright.

Oh, see?

I told you you were going to like this.

Is this okay?

Yeah.

What are you trying to do? Are you trying to put the tip in again?

Hmm?

Be honest.

Yes.

Spread those legs.

Look at that.

Oh, my God. Are you serious?

Yeah. Really?

Oh, my God. Look at you.

That is so great.

I knew you could do it. I'm really, really proud of you.

Hey, you know what?

Go against the wall there. Let me take a picture for your mom. Okay.

Okay.

And... Nice.

Okay, well, come on in. Tell me what happened.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, so... What are you doing standing on the table?

I just want to.

I'll pick shitty furniture anyway.

All right. I bet this table would break if I actually jumped on it. I only

weigh, like, 90 pounds.

Okay, so what happened?

Okay, so...

And Gracie Marie was like, I bet you can't do the split. And I was like,

my stepdad taught me, and then I did it. And I was like, take that, Gracie

Marie, and then I got her spot.

Get out.

Yes. Oh, my God, do that again.

Look at you.

Oh, my God, you're going for the gold, aren't you? Mm -hmm.

I'm really proud of you. I knew you could do it.

Well, I want to say thank you.

Yeah, well, you're very welcome.

I mean, I couldn't have done it without you.

Yeah, well, no, you could have, but you just needed a little kick in the butt.

So I wanted to say thank you in another way.

What do you mean in another way? I mean, the other day you were helping me, and

I mean, I kind of liked it.

So... Yeah?

I mean... Maybe I could thank you the same way.

What?

Okay, um... Uh... I mean, maybe I should still be

working on my splits anyways.

Don't you think?

What do you mean?

I mean, if I stop practicing, I won't be able to do it anymore.

So what do you think?

Um... Mom doesn't have to know. Well, no shit mom

doesn't have to know.

superhero in that outfit.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hold those legs out.

Hold those legs out.

Oh,

my God,

yes.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

That's it. Come here.

That's it.

That's it. That's it.

Maybe I'll make bubble blowing my next sport.